 Hi there, my name's Dean. I'm from London, London, England and I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss my experiences with narcissism. A lot of people on this channel have spoken about having a narcissistic partner, which is usually a story, but mine was a little bit different. My narcissism was actually someone who I felt was a friend of mine, a long-term friend, a friend who I believe would be a confidant and turns out I was wrong. But this way they said it that never work with friends. It never ends well. Should have healed the wound. I met my friend all the way back in 2005 at football. He was from a mutual friend and it was like a group of them. Out of all the group, he was a key cappy. Always had that sort of banter. Like he was always the prancer. Always good for a laugh. But at the same time he was kind of like the leader of the group. Every time he said something, everyone would stand to reason. Every time he had a plan, everyone would come. I kind of admired that kind of quality because I never had that quality growing up because I didn't have the confidence to have that sort of quality growing up. As years passed, it started at football. Then we had days in. We've had nights out. We had days out from computer games at his house, to bowling, to drinks at night. That sort of thing. Also as years passed, while I was either at university or in and out of work, he was solid in his job and he had for himself. Every time I came to his house, I always noticed that he had the newest fashions. He had the newest tech. He had a car. He had dogs. He had the coolest parents. I admired him because he's the kind of environment that I knew that someone could really grow from. I never had that growing up. I'm going to be honest with you. I kind of admired him for that too. As years passed, again, I was in and out of work. I think it was in late 2011. He came to me asking me whether I'd be interested in joining security with him because that was his job, by the way. He was in security. That's why he's able to afford all the stuff that he has. I was intrigued because the money was definitely appealing. At the same time, I wanted to do my own thing. I was in my own jobs. I had endless interviews. I never got went anywhere. Ultimately, I did get a job late in 2011. I was working in a gadget shop, which was a pretty good job. That's not the point. It was in 2012 when I decided to jump over to join security. It all started with a course, which I passed. The situation happened where it was a criminal situation. Things got held up. Then I got another job. I ended up getting a job working in a gadget store, which again was pretty cool. As time passed, I came to realize that my job was kind of, as far as requirements, but it was late in 2014 when I moved to a brand new company. Because it was more close to home, it was perfect for him. Also during his time, his new boss asked him if there was any people who would be interested in joining too. He put my name up. They got in contact with me. I met them. I had to fill out a few forms. I got back to them and that was it. I was in. I started in October 2014. Then I went to the job. I did a bit of training. I did the job. I'm not going to say I was the best, but people make mistakes and I did make mistakes. I messed up, but nobody's perfect and we're all human. I had his position. I lost it. I ended up moving from place to place until I ended up landing at his site. I ended up landing on his team where he was supervisor and I was under him. Again, I wasn't perfect. There were times where I didn't do everything correctly, but again, I'm used to the job. Who's perfect? Who gets it right the first time around? Then there were times where I messed up and he criticized me for it. I put my hands up and maybe their dues. I did need to step up and be better, which is what I resolved to do. At time pass, I came to realize that there was more to him than what I previously thought. That there was more to his character where he started acting out of the way which I didn't like. I'll give you an example. There was one time there was a leaving party and he expected me to be there at a particular time and I was late because I wanted to get a haircut because I wasn't going to get a haircut because I wanted to look presentable for the party. The moment he met me, he started turning on me, getting nasty, slagging me off and saying some nasty things. Then he walked away and I was there thinking who are you? At time pass, things happened. It was 2016 where it was the start of things. We went on holidays twice that year. First was in August, it was a bit of a day in Paris and it was during this time again he started acting in a controlling way. It was my idea for me, him and a friend of a friend of ours to go to Paris and he was controlling the entire thing even though it was my idea and I didn't like that. Also it was the case of first of all it was my idea to book a day in Paris but then I did that and then time pass and then before we went he started speaking about how we could have made it a few more days, we could have made it a couple of days, we could have stayed over but I was there thinking but then if this was the case why don't you bring this up before we went, before I book the tickets which would have made a lot more sense. But