 What's going on, you lot? It's been a hot minute since I filmed a video. This is a story I've wanted to tell for this hot July, August and October. Six months. This happened six months ago, you guys. The story begins with me being discharged from a mental health unit and we do some pretext. When I used to live in Lancashire, Preston, to be exact, I dated someone who was into cocaine and that was where I got introduced to it. I have a hide for the first time with my ex-boyfriend. That's actually the last guy I had a year. Kind of only gives you the answer, but I sexually is a whole of a story. I already know the person that this is about is going to be watching this. When I was in Lancashire I got very into using cocaine. Not the worst movie I've ever made, not the worst movie I've ever made but certainly not the best. And cocaine has to sit in a kick to it, especially when you mix it with psychiatric medication, which I did very quickly. The first time I did it I was out of control. It is and probably always will be the most addictive thing I've ever done in my life. For me alcohol was a lot easier to give up than the cocaine. Time passed. It just passed so quickly and it made life, which is why for me it made it so hard to just made life livable. But the reason for that wasn't because of the drug. It was because time was moving so fast that I didn't have time to think about my life. I stopped using it the day I stopped hanging out with a group of our colleagues. And I say that as a matter of fact, not as a name-calling. I'm sorry if you got pie into a point where you black out every now and then. There's a problem. I just wish these people would realise that and go and get the help they need. We're mixed. When everybody let me have any, he wouldn't give me a lot. And then we split up. And then I was like, oh fuck, I want to end it. And I started just flirting with around the club. And I will say this categorically, I have never paid for a single ounce, gram, milligram, whatever you want to call it, of cocaine. I don't want to go back to that life. Yes, I still struggle with the edges. And yes, it's fucking horrible. I think I have like proper sidetracked or subject. I am finally now in a place where I'm not around on their people. Moving on to June, I moved into a flat with someone who I met through Twitter. I will not be saying the name for their own protection and privacy as well as my own. That I don't wish harm upon anyone. I've got to say, when I left hospital, I was very bummed. I wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't ready for it. I moved from Wembley to the inter-Central London. It was very unsettling because I'd never lived in a flat share like that before. You know, me and the person I've lived with, we got close. And this bittersweet person then disclosed, hey, I'd do drugs for such and such. Do you know anyone who'd be interested? I hate what I said next. I'd actually said, I'm a student. What do you think? And then this is where I was then invited to sell drugs to them. I tell you how much those willings paid me, who I sold. A fucking fiver is what they was going to pay me to deal a class A substance, which if you are caught with, you're going to jail. What would you call it over here? Prison? No. I'm not going to provide a service for someone that's going to kill them. I haven't even got to the core of the story app. That went away for a while. Then, like, this PR I was living with is going to these meetings and this Bulgarian, like, game over. Put these two phones down on the table, sat there. The person I was living with made claims of working with this particular person from Bulgaria. And now this is where people are going to think I'm fucking psychotic or mining or whatever. I can literally show messages of it. I was living with someone who was not only dealing drugs, this person also had people coming down and smoking, crack. This person also laundered money across the years. On this adult, well, that's what they claim. And then there was one night where I was terrified. This person I was living with turned around and said, one of the guys got hit. I didn't know what he was going to say. But I asked anyway, what do you mean? He was taken out and now I think I striped back. And at that point, I really, really felt in danger. I put in a police report. The next morning, me and the person I was living with kind of got into an argument and I wanted you to move out. I fed my mum. I was crying and tried to explain the whole situation to her. She thought I was absolutely insane. Honestly, I actually got my friend Aaron. I got all my friends to find the police on me because I didn't want to risk being overheard on the phone about it. Police came and they did a welfare check. They was like, oh, this bitch doesn't know how to do it, basically. And I moved out within a week. Within five days, I moved from central London. That's Telford. And to those you didn't know what it is, it's about four hours there, four hours back. It took two trips to get all my stuff. I ended up moving in with someone who I didn't know. I got put in a situation that was so far beyond what I could believe. When I've always spoke to a lot of people, I was like, there's no way in hell that's true. And then I send them screen shots and messages. And they're like, oh, fuck, she won't get in. Because when I was living there, I was having issues sleeping and they asked this person, hey, can you get me some Xanax? In the UK, you can get it on private prescription. You can't get Xanax on the NHS. So I asked this person to get Xanax for me. Okay, I'll see what I can do. I've actually got that. I met this person when I was in hospital. They turned my life upside down. I'm literally just hearing him. I just can't think about it. I'm just like, what if that has gone wrong? What if the person who came to the flat didn't know I was there and saw me and can kill me? It was a genuine fear for my life. And I've had people for months and then going to dispute what I say and trying to say this, trying to say that, and I couldn't prove everything I said. But I thought not the person I lived with was actually doing what they claimed, whether they was a part of this mafia group or whatever. Would I have a hard time believing I moved him with a true dealer? It's just something that confuses me a lot. This story is, I feel like I've dragged it out. And I feel like people would be like, she's just dragging it out and blah, blah, blah. Kind of all I've had all year. So yeah, that's fun. Person I was living with though, I can't even put into words how I feel towards them. I love you guys know, I am very good at controlling my anger. I have my moments. Who doesn't? This is the one person who I thought was saving me, literal hell, because of the building I used to live in, which I remember it was getting shut down. And basically I had no eyes to go by my mums and as you guys know, if you follow me on Twitter, we don't go down. And then this person from Twitter comes to me like, I'll come visit you in hospital. Thank you. That means a lot. The kids last but also visit me. And that was enough. And then we got to know each other a bit. And they said I had a room spare. And I said, well, I need a place to stay if you can attend and I moved in. I will point out that I did pay £500 up from this person. What's hard for me of this is one that only did I get treated horribly in the end of it and have all my stuff posted on the internet. Like what I spent my money on, like pictures of receipts, then going through my old phone and then trying to put a sim card in my phone and when I was in there I felt like I've mind they stole from me. And then they put it behind the unit. And then for some strange reason, he gave me a hand moving at the unit bar. And then, oh, hey Pastor, there's the phone. Like the way that this person treated me was wrong. I'm literally sharing this because don't make so many mistakes that I've made. Like seriously. Like I put myself in a very dangerous situation. I moved in with someone who for all I know could have killed me. I don't know how you're supposed to react when someone says, oh hey, there's someone who worked for the area mafia coming around. Do I want to say this? Because, could it do. This new question did come to hospital and support me from my mental health. However, this person then also went on to social media slandering me, saying I was exaggerating my mental health, overdosing and making everything up. While I was living in that person's flat, I wanted to do my about two milligrams so I could sleep. When and what was going on? That was true in July. July was one of the worst months of the year. Once I moved out, I put in another police report, name ring people, put in third numbers down, when their contact details down, or even their license plate down. Because I'm not going to get caught up in someone's illegal activities. I don't, for two seconds, believe that this person works for the mafia. I just have to put that claim to be that clear. Like I'm not losing my shit, I swear. But they do do your cocaine. They help people get cocaine. The last time I used cocaine was with that person. I actually have a photo of me from that night and it's not what you're going to expect. It made me miserable because I just fucked up a year of being sober and all it took was do you want to align? Addiction is powerful, strong and the edges don't go right. It's not a dramatic story. Like there is part of the story that is quite dramatic, but that's a whole video. And it involves Judge Rinder that we'll do it on a next time. We'll do it on a next time. Thank you for watching and I'll see you guys soon with a new video. Peace. I miss the camera. That's how tired I am. Well.