 Welcome back to the 21 convention 2018 of Orlando, Florida Our next speaker is the best-selling author of no more mr. Nice guy He's also been a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years and in my opinion He is one of the godfathers of the Manisphere Without further ado, please help me welcome. Dr. Robert Glover to the stage Right. You really can't see anything up here with the lights. I Can see this row right here. Good-looking guys Anthony, thank you. Thank you I'm gonna be honest with you guys when Anthony contacted me a few months ago about speaking at this program I'd never heard of it. Didn't know what it was about did a little research looked really good, but yeah, sure It's it's guys. I love being with guys. I love speaking with guys and Is that kind of you know looked at a little bit more? I thought well, is this a red pill convention? Yeah, I know what red pill is but really have never identified as red pill Is it a pickup convention? I mean, I'm familiar with pickup, but I've never really identified with pickup But just being here. This is just guys the speakers on on this lineup. I mean, have they blown you guys away? Man Anthony, what a good job this morning. I'm listening to Donovan sharp I'm thinking that fucker stole my speech and he did it better than I could have done it and Dr. Sean Smith gets up here and Tells you guys what a kind man. I am Now he said he's not a nice guy, but he's kind Where are you Sean? Fuck you. You're kinder than I am He and I went and got a burger last night We didn't know each other until we met just a day or so ago and he picked up the tab He's kinder than I am But thank you for teeing up this talk As I said, I didn't really know what to expect coming here I got an email from somebody who's familiar with my stuff and And he said dr. Glover. He said, you know, aren't you kind of worried that going and speaking at this convention might tarnish your good reputation? And I thought to myself He doesn't know me He doesn't know that I don't need any help tarnishing my reputation. I can do it well enough on my own And I was thinking yesterday about my talk I've been thinking about it, you know for two weeks and the hard part is is leaving out stuff, right? And and Anthony should have given me eight hours. I don't know why he didn't Then I wouldn't have so much stress about what do I talk about it and not talk about But I was thinking yesterday afternoon. I need to check in with Anthony about kind of the policy about profanity You know, they said there's gonna be a Ted top talk type talk and after hearing Anthony's keynote last night. He raised the bar so fucking high on profanity I'm not worried about it. I Say fuck a lot. I'm pretty selective with my swearing fucks my go-to words. So you'll hear that quite a bit I Think for me the most fulfilling thing about being here I mean the speeches have been great being around men But you may have noticed I kind of go out and sit out in the four-year out in the lobby in between sessions Just just looking around and watching and when Anthony said that perhaps he considers me a godfather of the man is fear And I I've just kind of begun that's begun to sink in over the last six to 12 months for me Is that what I did what I wrote and put out about 15 years ago is I know the royalty checks keep getting bigger every year. So the book selling Let me just see a show of hands. How many people have read no more. Mr. Nice guy Yeah, when I wrote the book it took me about seven years to write it about three years to find a publisher and A lot of publishing companies the editors and many of them women said we like the book But our marketing marketing department says men will not buy a self-help book That I'm glad I'm pretty sure that attitude has changed in the publishing industry Because how many of you downloaded or bought at least three books in the last six months? Yeah, every fucking one of you right men buy books men are part of the economy you know we make a difference and I'm grateful for for every one of you that bought the book that it told somebody else about it Who told somebody else about it and I got to thinking well talking to so many of you breakfast and lunch and during breaks that That perhaps for many of you No more. Mr. Nice guy the book is like the the gateway drug into red pill Right the many of you find the book first and then you keep digging and you keep looking and and thank goodness There's stuff out there nowadays when I started my recovery process Really really all there was was Robert Robert Bly and iron John Michael Mead You could go out in the woods and beat a drum and hold a stick and say ho and that's good stuff But that's really about all there was now I get interview requests. I do several a month of guys with podcasts They're coaching men who have websites. We have the red pill. We got pick up. There is just so much stuff out there Aimed it men. That's why we're here, right and when I went on my book tour 15 years ago for no more Mr. Nice guy Do interesting things one is I think my publisher Barnes and Noble Thought that there would be blowback from feminists. I think they're hoping for it actually, you know stir up some some controversy some noise That hasn't happened. It hasn't happened and I'm gonna tell you one reason and not not that you know feminists have ignored it or anything like that But here's something I found I don't do marriage and family therapy anymore But I did for many years. I now just work with men. I've got an online university. I do workshops and seminars I write I'm gonna tell you more about that in a minute But when I was in therapy sessions with couples, I Would always start with the man, you know, you got to hit the man upside the head of the stick first If you hit the woman upside the head of the stick first, she'll leave therapy and never come back Okay, so I start with the man and I would talk to them about showing up being conscious being present Setting the tone and taking the lead having a plan having a life all the things we're talking about here, right? being a high-value man to to lead in that relationship and Almost without fail the women would turn to their husbands kind of you know go like that to the to their man and go I like this guy. He understands women and the guys are going you mean you want me to stand up to you, dear And the women are going of course I do I don't want to be married to a wimp I don't want to be with a guy. I can walk all over. I want a man All right When I when I talk about this when I fly on airplanes, you know, I'm sitting next to people and they often ask what I do You know that kind of thing. I flew First-class red eye to get here the other morning and I had a young 30-something woman next to me So what are you going to Orlando for I told her I'm speaking in a men's convention on boldness in the air of me, too Then they're curious. What are you talking about and I tell them And you know, I've never had a woman like go ballistic on me when I talk about what I teach men in fact what women usually tell me is one of two things they You know all the things that you know I talk about us setting the tone taking the lead being conscious being present having a great cake of a life Inviting a great woman to be the icing on the cake not the cake and Women go there's guys like that out there that know this stuff And they'll say can I come wait in your parking lot after your seminars to meet these guys Can you put up a website with these guys profiles that have taken your stuff? I'm not lying to you guys I'm not lying to you the women of the world Are hungry and thirsty for this stuff now I'm gonna also warn you guys Don't talk with the women you meet or the women in your life about red pill kind of like the robot fight club You know, don't talk about it. Don't talk about no more. Mr. Nice guy. They're not interested But it doesn't mean they won't follow when you lead when you apply these principles Everything you've heard this this weekend go live that stuff You don't have to talk about it to women. They're really not interested But they are interested in you living that way Okay, make sense The second thing when I went on my book tour 15 years ago reporters often asked me um, do you see a men's movement arising similar to the women's movement when feminism of the 60s and 70s and I There's a reason why I don't pick stocks or horses or gamble in Vegas. I'm shitty at it There's a reason why I don't even pick the line at Costco. Which one's gonna go the quickest I'm shitty at guessing this stuff But I said no, I don't really think so really for two reasons one as I don't believe there's one Unifying cause that's gonna bring men together worldwide and In the second reason I said I don't think it will happen is I believe I said at that time that I believe The parts about feminism that actually worked and changed and made a difference was because of men We was because good men recognized where there was indeed inequality or things needed to be changed And it was good men that changed the system All right, it is good men that changed the world To make it better And I said I don't know that you're gonna enlist a bunch of women to the cause