 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve. Gildesleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. There are lots of good reasons for serving Kraft's new Parquet margarine. Parquet gives you everything you've ever wanted in a table spread. It looks wonderful, it tastes wonderful, and it spreads smoothly even when ice cold. Now there's still another reason for buying Kraft's new Parquet regularly. With every pound, you can order a pair of famous Powers model nylon stockings at half price. I'll tell you more about Parquet margarine's sensational offer in just a minute. Nobody tries harder than the great Gildesleeve to be on good terms with everybody, especially his girlfriends. But even girls as sympathetic as Lila Ransom and Grace Tuttle find it difficult to understand how the water commissioner can make dates with each of them for the same night. Hello? Hello? Hello me? She hung up on me. Yeah? Lira, she won't even talk to me. What? I did. She won't talk to me either. I don't deserve this. Why should I be cast aside like an old shoe? Because I think you're a heel? Lira... Lucky being a bachelor, but I've changed my mind. I'd rather be married. Why? Well, when you're married, you only got one woman to contend with. Well, I'm going to phone again and give Lila one more chance. Lira, I let the dog in. That 140-pound grade dane could knock down the door if he took a run at it. Trouble's enough. Yes, trouble's too. It just handles his better than you, uncle. What? You only got two girlfriends. The dog's got a... The more receptive mood. I'll get very interceded for me. Lira Ransom likes you. Will you see if you can get her to talk to me? You mean I got to stay out with Mrs. Ransom? Well, it would help, Bertie. The job, Bertie, gets around here. Bertie cooks the meals, keeps the house and plays Cupid on the side. Well, you might play on her sympathies. Tell her I'm not feeling well. That's because I got a cake in the oven. Yes, ma'am. Hiya, Mrs. Ransom. I'll be good with Miracle Whip. Oh, hi. Bertie, come to the point. I'm going to have sandwiches. That's what I'm going to have. All them in the paper, wouldn't they cute? Bertie. Excuse me, Mrs. Ransom. Yes, ma'am. Say something about me. Oh, speaking of going downtown, there's a gentleman here who'd be glad to drive you and maybe buy you a lunch. Good going. A gentleman? Yes, and Mr. Giffley. Good-bye. I think she hung up on you again. Good. I wanted the problems. But if we start talking to your teacher about yours, we can ease into mine. You were giving up on Mrs. Ransom, huh? You know, I can be as often as she can. Besides, I can persuade Grace to go out with me. I won't miss Lila. She hasn't answered the door. I wonder if she saw you coming. Yes. Good morning. Hello, Leroy. Hi. Realize this is a little unusual. But being Saturday morning, I thought it might be a good time to discuss Leroy's school problem. Does Leroy have a school problem? Doesn't he? You know what I mean? You go ahead, Leroy. Tell Ms. Tuttle about your problem. Well, gosh, I was not pretty good. Your work has been more than satisfactory, Leroy. Nice. You will. Glad to hear that. Of course. But... If you have a problem, it isn't in school. Your homework has improved tremendously. Yeah? You will. Oh, you mean you're no longer helping him? Do you mind running along? I don't know. Goodbye, Frog Morton. No, Grace. Let's be sensible about this. Let's talk this over. I have nothing to do with a man who makes dates with two girls on the same night and doesn't keep either one of them. Grace, that'll never happen again. You're so right. I'll give anything to get things straightened out. Obviously, bringing your nephew over on such a silly pretext. All right. I'll admit I came over here to mend fences. Fine. I'll give you something to start on. Well... I'll give you the gate. I'm in trouble making up with Lela and Grace. You don't care. You mind sending me to your box of candy? Honestly, you seem to have a lot of lady troubles. Well, as Leroy said this morning, a man's better off married than being a badgered bachelor like me. I don't know. You take your own case. You and Mrs. Peavey have been married over 40 years. You know a man's happier with a wife. No, I wouldn't say that. It all depends on who you marry. Mrs. Peavey and I have been very happy through the years. I'm sure you have. Yes, you might not be as lucky in marriage as Mrs. Peavey was. I'll bet you don't tell her she's lucky. No, that's