 Hey, good morning. Just a sec. Let me unplug my headphones. Welcome to Sunday morning coffee close to afternoon-ish on above-life channel. Hey Yeah, it's Memorial Day weekend, and I'm here live. I'm just gonna double-check the sound quality here. I just plugged in my microphone, so I want to make sure it sounds good. Welcome to above-life channel. Appreciate you being here. Oh, of course I'm gonna get my YouTube going here. Good morning-ish. Where I'm at, it's still the morning. I'm in the central time zone. I'm in the central time zone. Oh good. I can hear me. Good morning. Hi. Nice to see you. Oh, I forgot my glasses. Dang it. I'm gonna say hi to Rubble. Let's see. Hello in the chat. Hey, Anna. Nice to see you. Hello, life. Nice to see you. Okay, let's make sure that we monitor and manage the chat in a way. This chat will go on the live replay as well. So if you are watching and you don't want to be hello down the chat, let me know. I'm today, I'm gonna eat while we're talking lemon bar anyone. Would you like a lemon bar? Mmm. Very good. Mmm-hmm. I worked already this morning. I walked to the dog. I had a session with someone on the east coast and I've had coffee. I've got my coffee now also. Mmm. Cheers. Whether you're having water or tea or whether you're watching this live or not. Hello. I'm gonna have a lemon bar that is gluten-free. Got it at the local bakery yesterday when I was in town running errands and stuff and went for a walk and got some more lemon lemon bar. Mmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. Mmm. A little zest to my morning. Mmm-hmm-hmm. Like I'm pre-gaming lunch, I guess. So today, I am coming at you on Sunday of Memorial Weekend. Memorial Weekend is a holiday here in the United States. And we have like a long weekend and Mondays off and stuff and a lot of for a lot of people. Not everybody. Not everybody. Some people have to work. Mmm-hmm. Some people got to work. Today, I'm going to my brother's house for a barbecue. Hang out with the cousins. My siblings, because my sister, who might be watching, I don't know, is back in town. She now lives here once again. Mmm-hmm. Are we going to have a fun summer? Yes, yes, we are. Yes, we are. So I hope so anyway. That's the intent, right? Have a good summer. And kicking it off with a barbecue with my family is great. And my mom's in town still too, so that's nice, you know. We're going to go through this huge box that I got from the funeral my uncle gave to me for my grandma's funeral last week and huge box of pictures. Huge, like gargantuan. How fun is that going to be? The first thing I saw was a picture of my brother at my cousin's wedding. He had to been like seven or eight with my, with our cousin. And then the second one I saw was cheerleading fritters from like the 80s, the late 80s, my sister and I. Oh my God. So fun. All right, so today we're going to use this, our time together. I'm going to reflect a little back. Reminisce a bit. This podcast is called The Topic is Last Year. Because last year at this time, think about it. Stop for a minute. I'm shaking my fork at you. Think about it right now. Where were you this time last year? It was end of May 2022. Where were you? Do you remember what you did that weekend? Did you work? Did you hang out with family? Did you have kids coming home from college? Were you moving? What were your relationships like? Who was in your life? May of 2022. Who were you hanging out with? Who was close to you? Yeah, think about that for a moment. Maybe you were on a trip. Maybe you're traveling camping something. I know exactly where I was and I'm going to talk about it. And maybe it'll inspire you. Look at the sunshine today. Is that amazing? So I'm going to lick this. I'm going to lick it. I'm actually, if I am, it's lemon, a lemon bar. Very good. I have to. This is not an ASMR channel. Is that what they call them? Hmm. But this lemon is so good. Oh my gosh. Okay. You know, I just, I had to do that for all of us. Right? Okay. So I'm going to tell you exactly where I was at. Let me just adjust. I got a new chair. Did you notice? You don't miss my new chair? See if I can adjust it. Oh, I am as high as, I'm as low as I can go. I'm as low as I can go. Not really, but you know, I was on a walk. I went on a walk down the street here. Had my backpack, with my water, my hat, my sunglasses, and went down to the lake that I often would go to and walk and connect with nature. And it was a busy weekend, but it wasn't, it wasn't too busy. It wasn't like I expected. And what I did was, I had had a meditation that morning or the day before, maybe even it was, I can't remember the exact timing of things, but I had connected with my dad, who had told me specifically to prepare. This was in May of 2022, the end of May. And I'm like, what? And I thought, oh, okay, this makes sense because I knew that two months from then, I would be feeling into the energy of 20 years since his departure, since he died, 20 years ago at that time. And so when I heard the advice from him that said, prepare, prepare, I took my essential