of men for whatever men are wanting to Change now fast-forward 15 years later with hindsight. I Was wrong. I was right and I was wrong But now everywhere I go I see gatherings of men And whether it's in the body mint Energetic David Datafield whether it's it's Red Pill whether it's pickup whether it's men going to divorce groups Whether it's going to mankind project It doesn't matter and I've come to the conclusion that there is a worldwide men's movement Not around one thing. We're all coming at it coming to it from different directions But here is is what I believe is that we as men are looking for a tribe We grew up in tribes million and a half years of our evolution was spent in tribes and For about the last 10,000 years we we got when we got into an agrarian society started living more alone and And for the closer we get to where we are right now the more alone and isolated we men have gotten We're looking even if we don't know it. We're looking for a tribe We think maybe we're just looking for some help after going through a divorce Or we think maybe we're just looking for help to learn how to approach women and talk to them Or we think we're just looking for some help to do this but what we're looking for is tribe and initiation and That's what this is when I was listening Especially to Donovan this morning what he was talking about was masculine initiation when we show up and Create and turn ourselves into high value men To attract high value women and then continue to practice those principles that God is there After we found that high value woman to keep that high value woman interested that is our masculine Initiation now we have others but that is a powerful one and and and there's this this reciprocal You know process going on there as we raise our game We're gonna track better women and as we track better women and and we got this great woman in our life We got to keep raising our game and and hopefully that Let me ask a question Couple questions and again. I can't see everybody's hands. I can see a few how many men in here hate women I don't see one hand Okay, so we get to rule this out that this is a women haters convention. Okay, that's ruled out. Nobody raised their hand How many men here at times in their life or right now have had rage at women? Yeah, I have When I was writing drafts of no more Mr. Nice guy handing them out to people people gave me a lot of really good feedback and and one that kept hearing was Sounds like you have rage at women. I thought oh, that's bleeding through I Thought I but I thought of myself, but it's just run of the mill rage at women I thought everybody had rage at women every woman. I've ever known had rage at women, right? So But that doesn't service it's not going to move us forward So how many people? love women How many people would love to have an amazing woman blessing your life? How many of you are willing to show up in such a way to set the tone and take the lead to create the healthiest Relationship possible to bless both your life and her life. That's not like a plan Okay That's our masculine initiation. That is going to grow us the fuck up And we're going to keep growing the fuck up until the day we die The questions I get asked most like I said, I'm gonna talk with you guys about something kind of funky in just a minute Something that I haven't really put out there. I'm a very big scale that you guys are gonna be my guinea pigs But a couple questions that I typically get asked so I'll address them one question is well How did I write no more mr. Nice guy and the second question is what do I have going on now? Where am I going? When as I said when I started my own what I now call my nice guy recovery I didn't call it that when I first started I called it my wife told me I had to go to therapy to find out Why I was so passive aggressive with her and I'm thinking I'm going to therapy to find out why being such a nice guy Doesn't make her treat me better. Right. I was blue pill before blue pill existed And some of you around my age you probably you know you were too before there was anything out there That said hey, that shit doesn't work very well 247 trying to please a woman and make her happy that is what I was doing and She's looking back on it now. I was married 14 years, but she was borderline personality We went to shitloads of therapy couples group individual. I went to men's groups And she calculated one time that probably we'd spent a hundred thousand dollars on therapy together. I Now tell people that's probably about 85,000 too much Figure out the marriage wasn't gonna work She was the wrong woman that Sean was talking about but she was a big stick upside my head I'm here today talking to you because of her many of you are here today because of my ex-wife Elizabeth I'm grateful. I'm grateful for every big stick this hit me upside the head So I went to therapy to find out why my beat mean a nice guy didn't make her treat me better And didn't make her want to have more sex with me to appreciate me and all that Luckily, I got into a 12-step group where I started, you know, just being real and being honest and authentic I got into with good therapists who taught me about boundaries who taught me about making my needs a priority I had a woman therapist tell me I Mentioned about how my wife would drone on talking about shit and how bored I got and then I would try to either fix it Or change the subject or you know, and then she'd get pissed off And and this woman told me well, you don't have to listen What yes, you do That's what it's carved in stone when a woman that wants to talk about problems You have to listen to her talk about her problems until she's done talking about her problems and Said no, you don't that that was liberating I still remember that moment of a woman therapist saying I don't have to sit and listen to a woman talk about her problems Until she's done talking about her problems. In fact guys, I'm gonna give you a theorem I think this is a theorem axiom. I don't know rule of thumb There's a direct inverse Relationship between amount of the amount of time a man spends listening to a woman talk about her problems And the likelihood he's gonna get laid by her Now I'm a marriage therapist I'm all about communication, but I'm not all about sitting listen talk to a woman talk about her problems That's not me setting the tone and leading. It's loving to say hey, you want me to be your man, right? Sure, sure. Okay. I'm your man. Give me the guy version Give me the guy version. I want to hear but I don't I don't want the girl version Give me the guy version set the tone so I I started learning good stuff and then What I noticed in my couples counseling is that a lot of couples coming to me guys with their girlfriends or wives and The guys were saying the exact same thing. I've been saying and thinking I'm a nice guy I treat her well. I'm better than her ex. I'm raising her kids. I give her everything she wants I bought her the Ford Explorer, but it didn't have leather seats and she still wasn't happy I told my wife that my current wife that not too long ago And she just jokes about that all the time about the the the Ford Explorer, but didn't have leather seats Um, she gets it she gets it and so these guys are saying, you know, when's it gonna be my turn? It's never good enough. She's never happy. She never wants to have sex anymore I thought there's guys out there just like me who had the same paradigm the same road map that if I'm just a nice guy Just do it well enough give women everything they want to like me love me want to be with me want to have sex with me all the time Now Everybody in this room has already figured out that paradigm does not work It does not work But these other guys are just like me. So I started no more. Mr. Nice guy men's group We met every other Wednesday I just started writing giving stuff to people and the guys and their girlfriends and wives all said you need to write a book Here it is. You need to write a book. You need to go on oprah And um, well, I did write the book. I've never been on oprah But it took about six to seven years to to write the book another three years just to find a publisher That that would publish it. So that's how the book came about Yeah, I didn't set out to write a book. I just set out to just I was just writing stuff that I was figuring out as I went Because there wasn't anything out there back then That there wasn't even the internet Back then if it was I think you had to know code to get on the internet So nowadays man, we've got so many resources so many good things going on um And I'm thrilled every one of you is here and I'm going to echo The the demands and command you've been hearing Go live this stuff go practice this stuff not so you can get a woman not with no attachment to outcome Go live it because it's the right integrated authentic way to live your life Live your life on your terms you set the tone and take the lead One thing that I tell guys all the time is that a woman can't follow where a man doesn't lead And if you don't lead they'll jump into the driver's seat and take control is how they're wired All right, give them the choice. Give them the option