 Hey, Tony Gaskins here now y'all got to forgive my lighting forgive my lighting and I'm On the road with the family with the family right now and got us a showcase in Palm Springs, California For soccer, but I want to pop in because I've been shooting some videos and It's been some heavy topics, you know, it's been some heavy topics and we we're going in We're going in and what you got to remember my sound is not always gonna be right. My lighting is not always gonna be right So at the end of the day and I'm gonna tell y'all something too That's a problem with us now We want everything easy. We want everything convenient the same thing That has non blessed tribe members Meaning these these are individuals who do not pay to support the channel meaning The channel is 100% free to them the blessed tribe members paying from Two dollars and something the three dollars and something a month or if you in the blessed business tribe They they pan 10 to 12 dollars a month and so That's a lot. That's a lot of money To be given every single month to support the channel. So that's why I take their Suggestions to heart because if you don't spend your money and and That withdrawal come out and the patreon supporters patreon is from five dollars to fifty dollars a month patreon supporters So that's why I take their suggestions to heart because they investing in the channel But I've been getting all these comments from people who not in either blessed tribe and who not in Not a patreon or supporters saying oh Tony I don't like the sound your sound wasn't good. You're lighting one good. It's like listen close your eyes Close your eyes close ears then But see that's also a lesson Because that's part of our problem We want everything so easy. That's why we can't make relationships work Because somebody passed gas we ready to get a divorce Somebody to get on our nerves somebody to do a pet peeve. We better get a divorce Like I'm going on 16 years of marriage and my wife get on my nerves sometimes I get on her nerves sometimes The day I was putting up the luggage. I left her luggage. It was miscommunication I didn't know she had a luggage. I didn't see it So I had to send the driver back to the house and send him inside of my house That's a huge risk to get her luggage and She was mad by that got a little you know she was in a little feeling she got over it once the bag got back there and stuff and She liked to play around, you know, she liked to play a lot But what that tells me if my wife playing with you she love you she happy like if she's playing jokes on you She pranking you she giving you a wedgie Like she be doing me that means she happy and she love you and so What happened is I'm getting text messages in and so hopefully everything good Because my driver he driving for one of my Clients right now and I made a connection so they text and I'm hoping everything good Oh Lord come on now you texted me if I check the text it's gonna cut off the whole video See how you be working and you have stuff going on And maybe if he called I know Y'all forgive me now y'all forgive me and so listen to me so people So think about this. I want you to think about this human nature If people are getting something for free and have the audacity to complain Imagine How much a person gonna complain in a relationship when they giving a body to somebody They giving a time to somebody they giving a heart and they energy to somebody and It's like when I post a video, don't you think I know the sound bad? I could hear the video Don't you think I know the lighting bad? I could see the video But I got to post what I got to post because I don't know how long God gonna give me and I can't wait to every Light is green before I leave the house I got to do the work regardless of what it looked like and you just got to get the message If you got to turn it all the way up and then turn it down when the ads come on Or if you just need to close your eyes, but it's also to Don't worry about the light. Don't worry about seeing my eyes Don't worry about my facial expressions get the message get the message Don't worry about looking at me. Don't worry about hearing it crystal clear. Get the message and This is gonna teach you a lesson in life is Finish the job meaning when you get in relationship get the message So listen to me From what I was talking about on them heavy videos So a lot of women that Want to hear me say give up on black men give up on black men. I'm gonna tell you something I'm a black man. Somebody say oh, I'm biased. No, I'm very real I'm very real on the first one to tell you that the state of men is trash right now And that we trash but one thing that that we acting like trash and that we immature and we need to do I'm the first one to tell you that but at the end of the day. I also understand we human Every human is flawed ain't nobody finna be Perfect you so you could go to white you could go to Asia you could go to Hispanic and you gonna have your own set of problems You gonna have your own set of problems. It's just gonna be it's gonna be a different set of problems But it ain't gonna make you no happier You ain't