 Good morning everyone. Welcome to each one of you who've joined the class today online as well as to those who have Come in as part of the e-learning portal. We hope that you are enjoying classes and you know learning something new every time and also, you know being able to apply it in different ways as You meet people as you minister to people. Well, that's the whole You know deal of this is that not just this is just not an academic Program, but it is something that We learn to minister through so let's just start with a word of prayer and we'll dive right in Heavenly Father, we thank you for this morning. We thank you Lord that you have helped each one of us come in for class and Enjoy what we're learning in whichever quarters, whichever part of the Nation or the world we are in. Thank you for these Methods that we can use to connect to one another To be able to learn through this mode Father We pray that your Holy Spirit will teach us today will open our hearts to Newer attitudes and newer attributes of of who you want us to be as we share the burden and Help others in showing your love and grace. Thank you God for For all of us who've joined in even those who are yet to join in we pray that you will remove every hindrance and Bring us all to class so that We can we can do what you have called each one of us to do. Thank you master and Jesus name. Amen All right, so Last week we had We were looking at a very important part of The entire process of counseling and we were looking at understanding The personality you're understanding having a biblical perspective of what our human needs and an understanding of our Personalities and I'm just going to quickly maybe in five minutes quick Just quickly run through what we did yesterday because I think in the last class someone had asked for Like a recap And I had specifically said, you know if there are certain questions that you'll have you could Answer that in the first maybe 20 minutes and then get on with our class. So I've kind of kept 20 minutes just for this So so just to build a specific context context. We looked at how human beings function we saw that Scripture teaches us that we are made in the image of God that we are image Bearers of God so an image being an image bearer is to mean that we reflect God that we resemble God and We we saw that God has bestowed his own likeness upon us as as his creation as human beings as his creation. So our understanding of Who we are comes from first of all knowing who God is and then understanding how God made us and in that way As counselors we get to know You know, we make we develop a theory of personality Just by understanding who God is his nature his purposes and how he has made us to be So we first look at the nature of God. We saw that God is eternal. He is relational He's personal. He's perfect. He's powerful God is a God who has an intellect and a will and an emotional and that's what makes him relational And the way that he has revealed himself through to us is through the word And through the person of Jesus Christ and through the Holy Spirit So and we did look at further into that we get our image of God from Scripture From our personal prayer life from the word from the Holy Spirit from teaching that we have received even that which has been Modeled to us by our parents So we saw that man is made in God's image and we need to gain an understanding of that in order to to know how to Deal with the problems man comes with so When we do understand man, there were three core concepts that we looked at that Man is a free moral agent and they have the right to make choices But however do not have the right to choose a consequence We looked at how there is eternity that is placed in the heart of every man and that man is an eternal being and after the judgment there exists either eternal eternal life or eternal death and the third Main concept we looked at was that God has given us given us human beings or man the right to choose even our eternal destiny and We he's given us the will to choose that okay, so then we we focused on knowing that When God made us in the image there were certain attributes that he gave unto us the attribute of being perfectly loved being Perfectly secure loved or valued being perfectly secure and being perfectly Significant and having purpose and this was something that was inherently there in Adam and Eve before the fall so after the fall sin changed the The whole thing where we still bore the image of God. We were made with dignity we had the dignity of bearing the image but yet we were depraved because of sin and So we still have the capacity for that security and significance and work But we have no way of satisfying it and as a result there are things we it becomes needs these These three attributes that were in inherently ours become needs and we look all around for satisfying that We also looked at in that context is when we looked at The casual needs the critical needs and the crucial needs We saw that the casual needs were needs that really didn't make much of an impact if it were fulfilled or not the critical needs were those that did cause a sense of despair and Was Impairing would bring us to despair if if there was an impairment in those areas and some of the examples We looked at was if there was a loss of a relationship if there's a loss of a job if there is a Significant physical health all of that becomes critical needs and then we looked at the most crucial needs being the need of self-worth the need of Feeling secure and the need for significance or having purpose And we we did see that the path of maturity at the end of the lesson. We looked at the path of maturity being having our most Crucial needs met and then the critical and the casual needs do come up, you know on Comes as a result just like scripture says You know see key first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you So the so when we do find the source of Having those critical needs met in