oils and I went down to the dock by the river. And I, because the river, the lake's on one side, there's a dam and then there's a river on the other side. So I went to the river and sat on this new cedar dock and it smells so good that cedar smell that just, oh, smelled so good. And I took out my essential oils, I put my feet in the water and let the water rush over my feet. I sat there for a while just releasing whatever I needed to release so that I could be pure and pure apart and open, trying so hard not to hang on like the rushing waters of the river to not hang on too much to things because my life had already been in a massive change cycle since the beginning of that year at the very least, more since the summer of 2021. And it was really coming into just the throws of things. And my relationships were changing drastically and and on levels that I couldn't comprehend or even fathom and things I was sensing or picking up on and yet also very much in my own just spinning, falling, free-falling state, trying so hard to just be present and just keep going, getting up each day and one foot in front of the other. And looking at the preparation of the milestone moment, I saw it as a catalyst moment, I guess you could say with my dad to really reflect back on life and how much life I've lived since that time and part of it was a gratitude. And I actually coined a phrase, I called it a healing journey. In fact, I was there and I did, I think it was on Instagram because I wasn't on TikTok at that point. I was on Instagram and on my Bridget inspired on Instagram and probably on Facebook, Bridget inspired as well. I shared that I'm on a personal healing journey and it's starting now. And it just was a spontaneous kind of thing that unfolded. And it was inspired by that message from my dad to prepare. And then to look at the summer, which I love summer so much. It's the warm weather, the sunshine, the light, the nature, the greenery, the trees, the birds, all of it and really utilize it for my personal benefit to really free myself from the confines or restrictions that I've created for myself all that time for those 20 years since. So if you're not familiar with my story, look on above life channel and look at the playlist for my psychic stories or my psychic things that make me psychic, etc. I can't think of what the exact name of the playlist is, but it's about my personal stuff about being psychic and what it means. And two years after my dad died is when I literally had a major monumental experience where I literally opened the floodgates and I hadn't even been to a psychic before. And all of a sudden I was doing mediumship. It just kind of happened this one weekend and happened after I buried my dad's ashes. Yeah, we buried the ashes two years after it was it's a whole thing. And my mom was moving out of our childhood home and she needed somebody had to take care of the ashes and I'm the oldest of the three kids. So it falls to me. I'm the one that handles that. And so it was just this whole experience. And I document it really well in my story on the video. And at that time I was married to my first husband and I had had my third child then and my life was just in such a different place. I was working in human resources. I was a human resource development coordinator at a large government organization. And I was just in such a different place. And I hadn't even grieved my dad's death really. And then all of a sudden I was talking to dead people and going on this journey of learning about myself and knowing myself in ways that I didn't know I hadn't met that part of myself. I thought it was normal. I had tons of paranormal and psychic experiences growing up. But I thought that was just normal. Not weird normal. I thought I really really thought people just that just happens to people. I didn't think it was that all that special. I just thought it was normal. And went through a time where I had to learn about myself and discover myself and really believe more in myself and trust myself very deeply because people around me didn't necessarily understand or trust my my psychic abilities my intuition the things that were happening to me. And it was just such a journey. And that moment after my dad's death and two years later it was just such a defining time in my life. And I had no idea. It took two years to even start the process. Okay. So then coming full circle at this moment where I was last year in May being told by him to prepare I was like okay you're going on a journey. I'm like okay it's good thing I had my essential oils my emerald temple oils by the way my priestessing oils let me show you they're on my altar space we've got courage right here in fact let's do this together while we're talking how about we do this courage oil and put that on my feet smells a bit like a campfire so it's appropriate for this weekend because usually memorial weekend is about campfires bonfires cooking out grilling going to do that today put on my feet. And I was very aware in that moment that I was gifted I had been gifted so many