 The craft foods company makers of craft quality foods presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the craft foods company makers of the one and only miracle whip salad dressing Here's a salad dressing that's different Delightfully different from any other dressing you've ever tasted not too sharp not too bland Miracle whip has a peppy goodness that millions say is just exactly right Enjoy miracle whip tomorrow even the simplest salad will bring you compliments when it's made with miracle whip What's doing at the Great Gilder Sleeve house? Late last night Marjorie and Bronco came home from their honeymoon to again complete the little family circle Well, I'm glad they're home. I hope they like a little apartment upstairs. They are too. Mr. Guilds leave you sure fix it up Yeah, but it cramps Elmer's style you're a turtle Leroy Yeah, he doesn't have the run of the upstairs like he used to I think it's got him worried a turtle with claustrophobia Come on Leroy. Let's go work in the yard for a little while. I go into the office Miss Kilsie. Oh, Bernie I thought I'd wait around on Marjorie and Bronco came down I didn't get a chance to talk to him much last night. No, sir. Oh, dude All I can say is Marjorie darling Bronco darling Marjorie darling Bronco darling They're worse than before they were married How do you know I thought that mushy stuff stopped after the honeymoon If I know them too, they'll be on a honeymoon for years and years. Yeah, I hope so come along Leroy Let's see now. We might burn the rubbish for birdie Yeah, pretty big. All right, I'll show you how to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. Oh, well go ahead my boy little boy scout Leroy you're rubbing two matches together Oh brother a junior Milton burrow There she goes Yeah, pretty damp. It's gonna smoke a lot. The breeze will keep it going Smoke screen blowing right across the street to Bullard's house and the bedroom windows are open Wonder if Bullard's up. He will be Hey, how about tossing this old rubber tire on the fire? No We can't help it the breeze blows the smoke over there. That's mother nature at work Maybe this wasn't a good idea Leroy. Bullard will think I'm doing it on purpose So what he doesn't like you and you don't like him Isn't that we don't like each other we just don't get along Wouldn't surprise me if he comes over here and tries to start something Here he comes No, Leroy will stand our ground. It's ours. He'll just leave what are you up to now? Mr. Bullard. Good morning. Nice morning, isn't it? I don't know. I can't see it for the smoke Smoke huh? Oh, it is a little smoky isn't it? You'll just leave haven't you any consideration for other people? Oh, yes It was out of consideration for you, Mr. Bullard that we didn't burn this rubber tire Well, thank heaven for that Gilder sleeve how in the lottery of life did I draw you for a neighbor? Well, let's see. I came here tonight No, see here board. I might ask you the very same thing You just waited until the wind was right to burn rubbish. No, I did yes, you dare You keep out of this little eye No, I didn't well whether you did it on purpose or not. It was a stupid thing to do. Oh careful Whom you call stupid? I'm a public official. I'm the Water Commission gilder sleeve if you fool with me I'll buy the water department and cut off your water That did it Leroy burn the tire No, thanks Marjorie Leroy and I have eaten I can eat again Leroy Leave something for Marjorie and Broncos Leroy's like me. He can always eat past the toast Marge darling here darling You see out there still And mr. Gillers leave what was all the noise out in the backyard noise was just exchanging pleasantries with a neighbor Well, what do you love birds gonna do today? Oh, I have a million things to do unpack shampoo my hair So I want some buttons for Bronco. Yeah, I'm going to work right after breakfast Pass the jam Marge darling, of course dear. Oh brother Are you going over to your father's little bookstore to start right in Bronco? No, sir I'm not depending on my father. Will you pass the bacon again, mr. Geller sleeve? Yeah. Oh, yeah bacon Thanks, remember what I've always said my boy. I can find a place for you in our water department Oh, thanks, mr. Geller sleeve, but I'm not sponging off you. Will you pass the eggs again, please? Have either Well, what do you plan to do Bronco anything in particular? Tell him your plan darling. Yeah, what