 Craft presents the Great Gilderslave! Hee hee hee! A cheese company who also bring you big cross. Every Thursday night present each week at this time Harold Terry is the Great Gilderslave, written by Leonard L. Leavenson. We'll hear from the Great Gilderslave in just a moment. But first let's consider that great American dish macaroni and cheese. Are your folks like it with the macaroni fluffy, light, and the cheese goodness all through and through? Well I can tell you how to make it just that way. Cook it in only seven minutes. Get a thrifty box at the product called Craft Dinner. In the package you'll find a special quick cooking macaroni. Also there's an envelope of craft grated that puts cheese goodness on every tender morsel. All in all you do just seven minutes cooking and get a swell thrifty main dish. Now particularly when you're watching the food bills, now when you're especially busy, craft dinner is a big help. You'd better get several packages of craft dinner and be ready to make delicious macaroni and cheese whenever you're in a hurry. And once again let's visit our friend the Great Gilderslave who's not a happy man today. No indeed this is one of his bad days. Right now he's telling his niece and nephew Marjorie and Leroy and Birdie they're cook all about it. Yes and there I was peacefully driving along when suddenly I heard a bang and then a bumpity bumpity bump. At first I hoped it was just the rear end falling out but no such luck it was a tire. Well Jim from work what about the spare? Leroy that was the spare. Can't you get a new tube anywhere? No my dear they can't sell me one. But I thought when you went to buy a new tube you could have it just as long as you brought your old one in. Birdie that's for toothpaste not rubber. Oh excuse me I got my gum mixed up. Now mind me Leroy I'll stand to hook her. Judge Hooker what does that sawed off Solomon want? Hello Gilder. Hello kid. Oh Judge. Say Gilderslave I saw you down on Center Street this afternoon with that flat tire and she certainly looked bad. How dare you talk about Rosita Callahan. You mean the flat tire on my car yeah. Yeah it looks like I'll have to learn to drive on three wheels judge. Oh no you won't. Here take this. See Uncle what's in the package. Huh? Well it feels like oh I'm afraid to hope. By George it's a girdle. Oh no it's an inner tube oh judgey what you. Hey keep him off me. Stop trying to kiss me Gildy. Oh I'm so happy I could dance. But he's a jolly good fellow. He's good and he's ripe and he's mellow. He's kind underneath his big bellow. And as hard as his big as his head. Wahoo. I'm now struck Morton. Control yourself. Yes Uncle quit wearing that inner tube around your neck. Oh let him. It matches the one around his middle. You're a hard judge. Say how can I repay you. Won't you stay for dinner. No thanks. Can I lend you any money pal. How about taking a pound of sugar. No Gilders leave. I've been amply repaid just watching the way your big fat stupid face lights up. What a sense of humor. Hooker you kill me. Hey young before you do anything rash don't you think you should see if it'll fit your car first. Leroy that is in flight. Remember you must never look a gift tube in the size. By the way judge it is the right size isn't it. Of course it is your big blimp. Well so long folks I've got to get back home now. Good night. Bye bye guys. Leroy there goes one of nature's noblemen. That isn't what you said about him yesterday uncle. What did I say. You said he was so stingy he has his bubble gum retreaded. Leroy never repeat malicious gossip. Today we saw on you Judge Hooker a kind generous thoughtful hooker. Yes. Yes I got to find some way to reciprocate for this beautiful tube. Well he's running for reelection. That's right. And next month he's going to observe his 20th anniversary as a judge. Say that'd make good publicity for his campaign. If we could celebrate by giving him a now let me see. We could give him a dinner. Yes we could give him a dinner. No wait why not. That's what we'll do. We'll organize a testimonial dinner and keep it a surprise from it. Yeah and get him a present too. Yeah right boy my boy. Now what kind of a present should we get Judge Hooker as a reward for sitting on the Superior Court bench for 20 years. I know what Mr. Gilles leaves. What birdie. A big soft fluffy pillow. Mr. Corbett. Gilles leaves speaking. We're holding a testimonial