 Some guys cheating on you and therefore now you want to, you know, die by suicide or you want to, you cannot do that. Absolutely, you have, you have goals, you have potential, you're much better than that. You are enough, you're beautiful. Yes. Stop it. Yes. Yeah, let's move on. No need for love triangle issues. Step in fact, wish them well. Absolutely. Wish them well and move on girl. Yes. Yes. Because there is a better one for you. Yes. Yes. And for the young men that are cheating, come on, you can do better. We need some gentlemen. Yes. Yes. Some protectors. Yes. Some protectors. Some fighters. Yes. Yes. Yes. So we ask all the young men to please step up because we also care about them. Absolutely. Yes. And I'm sure the young men that are also watching are wondering, we also get hired in this room. Yes. Yes. The girls are applied to the house. Yes. Yes. Yes. All right. Now I want to touch on trauma a little bit because that's what you deal with. Yes. Yes. So some people have gone through trauma. Yes. You know, from childhood and now they're in their youth. How do they rise above that? Yes. You know, and we've been talking about it around about it, but trauma, it just overwhelms the body to the point where it makes it just difficult to do things. And even thinking when you've been traumatized, you cannot process information clearly. You can, you know, so it's important that when we look and see how trauma affects us, what it does is that it stresses us out to the point where it ages us internally. And we begin to be, we are older on the inside than we show on the outside. And any issues or predispositions that you have, for example, if there are family health issues, those issues tend to grow. And the trauma manifests diseases in your body because the trauma is hiding in your weakest organ in your bodies. And it's important for us to understand that in order to get rid of this trauma, one easy step is to talk. Another easy step, and I love watching when we first got here, I saw the youth dancing in the background, dancing, sports. All of those things are ways to get the stress out of the body and outside. Because inside the body, it just destroys our organs. It destroys us and ages us on the inside, right? All right. So they need to address it and move the stress out. Talking to someone is the easiest thing to do. And are crying, singing, dancing, moving, just moving, walking, going by water, sitting and listening to the water. Anything that causes you to move and do something is going to engage in something that's going to help you. Okay. Awesome. All right. Doctor Wade, so your organization, you've been doing a lot of training. Yes. And you just mentioned just before the interview that you were in Pungoma, and you've helped girls there with sanitary towels. So usually a girl coming from that kind of background, you know, there's the shame that's associated with periods. And then them coming to the city when they get an opportunity, and then the culture shock that's there, you know, it sort of affects them mentally and the esteem. So how would you advise? Oh, goodness. I think if you, what we told the girls is to keep moving forward, keep furthering your education, but to also talk to other people, seek out your dreams, really focus on what you want to do with your life. And don't be afraid to pursue those dreams and goals. Seek help. I'm reiterating this for a reason. Reach outside of yourself. Don't be afraid to cry because I saw some of the girls in that community cry. Oh, goodness. It broke my heart, but it warmed my heart, too, because they weren't afraid to show that emotion with us. To the boys in that area, support the girls with their dreams, with feminine products. Don't stigmatize that the normal human biological thing that we've been given by God. So to really focus on I am worthy, I have value, and to really target that shame and guilt. There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says I did something bad. Shame says I am bad. Really be mindful of that. All right. Okay. I'll take a note of that. Okay. Yeah. To engage you, you'll have to see on that. Yeah. We had a great time with the girls, and I think the shame and guilt, it's unfortunate. And we keep going back to normalizing the conversation. It's okay to have personal products. We all need them, right? All the girls. And our men, the boys, our uncles and cousins, and nephews should be proud of buying those products for your nieces, okay? It helps. Yes. We need to keep our girls, we need them to look up. Yeah. Yeah. The girls have dreams. And it was so beautiful to just listen to them, talk about their potential, their goals in life. And the beauty of this was we had law enforcement officers actually take the lead to give the sanitary towels. Wow. That's the big brothers supporting the girls. I think to me that was the highlight. Yes. Yeah. I agree. So we need to also bridge the gap between the law enforcement and the community so we can normalize the conversation and humanize this whole life issues. They're not issues actually. That's who we are. Right. We cannot run away from it. Right. Yeah. Now, before we come to a close in this conversation, for girls and boys in the African setup, the different challenges that they face. So my question is mental resilience for men as compared to ladies, how different is it? Resilience is how you move through, how you push through issues and still come out stronger on the other side than you were going into it. Okay. That's the resilience. The one thing about men is men have challenges talking about what's going on. And so, and they keep things to themselves typically more than women do. Women, we just talk. Yes. We just talk. And we will just, and we'll say how are you my sister? What's going on? I see some things wrong. You know, what's going on? And we talk. We cry. We'll get it out. But it's still moving on what you're supposed to move on, on what you said you're going to do. And not