 Hello, and welcome to Escorto, episode 232! Season 5, probably. Today, we are saying how to ruin a brand-new kitchen. Starting greasy. I'm checking on it. Ah, a cup of tea! Why does this grape juice taste good? Even cheers, that's fine. It's gonna taste better once you cheers. Why do people drink wine? That doesn't taste good at all, when I can just drink. I like how it tastes good. Does it taste better than grape juice? No, but just grape juice. Get you tipsy. Maybe you got the right kind of grape juice. What kind of grape juice? That's not why you get tipsy tipsy. Purple drink? Well, there you go. Alright, I'm drinking the wrong thing. Here's the plan. Breezy has chosen, or been chosen, to choose the ingredients for today's meal. And she chose to make chicken fettuccine alfredo. Absolutely not. Okay. Try it. Lizani, I was listening. Chicken parm! So this is all of our ingredients? Yeah, we have a lot of ingredients. We have a lot of ingredients. I think it's really cool. Yeah, it was from Algarve. Yeah, it's really heavy. First of all, do you know how to open cans? No. Oh, your thumb is broken. I'm disabled and that was offensive. Okay. Wait, we have to try this thing. Okay, yeah. So we also found Melissa White's melons. What was it called? Yeah, it was Melissa, like, Melissa's bitter melon or something. Yeah. Stroke's history. This looks gross. So we bought them. And we don't know if we're supposed to cook them or eat them. Do you want to try it? Wash it. Why don't you wash it? Yeah, but it's, what if you get, you know, pesticides or whatever. That's better. No, but it's really gross. Really? Try it. Oh, God. It's that bad. I was going to try and eat it. It gets worse the more you chew it. Yeah, I chew it again and it got, like, twice as bad. That's so bad. Do you know how to cut onions? Yeah. Do you know that they make you cry? Do you have any goggles? I've never cried. You've never cried in your life? So it's very simple. When you're cutting onions, she doesn't even know how to use a knife. Do you want to use it sliced or diced? Well, it's half the onion. We paid for, we paid by the pound. Easily one or two. Chad, you never wash your hands when cooking. Actually, that day, it just adds to the flavor. It builds your immune system. Well, it also adds to the flavor, but he doesn't know that because he's just a chef in training right now. And a former doctor. As you can see, she says she would have done it the wrong way. That's okay because she's learning. That's one of the things that happens here on this channel, Chad, education. Onions are like ogres. They have layers. And the thing is, you want to separate the layers and then you want to chop. And then what happens is once you start chopping, is you end up having a bunch of little mini ogres running around. And that is how big these are made. It's quite simple, really. If you cut it the other way first, this way it's not quite as good. Yeah? Wait, isn't this? This is a drizzle. It's not a drizzle. It is, it is, it is. No. It's because you don't know how to spray it properly. Well, okay. Is this really like... Yeah, drizzle. Drizzle. Just a little bit. How much? Wait, hold on. Should I heat it up? Man, especially because I'm going to have the recipe. Okay. We have sauce. We have paste. Can I smell it? What year do you think that was? You want to waft. So you don't burn the nostrils. Um, I would say this is a 2002. That's, I mean, that's a good year. It is a good year. It's a good year for tomato sauce. So do I just pour it in? No, no, no, no, no. No, sorry, sorry. I just handed it to you to inspect. What do I do with it? Right now we're just softening the onions in here, which by the way, they're not cut very well, but that's okay. Well, you'll do better next time. It's so bad. Why does anybody do this? There's a 0% chance anybody enjoys this. Because I'm, look, what I want. Stream, but then there are tons of people here. So I don't know. You would be right if you said that about my stream. Well, that's just a little bit, Tony's. So I just dump it. Yeah, but don't put the whole thing. We'll, we'll like, we're gonna, it's good enough. Oh, frick. So we have sauce and paste. Yeah. So paste, this is like thicker so it can add, it can be added as like thickening agent. Okay. Ready? And then this, yeah. So half? Yeah. And put one of these in there. Okay. You have to probably get it out with a little. Can I just? Here, no. Just get a spoon. Samore. Wow, look, look at this sauce. This is a good sauce. But you know what? It doesn't have any, what? It's gonna be a good sauce. Yeah, it's gonna be a good sauce. Yeah, 100%. What? That's some great drink. Can I try it? What does that taste like? So you have to just be aggressive with it and attack it. Yeah. Because if you're scared of it, then it's gonna just keep going. But if you stop it and you're like, hey, I'm moving it so that with the air