 Your mic is on? Yes. Alright. So we're back. Back on track. Wow, we're doing a lot. Yes. But it's all about consistency, so it's not about doing a lot in one. So let's see how far we can come. Okay. What are we talking about today? Today, well, what is your name? Oh, my name is Kwame. This is me plus you is. It's us. And my name is Elaine. And here we talk about everything we're doing in the US. We're just navigating our, you know, experiences as a Dutch-Ganian couple living in Ghana and I think living in Ghana and sometimes visiting Netherlands as well. Like, you know, trying to bridge two families in two worlds. Yeah. But for now, we are based in... Ghana, Accra. Ghana. Which is one of the reasons why we're having this particular conversation. Having a child here or there and how to... Yeah, we just wanted to rewind a bit and share a bit of the decisions we've taken along the way and especially the practical decisions. So, well, where to start? You want to take it out? No, I mean, we can start with... So, I mean, when we discovered that we were expecting, of course, the question was like, are you... There's one of the first things people also ask, are you going to have it here in Ghana or are you going to have it in Netherlands? Yeah. So that's something we talked about quite extensively. Because we had to put it through a lot of factors to see which works best for us. Yeah. I think if I may, but you add, if I'm right, for Ghana was very vocal about wanting to have it in Netherlands. Yes. Okay, so I was coming from the facilities in the East in terms of insurance and... Insurance, no. You mean hospital facilities, right? Yes. But if you're on insurance, it's easier. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. So yes, if you're on insurance, it's easier to do it in the Netherlands. So I thought it was good to do it in the Netherlands. Yeah. So for me, I mean, we are already in getting checkups in Ghana. And for now, I am very confident with our gynecologist. Yeah, it's been really good. She's very thorough. Are we allowed to mention the name of the... No, let's not do that. Okay. Yeah. Sponsor us and we'll mention you, no, but it's not for people to... Yeah, it doesn't matter. If you want to know, you can ask, but it's not interesting. So she's very thorough and very... I found her a bit business-minded, but now she seems to be opening up more, which is nice. So you say business-minded, she was just to the task, to work. Yeah, like she's very... It's just strange for somebody like you. You're used to... That's because you are very task-oriented. Yeah. You seem to be used to that. But remember when we were in the Netherlands meeting the midwife, she really took her time and wanted to do everything and it was a very soft kind of healthcare, right? Right, right. Okay, now I get it. So compared to here, it was different. Anyway, so for me, the doubt was not necessarily with the medical facilities. I fully trust the kind of colleges. You just have to inform yourself well and know which decisions can come across and that you have to discuss with your partner. Yeah. So for me, it was more like where do you want to be? And then I felt very strongly that I wanted to be close or at least closer to my family. Yeah. I also agreed with that sentiment very much well because there have been a lot of milestones that we've celebrated in our lives and we've done most of them in Ghana and your family couldn't be present and I felt that... Yeah, so he's talking about our wedding because we did a court signing in Ghana and the idea was that later, yes we had a small celebration dinner, later we would do something in Netherlands as well to celebrate COVID and then COVID hit and then we didn't do that. Yeah. So Gama came up with the idea to have... So we've done the marriage celebration in Ghana, so why not give the people, or give the people in Netherlands like our people in Netherlands experience? The family in Netherlands of having the first child with them there, you know. So I thought that would be a great share since we're literally sharing our lives with two worlds. Yeah. I thought it would be great to do that. So we took our time going back and forth and of course everybody was eager to hear what everybody around us like what are you guys going to do but in the end we came to okay we wanted to do the Netherlands and then there are quite some practical implications. Yeah, because there's a lot of moving parts, things to do. Yes, because one, let's not go into the nitty gritty of it, but the Dutch system is very different than the Ghanaian system. So in Ghana if you want you will give birth in the hospital, right? Yeah. You just, when the baby comes you go to the ward or like where the baby is going to be delivered and then your gynecologist may be there but there might also be somebody else and they just support you as well as possible with whoever is there at that particular moment. Yeah. However, in Netherlands it's a bit different because in Netherlands you can choose to have your child at home or- Which is quite common, right? Yes, it's common but Netherlands is only one of the few countries that still allows that. So you can do home or hospital or a birth house which is like kind of a middle thing. So at home, so in Netherlands you have a midwife that is assigned to you kind of and of course if she's not on duty then you'll get another midwife but the idea is that you prepare your whole pregnancy or like the whole delivery with that midwife or that team of midwives. So wherever, whatever location you choose or is necessary, that person will come along with you. So for us, Kramen really wanted us to give birth in the hospital but in the Netherlands the rule is kind of if you don't have a medical indication, like high blood pressure or any other things, then you can still give birth in the hospital but then you're renting a room so that will cost you extra money. A little more, yeah. All these things and it will just be the hospital where you don't get any stuff from the hospital if there's no medical indication. So it's just you and a midwife who can deliver the baby. For us it was a bit different because we don't have our own house in the Netherlands. Our house is here in Ghana. So I was like, I don't want to give birth in somebody else's house. Even my parents said it would be fine. I think I would be worried about maybe the stains I make or the noises that come out of me or the room. So and there's not a lot of privacy, right? It's my parents' house and people can just come in and out and