 So today we're gonna talk about getting ready to receive the right man for you And you need to do these five things and before we get started I just want to share with you that I saw this title and Stefan speaks YouTube channel and while I briefly watched I realized I had a completely different take than him So I'll be sharing my perspective on this particular title and and let me just say this It is absolutely Okay to want a life partner. I'm like there's let me repeat that it is Absolutely, okay to want a life partner to desire that to make effort to make it happen in your life What's not okay? And and and this is a judgment. I'll be candid with you What's not okay is chasing somebody Chasing their affections trying to convince someone to love you holding out for someone to love you or Operate from a place of desperation or worse operating from a place of Jadedness, okay, and sadly we have a significant percentage of the population that is deeply wounded from past relationships and They haven't done these five things to prepare themselves So this title is all about getting in that preparedness state to attract the ideal partner in your life Well, since I mentioned chasing I want to share with you I shared this the other day, but I'm gonna repeat myself This was my Instagram post and this was my post on YouTube for New Year's Day and The meme and and what I typically do is I post to me and this is critically important to this conversation So stick with me here for a second and I'll get to those five things in just a moment Okay, but what I typically do is I find a meme That's a quote that I like and then I write a short blog on it. So the quote goes like this Maybe it won't work out But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure of your life Okay, that's the quote. Now my blog on it is the following. Okay in The past few months since my relationship ended I've received dozens of DMs Respectfully expressing romantic interest in getting to know me While such a gesture might offend some folks and I was thinking how women get offended by men who slide in the DMs and their Instagram whatnot I See that it takes courage particularly for a woman to reach out to a man. I think that takes courage. I Said in my book it takes courage because rejection will most likely result in what I mean to say if I don't express Interest they're going to feel rejected But they go ahead anyway My friends thought I was a fool to begin my coaching practice 15 years ago And I'm one of the top coaches in the country for my niche Taking a chance might be one of the greatest gifts we give ourselves And I think and think of the story you get to tell if you take a chance May 2024 not May 24 may the year 2024 Be the year you take big chances, especially when it comes to love and So I'm here to say is Before you take big chances in love. I really want you to I want you to Metabolize What I'm about to share with you. I want you to let it sink in I want you to let it Marinate because this is so critically important for Relationship success. I can't begin to stress the importance of these five things going forward and since this is the new year And if you're watching this video in the middle of the year, it doesn't matter because it's a new Adventure for you today. I want you to embody these five things. So here's my notes I'm gonna share that with you and I'm gonna read from my notes. So the first thing you must do You must do it's a moral imperative for your relationship success is Being your best self being your best self Now the way I look at that and I wrote this down is including a a being in a good place in your physical World and your physical world might be where you live The profession you're in your physical health of your body being in the best place You can boss possibly be at this moment in time now That's always a moving target, but are you in a good place? physically in your life Physically again is the world you live in your profession your physical body your profession they say that And your location okay in addition it includes your emotional well-being being your best self emotionally What that means is healing from the past Healing from the past and more importantly, I'm a big proponent of A daily practice of personal development self-help and spiritual work if you you're not familiar with the book Brand new to my channel. Oh, I forgot to turn off the ringer on my phone today. I Highly recommend reading the book the Hoffman process by the way in the link below and in the comments section You'll see all the links. I'll be recommending today. This is a deep dive into healing your childhood wounds and adult traumas Not so specifically for relationships, although it will give you a guide into Healing your past relationships. I can say with a fair amount of certainty. I Believe there's something like a hundred million singles in the United States I I believe that to be true. Can someone look that up for me really quickly. I believe that's the case. I Venture to say 80 million of them are Emotionally wounded. They're emotionally constipated. They're emotionally a train wreck and by the way, I'm speaking to you Because I'm also speaking to myself You see the reality is as many of us have done little or no work to heal The wounds of our past relationships and that's there no one it's no wonder What's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting different results dating the same guy? just a different haircut The same guy just a different haircut over and over again So if you really want to be ready to receive the right man and by the way everything I'm sharing here Men have to do this too. You guys if a guy is watching this right now, you don't get off Well, you can get off whenever you want if I mean What I mean to say you you're in this same boat Because a woman who does these five things you better be with a man who's done these five things ladies Because you are wasting your time if you're with a man who hasn't done these five Things okay, so the first thing being your best self being your best self number two Now I wrote this down Clarity on relationships in general clarity on relationships in general and how to vet for compatibility How to vet for compatibility? Folks you guys I got to tell you something most of you have