 Hello everyone. I think most of you were in this. So I don't think I really need to introduce myself I'm going to anyway. I am I do like using memes. I that's basically all that is on my Facebook timeline But who is this guy? Yeah, you already know I'm Matt Graham Senior web developer at Sandbox husband dad jack of all trades. I kind of do a little bit of everything Eternal student fume behavior Which is part of the reason why I'm doing a talk on mental health and I'm also a meme Lord There are two levels above me, but meme Lord is kind of the redistribution engineers one of the things I like to call it And of course I I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you. I have had a really Bad month I was gonna swear there for a second, but I want to I don't want to save the editing so as This meme describes You know when I'm counseling other people my friends on their mental health. I'm you know very much the stoic You know put together person, but when it comes to my own mental health, I'm a little frazzled so Again, this is very much talking about Mental health in the freelance or Remote space so if you work by yourself or if you work with a company, but you are You know in the random room in your house and doing 90% of your work without anyone around you 37% Have mental health issues Versus 13% of people who do both in office and remote one of the things that As a society we do we we we really raise people. Oh, yes, or a camera We really raise people. I got a being camera. I guess Yeah, thank you We really elevate people who you know get to the peaks You know do big things, but we also have to Elevate those people who have come from the depths And pulled themselves up to you know level ground let alone to the mountaintop And that and I think this is a perfect example of you know mental health people who have pulled up and pulled themselves up Gotten the help they needed One several things that I'm gonna repeat it. You are not alone if you have Problems if you're finding yourself Depressed or anxious you are not alone And you are not your thoughts and if none of these things that I'm gonna talk about I'm gonna talk about some Some strategies and things that you can do to help your mental health these don't help seek help It's it's not that Yeah, there's still a stigma about it doesn't matter You matter more than the stigma So first thing to talk about is diet and you probably think yourself. I know I thought about it. Why is this? Slightly poorly guy talking about a diet When I say diet, I do not mean I'm going on a diet I mean what you eat on a daily basis what your normal Food intake is and I know I shouldn't say that with coffee Chris in front of me It's off camera no beat that entire thing out, okay but the the thing that I Hesitate to say but it's true sugar is a drug I say that because of the high it gives you and the fact that it drops you down when it's gone Yes, sir. I Already I already said it and we need to beep that out Anyway, and I'm not saying that sugar is a complete no-go of course Indulge every once in a while, but just don't have it as your main source of energy What sorry what was up? I'm not good talk about coffee Caffeine is also a drug, but it's it's acceptable Anyway, it is a beautiful drug anyway Yeah, so I mean, you know do not yeah exactly do or do not there's no try um There's no Star Wars references, which is slightly shocking. Anyway Exercise another thing. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah question. Oh Yeah, I know do or do not There's the star. Yeah, the Star Wars references are in the room. I yeah, exactly exactly um So I I don't have the statistic with me, but there is a direct correlation between Exercise and your mental health in that after you've done exercise after you've raised your heart rate the mental health Effects actually last four hours after I don't know what the exact timing is but it's like three to four hours after and that can have a lasting effect and You know a compounding effect over time again, the big guy talking about exercise I realized that the you know The irony thank you the irony of that But again exercise it really really helps and I should have gotten a picture of when I actually I lost 75 pounds I'm back up to where I was before But what I lost 75 pounds and I felt great probably the best I'd felt and Ever as far as I know So another meme for you People who strain for strength people train for aesthetics. I just want to make the sad and the voices go away self-care so one of the things that Especially going into the freelance and you know and into remote work You have a tendency to maybe work a little bit longer than you probably should For some people not everybody I mean Kira sounds like she's got her five o'clock deadline, but no, yeah, okay Yeah, exactly So self-care. It's you know something as simple as going for a haircut. You like any of your nails done You know Yeah, many petty. Yeah, exactly And that was that was my next point is something as simple as taking a shower Some people that is what they need to do that's what they need to force themselves to do to have good self-care my self-care and I have to say go J's go Cuz cuz Cuz of Nick saying go bills go. So, you know, I had to put my digs in but also another thing that you That self-care really is another thing for self-care is saying no so I Well within my rights to decline this request and literally no one will think badly of me if I say no Because they understand that nobody can be expected to say yes to everything in my time is just as valuable as theirs and Healthy boundaries are totally okay, but also me. Yes, of course. I'm going to do it for you. So yes Say no have a way to say no Remember sometimes you have to say no I'm talking to myself. That's why I'm saying it over and over again So mindfulness So there are there are multiple studies where prayer, you know, if you have a faith background It's what I'm looking for meditation, thank you those types of things are Extremely good for mental health because you are trying to shut it trying to shut out the world a little bit internalize your thoughts What's going on? And it's it's a really good way to calm yourself down whether it's for anxiety or depression Those are really good strategies Another thing cognitive behavioral therapy The best