 CHAPTER 11 PART 2 OF HILDAWADE A steamer, two steamers, three steamers sailed and still know Sebastian. I began to think he must have made up his mind to go back some other way, but Hilda was confident, so I waited patiently. At last one morning I dropped in, as I had often done before, at the office of one of the ship's steamship companies. It was the very morning when a packet was to sail. Can I see the list of passengers on the Windhalla? I asked the clerk, a sandy-haired Englishman, tall, thin and shallow. The clerk produced it. I scanned it in haste. To my surprise and delight, a penciled entry halfway down the list gave the name, Professor Sebastian. Oh, Sebastian is going by the steamer? I murmured looking up. A sandy-haired clerk hummed and hesitated. Well, I believe he is going, sir, he answered at last, but it's a bit uncertain. He submitted to me and the professor. He came down here this morning and asked to see the list the same as you have done. Then he engaged a berth provisionally. Mind provisionally, he said. That's why his name is only put in on the list in pencil. I take it he's waiting to know whether a party of friends he wishes to meet are going also. Or wishes to avoid, I thought to myself inwardly. But I did not say so. I asked instead, is he coming again? Yes, I think so at five-thirty. And she sails at seven, at seven punctually. Passengers must be aboard by half past six at latest. Very good, I answered making up my mind promptly. I only called to know the professor's movements. Don't mention to him that I came. I may look in again myself an hour or two later. You don't want a passage, sir? You may be the friend he's expecting. No, I don't want a passage, not at present certainly. Then I ventured on a bold stroke. Look here, I said leaning across towards him and assuming a confidential tone. I am a private detective, which was perfectly true in essence. And I am dogging the professor who for all his eminences greatly suspected of a great crime. If you will help me, I will make it worth your while. Let us understand one another. I offer you a five-pound note to say nothing of all this to him. The shallow clerks' fishy eyes glistened. You can depend upon me, he answered, with an acquiescent nod. I judged that he did not want to get the chance of earning some eighty rupees so easily. I scribbled a hasty note and sent it round to Hilda. Pack your boxes at once and hold yourself in readiness to embark on the Vinaya at six o'clock precisely. Then I put my own thing straight and waited at the club till quarter to six. At that time I strolled on unconcernly into the office. A cab outside held Hilda and our luggage. I had arranged it all meanwhile by letter. Professor Sebastian been here again, I asked. Yes, sir, he's been here, and he looked over the list again, and he's taken his passage. But he muttered something about eavesdroppers and said that if he wasn't satisfied when he got on board, he would return at once and ask for a cabin in exchange by the next steamer. That will do, I answered, slipping the promised five pound note into the clerk's open palm, which closed over it convulsively. Talked about eavesdroppers did he. Then he knows he's been shadowed. It may console you to learn that you are instrumental in furthering the aims of justice and unmasking a cruel and wicked conspiracy. Now the next thing is this. I want two birds at once by this very steamer, one for myself, name of Cambridge, and one for a lady, name of Wade, and look sharp about it. The sandy headman did look sharp, and within three minutes we were driving off with our tickets to Prince's dock landing stage. We slipped on board unobtrusively, and instantly took refuge in our respective staterooms till the steamer was well underway and fairly out of sight of Kullaba Island. Only after all chance of Sebastian's avoiding us was gone forever did we venture up on deck on purpose to confront him. It was one of those delicious balmy evenings which one gets only to see and in the warmer latitudes. The sky was alive with myriads of twinkling and palpitating stars which seemed to come and go like sparks on a fireback as one gazed upwards into the bar steps and tried to place them. They played hide and seek with one another and with the innumerable meteors which shot recklessly every now and again across the field of the firmament, leaving momentary furrows of light behind them. Beneath the sea sparkled almost like the sky, for every turn of the screw churned up the scintillating phosphorens in the water so that countless little yets of living fire seemed to flash and die away at the summit of every wavelet. A tall spare man in a picturesque cloak and with long, lank white hair lent over the tough rail, gazing at the numberless flashing lights of the surface. As he gazed he talked only in his clear, wrapped voice to a stranger by his side. The voice and the ring of enthusiasm were unmistakable. Oh, no! he was saying as we stole up the heineb. That hypothesis I venture to assert is no longer tenable by the light of recent researches. Death and decay have nothing to do directly with the phosphorens of the sea, though they have a little indirectly. The light is due in the main to numerous minute-living organisms, most of them Bacilli, on which I once made several close observations and crucial experiments. They possess organs which may be regarded as miniature bullseye lanterns, and these organs. What a lovely evening, Hubert, Hilda said to me in an apparently unconcerned voice as the professor reached this point in his exposition. Sebastian's voice