 J-E-L-L-O The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program within Old Chicago from the picture of the same name. Probably every woman listening to this program has heard her family say, can't we have something different for dinner tonight? Well, you can always have something different when you keep a supply of Jell-O on your pantry shelf. Now, Jell-O is the one dessert that families don't get tired of because there are so many flavors to choose from and so many tempting ways to serve them. One look at Jell-O, one taste of that delicious, extra-rich fruit flavor tells you that here's us well-treats. It has a fresh, real fruit goodness that makes every Jell-O dessert a trial. And now that summer's almost here, you'll be using it a lot for salads, too, combined with fruits or crisp, fresh vegetables. There are recipe suggestions on every package, but be sure to get genuine Jell-O and don't accept any substitutes for the real thing. Ask your grocer tomorrow for the one and only Jell-O. Cargo played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, put on your carpet slippers, move your chairs up to the fireplace and throw the radio on the fire because here comes Jack Benny. Hello again. This is Jack Benny coming to you through a lot of smoke. And Don, I must admit that was a very funny introduction, but I guess I'm just not in the mood for it. And incidentally, if I happen to be a little bit irritable and nervous tonight, you'll have to excuse me. Why? What's the matter with you, Jack? Well, Don, I've been on a very strict diet for about a week now and it's kind of getting on my nerves. Oh, a diet? Well, now, that's something new for you, isn't it? Yes, since I've been doing well. You see, Don, I'm starting my new picture next week and Paramount insists that I take off some weight. Oh, I see. Well, just what are you allowed to eat, Jack? Well, for breakfast, I have orange juice and for lunch and dinner, I have nothing but green salads. I've eaten so much lettuce lately, rabbits follow me down the street. And all because I have to make a movie. Well, it is pretty tough. I'll say it is, but, Don, I told Paramount that I'd stick to the diet for the first part of the picture. But when I get to the love scenes, I gotta have raw meat. No, Don, I'll never go through this again. Leave me. Say, Jack. What is it, Mary? I had an uncle that was on a diet of nothing but soup and he lost 23 pounds in one week. Nothing but soup? Say, he must have had a lot of willpower. Yeah, besides that, my aunt hit his teeth. Oh, hit his teeth? Well, no wonder. But you know, Jack, she never should have hit him in the fridge there. Why not? After he got him back, they chattered for a month. Well, never mind your uncle. My diet is really doing me some good. Can't you notice any difference in me, Mary? Well, your hair is much thinner. That's not what I meant. Anyway, my hair isn't thin. It's just the way I got it parted. You should have a part that big in your new picture. Don't worry about me. I'm only the leading man, that's all. Oh, by the way, Jack, I understand they're going to make this picture of yours in Technicolor. Is that right? No, Don. They're not. I had tests made in Technicolor, but it didn't work out very well. Why? What happened? Well, due to a peculiar pigment in my skin, I photographed plaid. With a face like that, I'd have to get Annie Laurie for my leading lady. Well, who is going to be your leading lady, Jack? Has anyone been selected yet? Yes, Don. It's Joan Bennett. We had our first rehearsal yesterday, and I want to tell you she is beautiful. Yeah, I was so excited working with her. Oh, you were? Yeah, Mary was there. I couldn't remember a line, could I, Mary? No, and she couldn't remember your name. She could, too. She only called me Hey You once. Now, believe me, as soon as I saw Joan Bennett, I didn't mind going on this diet. She's worth it. Oh, hello, Phil. Hello, plaid face. All right, Phil. Now, don't you start in. I got other troubles. I know, Jack. I heard you talking about your diet, and I wouldn't go through that for all the pictures in the world. No, you wouldn't, eh? No, sir. You know what I just had for dinner? What? My mother fixed me a heap of Southern fried chicken with hot biscuits and gravy, and the fluffiest mashed potatoes I ever tasted. Yeah? And then I had corn on the cob with melted butter just oozing out of it. Yeah? Oh, boy. Stop drooling, Jack. I'm not drooling. Tell them what we had for dessert, Phil. Oh, were you there, Don? Yes, sir, and Phil's mother prepared a bowl of jello that was a production. A production? Yes, sir. She had raspberry jello on the bottom, and then a layer of sliced bananas, and on top of that, a combination of cherry, lemon, and lime that was the most beautiful sight you ever