 Unlike a red flag, a yellow flag means proceed, but with extreme caution. Let's talk about hair. Obviously, this is a touchy subject in our community. We can't talk about hair without talking about texturism. Unfortunately, as Black folks, we do have a preference for straighter or mixed-looking hair. Indian hair. You know, so many Black people believe the myth that their grandparent or great-grandparent was Native American. And we ascribe additional beauty to that person. If their hair gradation is what we call good, which is just in proximity to whiteness. But that's not what we're going to talk about. What we're going to talk about is how a woman's hair may or may not be a good indicator of her character slash some of the challenges that might be associated with joining with her in union. First and foremost, hair color. This for me is a borderline red flag. But for the sake of this, let's keep it at a yellow flag. Any woman that I've come across, whether in my personal life or interviewing, who has presented herself with non-human colored hair tends to be a very peculiar woman and not in a good way. It's not looking good, Bev. It's not looking good. In the white community, if you see a woman with blue hair, she's usually a neo-feminist. She hates men and she believes that women should rule the world. In the Black community, when you see a woman with blue hair, she usually has terrible social skills. She's usually the one talking really loud and cussing people out at the hair salon, at the nail store. And as a community, we can continue to act like there aren't certain patterns associated with certain aesthetic. But the reality is, yeah. And it gets kind of tricky, right? Because you might see a woman wearing like arban hair or like blonde hair, where it's like borderline. But even with those hair colors, I would still say proceed with caution. With the blonde, for instance, is this a woman with deep-seated, baked-in self-hate? We have to remember a lot of our girls were raised to believe that white society is better. A lot of us in general were raised to believe that our lives would be simpler, would be better, would be more grand, would be more worth living if we were white. First of all, white man, let me say that I love you, honor you, envy you, enjoy your smell, and I celebrate you in the name of White Jesus. So subconsciously, we aspire to whiteness. And sometimes that manifests in our physical presentation. We have to talk about skin bleaching in the Caribbean and Africa, even in the Americas. We have to talk about hair weaves, and more specifically, blonde hair weaves. So again, not a red flag is something to be cognizant of. Also, is this a woman who is constantly changing her hair? This is something I've experienced. What it said to me and what it should say to you is that this is a woman who is too easily bored. This is a woman who may or may not have something better to do, and if she does have other things that are better to be doing with her time, she lacks the ability, the maturity, or the competence to prioritize things properly. Again, how will this play out when this woman is now your responsibility? How will this play out when this is your teammate in raising children? What's her budgeting like? Yeah, she might think it's a couple dollars here, a couple dollars there, whether she's doing it herself or she's paying somebody else to do it. But how does that add up if she's changing her hairstyle every single week or multiple times a week? What's the opportunity cost of the time investment? Whether she's doing it herself, and I know how long it takes to do box braids, or whether she's having somebody else do it. Chances are this might be a woman who's irresponsible with her finances and irresponsible with her time. How is that going to play out? It should also go without saying, is this woman's chosen hairstyle or chosen hair length practical? And we've all seen the videos of the women walking through the mall or walking through the club and their hair is dragging on the ground. What if it snags on something? What if she sits on the toilet and her hair falls in the toilet? And now she has toilet water soaked into her hair. Again, a woman who lacks the wisdom of the foresight to take these things into account when choosing a style or choosing a length is probably mentally a toddler that now you are tasked with chaperoning and helping to raise. That's not my baby. Is this a woman who is familiar with her natural hair? And not even to say that she must wear her natural hair all the time, but as a grown adult woman, she should have some familiarity with taking care of herself. If you're a man trying to grow your hair, what can you learn from her? Are there some techniques, some products that she's discovered in her experimentation? In the 20-something or 30-something years that she's been caring for her hair, or has she just been covering it up with synthetic weave? Or just doing the bare minimum because her mom didn't really teach her the whys, just the what's? She's going to do your daughter's hair. Now, unless you want your daughter to be like some of the little girls that I've seen wearing weaves and wigs at five, pay attention to the woman's ability to take care of herself because that's going to be your daughter's starting point. Also, be wary of women with a bald shaving head or a really short cut. And I know ladies are not going to like this, but in my experience, and in some of the conversations I've had with other brothers, those women tend to either be masculine, whether knowingly or unknowingly. And that goes along with being feministic. Those women tend to have recently experienced some transitionary thing happen in their lives, a heartbreak, a death in the family. And the only thing a lot of women can think to do to represent that transition, that new me, is to start by cutting their hair. I think it's a spiritual thing. So not to say rule her out, but be cognizant of what led to this because it's uncommon. Man, don't nobody want no bald hair, chicken real life? Even Kanye got rid of Amber for Kim sexy ass. Most girls dream is to grow long, luscious, healthy hair. So when they choose to go the opposite way, whether it's for convenience, whether it's for because of heartbreak, whatever the case may be, it's something you need to be cognizant of. And even speaking on the convenience thing, I get it. Listen, ladies, I get it. I've had hair. I've been damn near baldheaded. It is so much easier to be damn near baldheaded. But again, I'm a man. And for me, one of the beautiful things about women is their ability to care for themselves. Against the odds, their ability to schedule in self care, their ability to treat their bodies with the tenderness and care that a female body deserves. So if a woman is out of touch with that ability, or because of the stresses of life, unable to actualize that, brothers, that's something that you're going to have to take inventory of. Maybe that means your job is to free up some of the stresses in her life so she can go back to her essence. Or this might be more than you bargained for and is deeper than that. And you might want to keep her pushing. Now with wigs and weaves, I'll say on behalf of men, we prefer natural. But I'm not so naive to not understand that natural hair requires a whole lot of maintenance. So I have some wiggle room there. And this is why this is a yellow flag. However, I have noticed that women who habitually rely on synthetic hair, just like other synthetic beauty enhancements, tend to be synthetic women. Now, again, this is not a foregone conclusion. This is just something to be cognizant of. Does this woman smell like plastic? Have you never seen her scalp? And not because she has a fro, but because she always has a wig or a weave. Fellows know that the most unsexy thing a woman could do is take off her wig and put it on a nightstand like our moms used to. Now, if you're cool with that, cool. But again, I think it's something that you should be cognizant of. Also, in this era of edge control and baby hairs, pay attention. Is she laying down so many baby hairs that she might look like a toddler or new, new from ATL? She might be an immature woman. She might come from a certain background or idealized certain aesthetics of manhood and womanhood that I think you should be cognizant of. Also, going back to the natural hair care thing is that edge control flaky, crusty, and you're seeing a whole bunch of buildup around her edges and around her hair. Maybe this is a young lady who is not as well-versed in products that work well with her body or well-versed in self-care and maintenance. Again, fellas, this is something you should be cognizant of. This is who's going to raise your daughter. Send this to your boys. Have conversations about it. Share stories. Father, send this to your sons. Have conversations about it. Share stories. And as we continue to elaborate on some of these conversations, my hope is that we can establish a strong and prosperous Black community full of strong men who are intentional about the women that we choose and the behavior that we reward or that we stay far away from. Thank you guys for watching. Leave it in the comments. Run these likes up. Hit the subscribe button on your way out. Check out some of the other content. And I'll see you guys in the next one. Peace.