 Between Barbie and Taylor Swift, the era's tour, it's true what they say. Girls get it done. Taylor Swift's concert movie already bringing in tons of revenue, they had to add extra theaters, extra show times, it's a massive success, and it hasn't even been out for a week. But how was the movie? Well good news, I saw it. And I don't think anyone could be more qualified than the straight middle-aged white dude who does movie reviews on YouTube. What do you know? That's me. This review is really going to take this from two different angles. One, the movie itself, and two, the theatrical experience. When I graced the theater with my presence, along with my buddy and my 14-year-old daughter, I felt a little out of place. I felt a little detached from the room. It was, I'd say, 90% teenage girls and their moms. But I have to say this was a pretty fun crowd. This was a good time. There was a teenage girl who walked around the seats asking if we wanted some wrist bracelets. I declined. My daughter jumped right in, grabbed one, they were homemade. They were very well crafted. If I could do it all over again, my biggest regret was not accepting the bracelet. I should have taken it. I should have worn it with pride. My daughter got one though. She represented the family. I'm just not big on things on the wrist. I don't wear a wedding ring. I don't have any tattoos. I don't, I just, I don't do that stuff. It's not, it's not in my nature. It doesn't feel good to me. Right before the movie started, another set of girls went to the front of the theater. They took a selfie of the entire crowd. So somewhere on the internet, I'm there. I'm in, I'm in the mix doing this or doing this. I don't know what pose I made. It was dumb. I can assure you it was dumb. Now I was informed late in the game, meaning in the theater from someone else that Taylor Swift had posted out about the Eris tour movie and how she wanted it to feel like a concert experience, meaning she wanted people out of their seats dancing, holding up their phones and then doing the whole, you know, doing the whole thing. Anybody that knows me in my channel, that's a problem for me. I do not like when people are on their phones and whatnot, but you know, I had to get the stick out of my ass and realize this is not that type of thing. This isn't, you know, a mom on her Facebook feed or a guy looking at ESPN and really just being a distraction. No, this is an experience that we're all sharing. Everyone's involved in the concert. Everyone's there together as a cohesive unit and that's completely different. I like seeing ladies night out go to the front side and start dancing halfway through the film. The little kids jumping up and down, singing along with the music. That was fun. The girl behind me couldn't sing worth a shit and quite frankly after a couple songs I was about done with it. Thankfully Becky, that's the name I'm giving her, Becky shut the fuck up after a while because I was about to turn to Becky and say, hey, do you know who sings this song? And I wait for her to say Taylor Swift. I'd be like, yeah, exactly, bitch. Exactly. Not you, Taylor. Let's listen to her voice, but we moved past it. There was unfortunately a bit of a situation that did occur around the two hour mark. I'm going to save that for the end. So consider this a teaser to something more to come. It wasn't a great situation. It was ugly at times, but you know, we made it out. But let's talk about the movie a little bit. All right. So this is Taylor Swift, the heiress tour. It's an almost three hour film because it's the entire concert. I believe they filmed probably over a course of a couple nights. Maybe this is all from one night of, I really don't know how any of this works. I just know that it looked really good. Some beautiful camera shots. They're moving all the time, really playing with the music. There's like 40 songs, 40 plus songs off this thing. Now, anybody that knows me or who's been on this channel for a while should understand that I'm unapologetically into female pop music for every mega death song that comes on my playlist, every Metallica song, every Billy talent, every perfect circle or tool or nine inch nails. There will be a Taylor Swift. There will be an Olivia Rodrigo. There will be a Selena Gomez, a Kesha, a Carmen, an Ariana Grande, some Gwen Stefani in there. No doubt. So there was no doubt that I was hyped for this film, not probably as hyped as my daughter was. She's been looking forward to this for a long time. She has been to a Taylor Swift concert. Unfortunately, I couldn't go. My wife went with her back in the day a couple years back. So this is as close as I've been to her as in Taylor. And I did feel close because she's up there on the big ass screen. The camera is up in her business. She looks great. She sounds great. Music solid. You know, one of