saw. Well, I must admit that was a marvelous meal, but the way you guys eat is disgraceful. See, when I could eat all I wanted, I never made a pig of myself. Not much. Well, I didn't. Go on. I saw you in a cafeteria one day with a caddy. Well, I had a club steak. Now, let's not mention food anymore. There must be something else we can talk about. Hello, Kenny. That's my line. Hello, Kenny. Hello. Now, look, Kenny, you just got here, so before you say anything, I want to warn you about something. What is it, Jack? Well, now, don't do anything silly tonight to upset me because I'm not feeling well. I'm very nervous and irritable and jumpy and jittery. Gee, you ought to go on a diet. Kenny, that's the whole trouble I am on a diet. You are? Yes. Wouldn't I make a lousy doctor? Kenny, I wish that next Sunday you'd just come in singing. Now, if you want to make me feel good and forget my diet, go ahead and sing your song. Okay. Here, hold my chocolate bar. Oh, all right. What's the use? I'm not going to hold out any longer. Yum, yum. Sing, Kenny. Oh, boy, this is good. The stars are glowing in the jungle. The waves are breaking on the shore. Baker singing Love Light in the Starlight from the picture Jungle Love. And, Kenny, I don't have to tell you that it was very good. I'll say you don't. I heard it. Now, Kenny, that sounded very hammy and also in very poor taste. Gee, you never see me pat myself on the back. You can't. You got rheumatism. I have not. I might have a little shooting pain once in a while, but that's all. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as we announced last week tonight for our feature attraction, the Benny Chautauqua players will present their version of Mark Twain's Great Novel of American Youth recently brought to the screen by David O. Selznick, none other than that immortal classic, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Thank you and go away. Now, in our production, I will, of course, enact the title role. That is, I will be Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer? Of course. That lovable, freckle-faced, barefoot little boy. No kidding, Mary. Can't you just picture me as Tom Sawyer? Yes, if George Arlis is huckleberry thin. Now, that's silly. Imagine George Arlis running around in his bare feet. Gee, that would be some scandal. No doubt. But no kidding, fellas. I love to play this part because, well, when I was a kid, I was just like Tom Sawyer. I used to play hooky from school and go swimming in the old swimming hole. Ah, those were the days. Of course, the nights were kind of dull. Well, I'll bet none of you fellas have the real childhood memories that I have. I don't know about that, Jack. I had a lot of fun when I was a kid. Oh, go on, Phil. You weren't a real outdoor country boy like I was. I bet you were teacher's pet. I would if she would. That's now what I mean. I'm talking about the kind of kids that Mark Twain wrote about. And that was me. I was a real Tom Sawyer. I had rosy cheeks, big blue eyes, and long curls, way down to my shoulders. You weren't Tom Sawyer. You were Shirley Temple. Well, I was talented, if that's what you mean. Anyway, there's no use getting sentimental around this bunch. Now, wait a minute, Jack. I love all this reminiscing. Well, I can remember how limber I was when I was a kid. You know, in those days, I'd bend over and touch the floor with my hands. Well, you can do that now, can't you, Don? Yes, but I can't get up. Oh, then I wouldn't reminisce if I were you. But it is fun, though, isn't it? You know, Jack, I'm not as old as you fellas, but I've got my memories, too. You have, Kenny? Yeah. See, I can remember when I smoked my first cigarette. Your first cigarette? When was that, Kenny? Last night. Boy, am I sick. Oh, well, it serves you right. So a cigarette made you sick, eh? I guess I shouldn't have swallowed it when my mother came in the room. No, that was the wrong move. But you know, fellas, in all this talk, we've overlooked the biggest thrill of all, and it came to every one of us. What's that, Jack? Will you ever forget the day when we got our first pair of long pants? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I pass. Mary. Well, that's enough chatter about our childhood days. Now, getting back to our play, I will be Tom Sawyer, and Phil, you're going to be Sid Sawyer, my half-brother. I ain't gonna be no fraction. You're gonna be what I say, and if you remember the picture, Phil, you're a little tattletale and a sissy. I object. Now, don't spoil the plot. Now, Mary, you play the part of Becky Thatcher, my little sweetheart. Kenny, you'll be Skinny Baker. And Don, let's see, what do we call you? What do they call you when you were a kid, Don? Puttin' Head. That's it. Puttin' Head Wilson. Well, we're all set now, except for one of the most important characters in our play. Who can we get to be Huckleberry Finn? Hiya, Buck! Why, Andy Devine, you couldn't have come in at a better time. No fooling. You're just the type we need for Huckleberry Finn. Now, wait a minute, Buck. Is that a dignified part? Why? Well, I gotta be careful now. You see, I was just elected mayor of Van Nuys. Oh, that's right. You are the mayor. I read about it in the papers. Congratulations, Andy. Yes, sir. Have a look, folks. He really is mayor of Van Nuys. And you know, Andy, that's quite an honor, huh? Yeah. Ma says it's just a question of time. Now, I'm in the White House. I wouldn't be a bit surprised. My friends... Now, wait a minute, Andy. Wait a minute. Don't rush things. And say, now that... Now that you're mayor of Van Nuys, I suppose you're going to make your poor chief of police. No, I'll be satisfied if I can just get him out of jail. Well, you're the boss now. Say, Andy, I bet there was a lot of excitement around the old farm. Wasn't there? I'll say there was. You know that hen I got that ain't laid an egg in over four years? Yeah. Well, when the news of my election came in, she hit the jackpot. The jackpot? Good heavens. How many eggs did she lay? I don't know, Buck. She ain't stopped yet. All right, Andy, we'll settle down now and get ready for our play. We're going to do it right after Phil's number. Okay, Buck. And while you're at it, wipe that lipstick off your face. Where'd you get it? Well, you know us politicians, Buck. We've got to kiss a few babies. That's right. That's right. Yes, sir. Play, Phil. We sure got a high-class program today. We are going to present it in two installments. Tonight we will offer chapter one in the Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Take it, Phil. And now come with us to the sleepy little hamlet of St. Petersburg, Missouri. A lazy, peaceful river town nestled on the banks of the mighty Mississippi. It is the bright spring morning many years ago. The sun is up, Aunt Polly is up, everybody's up, and even eggs are 80 cents a dozen. As the curtain rises, we are in the home of Aunt Polly just before breakfast. Curtain. Music. Enough to give a body connection. I'm a good boy, ain't I, Aunt Polly? You're always the neatest. Got pretty hair, too. Oh, boy, I'm sorry. Good morning, Aunt Polly. You certainly got dressed that way. Good morning, Brother Tom. Good morning, Brother Rat. You put lard on those steps, and I ought to slug you. You let me alone now. You big baby. Did you wash your hands? Yes, ma'am, I washed them. Then take off your gloves and sit down. Some gloves, they got fingernails on them. Oh, shut up, you little squealer. I'll take a poke at you. You're lucky Aunt Polly is here, and you're lucky this is a play. Gee, I'm hungry. What have we got for breakfast, Aunt Polly? I mean, what have we got for breakfast, Aunt Polly? Here's your kidney. Here's some hot cakes with sausages, coffee, and cinnamon buns. Thanks, Aunt Polly. And, Tom, here's some orange juice for you. Darn my diet. I'm starved, too. Now eat quickly, children, or you'll be late for school. Eat quickly. I'm going to steal a hot cake from you, Sidney. You're doing hotel paramount. Why, you little... Now, children, stop fighting. Please pass me the crackers. What was that, Aunt Polly? Pass me the crackers. What? Polly wants a cracker. I thought it was funny. There's the first bell. Hurry, children, or you'll be late for school. I don't care if I am. Ouch again. Gee, will. Now get along to school. Tom, where are your books? In my pants. I thought you were going to hit me there. Well, I'm going. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye, Sidney dear. Goodbye Aunt Polly. Goodbye Aunt Polly. Goodbye Aunt Polly. Gee, but you're cute. I ought to sock you. Now, don't you hit me, Tom. So, y'all scream. Then you'll be late. Gee, I hate school. I wish I didn't have to go. You never go anyway. You and that huckleberry fin are always playing hooky. Well, don't let me catch you snitching. I'll give you a good kick in the shins. Oh, look who's coming down the street on his bicycle. Foot and head. Hey, foot and head, your bicycle tires are flat. Me too. Oh, you always want what I want. I ought to give you a good punch in the nose, you little copy cat. I'm getting sick of this. Take off your coat. Quiet. Oh, hello, Mrs. Newton. Oh, good morning, my little men. Little men, yes. Good morning, Mrs. Newton. Well, Thomas, I can see by the look on your face that you're on your way to school. Put a bit of toothache, you know, you old battle axe. Well... Oh, Tom, you ought to be ashamed of yourself talking that way to Mrs. Newton. She'll be awfully mad. Well, she finds out I set fire to her bustle. Hi, it's Kenny. Hi, you fellows. You coming along to school? I don't have