dinner for Judge Hooker. And I'm calling to see how many tickets you want. Now now Mr. Corbett he always spoke well of you. Don't you feel you owe the judge something. How. Why during the last election campaign didn't he kiss your baby. Right after that didn't he come down with a mumps. What's that. Oh your baby got the mumps from him. Oh excuse me goodbye. Maybe you shouldn't have brought that up Uncle Mort. Mr. Corbett controls a lot of votes. Oh Hooker's going to win in a walk my dear and a good thing too. A little stiff is getting a little stiffer. Look I've printed all the tickets. I'm like printing print. Oh fine my boy thank you. You owe me two dollars for paper. All right here's one of the tickets. Two dollars go out and sell it. Jeepers why didn't I think of that. I'm getting to Mr. Switchell Uncle. Oh thanks Marjorie. There she is. Hello Mrs. Switchell. This is Mr. Gildersleeve. I'm on the Judge Hooker testimonial dinner committee. You know the judge don't you. Now Mrs. Switchell he always spoke well of you. Oh hello Judge Hooker. Mr. Gill please understand. How many tickets do you want Mrs. Switchell. Uncle Mort here comes the judge. Oh my goodness hide the tickets quickly now. Yeah. Don't let that old baboon see him. Well no no not you Mrs. Switchell he had a baboon. Hello Gildersleeve. Who's a baboon. Me. See you later Mrs. Switchell goodbye. It's a charming woman that Mrs. Switchell isn't she. Only with snakes. He and her husband are still sore at me because of something that happened in my court years ago. What was that Judge Hooker. I married them. Hey what are these tickets doing on the floor. Pickets. Oh never mind. I'll pick them up. Oh. Getting me with that. Your guilty. Did you get them all right uncle. Yes I think so. What's so important about those tickets Gildersleeve. What are you hiding them for. Who me hiding. What pockets are you thinking about. The what the ones you're stuffing in your pocket. Nothing against the law are they. Oh no judge quite the contrary. Yeah that's right. They're one of the most contrary. Uncle. Excuse him Judge Hooker. He's just organized a benefit for a very deserving man. Yeah so there. Oh poor fella. Anyone I know guilty. Oh brother. Well I'd be glad to buy a couple of tickets. Let's see him. Oh I don't think they want you to buy any tickets for this judge. Oh I see. I'm not good enough to go. You just want to invite your ritzy friends is that it. All right. I know where I'm not wanted. Oh some people want out of you. Are your inner tubes. After they got them. They toss your side like a worn out taking. Uncle your face is getting terribly red. Say something before your eyes pop out. Oh. The editor assigned one of the reporters to show us their files on Judge Hooker. Are you going to tell him you want the dose of your speech to the banquet. Oh no leave. We don't want any publicity to it's all over. Shh. Mr. Gillisleeve. My name is Duffy. Hello Mr. Duffy. I brought you our hooker file. Oh a whole envelope full of clippings. As suppose we spread them out right here. Okay. Let's see what we got here. Yes. Look here's a picture of a judge when he was first torn into office. Gee I never knew he had hair. Of course my boy. You think he was born bald. Well wasn't he. Quit changing the subject. Look at this. Judge foils jailbreak by conking crook with gavel. Prisoner loses hearing. And listen to this one. Taxi company defaults drunk driving suit as Hickey Hackey plays hooky from Hooker. Yes. Oh look at here. Here's a picture of him in army uniform. Corporal Hooker returns from guarding Niagara Falls as Spanish-American war ends. Say excuse me but why all the interest in the judge. Well you see Mr. Duffy he's coming up for reelection and I've got a little surprise for him that's all. Thank you for showing me these. Come on LeRoy. If we're going to make the judge's office we'll have to run. Run for office huh. Hey Tutts give me Mr. Cornell. A boss is Duffy. You know that guy Gilder Sleeve. Well after he dug around in the judge Hooker's past I heard him say he's going to run for the judge's office. Now look we're out after Hooker so what do you say we endorse Gilder Sleeve. Good. I've been gunning for that hooker ever since he hit my brother over the head with his gavel. What just one ticket now see here you're a lawyer aren't you Mr. Marks. And you practice in Judge Hooker's court don't you. And you want to keep on