that idea of I don't mind my parents coming in and out but the idea of not being able to control that as much was like, nah, that's not it for me. And even if you would rent a house, how are you going to explain to your landlord or whatever that you're going to have a baby in the house? In the house. It's not what people have prepared for when they're renting the house out to you. Exactly. It's easier to go with the birth house. Yeah, so then I discovered or through a friend who has also given birth in Netherlands that there's something called a birth house. So that is a kind of living room setting next to the hospital. And they have everything there. They have a shower there. They have a bed there. You can have comfy chairs there, an extra bed for the partner to sleep there. And it's all designed for giving birth. And if something happens, whether it's before, during or after giving birth, the hospital is literally next door so they can just move you. Why? Well, if you're in the house and something happens and it's not as logistic as transportation. Then you promise to drive to the hospital with a wife and labor and all these things. So we thought the birth house would be best. So how did we prepare? There was a webinar. I did the webinar for two hours on the birth house and also a webinar later by the hospital and another webinar by the midwife. So as you can see, it's a different system in Netherlands. So your midwife is your focal point, but then you still have to apply, tell the hospital, this is and your insurance. This is where I want to give birth. And the unique thing about Netherlands is that they have maternity care after giving birth. So in the Netherlands, it's kind of... After doing the dedicated midwife, they also give you a dedicated nurse to come and stay with you. She's going to be with you for a certain stipulated hour, but divided into maybe three hours times eight days or about 10 days or something. And that's what you get as well. But that's not free, obviously. But if you have Dutch insurance, it's guaranteed. Part of it. But for us, it's not. So this nurse is going to come and help you get used to the washing of the baby, the feeding of the baby and the care. Even giving breastfeeding. Breastfeeding and everything. So even if you have donor people around, they can cook for you, they will help you clean. So anything you need in that newborn period, they can either teach you or do it for you. For the first week or first 10 days, and then you at least have a routine built around the first few days of the child. So and then, as I feel, there's more like different parts. So you have the actual preparation with your midwife, then delivery with your midwife slash maybe hospital, depending on how it goes. Then after that, you have self-aftercare where your midwife will check in. But that's just one or two times. And then the nursing, a nurse at home, that's what I call it. So as you can see, very different. And then all this also had to be checked with insurance. So we have international insurance because we travel a lot back and forth. You have to make sure you have the right thing there. So that was a lot of looking into things and double-checking and calling and... Very fine things. It wasn't fun, but it had to happen. So I literally now have a notebook, and it's like preparation for the baby notebook. Grave was laughing at me for that, but there was just so many moving parts that I just wanted to get it out of my head into somewhere else where I write it down. And then once in a while, like a few times a week, I check like, OK, what was on the to-do list or what should I think about? Or because it was just too much. Because now you think, OK, you've solved all the hospital stuff, right? We made the decision to do the Netherlands. Fine. But where are we going to stay? So now we have to think of where we're going to stay in the Netherlands, arrange accommodation in the Netherlands. Yes, which is not cheap. Yeah, because we don't want to stay the entire time at Elaine's parents place. Yes. So we want to have our own space to have, like, you know, our own time to be with a child and experience, like, parenting in the beginning together. So that's another thing we had to take care of. And you can only fly up to 36 weeks, which is, is that eight months? Eight months. And that means, but my maternity leave, the Ghana maternity leave only starts or you have three months. So what most Ghanaian women do and correct me if I'm wrong is that they wait till the due date until they deliver. And then they have to three months. But with 36 weeks, you're only eight months. So that one month in between I have to talk to work and ask, say, like, this is what we would like to do. Please can we go? And I have a very understanding manager, so she was fine with it. She said, whatever you want to do and listen to the doctor's advice. So we were very blessed with that. But still the step of, OK, how am I going to say it? How should I present it? And then looking into talking to the airline. OK, it's this week. OK, when is then the date that we can really fly? Because we also didn't want to push it to the 36th week. Because, well, that rule is literally there because they're scared that you will give birth in the plane. So we knew we want to give birth in Nellis, but that kind of triggered another bunch of decisions to do. Yeah, so finding a place is one. The other decision is probably going to be tied to the other video you're going to be seeing soon, which is moving. Another thing is that in December. Yes. Or like, yeah, our lease finishes for like in less than two weeks. Yeah, our lease finishes. And we have to move from where we live now, obviously, because of the dollar and how it has changed the prices of everything. And we felt that because the baby is coming, we would rather spend the money differently than to have to spend that much here because the dollar had changed dramatically in a year. So now we're moving. And our rent also went up a lot every year. Yeah, so that was also another issue. And you get the same house, but for more money. It didn't make sense for us. So we started early, like Kramen was very proactive with this. He started in June. Yeah, house hunting. I mean, June. But house hunting is June. Yeah, and that is stressful in Accra. You have to call with agents. Then they want you to meet you somewhere out there in the sun. They show you a wrong house. Oh, that's not to get there. That's not to get there. Oh, the house I sent you on WhatsApp. Oh, somebody has taken it. But I'll