gonna be no happier If you can't be happy With somebody that look like you Talk like you come from where you come from you ain't gonna be happy with somebody who come from the whole other side of the aisle whole different culture So and if you could be happy with somebody of another culture Then I guarantee you you could be happy with somebody of your culture Because this this the problem Love is not created. I mean love is not found love is created People think that it's so many women that thing and men that thing I'm gonna meet this person and love just gonna happen. It's gonna be magical We're gonna be a match made in heaven Everything just gonna come together. It's just gonna be easy or not easy But if it's if it's real it's gonna work or it just supposed to work. No You have to make it work. That's why I titled my book make it work You have to make it work ain't nothing just gonna work And so here's the thing. I'm gonna give you the secret with black men the only thing with black men is You have to communicate But you have to communicate Effectively and you got to communicate based on the person You can't hammer a screw You screw a screw and you can't screw a nail You hammer a nail So you don't put a square in a round hole and you don't put no Circle in a square So here's the thing women coming in with black men and And you're not learning your man and Therefore he's not learning you y'all ain't learning each other You bringing your trauma you bringing your pain you bringing your past you bringing your upbringing and you just Applying it to this person like it's just supposed to fit and that's not how that works You got to learn each other You got to learn each other. You got to be able so with my wife. I learn I've learned that She's sensitive in the sense of She don't like any critique. She don't like any correction She don't like it But anything she hears that she need to do or that you want her to do or that you need from her She'll do it immediately and she'll do it to a tee So I and I've learned I don't have to be harsh with her. I don't have to yell at her I don't have to curse at her My wife is not gonna yell. She's not gonna fight. She's not gonna curse take and turn it down one notch She's not gonna yell fuss and fighting curse so I could just be I could talk to her just like I'm talking right now and She gonna respond if it's something that I need or won't I've also learned that she will go to the end of the earth and back for me. She is not a selfish person She's a selfless person. She would do anything for somebody she loved. I've learned that But what I was doing When my marriage when I'm going through when our marriage is going through is I was trying to hammer a screw and I'm bringing my intensity my bluntness my directness my harshness the way I am I'm bringing that to somebody who is more sensitive who She more she she That stuff is abrasive to her because she come from that She's you're making so she come from people saying stuff the wrong way people being too cold People being too harsh people being too distant like her family is a type of family where it's a lot of ego It's a lot of pride. It's it's to where She her family type of family Blood siblings will fall out and not talk for years not talk for forever And so they got a lot of pride whereas my family You could talk to my family they talk to each other any kind of way Yeah, fuss cuss call names and be talking back the next day But my wife family is not like that You got to come with a hundred percent all the way respect Or you're gonna get cut off and you might not ever hear from them again They won't ask you from them. They'll be taking a last breath And your breath could give them life. They'll they'll die That's the type of pride that her family have my family they have this thing Oh, we blood we blood so get over it like we blood and so my family feel like They could talk to you any kind of way and you supposed to be okay with it. So I brought that in so what's happening is Black men and black women are not communicating and learning each other The man ain't learning the woman the woman ain't learning the man. So black women saying oh, I'm done I'm done with black men. I'm done with black men. And it's like how many black men have you dealt with? You have one horrible relationship now you done with the whole race Okay, you had three relationships before I met my wife. I had them dated Meaning every woman that I laid down with was a woman that I could have saw as a wife. I Went through over a hundred women Before I met my wife So it's like You coming in here and you coming in with no knowledge You're not getting the knowledge So you ignore all the red flags because you don't know the red flags You ignore all the red flags the man controller from week one demand Inconsistent the man is a liar demand is a perpetrator But because you don't know what a grown boy looked like you ignore all the red flags And then when you get hurt now you done with black men When it was halfway your fault because the man can only do what you allow him to do But if you get the knowledge You're gonna be able to recognize it just