this pie in the sky Fantasy version of what a relationship is like and men have no fucking clue what they want in a relationship They're just winging it. They're just like if I just meet a warm body and they work out This is perfect guys are just fucking clueless But Jonathan all the other coaches tell me to sit back in my feminine energy and let a man lead and the red pill Community tells me that the men are the leaders of the relationship and my job is just to submit to a man Because they all know what they're doing Well, if that was so fucking true Then why do 80% of divorce or 75% of divorces are initiated by women if men are so good at this Why do you give the leadership role to the wrong person you are in charge of your relationship destiny not a guy But Jonathan I'm more attracted to a guy who's a leader. I'm more attracted to that. Listen. I'm not suggesting That you play either the the mom in the relationship or the doormat in the relationship I'm here to encourage Conscious partnership with another human being. I'm here to encourage Conscious attachment. I'm here to encourage a different way of going about it. And when I said earlier, it's not about understanding Relationships. It's understanding the vetting process folks It's insane out there I mean, it's a clusterfuck with these devices We now have access to hundreds of thousands of people hundreds and or thousands of people and Then that we you know You're talking to five guys and he's talking to five different women and maybe you're talking at the same time But then you get distracted and you go over here. I'm just using dating sites as the example but it could be even in real life It is absolutely confusing and you spend time texting someone and after a while you're like Yeah, they're fucking boring or god that we are so not on the same page See understanding vetting is all about knowing who you are and what you want knowing who you are and what you want and Then asking the right questions I advocate for something called radical honesty laying your cards on the table and the rules of engagement at the very onset Because if you don't operate this way, what's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and over again Expecting a different results and then pretty soon you're like, well, I don't want to wait at least says what's with the extra swearing tonight? Oh I'm letting it all out Number three how to meet and how to flirt Folks you gotta listen whether we like it or not Prince charming. You're not going to the ball and hoping that your slipper falls off and he finds you Okay, or that's not how it worked. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, that's kind of how it worked But it's not going to work that way. You have to make effort I give credit to the women who at least made effort to either like hey Jonathan's an interesting guy Let's see if we're a fit with one another. Okay, I mean, yeah, it's a risk But you got to put yourself out there and if you're gonna put yourself out there You better learn flirting techniques because the reality is is folks When you're meeting here, I'm talking to the microphone when you're meeting a total stranger You know without that spark without that flirtation without that cuteness without that silliness Do you know why so few women get a second date? Because they weren't very fun on the date. I Gotta tell you something. I've gone out. Oh my god I went out with one woman She walked into the restaurant. I swear she had resting bitch face. I mean the look on her face I thought she was gonna crap I mean her ass was so tight. You could put a Choke hole up her ass and there would be a diamond in a few hours um Oh and god forbid I mean you go on a date with a woman and by the way you ladies have had the same issues with men They're boring. They're they're all about themselves. They're rude But I mean I can't tell you how many times I've gone on a date with a woman You could see every guy that's ever hurt her Standing right behind her. I mean it's like you could just see the wall of men that have hurt her based on the way She communicated folks You've got to learn how to meet and How to flirt this isn't my area of expertise, okay? I'm not here My coaching is all centered around that vetting that clarity process That's where by the way, there's a link below to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coaches right for you So but you got to learn the skill it's a skill Whether you like it or not It's a skill You you can you can be angry, but Jonathan I wanted the way it used to be I want the old in ways I wanted to be easy because it seemed like folks Yes, I recognize in olden times People mated within their tribe. It was easy. There's a hundred and fifty people in the tribe 75 women 75 men some of them little boys and girls some of them senior citizens and a lot of people You know, there was young boys and young girls of which there were 20 and they made it from that group, okay? We don't live in that environment. You cannot keep Hoping for some fantasy, but Jonathan magic fairy dust always works because if I fantasize about it enough folks Inspired effort is gonna get you what you want effort number four Okay, look You met the man of your dreams, okay? He's the greatest guy on the planet You're the greatest woman on the planet But if you don't know how to and I'm here's number four how to maintain and make a relationship thrive You're fucked. I'm sorry. You know, you know, and like if you let me think of look it I look at here's a book take out the word marriage and replace it with relationship Seven principles for making a relationship work by John Gottman By the way link below to get the book if you don't and he doesn't know how to make a relationship work Why is it that second and third marriages end at a rate of 65 to 75 percent? You would think You would be better at it. Well, we're older. We're smarter. No What the older you get the stupider human beings are because they make stupid choices based on chemistry Without true compatibility Do not familiar with my relationship iceberg here Most of you are familiar with it. Okay above the water line is attraction. That's what we say first compatibility is shared values along with the shared vision Blendable lifestyles and more importantly emotional