 Blood in your stool doesn't mean you've been eating blood it means that it's probably Your own blood in the poo. It's not a good thing if it's dark. It's better than fresh. Yeah, you're not you're not getting it You need to go Make an appointment, okay Matter we got life Well everyone welcome to episode number nine. All right very serious episode this one There's some bad news. No joking boys. No mucking around this time. Okay, Matt's parents died in a car accident Oh, please don't fucking it's like Michael's had a premonition. All right, and he's parents die in a car accident Look, I don't want to alarm you, but he's been right once before he has had a premonition Anyway, so as a result of that premonition, we're not gonna make any jokes today. I'm serious boys Let's just keep it nice and serious at a respect All right, I'll tell you mom to stay off the gateway Give me a berry Last week we What's that run now the rugby league episode on our social media? We've filmed no one right after she had a rib snapped So I had to just do it go and have a look pause the video now go and have a look What else do we do last week? Well, I'll tell you so didn't your hockey won't come out just recently Yeah, I'm they watch this By the time they listen, oh, sorry, just kind of cut that I And last week, yeah, what what what the fuck happened you're on an Easter trip right now No, I'm back. Oh Yeah I'm going away tomorrow, right for four nights to have a relax because it's been look it's been a pretty rough month It's a rough year. What's what happened last week? What do we do we went to I don't know We just had admin days Lots of admin days. Oh, we couldn't film because of the lockdown. Oh the fucking lockdown. Thank God that wasn't extended Yeah, and Fucking here. We are boys. We're ready to just drop a banger. Marty's got his berries Yeah, fucking I guess it's time for on these days Oh, we will hang on we weren't drinking my Cheeky night out me and Matt Brown actually kissed so I danced a second time this year We've had a little drink and we we all just went over to James's We used to play some fucking board games and just fuck around And then we're like let's go bowling and then went to bowling and then one of the boys had a drink Another one of the boys had drink and then we're like fuck it. Let's just have a little night and then Matt Kissed me. Yeah Made a Michael kissed my Michael was stirring Julian all night and Julian pulled a gun and a loaded gun and held it to Michael's head Yeah, fuck it was it's fun and Connor from crack and milk was with us Yeah, I'm from crack and milk came good to catch up And it's pretty fun night apart from James got quite ill poor guy fucking out And Michael lost a lot of money at the bloody casino You know remember that our friend a meal had a few wins though Yeah, what he would he win not much but he put in he spent $20 on that and he came out I think he came out with like $60. Hmm. So he doesn't he's one of those guys who don't have sex with prostitutes. Yeah, he's safe Sometimes he has a safe in his house Robert. Yeah, it's got cameras though. Be careful I had a drink and I'm still it's Monday now. We're filming we're filming early because I'm going away for four days in like Just so flat. I can't really just sucks the life out here. Oh My body's not used to it suck. We've been poisoned. Can't what time did you wake up after drinking the next day? I can't have a sleep properly on 230 and in the afternoon. Yeah, what time were you though? Like 10 Okay, you had to do family Easter shit. I can't imagine that that would mean it's so I had a proper breakfast. Did you have to do family shit? Um, I went and saw my my mom and my sister last night Boring No, so I my family's good. We don't see each other like every week. So when we do see each other, it's quite fun Okay, we all catch I'll get you an Easter egg mom didn't she bought me some shorts. Do you want to see him? I got them on stand up. Sam stand up and show me. I like the tears She got them from general pants. I've seen the exact same one Byron Bay companies. Yeah, and they sell thrills at general pants. Oh, that's part of David Jones. So sorry It's David Jones. That's actually David Jones, man Disregard that general pants comment. Okay, they're not there. I don't want you guys going to fucking general pants thinking I'm gonna pick up some cool shorts and then they get there and there's nothing but not thrills So please disregard that last comment berries All right, let's move right along. Okay, we got a big day ahead of us. We're gonna go live on Instagram soon, but first Let's have a look at the on this days is where you came Matthew Brown Yeah, yeah, you ready? Yep. I went through all everything. There's no diary entries. There's nothing. Oh, really? Okay You went to the right folder I should be fine. I've just been going on the same folder. So we'll see we'll see Let's just read and see you and see one on fault you from last week on this day in 1970 dr. Phil witnessed a mother accidentally drop her baby onto a glass table which shattered The