Okay, so that's how I came to to write the book and it's why a lot of you are here and After sessions later on today I I welcome you guys coming up and talking to me. I love it It just feeds my soul to know that that I've contributed something that's making men's lives better and making the world a better place I mean, it just thrills me in my soul. Thank you for for everyone to be for that Second thing, what am I working on? I almost died about nine months ago About this time last year. I started noticing something wasn't right. It was subtle at first. I've been traveling a lot um Doing some conferences and workshops and seminars and and oddly enough what I noticed is that I I've done a workshop up in Edmonton Canada. I was watching a world series game in my hotel room afterwards We've gone to dinner after and I started eating a piece of cheesecake And I couldn't I couldn't get it in there's like no room for cheesecake that I mean that's like that's not possible I couldn't get it in. I just was so full nothing would go in That sounds weird, but then over the next few weeks. I got more and more started having stomach spasms stomach cramps Couldn't eat much if I did it wouldn't go down or I might vomit it up Couldn't shit just nothing was working and over a period of about three months into this last January of this year I lost over 30 pounds Just couldn't eat and I had no energy. I was taking two or three naps a day It was just it was just killing me And I didn't know what I went to doctors in Mexico went to doctors in the united states Got misdiagnosed undiagnosed Nobody could find what was wrong kind of the the best guess was I had some mexican bug that I needed to outlast and then Finally blessed blessed her heart of my wife. I mean she tried so many things to to try to find out what was wrong She went to pick up My stepson at a friend's house and told the mother. Oh, we want to have you guys over for dinner sometime But my husband has been sick and um, and she said oh i'm a doctor. What's wrong? She told her my symptoms. She said oh my husband's a gastroenterologist My wife says can can he get my husband in so I went in the next morning Looked at all my tests. He said i'm gonna run a tomography. This is digital x-ray Put me in this big donut and then that afternoon They said we think you've got a polyp or something in your small intestine once you come back tomorrow We're gonna put dye in your arm to another shot And then that afternoon he says you've got a a tumor blocking your small intestine And it's probably about to rupture. You need to have surgery now I'm thinking okay mexican doctor mexican hospital gonna cut me open Take out part of my small intestine Okay, let's do it I was totally at peace. It's like I'd surrendered. I I didn't know if this was going to kill me I didn't know if I was going to live the rest of my life. I over long in that emaciated state Okay, let's do it. Is it give me one day? You know, I had to make sure somebody knew what all my bank accounts were what all my passwords were You know where everything was stashed Luckily no porno stashes to erase And Went in had surgery woke up. I'm still under anesthesia looking at the ceiling and go I'm fucking alive And I'm back my mind was clear It's like I could see more vividly colors were brighter and I laid in my hospital bed that night Kind of rearranging my life All right, I don't know how much time I got left. By the way, you guys don't either I don't know how much time I got left. I joined a men's program that started right after that Went and did the mankind project a new warrior weekend. How many people have done that? Just a few of you wreck. Do you guys recommend it? Great initiation. I recommend it. Just look up a mankind project or new warrior adventure Uh, it's a great initiation for men. Um, I did that got in this men's group and really both of those processes focused on What is my mission? And mankind project the first question they asked me is I walked up to the door. What is your mission? Can you guys answer that question? Okay, you need to you need to I tell you what almost fucking dying Brings that into really clear, you know, you got to answer this question Okay, so to answer what am I doing? Where am I going? My impossible goal, which I actually believe I will achieve is to write 10 books in 10 years That's what I'm working on. Um, and I think if I'm still alive 10 years from now I'll probably have 10 more books. I want to write I've got a whiteboard in my office that has all the subjects of at least 10 12 books on it So that's what I'm working on just finished up a book on dating essentials that it is Uh, just all the materials from my old dating essentials courses that I've talked over 10 years And I'm now working on a book that has the working title of shut up and fuck me And that is that that's coming from real life experiences something we're going to talk about in just a little bit now If that is not enthusiastic consent I don't know what is And I've had more than one woman tell me that right would you just quit talking? Fuck me Do it do me now. Okay, so When I sent the proposal to my agent about a year ago And he's this old experience new york jew that believed in no more mr. Nice guy and he's Reaping nice royalty benefits percentages from that as well Um, he wrote back and said you just made my holiday season. I said I love the title for the book Um, so that's the working title shut up and fuck me. I haven't told my mother the title yet She she keeps pestering me to write another book She gets my mail and deposits my royalty checks and every time she puts like 13 grand in the bank She goes bobby you need to write another book. Yes. I know mom. I know mom So that's what I'm working on now Okay Weird stuff. You guys want to talk about weird stuff? Freaky stuff. This is freaky stuff. It really is. Um You guys want to be my guinea pigs? All right, you're up for it. Okay um I'll kind of use the the the kind of the launching point of of boldness in the era of me too As a way to get to this this freaky stuff um First of all, I want to tell you guys a silly story. You guys like silly stories Biblical silly story um For those of you that are not aware in a previous lifetime I was a minister in a fundamental denomination for eight years. I have two degrees in religion Grew up in the fundamental church. I'm not religious now As my mother reminded me about three weeks ago in a text message. Uh buddha did not die for my sins Um, I tried to explain mom. I'm not a christen and I'm not a buddhist either. Um, but anyway, it's a whole other story Moms are great. Moms are great um Okay, that just got me totally off subject silly story. All right God's walking through the cool of the Garden of Eden on the seventh day After creating the universe the earth man and woman in six days And as he walks through the garden adam and eve are resting in the shade of a fruit tree And um, he walks up to them and he says adam eve I've got two more gifts that I need to hand out one for each of you God said the first gift is the ability to pee standing up Adam jumps up. That's mine. I want that one. Okay adam you get to pee standing up Second gift is multiple orgasms Gentlemen, I hate it when people call me gentlemen, but gentlemen This silly story Contains both the subject of what I want to talk about and the moral of what I want to talk about the subject is Multiple orgasms and things along those lines the moral is And I think this is important that we get this the moral is Most of the issues we men have with women and sex Are historically of our own making I think this is important to get because until we can take accountability for what isn't working in our life Nothing's going to change Okay, so historically most of the problems we men have had with women and sex of our own making And it really isn't that the fundamental theme of red pill You want some to be different you got to do something different All right, we we get what we get what we get because that's what we settle for Okay, okay the freaky stuff Dr. Smith was talking this morning about evolutionary psychology and and like I said, he and I went out at hamburger last night And I ran this freaky stuff by him and I didn't even know that that was kind of his gig You know the the david bus and and the whole evolutionary psychology and this is not actually my field of study I'm just one of those kind of people that if something I see something, you know, I think Huh? Why is that? What's that about? How did this come to be? Any of the any of the rest of you like that? Yeah, you got these this wheel spinning all the time trying to figure shit out. Okay As as you yeah, I think everybody in this room is trying to figure shit out. All right So here's the thing I did a radio interview actually his podcast interview a couple weeks ago and the interview asked me He said do you think the influence of the me too movement is having an effect on men? Especially young men in terms of being bold Bold in terms of just how they live their life But especially in regards to women And I said, yeah, I expect that it is really true. In fact, I'm going to be talking about Something along those lines in