 There's a line uttered towards the end of Avatar 2, where one of the main characters says, and I am paraphrasing a bit, no one knows where the way of water begins or ends. I couldn't think of a more perfect statement for how I felt during this film, because I couldn't wait for it to be over, but the movie just kept on going. Avatar 2 may have beautiful visuals, but man does it have an ugly script. We're gonna spoil it right now. Before I jump into the spoiler discussion, feel free to subscribe to the channel and check out my regular review if you don't want anything ruined. You have been warned. We're going to now try to recount what in the hell I just watched. I mentioned this in my previous video, but the major issue I have with Avatar 2, the way of water, is James Cameron clearly is infatuated with the pretty looking stuff and doesn't really give two shits about the story, about the overall plot of what's happening. And that becomes very apparent within the first five minutes of the movie when he quickly glosses over major life-changing events like the guys are just drinking a cup of coffee. For starters, we find out that Sully has a family of four, three of his own children, and an immaculate conception. Virgin Mary-esque Star Wars Episode I-esque birth with no father that we know of. Sigourney Weaver's character from the first movie apparently had a child named Kiri. I thought they were saying Kitty the whole time, but I guess that's Kiri, I looked it up in IMDb. She's fine. She's kind of one with nature more than the rest of the Navi, able to really sink her five fingers into the ground and listen to what she's saying. Yeah, she's a hybrid. She has five fingers just like her old man instead of the traditional four that Navis are born with. So obviously this is going to lead to her being an outcast, being picked on from time to time, kind of the standard tropes you get from pretty much every movie ever. That's not even the biggest bombshell though. We're also told within that same span of like three minutes that General Khorich, who died at the end of the first film, kind of, also has a son who was just a little baby in the first movie we didn't see. And I guess he was too little to leave the planet because they don't have baby pods. So he was left behind and being raised by the Navi as their own. Except for Natiri, who will never look at the child as one of their own because he's a human and not a Navi. Did Cameron forget who Natiri is in the first movie she fell in love with a very human Jake Sully. Sure he was in an avatar as a Navi but she knew he was a man. Like I just, that was such a wild separation from the first and the fact that it's only brought up like one time where she's like, he'll never be one of us. He's a trash human. It was just weird. Like why do that to her? And I have to say, Natiri in general completely wasted in this movie. Zoe Saldana was a treasure in the first film. Here she's just relegated to a side character in the background so that we can have more time with the dumb ass kids. We also found out that Courage in the first movie, Off Camera of course, everything happened Off Camera in the first movie gave the company access to his brain, his memories, pretty much everything about himself and they were able to upload that into a brand spanking new avatar on their ship, off the planet so that when they got there in a few years time like 13 or 14 it looked like. Yeah, he'd be ready to go after Jake Sully again because that's his primary goal. It's actually his only goal. This thing is such a narrative shit show. I just don't know what they were thinking. The overall plot, which is brought up one time and then they never go back to it because this is presumably something they're gonna dive into more in future movies. Earth is no longer hospitable and they have to move everyone to this new planet of Pandora. I know, Earth not being able to be lived on anymore. This is a crazy new concept that's never been done in every single sci-fi thing ever. But don't worry, it never comes up again and we really don't even hear from these people more than that initial time. They're just gonna be burning the woods down to the ground in the distance. We don't have to worry about that. What we're really only concerned about is the well-being of Jake Sully and his new family because the general's goal as this new douche avatar is to hunt him down in his family for revenge. That's what the large corporation brought him back to life to do. Kill the leader of the Navi tribe. And once he leaves that Navi tribe, they're still gonna have him go after him because profit, I don't know, it doesn't matter. We'll get there. We're gonna spend a stupid amount of time with Jake Sully's children who range from passable to outright unlikeable and stupid. The one kid is such an obnoxious little shit, constantly going against his father's wishes to the point where it's like, Jake, if you don't want him to go to this destination, tell him to go to that destination because he's just gonna do the opposite. And these children will go on to get kidnapped, not once, not twice, not 17 times, but like a thousand times through the course of this movie. Apparently the new Mario Brothers movie came out early because all I was seeing from Avatar 2 was Princess Peach getting kidnapped and put in different places. Let's get down to brass tacks. General Douchebag and his meathead gang of avatars are roaming around trying to find Sully. In order to do so, they kidnap his kids naturally, as one does, setting up some bait. Sully takes it, kills a couple of the guys, gets the kids back, except for one. Spider, but who cares? Right, Natiri? He's a human child, we don't need him. This Justin Bieber with dreadlocks little fucker gets taken onto the ship. They start torturing his ass until the general comes in and plays the dad card. Then suddenly this boy like instantly does a complete 180 and starts befriending him. It's kind of like ingest a little, but he still seems to be having a