baby was cut everywhere and was screaming and crying Dr. Phil was confused and said that was me I would have just have applied some pressure to that cuts and calmly called an ambulance All that screaming is making things worse He then realized he needed to become a doctor and dedicate his life to teaching babies basic survival behaviors Hence the dr. Phil. That's why he fucking well, that's why I got a dr. Phil show. Yeah Do you reckon if you're a doctor? Oh You'd have to be an asshole, but it's like when someone talks to you. It's like instead of being called mister You correct them and go, you know, that's a doctor. Yeah Like you'd fuck it. I'd kick my own ass. Maybe we should start doing that We should go up to per strangers ask them a question and then when they reply I'm a doctor. Oh, yeah, I don't mind that. That could be good Yeah, on this day in 1985 a young Cristiano Ronaldo got his first job on a ship His job was to be the anchor a steel chain was weld to his shins and he would be thrown overboards He would sink to the bottom and grab onto the ocean floor as hard as he could There he would wait for hours until the captain decided they needed to continue and he would be pulled up Wow First jobs are always so funny What was your first job? Woolworths. I worked in the deli Matthew was a blockbuster. No, I was Woolworths as well Really? Yeah, it's produce check out. Oh, sorry. No, no I did do check out for a little bit and I went to produce fuck me. Do I not miss that life? I miss it because I think you were there in a bit. Are you a part over 18 when you were there? No, I started when I was 14, but when did you finish fuck? I think I was doing part time too I was like 22. Yeah, see that's what I think of my it's a bad taste Well, I had three years of like 15 16 17 little bit of maybe 18 and it was all fun all my friends from school work there Yeah, we had a fucking great time. It was a it was a good good day. Yeah, I'll tell you about it later. Sorry On this day in 2005 George Clooney seduced a shopping trolley He was seen stuffing his dick in between the gaps in the trolley and then flicking his testicles Cops were called and George was asked to move on That's the problem. I guess if you're that good-looking you accidentally seduce Random objects sometimes, you know, it's hard. It'd be difficult. You've had it a little bit. Yeah, when I was younger All right, and that looks to be all of our hang on There is one more Here we fucking go. It's a diary entry Oh Don't Look, I've told you it's on the paper. I'm reading it. It's a phone. It's on the paper on the phone. I'm reading it On this day in 2016 diary entry number 1476 from Matthew Gregory Brown Yes She finally emerged she took over seven minutes in the toilet, so I knew it was going to be good I looked around and saw my opportunity. I darted into the female toilets and chuckled with excitement as I did I knew I had to be quick and not lose myself in what I was about to experience I pushed open the first toilet stall and eagerly sniffed the air Nothing I moved to the second stall and again was left feeling lost a horrific thought entered my mind What if she hadn't taken a brown? I moved to the third and my anxiety levels were through the roof I was already sniffing before I had stuck my head in the beauty and the beautiful smell hit me a Tangled mess of sweetness sour notes in a grand decomposing meat undertone It was just as as magnificent as I imagined I arched to my back as I inhaled as deeply as I could I Wanted the entirety of my lungs to be full of this foul odor Tears ran down my face as I could even taste the scent Big deep breath in over and over again until I became light-headed I snapped out of my euphoric situation and quickly left the cubicle back to work But this time I have a smile on my face and a tingling little brown It would be that he was chasing the scent of a shit and it was he did not let me down Okay, that was very good confronting I loved that You say it's so fuckedly well, I'm just reading how Matt has written it Michael's broken the microphone Michael's broken the microphone Matt's looking around He's getting angry. I think he's licking his lips. He's looking down on the ground where the broken part is He's just exhaled Matt just exhaled Michael's got his hands up. He's very doesn't know what to do Matt's just stood up now I have to come on camera and he's just said now I have to come on camera So I'm starting to think maybe Michael planned this to try and get a feel as Matt goes past That's gone a long way Natural causes all right bear with us for a second while our little brown mops up Michael's spill Brown cleaning town Oh Oh Tell me that's how we talk off camera. Yeah, that's me and Marty. That's what we do every day Just a giggle off with whatever the fuck you were doing Yorn sleeping oh That made a sweat happen All right, so we're back. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, I don't know why that happened We also forgot to mention that this podcast is sponsored by fucking man scaped. All right man scape comm All of your men's grooming needs are there very high quality stuff Okay, we are yet to cut our testicles with their ball trimmer. It's terrifying It's a terrifying thing to do their ball trimmer We'll help you Michael's using it again right now every week He shaves more pubes off to show the camera. There you go. That's yeah That's a lot of pubic hair like that's really and that's so quick and it's got a light on it And they've just announced that they've got a man scaped perfume coming out really Yeah, they emailed today and said he'd mentioned the perfume so they got a perfect Yes, and I think we're the way they're sending some to us fuck so we can have a sniff of it Matthew We can have a deep inhale of it if you like okay, it's pretty snazzy and we all this podcast It's all so I am so if you want to buy something use our discount code fully actual you get 20% off just like that And it helps us what you want to spend $100 or you want to spend $80 spend 80? I think I think I would prefer that so use the discount code fully actual do you understand the other sponsor is the University of Michael Michael Right here this bag and yet that is our website where we can post everything that happens to us Weekly vlog sometimes there over 30 minutes long the episode. It's like TV man Yeah, it's a real life. It's like a real life for reality show of our lives You sign up if you don't like it you don't have to stay but you sign up for free Do you get it yet? Do you understand what I'm saying? You sign up for free You watch it if you don't like it then you fucking stand up and walk away What Matt Matt's walked away a long time ago. He's never even signed up. He's turned his back on his friends He's been to be in the toilet stores Haven't you Matthew Brown? He's been browning. He's been investigating He's been browning Matthew Brown I'm all over the bloody place. Yeah, I'm fucking if you could all can we make any move fucking right along Let's do some fucking Q&A is brown town. Would you love to go live? love to go Brown town first question is from Alice there Ferguson pretty sure it's a list of Marty is it fair to say Michael has suffered more pain in your videos and he's a bit more braver than you Look, I think we have both suffered equally. You can see in the videos It's not easy for me to see him in pain. Like I'm not I'm not enjoying it You know, it's hard on me and like you get hide you fucked me when I'm on the ground Yeah, that's like a response to my like Distraughtness it's trauma man. Like no one wants to see that their friends going through that. So it's it's equally as hard fucking better so no And to be honest, I would love to have the roles reversed one day. I want to Throw my body on the line and and then not be so traumatized by what I'm seeing because it's happening to me You know that guilt wouldn't be there probably worse, but but it just it never happens You know, so whatever I guess this is just how it's meant to be so it'll be be but no we're even man It'll be be that is good Man, it's a hot one. Oh next question is from spare underscore rib 330 What are the best experiences and events that happened to you in the past 12 months? Best experiences and events man. That's a fucking weird question We fucking well to the we finished last year with a bit of a bang That was nice because we had a for the last year was fucking rough It was a rough year and then the last sort of third of it We came back a bit and we we did we fucking did a very cool thing Didn't we we kicked you out of the grand final and then that sort of and then we refocused and yeah Things are things are on the up even though this year. It's been quite tricky personal lives wise but Content-wise, it's been alright. It's been okay so far. Hmm. So Next question is from our same guy spare rib. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? Going back to sleep. Oh Yeah The first thing I think is I'd love another five. Do you know a little life hack? I might have said this before Set your alarm like 2 a.m. 3 a.m Wake up be real pissed off and then realize you've got another like four or five hours sleep Or you just the disrupting your sleep though And then your next time you wake up you be a little bit more tired I know but you get that initial like oh, yes, it's not time to get up yet I've still got or you get even do you get even step it up and then set an alarm on a Saturday morning at 6 a.m. And be like oh fuck and then realize oh my god I can sleep all day if I wanted to yeah. Wow. Yeah, so try that one on for size. How about that? Oh for size Haven't heard that in a while about that. How about that? That's so catch me outside. How about that? How's she going? I heard rumors. She's 18 and she started her own only she broke some fucking record come Yeah record of amount of earnings in an hour. She made a million dollars on her only fans I told you to start one man. Sorry Next question is from Dean Pascoe Pascal Um Michael are you any good at guitar and would you ever play it on the podcast? Yeah, no, not really. Yeah, I played it when I was I Just self-taught