the pros and cons of Team Money, I call Taylor Swift Team Money for that one time only and never again, is that she has such a vast collection of great songs that you're almost going to be disappointed no matter what. Even after 40-some tracks, I felt like, um, where was Welcome to New York? Where was Message in a Bottle? How do you not play Message in a Bottle? Are you out of your fucking mind, Taylor? Oh, I should also point out if you're triggered by swearing, if you stumbled on this channel and you're like, oh my god, and you clutch your pearls and I'm swearing. Taylor Swift's movie would be rated R if it was rated. I don't know if it actually, if they rate concert movies, but she drops F-bombs several times in it in songs. She says shit a couple times, plenty of stuff in there. So it's funny that the Taylor Swift movie would be rated R. And it was even more funny watching little kids sing along to it and self-censor. They get to that part in the lyrics where they know the F-bombs gonna get dropped and they just shut their mouth for a second and then move right past it. But far funnier are the little kids that do say the swear word. I ate that up. That was hilarious. Just a little tiny kid like, fucking nanny nanny. It's good stuff. My daughter did sing a little bit, but it was tough to get out words with the uncontrollable crying she was doing. She was absolutely in heaven here. She was on my shoulder three or four times, just overcome with emotion. She was so excited. Now I will say this as well. Taylor Swift seems like one of the nicest people on the planet. I don't care who you are or what's your beliefs or what's your, you know, what, who cares? She just seems like a genuinely nice, good person. And when you're at that level making that much money, that's a rare thing. That's a rare thing. And I'm happy for her. And that she's achieved so much success, not just from her peer talent and hard work ethic, but just from being a good person. And man, do I really hope this doesn't age poorly in a couple weeks or months or years for that matter. When we find out Taylor Swift's actually been eating babies that she's been housing in a freezer over the course of her lifetime. That's how she keeps her youthful glow. No, I think she's a good one. Something that really chapped my ass is I'm a regal, card carrying member. I pay that $23 a month or whatever it is. And I can see unlimited films in the box office. It's an amazing deal actually, especially when they rip you off at a normal price point of like 12 bucks a ticket. So 23 bucks for the month, forget about it. It's perfect. Unfortunately, a concert movie isn't covered. This is a $21 or $22 movie experience per person. So I spent $40 some dollars just on two seats alone. And that's what the big question is. Does this warrant $40, $50, $80, $100? You know, by the time you buy four tickets and some snacks at the concession, yeah, you're dropping well over $100 on this bad boy. They're trying to pretend it's a concert. Does this make up the concert experience? Does it match it? Hell to the know it doesn't. At least not in my theater. Would I have spent the $20 again? Fucking yes, I would have, mainly because my daughter was so into it. I enjoyed it. I did enjoy it. I thought it was a good time. Would I have gone so hard into the folklore section of music? No. No, I wouldn't have, Taylor, because quite frankly, I think your COVID two-disc thing sucked. Didn't care for that era. Didn't like the artsy, folksy stuff. One or two songs fine, but she went like five or six deep. That's too long when you got songs sitting on the sidelines that everybody loves. Way too long to spend on folklore. Folk bore. Folk snore. Regardless, if you like Taylor Swift, if you love her music, 20 bucks, 22 bucks, it's worth it. It's absolutely worth it. Now I will say the theater, my theater chain, Regal, kind of sucks ass, but that doesn't mean all theaters are created equal and they're not. I really hope some people get a really good theater when they watch this movie. Big IMAX screen with Dolby surround sound pumped up. Maybe they got a fog machine in the room, some laser lights. Really take it up a notch. My Regal, the screen was decent size. The music was far too low though. I don't want to hear Becky and her friends singing the song. I want this shit blasting. If I'm supposed to be in a concert, make me believe I'm in a concert. As it stands, it was just a concert of a movie that I wish I was at. That's kind of the feeling I got. You got to really bring us into that environment and this does not go far enough to do that. I don't blame the movie though. It's the fault of the theater not accommodating. Then again, I remember back in the day when George Lucas forced theaters to upgrade their sound system. If they wanted to play his Star Wars, I think Taylor Swift has as much