maturity and we're swimming in a sea of emotional dysfunctionality By the way, I get so hyper I yell at the top of my lungs because my role here on this planet is to be the wake-up call To wake you wake humans up By the way, if I'm doing a good job saying put in the chat box. Yes, you're doing a good job waking us up Okay, so within making maintain and make a relationship thrive. It includes conflict resolution skills I'm gonna repeat that conflict resolution skills Regular intimate time. You should be fucking on a regular basis. It's important To have sex under I'm sorry Jonathan. That was so offensive to say fucking okay for those that felt offended by it Making love all the time couples that make love at least three times a week have the greatest chance for a relationship success I know one couple who said that we we never go more than 48 hours without physical intimacy We never go 48 hours. So that works out to three and a half times a week Okay Regular intimate time also teamwork teamwork With Jonathan, I'm in a long-distance relationship and we spend hours upon hours upon hours on the phone And we've been in this relationship for five years, but we still never met each other You know, I got to tell you something when I hear story like you guys are so fucking insane How you'll you call it a relationship But you've never met the person or you call it a relationship that you see each other once or twice a year I get it. It's in your mind, but those are cyber relationships I'm here to talk about those people that want to spend On average of three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests Spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in their personal and their professional life intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy That leads to something serious You got to have play you have to flirt you have to integrate into each other's lives And you need to have this awareness before you go out there in the dating marketplace You should be like a you should be have a phd at this shit Okay number five Bum-ba-da-bum-bum-ba number five I want you to write this down someone write it down for me Enter the vortex and the vibration enter the vortex and the vibration So What is the vortex? What is the vibration? If you really want to attract and receive the man of your dreams You have to be in the right Vibration to attract them in think of it like a tuning fork Think of it like a tuning fork Yesterday I shared with everybody That I had a six-hour conversation with a woman and while it isn't going to go the distance Or it's not going to turn into a date because there is a geographic challenge I had one of those amazing Conversations where it was so synchronous of this so So aligned it felt like I was on a seesaw and she was talking and I was talking and she was talking And it was respectful and I I made notes of what it felt like afterwards because you because this is being in the vortex So beside the fact that she recognized me professionally she immediately called me handsome now to us leo Hey, we love it. Okay the ladies. I got to tell you something men get so few compliments So when a woman throws out an attractive the word attracted or handsome, I mean that's like ding ding ding ding ding She was easy to talk to it was easy to have this conversation. She talked with me and not at me We seem to share the same values. We seem to have a connection with the divine We even talked about sex a little bit and we were on the same page I was very attracted to her and she was my body type like I mean for us guys This is important shit She was flirty cute and silly. Oh my god when she laughed she literally had one of those snorts In the when like the laugh and then there would be a snort. Oh my god I thought it was adorable and she said these things to me that were so cute She goes she said something like what like the highlight of my day is going Shopping and doing the dishes with my partner. I said stop talking dirty to me This is pornography because those are the things that I like to do too. I'm very simple I don't need to be going out on it. I'm a home body. In fact, she was a home body um She had a normal and average childhood I figured, you know, like that saves a lot of frustration and in therapy She was open for full commitment. We both shared our same views on politics and religion She was open to spiritual journeys. Most of you know, I like to do plant-based medicine journeys to explore deeper consciousness She's laid back lifestyle and she respected our communication. She did something She said something to our conversation. She said, you know, am I talking too much right now? And I just go holy fucking shit That's that's ninja level awareness to be aware of that why I'm sharing this with you is I am so grateful for this experience. It's to be So if you're in a state if you're in the vortex and vibration, it's about being Recognizing what you want to feel and be in a state of gratitude for this You know, mostly many of you will get so hung up and start to try to manipulate and try to figure out how to make this work It's like this was a six-hour relationship. It had, you know, the first date was two hours The middle date was two hours and our last ever date was two hours. That's it And that's okay But I'm in the vortex Being in your vibrational state and most importantly Being in a state of gratitude god universe spirit. I am so grateful for all the experiences I've had to this point in my life Every single relationship that I've had whether it was the first girl my first girlfriend sherry, whether it was my ex-wife erin Whether it was the woman that had got me involved in this business alley Whether it was angela whether it was the other sherry m And whether it was marie or even this woman nina all of them were part of my experiences And I'm so grateful for every single experience because it is preparing me To receive and I invite you all to look at your past relationships And get into the vortex Of gratitude because every relationship is preparing you for this new relationship in your life god universe spirit I invite that in for myself and everyone else watching Ah Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know If it is I'd like to hear your thoughts post a comment below. I do my