tools on this journey this journey of life this 20 year journey since that defining moment and we have in our lives you guys many defining moments many life altering crossroads that we are always we are brought to this precipice where we're like afraid to make the wrong choice but yet you can't go forward anymore straight ahead and just numbingly move you have to choose even if you don't feel like you have the faculties to choose you have to choose which way to move next to go and we do the best we can please know you're not being led astray ever by your intuition by your gut sense by your knowing by your visitations from your loved ones from your angels from your spirit guides you are never led astray so if you feel like you can't trust that knowing that inner wisdom it's because we've been taught to rely more on our intellect and rational thinking which is why we overthink which is why we get anxiety which is why we are victims to that free fall of depression the truth is you can trust yourself and if it feels like it's the wrong choice you made you made the wrong choice but at the moment at the time you were fully present with all the information you had and you made the best choice you could and you are accountable for those choices in those moments and if you can forgive yourself when you don't trust yourself and your intuition and you do something anyway that you know is not right for you can you forgive yourself in those moments that's what healing is it is forgiveness when we are falling over ourselves and tripping over ourselves and not trusting our intuition that's when we need forgiveness for ourselves that's what we need is that that compassion because we make mistakes we make bad choices but the goal isn't to make the good choice or the right choice it's to make the choice that's aligned the alignment the one that honors you not a craving in a moment not a self-medicated choice a numbing choice i just got off from a session with someone and she was talking about how um she's numbed her pain so much and how she's self-medicated i said i can relate to that we can all relate to that if you can relate to that put a heart in the chat and let that heart symbolize the energetic of forgiveness of humanness of kindness to yourself of compassion to yourself of empathy inward and if you're going to fuck things up and you're going to do it over and over and over again is anybody in here an addiction or recovery congratulations on your sobriety one day at a time just today one step at a time and if you have slid and you're off path start anew forgive yourself and start today fresh if you've made choices in your relationships where you have not been in your on on integrity and you know that there's a higher purpose a greater understanding and integration of the lessons from making those choices that you know we're not the best for you you know the truth is the pain you feel right now the suffering you feel like right now the guilt you feel right now from those choices that you know we're not the best for you is because you are hurting you you hurt you in that process and we have to come to terms with that thing of how hard it is to just let go when we know it's not good for us it's not no longer an alignment when it's no longer serving and move on and integrity move ahead step ahead take the turn follow around the bend you're not going to know the answers it's not going to be clearly laid out but if you don't awaken to the recognition of these defining moments and these invitations like such I had last summer with the healing journey I went on to prepare the invitation to prepare instead of getting scared and ignoring and avoiding it I leaned in and I had some people in my life that were not happy what's this healing journey what are you doing what's wrong what's going on why don't you tell me it's like it's not about you it's not about other people it's about you the things you do do affect other people your kids your family your co-workers your job your community yes and we see that every day it plays out in the news media doesn't it or on tiktok instagram facebook etc what we do affects other people and impacts so take accountability but don't punish yourself free yourself as quickly as possible from the entanglement of guilt and shame that manipulates you and then you're susceptible to and vulnerable to other relationships that are just going to repeat the past codependent commingled co overthinking vibe that are used to and it's nobody's fault but it is your wisdom and your choice to trust in yourself and to choose yourself over anybody else any situation or circumstance over anybody else people will judge you the world will judge you you don't need to judge you stop with the self sabotage stop with the self judgment I look back in last year the summer was a hard hard time for me I you know some of you may know I lost my beloved diamond my little miniature dachshund but I also had so many ups and downs so many milestone moments crossing the threshold of the summer solstice was really hard for me in 2022 it was heart