 Hey everyone Welcome to the live video the narcissist wants to fight so many of you Who have been dealing with Narcissists will notice that they can never be at rest. They never come They're always on edge like a loose cannon You never know what's going to set them off and what might seem like a minor problem or difficulty to you Could be something very extreme to them They can turn a molehill into a mountain. They can give you all of the problems They can point out everything that's wrong But when it comes to solutions They don't want to hear it. They don't want to know about how to fix anything Because they want the problem to just continue on and on Because as long as the problem continues They get attention They get you to focus on them, which then means that you transfer your energy on to them It gives them supply and that is one of the reasons why the narcissist wants to fight Because it gives them a supply and another reason is Well, it doesn't have anything to do with you they will try and make you think that it does They will try and make you seem like it's something personal Against you, but it really isn't you might be fooled into thinking That's something you said or did me them angry But no, they were already angry They were angry before they even met you these people have so many past unresolved traumas That they haven't even begun to work on and when they get in a disagreement with you It brings up all of those things from the past and they're just throwing it on to you They're projecting all of their baggage on to you and worst of all You identify with it and that's what continues the fight we identify With what these people say about us we identify With what these people are doing and that just feeds into the drama. We resist it and what we resist Persists it's like if someone told you not to think about Pink elephants you might find That it's all you can think about you have to release it you have to let go of this toxic energy But doing that is not how people Might think it would be it's not about rejecting that energy It's not about Resisting it or trying to get rid of it the more you try and get rid of it The more it's going to be there I'm sure you've already tried many times to get rid of this toxic energy this drama this chaos that they always bring on to you You have to learn to move with it To flow through it and the best way to do that Is to be in agreeance with it agree With what they are saying Don't let it affect you don't let it bother you Don't try to fight or resist it Just let it be there accept it Because their power Is in you not wanting it to be there Not wanting them to be there with their drama. It's like if you think about a rapist someone who Gets a kick out of rape Sexual contact against your will. What is it that gives them that rush? What's making them enjoy doing that? It's your unwilling participation It's the fact that you don't want it to happen But what if You just said Fine here. I am Bring it on Give it to me your worst Say what you want to say do what you want to do show me How you really feel and then you may find That they lose all desire to even argue with you Because the whole fun of it what gives them that rush is that they know You don't like it You don't want to participate in it. That's what gives them a kick out of it. So let it be there They might say something you don't like something you disagree with and Maybe some of you might think it's more productive To point that out to say you don't agree with it But just look back in the past has that ever worked for you? Or did it just go round in circles and you never came up with a solution? Just went on and on for hours constant arguments So why not just agree with it? Why not just say fine Whatever you're saying. Yes, I agree with that And then it ends right there The argument has to end When you agree because the whole point of the argument is that they're trying to get Their distorted views across and trying to get you to agree with them But if you just fast forward to that point Where you do agree? It will save you a lot of time and energy and this isn't about Finding a resolution Now whether you agree with them or not You're not going to get a resolution with a narcissist, but what this will do is it will Save you time and energy. You won't feel as stressed as you usually do You'll probably get better sleep. So whether whatever they're throwing at you Just agree with it just accept it and then they lose their power because their power comes from you Disagreeing it comes from you fighting back The narcissist wants a fight and as long as you're willing To jump in that wrestling ring with them They will go round after round with you. It's like Ross Rosenberg says don't wrestle with a pig You might get dirty and besides The pig likes it. So that's the message for today Don't wrestle with a pig Keep that energy for yourself. I hope everyone's all right. I know a lot of people are in lockdown Can't go outside. I've got a feeling that it's It's gonna get better soon. It's been really hard for the last year for all of us Being stuck inside and especially If you live with a narcissist, but I think it's gonna get better soon. I think by this spring This should almost all be over You can start Going to places more traveling. It would only get easier in time now. I think the worst of it is over It was my birthday The other day 32 now just makes me think you know time goes by so fast And we waste so much time with these people Who don't value our time and I know Many people find this information out later in life and they wish that they knew it five Ten maybe 20 years ago and I get that I do I often wish that I had known this information Maybe when I was a teenager or In my early 20s, I look at it and I think You know, maybe that could have changed my entire life Maybe things would have been a lot easier for me But then I also think If I had known that information back then and if my life was a lot easier Maybe I never would have created this channel. Maybe there wouldn't be 94,000 subscribers benefiting from These videos that I post every day, I just see it as though there was a reason for it see it as though it was a part of my Destin and path in life and I'm so happy that I went through everything that I did because now I I Can share my experience with all of you and it's a great feeling when you get to that point where even though everything That might have happened in your past You don't regret it anymore You don't feel bad about it anymore because it got you to where you are today and while things may not be perfect right now You've got that awareness You're at a higher level of consciousness and when it all comes down to it, that's all that really matters It's not about having the perfect husband or wife It's not about having loads of money A nice car a perfect job What good is any of that If you're not aware if you're not conscious of this life and that is why I lock back at all of the missed opportunities the jobs I lost Relationships money the awareness the higher consciousness Is priceless and I look at it as though I traded all of that So that I could I could become more aware and I am very grateful for that all of the The people the jobs the money it was a worthy trade and I am very Satisfied with it and I look at it as though If those things were really so good for me They'd still be here today if it's in the past it belongs in the past and I think that's something Important to remember Definitely that's something we should remind ourselves of every day don't focus on the loss remember To see it as a trade you traded all of those things for consciousness awareness These things that you cannot put a price on as you become more conscious of yourself and this life This world Everything becomes more enjoyable Everything becomes more satisfying. It's like any little thing. You just go for a walk down the beach You eat an ice cream you just feel so high in life It's a great feeling But I don't want to get too much into that as many of you may know I do have another channel it's called spiritual secrets and on that channel I Do talk about Spirituality healing and self-development Raising our vibes, so if that's something That interests you I would definitely recommend Checking out my other channel you can find the The link to the videos on the narc survivor community page So just click on the community link And then scroll down and you should get a link then to the spiritual secrets channel, but yeah Thank you all for Joining me on this live video. I'm just away at the moment I've been enjoying my birthday, and I hope everyone is doing well so yeah, that's all for this live and Don't forget you can email me at coaching at narc survivor Dakota UK and You can if you're interested in a in booking a coaching session Just check out the website www.narcsurviver.co.uk and also There's the Instagram as well where I post narcissistic abuse quotes and Pictures and videos of my recent travels, so do check that out too It's narc survivor YouTube on Instagram. All right That's all for this live. Thank you all for joining me. Have a good day or night depending on where you are And I will talk to you soon