like how we recognize a scam It's like okay. How do you know that's a scam? How you know that's a scam? Like if you answer your phone and they say hello, is this um Jane Doe and you like yeah Can you verify your social security number for me? You like what? Verify my social security number. Who is this? How you know that? Okay, my point exactly so when you meet a man if you don't got the knowledge if you learn When you meet this man then if he He say the wrong thing this man come in and he like a why you wearing that? Why why are you why are you wearing that like that's what you're gonna wear? and you like huh like Me my husband me my boyfriend now, you know That's controlling, but you know what nine out of ten women They're like, oh, you know, I came with it Wow, okay. You so you care about what I wear man. You care that much. Okay. I'll change. Excuse me And think that that's cute. Oh, he cares Oh, he don't want me to hang out with my friend Oh, he don't want me to go out to the club. Oh, he don't want me to wear this skirt No, it ain't that he care because he don't even know you enough to care Men cheating and beating on women they the new for years. He don't even know you enough to care So it ain't that he care. It's that he's controlling And so us men we show these signs and women don't put up pick up on it And then when you get taken through the ringer, then you say, oh, you done with black men It's not even about that. But it's like if you learn men You learn how to talk to a man. You learn how to read a man. Then it's just like season Milan season Milan The dog whisperer it's the same thing Because every and a woman say Tony can you start talking about a good man? There is no such thing as a good man a Man becomes a good man There is no such thing as a good man. The only good man is Jesus Christ Every other man is flawed. So every one of us become when I met my wife I was not a good man. I was a liar. I was abusive. I was controlling. I was toxic I became a good man based on What she stopped What she allowed and what she reinforced For some crazy reason women are thinking that a man is going to come packaged and ready Because you think that you are packaged and ready But when you talk to a man Like myself who is unbiased. I have never met a woman who is packaged and ready I've met several women who think they ready, but still got a jaded mindset still got Being controlled by the ex still is hurt is jaded is is lost but but because she makes six figures or seven figures because she got a job close the computer down Because she got a job because she got a house because she got a car Because she got a degree. She thinks she ready when none of that stuff Relates or equates to a relationship and being ready for a man So the same way a woman has to learn In the relationship based on her man how to be a good wife to that man a Man has to learn how to be a good man to his woman Based on that woman So a good woman to one man is a woman who cooks and Who cleans a good woman to another man? is a woman who works and Helps pay the bills a good woman to another man So it depends on the man you have like my wife She don't have to cook I'm okay eating out It's that's not every man I'm okay going to a nice restaurant and letting that chef who is trained On how to cook food based on temperatures and everything. I'm okay with him or her cooking and Me paying the bill. I'm okay paying a hundred dollars a night To eat from a restaurant. I'm not every man I'm okay paying a house cleaner a laundry person a driver I'm okay with that That's not every man So my wife and her lifestyle and what she has access to She would be seen as a horrible wife to another man who he has this mindset that a wife is this this this this a woman who just want to cook every day and You know just want to be like this is this this will be boring to me. I Get tired of her cooking regardless. I good. She cooked. I Want to taste shelf this shelf that shelf this shelf that woman who frugal and don't like to spend money want to ride old raggedy car and Got that old raggedy purse Happy title. I'd be like child is You something like me. I like to live Like I like to live the Maureen promise. So I had a room at the Fairfield Inn. We had a room at the Fairfield Inn My spirit one sin one sin right with that Fairfield Inn So I counseled it and we had the rich cartoon We had the rich cartoon like plod no vibing at the rich cartoon because my spirit say I need to live I need to scratch my mind. I need and I had to get the desert view room I ain't want the base room. This ain't the highest now. They got three four levels higher But so I know my level now But hey, I had to get my love of you And I had to come to the record and when I walked in here and I see these people I Say these people is out my tax bracket. These people on another level These people ain't even supposed to be in here But that's how I make money Because I stretch my mind if I had old scarcity minded struggle minded woman Who she want to pee in the pan? It'll drive me crazy So that's what I'm saying is It ain't nothing wrong with black men they just mean and They flaw