best to read them all And if you're uh, if you've been if you like this video, please hit that like button Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well So you can be notified of new videos All right, bump, but a bump bump bump. It's time for q&a for those who know my format If you have a question Write the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker super chat There's a little dollar sign the chat box all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor asley That's him right there. Oh, we a little salty there He passed away over five years ago in his honor We donate to causes like the hoffman process and insight institute and we also Goes towards scholarships for coaching with me So our goal so hit that little dollar sign if you're watching the replay hit the super. Thanks By the way, our goal is 50 dollars tonight 50 dollars. Come on Let's get some love in the house okay Emily who's a coach says each yes each person we meet can help prepare us and help us to become better If you haven't seen someone write this down if you have not seen the netflix series called Black mirror there is an amazing episode called hang the dj hang the dj Hang the dj hang. Who is that the cure? Um, hey google Hey google Who's saying hang the dj? Oh, it's recorded by the business. I had no idea Okay, so hang the dj great illustration of why everything happens for a reason um Okay, uh By the way to one of our facebook members. Uh, by the way the the dollar sign is only on the youtube live Chat not in the facebook group chat right now. Okay. All right. I saw Melanie is in the house Do you think we can be blocking what the universe is delivering a great six hour conversation and vibe might be worth exploring? Okay If I didn't illustrate this before I made the overture for wanting to explore the relationship She said she wasn't interested because she needs to be within two hours of her family at any given time So I I put the effort out there, but you see here's the thing When it's right, you don't have to you don't have to walk like I mean I'm kind of Dramatizing this you don't have to walk through glass to make it work. It's just I see you have to recognize that When we chase Impossible situations that the universe isn't saying try harder try harder try harder the universe says try It's it's kind of like, you know It's it's kind of like you try if it works great if it doesn't don't get attached to the outcome Folks I've been rereading the book if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated I highly recommend reading it the links below. Okay highly recommend reading it Now one of the primary reasons why I want you to read this book It throws out all the bullshit gender rhetoric the gender role based way of dating I can't I I am so fucking tired of gender based way of dating because guess what if gender role based dating was so Fucking great. Why do we have such a high divorce rate for second and third marriages? Why our relationships miserable if gender roles are so fucking great? Okay Do you know what's better? Read this book spiritual partnership by gary zucca read this book Seven principles for making marriage work by john gotman read this book Eight dates by doctors john and julie gotman This is fuck gender roles read this shit. Remember I said the first thing on my list Well, I said being your best self, but how to maintain and make a relationship thrive It's not about gender roles, but jonathan i'm just supposed to sit back at my feminine energy I'm too much in my masculine and it's turning men off. Well, if you're turning men off It's probably because you're a fucking pain in the ass Okay, stop being a pain in the ass. And by the way guys who are listening this Stop being assholes. You guys are dicks Dudes if okay, I'm speaking to the men who might be watching this right now listen dudes If I you got a first date coming up. I wished I could be there on that first date for that woman Okay, I'd have my shot gonna point it at your face and I'd go What's your fucking intentions with my little sister with my niece with my daughter here because you guys You guys are being dicks right now dating It's all about you getting off and you only care about your own needs not all men But a lot of guys, okay A lot of you guys only care about yourself and you're you're irresponsible because You're irresponsible because feelings matter. So I'm gonna read to you. Okay. I'm I'm on a roll here right now But I'm speaking to guys right now This was from Jillian Turekki who I interviewed on my channel. She said Relationships need safety We create safety for each other by being honest Consistent communicative present with each other. We are a safer partner when someone can be their true selves with us And I went on to write by the way, someone write. Okay, so I went on to write the following conscious dating differs from conventional dating Because it sets a standard of intentionality respect and protection You see our current dating environment is based on let's Let's wait and see if this is real with the mindset of only meeting one's own needs It's centered around what can I get Instead of what can I give? Basically, it's all about me versus we In contrast conscious dating starts with an intentional mindset. Are we a fit for one another? And being careful that going in physically before true emotional connection and commitment has been established could end up with hurt feelings It recognizes that words matter Because they demonstrate integrity It leads by being protective of the other person emotionally and physically By the way, who here agrees? By the way, if you'd like to read this post, uh, click the link to join my instagram. Uh, it's in the description below Okay, I went on a rant. So there we go Um, Gina says sadly most most here are probably in the vibration. No, Gina The people in vibration are not here. I I'm sorry to burst your bubble here The reason why you're following my channel is because there's a lot more work that needs to be done to be get into the vibration Everybody thinks they're the exception and that's why They're not as happy as they'd like to be. Anyway, that's my point. Um All right, elizabeth's in the house A guy says he wants to take it slow been cheated on twice and coroners Wait And coroners