quavered and stammered for a moment. He tried just at first to continue and complete his sentence. And these organs, he went on aimlessly. These bullseyes that I spoke about are so arranged, so arranged. I was speaking on the subject of crustaceans. I think crustaceans so arranged. Then he broke down utterly and turned sharply round to me. He did not look at Hilda. I think he did not dare, but he faced me with his head down and his long thin neck protruded, eyeing me from under those overhanging penthouse brows of his. You sneak, he cried passionately. You sneak! You have dug me by false pretenses. You have lied to bring this about. You have come aboard under a false name. You and your accomplice. I faced him in turn erect and unflinching. Professor Sebastian, I answered in my coldest and calmest tone. You say what is not true. If you consult the list of passengers by the Vindaya, now posted near the companion ladder, you will find the names of Hilda Wade and Hubert Cambridge duly entered. We took our passage after you inspected the list at the office to see whether our names were there in order to avoid us. But you cannot avoid us. We do not mean that you shall avoid us. We will dog you now through life, not by lies or subterfuge, as you say, but openly and honestly. It is you who need to slink and cower, not we. The prosecutor need not descend to the solid shifts of the criminal. The other passenger had sidled away quietly. The moment he saw our conversation was likely to be private. And I spoke in a low voice, though clearly and impressively, because I did not wish for a scene. I was only endeavoring to keep alive the slow, smoldering fire of remorse in the man's bosom. And I saw I had touched him on a spot that hurt. Sebastian drew himself up and answered nothing. For a minute or two he stood erect with folded arms, gazing moodily before him. Then he said as if to himself, I owe the man my life. He nursed me through the plague. If it had not been for that, if he had not tendered me so carefully in that valley in Nepal, I would throw him over board now, catch him in my arms and throw him over board. I would and be hanged for it. He walked past us as if he saw us not. Silent, erect moody, he dusted aside and let him pass. He never even looked at her. I knew why, he dared not. Every day now remorse for the evil part he had played in her life. Respect for the woman who had unmasked and outwitted him made it more and more impossible for Sebastian to face her. During the whole of that voyage, though he dined in the same saloon and paced the same deck, he never spoke to her, he never so much as looked at her. Once or twice their eyes met by accident and he dusted him down. Sebastian's eyelids dropped and he stole away uneasily. In public we gave no overt sign of our differences. But it was understood on board that relations were strained, that Professor Sebastian and Dr. Cambridge had been working at the same hospital in London together and that owing to some disagreement between them, Dr. Cambridge had resigned, which made it most awkward for them to be travelling together by the same steamer. We passed through the Swiss canal and down the Mediterranean. All the time Sebastian never again spoke to us. The passengers indeed held aloof from the solitary gloomy old man who strove along the quarter deck with his long slow stride absorbed in his own thoughts and intent only on avoiding Hilda and myself. His mood was unsociable as for Hilda her helpful winning ways made her a favourite with all the women as her pretty face did with all the men. For the first time in his life Sebastian seemed to be aware that he was shunned. He retired more and more within himself for company. His keen eyes began to lose in some degree its extraordinary fire, his expression to forget its magnetic attractiveness. Indeed it was only young men of scientific tastes that Sebastian could ever attract. Among them his eager seal, his single-minded devotion to the course of science awoke always a responsive chord which vibrated powerfully. Day after day passed and we steamed through the straits and neared the channel. Our thoughts began to assume a home complexion. Everybody was full of schemes as to what he would do when he reached England. Old Bradshaws were overhauled and trains looked out on the supposition that we would get in by such an hour on Tuesday. We were steaming along the French coast of the western promontory of Brittany. The evening was fine and though of course less warm than we had experienced of late the pleasant and summer light. We watched the distant cliffs of the Finisterre mainland and the numerous little islands that lie off the shore all basking in the unreal glow of a deep red sunset. The first officer was in charge a very cocksure and careless young man handsome and dark-haired the sort of young man who thought more of creating an impression upon the minds of the lady passenger than of the duties of his position. Aren't you going down to your birth? I asked of Hilda about half-pastin that night. The air is so much colder here than you have been feeling it of late that I'm afraid of your chilling yourself. She looked up at me with a smile and drew her little fluffy white woollen wrap closer about her shoulders. Am I so very valuable to you then? She asked, for I suppose my glance had been a trifle too tender for a mere acquaintances. No, thank you, Hubert. I don't think I'll go down. And if you're wise, you won't go down either. I distrust this first officer. He's a careless navigator and tonight his head's too full of that pretty Mrs. Ogleby. He