way if you've never heard of it before the best way I can explain it is The way that you think about external factors mostly other people It's not necessarily what's what's reality so Say I haven't heard from my clients They must they must hate me. They must hate what I've done for them. You know, I sent them a bill I haven't heard anything Chances are they probably just missed your email or Or they're going through some stuff themselves So there's a book Mind over mood this this is a endorsement It's basically is like the the talk about cognitive behavioral therapy and going through those motions of taking a step back and Reframing what's happening so that it doesn't tear you down You don't you're not tearing yourself down Yeah Another another strategy find your tribe So I hesitate using that terminology, but really what it boils down to is finding people like-minded whether it's in the same vocation or or a hobby that you enjoy doing find people who and That's exactly what I was gonna say. You've already done it by coming here You know people with at least a tangential love of WordPress if not it being core to what they do for a living You know you get to talk with other people about Your trials and WordPress and building sites and building plugins and all the stuff are around it It's it's cathartic it's therapeutic just Having someone else to talk to because again if you're sitting in an office for eight hours a day with no one else to talk to See I was so I was I was it's it's she's now now just you're heckling me It took you this long Like I realized I'm going through this way too fast, but it took you that long took you 15 minutes I'm sad It's not that serious how have you seen how many means I put up here Anyway But really I mean yes, we we do talk, you know at least once or twice a day And that's and that's one of the good things that I like about sandboxes. We do have our daily stand up Is it productive? Not at all But we talk and we talk about what we're doing that day and we have the stupid Not stupid just silly like contests like we're having a Potato chip like salty snack contest right now and I'm really disappointed, but cool ranch has already been knocked out of the race I know It lost to all dressed which which is It's all dressed Yeah, yeah, and I'll I will fully admit that Part of my Canadian citizenship has been revoked because I do I do not like ketchup chips, and I do not like all dressed chips I Realized that that our Prime Minister might be walking into the room any second now to take my passport away No, so but yeah fine like have have the social time Like don't just sit there by yourself Get social whether it's I Mean I hesitate to tell people to go to a bar But if that's how you're gonna get your social time, and you're not going to become There you go. Go to exactly go to a Starbucks once in a while. Even if you don't talk to someone there's human contact involved Board game. Oh, yes board game Well, that's and that's the other thing too Yeah, so that's the other thing is if you're a coder or even if you're not a coder But if you work from home by yourself go to a library go to a co-working space if you have one available in your town Try and like see if there are any meet-ups in your town that it's literally just you sit around and your codes You can you know talk to someone whatever Point is get social Well, and that's the thing right that it's it's it's that happy. It's that happy medium of yeah Yeah, yes Yes, and that's the thing that's Yes, so go to a bar not to drink but to be with friends. Yeah, put exactly There you go So yeah, and then don't don't get caught into this trap where the only reason you see other people is for them to exploit what you do We actually competent and everyone sees you Coming to you with work. I've been doomed by my own greatness Yeah Another thing forgive yourself You've made mistakes. Guess what? Everybody makes mistakes You're not alone Yeah, you Sorry what no, she said she didn't make mistakes. She did yeah, I know right She's still she's still a newbie coder. I'm yeah, I'm watching her You want to say it with the rest of the class? Yeah, so again, you need to forgive yourself. What are you laughing at me for? Exactly, that's right. See let's let's go back. So refrain Yeah, exactly. This is what are they laughing at me or are they laughing with me? You're not instilling confidence with that one. Yeah, that was a subtle one No Yeah, exactly This doc is descending into madness So yeah, again, it's the whole and yeah, so I'm definitely on that side today. I Think am I yeah trying So again, remember You're not alone You're not alone You are not your thoughts and if none of these things work Seek professional help your worth Your your worth and your life is not dictated by these things if Don't don't give in to pride and say oh no, I don't I don't need to do these things see professional help If none of these things work Do it for yourself You're worth it you you are We talk about equality Because you are you're equal to everyone else Don't Don't Give in to pride and yeah, so sorry for acting weird I'm weird and it will have it again. Yeah, I know It's it's a highly memified AI generated thing So I know this really isn't a question-answer sort of thing But does anybody have any questions because I have really flown through that that one That one that one is from an app called lensa So no, I you know what that's that's an excellent question. I That that would be a niche vocation. So the question the question was is their therapist specifically for Software engineers like there are for like sports First people as far as I know no But yeah, well, that's the thing this might be this might be a new niche or I Mean at the end of the day finding someone who is knowledgeable in CBT and going through that because it comes back to what Shaunta was saying in the last session that Sometimes you need that structure to be able to go through that to go through to go through and learn something So I can recommend that book all day and it might sit on your desk until what's that? Well, and that's the thing the book would sit on your desk and Until the end of time because you haven't picked it up and looked at it But if you have a therapist who's trained in it who goes through that book with you or does it in their