like every other man But what they need is to meet their woman Who's not going to be afraid of them? They need to meet a man need to meet a woman who gonna learn his language and Sit down with him and speak that language So for some man, it's gonna be a fine voice For some man, it's gonna be a softer voice For some man, you could talk to him standing up for some man You got to talk to him sitting down for some man. You can dress it right then for some man You got to wait 24 hours It's going to be different based on the man. It ain't nothing wrong with the men at large They they living in the world and they operating the way they operate but like what I told y'all black men are forward black men our They're out there Meaning they know worse than white men or Asian men. It's just Other men white men and Asian men. They throw the rock and hide their hand Black men throw the rock and then look at it hit you and say I do it. What? What you gonna do? so it's just a difference you dealing with a man who is a Quote-unquote like alpha male versus a man who is quote-unquote a beta male and it's gonna be both on both sides But the black man then went through so much. He got so much fear. He got so much anxiety He got so much trauma He's operating differently, but at the same time. He's still a soft-hearted Person who got a big heart and can love he just got to be reached and if black women are honest Black women are the same way Black women got a heart exterior black women could be very catty could be very Confrontational could take stuff so serious black women walk on it walk on eggshells you say something to a black woman and you could be joking and she'd take offense to it and And then she might lighten up and laugh But when you watch these videos of the black men they going out and they talking to women Whenever they go up to the black women the black women are always kind of like what? Man, what you doing and then she'll laugh and the white women always just from the jump giggling And it's just because of our path is different now Yes, it's not every single one of them is one side. It's not one size fits all its exception to the rule understand that I get tired of having to say that but it people literally come in the comments like the video I was doing the other day a grown lady in her 40s or 50s literally come in the comments Tony you are so off-base on this because I do this and my daughter do this and my mom and it's like ma'am Do you know it is millions of people just cuz y'all do that don't mean that's y'all the norm You are the exception to the rule You don't understand that but so y'all forget when I be saying that So listen now. I'm in a hotel and I'm in a red car So these walls paper thin so that's why this video is lower. I ain't talking as loud as I talk when I'm at home In my own house in my office then somebody to be in the comment Tony I was trying to listen to the video, but it was just so low Can you get a new microphone? like Bishop such and such or like such and such because they microphones is really good Yeah, they're not in they're not in the rich cotton in California With a son who finna plan a showcase for pro scouts Shoot the video on the tripod So yeah, they sound is amazing Cuz they in a stationary place in they home shoot video when I'm on the road So understand that y'all forgive me But that's how they'll be working. They're trying to complain to still a few minutes of each video So we can get deep down and dead So if you hit this and you realize that you've been working for the devil complaining about stuff that you're not helping pay for Then stop working for the devil and just get what you get and don't pitch a fit like the teacher say So now listen to me. So listen. So no If Jesus Christ giving up on you No, Jesus ain't giving up on you Jesus ain't turning his back on you and you're not perfect So, no y'all not gonna get me to give up on black men Those y'all ain't we sick and tired of I had a block one lady because every she followed me all around social media Tony gasses don't want to understand that we sick of black men. We tired of black men Man, why are you watching my videos then shut that mess up? Satan you working for the devil follow me around every social media trying to tell me you sick of black men You sick of black men. Okay, and go get your white man in You're obviously ain't got you now man, because if you had your happy white man, you wouldn't be following me around online making comments everywhere So it's like how you want me to be mad with black men When I'm a man when I'm a black man and then also when I'm being harassed By a black woman when all I'm trying to do is help So now what that make it look like is is the black woman is just as crazy as a What she's saying a black man is I'm like woman I'm a stranger. I'm married I'm doing video for free trying to help you harassing me chasing me all around line tagging me Trying to make your point about how horrible black men is When you see I'm a successful and healthy black man, but I used to be a drug dealer and an abusive man So I know that man could change I know men could grow and that's why