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Published on Jun 25, 2007
Shipwrecked sailor William Stanton (EDWARD DEW who doesn't like shirts) washes ashore Pagan Island and finds himself the only man among a tribe of semi-naked man hating women: "He use words I no understand. He say I built like small brick house!" After a ceremony in front of their idol -- a big goofy statue with a funny monster face -- the gals get Stanton drunk, tie him up, and hang him upside down to die: "You are White Man! White Man is no good!" But--uh oh -- when a "war canoe with warriors from other island come," Stanton is released just in time to kill the invaders. Hailed as a hero, he promptly falls in love with princess NANI MAKA, "the Bride of the Sea God," and quickly learns that his rival for her affection is...a giant clam. - Something Weird