myself. I can play I used to be able to play heaps of songs, but now I've forgotten them all But I can play like chords. All right. Well, let's get it. I can't do like solo shit Oh, I saw you play guitar in Bali on a stage in front of a crowd and you did pretty well Oh, dude, I need Kpo too. No, well, that's happening. We're gonna try and organize that for you guys great suggestion. Yeah, good I'll see we could make look. I'll play the harmonica if you want me. We could write a song together We you guys give us a theme and we'll come up with the song. That's good This is more of suggestion from Lake McBogen here. He said you should try Dave Hughes for the hunt I thought that was a great idea. We'll think about that for the next one There's a bit of an update on my hunt. So we might do this next Also, another suggestion was maybe Mark Hunt former UFC fighter. I'd be scared to upset him No, you know, you wouldn't want to accidentally make a joke that he doesn't like and then you got these big fucker offended come knocking on your door We live and leaving dead birds out on the porch. Yeah, that's why that's happening So I'll read out his question. He says what's the worst experience you've had on hardcore drugs such as MD or acid? If you've had any at all at our friends house He's had some mushroom tablets and then they all started hitting me and then like I'd be standing in the lounge room And then I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go like get a drink or something And then I turn and then I'm in a completely different part of the lounge room And I got I was like started freaking out. I said to sit in the corner and sort of just hope that the way is off Yeah, psychedelics can go wrong real quick Really though really Kedemines good K. Hollings fun if you're sober No, I saw I watched someone do it and they did too much. You were there with me. Yeah, but he was drunk Yeah, I know it was just a bit. It's once again. It's just a bad experience to see someone go through it like that Yeah, yeah, but like it was lucky. It was like he did it And they couldn't walk He just he slept in my bed that night. So I was just like left alone Singing and dancing for him as we all be outside and I've come in every maybe 20 minutes and Michael would be Locky'd be unconscious on the floor and Michael it'd be showing him his asshole Fucking win in the whole time. Please look at me And then oh MD is probably It's fine, but it's scary like when you realize How far you'd pushed it like yeah, we should have died. We should have made me sick to think about I still look It's hard to even do now because it just I think I've just Fried your boat. It's just been a couple of times where it's just too much It's far too much. I think maybe four times where it was just like I couldn't piss for hours Remember, yeah, show me I couldn't I needed to piss so badly the next day and it's like 10 a.m And I like I was stressing so hard because I couldn't stand up straight. I need to piss I go to the toilet. I try and piss and nothing would happen. The nerve was like jammed And then I was such a relief and when I finally was out I was like like an hour away from going to the hospital Yeah, fuck Because you forget you forget that you've just had some and then you have more and more And then you have some cunt coming around and free pouring bag into your hand It's just it can get out of hand very swiftly You would make it that whole body And ever since then that's what my life is now Um next question is from in the night Andy Where do you want to retire and what do you want to do with yourselves once you retire? I wouldn't mind taken taken taken the old girl and When we retire moving to maybe Mount tambourine or something and just fucking buy a big fuck off a bit of property there And then just live the days out there in a cold dark room Light no electricity gone there barely any plumbing Just one pipe That's all I would I want to play golf I just want to fucking play golf when I'm old or young and I want to just want to have huts I'm gonna buy a huge block of land. We're gonna put shipping containers on it shipping shipping Oh, you should get you should put a golf course on your land. Yeah, I'm gonna have a par 3 that's for sure And then I'm gonna move in friends or family that want to live there. I'm gonna start a fucking commune get some cows Yeah, I'll have animals and you can all drink the Kool-Aid together a big barn in the center and like Oh, he's gonna be the world's biggest slip-and-slide. It's gonna be good. Then we push the cows down the slip-and-slide. Yeah It's safe Actually, I was driving an Albin the day and there's a huge painting on the wall of a building with two cows on it You've seen that lately. That's special. Yeah, I'll send you a picture. Yeah, please do Matthew pick Next question is from doughnut films regular Do you guys think 2019 was the best year for your channel? 