 When you see the narcissist after no contact That's what I'm gonna be talking about today. As you can see I am Dressed up quite smart today got somewhere. I'm going after I finished this video and Yeah, I thought I'd jump on here I thought it would be nice for you to see me Dressing smart for a change. That's not every day that I make the effort So I wanted to share it with you and yes, this is a Very important topic Because there are times when you will see them after no contact Maybe they discarded you Maybe they about maybe they left you and then You see them outside somewhere Maybe you're Have the supermarket Or you see them in the mall Or maybe you just walk past them on the street and When that happens it may shock you it may catch you off guard it can be easy Going no count no going no contact moving on When when you don't see them in person Just hit my head there but Think I'm okay So let's continue with this. Yes it can be easy going no contact and moving on until one day you see them in person and it's like All of that healing you did Suddenly it's pushed back You're right back at the start again because what they will do If they see you Their main goal is going to be to get a reaction out of you to pull you out of your frame and Into their reality and they might not even say anything at all But it's just that eye contact Just looking in your direction Their facial expressions That's what it takes to bring you down So what you have to do and This is my advice to you if you do see them after no contact Whether they discarded you or you left them you must do this You must Not react Don't give them your emotions Don't show them that you care you can care for other people That's fine. You can take care of them. You can give them your love your attention You can tell them how you feel The people that you trust to confide in Just don't do that with the narcissist Because remember Any time in the relationship where you showed them you cared Where you showed them your feelings Your vulnerabilities Your weaknesses Because we all have them Remember any time in the relationship that you did that remember How they responded did it look like they cared Were they there to comfort you To hold your hand to tell you that everything's gonna be okay that they do anything to help you No, they didn't did they all they did was Take note of What you were showing them They took note of your vulnerabilities your weaknesses And they kept it in their back pocket to use against you at a later date Because anything you give to a narcissist Any personal private information They're just gonna use it as ammunition against you. So I don't care how you feel about them Doesn't matter doesn't matter If they're the most incredible person you ever met in your life That don't mean shit When you're dealing with a narcissist If that's how you feeling about them Go ahead You see you them after no contact walk up to them tell them that What are they react? See if they give a shit and even if they do Pretend to care See how long that lasts a few days if you're lucky One week in most cases it won't even last a few hours Until they turn against you again Until they're pointing out all of your flaws Everything that is wrong with you. I'm giving me. I'm giving you my advice But at the end of the day, it's your choice what you decide to do with it some of us and I'll admit This includes myself We want to learn things the hard way We want to go out and experience it on our own Until we forward until we fall hard flat on our face Now then it hits us we realize It's like we're living in a shared fantasy Which after a while The narcissist has no part in yeah in the beginning they feed you this fantasy They're like here you go Believe in this Follow my ideas that I am presenting to you But after a while They detach from that very fantasy That they lured you into and it's heartbreaking Because then then you're in this bubble You're in this glass room and you can't find the door to get out You're trapped in there all alone And no one's there to save you and at some point Instead of trying to find a way out of it You just have to accept that what you're seeing isn't even real And only then will you come back to reality It's like you're in a dream and when people see you Especially after the discard It's like you're in a trance Like you're under a spell it's like You're a puppet and they're pulling the strings Like you've lost control of your own mind Your own actions and behaviors Your own emotions and I know Many of you can relate to what I'm saying right now. Is that not the hardest part? After dealing with a narcissist just regaining control of yourself And you may look around at other people in the world and think Are they take that for granted? Just the ability to control your own reactions Your own thoughts and emotions It's incredible, but once you've been With a narcissist That's when you realize Just how valuable those things really are Just the ability to compose yourself Because it's hard once you've been involved with them and that's why this topic is so important because Yeah, after you've got away You may come back into your own frame Where you're then able to dictate and compose yourself In a way that you couldn't before when you were around them But then when you see them again after no contact All of those thoughts stop start popping up in your head again those feelings come back and It's up to you to realize that it's all fake anyway, but I don't want to tell you how you feel I Don't want to tell you that your feelings are fake. I'm just going off of my own experience here and I'm just hoping that you can Relate Because that's the one thing That I realized after dealing with all of this It's that my own thoughts and even my own emotions Would just base on a fantasy On a bunch of bullshit because that's what was spoon-fed to me all of that time. I believed in it And along with those beliefs came emotions But those were false beliefs I believed in something that wasn't even real, but what you should feel Even if you do see them after no contact You will feel you will feel grief you will feel like they're dead they're gone Even if they never did actually exist Because at one point Even if it was only in our heads They did exist to us Felt real at the time, but at some point you just you just have to let them go It's like when you were a kid and you had an imaginary friend At some point you just have to realize that they were never real Even if you do see them again, you just have to accept that But anyway, I am short on time now I've got a run. I am dressed smart today for a reason So yeah, I hope this vibe do you if it did please give it a thumbs up And I will talk to you in another one very soon