is your plan darling? I mean Bronco. Hey Bronco, why don't you go to Idaho and dig potatoes potatoes sure the government pays good money for Okay Well, I've got big plans mr. Kilda sleeve because I have the most wonderful wife in the world to support haven't I Marge honey? Oh Bronco Isn't he wonderful auntie? Oh, yes, but how are you wonderful people gonna live? Mr. Gilder sleeve. I have a briefcase You have and in it. There's a real estate license. He's going to sell real estate real estate, eh? Well, I admire your spunk Bronco, but not wanting to depend on me or your father Well, sponk is what I've got plenty of sponk and drive and ability and ability But Bronco, don't you think real estate is a little um crowded Mr. Gilder sleeve the way I see it the whole world is waiting to be sold. Oh, there's always room at the top What are you gonna sell a north pole? Please Leroy don't snipe at a young man starting his career Oh, that's all right, mr. Gilder sleeve. Nothing can stop me. I'm starting out to ring doorbells right after breakfast Uh more bacon Marge. Well, there isn't any more darling. Oh, well, I'm starting right now Goodbye Marge darling. Goodbye. Be sure to wear your coat. It's chilly out. That boy doesn't need a coat. He's a ball of fire Oh, good morning, mr. Bullard. I'm Bronco Thompson. Mr. Gilder sleeve son-in-law. Yes. Yes. I know you seem nervous lad Well, you're my first customer I am Mr. Bullard, I'm in the real estate business Can I list your house for sale a young man? This house is not for sale Oh, well, I thought I'd ask you first. I'm starting at the bottom, you know Yes Well, good day, mr. Bullard. I'll try some of the other neighbors a good idea. Oh, oh, uh, Thompson Oh, yes, sir. I just had a thought has Gilder sleeve by any chance listed his house for sale No, sir. I live there Well, I don't mind you but I I mean, um Thompson, I'll give you a listing of mine if you promise to get a listing on gilder sleeves house Verna Oh Yes, sir. Very good Come into my study young man Well, let's get the water department rolling Bessie. I'm a little late this morning My you look nice. Mr. Gilder sleeve. What a pretty red flower you're wearing Oh, that's a buddy poppy Bessie. Everybody ought to wear one this week Now let's get started with the mail. Yes, sir Howard newly wed, mr. Gilder sleeve. Oh, fine. Fine, but let's get down to work. The honeymoon's over. Yes, sir Are they happy? Well, naturally Bessie, but let's get on the ball. I'm so happy. They're happy Bessie, please This isn't the happiness hour. This is drudgery Did you check the water report? No, sir. You did. Oh Well, somebody has to be efficient around here I will say the work on my desk isn't piled as high as it used to be No, sir. I took the big pile and made it into three little piles Seems I've got a lot of work to do it. Bessie, please close the door. I don't want to be disturbed. Yes, sir The little pile Let's see Got work from left to right What is it now Bessie? Bessie, I don't want any salesmen in my hair Bronco, hey, well show him in. Hi, man. Mr. Gilder sleeve. Yeah, so I see. Well, how's business Bronco? Oh great Just dandy and I want to talk to you about something. How does it feel to be a newlywed, Mr. Thompson? What? Oh, fine. All right, Bessie. Mr. Gilder sleeve. I hear you're so happy. Yeah Mr. Gilder sleeve, and I'm so happy you're happy Bessie, would you please close that door from the other side? What a secretary Now Bronco, you wanted my advice about something. No, sir. I want to list your house for sale. Well, it My house I have a listing blank here. Mr. Gilder sleeve And if you'll just fill in a few details and sign on the dotted line, please Wait a minute Bronco I don't want to sell my house and put the top back on your fountain pen Well, I've learned an important thing about the real estate business already You can't sell real estate without listings. That's logical and probably true But why don't we start with somebody outside the family? Oh, I have I listed mr. Bullard's house this morning Mr. Bullard gave you a listing on his house. Yes, sir. He said he liked to help a young man get started That board trying to show me up before my own son-in-law. Let me see his listing Bronco. There it is in black and white His house isn't worth that much He marked up the price. He knows it won't sell wasn't it nice of mr. Bullard to give me the listing Well, Bronco, he's no nicer than I