yeah he was kept talking on about it but at the end of the day it's too late because the tickets had already been booked so there's nothing I could do. Anyway we spent the day in Paris I thought it was amazing, it was amazing time. I believe it was actually the first time I was out of the country, out of this country in over 20 years believe it or not. But it was an amazing experience and it was a beautiful city. Then believe it or not it was like buses, two came at once, me, him, a couple of others who we worked with, we all went to Madeira, just before Christmas, two of them are actually from Madeira or half-married family from Madeira and again during this time it was again it was an amazing place, a beautiful place and because we had a car, they hired a car to take us all over the place because they didn't have like a frequent travel schedule. They didn't have like a frequent bus route or train service so they had to hire a car to take us from A to B. But again during this time he was acting in a way where he started being all controlling and nasty and manipulative and he started acting in a way which I was left thinking again who are you. Anyway we had that and then it was 2017 where things changed as far as I was concerned because during this time I think it was in 2015 2016 where I felt that everything that I was doing wasn't quite, it didn't really work out for me. So I came up with a plan. I started, I embarked on a journey of personal development and it all started with and and my way of doing it may be a little bit unorthodox because I because I thought that the people like Eva had the confidence and they basically just get what they want and some people some some people don't. I'm number two and so I came up with a plan to learn the skills to be able to to get to that place and it started with YouTube videos and it evolved from there. They went towards books, audiobooks, courses, webinars and the likes. But on this journey of doing this I spent more time doing that and spend less time with my friend and he knew and he noticed that and he won and was he happy about that? No he wasn't but I didn't understand why because at the end of the day it was I mean it's not like it's not like he didn't have his own life to live. He's not like he didn't have his own friends, he didn't have his own things to carry out so I didn't see it as a big deal. But anyway this is why I decided to focus on and for some reason he was he was unhappy. He started making snyder remarks about the fact that I don't know he probably thought I was abandoned in him. And then the remarks became more and more frequent until the point where is that I decided that I wanted to bring him into the folders to what I'm doing with what I'm doing is the reason why I have been so distant. So I told him about it and thinking because in the past he has he has been so supportive because situations have happened that he's supported me through it. So I thought he would support me through this as well. But was he supportive? No. But was he supportive? No he wasn't. In fact when I told him about what I was doing he found it stupid. In these words he said he was stupid, ridiculous and it was never gonna work. And since then after that after that he would embark on a campaign where not only would he continue to remind me of this but he would start to come in a lot more controlled and he would start doing things where he would, it's kind of like he was trying to get my attention but he was doing it in a way which was completely nasty. He would gas like me, he would insult me, put me down, he would he would he would commit to gaslighting actions and the likes. I'll give an example. It was at the beginning of 2017 after our holiday in Madeira. We had a conversation about where to go to next and I was fixated in going to Spain and I pinpointed where I was to go. I want to go to Barcelona but he wasn't about that. He said he wasn't about going to Barcelona. He said he wanted to go to the Canary Islands or something like that. Anyway we had this long drawn out conversation and it didn't go anywhere but he revaled that we would have his conversation later. But that conversation never happened because of this situation where we ended up where things happened and where it's like he where he's where things started falling apart. Anyway month later I go to I decided I wanted to go to Barcelona because it was it was June the beginning of the summer. I was the wolf, the wolf in the air, the birds were singing out. I was just feeling the vibe of wanting to go. I know for a while that he didn't want to go because he already told me that he didn't want to go. So I decided to book some tickets and I decided to go by myself. So I go by myself. With all the bells and whistles, I had an amazing time. And then I come back afterwards, a few days, about a week later, I come back to work. And he shows up because my team was on the day shift. His team was on the night shift. So he comes in for his night shift. He looks at me in a with a school face and he's all he's all snapping at me. Like shouting at me. All happy. He's saying I can't believe we went to Barcelona without me. And then I made him aware that he had already told me that he never wanted to go to Barcelona in the first place. So which is why I told him and then he