2019 was a very good year. Yeah, that was back when back when social media Didn't have many rules but we people say this all the time and it hurts our feelings Oh, you guys gone soft We yeah, if we posted the shit that we used to do like even with that We have a backup Facebook page and I cross posted one of our old prank videos And then I just didn't even watch it just cross posted it and then I watched it and it was like fucking It was fucking intent. I was a holy fuck. This is gonna get removed Then the page is gonna get deleted. So we always have to be very careful That's why we're sort of trying to be a bit more mainstreamer now, you know, but fuck it's But they can watch the heavy stuff on the website. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, of course They can you can we can always do that everyone so fucking get in there In terms of growth yeah in 2019 we grew Cut that Connor Leave that bit in there repeat it Connor put it on repeat pain Cut that Connor Leave it in next question is from final carnage. What ever happened to renaming the segments? it just There's only so many noises you can make Do you know I Would a good quote I answer for this I think it's just like the three jokes sometimes you throw jokes through a season of a podcast and then sometimes they'll eventually Fizzle out chop and change. Yeah, yeah, the only thing that is for certain is change Hey, right. I think you'll throw one in every now and then write that down. Yeah, of course Matthew Next question is from Sun Goku What's your favorite color a lot of people have asked this probably said it your purple your blue blue or black I prefer darkness. I just want to be alone in the corner and Matthew is red Passion you should be brown. I've got the name. I don't need the color. Okay Brown and red mix together. What does that make maroon? Does not hundred percent. It does. I used to be promise promise. What what color does brown and Red make maroon. I was maroon for a bit. I remember. I don't know orange No, no, no, no, no, no, no Jesse Jones also asked that same question about what's your favorite color? Thanks, Jesse and that is the questions for this week everyone We hope you enjoyed that and now let's move along Let's get this train a chug a chugging through to the next segment and it's a grand old segment Oh, it's a segment where we open the gifts and many toys that you have sent to our PI box Which is right here everyone if you want us to open something live on the podcast Send it in and we'll open it. Okay Let's see what we've been sent this first one's from I Don't know but it's got the name of Matt Brown on it So someone's just sent us some coffee pods some send Matt some coffee pods him Matt. What if there's anything else in here? Thank you for the coffee pods. I thought it might have been like our instructions That's the first one that got sent some coffee. This is the next one and this is from Chris Matthews It's got your name and then an s in in his name, so that's pretty cool start I'm too tired. All right ready. I'm gonna slowly say a little box with a gift wrapping on top and here we go Kind of wish it did blow up Just read the fucking first sentence of this letter and I'm just a bit taken aback because I don't know what's in this box But it says I think it was a finger use my DNA for science and shit Don't fake your fucking trickshot videos smile if Gar loves menu floaties All of the love sincerely Chris Matthews place the toenail hasn't been opened in years in joy Don't be a pussy Michael smell it Yes All right, so I think it's a toenail in here. Oh, we don't fake our trick shots Yeah, they're real trick shots, but obviously some of them take more than one take No Okay, we have like a the thing that you put your examples in I'm not in the mood Michael Oh my god, it's yeah one of those things you're pissing when you got a tester. We made a promise We eat everything fucking now. Oh No Whoa, what's going on there? Why is it open? Why is what open? Oh, no, it's not so All right, what do we got? Guys like fucking serial killer or something. What's that? Oh, that's a big fucking toenail man There's a big fucking toenail in there. What's in that one? Can you see that can you see that on YouTube everyone to come close? Yeah, this is his jizz. No, it's not. Oh my fucking god He sent us a yummy he fucking That is fucking intense. This is the first one. We've been sent come in the podcast Which one do you want to smell I'll smell the toenail over the jizz Man man, man, man, man, he sent us his cum Is it still liquid? Yeah, I don't think we think the jizz would dry up. It normally does no, I don't know Don't look at me Maybe Google it does come dry does come dry in containers Oh People give cum samples to doctors Fucking hell dude. Why dude? Why are we like this? Why is this our job? It's yellow. The jizz is yellow There's probably a bit of residual piss left in the in his fucking Eurythra when he came all that out. I have an answer. Here we go The question they asked on Google is what happens when you keep sperm in a container after a few weeks as Long as the semen remains on a room temperature and the liquid can survive easily up to one hour Still cause I can still cause pregnancies after