own way Then it's going to click better for some people. Oh 100% there is Yeah Yeah No, I I call myself crazy all the time. Yeah. Yeah This mine is yours Yes, I do need to give a shout out to big orange heart who is An organization. I mean they they do conferences, but they have a slack that is it is around WordPress and and mental health and there's a channel that I Frequent going how are you today? And you literally let rate yourself from one to ten and the event and People respond Even if it's just like giving you the heart emoji But some people will like if they've been through this the same thing you've been through they'll talk about it Absolutely poor quest anxiety is real absolutely It's just like Four out four hours Yeah Yeah Exactly That's right But it's it's exactly yeah And you know what I yeah Mm-hmm Absolutely, and I would In in terms of my talk, I would sort of lump that in with self-care because as Part of your mental health journey you may need to cut people out of your life That pull you down Exactly make that hard decision go look and I know that there are people Not so much in my life now because COVID kind of just organically got rid of some of these people Okay, so so full confession full confession I am not one for conflict I Get very uncomfortable with conflict Stop it very very so So but all that to say that you know when it comes time to do that sort of thing that I need to say look I just don't I can't associate with you anymore. I can't I Can't be around you Sorry, like that's that's been it's been very difficult for me over my life. Yes Yes, yeah, that's actually one of the Better help there's a new one in Canada that I can't remember the name of There's I want to say they're like two or three ones that actually bring on registered therapists That you just go on to the site you you do You do some like questionnaire and they match you based on the questions that you've answered So yeah, but better help is a good one definitely. I've actually used better help myself It was very good And Talking about the mindfulness There's a couple apps that you can that you can do as well. There's the calm app Headspace that was another one that I've used There's another one that just came out with a year for free and I can't remember the name of it I'll top my head. It's actually on my phone. Where did I put my phone? Oh, it's my back pocket Come on It is called Nope some of those I Don't know which one it does anymore. Sorry. Sorry It's it's got pushed out of my newly installed apps But yeah, there's there's lots of apps that kind of just guide you through that meditation That can help with that sort of thing as well Yeah, yeah Do Okay If I'm if I'm gonna if I'm we are at a tech conference So I am going to take the tech answer and go the Wi-Fi sucks at Tim Hortons Yeah Well, and that's the thing Tim Hortons isn't Canadian anymore. It's Brazilian. Yeah, exactly Yeah, yeah Yes, so yeah, so to repeat the camera for the kid for the to repeat the camera Yep, so to repeat the question for the audience at home Is Is there a way that you can kind of force yourself to do those things when you're in the funk? I'll be honest The the thing that I default to when I'm in that bad of a funk Is I will go for a walk Because I just need to walk away from the computer and I keep walking and Sorry Yeah Yeah, so sorry though to reiterate that again for the folks at home is to have to kind of take those two things and Have a tribe that you can be held accountable to Because to me Yeah, how do you how do you find out of the hole? Yeah Yeah, and so to so I mean to kind of say the same thing That you said but in my so I said earlier that I had lost 75 pounds the way I did that I Was tracking my calories with an app? And I was held accountable to someone on the other side of that. I was paying, you know a monthly fee It was it was new It was it was actually really good, but they focus on the diet then every morning I was either going for a six kilometer walk. Sorry. What's that miles? Four four miles four ish miles Or I was going for a bike ride that was about an hour And or going to the gym and doing weight training So but I had that on a schedule so I was being held accountable on the diet and I had the schedule for the exercise and that's what made me Successful and with when I stopped that's when everything fell apart and that exactly it's the first step That's always the hardest It really is Mm-hmm absolutely yep. Yep And if and if you are just like if you're not ADHD and you're anxious or you're you have clinical depression Do not again. Don't let your pride get in the way of taking medication Whether it's 80 Anxiety depression or any combination thereof Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah Yeah Yeah It was mad Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I told my parents Anybody else Oh Yeah, yep, absolutely Yeah, absolutely Well, and that's and that's the thing you need to trust your doctor and you need to be informed I Like I've had the same GP Basically since I was 13. I entrusted I trust him implicitly and you know, it took it took us a while to figure out what was the best Medication for me like I've only been on the medication. I'm on now for two and a half years And I've basically had some form of depression and I mean I've only been recently diagnosed with severe depression in the last two years and that's What got me on this medication? But you know, it's it's not cut and dry for everybody. I mean ADHD itself is Multi-faceted in how it presents in different people same with depression same with anxiety So, yeah, you're right. You need to be informed And again, sometimes you might need to figure out what the best one is for you No, absolutely not. No, absolutely. It's not it's not about it's not about fear. It's about Making sure you get what's right for you Exactly exactly Yeah, our minds are our minds are how our body manages itself how we make money, frankly like You know, if we didn't have a brain. Well Anyway, some people all know just kidding So any any other questions comments kudos criticisms Comments. Yes, sir. Oh wait got got two more two more Shelfers Yes Yeah The same time Yeah, was another one Yeah, yeah All Yeah Yeah, exactly. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, exactly. All right Thank you so much