 Boundaries are things for us to uphold. So if you have boundaries with another person, it's always really helpful to think about what are you doing to honor this boundary? Yes. What's up everybody and welcome to the show today. We drop great content each and every week and we wanna make sure that you guys get notified. And in order to do that, you're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell. And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this, make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends. Core values are an amazing strategy for determining what your boundaries are. It is an amazing way to be considerate of your needs and to care about the needs of others. There are times when maybe one of our core values is to have a valid reason. And maybe the core value is to be able to excuse yourself when needed. We develop those and it's really based on what is important to us. It can be really challenging to say there is a one size fits all sort of way of needing to be with boundaries because there are times where you do want to give an explanation. I won't be able to come to your party because I have the stomach bug, right? You may not want to just say, I won't be there, bye. It's like, no, I want you to know because I care about this relationship. I will say it in situations where you have people who are combative, people who like to challenge your boundaries, telling them a reason or giving an explanation can be a way that they will try to talk you out of the boundary. Yes, you have the stomach bug, but you could just come here and sit down. You don't have to get up and do anything. You can just, you know, you do have those people that when you give them the reason, they're like, oh, no, no, no, that's not valid. Here's something you can do. So you'll actually be able to do this thing for me. So you have to be discerning about who you're giving explanations to. Well, since we're here, I guess we should talk about setting up these boundaries, where we have to interact with people, who we know push them and maybe family members, maybe it is coworkers, where we have been taken advantage of in the past. They expect certain things from us, but now perhaps we've become aware where not having these boundaries has led us astray. So we're gonna firm that up and we're gonna speak out to this now. There are people who will constantly push against those boundaries. And the boundaries are things for us to uphold. So if you have boundaries with another person, it's always really helpful to think about, what are you doing to honor this boundary? If you've spoken about, I will not talk about politics with you. Are you engaging in the conversation that you just said you don't want to have? And we do that so often. We'll be like, they keep talking to me about it and you're talking to them about what you don't want to talk about. Who has the boundary? If you have the boundary, when certain things come up, you will need to be the person saying, hey, I'm not talking to you about this. Hey, we've talked about this. Did you see that Geico commercial? I mean, you can bring up anything else but this won't be it because we are not talking about this. How do you advocate for your boundary and not put it on this other person who doesn't want to have the boundary to always adhere to your rules? We drop great content each and every week and we wanna make sure that you guys get notified. And in order to do that, you're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell. And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this, make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends. When you described it earlier as a lifestyle, choice, that puts power into your hands if you wanna accept it. You are deciding whether or not to adhere to these boundaries. And as you mentioned, if you set up these boundaries but you're the one breaking them, well, why is anyone else going to take them seriously? They're certainly not gonna respect that. And the other point that we should discuss as well as with family and coworkers and friends, it's not that these people are malicious. It is they know they can get away with it. Their life will be easier if they ask you to do it or if they push those boundaries because in the past, you have obliged. So if it's easier for them to just push it off, well, that's gonna happen. And I'll give an anecdote to this. A while ago, we had an open door policy for a lot of our employees so that they were able to reach us, get their questions asked and make sure that they were able to do the work that they needed to do. As any team leader, you want your staff to be able to access that and we wanted to be as open as possible. But then we had realized that any time that they had a question that they would take us up on that open door policy and then the next thing that we had realized was, well, the things that we needed to get done weren't getting done because we're now busy answering everyone else's questions on the staff. And realize that as nice as that strategy seemed on paper, it was being taken advantage of. So now that the boundaries would need to be put in place, and what's important there is we weren't helping our employees by having an open door policy. We had trained them that anytime that they were stumped to just come to us, which did not help them learn and develop and evolve for their roles. Absolutely. So perhaps the boundary on your end is making sure that people understand what they need to do and then giving them the space to do that. And when they come to you, referring them back to their sales, how have you thought about solutions for that? What did you come up with instead of saying, okay, here are all the things that I would do in this situation because a manager's job, a supervisor's job, a parent's job and most human's jobs is to work people out of needing you for total support. And so if you are continuously in that support role, they will come to you. If you think about it, stores even do that. When you go to the grocery store, there are huge signs that says bread, tea, you know, whatever in this aisle. Why? They don't want you going to everyone and saying, hey, where is the bread? Hey, where is the tea? If they want you to look up and be able to go get it. And the only thing they want you to come to them for is for the things not listed on the sign because I've asked and it's been on that sign and they'll point right to that sign. It's right there on aisle eight. It's like, did you read the sign? Well, I think what's an important part of this for many who are struggling with boundaries is it's not even like people are going across them because they're malicious or because they're trying to harm you. Oftentimes it's completely invisible to them and they are just acting in ways that best suit them without thinking positively or negatively about you. And as Johnny said, it's often hardest to put boundaries around behaviors that we've conditioned others as acceptable in our life for months, years even, friends and family that we've known forever. They can be often the most challenging to set up new boundaries because we have had the open door policy for years. They have been able to hop on slack at any hour of the day and tag me or Johnny and get that immediate response. And now all of a sudden we're saying, hey, we're gonna have a stand up meeting. Bring all your questions in that stand up meeting so that the other seven hours of this day, I can actually get done what I need to get done. And we had to state that boundary a number of times. It's very easy when we've conditioned others on one behavior for them to just stick with it to not realize, oh, you know what? We had a meeting about this last week and AJ and Johnny were clear in that meeting of what they wanted. I totally forgot about that. I just had this thing come up and I wanted to get it handled. So I did wanna make that point. Oftentimes it's very easy to think, well, man, these people are really being rude. I told them that I don't wanna do this. I told them that I don't have time for them and they keep crossing this boundary. When in actuality, well, we've conditioned them for years that that was completely acceptable behavior. And just because we articulated it once or twice to assume that they're now gonna change their behavior, remember, and instantly follow the boundary, it's just not realistic. So we are gonna have to restate these boundaries.