wrenching stepping into july into the fourth of july weekend and then deeper into the month to the 15th the 17th the 22nd the 23rd the 24th it was on the 13th that diamond crossed over and I was so busy online so busy doing things online that I almost missed her transition but I didn't I was present so there are these major moments that you will always remember milestone moments that you wish you could have done things differently don't stay too long in that don't get into the self pity oh poor me I'm such a victim I I just make bad choices oh it's just the way it is I just make bad choices I really know how to pick them that's an excuse the victim excuse the I am not what happened to me I am not a reflection of the relationship I'm in right now I am not a reflection of the marriage I was in previously my first one I'm not a reflection of that divorce am I do I look like that to you right now last summer was really hard for me and I was in disney world on the 20th anniversary of my dad's death I had a massive clearing the day before on the 31st of july one that I will never forget it really rocked me to my core in ways I never I wouldn't let myself believe were possible you know and then I had to face my reality and face my own judgment and question how I live my life how am I living my life how am I in what ways am I not being true to myself and what ways am I not choosing myself and then I came home from that trip to Florida with COVID yeah and that month was a massive shift here for me that was when I moved downstairs my house yeah lived there ever since and when dad said to prepare I didn't quite know what he meant I thought he meant prepare for the trip start clearing all you can it was gut wrenchingly emotional it was a turbulent time for me friendships came and went left actually I had some major relationships leave people leave my life just very dramatically shockingly and sometimes you just won't things will just won't make sense and you'll never have a piece about that there won't be that sense of closure or but you can relieve yourself from judgment about not knowing I should have known that about that person I should have known I should have known you couldn't relieve yourself from judgment from that and just let it be can't go back to the past and change it but you can go with the integration of the integrity of the truth of who you are and what you've learned about yourself what have you learned what have you learned in this healing journey what have you learned on this part of your life journey that's the point so on this Memorial Day weekend I'm having some memories I am I have a ton of gratitude for my current partner the person that is my husband right now and he might be watching right now but he has been so such a trusted companion for me and I just want to I mean say thank you because as we've been navigating the incredible turbulent times that we've been in and the choices I've made that have hurt him deeply and yet he still is in support and a loving companion for me as I move ahead in my own life now in my own next section of life as an independent sovereign person so thank you for your support I appreciate it you will always always be my bestest friend for sure so and family so now we got to get going because we are going to barbecue and gonna be with family today and then next week and stepping into June there's a lot going on for me in June so lots to be shared here on above life channel on youtube and on my new channel as well as you will see in the coming days in the coming weeks I look forward to meeting you again re-meeting you yeah so as for scheduling purposes this weekend tomorrow monday memorial day we are going to do a channeling yes we are I'm not sure exact time might be 10 might be 11 central time and of course we're going to do Tina because I saw her in the kitchen on saturday I think it was saturday no it would have been friday but I didn't have time to channel because I was doing too many things I already had stuff planned I couldn't like cancel my appointments and do it so I'm gonna do it tomorrow so put on your heels I'll see you tomorrow I hope I've inspired your spirit filled you with some hope encouraged you to love yourself a little more to be okay with wherever you're at to release some of the judgment and the self-evaluation and the critical thinking if you need help to do that grab some essential oils go for a walk in nature put your feet in the water let it clear you cleanse you bring you down to earth again once again our lives are filled with moments choose yourself choose you in loving ways over and over and over again and when it's hard when it's really hard to do that right thing which is to choose yourself and what you know is true do it have the courage to do it have the confidence to do it choose yourself you can love yourself more than anybody else ever could do that first over and over and over again as a priority so I hope we've filled you with hope today to live your life after all this is your life and you get to live it just let it thanks for being here