why we're so happy you're married. Yes, yes. Say, isn't that Clarence Olson parking out in front? I believe he did. Remember when he used his teal all your girlfriend? Yeah, I can see that in there. I think she's quite an operator. Hello, Mr. Peavey. Hello, Dr. Olson. And Gilder Sleeve. Well, who do you know? Clarence Olson. I haven't seen you for some time. No, our paths haven't crossed since we both were dating that cute little nurse. As I recall, they used to cross quite often. Yes, indeed. Oh, Mr. Peavey, do you mind putting this poster in your window? Poster? The Summerfield Symphony is giving a concert for the heart fund. Oh, I'd be happy to, Dr. Well, thank you. How about you, Gilder Sleeve? Would you like to buy a couple of tickets? Five dollars. Oh, you bet. Here. I know you. You don't want to take some girl. Well, I'll be glad to help the heart fund. But I don't have a girl. Oh, now, Gilder Sleeve. Do I, Peavey? Not at the moment. Mr. Gilder Sleeve just had two girls walk out on him. Really? Mr. Peavey, give us a coke. I want to hear the sad story. Gilder Sleeve, you never quite learned how to handle women, did you? I'll see you here, Clarence. I know what I'm doing. Unfortunately, I just happened to make dates with both girls for the same night, that's all. You know, I've apologized many times. Over the phone and at the front door. I sent them flowers and I came in here to buy them some candy. That's right. Let's not forget that. Gilder Sleeve, you're going at this all wrong. What? Look, since we're no longer rivals, I don't mind giving you a few pointers. And you need them. I do not. Do I, Peavey? I'd listen to the manly together. You're too obvious. You wear your heart and your sleeve. Yeah, and both sleeves. Yes, yes. Instead of showering a girl with presence and attention, play hard to get. Oh? Now, be independent. Pretend you don't care if you'd never go out with them. That works, huh? Can't miss. The more indifferent you are, the more intrigued they are. Well, I'm not getting anywhere now. Gilder Sleeve, next time you see one of your girls, follow my advice. You'll thank me for the rest of your life. Careful, Mr. Say, gentlemen, here comes one of the girls now. Yeah, it's Leela. Hey, she's one of your girls? You bet. It's nice to see you. I'll be indifferent. Oh, yes. Hello. Well, hello, Mrs. Ransom. Hello, Mr. Peavey. You cute little old man, you. What can I do for you? Well, I just want some stamps out of the machine here. Very well. What's that poster advertising, Mr. Peavey? It's about this infinite concert. Dr. Olson here brought it in. And you're missing Gilder Sleeve. Aren't you going to introduce me, Gilder Sleeve? Well, Mrs. Ransom, I present Dr. Clarence Olson. How do you do, Dr. Olson? How do you do? I didn't know we had a Dr. Olson in town. He's an intern at the hospital. Oh, well, it's very nice of you doctors to take the time to help promote the concert. Oh, I'm happy to do it. Are you going to the concert, Leela? Well, you know, I adore symphony, Throckmorton. And my phone has been ringing all morning. I suppose somebody has been calling to extend an invitation. Well, you know, I'd be delighted. Gilder Sleeve. What were you about to say, Throckmorton? Hey, I said I'd be delighted to take you. Oh? But I'm quite busy and afraid I won't be able to. Some other time, perhaps. Wow. That's the idea. I bought a couple of tickets. But, PV, why don't you and I go to the wrestling matches? Can we get in with symphony tickets? What's wrong with a couple of men going to the wrestling matches? I was just about to give you another chance, Throckmorton, and let you take me to the symphony. But you've burned your bridges. Oh, wait a minute. Mrs. Ransom, I hate to see a music lover disappointed. Oh? Since our mutual friend prefers wrestling, may I invite you to be my guest at the concert? I have two of the best seats in the house. But, Dr. Ocean, I accept your invitation. Good, good. May I see you at your car? Oh, you certainly may. Goodbye, Mr. PV. Goodbye, Mrs. Ransom. But, Leela, what about that, PV? He's just helping you play hard to get. What a sneaky way to help. Great Gilder Sleeve will return in just a moment. 