 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan Asley of Johnasley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic Why men come on strong and then just fade away? Why does this happen so often? I know you're curious on the question really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel Please hit the subscribe button hit the bell so you can be notified of new content and actually these are my weekend videos I shoot out of my balcony similar to the videos I shoot my private group called Midlife Love Mastery. Check out the link in the description to join my group So you can have direct access to me on a regular basis. This is where you can ask me questions And I'll shoot a video personalized just for you. All right. I think this topic is rather obvious Why do men come on strong and then just fade away? Ladies, I think it's highly important to recognize that the biological Secretion of chemicals that's released when we connect with another human being can be Ridiculously intoxicating. Why do we call it chemistry chemistry is from the root word chemical So what happens is when we see someone we like when we feel lust or limerence lust or limerence lust is sexual desire and Limerence is infatuation Enthusiasm infatuation when we feel that we men can come on really strong because that biological desire Kind of takes over so ladies, you know this whole idea that men love the hunt and men love the chase Well, what is it that we're hunting and chasing? Do you actually believe we're hunting going? I want a relationship I want a relationship. Is that what do you think we're hunting? Of course, we're hunting that physical connection with you and you know it and we know it This is why relationships that take off like a rocket typically crash and burn The same as quickly as it took off because no roots or foundation was built in the relationship And this is why I'm such a big proponent of first off vetting for emotional maturity vetting for emotional maturity This is really complex because the vast majority of the human population has weak emotional skills weak emotional skills and And what I mean is weak skills in the area of romance Coupled with that most human beings really after the age 40 if they most likely if they're out in the dating realm are Divorced the vast majority and they don't know what a relationship looks like at this, you know this The next chapter in their lives And so this is why I'm such a big proponent of reading the books that I recommend reading the books like eight dates by Dr. John and Julie Gottman by reading the book attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller and reading the book Getting Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt not to mention my own book. Look, I didn't show you my book this time The links to the Jonathan recommends books are there it's because I'm here to say that this is really important stuff your your emotional well-being is on the line When you put yourself out there And by the way, did you know the number one emotional health issue facing almost everyone is I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable and dating triggers that like nobody's business because if we've had one Experience after another experience after another experience it can weigh on our emotional heart Okay, so why is this so important to know for certainly for those of you younger folks? Who have access to a lot of people it can be very intoxicating to follow the bus of Chemistry and certainly for those in midlife as well as to recognize that the the the turtle is The slow and steady wins the the race and so here's the thing ladies You know this and yet you get caught up in the chemistry just as much as we men do and there's an old expression Men are the gas and women are the brakes Men are the gas and women are the brakes And so what I want to encourage everyone here is to recognize that if someone is coming on strong It's very important that you set the pace and set healthy boundaries before you get attached to a person Who may not be right for you? Is that sinking in getting attached to a person that's not right for you? You don't want that because you want it on you want it like I always say in my videos a juicy delicious relationship So just remember That when a guy takes off like a rocket and you're joining him be prepared because it could crash and burn Just as equally as fast and so learning how to pace yourself is something you must do because most men aren't really good at it All right, I think you get the gist of where I was going with the hey Again, these are my weekend videos My weekend videos are called morning cup of Jonathan today's cup. It says I don't want to work anymore I just want to be cherished and put up on a pedestal and taken care of who feels that way Please let me know post a comment below if this resonated with you post a comment below if you have something to add post a comment below All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone a pet or a teddy bear and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now