God the rest of the things those crucial and casual needs become Come as a part and parcel of of having those needs met now while understanding Human being we looked at those five areas of functioning Which is something that we need to focus on even as we are helping to to bringing about in counseling So these five areas of functioning we spoke about is the spiritual being where That that is the place where it has a deep yearning for a close and intimate relationship with God and that's where the part of the crucial needs lie we looked at the rational being where man has the ability to reason and understand and comprehend and And for a counselor to be able to help the Counseling to focus on the rational part of their functioning. We looked at the emotional being We said the emotional being was Is what really decides whether life becomes meaningful or you know difficult and a counselor who needs to pay attention to that? Because you know and just not focus only on the behavioral aspects of human functioning because emotions do play a large part in the way One one would behave the fourth area. We looked at was volitional the ability for a man to make choices to make personal Choices and we understood that when we have the wrong beliefs and when we have wrong goals is when one would make a wrong choice So if we don't understand that a person is a choosing being We fail to help the person take that responsibility to make that that choice and lastly We we looked at us being physical beings where we have a frame in which all of this is Housed and it is a vital component in contributing also to a person's Issue or a problem. So we we looked at these convictions that The main convictions that we have are that people are made in the image of God with these five areas of functioning sin has marred and Distorted that image and what we do in counseling is working with God to restore that image so that their crucial needs are met in God the these these needs of love of security and belonging and significance and and Purpose are met in God Thereby they restore that image as to what they were created and are able to deal with what their concerns or their issues are So this is very quickly in a five-minute nutshell of you know, what we had focused on the last time So I'm just going to open it up just for ten minutes to For you, you know, I'm sure you'll have thought over these things that we had spoken about and studied last time and Just opening it up for questions if there are any Yes, Samuel, please go ahead Thank you So Supposedly while you know thinking of this the for me, I think Something that I don't feel so confident about is You know while trying to counsel now having known that so having these convictions or even this theory that that We are what we are Like because Some some need is not met So so I'm in this mess because there was a need that I was trying to fulfill But I obviously resorted resorted to Incorrect means which has landed me in this mess So so so as a counselor, I think I'm so I have I am probably walking in with this assumption About my counseling like this person is here because You know at the end of it because there's a need that this person is trying to fulfill But it's not being met that need and some so probably I'm thinking The journey that I would take as a counselor would be to identify what that need is And so so that's the part where I don't feel confident about so I'm starting off with an assumption and What if you know What if that assumption is incorrect about this person that I make like you know, what if it's Not a need so so so I think it then comes down to like Would they be people who would be in a mess but not because of Them trying to fulfill any need but for some other reasons Okay, so that's a good question Samil I think and I think I'd like to probably ask you is that Think of any kind of an issue that that you may have personally had and look back and Try and maybe just do a quick analysis of why you Feel the way that you do in a certain situation Like for example, maybe very simple Examples of yeah, maybe in a relationship You are in a relationship with maybe your spouse or or a parent or a child and They don't do what You say Or they don't see sense into what you say What do you think would be the core feeling that? erupts in you in you not in the other person in you Samuel Could you mean one more time? I think yeah, okay So so you're having an issue with with some Significant person in your life. Maybe your spouse or your child or your parent, okay? And you're not having a conversation and this person does not see any sense in what you're saying They're saying you know what you're saying is absolutely wrong. Maybe you're discussing about something and you're saying no What you've said is absolutely wrong. I just don't trust that what you know your understanding is right on this Right. What what does it evoke in you? About yourself not about the relationship of the other person. What does it evoke in you? I think Multiple things like one is I mean in different depending on So so many factors But I do I'm learning to check myself But depending on if I'm tired how hungry I love that Yeah but if I'm if I'm if I'm Like what if I am Like if I have a check and if I'm you know, and I'm more conscious and aware of my physical thing I think these days I'm trying to Trying to see for myself like why am I not being able to To convey what I want to convey like I'm trying to Help us say so I'm trying to say something but I'm not being able to show my perspective my my point of view correctly And and and and I also I'm doing a lot of introspection. Maybe I'm so Maybe I'm not understanding my spouse or Properly, so I don't understand there. Maybe I don't understand where they're coming from So I try to do that But if I'm I'm tired then I just like, okay, let's I mean I think I become more snappy or something Okay, so that's exactly what you know what we learned. It's like peeling an onion