forgetting to have, you know, to keep those dreams in front of you. But there's a big difference in how men and women, and then the stigma that comes with it. You know, men, if you cry, you know, you're not man enough. That's just a lie straight from the pit of hell. It is, it is not true. That is not true. People, feelings, when you hurt, you hurt. Men are women. You can cry. Yeah. So men can cry. Men can cry. It's okay to show off. All right. What about women that this stages of life, especially when you're getting to marriage, you know, the expectations, you know, when you get married, I leave sometimes. So when they get to, when they get to go to marriage, this expectation that you're supposed to have children, and this, it has been fertility week. So I want you to address it. So, you know, you expect her to get children, and maybe you're having a challenge with that. So how do you ignore the voices around you and just focus? Yeah. Oh, do you want me to answer? Okay. Yeah. I want you to be mindful of that shame and guilt. So this has nothing, nothing, nothing to do with fertility issues, anything like that. And I know from what I'm learning about the culture is children are a big important part of the culture. As many cultures, our culture is the same way. But this has nothing to do with your worth and value as a person. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. It doesn't happen when you want it to. It may not happen naturally at all. And you still have to know that you have worth and value, even when you hear all those voices around you. Yes. And to add on to that, our brain is not completely developed until we're 25 to 30 years old. Right. Yes. Think about that. How many of us, including myself, had children before you were 25 with an incomplete brain? You were not able to process like you're supposed to. So it's important to remember that. And just to think that with maturity comes wisdom and how I can relate and talk to this young person that I've now brought into the world. All right. Awesome. This is so good. Yeah. I think there's no need to be pressured by the society. Right. If you're, you know, when somebody is married, I want to believe that they have their own personal conversations. Sometimes we don't know why people, you know, have a delay in, you know, pregnancy or having children and all of that. So we need to give people a break. I just want to say, give me a break. Give people a break. Give me a break. Because you don't know what I'm struggling with. It could be health, physical health issues, other issues. And children, they are a gift from God. So it's God who decides. Right. Exactly. Bottom line. Yes. And it's also personal. Right. And also let the older cancel or encourage the younger. Right. Exactly. Instead of the shaming and guilt. Yes. We just need to stop. Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. So now I am tempted to ask another question. I want to close it. There's one thing. Let me see if I miss it. It's easy. You know, you've said, talk to someone. Talk to someone. So maybe you're that friend who's always been talking to you. And maybe you're not going through stuff. But does that affect you at some point? What do you need them out? How do you let it out yourself? Yes. Do you know secondary trauma? You're not only traumatized by what you see or witness yourself, but you can get traumatized by what you hear and read from other people. So it's important to understand that when people are talking to you and talking to you about their issues, it can traumatize you. No, it will traumatize you too. So you've got to understand that when they're talking to you, you can show empathy, but not accept and absorb everything that they're saying to you. That's really important. Yes. Please. It's also called compassion fatigue. Yes. As a mental health counselor. So it happens to us professionals as well. It's sometimes it's just too, too much. Yes. So I encourage you to still be a warm, inviting friend and family member, but you have to have that boundary of to say, you know what? I think I need some extra help here. Maybe you need to talk to your pastor or someone who can better help as well. Okay. So you also need to talk to someone. Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. So now let me ask you to give each one of you actually to give one last advice for the youth that are watching. Last advice, you are unstoppable. Yeah. The only person who can stop you is you. That's right. You matter. Yes. And therefore keep fighting a good fight. Be your own advocate. And don't stop your dreams. That's right. Yes. Awesome. I love that. Yes. And I would say you're not alone. Yes. There are people who care about you. People you don't even know who are praying for you today for your dreams for tomorrow. So just know. And if you find one person who supports you, you are rich. Wow. That's true. Lovely. Yeah. So two things. I want to reiterate the importance of movement. You asked earlier about men and women, the difference in resiliency. Yeah, yeah. It's interesting mental toughness. If you participate in sports, you're in movement walking. Yeah. You can develop your mental toughness as a female as much as a male. So it's equal. The research shows that. And then just to reiterate also you have worth, value, do not give up. Please reach out to someone because someone cares. Okay. Wow. I love all this. I'm taking them all home with me. I hope that you have taken key points from this lovely conversation. Thank you very much, ladies, for coming on board today. Thank you. Thank you. All right. And advice for the youth. Okay. So I've been joined by Dr. Wade, Dr. Dawson, and Dr. Wangeshi, all from the Kenya Alliance for Mental Health, advocating for, you know, mental wellness. That's what they're about. Thank you for staying tuned in this particular conversation. We're going to take a short break. And then we're going to come back with another conversation. Stick with us.