pretty good time and he has no problem teaching these people how to like ride the dragons and how to find the Navi base. It's such a weird character shift, I didn't understand it at all. So the boys in blue scare Jake. He knows they're gonna be hunting him, coming after him, so what's he do? Does he rally up the troops again like he did in the first movie? Become that fierce fighter, that brave warrior, they know and respect. We already established, even in this movie, that he's very smart when it comes to strategy. He's been taking out some of the equipment, some of the machinery, and not losing many casualties along the way. So yeah, he's gonna kick some ass now, right? Wrong! Instead, he's gonna abandon the entire tribe. Leave them for dead, presumably. The general and his team of like five didn't even make it to their main location. They got like a little close, spooked them a bit, and that was it. Sully has the upper hand here. They can't even get into the base with their planes because the dragons take them out. That was established. And yet he's like, they're not gonna stop until they get me. We have to leave for the good of everyone. How is that for the good of everyone? This thing was so rushed too. Naterious like, this is the bow that my father gave me. He died fighting for this tribe. I can't just leave them. And he's like, well, you can though. And then she's like, oh, I didn't think about it that way, bro. Yeah, let's leave. And then after like a three minute scene where the wise elders slashes across his chest, symbolizing he's dead to them, they leave. They bolt. Why is just Jake dead to them? And not the others, by the way. That seemed bizarre. Now I am checked out. And we are only like 40 minutes into this film because as far as Jake knows, they have captured spider, a little boy, like he's like 13. And he's most likely gonna tell them the whereabouts of the tribe. They don't know that Jake has fled. And why wouldn't the general, who we've already established from the first film and this one to be a total prick, wouldn't burn that village to the ground? He has no reason not to go in there and start killing everyone or beating them for information. Instead, he's like, oh, I think he moved on. Let's just leave them alone. What? And to that effect, the corporation knows that the Navi are a threat and they want them wiped out. Like Jake might be the leader, but if you know he's left now and isn't leading them, you still have that threat there. Anyway, they move to Waterworld now. Now they're in Waterworld. And there's a new tribe of Navi that have little mermaid tail things and they have bigger jacked arms. And some of them are nice. Some of them are kind of hot. Especially the mom, who I can't remember if she was pregnant when they first showed her or if that was to show the passage of time later when she gets the belly. Either way, 10-10 would still hit. Jake, I'm a total dumbass, Sully takes the family to this new place, which didn't seem like it was even that far, by the way. He knows the general's gonna go after them. And now he's putting this new tribe in the line of fire. Doesn't really say much about it either. He's just like, yeah, we can't stay where we were before. And the new leader is like, okay, that's fine, that checks out. James Cameron then spends the next hour and a half or so just having our Navi interact with these new characters and riding on whales and dolphin type dragon things and just, you know, splashing around in the water. It looks gorgeous. Don't get me wrong. It looks beautiful. And there's some very special moments. There's also a really cool Jaws-esque sequence where one of the sons gets in trouble because he's a dipshit and this whale thing is going after. I'm trying to kill him. How he gets in this predicament is quite simple. He's trying to be friends with this new baby blue group, the bullies, and they are like, hey, why don't you join us for a hunt? We're gonna go past the border and go after some bigger game. That's what the men do. And he's like, I'm in. So they take him out there. They have him go underwater and then they bolt. They just leave his ass behind. And this is a part of the film where I'm like, oh my God, James Cameron's gonna do something really crazy here. This is gonna get really interesting. But then I remember this is a dumb ass blockbuster film for all ages. He's not gonna take any chances. So instead, the boy gets saved. But what I wanted to happen was for this kid to drown to death, because that's how it was getting set up. He's out of air. He can't make it to the top. And then what would this have done? Well, it would have obviously springboarded a freaking tribal war. It would have been epic. You would have had these two tribes clashing. Meanwhile, you got the other guy in pursuit in the distance. So you have a thread at home and you have a threat away. It would have been fantastic. But instead it turns into Free Willy. And the boy gets saved by this whale thing. He pulls out a spear hook. And he's like, we're friends now. We're best friends now. And they are and it's magical. So it's a good time. And when I say Free Willy, I'm not even really being sarcastic. This is legitimately a major plot point to the film. The boy and his whale are outcasts now. They're not accepted into the tribe because that whale's a killer. It's killed some things in the past. But the boy will find out after linking inside of his body that that's not true. That's not what really happened. It's powerful stuff. Kiri's got some stuff going on too. Typically we find her just kind of frolicking around, staring at grass blades, looking at sand pebbles. But we find out later that if she mind melds with the giving tree, she can go into epileptic shock. It's not good. She almost died. It's tough. And they say if she does that again, it's game over. I mean, she does it multiple times. Not with the tree of life, but with other things. And she's kind of got an avatar, the last airbender ability, where she can bend creatures