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But you can order them for just 75 cents and a Parquet margarine end flap. That's the yellow flap that tucks into the top of the Parquet package. Choose from two of the season's smartest shades and either a dark seam or a self-color seam. Instructions for ordering are given inside every Parquet margarine package. So tomorrow, be sure to pick up Kraft's wonderful Parquet, the delicious appetizing new margarine that spreads smoothly even when ice cold. Well, let's get back to the great Gilda Sleeve. Neither Lila Ransom nor Grace Tuttle has been speaking to the water commissioner, so he decided to take the advice of his old rival, Dr. Olson, and play hard to get. Result, Dr. Olson got Lila. That pushy intern tricked me, Bertie. Yeah? Lila was just about to forgive me and let me take her to the concert. And he took her right from under my nose. Yeah. Be indifferent, he says. Pretend you don't care, he says. Yeah, I should have known better than to take advice from a rival. Yes. You still don't have a girlfriend, huh? Lila got upset all over again. No, I'm really in the doghouse. Woo! I'm not talking to you, dog. Woo! He's not sure. He doesn't every time you say dog. Woo! See? Oh, my goodness. Miss Gilda Sleeve, I've got an idea. Miss Tuttle might go out with you for something really important. What's this, Bertie? Well, since you bought two tickets to the symphony, you might try her. Well, I'd like to take Grace, and it'll also show Lila. Miss Tuttle won't even talk to you. She slammed the door in your face. Miss Gilda Sleeve, you might try flipping the tickets under the door with a string tied to him. Please, Bertie. Why don't you fool her, Aunt? You're hardly really. Well, you can disguise yourself as a vacuum cleaner salesman. This is the most ridiculous idea I ever heard of. I wouldn't stoop to disguising myself. I can't disguise myself. I just brought the vacuum cleaner. It might help me get my foot in the door. Then I can ask Grace to go to the symphony. Yes? Is the lady of the house in? Now, see here, Throckmo. I'm demonstrating the Jiffy Dandy vacuum cleaner. And before you say you don't need a vacuum cleaner, allow me to throw a sack of dirt on your floor. Don't you dare throw dirt on my floor. Don't worry, lady. Just read these testimonials. Here's what this housewife from Duluc says about Jiffy Dandy. Get your foot out of the door. Please, Lady, I'm working my way through college and I'm a little late. Throckmorton, I can't stay angry at you. Come in, college boy. I think I've graduated. These are wonderful feet, Throckmorton. I like to be close enough to watch the guy bang the cymbals. And we're so fortunate having a symphony orchestra in Summerfield. They're not getting off to a very even start. They're tuning up, Throckmorton. Oh, yes. Thought I'd make a little joke. Isn't it funny how things work out? This morning I had no idea I'd be attending a concert with you tonight. Well, I'm glad I came over with my vacuum cleaner. Are you sure you didn't try to sell it to some other girl? I suppose you mean Lila. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up. I'm not dating Lila these days. As a matter of fact, she's going with someone else. Well, I suppose a girl of her type always manages to corral some unsuspecting male. No, Grace. This happens to be a young doctor in town. She probably had an appendectomy just to meet him. I won't be surprised if they show up at the concert tonight. Well, you seem to know a lot about it. Me? Are you just chatting or regretting? Grace, I'm not regretting. I'm very happy about the whole thing. You know, I've learned my lesson. Two girls on your hands at the same time spell nothing but trouble. Here comes double trouble. Well, it's Lila. They're sitting next to us. Hello, Lila. Schrockmorton, is this what you call going to the wrestling matches? Well, good evening, Gilda Sleeves. Hello. Dr. Olson, I don't believe you've met Schrockmorton's little school teacher friend. No, I haven't had the pleasure. Yeah, excuse me. Hey, Miss Tuttle, this is Dr. Olson, hospital intern. How do you do, Miss Tuttle? How do you do? I see you have a date, Gilda Sleeves. You must have taken my advice. Oh, she's sweet. Oh, why don't you sit right here, Lila? Next to Schrockmorton? The doctor tried to sit there. She'd break his arm. I declare these seats are so close together. Can you get all that dress in the seat? Schrockmorton. Yes, Grace? You didn't have anything to do with this cozy arrangement, I hope. You don't know. I had no idea. I'm with you. This is just an unfortunate situation. Then stop smiling. Well, we're just in time. I hope they don't dim the lights before everybody sees my dress. They can't miss it. It