winning cases don't you. How many tickets did you say. Six. Oh well that's better. Thank you Mr. Marks goodbye. Good afternoon Uncle Marks. How's the ticket sale going. Oh splendidly my dear. Although I'm afraid the speakers table is going to be terribly unbalanced. Everybody is so eager to be on Judge Hooker's right side. Excuse me Mr. Gilder Sleeve but the gentleman here to see you only he ain't. He ain't. What do you mean Bertie. He ain't no gentleman. He looks tougher than twenty cents what a goat means. Oh I'm very. Afraid that's just your imagination. Show him in. Okay but when I park to the door I'm going to have a meat cleaver in my hand. I wonder who I can be. Oh probably some friend of Judge Hooker's. Mr. Beer Barrel Buck. Well well well. Hello Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Say some joint you got here. Yes isn't it. What can I do for you Mr. Beer Bucket. Buck is the name. Oh yeah. Only me friends call me Beer Barrel for oblivious reasons. Oblivious reasons. Some of us boys was hearing about the speed you're throwing for old persimmon pus. Persimmon pus. The judge the judge. And we wanted to be excluded too. Yeah we want to pay tribune to the old geezer. Oh well that's a very nice spirit Mr. Barrel House. I'm sure the judge will appreciate it. I hope so. I've been trying to get to the judge for some time now. Say if we buy a hundred tickets do you think that'll take care of the beef. Take care of the beef. That'll take care of the whole meal. That'll cost you two hundred dollars. Two seas. Well that's a mere bag of telly. Oh bag of telly. Here you take it Mr. Pilsner. And here's the dough. Well Salam it's you're going to be a load off of me associates minds now that we're palsy wowsy with old pickle pan. Pickle pan. Oh yes he means cucumber kisser. Oh that reminds me have you heard about my poem for the banquet Marjorie. No uncle more. Well it's called poem on the occasion of the celebration of Judge Horace Hooker's 20th anniversary of his election to the state superior court best. Oh that's just wonderful uncle. Wait a minute that was just the title. How does the poem go. I don't know I haven't written it yet. Where is it. Lead me to him. Oh there you are. Gildersleeve what is the meaning of this. Oh hello judge what's the meaning of what. This story in the political column of the times. Throck Morton Pete Gildersleeve to run against Judge Hooker. Dark horse enters race. Who's a horse. It's a flat a frame up to ruin me. Gildersleeve you're going to pay for this. Yes but judge I just went there to put down that floor lamp hooker. I'll put it down on your head you overstuck double crosser. Wait a minute that paper lie. How can I run for a judge I'm not even a lawyer. Hey that's right. I should have thought of that myself. But I'm all a bundle of nerves today. Got a mighty tricky trial on my hands and I've got a right to be generated. Is that so. What case is that judge. The gang of cutthroat racketeers. Whole slew of them. It's beer barrel buck on his mob. Oh my here we go again. The great Gildersleeve will be with us again in just a few minutes. Meanwhile let me tell you how to perform a little kitchen magic. How to make delicious macaroni and cheese in only seven minutes cooking time. You do it with a product called craft dinner. In every box of craft dinner there's a special macaroni. You plunge it into boiling water cook it not more than seven minutes for the clock. And it's finished fluffy tender as any macaroni you ever baked in your life. You drain the cooked macaroni, whisk in a little milk and butter, and then sprinkle cheese goodness through and through with a craft grater that also comes in every craft dinner box. Isn't that easy? And wait till the folks taste this fluffy macaroni drenched in cheese goodness. Craft dinner served as a main dish is downright thrifty. At your grocery's tomorrow see that for yourself. And get several packages of craft dinner so you can stock the pantry shelf. And now back to the great Gildersleeve who's still determined to surprise Judge Hooker with a big testimonial dinner even if it kills him. Him being the judge. Oh, hello Bertie. Good afternoon Mr. Gildersleeve. I've just come from the Summerfield Biltmore. The chef and I arranged the menu for the banquet. Listen to this. At first crab a la Judge Hooker. What's that? Well you know what a big crab the judge is. Well these are even