pull as he does. At this point, she could have said, I want fucking fog machines in this theater. I want that sound system blasting my music or you're going to go down in flames. Overall impression of the Taylor Swift, the heiress tour. It was a very fun experience, an incredibly memorable one based on the audience I was with. This is a film that could go very much either way though. You have to tread lightly. Know what you're getting into. These are packed theaters. You could have a terrible crowd that's very intrusive, interrupting everything, making it about themselves. Or you could have an experience more like mine where yes, you have people doing the phone thing, but they're really interacting with the film itself. They're taking photos, but they're keeping the brightness down. It was very respectful except for one woman. Of course, it's the woman sitting right in front of me with her son that she's neglecting for most of the movie until I stepped in. Until I had to become I guess the asshole in this situation. I gave this woman two full hours and some change into this film sitting on her goddamn phone almost the entire time. Brightness, I'll give her 20% brightness. I'll give her 20. At times, it's at full because she was fidgeting with it so much. She can't focus on one thing. She is sitting here checking her messages, going on Facebook, looking at photos of her family, talking to people. She is not engaged in the movie. Her son is miserable sitting next to her. He wants someone that he can kind of like sing with and enjoy the thing. He's got the glow ring on and no, fuck this lady. Eventually, I just had enough after stewing in my seat. I bend forward and I say verbatim. Man, you are killing me with the phone. Can you please shut it off for the rest of the movie? She does a full body turnaround, looks me square in my dead eyes and says, no, ladies and gentlemen, we have found ourselves a Karen in the wild. I was afraid we had a level five Karen on our hands. Thankfully, it calmed down to about a level two, but this was not a good situation. And I did not want to be part of it. And I did not want to be missing the movie and having my daughter next to me in this awkward situation. I say, okay, if you can't stay off your phone when it's not, you know, movie related, can you at least just put it on your lap so that I don't have to see it? Because I paid a lot of money to experience the movie, but instead I'm looking at your Facebook feed and it's distracting. And she argues with me. She's like, no, my brightness is down on my phone. I'm like, well, that's debatable whether or not, you know, you have the brightness appropriate amount, but I think any amount over 0% is too much. After a little bit more back and forth where I think she called me rude at one point, ironically, so she turned around and she did put her phone down. She was still checking it on her lap. But you know what happened after that? Her son came in, she pulled her son in. He laid on her shoulder. They were singing together. They were engaging in the film and holy shit, there's a life outside of your phone, you dumb bitch. That's salted it a little bit. You know, that's stung, but thankfully nothing else was said. We got up right away and left. There was no more altercation. It could have been a really ugly situation, but outside of that speed bump and outside of the fact that the theater needed to up its game, this was a fun movie. This was a good time at the movies. And I do suggest you go out and see it if you're a fan of Taylor Swift. I can't imagine my seal of approval means shit though. I mean, who's coming here for this? Oh good. Adam said I should go see Taylor Swift. Yeah, I got that down. I noted that. You either really are a fan of this music enough to go out and see it or you're not. There's no real in and out. If you are curious as to how much of it is on Taylor as opposed to, you know, some like side stories and other people. No, this is straight up a concert movie. It's what you get. It's 99% singing with occasionally her stopping and saying, we're at the concert. It's awesome. And that's it. And that's exactly what I wanted. All right, let me know what you wanted from the movie. If you saw it, put it in the comments below. Are you excited to go see it still? Have you seen it? You a Swiftie? Where do you sit on things? Please like the video if you like the video. If you loved it here, go ahead and subscribe as I post tons of movie reviews, commentary, rants, rows, live streams, each and every week. Love to have you stick around. It's really appropriate that T Swift was doing bad blood when I was having this altercation with the woman because I felt like I was there. You know, we were having bad blood. She was my Selena Gomez. I'm Taylor Swift here. If you saw the music video, you understand. You're not a real fan.