one hour But it says it doesn't dissolve. Yeah, see there you go. It does not dissolve unless it's in like cloth or something Michael's just opened the fucking toenail container I Didn't expect that what was it it was sour Man, maybe it's anthrax in a toenail Anyway, so my are you doing the cum one? Oh, I'd prefer not to have a go of this one. I want to see what you think of it Dude, it's it's fucked. Oh, what what commit? I can already smell it dude Oh Smells like super old fucked crusty socks. Oh god Fuck me that's powerful. Yeah, that was rough. Whoa Should we say maybe cut this constant a he probably doesn't want this like Couldn't say anything about is he knows people know you send the shit in we open it on the podcast I'm gonna tell us if you don't want us to reveal your name this guy is called Chris Matthews Thank you Chris for doing that. You're fucked, but we love it His Instagram is at CONS should we give him a follow? Do we follow people when they send us cum? Yeah, no, we're gonna get heaps of calm I can read his fucking handwriting co s co n s v. M. I am G Dot underscore dot I am P V L That's too much. I can't type that yeah, no, sorry you gotta have simple Instagram handles around this one especially if you're sending us cum We'll keep that though that stays with This is this will go right next to the human shit that someone Fuck me not a different it's a different day when that happens. It's an interesting one some day some days you get chocolate some days you get Come and tone owls. That's sometimes that happens here. Oh Man, well, yeah, that was found. Let's just be grateful. It wasn't a Christmas present moving right along everybody to Very good As you all know, we're trying to check if Shane Warren can still spin He's not applying to us so we've been bombarding his son with DMs and guess what brother we've had a fucking breakthrough So I said to her Jackson Warren I said, hey dude, how are you and he replied, hey, I'm good. Thanks. How are you? It's so shit so a good start and then I've just written today so good man. We're wondering if you could help us Your dad was a hero of ours growing up and we were wondering on our podcast if he can still spin Would you mind asking him for us a simple yes replies perfect So all we want from Shane Warren I just want like even if he just DMs him and says hey, mate You can use these guys want to know can you still spin and Shane replies? Yes, that's enough Yeah, I would like the video of a video would be good, but You know, I'm like 80% sure he can still spin so Like not as good as he used to obviously, but he can still spin the ball. I think So a simple yes, you know, we'll be able to tell from his reply. Okay, so that's the hunt update I'll keep you guys posted. I'm gonna keep messaging Jackson Warn his son and hopefully we'll get there one day man No, it's been a great journey so far. Let me tell you what about that German This is a segment where I very very casually and normally read out a very common German phrase and you guys Make fun of me That's what this segment is. Oh Hey, hey dance monkey. Ha ha ha look at the stupid idiot German. That's what this segment is Oh Oh man, give me a shot of a guy's Give me a shot of a guy's man Oh Which means don't go me on the go Is that mean like state like don't get on my nerves basically which is fitting Fuck that's the first one Du hast echt einem auf den waffel Which means you really have one at the waffle which means you're crazy man You really have one on the waffle which means crazy man fuck I don't get it, but whatever This is a very common one and another very fitting one for this segment You rude racist Here we go I Which means do you have a bird which means are you insane as well man, so It's like saying English equivalent He's got a few marbles loose or something, you know that translate There's nothing to do with being insane. I get it. He's got a screw loose. What excuse me, huh? What is he's a lot? It's not some sort of construction zone, huh English shit English is shit, too, man It's it sounds better You if you're gonna read a poem you'd read it in English if you read it in German you Hurt someone when I have Alzheimer's one day you revert back to your primary language And I will be speaking German when I'm 70 and only German Fuck Alzheimer's fuck Alzheimer's hard everyone Fuck it hard and long at night let it come into your house and bite it in Get a nice glass of shandy swell it around and fuck Alzheimer's hard All over the kitchen floor can't fuck it I've been working on something a machine It's out of the back. You'll see it one day when it's finished the word machine such a good word It's applicable in many areas Isn't it Matt's drinking from a machine? It's a water bottle about it. It's also a machine. It makes sense. It's a water Drinking machine. Yeah, holy fuck man see prank call Time is that it? We could do some we did skip some crime stories, but we are We are almost coming up to an hour so we can probably that hour flew right by didn't it mate All right, well, let's just do prank call in and I've