has been flirting with her desperately ever since we left Bombay and tomorrow he knows he will lose her forever. His mind isn't occupied with the navigation at all. What he's thinking of is how soon his watch will be over so that he may come down off the bridge onto the quarterdeck to talk to her. Don't you see she's lurking over yonder looking up at the stars and waiting for him by the compass. Poor child. She has a bad husband and now she has let herself get too much entangled with this empty young fellow. I shall be glad for her sake to see her safely landed and out of the man's clutches. As she spoke, the first officer glanced down towards Mrs. Ogleby and held out his chronometer with an encouraging smile which seemed to say only an hour and a half more now at twelve I shall be with you. Perhaps you're right Hilda I answer taking a seat beside her and throwing away my cigar. This is one of the worst bits of the French coast that we're approaching. We're not far off a shunt. I wish the captain were on the bridge instead of this helter-skelter self-conceited young fellow. He's too cocksure. He knows so much about seamanship that he could take a ship through any rocks on his course, blindfold, in his own opinion. I always doubt a man who is so much at home in his subject that he never has to think about it. Most things in this world are done by thinking. We can't see the ocean light, Hilda remarked looking ahead. No, there's a little haze about on the horizon, I fancy. See, the stars are fading away. It begins to feel damp. See mist in the channel. Hilda sat uneasily in her deck chair. That's bad, she answered. For the first officer is taking no more heed of Ooshan than of his latter end. He has forgotten the existence of the Breton coast. That is just stuffed with Mrs. Ogilvy's eyelashes. Very pretty long eyelashes too. I don't deny it. But they won't help him to get through the narrow channel. They say it's dangerous. Dangerous, I answered. Not a bit of it with reasonable care. Nothing at sea is dangerous except the inexplicable recklessness of navigators. There's always plenty of sea room if they care to take it. But there's a lot of dangerous and icebergs to be sure are dangerous that can't be avoided at times, especially if there's fog about. But I've been enough at sea in my time to know this much at least, that no coast in the world is dangerous except by dint of reckless corner cutting. Captains of great ships behave exactly like two handsome drivers in the streets of London. They think they can just shape past nine times out of ten. The tenth time they run on the rocks through sheer recklessness and lose their vessel. And then the newspapers always ask the same solemn question. In childish good faith how did so experienced and able a navigator come to make such a mistake in his reckoning? He made no mistake. He simply tried to cut it fine too fine for once with the result that he usually loses his own life and his passengers. That's all. We who have been at sea understand that perfectly. Just at that moment another passengers trolled up and joined us, a Bengal civil servant. He drew his chair over by Hilda's and began discussing Mrs. Ogilvy's eyes and the first officer's flirtations. Hilda hated gossip and took refuge in generalities. In three minutes the talk had wandered off to Ibsen's influence on the English drama and we had forgotten the very existence of the Isle of Usant. The English public will never understand Ibsen, the newcomer said reflectively, with the omniscient air of the Indian civilian. He is too purely Scandinavian. He represents that part of the continental mind which is farthest removed from the English temperament. To him, respectability, our God is not only no fetish, it is the unspeakable thing, the Moabitish abomination. He will not bow down to the golden image which our British Nebuchadnezzar King Deimos has made and which he asked us to worship. And the British Nebuchadnezzar will never get beyond the worship of his Vishnu. Respectability, of the pure and blameless rate-pair. So Ibsen must always remain a seal-book to the vast majority of the English people. That is true, he answered, as to his direct influence. But don't you think indirectly he is living in England? A man so folly out of tune with a prevailing note of English life could only affect it, of course, by means of disciples and popularizers. Often even popularizers who but dimly and distantly apprehend his meaning. He must be interpreted to the English by English intermediaries, half Philistine themselves who speak his language ill and who miss the greater part of his message. Yet only by such half-ins. Why? What was that? I think I saw something. Even as she uttered the words, a terrible jar ran fiercely through the ship from stem to stern, a jar that made one clench one's teeth and hold once yours tight, the jar of a prow that shattered against a rock. I took it all in at a glance. We had forgotten Usan, but Usan had not forgotten us. It had revenged itself upon us by revealing its existence. In a moment all was turmoil and confusion on deck. I cannot describe the scene that followed. Sailors rushed to and fro unfastening ropes and lowering boats with admirable discipline. Women shrieked and cried aloud in helpless terror. The voice of the first officer could be heard about the din endeavoring to atone by courage and coolness in the actual disaster for its recklessness in coursing it. Passengers rushed on deck half-clad and waited for their turn to take places in the boats. It was a time of terror, turmoil, and hubbub. But