am. Where's that dotted line? Oh, Mr. Gilder sleeve, what can I do for you? Well, I thought I'd drop in and have lunch with you On your house But no pv. Have I ever asked you for a free lunch? We're good friends. Well, good friends are the kinds that eat a lot of free lunch Oh my goodness. Let me see your menu pv. You can go anywhere I recommend a cold salami sandwich. Well, I don't know. I think I like this roast beef Well, if you're hungry, mr. Gilder sleeve, I'd take this salami. Why? Well, I don't have any roast beef All right pv Give me a ham sandwich. I'd still take the salami No ham a pv Pv, it's a little chilly. Don't you have something hot? Well, I can heat the salami I'll take it cold. Okay. Well I hear my jury brought her new husband back home last night. Yeah, they've settled down to married life pv Bronco's gone into the real estate business. Yes, I know Here's your salami mr. Gilder sleeve. Thanks Pv, don't tell me bronco is drumming up business in here. Well, he did want me to list the pharmacy for sale Yeah, that's bronco. All right fast worker. I told him I'd have to talk it over with mrs. Pv Well, pv, you didn't have to do that. Why didn't you just tell him no? Well, I'm talking it over with mrs. Pv is telling him no I see well, I don't want to sell my house either but I gave him a listing on it You're gonna change. Yeah, just to encourage the boy Of course, I put the price up kind of high. He'll never sell it if he has a listing from me It might help him get other business. Yes, it might. Oh, mr. Gilder sleeve bronco. I've been looking all over for you I've sold your house Sold my house Yes, sir, here's a cashier's check for the down payment But bronco, you can't sell my house right out from under me. Can he pv? You We'll return to the great gilder sleeve very shortly Many a famous cook will tell you that she made her reputation by the simple trick of serving really wonderful salads Yes, and you can do it too Very easily in fact if you'll remember to do these three things when you make that salad first Make that salad in advance so it can be thoroughly chilled Second be sure your salad greens are drained dry and really crisp And third and probably most important of all be very particular about the dressing you use For real salad success serve miracle whip Miracle whip is the salad dressing millions prefer Actually, it's the most popular salad dressing ever created and once you taste it you know why Miracle whip has a delightfully different flavor a delicate zesty goodness Most folks agree is just exactly right Miracle whip, you know is a different kind of salad dressing It's made from a secret craft recipe to give you the very best qualities of old-fashioned boil dressing and fine mayonnaise And miracle whip is blended with a special craft beater to give you a super smooth texture Surprise your family tomorrow with an extra good salad and to be really sure they'll like it Remember to use plenty of america's favorite salad dressing the one and only miracle whip Let's get back to the great builders league To encourage his new son-in-law in the real estate business the great man listed his house for sale He didn't think it would move at such a fancy price, but was he ever surprised? I listed it in good faith margie, but I had no idea he'd sell it Oh, isn't brago a wonderful salesman on key. Well, he's a salesman He won't even tell me who's bought the place The buyer wants to remain anonymous Besides, what do you care? You're getting price that the house is worth and think of the big commission bronco's making Well, I'm glad for that, but hey, what is it lee roy? How much money do I get from my tree house out of this deal? Well, that wasn't included in the deal lee roy besides we may have to live in it Oh, unki for the money bronco's getting you we can get even larger house Yeah, how about a private room and bath for my pet turtle lee roy This is a serious matter and I'd back out of the deal if it was anybody else but bronco Yeah, and get sued. Hmm. I guess the buyer could take action Miss gelsley. Yes, birdie when we go start looking at houses. Well, I don't know birdie. Let's not rush this thing No, sir. But when we do, let's find the kitchen. It's all automatic all automatic Yes, sir. The only thing automatic about the kitchen we got is birdie Ha ha ha ha Miss gelsley when we go move. Well, I don't know birdie. I don't even know who bronco sold the house to