and water and stuff. Well, not really water. Just plants, I guess. Just plants. It's not great. It's cool for like a moment, but then all she does with it is make fireflies dance around. Anyway, the whole plot of her linking up never comes up again. Maybe it did. And I passed out out of sheer hatred for myself in this film, but I don't believe it does. They're probably saving that for the third or fourth or fifth or sixth movie to come. At one point, it turns into Moby Dick too, where they have a bunch of scientists and bad guys whale hunting, and they kill this fucker, and then they take out the brain shit, which makes people live forever. And then they sell it. I think he said it was like $80 million or $800 million. Just an astronomical number, but he's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. Now we got it. I'm gonna live forever. Even though we already can do that by putting our brains into avatars. So, you know, with all the technology they have, couldn't they just freaking bomb some of these places? Like the island base is just out in the open. I understand the trees might be more challenging, although I would think they would have a drone or a satellite that could just pinpoint to go psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, and blow it up. But like the island stuff, you should be able to just fly over there and drop some bombs on it. That's game over for Sully. No, instead they have speedboats and they have crab machines. Crab people, crab people. And they go around going after the kids. Again, because the toadstools and the toadettes and the princess peaches are all just fleeing for their lives constantly in this movie. And Jake Sully, by the way, he's just MIA constantly. I feel like he's not even that far away half the time. And they're like, dad's coming or there's no one to save you. And then we jump to Jake Sully who's like eating a hot dog on the beach. Back to kids fleeing. Ah! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Eee, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's good stuff. And then one of the kids dies. Boom. There's some stakes here, folks. There's some consequences. It's not the dumb one though that constantly doesn't listen to his father. It's the eldest. I'm not gonna lie to you. I couldn't tell him apart half the time. Call me blueist, but a lot of these Navi look the same. They all kind of share Jake's facial features. So the two brothers and Jake, I mean, I just like, I'm like, who is that? Who's that one? He's blue, he's got a tail. I really don't know. But yeah, Jake blew it. One of his kids died. And there's a funeral. There's a whole like procession. It just goes on for an eternity. I could not wait till it ended, honestly. And it once again ends with another fight scene that goes on way too long. And then for some reason, the son saves the father at the end. Animal boy or monkey boy or whatever. He swims down. He's like, ah, I better save this jackass for reasons I don't know, because I guess the dad felt something for his son earlier when he didn't kill him. Come on. Just, just why? Just why? The movie finally does me the service of ending on a shot of Jake's eyes opening, just like they did in the first film. It's a callback to the first movie. And a reminder of how much better that was. How enjoyable and mind-altering and just what a fun ride. In the shorter ride it was. Now here we are with Avatar 2. No one learns a single lesson in this movie, by the way. No lessons are learned, except for, I guess, Jake and Natiri who are like, maybe we should listen to our kids more than ever. That, I guess, is something. But yeah, they're gonna stay in fight with the ocean people because they couldn't have done that back home at a much better vantage point, at a more secure place with people that they grew up with and loved and fought for. That they just abandoned outright. And they're never mentioned again, by the way. We don't ever go back to that tribe. For all we know, they're burned to the ground. It's a, yeah, but plot's really bad. It's really stupid. It makes Jake look like a weak leader and just kind of a bad person all around. Bad father, bad everything. But, you know, he's the main guy still. Natiri, completely sidelined in this film, has nothing to do outside of, at one point, get really mad that her son's dead and go on a little killing spree. That was fun. It was way too late, though. I didn't care. Yeah, this was a huge disappointment. And this is a guy that loves every James Cameron movie. Some of my favorite films are from James Cameron. You got Terminator 1 and 2. You have Aliens, Superior, Seek with Alien. I shouldn't say Superior. It's just, it's a fantastic movie outright. They're very different films. True lies, I love it. The Abyss, I love it. I mean, he just, he doesn't miss until now, I guess. And I think it's because he just had too much time, too much say, no pushback at all from what I can tell. And this is, it's the Lucas thing all over again. Except for sadly, I'd rather watch episode one of Star Wars than I would watch this again. Too long, too disjointed, too silly. And yeah, there's some great stuff in here. There's some magical moments, especially the National Geographic-esque scenes. Overall though, I don't ever wanna see this again. And it honestly kind of tarnishes the first a little bit for me. Anyway, let me know your thoughts. Did you love this? Did you hate it too? Leave a comment below. Let me know. Sorry if I missed any plot points. It's, I'm running fast and loose. A lot happened yet simultaneously nothing happens. Like the video if you had a good time. Subscribe if you haven't. I post tons of movie reviews every single week. We'll have to see you stick around. Take care. I have tons of fun videos on this channel but I also encourage you to check out my brand new one, Adam After Dark where I do two to four minute skit videos. They're stupid. They're observational humor. It's a good time. 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