aiming more stress. I don't know what that is. Can he eventually come around doesn't like to talk about the past Okay, here's the deal You say look you can take it as slow as you want when the the penis only gets to go in the vagina When you clearly want to court me When you clearly want to court me What did I talk about? Where's my uh All right, so my this was my notes from last night's video. By the way, I threw all this shit on the floor. I'm glad I did Look at here's the deal. You want to go slow? No problem We can go as slow as you want your penis doesn't get to go inside my vagina until you go all in Explore and all in simply means we're going all in to explore a relationship together This means emotionally physically logistically spiritually and financially So you can go as slow as you want you don't get the vagina until you go all in Until you declare until you court me motherfucker By the way, okay, I'm I'm Pretty hyper tonight. I'm cursing a lot. So obviously I'm I'm riled up here today But I hope you get the gist of where I'm going with this It's when I curse it's about making a stand for your sovereignty. It's about making a stand for It's making a stand for what you truly want in relationship I just don't want I'm yelling and I'm screaming and I'm cursing just to make sure you hear me Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know. Hey Jenny Thanks for the five-dollar super sticker Margaret Big hugs for the $15 super sticker. I really appreciate it and I'm glad we worked out that issue I apologize if I seemed rude. I I try to read these comments and sometimes I pass by them I miss them. It's not that easy. They're popping up on the screen like you can't believe But thank you Margaret. I appreciate the love power of cheese in the house What do you think of the netflix show called love on the spectrum? Have you ever dated a woman that was on the spectrum? Well, first off every woman is on the spectrum. I mean you guys are all I mean what you know, I mean I think every woman is insane. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding Okay, I've watched the show love on the spectrum and I fell in love with it Who's that kid from australia? I think is michael. Oh my god. He he's just all he wants He tries so hard. I think he's so adorable Um, I think every human. Okay. Let me just say this. Those are legitimate young adults with um Whether it's as burgers whether it's some level of autism or whatnot, but I would say emotionally speaking Okay, emotionally speaking Every human is on the spectrum Emotional maturity relationship skills. This is not a fact. It's merely an opinion I believe 20 percent of the population has clinical issues when it comes their emotional maturity and relationship skills And while I say here 20 percent is healthy I'm being generous. I really have no clue if it's even close to 20 Most everybody is dysfunctional. So we're all on the spectrum to some extent But thank you for that post power of cheese. I really appreciate it um Emily says what are the top two books you recommend? Well, let's start with my book what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development Self-help spiritual work link below to get a copy of my book. Uh the book You know what folks Two books. Okay, two bucks I I mean, I could I've got dozens of books I love the untethered soul. It is it's not a dating a relationship book. It's a mindset book. It's the it's it's a It's a book for your soul. Okay, Heather untethered soul And then I'd come back to if you really want to change your love life read the buddha dated I love this book. I've read it several times now. I'm just rereading it. I've just finished Uh listening to it again. Oh, well, I read it first and I'm listening to it again I um, I've got so many books to recommend but those are two that are top of just top of mine right now Okay, Evelyn, I'll get to your question. But nw. What's what's a pain in the ass example? um You know what? Okay Uh Does anyone know this song I'm singing if you know it post it there, uh, we're gonna have a little contest It's just it's on my mind. I love this song. Okay the book the rules Oh my god, this stupid fucking book It teaches women stupid game playing Don't tax don't do this don't do that make the guy chase make the guy do all the work Those are examples of pain in the ass. I I can't stand non responsive people And I personally can't stand women who aren't inquisitive. I really it's that's a pet peeve of mine Um, so those are just a couple things but the book of the rule the book the rules Teaches a big chunk of this book is all game playing and that's pain in the ass example Okay Question from evelin He was involved with me. He was in love with me I'm going through a divorce. We can't leave each other alone We keep start chatting again after trying to leave each other alone started chatting again now He's so formal why? He's in love with me. I'm going Well, you're going through a divorce so you're not a hundred percent available actually Men who date divorced women they do it because Um, they know you're not available and when you become available they they they do an exit clause Folks, you shouldn't be sleeping and having sex with somebody who is still married But jonathan i'm in my marriage is going through look at if you're going through a divorce just remember That you're not clean and I don't mean I mean emotionally clean Most people need a couple years after a divorce to be in a good state if you're still entangled with another human being He just might not want to be involved with that entanglement. That's just one possible reason um You guys are probably together because the sex is oh my god jonathan the sex is the most amazing I've ever had oh my god It's unlike whatever I had because I was in a loveless marriage and I never had really good sex before that and the sex Wasn't good at my marriage and all of a sudden this is the best sex I've ever had We can't keep our hands off each other. But are you guys really building the deep roots of trust? Are you doing it through teamwork social activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends? Or do you just get together and have sex? And the minute it becomes a little bit more emotional he gets formal because he doesn't want to go there