release. I need extra lactose. I'm lactose free. I'm lactose insensitive. Lactose is a bitch. That's why I got to take it out. Risk gamer? Yeah. FPS games? It's because I'm an MMO gamer. I know. This is just like every stream I've ever on, okay? I'm always doing all the tech. I'm doing all the everything. Okay. So I put this inside of this, right? Yes. You put the mommy inside the baby. Okay. Open up, lady. He's not done yet. Okay? You just want to get it nice. Yeah, yeah. I see what you're saying. Nice and coated. It's just a streaming backpack. It's just bread. Oh, Fred. I got bread. Like we're mixing chicken and egg together. That's why I said put the, dip the mommy and the baby. Oh. That's why I said that. Heat one inch of olive oil over medium high heat. One inch? Yeah, one inch. It's like. Yeah, it needs to cover. It's because it needs to cover this. What? One inch of olive oil? Yeah. Do we have a ruler? I trust you to know what one inch looks like. You look, never mind. What? I'm not gonna say no more. That's gotta be one inch. No, that's. At least. That's like a quarter of an inch. That's at least an inch. That's a quarter of an inch. Do we flip it? For three minutes. Do we bow them at the same time? Okay. This is disgusting. I don't know why I'm still eating it. Yeah, why are you still eating it? I don't know. It's not good. Yeah. That's been, it's not even been closed. It's been open for six months. Really? Yeah. It's been open though. They're all mixes. Yeah, they're all mixes. So do I flip it? Are you sure? Yeah. It's boiling. I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all day. There's snacks galore. Oh, there's snacks. There's snacks on this. Oh, God, you did. Oh, God, you did. It's so gross. See chat? This is where we're at so far. Yeah, yeah, that looks. Mm-hmm. Okay. So, but now we have to put the cheese on it. This is so much cheese. This feels like an excessive amount of cheese. How much cheese is too much cheese? Ooh. If you use like a little bit more, but I'm going to put more mozzarella on top anyway. Shh. So you might want to boil that. Yeah, like over here. Okay, now that begs. All right. Yeah. 30 minutes. So now what? Oh, pasta. Yeah, pasta. We didn't make the pasta. Chat, we didn't make pasta. Well, it's okay because pasta tastes like... Wait, really? So what kind of pasta is this? Is this feta cheese? Feta cheese. Feta cheese. Okay. It's feta cheese. All right. Zoom. Okay. When the moon hits you, I like a piece of pie that's summer. I'm sorry, can you hold it? Or put the pork in the pasta? No. This works. Okay. If I'm able to flip this pasta. Okay. And you have a twitch prime. I know you guys have twitch primes. You're sitting on them. You forgot you even have them. Okay. You might as well use them on somebody. Why not here? Okay. If and only if I'm able to flip the pasta properly. Oh my gosh. We're going to lose all of our pasta. One. Five second rule. Five second rule. Five second rule. Five second rule. Five second rule. This is gigantic. This is like really gigantic. Oh, frick. That's really... Oh look, it's like a... Oh my gosh. It's like a pizza commercial. I think it looks good. Yeah. I'm like it's got its own like. Mission accomplished. Yeah, I think this is good. I think it's really good. Yeah. Okay. Taste test, chat. Now we have to see. So this is chicken parmesan with mozzarella for some reason. Oh, the chicken is very tough and hard to cut. Very good. Does this look clean or cooked? You didn't get... Oh, you have to get some of the sauce and like the cheese. Yeah. Chat, once again I have impressed the world of my culinary expertise. And I hope you guys learned something today. We've been snacking. Snacks. I'm going to eat the rest tomorrow. What are you eating? This is... If you eat the same amount that you ate today, that's for each meal, that's going to be like for a week. And I'll eat it... Yeah, I'll eat it over the course of the next week. I don't know. I'm going to eat more. I'm just not going to eat more today. Don't eat too much. Have you learned something today? Yeah. And chat, I'm glad you learned something today as well. The way that you beat the eggs, that was really good. So that... You know why I could do this, are you? Why? Because I used to be from Hawaii. And I'm a shocker. You used to be from Hawaii? Yeah. You're not from Hawaii anymore? No. Well I played a character that was from Hawaii. Can you just eat pasta? What? So is the only thing that is like... It's crunchy. Yeah, is the only thing like with undercooked or overcooked pasta? It doesn't even matter. It's just like... No, it doesn't. It's just personal preference. Okay. What do you think is like chicken? Or are you like... Yeah, what if you get sick? I don't know. I don't think I'm going to get sick from this. But I understand like... No. You're like it's overcooked? Then you get diarrhea. No. What? I don't know.