So what are you doing is when someone comes to you with an issue? You're actually peeling them like an onion. So you first look at whether there has been any physical Aspects that has caused what they're feeling. Okay. Are you hungry? Are you tired? Do you have, you know, are there hormonal issues? Are you sick? Okay, so you get that out of the way. Then comes your next part of it would be your emotional being Are your emotions Playing a big role in the way that you're understanding this and I think has this have you been able to really express What you are going through, you know Sometimes when you're just able to express then you're very settled with and if I'm able to express probably with the person I'm upset with that I'm upset with them once I'm done that, you know I have settled so you you've got that out of the way then comes your rational being Is it my thoughts? That's you know, that that's been wrongly I've been having wrong thoughts. Have I been thinking about this entire situation differently? Am I thinking negatively about the person? Am I thinking negatively about the suggestion that they've made then comes your volitional being about the way that you're making choices? I you know, is there a sense of stubbornness that you come in? So you've filled it up to there and then comes the last part of you know, if you've kind of managed to figure out Okay, that it doesn't seem to be any of these the last part that I come to is the spiritual being which is that place of crucial Needs, but I say, okay. Am I just being do I feel Undervalued do I feel as if my spouse doesn't care about what I have to say or You know, do I feel that I'm not respected? So it it may boil down to this I don't mean to say that all Situations may have the same but when you're looking at major concerns, you know people having struggles over and over again Let's say for those who are into promiscuous relationships those who are into significant addictions Those who may be having a significant anxiety or depression, you know or issues with anger You begin to see that there is a pattern that follows and and unless you as a counselor are able to figure out all these Pathways these five areas of functioning coming down finally to that place of spiritual functioning those crucial needs of it You know, that's that's the pathway and that's what you're looking at. You know, so maybe Someone who's just come to you with the thyroid issue and they're feeling depressed and you give them some medication on thyroid And they're perfectly okay great those needs I mean so that's what I meant to what what we were talking about is that areas of functioning is so important to understand But when we're looking at the personality as a whole We see that needs There are these needs that are universal to all of us And you you ask anybody, you know, what would what what would their strongest need be would be one would be to You know, I want to be loved. I want to be cared for I want to know that I'm I belong to somebody I need to know that I can function as an individual Those are the core things that God himself has put into us. So yes, I agree. Maybe that's not not all cases You may have the need but this is what the pathway needs to be where you're you're actually finding that out Does that make it more clear Samuel? It it does it does. Um, is this the I mean, uh, so I get the areas to explore But uh, but essentially I'm still Looking for the need and I'm trying to figure out what need is being What need is being tried to fulfill in what not not being met. Yeah, not being met in what area and As as you As you help the now You may have an Understand you may think okay. I think this person needs to be loved and that's why so that's your first judgment But it's only as you continue to explore and understand where they are at That you will begin it becomes more clearer for you and through your questioning through your skills of counseling You're also able to help them see. Hey, this is what I really want You know and it may not be very clear initially for either you or for the person But the more that you explore, you know, what makes you get into these relationships? What makes you feel the way that you do that's what really evokes this understanding not just in them, but also in you So it is a journey It is something that you know, it's a process of finding out But the understanding is that if we have been motivated to go pick something or to go after something There is definitely some need in us that we are attempting to fulfill That's the premise of this and the premise of the gospel that you know Where after sin you are looking for something to fulfill A gap that you are you're feeling that vacuum that you're feeling and until and unless you actually have that true relationship with god You're on the run. You're on you're actually Still searching people are searching for truth. What is that true? And that's that's the need something that is not being met is what they're searching for and which can be met In in the gospel which can be met in a relationship with jesus because that's what he gives He endures those attributes back to us when we are in that right relationship Thank you, thank you Yeah, thank you. All right. Yeah christopher. Can I take your question christopher? Ah, yes. Yes, christopher. Uh, so I actually have One observation and I just want to some clarity on that And the other one is a question So the first one In regards to the observation is just while I was going and reading through the to the notes I um I saw that There you know, when we when I was looking at page number 10 The five areas of human functioning. So that's where it is actually initially referred to and um I'm just trying to understand the flow of it. So that you know when I'm Reading through it. Yeah, I'm able to get the most out of the You know out of the content. So there's there are the five functions Five areas of human functioning are there And then um, then it