just a couple weeks at this conference And my personal experience I was born in 1955. I'm 62 years old I became a teenager in the 60s and 70s and That that was you know the heyday of is that what we call it second wave feminism And and you know, it probably had some good messages in there You know, everybody deserves equal pay for equal jobs and equal opportunity But it was the noise That caught my attention and the noise was from the radical Manhating feminist part of that and I was only, you know, 15 16 years old And I'd already been raised by my mother to be different from my father. I mean, she told me that as a boy She's raising me to be different from my father. She's actually since apologized for that um I grew up in this fundamental church that you know sex is bad sinful and evil so save it for the one you love I'm not making that part up guys. I told you I'm gonna be honest with you You know and that I become a teenager and all of a sudden, you know, these female creatures look really interesting, right? Right, and um, I thought how am I gonna get one? I wasn't the quarterback. I'm a football team I didn't drive a Camaro. I wasn't rich wasn't great looking Kind of introverted and I thought I'll be their friends. I'll be the nice guy I'll be the guy that listens to them talk about chad All right, we all remember chad and you know how badly and and then This radical feminism came along and you know, I'm hearing stuff like every man is a rapist An erection is a sign of aggression And just you know all the vibe around that and I soaked that in I internalized it I thought okay. I developed some some pretty strong what I now call self limiting beliefs about sex women myself and the world And those beliefs primarily were women don't like sex Women think men who want sex are bad Women just aren't attracted to me Women just don't want to have sex with me And and those are my guiding beliefs as I then went out to interact with women And and those guiding beliefs led to my first two marriages that lasted 25 years together And neither woman I shouldn't have dated either woman more than three dates And I stayed with them for 25 years now When I got out of of my second marriage 15 years ago right at the time the book was being published I I'd done a lot of work on me. I'd grown a lot. Um I didn't know as much as I know now, but but I'd grown quite a bit And I I no longer was interacting with women the same way I no longer thought women hated sex and thought men were pervs if they wanted to have sex with them So quite a bit had changed and I got out there into the dating world and I made a conscious decision I didn't want to repeat what I already had And I'd already written my books. I already kind of had you know, I handle on a few things or at least Understood a few things and I decided I'm going to work at being a better picker and a better ender And by the way Being a bad picker when it comes to meeting women and dating is just part of the equation We're going to pick a lot of wrong women You don't know that till after you've spent a little time with them for a lot of them You know, I just love the things that that uh, dr. Smith talked about this morning for recognizing those wrong women Okay, but being a good ender can cover a multitude of sins for being a bad picker Keep that in mind I believe perhaps the number one key of all successful men In any area of life Is knowing how to be a good ender Is knowing when to cut your losses is knowing when to say this isn't going to work We're going to say this is crazy. I'm out of here. We got to practice being good enders Okay, so I went out and started practicing that so what happened is I started meeting women And I've never been into pickup and what I found out is I didn't have to be women started coming to me Um rich what what's the term that that he uses? um about the abundance uh Chasing excellence, but he has another one. I wrote it down on another piece of paper. I don't have it in front of me It'll come back to me that The abundance of something of choice Um spoiled by choice. I love that and you know what for the first time in my life I was I was spoiled by choice women were coming on to me They were hitting on me. They were sending me strong signals of interest They were propositioning me They were getting naked on first and second dates without me Even pushing for anything And I'm thinking what planet have I landed on? This is not the planet that I thought existed and now keep in mind. I was in my late 40s Balding graying Low tea I wasn't in the best shape. I was actually going through a bankruptcy at the time So it's not like I had you know all the things we think that turns women on You know organically like that and they were they were coming on to me now the big difference I think if I had to just say sum up the differences Number one. I challenged myself limiting beliefs I wasn't walking the planet thinking women didn't like sex number two I was bold. I was living life on my terms is fuck this. I'm getting divorced. I'm gonna live my life my way That's attractive to women And the third thing was I walked through open doors And I think that's actually one of the biggest Failings that a lot of guys have whether in any area of life is we don't walk through the open doors Let me ask you guys a question Whenever I go to men's programs like this, I watch I watch the men, but I watch the people around the men Have you guys noticed after being in here and you leave and go to a restaurant or you walk down the street or in the hotel lobby Have you noticed people checking you out? Has anybody noticed Okay, now if your self-limiting belief is oh It's like angry feminists. It's a gathering of men. We got to be careful. You're not going to see what I see What I see is that women are turned on by groups of energized men I see that whenever I do men's programs the other day I did a workshop in Seattle when we eat lunch in a restaurant 11 of us And and the waitress is coming by taking our orders and she asked the question They always ask Who are you guys? What are you about? I told her we're a group of men. We're it's a self-improvement workshop and blah, blah, blah And then she asked a little more and I told her about my book and she said oh, I need to get a copy of that for my boyfriend When I walked to the restaurant the other night for the group meal I was a little bit later than a bunch of you I was with a couple of other guys as we walked in Women at two different tables in the restaurant looked up saw us and pointed to the back where all the other men had gone Now interpret that however you want, but I interpret it They were paying attention to energized men walking by and it made a fucking impression on them I've seen it out here in the hotel lobby Two different women as I walk by they look up. I make eye contact. They maintain it. I hold it and walk on The people in this hotel are fucking energized by your presence here Now this is a message that I think a lot of times we men don't get and don't realize And but this is what all the messages are about when you create this kind of energetic Lifestyle by bonding with men doing your work being bold women notice that and it fucking turns them on Okay, the weird freaky stuff that clock says I've got 20 minutes left Freaky and I'll give you time to Q&A the freaky stuff. I got out there. I'm spoiled by choice Women are wanting me first time in my life and it's like this is crazy Okay, here's a I want to throw this out to you guys and it may sound crazy Some of you may have already figured this out. I think some of you have when I shared it with with Sean last night at dinner Um, hey, I said you see any holes in it. He goes. No, not that I see now Maybe he's had time to think about it and he sees some holes But think about this for a minute because this goes against most of our self-limiting beliefs about women It goes against what evolutionary psychology is telling us but it seems to be true So I want to share it with you. There's a really unique thing about females of the human race They as far as I can tell are one of maybe two maybe three Species of all animals reptiles birds fish That have sex out of season That have sex for reasons other than procreation Now, I don't know about you guys But that boggles my mind Every other fucking living thing on this planet only mates when it is mating for procreation Females of the human race fuck for fun and pleasure Not just because they're in estrus or they're ovulating or or they're wanting to procreate Now that blows me away. What blows me away is that's not talked about more I'm sure it's been studied, but I just don't come across a lot about it. So let me expand on this. Okay Women are wired to fuck for fun I believe women are wired to have more sex More often with more partners and enjoy it more than a man Now a lot a lot of guys go. Oh, that's not my experience. You know, I'm the one wanting sex all the time not her, right? I've been there 14 years of marriage. We'd go every six months without sex and we had it. It was all on her terms Women are wired to have more sex more often with more partners and enjoy it more than men I believe women get more physical pleasure