 Verbena are not water-suitable. Even if my Jedi has a Scottish accent, can't have applied lightsaber. Playing a Gamorian doesn't violate anybody's religion. No ruining the game by informing the DM the Yellow Power Ranger is dead. Prepping for the adventure means memorizing spells and buying gear, not coming up with a safety word. No nailing the GM's girlfriend's character. I will ask permission before performing an autopsy in another character's hideout. No putting the villain's fake bio on match.com and letting the stalkers do my work for me. No matter what the rules say, my psychotic racist character doesn't get a permanent persuasion bonus just because she puts out. Combat boots do not give bonuses to CPR checks. I don't need to know the melting point of Orcs. Even if the rules allow it, I can't one-shot guys with a feather duster. No more surprise parties with a berserker. Can't post data letter of Mark. Can't abuse the Boggins weakness to get free babysitting. The following are not acceptable specialties for a weapon master. Mustard gas, cheese grater, sardonsism. Even if the rules allow it, sniper scopes don't give bonuses to shotguns. The ability to do anything as long as it's not that hard is not a real superpower. No using the time machine to give Nostradamus a sneak peek at the future again. There is no needing for a dark brooding vigilante of the night in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Shakedown is not an art skill specialty. In the middle of a black ops, can't run up the target's cable bill by ordering pay-per-view movies on his TV. Can't air-hump the king from behind while he's performing demagoguery. Electrokinetics are not allowed anywhere near the president's teleprompter. Despite what the rules say, shooting other PCs in the head does not improve morale. Can't disguise a nuclear bomb to look like me. DMs don't appreciate being dubbed. Can't filibuster other characters. Nobody's going to buy the disguised wookie of the Java with a pituitary problem. A.N. Rand has no effect on my alignment. The wizard's familiar does not have to say versus leg hump. Mark 6's armor's drawback is not random chicken noises. I will stop telling people the elf is openly Faye. No part of the elven cloak is actually made out of elves. Breaking the fourth wall doesn't require a strength check. It's not possible to become addicted to healing spells. You don't have to be lawful evil to be sentenced to Devil's Island. Not my fault if you can defeat the labyrinth just by making right turns. When the game designer asks me my opinion about the new edition of his game, open weeping is not appreciated. Even if the rules allow it, can't parry an artillery broad with my fists. Blasting the distress signal from orbit's forbidden, anyone would have avoided the last six ambushes. Canary aren't automatically angered by the color red. Can't distract the villain by sending him a text. I will not attempt to gnome a foreign pheron. Even if the king is represented by miniature, I can't put him in checkmate. No prisoner gets special treatment, even if he does look like Robert Goulet. No improvising winging or fabricating funeral rites. Can't use teleport to convince the villain's henchmen he's seen things. Having an electro-tech in the party doesn't mean I get to leave my phone charger at home. Not free the hostage with a surprise game of Red Rover. Not allowed to start the campaign having sex, especially with another player. Can't use the international dateline to get around once per day restrictions. There is no bluff check in the world that gets around divine retribution. A lifetime subscription to Cosmo is not an elven racial bonus. Swedish accents are great for Vikings, ninjas not so much. No tagging a sleeping dragon with Bilbo was here. If we end up playing illuminated martial artist superheroes protecting the madlands from the tour, we will reselect the source books again with our eyes open. There is no way to diplomatically ask the gaius if he's going to finish that sandwich. Dwarven breast milk is not 180 proof. No using a time machine to make Christ the keynote speaker at an atheist convention. I will not use the commune spell to find out who is John Galt. Those spending more points in the villain to make his assistant more loyal to me. There is more combat than a call shot to the face with a double barrel, despite what the dice say. If I can't use the dwarf to beat a guy to the death, that includes beating him against the dwarf. No talking haster and assuing Voldemort for trademark infringement. I send the party out on an epic quest just to get some alone time with the missus. Even if the rules allow it, can't play a Viking mad scientist. A Shemsu hero kamikaze pilot is funny once. Even if there is no naming convention given, Tal Vashov are probably not named Larry. I will keep all eldrick artifacts of ungodly power out of the reach of children. Even if I need to practice it, if I'm playing Batman I'll lose the Russian accent. Using my media to paparazzi template does not automatically cause humanity loss. No probating Dunkelsons will. I will quit