follows by the three kinds of needs And then again, there's another reference to the um those five functions And here I see is that For all of them except for emotional The emotional area doesn't seem to have any biblical references And then again, um This is referred to in the uh This uh in page number 13 Just wanted to understand the flow of it and how how how this would actually I know To get the most out of out of the content. So that's the observation and I just want to get some clarity on that Uh question is three that that I have is actually just coming back to the uh, you know, right right the beginning where you mentioned about Human beings being uh depraved and um Yeah, I mean Me that initially seemed very strong work. Uh, you know, because that sort of you know translates to extremely evil and uh, you know, someone who is Just uh, you know beyond uh goodness so, um My question is actually around um The the you know, I understand that you know with with christ we are able to save ourselves and when we accept him But um, what about those who are the unbelievers? and uh people who are from other other religions um So we still I mean when we do count when we counsel them Do we still sort of going with this approach of you know being totally for them being totally depraved? and then Knowing that that uh, you know christ is not not really uh Means for them to accept Um, at least, you know in the initial counseling session. So just want to understand What is the approach that one one would use? Uh, you know when when counseling uh are not are not believer Okay, so let me just answer your first question So the first the so I think your confusion was there are three Uh references made to this human functioning So what you find on page 10 is an introduction of these areas of functioning the spiritual being the rational being The emotional the volitional and the physical being okay Then comes the second part of it which gives you a reference of what the word of god sees it How these areas of functioning is seen through the light of the word of god and you have specific scriptures that are put there Uh, there are scriptures for emotional being christopher. There's deutronomy 6 5 problems for 23 he bruised for 15 it is there Uh, I don't know how you have missed that in your notes. It is it's there all References of these of the beings are there in that second portion of it The third part of it is looking uh of of how you understand problems that develop in the In the human personality and examining these areas of functioning in the way that you understand them So so it talks about how everyone has spiritual Needs everyone our rational beings everyone our volitional beings. So it gives you an understanding of looking at Being able to find out what goes wrong in these different Five areas that you know in emotional beings. There are sometimes signal emotions That create wrong goals in the rational being there is there is a wrong thoughts that creates Wrong behavior volitional is you make wrong choices That that get into wrong behavior and spiritual is is there are The crucial needs that are not met that leads you into false behavior. So this is how it's just been Been kind of apportioned for better reading and better understanding I I'm sorry if there was a confusion. I will I'll definitely look through it and review it again to make the flow a little bit more understandable Okay, the second part of your question that you said about being depraved Scripture talks about how It says in romans 623 that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god That there is no one who is a righteous that means Every one of us not just those who believe in god But those who do not believe in god If you look at another verse in jeremiah 79 it says the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond Cure the human heart Is the most deceitful of all things so and and the only One who can search the heart is law is the lord and and it says in that verse that follows it I the lord search the heart I examine the mind to reward a man according to his way by what his deeds deserve so when We look at man We understand that man is sinful And the only way that because of sin The only thing that we deserve is death The wages of sin is death Right, I think it's roman 623 if i'm not mistaken apologies if that's the wrong reference so The wages of sin is death and only if And everything else that you have outside of that Is only the grace of god and the grace of god is there for all his children Whether you're a believer or whether you're a non-believer. Okay, but for those who believe him There is his promises. There is his spiritual blessings that he gives unto us. Okay, and that's what makes A believer's life journey a lot more fulfilling Now looking at how to be counsel non-believers To understand that Everyone is blinded from the truth of of god and his word and As as believers we are responsible to open God's truth to them And how do we do this in different ways? You know, it's through evangelization It's it's it's it's through the way that um, you know, you may be meeting with friends talking to them about your testimony It may be a part of counseling as a part of self disclosure where the counselor themselves comes about and Talks about what has been important in their lives or it is a sharing of the gospel, right? Or it can also be just which is part of what we're going to be looking at today in today's class Is the relationship that a counselor shares with the counseling just seeing The the sense of acceptance and love and regard that the counselor gives the counseling Definitely has a place for them to question. What is the driving force? Behind the counselors joy of counselors You know presents in all of this So there are multiple things that brings a person to To a place of understanding now even as i'm saying this there are many people who May shun or may not want to get in to the realm of spirituality Now having said