I'm doing the work and it was a woman Who stood her ground? Who was not afraid of me who told me what she needed without yelling without cursing without fighting and That reached me That pierced my heart that reached me and that helped me change Every man want to change Now some man I want to take yeah, he do if he don't want to change for you That means you're not the one so understand that and move on. It's another man. That's for you You ain't gonna be able to speak everybody language It was a hundred plus women who I did not change for because they were not the woman for me So get that early understand that early and go about your business Hey, there's Tony gaskin. I Gotta go my wife text me a couple times. I had booked her spa appointment so she get a massage Here cuz this come from a man who used to be you know Toxic and all of that here. I am upgrading the experience for the hotels with my wife I said my wife is a queen. I want a nice hotel I want her to be inspired too because she be around these women and she see how they carry itself She see how they dress she learn little fashion tips She see other things and then she get to get her massage Go to the sauna and I set that up. She didn't ask me for that I Book that for her and then I said hey, we're gonna take a trip to LA Because we two and a half hours from LA and I booked a hotel there and a nice hotel so she could get that experience and Y'all know we just was on that yacht This one I'm trying to tell you this why I carry the message I carry because I know the man I used to be and one thing I'm telling you if you living and breathing you on this video You ain't met no man. That was No worse than me. I was one of the biggest liars one of the biggest my Ex before my wife. I was with her for two years While I was with her I slept with 26 other women I know the number because I thought that that made me a man So so you gonna look at me and tell me to give up on black men when I know the man that I was and I see the man that I am But I know that it was a woman that God gave the key to my heart So if God didn't gave you the key to his heart Realize that and stop trying to pick the lock and gone about your business And when you meet the man that you got the key to his heart You're gonna realize he got the key to your heart and y'all gonna be a fit and y'all gonna ride into the sunset And it's gonna work and if you don't meet that and you happen to meet it in another race then God bless you But don't just wipe out a whole race just cuz you don't been hurt Because that is a clear sign that you are not doing the work and you are not healed That is a clear sign that you're toxic That is a clear sign that you jaded that is a clear sign that you broken if you could curse an entire race And you've only dealt with this much men That is a sign that the devil got you that the devil came in and broke your heart broke your trust broke your love and Stole from you the greatest gift that God has given the mankind Which is love the devil to made you stop believing in love in a whole entire race And then you got the nerve to say you heal When you don't believe that this man is capable of love and being changed and growing That means you don't believe in God and you don't believe in the power of God That men and women can grow and change and if you don't believe in that Then I'm the wrong person for you because I'm a living witness. I'm a living testimony, I'm a living example of a complete change of a 180 degree turn around I'm that person So that's why my message is what it is Hey, this Tony gas and God blessing. I got to see what my wife. She probably sent me a picture from the sponge God bless you. We'll talk soon and y'all forget a volume for giving volume Is there any way that you could get a new microphone the You see the button up under the video it got a little dollar sign in it in a heart click that right now click that right now Since you want to make demands and you want to have suggestions click that right now and Help me get what I need to be at Since I ain't on the lower that you want me to be on like the rest of the life coaches you listening to click the button Does he some people that some people is bishops and all that and they get to take up ties on every Sunday I don't get to take up ties. So, you know, we're gonna have all the equipment and everything you need Cuz I'm not a youtuber. I'm a person who does YouTube Understand that and to those y'all who Knew you you get it y'all forgive me. Don't don't get mad with me when I be talking to How the devil be using people to get on my nerves Don't don't don't get mad with me. Just laugh at it scratch your booty get glad Don't don't be in the comic Tony. Just ignore them. Don't know. I got to pay on some tension I know I could ignore them But I don't want to cuz I want them to learn a lesson to understand they hindering the spirit When they operate outside the spirit stating the obvious that if I could do it better I would and And only certain situations will provide that and they they're always gonna be that case cuz I shoot running and gunning So a God bless you. We'll talk soon