 Hi, she was seven and back. So I Wanted to discuss You know a lot of people have relationship problems I have women and men who come to me for advice for their relationship problems and Sometimes these problems aren't relationship problems. They are personal issues with themselves And if they were just to fix these issues, they would not be having relationship problems, okay for example Someone might be cheating on a person that they're dating you know, they might not even live with this person, but they're just dating and they're being cheated on and you know, let's just for example the man is being cheated on by the woman and And you know, they don't live together and he's upset because she's seeing other guys and he's upset because He just doesn't understand Well, perhaps the problem is him because if a woman is happy in a relationship She's not going to be exploring other options. She's gonna be there for you She's gonna be all in you're not gonna be able to get rid of her Okay, she's gonna be calling you texting you always wanting to be you know doing stuff with you she's not going to be making excuses line and Trying to go cheat on you with someone else if she really wants to be with you This means the problem is with you. There's something wrong Yeah, I hate when this camera moves. Hold on. There's something wrong with you As to why things are happening to you. Okay, you have to ask yourself. What is it about me? That's causing her to go look for something somewhere else What don't I provide? What can't I do for her that someone else can't you know? There's an area that you're probably lacking in and you just don't know and Women are too nice some most of the time to tell you exactly what you're missing You know, they don't want to seem shallow. They don't want to seem rude They don't want to seem like they're unappreciative. So what they're going to do Is lead you on make you feel okay, but really they're still looking, okay? You're not they're not going to settle with you because they're still looking a Lot the same thing with men, you know, if you're with a woman and you're Seeing another woman There's something in the woman that you're currently seeing that is missing. Okay, something that you want a quality in this person that you Don't see that you want. Okay, so a lot of these women will say well How can I keep my man? How can I do this? How can I that I always say watch what he looks at watch what he likes? You know pay attention to what he's looking at and if you're not that and if you're the opposite or something else He obviously likes that as well. So you're gonna have to incorporate this into who you are or You know incorporate this into one of your looks or you know, whatever Because he will be you know, his attention will be drawn elsewhere just like a woman I have a lot of guys come to me about women problems and I always it's always the same thing with women. We know women are People who enjoy comfort and nice things, right? That's just obvious There's gonna be some that say oh, I'll love you no matter what but if someone else better comes along that you know Their mind could change let's just say that So a lot of times these guys are like, well, what is it about me that she can't you know What why can't she be with me? Why can't she be faithful? Why is she always playing games? Obviously, she's not Looking to settle with you because you don't have everything she wants and a partner So you need to be you need to be honest and ask her look What do I have to do? to get you To be honest and faithful to me and only me What do you need me to do and she's probably gonna say well, you know I wish you had this and I wish you could do that and I wish this and that you know Then I could take you more seriously because a lot of times the women won't break up with a guy Because he lacks something because that's just rude and it's materialistic and it's superficial And they don't want to look like the bad guy So they will string you along a long time Before the truth comes out in the end like when you finally catch her cheating when you're upset with her Because she betrayed you she's gonna say well, you know what I can't I couldn't take you seriously You weren't doing this. This isn't that you're not marriage material. Why would I you know? Waste my time and When potential people that I do see qualities in that I like are interested in me, you know I'm not off the market yet because You haven't taken me off the market You don't have the means to take me off the market a lot of women will not say this but that's what they'll mean You you'll have to read between the lines They won't tell you the truth because they don't want to be seen as the bad guy. Okay, I don't care I will be seen as the bad guy because life is too short to waste time and When I was younger I had a relationship like that I Was seeing this guy like in my early Shoot might even been in my late teens like after I graduated high school basically I was about 18 19 I was seeing this guy. He was nice. He was sweet You know, he was in a band He played drums He was an exotic obey at y'all And He was cool. He was fun to hang out with we did karaoke together Like we were just like best friends, right? And you know, we started having a relationship. It was nice But after that novelty wore off, you know I looked and I there was no way I could be with someone like this because plus he was older than me So he should have had certain things at that time and He just didn't and he had a mess of a life You know once that phase wears off when you're all you know in love and stuff and Dating and that phase wears off and you see this person for who they really are and what they can offer you in life You're like, okay We have fun, but I'm not gonna stop dating other people But I'm just not I'm just not gonna tell you because if I don't find anybody better I still want to be with you because I like you but if I do find somebody better I'm just going to have to leave. Okay, whatever. So that's what happened and he knew it like he could tell he was like I know you're seeing someone else You can just be honest with me and you're always gone. You don't want to go out with me no more. You're always busy And I'm like, well, you know to be honest you're right I've been seeing somebody else and he's like, well, you could have told me I kind of figured that that's why I'm breaking up with you I'm like, okay, you know, that's like Better you than me. I don't want to be the bad guy. So We broke up and then I was free, you know dating other people and you know That's that's how women are until you know, when I was young, I was trying to be sweet and nice, you know But when you get older, you just like dang, I don't have time anymore You know, I'm just gonna say what's on my mind when tell you the truth either you get it or you don't Okay, this