in the midst of it all, Hilda turned to me with infinite calm in her voice. Where is Sebastian? She asked in a perfectly collected tone. Whatever happens, we must not lose sight of him. I'm here. Another voice equally calm responded beside it. You are a brave woman. Whether I sink or swim, your steadfastness of purpose. It was the only time he had addressed a word to word during the entire voyage. They put the women and children into the first boats lowered. Mothers and little ones went first. Single women and widows after. No, Miss Wade, the first officer said taking her gently by the shoulders when her turn arrived. Make haste, don't keep us waiting. But Hilda held back. No, no, she said firmly. I won't go yet. I'm waiting for the men's boat. I must not leave Professor Sebastian. The first officer shrugged his shoulders. There was no time for protest. Next then, he said quickly, Miss Martin, Miss Weathering, Sebastian took her hand and tried to force her in. You must go, he said in a low persuasive tone. You must not wait for me. He hated to see her, I knew. But I imagined in his voice for I noted it even then there rang some undertone of genuine desire to save her. Hilda loosened his grasp resolutely. No, no, she answered. I cannot fly. I shall never leave you. Not even if I promise. She shook her head and closed her lips hard. Certainly not, she said again after a pause. I cannot trust you. I must stop by your side and do my best to save you. Your life is all in all to me. I dare not risk it. His case was now pure admiration. As you will, he answered, for he that looseth his life shall gain it. If ever we land alive, Hilda answered glowing red in spite of the danger. I shall remind you of that word. I shall call upon you to fulfill it. The boat was lowered and still he lusted by my side. One second later another shock shook us. The Vindaya parted the midships and we found ourselves struggling and choking in the cold seawater. It was a miracle that every soul of us was not drowned that moment as many of us were. The swirling eddy which followed as the Vindaya sank swamped two of the boats and carried down not a few of those boats. The last I saw the first officer was a writhing form world about in the water. Before he sank he shouted aloud with a seamen's frank courage. Say it was all my fault. I accept the responsibility. I ran her too close. I'm the only one to blame for it. Then he disappeared in the whirlpool caused by the sinking ship and we were left still struggling. One of the life rafts hastily rigged by the sailors floated our way. Hilda struck out a stroke or two and caught it. She dragged herself on to it and beckoned me to follow. I could see she was holding on to something tightly. I struck out in turn and reached the raft which was composed of two seats fastened together in haste at the first note of danger. I hauled myself up by Hilda's side. I pulled him aboard. She cried in an agonized voice. I'm afraid he has lost consciousness. Then I looked at the object she was clutching in her hands. It was Sebastian's white head apparently quite lifeless. I pulled him up with her and laid him out on the raft. A very faint breeze from the southwest had sprung up. That and a strong seaward current that sets round the rocks carrying us straight out from the Breton coast and all chance of rescue towards the open channel. But Hilda thought nothing of such physical danger. We have saved him, you bet! She cried, clasping her hands. We have saved him. But do you think he is alive? For unless he is, my chance, our chance is gone forever. I bent over and felt his pulse. As far as I could make out it still beat feebly. End of chapter 11, part 2 read by Lars Rolander. Chapter 12 of Hilda Wade This LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org reading by Lars Rolander. Hilda Wade A Woman with Tenacity of Purpose by Grant Allen Chapter 12 The Episode of the Dead Man Who Spoke I will not trouble you with details of those three terrible days and nights when we drifted helplessly about at the mercy of the currents on our improvised life raft up and down the English Channel. The first night was the worst. Slowly after that we grew used to the danger the cold, the hunger and the thirst. Our senses were numbed. We passed whole hours together in a sort of torpor just vaguely wondering whether a ship would come in sight to save us obeying the merciful law that those who are utterly exhausted are incapable of acute fear and appeasing our own. But however slender the chance and as the hour stole on it seemed slender enough Hilda still kept her hopes fixed mainly on Sebastian. No daughter could have watched the father she loved more eagerly and closely than Hilda watched her lifelong enemy the man who had wrought such evil upon her and hers to save our own lives without him would be useless she must keep him alive on the bare chance of a rescue if he died there died with him the last hope of justice and redress as for Sebastian after the first half hour during which she lay white and unconscious he opened his eyes faintly as we could see by the moonlight and gazed around him with a strange puzzle state of inquiry then his senses returned by degrees What you cumbulage he murmured measuring me with his eye and you nurse wait well I thought you would manage it there was a tone almost of amusement in his voice a half ironical tone which had been familiar to us in the old hospital days he raised himself on one arm and gazed at the water all round then he was silent for some minutes at last he spoke again Do you know what I ought to do if