responded with I want to go everywhere. So now here's the thing that I don't understand, right, is that he was he what months ago, months prior, New Year 2017, he told me he didn't want to go to Barcelona. He had no aspirations to go to Barcelona. But I go to Barcelona a few months later and he already has already and he really changed his mind. I don't even think about that. But um, one of the things that I that I came to to discover about him, which was the reason why we felt what I think fair the part is he started becoming a lot more controlling. He would he became into actions where he was, he was trying to control how how I live my life. I'll give you examples being because I tend to work out at home. I had I had a co worker he he he wanted he spoke to me about the possibility of me working out in the gym with him. And I said no, because I was happy with the workouts I was in at home. He was he wouldn't he wouldn't instigate himself and tell me, oh, we'll tell it saying, oh, you're working out at home. But it's not working because you look at you still you still have a shape. Well, which is nice thing for for friends to say to another one, isn't it? Other things including other things including he would also embark on trying to undercut me in regards to this, this person development journey I've been going on, making fun of it. Like he was trying like, I thought he was trying to discourage me from doing it, which which is surprising to me because for me, for me, I don't know about you, but when you're friends with someone, I want to expect your friend, I want to spend my friends if I'm doing something that was meant to be designed to be positive and good and for the way good. I expect my friends to be happy for me and support me and motivate me and drive me to make make make the whole thing happen. I had his vision. I was hoping that in fact, I was hoping that this is something we could have done together. But I guess not. I would say the last straw for me was what was um, what was there's this one task that I used to do or what I did at work when I when I was there. And it's like, it was outside of the task I was expected to do. It was part of the one part of the job on in the site. And and I was in a task which was outside the box of what my tasks are, especially to be done. But it led towards the time efficiency of the job. It gave it made sure, but me doing it made sure that everyone got the task done a lot quicker, which is good. And I did this. I did this. I use this little thing that I guess on with a few of my supervisors. I think I was five or six of them. And and no one had a problem with it. I I know no one had a problem with it. I even got a few thank yous for it. My my supervisor at the time. Um, I actually saw supervisor, you know, it's a long story. My supervisor at the time I was having problems with because I felt that he was becoming a bit. I thought that he was he is actually in a narcissistic way. I thought that he was being a narcissistic bully too. But even he came to me and told me where to figure a fee way to use some initiative. But my friend bear in mind that my friend wasn't wasn't one of the supervisors I utilize this with. He had no connection with my super my team in any way shape or form. But yet in his mind, he decided that because in his mind that he felt that my doing this task was wrong, that he thought that he needed to tell me about it. He needs to make a big issue over it. But at the end of the day, right? He had nothing to do with him. So the fact that he had no that he had very little respect for me to in a in a structured imagination, stay in his lane, or mind his own business, he wouldn't do that. He kept harping on and on and on about this whole is this ring that I was doing. Despite the fact, he had nothing to do with it. So I grew fed up by him keep kept doing it. So I so I took him outside one time and I issued him a warning not to do it again. Not only did he do it again. He did again four days later. I mean, this time he elevates it to a point where he pretty much embarrassed me for everyone. He embarrassed me for all all of our coworkers who is there he he shafted me for everyone over, shuffling me for everyone, show me I'm from everyone and he storms out of the room like like he's some sort of master. And it was at that point where I I had enough. So after that, I caught time on our friendship. I spoke to him and told him, you know what, our friendship is not. And I walked out, he kind of come after me and and speak to me and like try to to talk talk to me and resolve his issue. But but that was it as far as I was concerned, because it is like if he really wanted if he actually regarded our friendship a lot more, then he then he would have then he would have stopped doing it. But he he would have stopped doing what he did. But he did it anyway. And then after that, what happened after that was, was that there was this there was this path that that would that would that he would embark on, where he was, where he was one minute, he would say how sorry is for what he did. That was a big misunderstanding. How it was a big mistake. How how we can sort this out, we can sort this through. And how we can and this is a phrase I look back now and I and it makes me six of us done thinking about how we can fight for