got the perfect one We have that number that we didn't have last week Hopefully someone answers this week and again. I haven't thought of any plan B's It's okay. This is going to work dude. I'm comfort. Oh Get the get the mic down there That's why we've been this that's that's all we got now since my farts have dried up Oh, they're really gone now Anyway, all right, here we go Hello, am I speaking with Dane? Do you have a moment to chat, please? Yeah, mate, I'm Constable Jack borrows from the Caboche police precinct We just we've just been going through old CCTV footage And so are you the owner of a Holden Commodore? Well, it says it's registered to you man, we've looked it up on the system Do you know anything about the Holden Commodore, we just have some CCTV footage of a Holden Commodore brushing up against one of our police cars, so we're just trying to figure out who's done it and Okay, yeah, it wasn't me because I don't I only have my house. I don't even drive what what car you drive What what car do you own Dane? So you're telling me that this Holden Commodore I've just put into the system It's just come up with your name your address But you know nothing about it No, I don't even though the number plate rings a bell to you Yeah Listen mate, we're gonna have to get you to come in just for a couple of questions If you wouldn't mind You don't have to come in right now or anything tomorrow is fine If that car is registered to your father bring your father with you. How old are you Dane? 19 okay great all right, so you're an adult so you can come in on your own or you can bring your father as well but Yeah, that's that's what we have on cctv footage right now So yeah, we're gonna have to get you guys to come in and answer some questions for us So are you able to do that perhaps? Maybe this Wednesday, and if not we can send one of the patrol cars around to your address No, this is This is this is Jack. This is Jack from the Pulcher police department Great so so which is it mate? Would you like to come in? What do you want us to come to you? When when are you coming huh? I've got a lot. I've got a lot. I've got to let Tracy know when you're coming in Hey, I've got to let Tracy know when you're coming in mate. When are you coming in? Come in tomorrow what time about 12 lunchtime? Well, we might we might be out on lunch mate. Can you make it 11 a.m? Yeah, who do you think you are huh hitting our police car? Well, it's registered your name mate, so I have a really tough time believing that I can smell a liar from from a mile out Mate your father's a pig your father's a pig of a man if he hit our police car Surely this is a Frank. Oh, mate. This is Jack This is Jack from the Cabocha police station. Do you understand? 994 get a pen get a fucking pen write this down Let me know when you had a fucking pen in your hand. All right, you fucking little cunt I was right down my nose go ahead 994 26-12 that is my fucking badge number. All right, you fucking little slimy cunt you fucking hit our police car You thinking get away with it Fuck off cunt. This is Jack. I'm Jack Constable Jack from the Cabocha police station And you bring your fucking slut father down tomorrow because we're gonna find out who what slippery dog cunt hit our fucking car Do you understand me Jack? Yeah, well you fucking bring your fucking dad and if he's not wearing a bulletproof vest, he's in fucking danger cunt We'll see you a fucking midday tomorrow don't fucking tell no one cunt Well your fucking dad gets it cunt. I've just suspended your license. I've just done it click of a button keep laughing cunt Keep fucking laughing. I'll send the boys around I'll see you 1130 cunt. Don't you fucking make me do it. Don't make me do it cunt Oh fucking kill your whole family cunt This is Jack Constable Jack you have my badge number. This is fully allowed Constable Jack borrows Burrows I am the king of this police station. I'll see you 1130 Jack Well, I just say my name at the end of sentences Jack Jackie Jack Jackie This is my this is Matt Brown You know Matt Brown is Is the researcher here Yeah, I'm just waking up man. Where the fuck you tell joy. I said hey, all right All right, joy come here. Yeah No, I got him on the phone. Do you want to do did you fucking prank? Yeah? Fuck you such a slippery bug. I did he fall for it? Yeah, he's not speaking in here. Oh, yeah Hey, dude, sorry, man. It's joy. I put John. Hey, hey, dude It's joy. Oh, he pranked you he sent it. He sent it in He sent it in No, it's we're it's Hamish Nandi, man Yeah, you're on the radio, that's how we speak they're on live radio prime time Have a little computer a stall type of research And obviously we're joking we're not gonna actually do anything to his family. Yeah fucking it's like we could if we wanted to yeah We could get get the boys around all right get a garden tool each Pile in the bloody truck Matt. You know what I'm talking about go around to his joint and fuck them up But we're not gonna do that. Okay, cuz that was a prank call. It was a joke. We're not being serious. It's just words