I were consistent he asked for the tinge of heart of sin is wise jump off this raft and deprive you of your last chance of triumph the triumph which you are works for so hard you want to save my life for your own ends not for mine why should I help you to my own undoing Hilda's voice was tenderer and softer than usual as she answered No, not for my own ends alone and not for your undoing but to give you one last chance of unburdening your conscience some men are too small to be capable of remorse their little souls have no room for such a feeling you are great enough to feel it and to try to crush it down but you cannot crush it down it crops up in spite of you you have tried to bury it in your soul and you have failed it is your remorse that has driven you to make so many attempts against the only living souls who knew and understood if ever we get safely once more and God knows it is not likely I give you still the chance of repairing the mischief you have done and of clearing my father's memory from the cruel stain which you and only you can wipe away Sebastian lay long silent once more gazing up at her fixedly with a foggy white moonlight shining upon his bright inscrutable eyes you are a brave woman Macy York Panaman he said at last slowly a very brave woman I will try to live I too for a purpose of my own I say it again he that lucid his life shall gain it incredible as it may sound in half an hour more he was lying fast asleep on that wave toast draft and Hilda and I were watching him tenderly and it seemed to us as we watched him that a change have come over those stern and impassive features they had softened and melted until his face was that of a gentler and better type it was as if some inward change of soul the fierce old professor into a nobler and more venerable man day after day we drifted on without food or water the agony was terrible I will not attempt to describe it for to do so is to bring it back too clearly to my memory Hilda and I being younger and stronger wore up against it well but Sebastian worn and still weak from the plague drew daily weaker his pulse just beat and sometimes I could hardly feel it thrill under my finger he became delirious and murmured much about York Bannerman's daughter sometimes he forgot all and spoke to me in the friendly terms of our old acquaintance at Nathaniel's giving me directions and advice about imaginary operations hour after hour we watched for a sail and no sail appeared one could hardly believe we could toss about so long in the main highway of traffic without seeing a ship or spying more than the smoke trail of some passing steamer as far as I could judge during those days and nights the wind veered from southwest to southeast and carried us steadily and surely the open Atlantic on the third evening out about five o'clock I saw a dark object on the horizon was it moving towards us we strained our eyes in breathless suspense a minute passed and then another yes there could be no doubt it grew larger and larger it was a ship a steamer we made all the signs of distress we could manage I stood up and weighed Hilda's white shawl frantically in the air there was half an hour of suspense and our hearts sank as we thought that they were about to pass us then the steamer hooved too a little and seemed to notice us next instant we dropped upon our knees for we saw they were lowering a boat they were coming to our aid they would be in time to save us Hilda watched our rescuers with parted lips and agonized eyes then she felt Sebastian's pulse thank heaven she cried he still lives they will be here before he's quite past confession Sebastian opened his eyes dreamily about he asked yes about then you have gained your point child I am able to collect myself give me a few hours more life and what I can do to make amends to you shall be done I don't know why but it seemed longer between the time when the boat was lowered and the moment when it reached us then it had seemed during the three days and nights we lay tossing about helplessly on the open Atlantic there were times when we could hardly really moving at last however it reached us and we saw the kindly faces and outstretched hands of our rescuers Hilda clung to Sebastian with a wild clasp as the men reached out for her no take him first she cried when the sailors after the custom of men tried to help her into the jig before attempting to save us his life is worth more to me than my own take him and for God's sake lift him gently for he is nearly gone they took him aboard and laid him down in the stern then and then only Hilda stepped into the boat and I staggered after her the officer in charge a kind young Irishman had had the foresight to bring brandy and a little beef essence we ate and drank what we dared as they rode us back to the steamer Sebastian laid back with his white eyelashes closed over the lids and the livid dew of death upon his emaciated cheeks but he drank a teaspoon full or two of brandy and swallowed the beef essence with which Hilda fed him your father is the most exhausted of the party the officer said in a low undertone poor fellow he is too old for such adventures there is a mark of life left in him Hilda shuddered with evident horror he is not my father thank heaven she cried leaning over him and supporting his drooping head in spite of her own fatigue and the cold that chilled our very bones but I think he will live I mean him to live he is my best friend now and my bitterest enemy the officer looked at her in surprise and touched his forehead inquiringly with a quick glance at me he evidently thought