Anyways that's just Just some rough ideas Hey Margaret just gave us a 15 dollar super sticker. Is that a new one or second? Well, I can't keep keep track. Thanks so much Facebook member group by the way if you want to join my private group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis Check out the link to midlife love mastery. We have a facebook group. I interact with members. I post Things they get advanced videos Compared to other videos I post It's a great way to stay connected with me. And she says conscious dating differs from conventional dating exactly Elizabeth is back in the house How do you deal with someone that wants to take it slow? Oh, we already did this Bump bump. Hey Gina just gave us a dollar Super sticker. All right. I'm looking for questions No, it's not tequila. It's not love bomb at la bomba. It's not pee we Herman I got my head out the sunroof. I'm blasting our favorite tunes. You're you're the only one I've got on my mind I love that song Sunroof I've got my head out the sunroof. I'm blasting our favorite tunes You've got uh, bomb, ba na na na Okay, Laura's in the house Question I preserve my cookie. You have to be very special to enter. Well, that's not a question But thanks for making the statement Uh, Evelyn says thank you. You're very welcome. Um, Emily, I am sorry. You have to keep repeating questions. I just can't see them Unless the word question is there and post the question. I sometimes miss them There's a lot of stuff going on here. Let me go back Bump ba na na na Oh, here we go Got to write the word question It makes it easier for me to find in all caps Curious about this. Do some men like kiss not like kissing? Why would they not want to kiss? But they're perfectly fine with sex. Is it intimacy issue? You know what? I I'm not a bio. I'm not a Behavioral scientist, uh, particularly in this area. So I'm just going to give you my rough ideas Okay Most guys have sex just for the purpose of ejaculation Okay, most guys have sex for the purpose of their physical orgasm in addition A lot of men will want to make sure you have an orgasm because it it's it's actually An ego boost for us if we feel like we could get you to orgasm. It's an ego boost for us So it's a lot of ego based Ejaculation having pleasure, you know, you feeling pleasure. Okay, so just understand that probably 80 percent of men Operate from that very few men No true love making no true intimacy in the bedroom very few men. No true intimacy in the bedroom Okay I'm smacking my lips by the way for that for that person that keeps reminding me Okay, so kissing You know think about the movie pretty woman Okay, does anyone remember pretty woman with julia roberts and richard gear? And she happens to be a sex worker and she goes up to his penthouse room at the beaverly wilshire hotel And the first thing she says to him when they're about to have sex is no kissing no kissing Like it's interesting This was okay, but kissing was not okay kissing actually, you know, it's funny how we've reduced kissing To a non intimate event I think kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with another human being And some men are bad kissers some men have bad breath some men can't stand a woman's breath Well, let's not go down there about that breath So anyway, those are just some rough thoughts The top of my head of what might be coming up. But again, I I would speak to Somebody who specializes in that area. I just can't tell you why look I love kissing. Oh my god I fucking love kissing. I mean it's been six months since I really made out with anyone Who here misses making out raise your hand say I miss making out because I'm raising my hand. I miss making out I love making out Beach lover says Jonathan Has an earth earworm. I've got my head out the sunroof exactly Okay Oh god, I got some food in my mouth Question I know you said no penis in the vagina But what about heavy petting like first base second base third base is heavy petting off the table too um Sorry, I got something in my tooth um You know You got to do what's right for you. I mean The problem is if you're heavy petting with the wrong person It's a letdown if you're heavy petting with a person incapable to commit It's a letdown if you're heavy petting With somebody you're never going to see again. That's a letdown I'm here to encourage you know Folks many of you know My significant relationship ended roughly about six months ago And I haven't gone on a date I haven't gone on a date I haven't kissed anyone And I really don't plan on doing Duty dating circular dating, you know numbers way dating. I have no intent to do Tradition or the current dating practices, okay I really only want to invest my my body my soul my spirit to someone who has strong potential So i'll be vetting them heavily before I invest my you know my physical presence with someone And I hope she has done the same and I hope we have a synergetic meeting And then if we explore a physical intimate relationship, we do it with consciousness I'm here to promote a more intentional conscious way of dating using radical honesty I told you about a six-hour conversation It was so easy to ask really tough questions. It was so fucking easy But jonathan that must have sounded like an interview No, I was interrogating her I'm kidding Folks it is so easy to have conversation Talking about real shit If you need some help with that check out the link below to a discovery call with me See if working with the coach is right for you one of the exercise I do with my clients is called radical honesty It's learning how to come up with questions based on your personality Anyway power of G. I hope that helped. Thank you so much Uh jane spitfire says and I quote Does a checklist help of things you want from your man and then try to find them face to face online So, okay, so here's my checklist here. I'll give you my checklist Where is it? Uh Oh, I left it down there So the problem with my checklist Shit, it's downstairs. I wish I had it right now None of it you'll find out on a first date most well, let me reframe that most of it You won't be able to find out on a first date. Okay The challenge with a checklist is if it's things about like, okay Financial stability you could find that out before a date You could get a sense of