show you another one. It's like they let you play. It's like they deliberately show you ugly places that don't match what they showed you at first just to frustrate you. But like, you know what? You keep that agent fee that you've taken. So it's a lot. And they also show you ugly places that are like in your price range. And then they always push. So they're like, oh, but this house is really nice. It's just a thousand CDs extra. And they're like, ah. So that's actually another video for another time. Yes, maybe we shouldn't go in there. And that was simultaneous. So finding a house in Accra, that was then we said, OK, Kramen can do that better because clearly, glow in the dark, people see no Bruni. And the price will triple. So Kramen said, that's my business. That's your business, which I'm very grateful for. But in the meantime, I was house hunting in the Netherlands to find us a place for the first month before the birth. And then we said we want two months after the birth. And in the Netherlands, there's also a housing crisis at the moment. So the rent that people ask for, even sub-renting their places, it's a lot. We had kind of a budget, like because please bear in mind, we are doing double rent because we have our house in Ghana. But we want to stay comfortably in Netherlands. So we knew it was an investment from the start. This is what we feel comfortable with. We understand. But the amounts are crazy. So luckily, my dad made it his military mission to... He was moving very strategically. Strategically. I'm not even exaggerating. It's more like you put a map there and you're doing a strategy plan. OK, this is where we're moving. This is what this person was saying. We calculate this, this, this. It was nice to watch. He had his booklet and everything. He had the list and I called here. He literally went round to different villages around where my parents stay and towns. Yes. So in the end, it all worked out. So we've now started with my parents. Then we moved to a friend's house who's going on a long trip. And it was very kind and genuine. Generous. Kind and generous to let us have it. Let us have the house. And then we are going, which is, I think, going to be a nice walk material because we're going to a very tiny village. Maybe because we can put the map here. Put it in like this. Please do that. It's cold, or maybe not. I shouldn't say people would go cold. OK, it's a tiny village, not too far from my parents' place. Yes, I don't even need to put it on the map. It's so funny because it is one street and it's very rural. And it's very rural. And Kram was like, so it's quite a bit of adulting that we've done. And at some point, we were really like, is this really going to work out or not? Yeah, and even that. So many scenarios. The finances, considering all the finances, we'll bounce it off our friends and family. And then we'll be like, you know what? One month, we are like, OK, we're going to go to the Netherlands. The next month, we're like, you know what? What if we don't go to the Netherlands and we do it here? We just, you know, so we've had a lot of... Back and forth and also at some point, we were like, maybe we won't even find out in Ghana, is there any storage place where we can just storage our stuff? And then we also thought about the possibility of that. If we need to store it and we're coming back three months later, that means that when you come back, you don't have a place to live, you have to look for. And you can't, everybody knows you can't. Even when you are present here, I started in June and I didn't find a place until November. You can't remote look. No, you cannot. You can't, even when you are physically present, this is almost impossible to find it quickly. I think it's also interesting that, like, now we, even though the child is not here yet, we feel like we should be more responsible, like how we want to move houses. Everything revolves around the baby. Because we were just like, okay, this is way too much rent for a two bedroom place. Let's be the responsible adults we are and try to move this. Get something slightly cheaper, but even more rooms. More rooms, and because that's also another thing, like when we come back to Ghana, we hope that grandma's mom can also support us a little bit, so maybe she can stay a bit longer. So then we're like, okay, but then we also need to have our own space because. Yeah. So we were looking for specific, specific things and oh, we've had so many. I was just saying the other day, like, wait till all of this is wrapped up, like we have moved. We are in Netherlands, we have settled in. You will be amazed by how much headspace you have. Because we've had done so many different steps. You sleep a bit more too. Yeah. Because every day we would call about something or something would come up or I have a new idea or friends will say. I was sitting here, somebody would call me. I found this place. Can you come and check it out? And I literally drop everything and go. Yeah, it's not easy. So this may be not the most fun vlog, but I think people don't show you this last glamorous thing and that's a lot of decisions to make. And of course we made it more difficult for ourselves by wanting to give birth in another place. No, apart from that, it's always, so long as we are together, it's always gonna be these hard choices to make. Yeah, because you're literally moving between two worlds and. So all this while everything came kind of together while also working on like the flight and the visa and. Because my current visa had expired and I needed to renew it. Yeah, so there was just a lot. Of moving parts. Of moving parts and I feel we are almost there. This last piece, I'm getting already anxious because we have to move in less than two, three weeks and there's also some work things that allow my presence and I just wanna get into every corner, clean it up and put it in boxes. Yeah. It's just a lot. So yeah, we're gonna share with you the move as well. I don't think there's gonna be a sit down talk. I'm just gonna. Yeah, we can show you our new home, hopefully when we are in. And of course, aside, that's for me also difficult because yes, we are moving, but I cannot do a lot. Yeah. I can only maybe go through the stuff we have and like clean it up. Clean it up, I'm sorry. So adulting has been really, really, really, really. I want like a thinking thing. Like a no-ing. Don't think in thinking. She's very annoying. But yes, adulting has been really, really challenging. Next level, next level, next level. Don't take that. Yeah, bye-bye.