cold and hunger had affected her reason I shook my head it is a peculiar case I whispered what the lady says is right everything depends for us upon keeping him alive till we reach England they rode us to the boat and we were handed tenderly up the side there the ships certain ships on board did their best to restore us after our terrible experience the ship was the don of the royal male steamship companies West Indian line and nothing could exceed the kindness with which we were treated by every soul on board from the captain to the stewardess and the junior cabin boy Sebastian's great name carried weight even here as soon as it was generally understood by the famous physiologist and pathologist the man whose name was famous throughout Europe we might have asked for anything that the ship contained without fear of a refusal but indeed held a sweet face was enough in itself to win the interest and sympathy of all who saw it by eleven next morning we were off Plymouth sound and by midday we had landed at the meal bay docks on the way to a comfortable hotel in the neighborhood Hilda was too good a nurse to bother Sebastian at once about his implied promise she had him put to bed and kept him there carefully what do you think of his condition she asked me after the second day was over I could see by her own grave face that she had already formed her own conclusions he cannot recover he was very upset his constitution shattered by the plague and by his incessant exertions has received too severe a shock in this shipwreck he is doomed so I think the change is but temporary he will not last out three days more I fancy he has rallied wonderfully today I said but is a passing rally a flicker no more if you wish to do anything now is the moment too late I will go in and see him Hilda answered I have said nothing more to him but I think he's moved I think he means to keep his promise he has shown a strange tenderness to me these last few days I almost believe he's at last remorseful and ready to undo the evil which he has done she stole softly into the sick room I followed her on tiptoe and stood near the door behind the screen which shut off the draft from the patient Sebastian stretched his arms out to her ah, Macy my child he cried addressing her by the name she had born in her childhood both were her own don't leave me anymore stay with me always Macy I can't get on without you but you hated ones to see me because I have so wronged you and now will you do nothing to repair the wrong my child I can never undo that wrong it is irreparable for the past can never be recalled but I will try my best to minimize it call Comberledge in I am quite sensible now quite conscious you will be my witness Comberledge that my pulse is normal and that my brain is clear I will confess it all Macy your constancy and your firmness have conquered me and your devotion to your father if only I had had a daughter like you my girl one who might could have loved and trusted I might have been a better man I might even have done science though on that side at least I have little with which to reproach myself Hilda bent over him Hubert and I are here she said slowly in a strangely calm voice but that is not enough I want a public and a tested confession it must be given before witnesses and sign and sworn to somebody might throw doubt my word and Hubert's Sebastian shrank back given before witnesses and signed and sworn to Macy is this humiliation necessary do you exact it Hilda was inexorable you know yourself how you are situated you have only a day or two to live she said in an impressive voice you must do it at once or never you have postponed it all your life now at this last moment you must make up for it will you die with an act of injustice unconfessed on your conscience he paused and struggled I could if it were not for you he answered then do it for me Hilda cried do it for me I ask it of you not as a favor but as a right I demand it a white stern inexorable by his couch and laid her hand upon his shoulder he paused once more then he murmured feebly in a querulous tone what witnesses whom do you wish to be present Hilda spoke clearly and distinctly she had thought it all out with herself beforehand such witnesses as will carry absolute conviction to the mind of all the world disinterested witnesses official witnesses in the first place a commissioner of oaths then a Plymouth doctor to show that you are in a fit state of mind to make a confession next Mr. Horace Mayfield who defended my father lastly Dr. Blake Crawford who watched the case on your behalf at the trial but Hilda I interposed we may possibly find that they cannot come away from London just now they are busy men and likely to be engaged they will come if I pay their fees I do not mind how much this costs me what is money compared to this one great object of my life and then the delay supposed that we are too late he will live some days yet I can telegraph up at once I want no whole and corner confession which may afterwards be useless but an open a vowel before the most approved witnesses if he will make it well and good if not my life work will have failed but I had rather it fail than draw back one inch from the course which I have laid down for myself I looked at the worn face of Sebastian he nodded his head slowly she has conquered he answered turning upon the pillow later have her own way I hid it for years for science sake that was my motive and I am too near death to lie science has now nothing more to gain or lose by me I have served her well but I am worn out in her service may see