someone's financial stability and that's critically important for those of us in midlife You could get a sense of their politics and their religion before you meet someone that's something easy to do Where else uh, you could ask value-based questions. You could get some of those But how a person treats you is not something You can find out through a checklist. You see the most important thing is how do they treat you? That's something you can't find on the checklist Okay. All right. Anyway, those are just my quick thoughts Uh, Barbara is in the house Would you mention the no sex policy till ready to go all in during the first phone call? Um No, you know what you okay? Here's the thing you do Don't teleguy your rules Just embody your rules And you just you know just say hey Before I get and I wouldn't say this on a first phone call or a first date But at the point two people become amorous you can say hey look before I become physically Someone write this down. I'll say it slowly Before I become physically intimate with somebody Before I become physically intimate with somebody I want you to know something about the way I operate I want you to know something about the way I operate Okay I only am physically intimate with someone where we're both monogamous with one another and we're exclusive with one another I'm a where I only have become physically intimate with when we're monogamous one another and we're exclusive with on another And more importantly we've built trust together through a variety of different activities spending time together. You don't need to give a timeline. Does everyone get that? It's as simple. This is the way I operate. Then you go, how do you operate? Oh, I like to fuck on the first date. Okay. Well, it's not how I operate. Well, I like to fuck on the third day. Well, it's not how I operate. I need to feel safe with you. And if you're not willing to invest that with me, then, then I'm not willing to go any further. Oh, and by the way, I have this dating coach that told me about these things called the dating vows. Okay. By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my dating vows. Okay. Barbara, before I'm physically intimate with you, here's the vow we need to recite to one another before your penis gets to go inside my vagina. We agree to explore the process of getting to know one another with the intent to declare something serious within three to six months. We agree to be monogamous sexually while we're having regular sex together. We agree to not actively seek to meet and date others while we're in the dating process, including taking down our dating profiles. We agree to speak up if this isn't working for us versus ghosting, pulling back or disappearing. We agree to invest regular time together in the process to get to know one another. Now, big chunk of guys probably could be up to 90% of men will just go, I don't have to do that. There are so many women who have sex with me on the first date. But Barbara, you are setting yourself apart and a guy with class has no problem. A gentleman has no problem agreeing with this. If he sees your value, if he feels aligned with you. Okay. Elizabeth's in the house. Okay. Is it okay to say how do you view us because I have to be vulnerable to get to the truth? How do you view us because I have to be vulnerable to get to the truth? I don't get that question. Tasha, dresser is in the house. I have difficulty revealing to someone about my learning disability and list without being misunderstood for it, for it. And the person jumping to conclusions, any suggestions. So, well, I would suspect that your list would show up during a telephone call. And I believe the first phone call is the first date. So I suspect you probably, I'm just speculating here, you spend a lot of time emailing and texting someone to build a sensor rapport. I suspect. Okay. But which I can understand why you would want to do that. But the reality is, is your truth is going to be there at some point. So you can just be, you know, I don't know if when it feels right, but I would say you probably need to explain it before you meet someone. I would suspect I don't know what other learning disability, what other learning disability you have. If it's material to the rule, okay, so here's my rule of thumb transparency. If it's material to the relationship, be upfront about it. Okay. Just remember that there has to be some amazing chemistry for the two of you to, for him to go, you know what, I could give a shit about the list kind of thing. There has to be that first date off the charts kind of fireworks happen most likely. And when it's not, it's kind of a challenge. I mean, I don't know how to, I don't know how to best help you here. I wish I had a better answer for you. My job is to teach you how to vet people. I'm not necessarily the best at techniques. That's just not my skill set. Okay. But I hope I gave you some insight. I hope I got provide you some value, Tasha. You know, the other thing is to date people who you are in your daily life. They already know who you are and already like you for who you are. That's the challenge when we're meeting total strangers that they don't know who you are and they don't like you yet. That's the challenge. So that's how we change that challenge. Elizabeth says so the penis doesn't get into the vagina, but tongue kissing is innocent. I didn't say that. I think tongue kissing could be more intimate. Mary Ann Senate question if they're bad kisser, would that be a deal breaker? That's a personal question. Oh my God, I once had this terrible kisser. Our first kiss was the first time we made out it was horrific. It was just bad. I really thought I was in high school or something. And you know what happened? We met up again. But the sex was great. And then the kissing got great. I don't know how to answer that. You got to answer that for yourself. By the way, if you by the way, we need I think we're like $10 away from getting to our goal of $50 tonight. We need some love. Hit that little dollar sign. Donate to the Connor Asley scholarship fund. Holly says I love kissing and I miss it. I get it. I miss it too. I'm just got that song in my head. I bet I got it. By the way, go look it up later after this video. It's called sunroof. S Williams is in the house