our friendship. But in the meantime, while he was talking about how we can fight for our friendship, he would continue to to come at me if I ever whether that'd be privately or privately or publicly, he would continue to insult me and put me down. So one minute he's telling me over the we can sort this out, we can fight it. So we can we can sort this out between us. We can fight for our friendship. Next minute he would insult me for put a barrage of insults, making fun of me pulling me down saying how how how much of a screw up I am how how no girl will take me seriously how I mean, it was it was it was too much. And then 2018 hit. And you know, and then what happened was, was that it was becoming too much not because of him, but it was also because of my supervisor, where I decided that enough was enough. And initially, I was going to quit my job. I was going to resign and I was going to leave. You know, I thinking maybe I was a bit bit hasty. But then I saw this video, which changed everything for me. And it was probably one of the spots videos I've ever seen. And instead of asking and instead of resigning for a post, I suppose my security manager, because I was unhappy with the situation that was transpiring in the in the building. And rest assured, rest assured, everyone knew about it. My manager knew about it. The building manager knew about it. And even the higher ups knew about it. And so, so ultimately, I spoke to my manager and I told him that I wanted to transfer out to the building, because it was becoming too much. And I just couldn't handle all the, the, the, the toxic environment that was embarking on around there. And initially, my, my, my, my, my manager at the time wanted me to think about it. But I, I said, I had my mindset set up. I made my mind made up. So we go into 2018. And he was still doing, doing all the, all the nasty stuff. And, but, but one day, one night, I remember his one night, I think it was in February. And it was a snowy night. And, and all the night shift. And my, my mate was covering on my, on my team that night. And he comes to me, like, apparently, appearing on the level. And he told me how he find, he, he, he found out, he discovered that I asked to leave the site. And he told, he tried to tell me that I'm making a big mistake. Now, I, I know for a fact that that I didn't buy what he was, I didn't buy what he was selling. So I just totally rebuffed what he had to say. And this is, this is, this is the kickoff. He told me that after this, he said, because I wouldn't, I wouldn't bow down to his request, I should, should we consider my decision to leave. He wanted me to pay back the money that he, he paid for me in regards to my security job, like my security course. Despite the fact that every, there was many occasions when I told him, when he told me, after I offered him to give him his money back, he'd always say, don't worry about it, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. But all of a sudden, but all of a sudden, now the funk is hit the fan and all of a sudden is now giving my money back. Funny how that works, isn't it? Anyway, months passed. Anyway, I had, I had to continue engaging in a situation where I was trying to do my job the best of my ability. But yet I had to encounter both my, my mate and my supervisor who, who was treating me so horribly. And it's like, I, it's like, I had, and, and yeah, the other times where I succumbed to it, and I made some tremendous areas of judgment. And that all that did was it became further for them to use against me to to put me down. And then, and obviously, and also because of the situation that happened, I ended up, I ended up getting hurt by my, I ended up getting disciplined by my, my bosses for the act as I committed to. And I put my, and I raised my hands and I accepted the consequences. Anyway, times passed and I was still going through this whole situation when one day my, the building manager spoke to me and he told me there's this brand new site that was opened in an upsuit. And I accept it up. I said, I accept. And then he told, he gave me a few, he gave me some information about what the site was going to entail and what it was, especially on me. And he, he wouldn't even know when, when, when training is happening. Now, now, as far as my friend goes, he knew that he's, he's consistent, like trying to convince me that we could save our friendship. He wasn't working. So guess what happened? So enter the flying monkeys. One which was I felt was I was disappointed by because, because he, because she was one of the cleaners there. Sweet old African woman. We always, we go on about the house on fire, had a great rapport. And we always, we, we always get, get along because one of the things that things that we, we have in common was the fact that we share the same birthday. And we always had, and we always, and I always come in every year, bringing some cake. That's a, that's a, that's sharing, sharing occasion. Anyway, she, she jumped on the bandwagon and, and, and spoke to me telling me how I, how I should sort this out with my mate, which I, which I, which I was absolutely dismissive of until, and then when I spoke to her one time, or one of the things that he did, which included sending me a nasty, nasty text. She stopped, she stopped, she stopped. She