that remember that is a choice that they make that is That is a decision that they have taken not to do so and You know god his thought is to be respectful of of that if they've decided that What is it that i'm left with is a place of intercession and prayer for them That they that god would open their eyes that the scales of their eyes would fall off that That the that the spirit would enlighten them into understanding the truth so even as Even as you are helping non-believers you may go through this pathway of Finally coming to a place of knowing that their crucial needs are unmet and i've had Many number of counselors coming to that place of understanding that You know i'm i feel A lack of value. I feel a lack of self-worth. I don't feel significant now. Where am i going to find it? so that That i won't say always but there are times that gives me the opportunities depends on the setting that i'm in now i'm also part of some corporate counsel counseling that really You know does not Because they know i'm a christian counselor they they actually bring that out and i respect that part of it So i do i am careful in the way that i present it but then i do say I do give these options and i say you know one way People have these needs met is when when they have a spiritual understanding of who god really is Is that something that you think you should explore? Is that an area that you think you would like to look at so they may say yes They may say no with permission with with you know tactfully sometimes dealing with it There are parts of the gospel that i open up, but then if there is a total You know unwillingness then i do respect that and i say okay Then then we may need to look at the second part of it as to how you think you can fulfill this and that The ball is thrown back into their court As to what is it that they can do to fulfill those core and crucial needs that may be present within them So as when you look at an unbeliever you definitely have the same frame of understanding As you would when you're dealing with a believer only thing isn't in a believer there is a lot more openness and It's much easier to help them see that you know, you don't have to run after these needs on your own You've got someone who's already fulfilled this for you. It's much much easier Much harder when it comes to comes to an unbeliever who is willing to to pay that to pay the attention to that So yes, it's a journey, but nevertheless, I you know, I believe that it's like a seed that is sown That maybe i've probably put the first or the second seed and somebody would take over In in really showing them the gospel and then they're able to to to come back to it Because I know a couple of counselors where I've put in the seed, you know, I've thrown in the seed and and they've gone saying, you know That that's a very helpful understanding Now it is my journey to find that, you know, even though we've given those Of how it can be found in a spiritual relationship with with god that that has been that has been put But not really been taken But then you put in there as a seed and and believing that you know, god will use somebody else to water that I hope I answered Christopher Ah, yes. Yes. Thank you. I I I saw that I saw the bible references to to the emotional function also I think I got this bit for like just reading the document I saw that emotional area and I didn't see any bible references be underneath that so I Okay, I thought that there was nothing in that here Okay, just one, uh, I guess just one small little question around what you just now mentioned um With with with unbelievers when we throw in uh, not not when but when we include the spiritual you know aspect of Of, you know, how uh, that is that is that is the only uh, solution Uh, of the only pathway to you know to getting Getting out of certain, uh, you know areas of you know You know the the gravity or uh, you know areas where you know, they're not functioning in goodness um What if they were to begin, you know, their Their, uh, you know religious beliefs and uh, when we know that there's only one way And there is only one god and you know, that is that is in Jesus Jesus Christ And they're bringing that uh, and they say that you know, yes, we do it But we know we do it to our our god and we do it through our our, you know the way to uh, you know How we have been brought up or whatever so, um I've personally not had an experience like this but what I would think is the wisest thing to do is um, you know One is invite them to church and say, uh, you know, why would would you like to probably Understand what this part of spirituality that maybe Maybe what a christian believer thinks about would you like to explore that? And then, you know, do your own search about what you believe in Try and find I think what you should do is to help them to find those results on themselves or Put them to sources put them to people who would be able to do that That kind of a distinguishing Thing for them or maybe sending them a video to understand what's the difference between a belief of a christian god and a belief in something else You know, I think that becomes more helpful because I'll tell you in the context that sometimes I work in Maybe that part of it may not be something in the purview that I'm called to do like like for example Maybe in a corporate setting I'm called to do a specific role and I would be careful in how I help the person So I I think I would tactfully Wisely use it to put them on to another source Who could help them to find more or maybe give them a book to read or or something that helps to Get them to understand this in totality But let's say if it's if it's a setting like like Like what we have in a center like ours in a counseling center like ours, which is completely christian Then maybe I would get into some form of a Discussion with them to as much as I would be able to or put them again on to maybe maybe Somebody like pastor or someone who can who