dated someone. Is it Serena Williams? I don't think so. She's married. I dated someone last year for a few months was a great then he flaked and decided got distance and he wanted to be friends like text friends. After a month I dropped him. No more contact. Was I wrong? Here's my rule of thumb, folks. If you met the love of your life tomorrow is this person still going to be in your life? That's my rule of thumb. If I met the love of my life tomorrow will every past person I still have a connection with still be in my life on some way shape or form and it just depends on what that looks like. That's the way I answer that question. It's not about right or wrong. Diane just put permacon genius questions from him. You want this kind of you want this kind of man. I can't remember the context. He said that by the way, Matt messaged me for New Year's and I messaged him back. Great guy. Barbara says thank you. I'm betting a guy in 10 minutes. So I'll stop mentioning this on those first phone calls. Yeah, that's not a good time to do it. You just do it when it gets when the penis starts getting closer to the vagina. That's the time to establish your rules of engagement. Okay, you don't need to say it ahead of time because that's a turn off. Abigail says can the 100 hours being reinstated with someone you've been intimate with in the past the sex has clouded the view of what the relationship is. So for everyone she's talking about, I've always said it takes about 100 hours of face to face time to build the first layer of trust. I'm by the way, if you're not familiar with Jay Shetty, he wrote a book, The Eight Rules of Love or the Eight Ways to Love or something like that. But I was watching a podcast of his. And he was talking about he was talking about it takes about 40 hours of face to face time to build just to begin a friendship to begin a friendship. And he says it takes about 200 hours to build a strong friendship 200 hours of face to face time to build a strong friendship. Can it be reinstated? You know, it's hard when that barn is left the when the horse is left the barn. But yeah, if you're conscious, if you're both conscious at it, yeah, it can be reinstated. Elizabeth says, what is the best way to ask someone what they want between the two of you? I'm Okay, I'm curious. How do you envision our relationship? What do you envision our relationship? What is our relationship? And how do you envision it? What is our relationship? And how do you envision it? What is our relationship? How do you envision it? That might be a good start. Lindsey, the first phone question, first phone call, gay first date, if it doesn't go well, do you cut it off politely? You know, see, this is the tricky part, folks, most of you don't really know how to listen to your intuition. Your intuition is screaming at you. When a first phone call doesn't go well, it's a sign, probably misalignment. But Jonathan, you just never know, you see, we've been indoctrinating folks, the most dangerous, you just never know the most dangerous four letter word, four letter sentence, four, four word sentence, you just never know the most dangerous thing on the planet. Because what it does is you, you, you go out, you find out it's miserable, and then you got reinforced. You don't need to figure it out, you need to learn how to trust your intuition. That's my invitation anyway. This is the problem with dating is this is why I've spoken to women who have gone hundreds and hundreds of first dates, because you just never know, they're not listening to their intuition, they're not listening to their gut, they're not operating with intentionality, they're not operating with their they're operating so ambivalent, so naive, so ambiguous. And what's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results? Hey, folks, I know there's a lot more questions that come in. Look, I hope you found value in this video. I love sharing my perspective. I hope I'm making a difference in your life. If I am, I would love you to donate to the Conor Asley Scholarship Fund, because we'd like to give some money away. And certainly we use it as scholarships as well. Folks, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for following my channel. As I've mentioned before, I'm going to start shooting videos for men. Everything I've shared tonight is both for men and for women. I hope I'm making a difference to everybody. I hope 2024 is your year of attracting amazing partnership love in your life. I invite that in for myself. I invite that all for you. God universe spirit. I invite in for myself and everyone who follows me to experience a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship where they have amazing chemistry when they meet and the energetic connection is off the charts. And they can communicate consciously, effortlessly, free flowing and the banter can go on for hours and hours at a time. And the ability to blend lives is effortless to join in each other's lives and their the capacity to share the same values is aligned there as well. And that we and everybody can build the deep roots of trust through social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal or professional life that leads to a relationship where we either move in together or get married on a legal or spiritual level. God universe spirit. I invite that in for everybody. Can I get an amen? Can I get an amen? Elizabeth says great live. Thank you. Beach lover says will you let us know the links? I will absolutely do that. I'm just writing the content now for those videos. Let's see what else. Amen. Amen. Amen. Hey, I love the little Turkish, the evil eye there. I say Turkish evil eye, because my heritage is Turkish. I like that little symbol, the evil eye. All right, we're gonna wrap up this video as we always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic shot at the merit of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I want to thank Barbara and Foxy lady and MJ and come on Ellen and MJ and Diane and power of chi and Cass and Oz woman and sunny days and vocalist and Elizabeth and beach lover and Margaret and Emily and I mentioned Billy Lynn. Leafs was in the house earlier. Jay not Diane everybody. Oh, Hazel chicken. Everybody big hugs. Thanks so much. Wishing you a fab evening. Bye now.