out of sex than we men do We get our dick release and okay. We're done. No, they get full body Oh, they well, I don't think we can even conceive of what a woman Really experiences when she is fucked. Well, okay. That's our job guys by the way Women can climax and do it all over again Can you some of you 18 year olds maybe A 62 year olds. No, I can't even remember a day that might have happened Women can fuck for hours average guy Five ten minutes We're good Okay Women go back to the multiple orgasms. Women can have multiple multiple multiple orgasms men Well, I know you can go get trained on having multiple orgasms and having Orgasms without release blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're wired to do this shit You know, we got to take courses and work hard to learn how to have kind of a multiple orgasm The average woman has four five or six trigger points on her body that can simulate orgasm How many you guys got You know one you touch it a lot. No your eyes will not Your eyes won't do it. I remember psychology one-on-one. I went to a christian college First aid psychology one-on-one class the professor holds up a 20 dollar bill and he said I will give 20 dollars to any man That can will himself to have an erection Nobody collected that 20 dollar bill I've known women who could will themselves to have orgasms Women can build their orgasms. They can extend them. They can do all kinds of shit. We come and we're done and go to sleep They're wired very differently than us I've known women. I've been with women just licking their nipples They'd climax Right, they're wired so amazingly different and and even as I'm talking about this stuff I'm thinking this is not my the view I've had of women for the majority of my life But it is it's true. All right now Another question Going back to our self-limiting beliefs if women don't seem to like sex as many of us believe or they think men Who want sex are bad Why have every religion every major religion in the western world Islam Judaism and christianity works so hard to repress Female sexuality if they don't like to fuck Why is there such an emphasis on virginity? Why do we stone them if they fuck around? I know what you're thinking. I'm gonna get to it in a minute Why do we stone them if they fuck around? Why do we put scarlet letters on their forehead? Why do they we drape them in burkas from head to toe so men will not be turned on by them Why has slut-shaming existed for so long now? Most of these I'm gonna blame on men The slut-shaming I'm gonna put that at the feet of women Um, most men if you hear a woman's a slut, we think cool one meter But you know You guys know what I'm talking about. You're you're with a woman another woman walks by tight short stuff. Maybe, you know Fake boobs and and you know the woman your width goes. They're fake. You know that And you go, yeah What's your point? Yeah, I still like looking at them, but they're fake. She's a cheater Yeah, what's your point right so it is the women that pile on with the slut-shaming now I'm gonna get back. I'm gonna get to the costly sex thing in a minute that that that dr. Smith brought up Here's a few proofs for those of you who were just your mind's going. No, I just I just I just won't come in. It's like the red pill, right? By the way, I had this experience when I was laying my clothes out this afternoon for for my talk I put my clothes on the bed. I thought I think I'll take a decongestant before I go on So I pulled out a suit of fed Tossed it on my shirt on the bed and looked over and what was on my shirt A red pill Blew my fucking mind. Okay If women didn't like sex, why is a shitty book like 50 shades of gray sold 95 million copies? I'm gonna reference dr. Smith again. He was talking about the count of Monte Cristo this morning. How many people have read that book? It should be required reading People recommended it to me. So I Actually set out and I was reading on my Kindle 50 shades of gray and the count of Monte Cristo at the same time And I would read one chapter of one one chapter the other one chapter one one chapter the other I couldn't wait to get through the chapters of 50 shades of gray because it is sucky writing And it's not even titillating just to get back to the count of Monte Cristo It's that good of a book, isn't it those either read it good book. Okay, but why is it sold 95 million copies of women don't like sex? This is mid-october. There's a holiday coming soon at the end of this month. What's the holiday? Halloween all right What yeah, I already hear it. What are 85 percent of the women going to dress up as for at the halloween parties? Slut slutty nurse slutty doctor slutty cop slutty fireman slutty pilot slutty slut, you know But they don't like sex is costly for them Something's wrong. Okay. Okay. Here's the clincher If you don't believe me I'm gonna put you in a hotel room in this hotel And you get to pick the 10 sexiest women That that you can imagine put in an order for 10 sexy women That just you know just turn you on make make you make you drool make your tongue hang out And you have to ejaculate In these 10 women How long is it going to take you about 10 days? I'm that's that's the camp I'm in as well You know the first three I could probably get done in a weekend after that they're all going to be fucking work Right and and each one is going to take about two to three days more before I want so some of the you younger guys 10 10 the hottest women how long it's gonna take you? No, that's a lie That's a lie Three to five that you think you can do that because maybe you jerk off enough and you think I can do it I can do it. No, you can't Maybe if you're young three days Guys like me Two weeks Okay All right Put a woman in a hotel room and tell her she got to pick 10 of the sexiest men that she can pick This is a woman who's okay. We like sex, right? And how long is it going to take her to come 10 times with those 10 men? That's a little over optimistic Hour two is is realistic hour two To come 10 times. Okay, and they're not wired different than us Okay, I want to do q and a so I'm gonna have to pull this together pretty quick um Okay, I got a couple theories. All right, because we think okay, but but evolutionary psychology says, um, Women have to be choosy sex is costly. They only have so many eggs, you know, they could die in childbirth They got to raise the kids blah blah blah blah blah. They only got to pick the alphas the good genes the provider protector Have you noticed women pick shitty men to have sex with? I don't buy in that whole theory that they're fucking choosy They pick bad men they pick men in prison. They pick drug addicts to have sex with they're not fucking choosy So here's my theory. I think evolutionary psychologists have been studying the wrong group And not just fruit flies. They're the wrong group for a million and a half years We had a tribal existence And in that tribal existence everything was communal everything was shared and there's good evidence. So was the sex That every man and woman had access This is the reason why we're not wired for monogamy is why long term Exclusive monogamous relationships are so hard why they tend to not work. It's not in our DNA And my belief is is where we get it wrong as we start studying the last 10,000 years There's an ownership model where men started growing stuff owning stuff their trees or cows their wives their kids And all of a sudden we had to start regulating female sexuality We're studying the wrong group My belief is that what's really wired deeply into women is to want to be fucked often And well by a good man I really believe that okay, this is our job by the way so My two theories is why does that not look like it nowadays? Why is that not our experience? I think number one is our self-limiting beliefs Number two, we're not bold the women in the tribe hung out with hunters and warriors Men that got shit done That is the most powerful aphrodisiac for women that boldness that strength that confidence I'm not talking about bodybuilders. My wife points out women who are coming on to me all the time I used to just think because she's a jealous Latina and I started actually looking she's right Women usually my wife's 22 years younger than me Most the women that that are coming on to me are 30 years younger than me And I'm not a specimen Okay, but I do live life on my terms. I tell guys if you interact with a woman with confidence She has experienced the exact same brain chemicals That you would experience if she lifted her shirt and showed you her tits That is the truth They don't you don't have to think about you see tits. Do you have to think do I like them? Don't want to look at them It's fucking wired into you The same is true for the women when they see boldness and confidence warriors hunters It turns them on it's wired into them So as as Don was talking if you got if you look like a basketball If you're sitting in your mother's basement playing world of warcraft for hours If you don't interact if you have no social skills There's nothing to turn the women on and you think well women are bitches because they don't like me No, we are They want to be fucked Okay. All