may do as she will I accept her ultimatum we telegraphed up at once fortunately both men were disengaged and both keenly interested in the case by that evening Horace Mayfield was talking it all over with me in the hotel at Southampton well you with my boy he said a woman we know can do a great deal he smiled his familiar smile like a genie fat toad but if your joke panaman succeeds in getting a confession out of Sebastian he paused a moment then he added in an afterthought I say that she'll extort my admiration but mind you I don't know that I shall feel inclined to believe it the facts have always appeared to me strictly between ourselves you know to admit of only one explanation wait and see I answered you think it more likely that Miss Wade will have persuaded Sebastian to confess to things that never happened than that he will convince you of joke panaman's innocence the great QC fingered his cigarette holder affectionately you heated the first time he answered that is precisely my attitude the evidence against our poor friend was so peculiarly black it would take a great deal to make me disbelieve it but surely the confession let me hear the confession and then I shall be better able to judge even as he spoke Hilda had entered the room there will be no difficulty about that Mr Mayfield you shall hear it and I trust that it will make you repent for taking so black a view of the case of your own client with our prejudice Miss Panaman with our prejudice said the lawyer some confusion our conversation is entirely between ourselves and to the world I have always upheld that your father was an innocent man but such distinctions are too subtle for a loving woman he was an innocent man she said angrily it was your business not only to believe it but to prove it you have neither believed it nor proved it but if you will affairs with me I will show you that I have done both Mayfield glanced at me and shrugged his fat shoulders Hilda had led the way and we both followed her in the room of the sick man our other witnesses were waiting a tall dark austere man who was introduced to me as Dr Blake Crawford whose name I had heard as having watched the case for Sebastian at the time of the investigation there were present also a commissioner of ours and Dr Mayby a small local practitioner whose attitude towards the great scientist was almost absurdly reverential the three men were grouped at the foot of the bed and Mayfield and I joined them Hilda stood beside the dying man and rearranged the pillow against which he was propped then she held some brandy to his lips now said she the stimulant a shade of color into his costly cheeks and the old quick intelligent gleam came back into his deep sunk eyes remarkable woman gentlemen said he a very noteworthy woman I had prided myself that my will power was the most powerful in the country I had never met any to match it but I do not mind that for firmness and tenacity this lady is my equal she was anxious that I should adopt one course of action I was determined to adopt another your presence here is a proof that she has prevailed he paused for breath and she gave him another small sip of the brandy I execute her will ungrudgingly and with conviction that it is the right and proper course for me to take he continued you will forgive me some of the ill which I have done you may see when I tell you that I really died this morning all unknown to come village and you and that nothing but my will force has suffice to keep spirit and body together until your will in the manner which you suggested I shall be glad when I have finished for the effort is a painful one and I long for the piece of dissolution it is now a quarter to seven I have every hope that I may be able to leave before eight it was strange to hear the perfect coolness with which he discussed his own searching dissolution calm pale and impassive his manner was that of a professor addressing his class I had seen him speak so to a ring of dressers in the old days at Nathaniel's the circumstances which led up to the death of Admiral Scott Predor and the suspicions which caused the arrest of Dr. George Bannerman have never yet been fully explained although they were by no means so profound that they might not have been unraveled at the time had a man of intellect concentrated his attention upon them the police however were incompetent and the legal advisors of Dr. Bannerman hardly less so and a woman only has had the wit to see that a gross injustice has been done the true facts I will now lay before you Mayfield's broad face had threatened with indignation but now his curiosity drew out every other emotion and he leaned forward with the rest of us to hear the old man's story in the first place I must tell you that both Dr. Bannerman and myself were engaged at the time in an investigation upon the nature and properties of the vegetable alloys and especially of aconitin we hoped for the very greatest results from this drug and we were both equally enthusiastic in our research especially we had reasons to believe that it might have a most successful action in the case of a certain rare but deadly disease into the nature of which I need not enter reasoning the analogy we were convinced that we had a certain cure for this particular ailment our investigation however was somewhat hampered by the fact that the condition in question is rare out of tropical countries and that in our hospital wards we had not at that time any example of it so serious was this obstacle that it seemed that we must other men more favorably situated to reap the benefit of