didn't, she didn't get, she didn't get involved after that. Unfortunately, there was another one where who got involved, which was a super, which was a security, security officer that was on his team. And he, he too was coming to me telling me how I should give my, give my mate a chance. And even, and then I spoke to him, told him about the situation and, and the things that he was doing. And lo and behold, the next thing I would know was, was that the next time I would see my supervisor, the next thing I would see my mate, everything that I, I told to, to that security officer who was, who was trying to convince me to sort this out with him, lead back to my mate. And at this point, I just realized that I couldn't be trusted. Now it's a, it's at this point I realized that, that I couldn't trust anyone there, especially him. Um, anyway, I had to go, I had to deal with this whole situation up until it was late, August 2018, when, when I went on holiday for a week, because it was, it was my birthday, so I decided to take the entire week off that week. And it was at this time where I got contact from my, from my, um, that I got, I received contact from my book, from my manager telling me, calling me in to, to, um, do the training for the new site. Which never happened, but because um, things got held up. Anyway, I, everything got held up. But then, then, then I got a second contact, so, second contact after that. And, and my supervisor told me that my, my mate out on the blue was leaving. I, um, I, I never knew the circumstances why, but it just came out of the blue. Just, just out of nowhere. He decided to go back to his old, old company, because, um, because, um, the company that we were with, we were with one company, and then it, then it moved to another company, and it moved to, it moved to another company, and it moved to another company again. And, um, and he went back to his old company out, out of blue, and, and about a week later, he was gone. Um, so that, so that situation, that because he, he was no longer there, but I still had to contend with my supervisor who, who was also, who was also becoming a problem. And then, and then September was an interesting month, that month, that year, because, um, not only did, not only did, did training come up that year, that month, and I actually, and I moved onto the new site, but one of our other colleagues moved, moved on, that was on our team, he moved on too. So, he, he lost two, he said he lost two security officers on, on his team. And, um, so I moved on to the new, uh, as I went for the training, I moved on to the new site and, and I have to say, moving on to the new site was amazing, because, because one of the biggest things that was, that was the best part about it, was that it was a one-man site. During the day, it was, it was, um, reception, and during the night, it was security, and it was me and another guy, um, it was me and another guy who rotated during, um, each week. And it, what, I mean, what, what, I mean, it was such a cool site, because it was ecologically friendly, mixed technology, and the best part about it is, the peace and quiet. The fact that I didn't have anyone sitting there also getting, getting involved in my business, that was the best part about it. Unfortunately, I ended up losing this position form. Unfortunately, I ended up losing this position form last later, because, um, because this is a way, I think, I think it was to do some, like, to do some timekeeping, and fair enough, that's, that's how it goes. But during this time, two things happened. First things first, I started watching videos during one of the last hours on the site. Um, previously I was watching videos about toxic people, negative people, toxic people, um, bullies, emotional vampires, and then, and then we could, then I accidentally changed into the world of narcissism. And once I started watching videos about narcissism, narcissism, everything clicked. And it was like, I felt that, and not only did it click for me in regards to this situation with, not this situation, it also clicked with me for a situation I was, I was dealing with, dealing with prior, because, because I had this, this same type of situation with my sister, with my sister growing up, because, because for some reason I just felt, I, because I was going through a situation with my sister, and, and I came to realize how unbelievably selfish and entitled she was, and, and, and how much of a, a spiteful bully she was at times. And I didn't click what, as to why it was, but I didn't know what it was, but it was like, but it's like, with these videos, um, it all, it all clicked for me. I won't go into what happened with my sister, but I will, what I will say is this, if I told you some of the stories that she did, it would make her toes caught, toes curl and blood boil. And what made even more of a kicker was when I was going through the situation, I had, my, my friend was right there by my side, supporting me, telling me, ignore her, don't worry about her, keep, just keep going, forget about her. I know that my, my friend was also what, was, was, was just as bad, bad as she was. Anyway, like I said, I ended up using the site a few months later, and during this time, no, no, this time, um, a new year, my mate sent me email saying, happy new year, no