right. So my second theory is is why don't we see this nowadays? My theory is is primarily is because I think when women were being fucked by the tribe One reason they make so much noise is because they're being fucked. Well, one guy gets done rolls off You know tags out and another man comes in Mother nature loves lots of cocks and lots of vaginas That is the number one morality of mother nature Penises in vaginas lots of them Okay. Okay. We we pass forward, you know, we're in this You know agrarian society, you know, we got our one wife and you know She she she wants that variety of the tribe and we're having we can't our male ego gets in the way We're kind of moped sexually women or sexual ferrari's and like, you know We got to put a lid on their sexuality because I think it triggered our ego And it triggered our fear that they're going to go fuck around on us but I think another thing that came in Is that if you fuck a woman well, tell me if you've had this experience By the way, every woman I've had sex with Since my divorce 15 years ago has wanted more sex than me And that that's actually triggered anxiety in me. I found myself avoiding sex. Does that make any logical sense? How many have had that experience that you're with a woman who wants to fuck so often you're thinking No, not tonight. I just want to get some sleep My wife would be happy to fuck me two to three times a day and we often do If I don't fuck her for a day or two, she thinks I'm cheating on her because I haven't fucked her in a day She's told me, you know, I will never tell you no for sex Even if I'm angry at you she says because I'm never angry at your cock Now you think I've died and gone to heaven there are times I just I'm away from home for two weeks right now I'm just loving every moment I can sleep alone, you know, but It it it overwhelms us So I think the other reason we men have tried to repress the female sexuality is we can't get any shit done When the woman's in that sexual cloud of desire that feminine cloud of desire wanting it all the time So I think we've also unconsciously worked to shut it down so we can just go get shit done Right so we can go kill the bee so we can go hang out with our bros so we can you know Just relax Okay I'm gonna wrap it up with there. I could I mean I got so much more stuff, but I I'm I'm about out of time and I want to give some Q&A I think we have about five to six minutes before we got the hard stop So I'm gonna just stop with that I've just put out some some stuff with you. Like I said, you're my guinea pigs and feel free to approach me later You know share me your point of views So thank you for being my guinea pigs for listening and go out and be fucking bold. Okay All right, who we got any questions We got about Five eight minutes for questions. Uh, yeah, I have a question. Uh, do you have any actual stats on that now? I get it that women love sex Uh, like sexual partners because it would seem then that the women would have a lot of sexual partners in today's day If they're very sexy every speaker this weekend talked about women cheating Okay, that's my stats It's real life experience women tend to want lots of sexual partners are wired for it Now they've also been bought been bought they have been forced into a costly system So where it is costly for them to do that They're told that they're sluts if they want to have sex they're they're shamed if they become a single mom They have shame attached there. It really has become costly in modern day for women to have sex But do I have statistics on what that women want to fuck a lot of men? No, I've experienced Yeah, if you guys ask me like intellectual type questions like about statistics and studies and research I'm going to tell you next ask ask me a question about life and applying this shit. Okay Uh question comment, uh, you mentioned the mankind project a couple times during your speech. I live in austin The mankind project is Completely blue pill there Okay, that's not my subject. Yeah, different different question. Um, what can we do to start a more red pill? That's your observation of blue pill. I mean of mankind. It wasn't my observation of it Do they preach red pill philosophy not going to know of and is every group different? Probably all I'm talking about is guys go find a tribe find ways to connect with men Well, you find there's faults with this gathering. There's gonna be faults with every gathering. Okay gather with men anyway Okay Over here. Hi. How are you? Thank you very much. Uh, you mentioned therapy and you were a therapist and I talked about it earlier As well Is there and I think sometimes in this sort of corner, uh talk therapy for men gets poo pooed a little bit Uh, do you have any advice for people who actually need to seek therapy? How would you coach them in trying to identify and meet up with somebody that was going to give them good results? Well, especially guys will ask me that question who have read my book and I would say Number one talk to other men and find out if they anybody knows of other resources um You it can be kind of a stab in the dark, but take my book with you Ask the the Counselor therapists if they're willing to read it because you need assistance with that But here's the deal Or go to my website. I've got I've got certified counselors and therapists that that have trained with me And even if they can't work with you, they can point you in the direction they can my website. Just dr. Glover.com um So yeah Like I said people say she'd go to a man or a woman. I I got good therapy from a woman She liked men. She was supportive of men and you know for a guy that thought women hated men That was good therapy for me Okay, another question. Okay. Thank you, dr. Glover How would you advise a lot of the younger men in the room? Regarding broaching a lot of the principles we've been talking about here with our mostly blue pill fathers with our blue pill fathers chew You know somebody asks a similar question that's worrying about with your blue pill friends Um, give them my book, you know, give them rational mail say dad. I've been reading this stuff Would you like to read it? You know, it's I get the same questions like women will ask me Well, how should I broach the subject of nice guy stuff with my my my husband or boyfriend? See just give them the fucking book. This isn't rocket science, right? Just put it in front of people and they'll respond to it or they won't But let go of all attachment to outcome. Don't try to get anybody to buy into your belief system All right, just live it living it. It's just the most powerful thing you can do. Thank you Dr. Glover, let's give it up Thank you George Bruno with the 21 report in Orlando, florida And we're talking with dr. Robert Glover He was just whisked off stage and now we're going to talk to him about his message for men Welcome Good to be here, george. What is your impression of the 21 convention here so far? You've been around. It's it's blown me away. I've been to Lots of men's programs man to have several hundred men in one place First-class production the speakers Man, I'm sitting there listening to them and I'm one of the speakers. I'm going these guys are good Yeah, and and I'm just watching the men just soak it up and they're alive and they're energized It's I I had no idea what to expect coming here. Yeah, and it's just blown me away Yeah, it's it's learning by immersion. There's a lot going on here, right? A lot of moving parts and and you guys have been apparently practicing this every year and this year It seems to have really gone to another level. It gets better and better every year. Yeah I When I was in graduate school, someone said to me once Like I complained that there was 13 textbooks for one class and I said how the hell can I Possibly do this reading and they said it's the european method Of education and I said what's that and they said if you throw enough shit against the wall Something's gonna stick. Yeah, so that's what I feel this conference is like. They're just putting so much out there But if one or two things stick With the attendees It was worth it because there is a lot of information. It's rapid fire just all day long It is and I've I've got my notebook and with every speaker I've written down about two or three lines under each of the speakers of just Just the key prime stuff that I got that's good. That's good. You gotta remember that Yeah, and and even referenced several of them in my talk as well today just I'm a guy and and I I live this stuff. This isn't just academic. It isn't just a book I wrote It's my life. I'm married. I have kids stepkids I have a job. I'm in the world. Yeah, and this stuff's real life stuff And uh, there's a lot of stuff sticking to the wall. Yeah I've heard it said I'm not sure who actually coined the phrase but the 21 convention and this movement is Nothing but men sharing notes Good way to put it. I like that. That's what I was doing just making notes and deciding How many of these notes can I share with them in an hour? You know a year from now or two years from now someone's going to approach you They will have seen you live here. They will have seen this interview listen to your