looks like a neon sign. Grace, she'll hear you. I did. We must make quite a combination, dear, with your green eyes and handed hair. Lila. Congratulations to the hospital, Dr. Clarence Olson, please. Oh, that's you, Clarence. Yes, I'm afraid I'll have to leave. What a shame. Well, there's no reason for you to miss the concert. Schrockmorton. Yes? You and Miss Tuttle will see that Lila gets home, won't you? You're welcome. That's nice of you, too. Of course, I've always felt two's company and three's a crowd. I've never felt more crowded. Schrockmorton, it was the most enjoyable concert. Glad you liked it, Grace. Wasn't it, though? Of course, I had no idea the evening would end up a threesome. Neither did I. My George, this is great. I've got both girls back. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't taken me under your wing, Schrockmorton. Well, Grace and I were glad to help. Yes, I believe everyone should cooperate in an emergency. Grace, ever since I've known Schrockmorton, which is much longer than you, he has always come to my rescue like a knight in shining armor. You're glad I polished up the old car. Shall we stop someplace for a soda or a hot chocolate, girl? Schrockmorton, I have to get up early in the morning. Don't you think we should drive Leela home? Well... Grace, if you have to get up early, why drive me home and come all the way back? Already, Grace. Schrockmorton, we're almost at Grace's now. Why don't we drop off? After all, you and I live so close together. Perhaps you should drop me off, Schrockmorton, since you and Leela are so close. Well, Grace, if you think I should. It isn't that I think you should. I was just wondering if you would. God, Grace, this is our date. This was our date. Okay, I'll drop you off. You're not dropping me. I'm dropping you. There goes one girl. A little while before I go in. Leela, I think it's been a long evening for all of us. I think it was Leela. Well, you weren't very nice to Grace. Perfectly pushing her out of the car. After all, I had the date with her, you know. Oh, you were going to ask me first, you know. Weren't you, Schrockmorton? Hope it is my heart skips a beat when I see you with another woman. Oh, Leela, let's face it. You weren't even speaking to me when I phoned the other morning. But Leela's in a more receptive mood at night. Leela, you changed with the winds. You went to the symphony with Dr. Olson and came home with me. You seemed perfectly happy with either one of us. Well, I'm happy now. Yes, yes. And a little sad too. Oh? That I've made you unhappy. Isn't that I'm unhappy? Then you do like Leela a teeny weeny did? Oh, of course I like you. How much? If you say a bushel, I might give you a pay. I like you a bushel. Then here's your pay. Don't bump the back of our car. I didn't care about my girl until I got back. Tomorrow's the day to buy Kraft's wonderful new parquet margarine, the margarine that spreads smoothly even when ice cold. You'll enjoy parquet's fresh appetizing taste and you'll also enjoy the opportunity to build a glamorous hosiery wardrobe at half price. In every package of parquet margarine are full instructions for getting famous powers model nylon stockings for just 75 cents in a parquet package end flap. Remember Kraft's delicious new parquet when you shop tomorrow. Would you like a ride home, Leela? Nobody is further from my mind than Miss Tuttle. Yeah, outside our classroom window. Oh, well. How you doing, Mrs. Lansom? Great. I may drop by after I take you home. Sweet. You met Dr. Olson parked up ahead? Yeah. Where is he sitting there? Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to drive up behind him and give him a bump. Yeah? You think you're all two? Yeah. He bumped me last night. Now it's my turn. Yeah, I'm going to push him halfway down the block. Partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tepley, Lillian Randolph, George Neese, Mary Schiff, Shirley Mitchell, Tito Kahlvig and Dick LeGrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Hildesley. Who and wonderful about Kraft Oil. It now comes to your kitchen as fresh as it was the minute it was made, because it's bottled in a new way. Any salad and cooking oil is better when it's fresh. And now Kraft Oil and only Kraft Oil is guaranteed fresh with an airtight vacuum cap. Be sure to get a bottle of Kraft Oil tomorrow. The freshest oil you'll ever buy is lighter-bodied, better-blending Kraft Oil. Tonight, play You Bet Your Life on NBC.