bigger. Next, parole of mock turtle soup. What's that parole mean? Fresh out of the can. After that Bertie comes the foul. The foul what? It Bertie stop interrupting. We're having turkey a la Gildersleeve. Now what can that be? I'm not sure myself. The chef said something about it being stuffed with chestnuts. After that roast beef, baked potatoes, cream corn and chocolate whipped cream pie. All sounds mighty rich. Judge Hooker usually sucks on milk, toast and a cup of hot water diluted. Bertie the only reason we're giving this dinner is so the judge can get a good square meal. Hello Uncle Mort. Sadie do you order a lot of flowers for the speakers table at the banquet? Oh yes, why not? Doesn't Judge Hooker suffer from rose fever? It rose fever? Now my tree a few American beauties aren't going to hurt his Yankee noodle. Uncle Mort, you look worried. Yes, why not? All the details of that dinner on my shoulders, arranging for speakers, trying to find a suitable present for the guest of honor. Worrying about that gangster and his mob showing up? You mean that fellow who came in and bought a hundred tickets? Yes. Did beer barrel and his gang come, the decent people who think they're pals of Hooker's and the judge will be washed up like seaweed. Why don't you give them their money back? Oh Marjorie, I refuse to have any dealings with Crooks. Besides, I've already spent the money for a string ensemble. String ensemble? Yeah. You mean a lynching party? Oh. Well, the only thing to do is sell another hundred tickets and get the money back that way. I thought of that. Only we've already sold almost 800 of them and I just found out the banquet room only seats 250. Oh my goodness, what are we going to do? Well, we can either feed them in relays or else I can arrange a lap supper in the lobby. Oh, spluttering spigots. That's beer barrel now. Birdie, don't let them in. Tell them I've gone away. Where to? The Shangri-La. Uncle, you'll never squeeze under that sofa. Hey, what are you doing? Who wants the door? Oh, get up, Uncle Morty. It's just Leroy. You don't have to hide. If who? Leroy? If, well, who's hiding? I was just playing air raid sheller. You don't have to worry about that big gangster anymore. How do you know? It says so right here in the paper. Look. Let me see. Judge Hooker sentences Hoodlum Mob the 20 years apiece. Beer barrel bought, dragged from courtroom, shrieking, I want my money back. Sorry, old fella. No refunds. We'll now take a recess in five minutes. That's what we've been waiting for, Leroy. Now you know what you're to do, don't you? Yeah, sure, Uncle. We're going up to talk to Judge Hooker, and when he isn't looking, I'm going to swipe his gravel. If not gravel, my boy, gavel. Okay, I'll swipe his gavel then. If not swipe either. We simply want to borrow his gavel so we can measure it and have an exact duplicate made in ivory and gold as an anniversary present. Why does it have to be so exact? Well, the judge is as temperamental about his gavel as the golf pro is about his clubs. You mean the judge uses this for a putter? Yes. No, my boy. He just finicky about the size and weight. He never leaves it around. He probably takes it home nice to crack nuts. Oh, hello, Judge Hooker. Oh, yes, hello, Judge Hooker. Hello, Leroy. Hello, Killer Sleeve. What do you want? Oh, I just dropped in for a visit. How's your election campaign coming along, Judge? Badly. Very badly. I can't understand it at all. Three weeks ago, I was as good as re-elected. Today, I have a tough fight on my hands. Killer Sleeve, I believe there's a conspiracy against me. No, who'd ever do such a dirty trick? Well, there's some sinister figure trying to cut my throat behind my back. You mean something underhanded is hanging over your head? I don't know what I mean. Half the crooks in town come up to me now and slap me on the shoulder and say, I'll be seeing you, Judge. People keep winking and whistling at me. I'm being persecuted, I tell you. Oh, no, maybe it's just some friends. Planning is a surprise, Judge. Friends? You mean fiends? Why, if I ever... Hey, Judge, time to resume court. Thank you, Sillsby. I'll be right there. Look, Killer Sleeve, keep your eyes and ears open. If you see or hear anything suspicious, please let me know. Oh, sure, Judge. Just leave everything to me. Honk! Coming, Leroy? Did you get it? Sure, and I drew an outline of it on paper like you told me. Oh, fine. Let's