pestering the tech priest on whether he's AC or DC. Despite what the rules say, you don't have to be a 19th level bard to play Alice's restaurant massacre. No using the weapon critical hit charts to play bingo. The identify spell doesn't work on mystery meat. If I manage to roll up a half ogre knight errant on 3d6 straight down, no gloating. Naming the half ogre sore loin of beef is gloating. The University of Wisconsin does not have branches and lachmar, waterdeep or blackmore. The druid can't transform into a sports car, even if we douse him with hot water. No wrecking the millennium falcon in the prologue. If the GM's pet NPC has tons of plot armor, can't use her for cover. Even if it's the coolest spell ever, can't just go around exploding everyone. A paladin of the god of obituary's job is not to just kick butt and take names. The surprise in the surprise attack comes from its speed, not from the shattered eardrums of the breaching charge. When asked to be the party tank, they didn't mean an Abrams. After the battle, my astartes is to spend his time training in a meditation, not choreographing Gilbert and Sullivan numbers. No result on the critical hit charge splits the atom. Can't set the Death Star to stun. If we crash the opening of the last eight adventures, still have to name our new starship. Medium well is not a phaser setting. Can't fly standing up. Squeezing a termigant like bagpipes isn't going to turn him into a machine gun. There is no instant replay in Hackmaster. The proper responders are making a very tough block check and not a touchdown dance. If any player ends up in lingerie, the game is over. Better believe if I berserk for two straight hours I'm going to feel it in the morning. The wookie isn't allowed anywhere near a conditioner. The evil twin flaw doesn't count if he's fraternal. Despite what the dice just said, I'm not the personal god of Michael Phelps' agent. A saber-two tiger is not acceptable second in a duel. No flashbacks to the death of the disposable expository NPC at the Star of the Adventure. Any gun whose damage is best described in scientific notation is vetoed. Just because I took the large advantage doesn't let me rampage through Tokyo, it will. Can't just program the probejoy to go to light speed through the Star Destroyer. Torpedo spheres don't just go off an accident. No taunting dark mall with the fact Uncle Owen had more lines, more screen time, and more memorable death. No spending money from the raised-dead fun on ice cream. I will make sure when the GM asks what my fetish is if he means voodoo bag or brunette with short hair. Improved tax evasion is not a real feat. There is no easy way to tell a guy he named his genetically-engineered uber-space Mongolian after Genghis Khan's wife. Apothecaries can't perform emergency scholectomies. Can't convince the entire pantheon to all take spider to the fourth domain. In a middle of a black-off, I don't have time to set all the target's phone handsets to maximum volume. If World War III is looming, I will not spend all my character advances on just liberal arts degrees. While extremely cool, my superhero needs something more than just a gun that fires badges at people. Off-duty astarties wear robes, not white-beaters and speedos. Spending my rank four instead of rank five priority on human does not make me more human than human. Even if the L fails his willpower check, we don't need to change him. There is only one mounting option for Mr. Stud. This is not optional. Even if used correctly, branding irons do not count as non-lethal weapons. I will refrain from any activity that could turn the entire party into smoking piles of leaderhosen. Using my runic powers to provide a light show for my scald's musical performances is abusing Gromfather's gifts. Despite how practical it would be, I have no need for a direct kinesi and tuba. There is no such thing as a shotgun exterminatus. I will not try to bring back nipples as a superhero fashion statement. The ornans fully understand the concept of personal space. Even if the rule will allow it, a cold shot to the eyes with a sledgehammer isn't very practical. In the middle of a black ops, I can't order 1,500 peaches to be delivered to the target the next day. Elves do not get a racial bonus to the skill trade interior design. Even if the kids love it, the cone of cold spell is not for making toboggan rides possible in August. If I ever trick the DM in the telling us the only way to make money mining is to work the shaft, all my characters die, not just in this game either. Even if the rules allow it, I can't conduct a television interview and maintain a choke hold at the same time. Can't spend all my starting points to build a renaissance version of Las Vegas. Cylons don't have a four year lifespan, dart harmonious is not a real Sith Lord. No matter how many times it's already been retconned, I can't change the story of the origins of the Sith every time we play. Even if it's a friendly pick up game, it's a bad idea to dunk on Vader. I will remember Captain Reese has the immunity NPC with no name advantage. Characters with