That mr. Bronco water salesman He sells so fast. You don't even know who bought yeah, all right birdie. He's a natural bomb sales now birdie Yes, he comes back from his honeymoon and start selling. That's a natural bomb sales. I know birdie Miss gelsley, you know what your new son-in-law is. Yes birdie. That's right. He's a natural bomb salesman natural born sap How did I get into this? How do I get out of it? Round in circles looking for another house. No Trying to figure out how to keep the one we've got we don't want to sell that place. That's our home Yeah, I guess it'll be pretty tough living in another house. Certainly it would how could we get in when you forgot the key We'd have to punch new holes in the screens Leroy, there's only one hole. It's in the service porch Gosh, I might have to go to a new school where the teachers wouldn't take pity on me I'll get worse grades than I do now. That's highly probable. Leroy What if elmer doesn't like the new house? He may keep coming back like a cat a homing turtle Might take a month to make the trip. Yeah, well, don't worry about it. Leroy. We're not gonna move. I hope I could just find out who bought the place. Maybe you'll need a lawyer ronk Why don't you see judge hooker? Leroy the judge doesn't know anything about real estate. Sure He does he was standing in front of pv's drug store this morning talking to mr. Bullard about real estate Mr. Bullard, sure I was sitting by the newsstand reading the comic books and I heard judge hooker say real estate say Hooker is bullard's attorney in a bullard work by george. I'm going over to hookers What's the matter ronk? I smell a mouse my boy and there's an old cat saying when you smell a mouse head for the mouse hole Got a sneaking hunch that judge knows something about this deal. I'm sure he does I'm funded. I'll get the truth out of him if I have to beat the old goat with his own ass a fit of the bag Oh There he is going into his house judge Horace Go rascal sees me trying to get into the house. Now. I know something's up. Horace You come here Horace One more grab and I've got him Yeah, that's all my coach is not by the hair of your chinny chin chin you old goat I want to talk to you Horace not now gellie. I'm very busy and it's time for my k-lack water Well, you're a k-lack water can wait I want you to tell me the truth and nothing but the truth But gilding I listed my house for sale with bronco only as a gesture to encourage the boy And somebody pulled a sneaky trick on me and bought it. Do you know anything about a judge? That's a leading question Judge were you or were you not talking to rumpson bullard in front of peevee's drugstore this morning? Let me see peevee's drugstore answer. Yes or no judge Well, I bought a package of soda mince and peevee gave me a glass of water. Let's leave your liver out of this What about bullard? Oh, he's fine Now look here judge a cashier's check a deposit on my house now who purchased this check I can't tell you gellie. I don't have my glass. The name is not have you ever seen this check before Me? Oh my goodness. Look Horace. You're supposed to be an old friend of mine Do you want to see me lose my house? You want to see it sold right out from under my little family? No gellie. Besides, you're my attorney. I know gellie, but I'm rumpson bullard's attorney, too And he pays me So it is bullard who's buying my house. I didn't say that gellie It isn't ethical for an attorney to talk about his client's affair, but it is bullard I didn't say it was and I didn't say it wasn't you didn't say it wasn't Well, I didn't say it was. Well, was it or wasn't it? It was I mean it wasn't You said a judge it was now gellie. I did it. I set a trap trap for a mouse and caught an old goat I must remember to have that doorbell changed. I don't care for it. What's this? Oh, I forgot to mention gildersleeve. I bought your house. You did? Well, bullard, how could have you done such a thing? I've been waiting for an opportunity to remove you from the neighborhood gildersleeve You and your burning tires How happy I'm going to be when you're gone. But where will I go? How about canada? Now, bullard, you wouldn't take advantage of an old neighbor an old friend an old neighbor No, an old friend No You gildersleeve, yes If you'll excuse me, I'd like to come in and look over the house. Well, I can't stop you bullard. It's your house. I'll true. I'll true Oh, let's see. What