slip the gavel back into place now, huh? Court will come to order, please. Just a second, Sillsby. Where's my gavel? Uh-oh. Where's the judge's gavel? It was right there, Your Honor. Isn't here now? Someone must have stolen it during recess. Leroy, isn't it getting a little stuffy in this courtroom? Well, yes, Uncle Flock Morton. Shall we get some fresh air? Well, is this a practical joke or a real theft? All right, Billet, lock the doors. We'll search everyone in the courtroom till we find the confidence. Leroy, get rid of that gavel. Don't worry, honk, I did. It's splendid, my boy. Where'd you hide it? In your pocket, Uncle. Leroy, never do that again. The judge won't like me if he finds this. We've got to get out of here. Oh, Judge Hooker, can I whisper something to you? What is it, Gilles? Judge, I've got an important engagement with the governor. You wouldn't want to keep him waiting, would you? No, go ahead, go ahead. I've got enough trouble without you, you big buffalo. Feed it. Oh, thanks, Judge. Come on, Leroy. Sillsby, let Mr. Gilles leave. It's okay. All right, Judge. Gee, honk, that was fast-thinking. What are you going to do with the gavel now? It's the gavel? Oh, I haven't got it anymore, Leroy. While we were talking, I stuck it in the Judge Hooker's pocket. I'm an extremely busy man, Mr. Goldersleeve. What can I do for you? Well, Governor, I hate to ask any favors. But after all, I voted for you the last three times you were elected. Thanks. However, this is my first term in office. If it is? Must have been two other governors. Please get to the point of your visit, Mr. Goldersleeve. If you were visited, have any points. Oh, it has, definitely. I just want to invite you to be the principal speaker at a dinner we're giving for Judge Horace Hooker. Hooker? Why that little... Governor, he's always spoken well of you. Oh, he has, has he? Oh, absolutely. Except maybe when you pardon some crook, he's just sent up the river or passed some law that he has to declare unconstitutional or to get involved in some shady deal with the forestry department. And what does he say then? Oh, he still sticks by it. He says our state has the best governor that money can buy. See here, Goldersleeve, I didn't come to some reveal to be insulted. I know it. Judge Hooker said you came here to make a couple of sharp horse trades so you could stay in office. Well, after that, I'm certainly not going to make a speech in favor of any political nincompoop. But I'm not asking you to talk about yourself, Governor. I wasn't talking about myself, Goldersleeve. I was referring to that miserable little travesty on justice. That anemic habeas corpuscle. That blithering chugitru plunder named Judge Hooker. Did you get that? No, Governor. Would you mind repeating it again? There's a couple of dandies I'd like to remember. Now for your buttonhole, Mr. Gill, please. My but you look tough to lecture me tonight. Thank you, Bertie. Thank you. It's Leroy. Yes, sir? Stop shining your shoes on your stockings. Harry Meiser, we were going to be late. Well, coming on the horse, is Judge Hooker here yet? No, but I'm expecting him at any moment. Has he found out about the surprise yet, Uncle? No, Leroy. It's been a terrible strain keeping it from him all these weeks. He thinks the four of us are going to the summer field built more for a nice, quiet dinner. I can hardly wait to see his disceptic dial light up when he walks into the banquet room and sees all those people. That must be him now. I recognize the ring. I'll answer, Bertie. Well, well, come in, come in, come in, Judge. Elder Steve, on the way down here, I was stopped by a motorcycle officer. Oh, my goodness. That's too bad, Joe. Yeah, police department's in a perfectly rotten state. I agree with you. Imagine that cop. He offered me my choice. Either a $5 ticket for speeding or else I could buy a ticket for some political shindig for $2. Political shindig? Oh, well, I hope you took your medicine like a good citizen. I did. I gave him the two bucks. No. Didn't even look at the darn thing in the dark. Wonder what racket it is. Oh, well, there's no time to waste you. Let's get going. Marjorie, hurry up, Marjorie. Any time, Gilding. Where did I put that ticket? Marjorie, hurry up. I found it. What's this? Marjorie, never mind, hurrying up. Testimonial dinner honoring 20th anniversary of Judge Horace Hooker, entertainment music