is the difference between young women and older women. Okay, I'm considered older because I'm past 30. Okay, so I guess I'm older So older women will just put it all out on the line. They don't have time to waste either you in or you out. Okay They will tell you why they won't date you if you're interested in them and they just won't give you the time of day They'll just say look, I can't date you you're this this this this and that. Okay. I'm sorry. You're not Datable. Okay. They will just tell you straight up because they don't have time to waste. It's like I'm not trying to be the nice person anymore. I'm Just gonna tell you exactly what you need to hear if you don't like it or we'll go back. Okay A lot of people's problem is not The other person in the relationship is themselves If you're dating someone and you don't uh, have what it takes to keep them Then you know, maybe you shouldn't be dating because I have this example. Okay. So someone is dating this man, right? Um He doesn't have a car you know and so she has a car and She can basically go and come as she pleases, you know to see him whatever She can actually go out and date other people or get picked up by other people who do have cars Now this person is like, okay. Well, you know I like I love my boyfriend But he just he's not doing enough for me. You know, there's all these other men out here who are offering me nice things They have nice cars. They want to take me out. They're, you know Buying me gifts They take me to nice dinners But the guy that i'm with can't do any of that You know, and I don't want to hurt him I don't want to hurt his feelings because he's just so nice and sweet And I just don't want to hurt him because You know, I don't want to be seen as a gold digger or someone who's materialistic But I enjoy those things and I think I deserve them So I'm just going to have both And so women will have both because they're too nice to hurt The boyfriend who can't get it together, but eventually They're going to have to choose and you know, the choice is going to be okay Um, and sometimes the boyfriend will get upset and he'll understand and he'll already know So he'll try to like trap the lady by you know, getting her pregnant and or you know Trap her, you know with saying oh I love you. I want to marry you. They'll try to Buster up enough money to buy a little ring to to get engaged And the woman what might take it the ring, but they're still going to be cheating Okay, the woman might get pregnant but that doesn't guarantee that she's going to stay with you you know, so A lot of times we have to look at ourselves first and say are we ready to date? Are we datable? You know, are we ready to have a life partner if the person that we're dating Is the one are we prepared? You know men and women. Okay a lot of women will say well, I don't know if I'm ready to settle down I'm just you know exploring myself just getting out having fun. I'm young. I just want to see what's out there I'm not ready to settle into a relationship I'm not ready to have a committed relationship with someone and you know Do you need to understand that you need to tell people I'm not ready to settle down, you know, we can date we can have fun, but I'm not ready for a relationship people need to be honest You know because society makes these rules that say oh if you date someone you have to be committed and have a boyfriend and say You know, I love you and you know not cheat But that's not what people do Okay, they'll go by what society says on the outside But on the inside and on you know in the dark, they're doing what they really want to do anyway So if you're not ready to fully commit inside and out Don't be in a relationship, you know It's not really worth it. I would rather be happy free and single Then in a relationship where I have to lie hide feel bad all the time, uh, you know Worry about this this and that I would rather be single because when you're ready to settle down with somebody You're gonna give all the other stuff up. Okay, you're gonna be like, look, I've been there. I've done that now it's time to settle down Now I can take the relationship seriously, but if you've hurt a bunch of people along the way and By lying and doing all these things to them Um for the sake of being in a relationship, but not being committed All those bad intentions and bad feelings and bad energy That you know resulted from those relationships are gonna follow you You know they're gonna be like, you know Why am I having all this bad luck? How come I can't find a man? How come I can't find a good woman because all that crap you did in the past And I'm not calling this karma. This is not karma. This is bad intentions. This is people wishing you bad putting out bad vibes And bad luck to you wishing stuff bad happens to you. Oh, I hate her. I hate what she did to me I hope she never finds love, you know, and if y'all believe in the law of attraction or manifestation Then y'all understand what I'm saying so if you leave a string or a trail of broken hearts and You know failed relationships and bad relationships and betrayal behind you Expect that bad energy to keep following you. Okay That's why I say it's best to be honest. They can't be mad if you're honest They can't be mad if you say hey look baby We tried I don't want to cheat on you, but you just don't have what I want, you know I'm being honest with you because I don't want to waste your time. I'm so sorry. I love you with all my heart I wish that things could be different, but it's just it's not gonna work. Okay. Now we can be friends You can call me we you know make it a peaceful breakup. Don't get caught cheating because You really didn't want this type of person in in the first place, you know If you accept the person you have to accept all of them, you know All of them all their flaws. So Do not leave a trail behind you and wonder why nothing is working out for you in the future Because these people are still wishing bad upon you. They're like, oh, I hate her. What does she do to me? And and you know that anger And all those frustrations will come out onto the next relationship And now your relationship is ruined because of the last person you dealt with same for women You treat the new man Like the old man You know the your old boyfriend because of what he did and Now all that negative energy is put on this new person and now your relationship is infected with negative energy Okay, so it's gonna it's gonna fail. Okay You can't You gotta stop lying You gotta stop dealing with people who you really don't want. Okay. A lot of people do this for convenience They'll deal with a man for this and man will deal with the woman for that and they'll just get Nothing in the end. Okay, so i'ma leave it at that. I'll see y'all later and Subscribe if you're new and comment about what you think about this subject