to go to school. I got the measles. The measles? Oh, yeah. Look at those red spots all over your face. Can I touch them? You can eat them too. They're ketchup. I cannot. It's fattening. I'm gone. I wish I had the measles. I never have any luck. Hey, Tom! Tom! Oh, that's that bad boy. Huckleberry fin. Hi, uh, Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Hi, it's me, Finn. Hi, you hawk. Where are you going? Down to the swimming hole. You want to come along? Just so. That's right. We never swim formal. See you after school, hawk. We'll go fishing. Fishin' eh. I'm gonna tell Aunt Polly. You do, and I'll tie nuts in your curls. Let me tell you another thing, Sid Sawyer. Hey, Tom, here comes your girl, Becky Thatcher. Oh, yeah. Gee. She's pretty. We should wash my neck. Tommy loves Becky. Now, get away from me, you little pester, I'll give it to you. Oh, it falls. Oh, Becky, can I walk to school with you? Yes, Tommy, you can. Gee, thanks. But I shouldn't even talk to you, Tom Sawyer. You promised to take me to the medicine show last night. You didn't do it. Well, I'll take you tonight. It's even better. You know who's playing there? Who? Jack Benny and his violin. You want to hear them? Yeah, let's get some ripe tomatoes and golf. Oh, that'll be fun. Say, Becky. Why? Give me a kiss, will you? No, I won't. Ah, come on. It ain't nothing. I will not, Tom Sawyer. Ah, come on. Give me a kiss. It ain't nothing. Oh. Well, how was that? You were right. It ain't nothing. Gee, I'm only nine years old. And now we're engaged. Isn't it great, Becky? Gee, I'm all excited. Yeah, look at your toupee jumping up and down. Oh, yes. I've been looking for that frog all day. Be quiet, Sherman. Well, anyway, Becky, you kissed me, so we're engaged to be married. But, Tommy, I can't marry you. You're so poor. Don't worry. I'm going to get a job in the movies, and I'll have a lot of money when I grow up. Oh, yeah? I know another kid who fought that. It won't happen to me. Say, who's that boy coming down the street? I never saw him before. Oh, I know him. He just moved into town. Who is he? His name is Freddie Allen. Freddie Allen, eh? I don't like him even now. Oh, I think he's awfully cute. Isn't he handsome? Handsome. He's got a face like a mud turtle. And I'm going over there and talk to him. Now, don't you start anything, Tom Sawyer. Just leave him to me. Hey, you. Is your name Freddie Allen? Well, sir, if my ears were at my christening, and I think they were, that's my name. Oh, trying to be smart, eh? Look at you standing there with that big water gum in your mouth. I ought to take a poke at you. You'd better not. This gum happens to be too indebted. I don't care if it is. You want a fight? No, it's not nice to fight. Oh, it's not, eh? Come on, knock this chip off my shoulder. Now, I told you I don't want any trouble. Well, if you don't do it, I'll give you a sock in the nose anyway. You leave me alone now, or I'll tell your Aunt Polly. Oh, so you're a squealer as well as a coward, eh? Connie, Connie, leave him alone. Take off your coat, you little frady cat. I'm going to let you have it. You leave me alone now. I didn't do anything to you. Oh, no. I heard what you said last Wednesday night. Take that. And that. And that. Now you big bully, Aunt Polly. Look at him run down the street. That was Alan as a kid, folks, and he hasn't changed a bit. This will be continued next Sunday night. Will Tom Sawyer marry Becky? Will Freddie Allen stop crying? Will Mark Twain ever forgive us? Tune in next Sunday night and find out. Play Phil. If you want to taste the grandest chocolate ice cream you ever dipped a spoon into, ice cream with a wonderful homemade richness, here's the way to do it. Make it with jello freezing mix, and believe me, you have something to smack your lips over. For jello freezing mix gives you chocolate ice cream that's smooth, rich, and real chocolatey. Well, that chocolate flavor is made by Walter Baker and company, and they've been making fine chocolate for 150 years. And it's not only swell ice cream, but it's so easy to make that anybody can make it. Just open a can of jello freezing mix, add milk and some whipped cream, and pour into the freezing tray of your refrigerator. Stir only once while it's freezing, and take out six servings of delicious homemade ice cream. Chocolate will be one of your favorites, but you'll like all six luscious flavors. Maple walnut, real vanilla, and fruit flavors that are real fruits and their own sweetened juices. Strawberry, orange pineapple, and 2D fruity. So smooth, so rich, you'll always want more. So easy to make, you can always have more. Ask your grocer for jello freezing mix and have chocolate ice cream for dessert tomorrow. Remember the name, jello freezing mix. We're a little late, so good night, folks.