podcast And a change is going to have been made in their life And they're going to say it's because of you The ripple effect of your data of your information of your inspiration And of course all of our messages are a combination of education data facts And inspiration. How do you inspire men? The message that I get back from men is that I'm real. I'm authentic now I would not have been accused of that 30 years ago. I hit everything. I was a people pleaser. I was a nice guy And um, I think that's the greatest compliment people give me is that that Dr. Glover you're real. You're authentic. You tell the truth. You live this stuff. You talk about your struggles I'm I'm bumbling my way through life like everybody else And um, I try to learn as I go and that's what I share And I think people really appreciate that it's not like I'm some academic that read it in a book or I've figured it all out And I've got it all, you know, my life is just perfect I still work at this stuff every day. Yeah, and and I think people men especially like knowing You know this guy's practicing what he preaches. He doesn't get it perfect But when he falls down he gets up and try something new What does it mean your book is titled no more mr. Nice guy Is there a nice guy syndrome or a nice guy profile? Well, I do talk about the nice guy syndrome in the book and and basically Just the short version of a nice guy Is he's internalized beliefs at a very young age usually in childhood usually three four five months old This stuff begins internalizing a belief. There's something wrong with me. I'm not okay. Just as I am I have to become what I think other people want me to be to be approved of to get loved to get my needs met And I have to hide the things about me that might trigger a negative reaction in other people Of course, this is usually parents at a young age And the most common things that nice guys hide is their needs and their sexuality And so if you imagine then growing up to be an adult Trying to do whatever it takes to get the approval of everybody around you and hiding everything about you That might trigger a negative reaction It leads to a very frustrating lifestyle and that in a nutshell is nice guy syndrome What are the downfalls of being a nice guy? Well, the first chapter in the book is all about that Nice guys actually miss misnomer nice guys are often anything but nice Even though we think and I always thought i'm a nice guy I'm one of the nicest people you ever wanted me. Why why wouldn't everybody like me? Why wouldn't everybody want to be you know the same? But because a nice guy is not fundamentally authentic. He's not being himself He's fundamentally a lie. He's going he's lying about everything if he's trying to become You know if I try to become what you want me to be so you approve of me I'm lying. You know if I try to become what you want me to be I'm lying There's no truth there. You can't count on anything Now beyond the fact that we're not authentic And everything we do in a sense is a lie because we're trying to get approval We're hiding things the other part is is because we're not good at getting our needs met We're not good at letting people give to us. We're not good at surrounding ourselves with people and organizations that can give to us We tend to build up a lot of resentment It's like I give all this and I don't get much back in return that resentment builds And and we kind of start ruminating about it and then it either comes out as passive aggressive behavior Which is indirect anger maybe a put down a jab I'll say i'm going to do it and I don't follow through on it or the other It's what I call a victim puke where he just builds and it builds and it builds until we just blow up and you know We just say everything that's been ruminating in our brain. It's usually hurtful and damaging to everybody involved So these are ways that nice guys tend to not be nice My my ex-wife was married to and I wrote the book used to say I'd rather be with an asshole because at least the asshole I know he's going to treat me bad all the time You treat me well treat me well and everybody thinks you're an amazing guy But then you do this thing to stab me in the back or hurt me or you blow up at me And I didn't even know you you were even bothered by that until you blow up six months after the fact So those are some of the ways that nice guys unfortunately are not always so nice very interesting I worked for many years with Top models many who have become gray silver and white hair models many of the faces that you would recognize But for years they would color their hair until the point where they ditched the dye And when you ask them why they stopped coloring their hair One of the answers that was common right across the board. It's almost as if they were sharing notes. They would say I wanted to find my authentic self. So for decades when they were Coloring their hair. They were feeling not authentic. You mentioned being an authentic man How is a man How does a man become authentic and Is there peace and authenticity? Is there peace in it? Yes. Um and there's turmoil I've got a tattoo on my arm of jesus nailed you across He was authentic. So they say and he still got nailed you across. So, you know, it can attract stuff. Yeah, um The term from psychology would be differentiation When a person is differentiated, they're they're authentic and I tell people I tell guys I work with being differentiated Has two parts to it. The first part is asking yourself. What do I want? What feels right to me? What am I going to do? And and you've got to ask yourself that most of the time we just we're you know, we're lemmings We go along with the crowd we do what we think's expected of us But to be able to ask yourself, what do I want? What feels right to me? That's the first step of being differentiated The second step is then following through on that and proceeding Even if you get flack from outside mom dad friends society church culture Or the buzz inside your head that's oh, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna get in trouble. I'm gonna be disliked I'm gonna lose my job. I'm gonna lose my wife. So the differentiation to be authentic You've got to be able to ask yourself. What's right for me? And then number two you got to follow through on that Is there peace in that? Yeah, because you're not all the time guessing and trying to figure things out and covering this lie And trying to think of you know, how do I need to be with this person and blah blah blah And as I said, it can track some negative attention as well It always happens every great man who's ever lived who was authentic and integrated and differentiated Also caught flack. It just comes with the territory. Hmm Let me ask you this what is the prescription For this nice guy syndrome for overcoming it working through it or what causes it Getting rid of it overcoming it being healed from it. Okay. Good question. I I've told people for years I'm a recovering nice guy and I'm still working at it. I I got married again two years ago It's my third marriage And I thought I'd worked through a lot of the stuff that tends to come up for me in relationship And then with a new person with new personalities and their stuff I got triggered into some of my nice guy patterns all over again of being too much of a pleaser and a problem Solver and avoiding conflict. I I watched it come up and I thought man It's like I need to go read my book all over again And um, so I I went out and got a men's coach I joined a men's group the stuff that I prescribe in the book is don't try to do this alone and It's like we're gonna work on this stuff to the day we die Now things get better better better. My life's amazing. I love my life I I couldn't have I could not have had the life I have now 30 years ago It would not have been possible because I live my life on my terms Yeah, I tell people I live in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I have a beautiful home. It's got a swimming pool I've got a beautiful wife. She's 22 years younger than me. She wants to have sex all the time And guys will say you're so lucky and I'll go no no luck involved This was hard work. This was a conscious process Now it's not like that was my dream to create all of that But it is what has come to me by doing the work of living authentically With differentiation being honest making my needs a priority having good boundaries and just living a life of passion There have been common themes all week long do the work be the best version of yourself make a dent in the universe How can a man be the best version? of himself I think the number one prescription I'd give a man to answer that question Is go connect with other men who have the same philosophy who are working on and it doesn't even matter I gave during my speech. I gave a few different suggestions of where you could find men's programs. They're different. They have different philosophies But they're about men wanting to evolve. That's not about becoming a different person And it's really not even about becoming a better person. It's about becoming the best you Right to to to live up to your capabilities your potential and I'm 62 years