the curious disadvantage are not acceptable substitutions for the identified spell. There are no additional bonuses to guessing the right card if we're playing Go Fish with a deck of many things. Any attempt to breed bear owls is doomed to failure. If I knock out Ryu while I'm blocking, it's time to retire the character. If I'm not allowed to go back in time to kill a villain, I can't just bring him to the present as a child either. No scanning the pre-article table for an unused element to base my superhero around. The very thought of improving my humanity by Osmosis costs humanity. The worven ale does not double as jet fuel, industrial solvent, or colic medicine. No secretly setting the Netrunner's modem interface to 8-bit. No matter how pissed off the verbita makes me, I can't put her on Glenbeck's mailing list. Can't use the bureaucracy skill to indefinitely delay a rival going through customs. Yeah, made no sense to me either. DMs don't appreciate the Socratic method. The following are non-accessible favorite enemies, Tories, cartoon characters, Wichita Falls. If the GM is a woman, can't play a space otter to gain cute points. If the rules require me to multiply several stats by 10,117 to get another stat, can't do it longhand in protest. I will try to keep the number of pages the DM rips out of his playtest binder to a minimum. Can't stealthily follow the villainous wizard and backstab him every time he tries to cast a spell, even if every rogue in the world does it to our wizard. My druid will stop insisting we place all expended magic items in the appropriate recycling bin. No uploading to the villain's electro-tap the video of me shooting him. Even if I no longer lose sand around him, no domesticating night-gaunts. When describing my superhero, I will stop at Molly Ringwaldman. Note to self, piñata golems are a bad idea. Even if I have enough rope and have nine attacks around, can't garret a hydra. Despite Hawkman, Batman, Ant-Man, and Spider-Man, Red Snapper-Man is not a legitimate superhero name. The wish spell can't affect the order of the alphabet. Even if I buy off the Nemesis disadvantage, doesn't mean we can't still be enemies. Snipers don't appreciate their spotter yelling out, BOOM! Headshot! Can't have a gun that can inflict lethal damage or does the bullets win cheer? If my character's name is not an anagram, I will tell the DM before he spends thirty minutes rearranging letters. No explaining battle plans to the tune of a Jerry Reed song. The spell is heat metal, not the tech piercings. Even if the corporation prefers PC terminology, an interrogation is not kinetic information retrieval. Our word sarcasm is not a real spell. Even if the rules might allow them, we can't all play ogre and warcasters. I will not give in the temptation when presented with a decanter of endless water and an opening to the underdark. Just because I can, doesn't mean I have to land my Varatek like Iron Man on the deck of the carrier every single time. If I'm commissioned to build an artillery gun, they don't mean a gun that fires howitzers. If I abandon the game for a long time my fiance, my PC dies, ask me if I freaking care. Just because the DM prefers D&D to a long time with a smoking hot fiance, doesn't mean the party gets to question his gender preference. During the time of troubles, can't forward my prayers to another god. The Bohemian Earspoon is not an appropriate weapon for a paladin, or anybody else for that matter. Horned Dog is not a real dwarven cast. No matter how successful our party has to be more than a wizard and five pikemen. Fifty Shades of Grey Dwarves is not the new Durgur sourcebook. We can't steal all the treasure from the giant magical scales, and if we do undertake an engineering project that dwarfs the Hoover Dam. My Legionnaire can't spend resources on a sixteen ton weight he can drop on people with his mind later. Kunari don't take smiling damage. No matter what experience say, West Virginians do not make the best mythos investigators. If I have to buy a second warehouse to store all my spare magic weapons, tying to retire the character. Even if it is a real way to kill somebody, I can't burk at the bad guy. The following are not real cyberpunk festivals, Night City Comic Con, The Kill It Festival, Grenada Palooza, Can't Just Target The Villain Starfighter, and if it's the only one of its type in the battle. Before entering Denerim, we don't have to delouse the Dalish. Can't trick the dragon into swallowing a shrunken dire porcupine and ending the spell while he swallows. Lifting Steen has no need for weapons of mass destruction. Can't trick the time-traveling bad guy into a shootout with his past self. We aren't looking at the various kingdoms tax rate before deciding where to dungeon crawl. Vecna was not the inventor of the Oregon donor card. Even if I took it with me with the full intention of using it, a manhole covered count of the improvised weapon. Since they don't participate in the Olympics, I can stop riding Rylas National Anthem. No matter how big these sewers seem to be, we aren't finding a shiplie's donut down here.