offence kind of thing, and I just, I just rebuffed him, I shut him down, and then he turns around and starts sending me a nasty message again, nasty message again. Second time I heard from him was after I lost my, my new site and he, and he would, he would, um, send me, um, he would again send me nasty messages, nasty remarks, calling me a screw up, calling me a failure, that kind of thing, and, and it was also, it was also basis accusations in regards to, to the circumstances of why I lost, I lost the site. He, because, because, um, it does one, one guy who, who I also work with, and he, he told him, and he, and he assumes, and he, because he saw some adult stuff on there, that's what his, his, his angle was, but, but I know, but the accusation was completely baseless because, I, I, I know for a fact that, that, that, that, um, that, that his, um, accusation was completely baseless because, quite simply, it, it doesn't matter. But the, but the accusation, but the fact of the matter is that he wasn't there, he, and he didn't have any rights to, to, um, he didn't have any rights to, to remark about it. Anyway, um, anyway, I moved, I lost the position, I had to go to dedicate relief, which is pretty much, I was covering as and when I was needed. And in the end, I, I decided, I ended up leaving six months later because I was not, I was unhappy with the position that they, that they ended up trying to form me off on. And, and it never since then, but, but before that happens, he sent me this message with basis accusations and nasty remarks. Again, it was his usual MO, making fire on me for being there, being there, but, but it was, it was a, it was just so nasty and horrible. But this time, I didn't react in the way that he expected. I, this time, I thanked him for his, um, kind words of motivation and inspiration. And I, and I, I made, and I wrote, I wrote a remark how I appreciated the fact that despite everything that's happened, that he was looking out for me. But I did it in a way where, um, it was a Freudian slip where I, I made it aware that I, I knew, I, I made it aware that, that, uh, that the only person he's thinking about in his whole entire situation is himself. And then, and then after, I think it was about a week later, I'm after, like, my constant watching of, um, last season videos, I decided enough was enough, I needed to go no contacts. So I blocked him from, from email, I blocked his number, I blocked his social media, um, connections. I just, I just, I just, I just quite simply cut him off. And this happened, this happened in, I think it was 2019. I had a couple of jobs, I left the job and I had a couple of jobs after that and then, then, then the lockdown here. And then, and then, and then during this lockdown, during the COVID lockdown, I did go shopping a number of times and there was one time where I actually saw him, um, in, in the local town and I saw him coming out of a local train station and I was on the bus on the way home. I don't think he saw me, but I'd say he looked, looked, looked relatively, um, troubled, shall we say. And, um, that was the last time I ever saw him. That was two years ago. But, but even though this happens, um, that wasn't the end because one of the things that, that I, I went through after the, the, the, the experience was, the biggest thing was for me, rumination. And it was like, I kept going through all the situations that took place and, and it was like, it, I just felt like it was going through my mind again and again and again and again. And I was like, I wish I just had the strength to stand up to him. I wish I had the, I wish I had the words and I wish I, you know, things I could, could have done, done differently. I guess it, I guess it was survival skills, I guess, because it was like, I just, if only after everything that I'm currently, I am, I learned about how to deal, deal, deal with narcissism and that. I was, I was there thinking, I wish I knew this a lot sooner. It could have, it could have saved me so much heartache and, and it's like, I'm, I'm still in, in that place. I mean, I, I finally was able to get past the, past the situation, the, the experience, but my same time is like, my, my journey is not over yet. And I'm still having a situation, but I'm in a better place where I am since I was, I was in a situation. And I've, and I've embarked on, on carrying on, on this, this personal development journey. And, but I'm Saturn because at the end of the day, right? At the end of the day, right, he had everything going for him. And it's like, he had everything going for him, but it was a case that he didn't know how to capitalize on it. He didn't know how to bring it all together. I mean, I have my issues, I have my flaws and I have my weaknesses, but compared to him, but compared to him, I'm pretty much, compared to him, I'm pretty much, I don't know, give me a name of someone who, who has it all. I had to think about that, but give me a name of someone who has it all, who has it all together. Because I'm that guy, especially compared to him. Um, I don't know what to say. I'm sad to put the situation because I wish, I wish, I was having a situation because it was like, we were friends for over 12 years and, and over, over something so completely minor, he just flushed our friendship down the toilet