 Some modalities don't care about the child. They say, oh, it's irrelevant. It doesn't impact you. Now anyone who has worked with a couple would know that the childhood impacts them and it hurts, you know, it breaks my heart every time to see adults sharing about their childhood story and if their parents would only have gotten it right, they probably wouldn't have been wouldn't be in my office working on their relationship because they were so damaged from their childhood experience. And even people who didn't experience the childhood trauma, there are things that children did not get growing up that their parents could have been the best parents in the world, but parents can't possibly always meet the child's needs. They don't always know what a child needs. It's like a baby. Baby's crying. The baby cannot communicate what they need. Maybe the baby needs a diaper change. Maybe the baby is teething. Maybe the baby is hungry. You can troubleshoot and try to guess what the baby needs, but ultimately since the baby cannot communicate, you're not able to know exactly what they want. So you may be lucky and you may beat their needs, but you may have them still crying. So the idea is that we grow up as children and we have unmet needs and it doesn't mean our parents were bad. It's it's even just our perception of what we didn't get growing up. It's our experience. But because of that experience, it becomes etched in our psyche and we're looking for someone who's going to be able to heal that. So we look for someone who's going to kind of push those buttons and do the same things so as that we experience growing up so that this time we can get them to do it right to get a give us what that parent did not give us. So it's a totally different approach. Instead of getting focused on the problem, we're looking at the depth behind the problem. So we say if it's hysterical, it's historical. So if you're upset about something, instead of focusing on why your spouse is the problem, take ownership for your feelings. Explore where that's coming from. Understand why does it bother me so much when he or she does that? And not only does that help you be able to make a decision of how you react when you're triggered, it also helps your spouse have more compassion for you. And what that means is, if your spouse hears you complaining about them all the time, you don't care about me. Well, your spouse will be defensive. But that's not true. We'll look at all the things I do for you. And they're probably not going to make an extra effort because they feel like you just criticize them all the time. But if you explain, you don't care about me. And this reminds me of when I was a little child that I didn't really feel like my parents cared about me either. And you can tell your story about that. All of a sudden, it's not about your spouse as a villain. And all of a sudden, your spouse doesn't feel it's about me anymore. It's more about your pain. And of course, you want to hear your partner's pain. You want to be there for them. And you don't want them to have to suffer. And when you can have compassion for them, you realize it's not really about me. It's more about their story. It's 10% about the trigger. It's 90% about what it's evoking. And then, instead of defending yourself, you can actually be there for your spouse. You can actually meet their needs and change so you don't trigger them. Be more sensitive to them. So it's a totally different way of dealing with the issue. It's more about the process and working together and understanding each other that creates the change than anyone kind of giving you a, you know, like a more medical model. Like take two of these and call me in the morning. It's a whole different approach. It's a whole different paradigm shift. And this is why people experience in monotherapy is a refreshing approach to anything else that they've ever done working together as a couple.