speakers. Uncle Mort Gildersleeve, chairman. Uncle Mort Leroy, why did you do that? Gildersleeve, why did you do this? Oh, now the surprise is all spoiled. But I hate testimonial dinners. Now he tells me. Why couldn't you have mentioned it three weeks ago when you gave me that tube? You could have saved me all the time and trouble I put in. But no, you have to surprise me at the last moment. You've been working on this campaign clam bake that long? What do you mean clam bake? This is the season's swankiest civics waray. It's nut cups and everything. But what's the idea of having cops flag people down and then hold them up? Hey, do I get my two bucks back? All in good time, Hooker. Let's wait and see if we have a deficit first. Well, I'm all ready. Come on, what are we waiting for? Oh, yeah, that's right. What are we waiting for? Let's hurry up. I wish I had known about this before I'd have gotten a haircut. Come on, you haven't needed a haircut since you came back from Niagara Falls, Corporal. Hurry, everybody. Now, hurry. You mustn't keep the crowd waiting. All right. Judge, all those hundreds of people stand up and start cheering. Now, you've got to pretend that this is all a big surprise. Do you understand? Don't worry. I'll know what to do. Say, I think I'm gonna like this. Yeah. Well, you better like it after all the trouble. Oh, great jumping jeeps. What was that as if I didn't know? Well, what was it? What was it, guilty? Remember the tube that brought on this little celebration? Yes. Well, it just had a blow out all of its own. And remember, ladies and gentlemen, life is just a football game. So let's keep Judge Hooker on the bench. We should also honor him for his military services to his country, a brave soldier in time of war, an officer beloved by all who served under him, and a gentleman who flinched not at his post. And it is with this thought in mind that I ask your indulgence while I read a little poem of my own composition, especially written for this occasion as a tribute to that Prince of Goodfellows, George Horace Hooker. H is for honesty. You can see it in his mug. O is for offenders who he puts right in a jug. O is also for the office he's held for 20 years. K is for the knowledge hidden between his ears. E is for the energy that always has been his. Ours for reelection, let's keep him where he is. Put them all together. They spell Hooker a name that fits him like a glove. Yeah. And in conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, if any of you have been lavish in your praise of Judge Horace Hooker, it's only right. Or remember, he always spoke well of you. Thank you, Marjorie. Thank you, LeRoy. Too bad you printed the wrong date on the tickets, LeRoy. Otherwise, we surely would have had a bigger crowd. And now, Judge Hooker, won't you say a few words? Yes, quick. Get me some bicarbonate of soda. This dinner's killing me. This is going to be one of my bad days. How is he, Marjorie? Oh, he'll be up and around in a day or so. How are you feeling, Uncle Morse? Is that lump on your head any better? What happened? The last thing I remembered was presenting Judge Hooker with that golden ivory gavel. What caused the blackout? Gee, Uncle, he presented it right back to you. He did? Good night. Original music for the music program was composed and conducted by William Randall. This is Jim Vannon speaking for the class music company and inviting you to tune in again next week at the same time for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. We all want to eat the right food these days. The nourishing foods that help give us energy and health. So it's good news that the right foods need not be extensive and that they can be mighty appetizing, too. Now, a good example is wholesome nourishing parquet margarine, the delicious bread-for-bread made by Krant. You see, parquet is the margarine that tastes so wonderfully good, and it's an economical source of important food elements, too. Energy. Parquet is one of the best energy food you can serve. Vitamin A. Winter and summer, there are 9,000 units in every pound. So you see, parquet margarine is as nutritious as it is delicious and economical. Now, if it isn't there already, put parquet margarine on tomorrow's shopping list. Remember, it's parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Krant. This program has reached you from Hollywood. This is The National Broadcasting Company.