room is this gildersleeve? You know the rooms you've been in this house before I know But I'd like to hear you tell me about it Please old neighbor have mercy on me. I'm in an awful pickle Well, I understand. This is national pickle week Tell me about the rooms gildersleeve. You're a hard man board Thank you Proceed gildersleeve. Well, this is the living room imagine What was that gildersleeve? Nothing my asthma I assume there are other rooms in the house. Yes, we have a kitchen. Well, what a pleasant surprise From the fumes which are constantly drifting across the street. I thought you did all your cooking over the incinerator Uh that I presume is the dining room. Yes, that's our dining room. You eat in there. Yes Standing up It's quite large when you're in it. I doubt if it would seem large when you're in it Bullard have a heart give me a chance call off the deal nothing doing I've waited years for this on the day you move I'm going to sit across the street on my veranda and cheer each passing piece of furniture It will be a day of song and festivity I shall adorn my cornices with bunting. All right, bullard. I'm licked. But how did you do it? It was quite simple really it was yes I induced young thompson to talk you into listing your house for sale by giving him a listing on mine When he came back with your listing, I gave him a cashier's check immediately Uh Is that how you did it? Yes, indeed Your experience to the contrary gilda sleeve. It requires brains to get along in this world Well by george bullard. I've got to hand it to you. You're clever Quite true And as I have so often said gilda sleeve the day would come when I would have the last laugh This is the day Gilda sleeve well bronco. Oh, there you are mr. Bullard. I've been looking all over for you Oh, what an ambitious young man. What is it my boy? I've just sold your house That's fine that What the listing mr. Bullard and I have a cashier's check for the deposit. No, no Yes, sir. Here it is the cashier's check you gave me for mr. Gilda sleeve. He's using it as a deposit to buy your house Well checked I got it trapped as you said bullard. This is the day for the last laugh The great gilda sleeve will be right back Now if you're planning a party luncheon, here's a beauty of an idea for you Get some big red tomatoes the kind you're just beginning to see in the market Cut them in quarters and arrange them petal fashion on a bed of lettuce Then right in the center put a generous mound of chicken salad But not just any chicken salad. I mean your own extra delicious kind The kind you make with miracle whip solid dressing Miracle whip's lively teasing flavor is just the thing to add a delightfully distinctive goodness to that salad Try it and see if you and your guests guests don't agree with the millions who prefer Miracle whip just a minute killed asleep. We've got him where we want him bronco. Well, yeah, but mr. Gilder sleeve Nothing at all children. We just bought mr. Bullard's house. No you haven't We'll call off both deals. Forget the whole thing. But what about my commission? I sold two houses Yeah, well bullard. If you want to keep your house, you pay commissions on both houses both houses I don't only pay commission on one. It's a deal You pay bronco the commission on yours and I'll pay him the commission on mine. He can take mine out and bake in an eggs Yes, birdy Show mr. Bullard the back door. Leroy put the tire back on the fire It's played by Harold Perry the show was written by Paul West John Elliott and Andy white with music by jack mekin Included in the cast are waller-tetley merrily rob lillian randolph gloria holiday dick crana gill gordon earl ross And dick legrand. What about me? This is jay steward saying good night for the craft foods company makers of the famous line of craft quality food brother Be sure to listen in next wednesday and every wednesday for the further adventures of the great gilder sleeve Which suits your taste mustard that's mild delicately spiced or sharp snappy mustard with zing in every bite Either way you like craft prepared mustard for there are two kinds Salad mustard tangy but smooth and craft prepared mustard with snappy horseradish added Have both on hand for different tastes different uses either works magic in bringing out hidden flavor For when you add a little mustard you add a lot of tang Yet craft prepared mustard Now join the excitement of break the bank on it