our work and enjoy the credit of our discovery but a curious chance gave us exactly what we were in search of at the instant when we were about to despair it was York Bannerman who came to me in my laboratory one day to tell me that he had in his private practice the very condition of which we were in search the patient said he is my uncle Admiral Scott Predor your uncle I cried in amazement but how came he to develop such a condition his last commission in the navy was spent upon the Malabar coast where the disease is endemic there can be no doubt that it has been latent in his system ever since and that the irritability of temper and indecision of character of which his family have so often had to complain were really among the symptoms of his complaint I examined the admiral in consultation with my colleague and I confirmed his diagnosis but to my surprise York Bannerman showed the most invincible and reprehensible objection to experiment upon his relative in vain I assured him that he must place his duty to science high above all other considerations it was only after great pressure that I could persuade him to add an infinitesimal portion of aconitine to his prescriptions the drug was a deadly one he said and the toxic dose was still to be determined he could not push it in the case of a relative who trusted himself to his care I tried to shake him in what I regarded as his absurd squeamishness but in vain but I had another resource Bannerman's prescriptions were made up by a fellow named Barclay who had been dispenser at Nathaniel's and afterwards set up as a chemist in Sackwell street this man was absolutely in my power I had discovered him at Nathaniel's in dishonest practices and I held evidence which would have sent him to jail I held this over him now and I made him unknown to Bannerman increase the doses of aconitine in the medicine until they were sufficient for my experimental purposes I will not enter into figures but suffice it that Bannerman was giving him more than ten times what he imagined you know the sequel I was called in and suddenly found that I had Bannerman in my power there had been a very keen rivalry between us in science he was the only man in England whose career might impinge upon mine I had this supreme chance of putting him out of my way he could not deny that he had been giving his uncle aconitine I could prove that his uncle had died of aconitine he could not himself account for the facts he was absolutely in my power I did not wish him to be condemned Macy I only hoped that he would leave the court his credit and ruin I give you my word that my evidence would have saved him from the scaffold Hilda was listening with a set proceed said she and held out the brandy once more I did not give the admiral any more aconitine after I had taken over the case but what was already in his system was enough it was evident that we had seriously underestimated the lethal dose as to your father Macy you have done me an injustice you have always thought that I killed him proceed said she I speak now from the brink of the grave and I tell you that I did not his heart was always weak and it broke down under the strain indirectly I was the cause I do not seek to excuse anything but it was the sorrow and the shame that killed him as to Barkley the chemist that is another matter I will not deny that I was concerned that mysterious disappearance which was a 7 days wonder in the press I could not permit my scientific calm to be interrupted by the blackmailing visits of so insignificant a person and then after many years you came Macy you also got between me and that work which was life to me you also showed that you would rake up this old matter and bring dishonor upon a name which has stood for something in science you also but you will forgive me I have held on to life for your sake as an atonement for my sins now I go Cambridge your notebook subjective sensation swimming in the head light flashes before the eyes soothing torpor some touch of coldness constriction of the temples humming in the ears a sense of sinking sinking sinking it was an hour later and he and I were alone in the chamber of death as Sebastian lay there a marble figure with his keen eyes closed and his pinched thin face whiter and serene than ever I could not help gazing at him with some pangs of recollection I could not avoid recalling the time when his very name to me a word of power and when the thought of him roused on my cheek a red flush of enthousias as I looked on murmured two lines from Browning's grammarians funeral this is our master famous calm and dead born on our shoulders Hilda Wade standing beside me with an abstract air added a stanza from the same great poem lofty designs must close in like effects loftily lying leave him still loftier than the world suspects living and dying I gazed at her with admiration and it is you Hilda who pay him this generous tribute I cried you of all women yes it is I she answered he was a great man but not good but great and greatness by itself extorts our unwilling homage Hilda I cried you are a great woman and a good woman too it makes me proud to think you will soon be my wife for there is now no longer any just cause or impediment beside the dead master she laid her hands solemnly and calmly in mine no impediment she answered I have vindicated and cleared my father's memory and now I can live actual life comes next we have much to do you but end of chapter 12 and end of the book of Hilda Wade by Grant Allen read by Lars Rolander thank you for listening and for more exciting books go to LibriVox.org