just like that. But that's okay because I came to realize that in life, when you put certain elements on the pressure, you, you, you ultimately see its true value. With sand, you can make the most beautiful shards of glass or these will most beautiful glass sculptures. With rock, when you put rock under heating pressure, you know, comes rock, rock when you put pressure on it, diamonds. With people on their hands, you, you truly see the true value when you put, when, when, when put under pressure, they'll leave a, they'll leave a righteous occasion or they'll, or they'll fall like a bad game and poke off. And my, my make, I see we, my make, I see you fold it. I mean, and they, that's how it goes. Well, I think about, I mean, I can understand that, but one thing I can't understand though is narcissism. Why is control so important? I mean, I mean, when you're unhappy in your own life, right? You're so unhappy in your own life that you have to bring other people down. But I mean, but why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why is it the case that you have to bring other people down when you could, when, when, when could it be a lot more fruitful to just build yourself up, learn to love and accept yourself. And this is something that I have struggled to do in my life, but I'm bound to do that now. This is one of the many things that I have, I'm starting to learn to do in my person on this journey that I'm on. And I'm in a place where I feel that I'm, I feel, I feel great for the first time in my life. I feel great. And as far as our friendship is concerned, I look back now on, on me, me and my friend's friendship. And I can honestly say that our friendship had only ever worked when I felt bad about myself. But as soon as I started making, making moves to improve myself and then all of a sudden he, he was having a problem with that. Like he's the, he's the positive. Like he's negative. Was it the positive, positive police? Whereas like he's saying, oh, he can't do that. Why? Because I was, I'm sad for him because this is the way he choose to, he choose to live his life. But I'm not, but if this is the way he choose to live his life, then, then he can knock himself out. But I, I should, I no longer wish to be like that. I feel, I know, I feel that I'm in a place where I'm finally up and up and I'm making things happen in my life. And I, and I feel happy and positive about that. And I know that I'm gonna, I'm gonna make it. I mean, I mean, I mean, I just, I just, I just, I just recently became 40 now. And it's like, um, and I was, when I knew I was about to become 40, I was, I was freaking out. But I know that I have all the resources with me that I can make the whole thing, whole thing happen from put, from the personal development stuff to the workout stuff. I have quite, I thought I have it all together. And I feel great. And, and I'm, and I thought I'm only getting better. I mean, I have a phrase I use to, to describe the journey, the journey that I'm on. And the phrase is 2.0. I'm, I'm at 2.0. And I'm, and I'm only, and I'm only get, and I'm only getting started. And I mean, I don't have any, I mean, I'm not, I'm not trying to say, I don't have any friends, but I'm hoping one day that I can, I can find that support network who is going to do be that prime force to make this whole, make this whole dream happen. And we'll see. So, I guess that's it. I want to say it's an opportunity to thank you for listening to me and for, for embarking on the story with me. And I, and my advice to you is don't ever think that it's too late to to, to, to reach for the stars and, and search for your dreams. Because, yeah, unfortunately, you're going to encounter, encounter people and they're usually people that are close to you who are going to attempt to drag you down for whatever reason it may be. But as long as you fill it within yourself that you can make it happen, that's the most important thing. And if these people are not, are not going to support you and believe in you and be the prime force to make it happen, you don't need them. They, they, they, they gotta go. Whether that be family members, whether it be your partner, whether it be whoever it is who your friends who, who won't believe in your, your vision and your dreams. If they, if they can't believe in your vision and dreams, they gotta go. Simple as that. Simple as that. And this is, this is kind of what I wanted to do. That from now on, I'm going to meet, when I meet new people, I'm, I have, I, I have now, because of everything that I've been through in regards to narcissism and that, I have one strike rule from now on, which is that if you, if I meet you and we, we kick, we, we, um, what's good? If you, if you undermine me or put me down, I, you get a warning, you get one warning. You do it again. You're done. It's as simple as that. That's my, um, that's my, my, um, I guess, I guess you can say that's my boundary, I suppose. Because I have lived most of my life surrounded by people who, who treated me like crap. And now I have very low tolerance, I have very low tolerance for that. So anyway, like I said, um, I suppose that's it. So like I said, thank you for listening to my story. And, um, and I wish you everyone the best luck on your, on your journey beyond narcissism. So, um, thank you. Take care.