can really help them to decipher that So that's what I would do because I I think I would also look at what is it that I am able to bring to the table for them And maybe things that I don't completely understand is something that I may source out And it is perfectly fine to source out something that you You feel you may not be confident in but I I think that's necessary to do one is to get them to research on their own to give them good resources to find this out and to Put them on to someone who could probably have an independent discussion of this Because you're dealing a lot with maybe emotional issues and struggles with that right and sometimes you want to Help the individual to keeping it that and having this seen somewhere else because I've heard a lot of times that You know once you build a bias on a counselor, then you've completely lost them out So I would be very careful and wisely tactfully do that to ensure You know, if I know my counseling well enough, maybe those discussions I may get into if not Um, I I would probably source it out outside Thank you. Okay. All right. Okay. Um, so oh god, okay. We've taken 40 minutes on that all right, so we're going to dwell into our uh, our next topic and our next topic is on the A counseling process and part of the counseling process is the counseling relationship and we're going to be looking at page 15 onwards Um, and we're going to specifically look at certain components that are needed in a counseling Uh relationship Kindly give me a minute. I'll just share my screen So that uh, yeah, I hope you can see my screen Right. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to be looking at um, the counseling process and one part of that counseling process is the counseling relationship Now a counseling relationship refers to counseling or you know in the secular parlance. It's called as a therapeutic relationship. Okay and uh, it this refers to the Close and consistent association that exists between two individuals, which is the counselor as well as the counseling Now the purpose of the relationship is to help the counseling to Bring about a change in his or her life And this relationship is essential because very often Uh, the this could be the first setting in which this person the counseling Shares these intimate thoughts and beliefs and emotions regarding whatever they have come for So, uh, so so it becomes very important that the counselor provides a very safe Open non-judgmental atmosphere where the counseling can be at complete ease so the the uh, uh, a good Cushioning is where you're able to build trust. You're able to build respect And you're encouraged to show certain attitudes Um, and just like how you would do in any other social relationship These are certain things that are important. Now when you look at the counselor The counselor, sorry the counseling comes with maybe certain insight is you know, you're looking for them to be honest You're looking them to be persistent You're looking them to bring about a motivation to change All of this comes when the counseling builds certain attitudes. Okay And we're going to be looking significantly at this. So just a few definitions To understand why a counseling relationship is important um, uh, so so these these are just taken from you know, some Counselors who've who've been in the in the field and who who've really researched about the counseling relationship Now the relationship between a counselor and the counseling is something that should be built by trust and openness In this one-on-one relation relationship Where the counseling is helped to work through these problems and crisis that they may be coming from So that they can find options in their life also and be able to discover what God has put into their lives. Okay A counseling relationship becomes effective when uh, when the counselor's personal qualities and skills Are there to encourage growth in the counseling. So so a lot of A lot of help comes from What the counselors qualities and skills are Okay, so remember these are all in the background of what we learned in the first Lesson where yes, God is the center The Holy Spirit is the one who opens up thoughts and ideas and understanding And you as a counselor Is an important medium in this process So God needs to use you effectively as a counselor to be able to help and reach the other person Okay, so the goal or the task of the counselor is to provide a relationship That allows the other person to discover within themselves The areas of growth and a way of thinking and active. So that's That's what you are called to do to help them to change The way they may be thinking change the way They may be behaving so that growth can occur And how is this done This is done through specifically core attitudes of a therapist or a or a counselor rather than whatever Approach you are using um In counseling, okay, so more than the approach Like There are very many different approaches that one would use, you know in in a counseling setting, especially when you've you've done count secular counseling There are very many theories. I mean people go through different approaches like, you know One is the psychoanalytical approach where they go back into the childhood and figure out things That impact the present that there is the client centered where you're looking at the individual then and there There is the solution focus. So there are many many Orientations, but what is more important is the attitude of the counselor and This attitude the way that the counseling Perceives this attitude makes a huge difference in the counseling also So let's just look at what these components Components are that there are three specific Components that we are going to be looking at and they are bedrock in building the foundation of a counseling relationship So the first is empathy The second is unconditional positive regard And the third is congruence or something that is called this genuineness and we will look into