old and I'm still challenging myself myself I've I've got a commitment a goal to write 10 books in 10 years And I mean at 62 my dad retired at 55 He wasn't interested in being his best self. He was just interested in okay. I've done that for 30 years. I'm done I don't know where I'm gonna be in 20 years, but I think it'll still be a pretty interesting life Who is your ideal client or ideal subscriber follower? Fan, who do you speak to the most? Well, I don't know if I've ever been asked exactly that question It really is people and and I've heard this a lot at this convention, especially When people find the red pill material usually they've had trauma Something's happened now I find that the men that tend to come to me either they find my book or You know they come to a group or a workshop It's usually There they're at some point of frustration often in relationship either they they can't get a girlfriend They don't know how to be with women how to get a woman to be with them Maybe they've just had a breakup a girlfriend the end of a marriage or they're out there maybe Maybe in the 40s and 50s out there in the dating world all over again So it's funny that most of the time it is around relationship one way or another women drive us crazy We're still trying to figure them out But that's why I said don't try to figure them out set the tone and lead and see if they follow So for me that I think the ideal guy is one who recognizes the tools in my toolbox have not been sufficient I've I've tried I tried to follow the rules I you know I followed the prescriptions of my family or my church or my culture and it's just isn't working And they're ready for something else. They're ready to have new tools added to their toolboxes They're ready to be challenged. They're ready to get out of their comfort zone They're and for me again, I'll say it again It's that willingness to connect with other men and I find that if we can connect with men We our ancestors our human race evolved in tribes and now we're also isolated And and I spoke on that this afternoon. We're looking for tribes So find tribe connect with men and then let those men challenge you as you challenge them Those are the guys I love working with I used to say I was an expert at parenting Until I had kids And that challenged everything and then I found out that I was winging it And then I had a moment And I don't know when that was where I took some men's organizations called the father wound Guys typically have something that they hold against their father And then that gets erased when you have this aha moment of Holy crap. My dad was winging it too. And then all of a sudden We forgive our fathers and at that moment he goes from father To friend and the relationship changes. Can you speak on that? I had that experience as well My mother raised my brother and I to be different from our father that she stayed married to him until he passed away about nine years ago And she's since apologized for that that that was not a healthy thing to do to her sons to say, you know You need to be different from your dad because he's he's angry and he's selfish and he's self-centered and he doesn't treat me well and I I bought into her view of my dad. Now. My dad had problems. He had some kind of mood disorder He could be up and down. He could be in a bad mood for weeks But i'm also really grateful for my dad. He took me fishing. We went camping He he since I was a kid one of my earliest memories is like five years old My first hardball bat and hardball him pitching to me in the front yard and me hitting it through my parents bedroom window So he came to all my ball practices. He was encouraging of that And so he had his flaws. He was winging it He was the baby of his family. His oldest brother was 20 years younger than older than him So he had no guidebook and I went through a stage of being Hurt and resentful of both my parents. I didn't talk to my mom and dad for 15 years And after a period of time It's funny. I read an article About baseball is the beginning of the baseball season and there's like some articles in the local paper And my dad taught me to play baseball took me to baseball games And I thought I've loved baseball all my life and I wrote him a letter I don't know if it's an email or a letter. I can't remember now. It's been about 10 years ago or more And I just thanked him. I said dad. I just want to let you know I'm grateful for these things you gave my life. They blessed my life In about six months later, he got back in touch with me and he only lived like 20 minutes away from me And and he and I started getting together about once or twice a year really not very often We'd go have coffee have donut we'd talk and I came to the conclusion and this was so liberating to realize He was a flawed broken human being He was operating at his peak level and this was this was all like You know was going to get from him. This was who he was and it's like I just made peace with that That okay, he wasn't perfect. Um, he was operating at his own peak level Okay And and there's something about forgiving your dad's that helps you forgive yourself as well And unless you say okay, I can be a flawed male as well I don't have to be perfect don't have to get it right Don't have to be different from dad or different from all the other men out there So that was liberating for me to just have peace and then he had a stroke and passed away about two or three years after I'd begun that As in his hospital room his hospice room every day for about two weeks And I'd kiss him on the cheek. I mean he was in a coma. I just say thank you dad I just thank him. Yeah Emotions coming up about that. Yeah. Yeah, it was a blessing to have made that peace and be grateful for everything he'd given me Better late than never. Yeah. Can you imagine living life and not having Been able to do that with your father. I'm so grateful. Yeah that that I reached out and said thank you dad for this That's powerful and then We we we had whatever we could have. Yeah, you know, I said we reached the limits of what he was capable of And to be there at his bedside every day and with you know with my mom watching him die and just being grateful Talking with hundreds of men in my career I've noticed this one thing everyone changes doesn't matter who they are what level of education they are When they start talking about their father Their face changes everything changes when we talk about our dads. Yeah, yeah Even when I interview people about their dads my face changes and and things change I I feel it. I can feel just you know the wetness in my eye coming up And he was a flawed imperfect. I spoke at his memorial I was the only one of four kids that spoke The the first words I said is that at best my father could be difficult Everybody said amen. Yeah, none of my siblings wanted to speak. Yeah, but I was at peace with it and that felt good That's neat. That's neat George Bruno from the 21 report talking with Dr. Robert Glover. How can people find you? Easy enough my website's dr. Glover.com. That's dr G l o v e r dot com And if they just want to google robert glover or google no more mr. Nice guy I've got the top several spots on both of those pages. So easy enough. Thank you very much. We appreciate it Thank you, george. It was great. What was your experience so far with the 21 convention? Oh, I was dead. I was dead professional all across the board really good energy with a lot of people and uh, I just like this is very positive positive direction this George, this is this has been a first-class event. It's fantastic. You guys run a really tight ship I've been to a lot of conventions over the course of my business career And I can tell when things are well run and when things aren't and this is a very well run operation I was very impressed. It's pretty incredible to see where anthony's brought it Especially from last year which is my first year here to see the the upgrades he's made. It's been incredible I've got my notebook and with every speaker. I've written down about two or three lines Under each of the speakers of just just the key prime stuff that I got. That's good. That's great. It's very surreal, man I'm really enjoying it. I'm happy to live in such an era Where such a thing like this is possible I have never seen a group of guys like this a group of 200 men Were focused squared away and working on their values just never met a bigger group of wonderful guys It's kind of neat because I've been to a fair amount of conventions in my day But you never see one where the guy's like uh here you can just see ed latimore talking to tanner about boxing Yeah, you just sit down and then you tell your boxing experiences. Everybody's kind of pinging off each other. It's nice It has been fantastic And it's been four days of guys all on the same page working the same direction fascinating meaning some of the people Hearing their stories. Yep. You got people traveling from other parts of the world to come here just to see Yeah, some of the speakers. That's amazing. I think it's impressive. Everybody here is very serious. Yeah, they're taking it, you know, close to their heart What a great convention. Thanks, george