Detail to each each of this just to understand and explain what each of this mean So the first one we're looking into is called Empathy okay now what is so so maybe You know just just for an understanding that we have I'm sure as a you know as kids Or even as As adults we've played this You know you play this game where you give four feats to one another Right like you you know you you're you're you're supposed to choose a partner And you're supposed to write something that they should do in public right or they should do in front of your class or things like that Have any if you played that In some way or the other you know you're you're supposed to write a feat for the other person have any if you played that no Okay, I guess not no all right. Okay So if we were if we were in in real class, I would have actually got you all to play that So maybe yeah, okay truth or dare. Okay. Okay. Something like truth or dare, right? Okay, uh, so I'm sure you'll have played truth or dare So if you were to ask somebody to do something What do you think you would ask them to do and I'd like to hear some responses Let's say maybe in the classroom you want someone to do something. Okay, we're having a fun time Okay, so what would you ask somebody to do or somebody to share or Okay, so samyam said dancing What else would you do? Dance and sing is really simple as an act like a monkey. Okay. All right Now. Okay. So great share a secret. Okay. So What what we are doing now? What is what is empathy? So generally if I were in actual class and let's say Okay, let's say, you know, I've paired up samuel and anita together So samuel has told has asked anita to act like a monkey And anita has asked samuel to share a secret So what I would do to really bring about the concept of empathy is Have samuel do what he's asked anita to do So I would ask samuel to act like a monkey and anita to share a secret Samuel possible to act like a monkey and give us some entertainment Okay, all right. Okay. Now. Why is this important? Is that? um Often when like in this game when I give a feat or I ask someone to do something I don't really care How they're going to do it All that I want to do is put them in an uncomfortable position So that everybody else has a laugh, right? I mean, this is a game But that's the that's the very core of it But to be Perceptive and sensitive that hey if I ask anita to act like a monkey You know, how is that going to be for her? What if I were in her position? Would I like to do that? Maybe not. Maybe I will try something else Right, so this is just to bring about a point about about empathy for us to you know, really understand So what is empathy? Empathy can be Described in very many different ways and some of it is what I've written here. You know, you walk in another shoes You enter into another's frame of reference. This frame of reference is is a class We're going to take the next time. So that's something I will go into a lot more detail or having the ability of Ability to experience life as the other person has or by entering into their own world of thoughts and emotions and understanding so that that's what empathy empathy means now in counseling what What empathy is an expression? Of the regard and respect you as a counselor holds for the counseling Whose experience may be very different from yours as a counselor So the counseling needs to feel held Or understood well As well as feel respected Now to hold a client a counseling in in a in a Relationship in a therapeutic relationship relationship means that the counselor is capable to accept and support The counseling through any issues or problems or concerns that they may bring It's the ability to empathize With another and it is and what this does is it enhances your Attentiveness and you do that by different expressions Okay, whereas sympathy now often, you know, we get mixed up with these two words empathy and sympathy Sympathy on the other hand is not empathy. Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone It is to create sorrow in yourself In response to what the other person may be going through So when you feel sympathy for someone you might also see them with pity While you know pity makes people like a victim makes a victim of the sufferer You say poor thing poor you you're actually making a victim of the sufferer of the person Whereas empathy empowers them and is saying, you know, I have an understanding of what your world is You're not alone. You and I are here in this together So the important elements of empathy is to be able to understand the feelings of of the other Sorry, let me get on to the next side. Yeah, so the empathy becomes as a skill It it it is seen as a skill that that you that you you build up Okay. Now, it's it's the skill of reflecting back to another person. So you recognize And you reflect back you share back the feelings that you see the person is experiencing You're actually looking and saying, okay What what is this person feeling and empathy is to be able to reflect back what the other person may be feeling It also involves listening to to others Understanding them and communicating this understanding back. Okay. It's listening It's understanding and communicating this understanding back So empathy is the capacity to recognize and to some extent share these feelings That that the other person is experienced to the other. So you understand the feeling You reflect the the counsellor's mood and the content And it is done through your tone of voice which conveys that ability to share these feelings. So finally Only when you can really be open or clear or sensitive to the emotions and feelings of the other person Does actual care begin to happen. Okay, and that happens when you empathize Okay, sorry. I'm just a little cognizant of time Okay. Yeah, I think we before we get into this We will probably take a break And so on my clock, it's 1054. Let's resume back at 114 after a cup of coffee. So come back to understand more, right