 With 10 being that is the max. I'm doing everything in my power and one being I'm not really doing anything They take those two numbers the difficulty and then you take the effort and then you compare those two numbers Here's the really tricky thing about this if the difficulty is at all around the effort or worse above the effort You will not achieve your goals. That's the bottom line. You will not achieve your goals Not that one right there until something changes if your difficulty Outweighs the effort you're putting in you better hope to win the lottery Because otherwise you won't achieve your goals and this can be applied with everything it can be applied with dating It can be applied to career. It can be applied to health No matter what's going on your effort must exceed the difficulty in that scale if it doesn't do that you will fail It's a very very simple equation and so anything that you're wondering. Why am I not good? Why am I not successful? Why am I not the best? Why have I not achieved this? If you put that scale to the test it becomes extremely clear why you're not doing that That's called the goals to effort ratio when it comes to dating most people have their goals sky-high and most people Have their effort down here most people don't realize the difficulty of what you're trying to do Most guys in this industry and myself included most guys in this industry started out and we're trying to take 20 to 30 Years of social experience, and we're trying to cram it into two years Now let me tell you what happens when you do that to anything else What happens if I said hey, I'm five foot four Asian never played basketball before but I want to be in the NBA Two years from now What kind of effort is that going to require? Can I do that by just I'll take some shots here and there I'll go out to play a couple pick-up games Maybe I joined the local gym. Am I ever going to get close even if I was tall Would I ever come close to being in the NBA whatever come close even to being in a high school team not a chance? Because I'm competing with guys. They're putting in 20 30 years sometimes of experience And I'm trying to cram two years of experience with mediocre effort trying to make that happen That doesn't work in basketball. That doesn't work in finance. That doesn't work in dating That doesn't work in anything unless you are extremely extremely lucky Most people don't want to realize they don't want to appreciate the difficulty in what you're trying to do here Especially with regard to date You're trying to massively condense everything into a two-year period What do you think everyone else is doing? Everyone else is taking the next 10 20 30 years and doing the same thing You're trying to cheat the system and you can do it, but you can't slack off If you slack off, there is no chance in hell that it's ever gonna happen You have to make sure that your efforts are far exceeding the difficulty in that ratio if it doesn't happen You're not successful Make sense Second thing second secret you must be willing to fail a lot And I know a lot of people say oh no, I've heard that yeah I get that you know Edison he failed a thousand times blah blah blah But how many things have you failed that thousands of times? Thousands and thousands of times and you didn't quit most of us don't do that the vast majority of us myself included When we fail at things a thousand times when we fail at things over and over and over again We don't even really make that heart that high we quit way way before And that's why most people won't ever achieve that excellence. That's why most people aren't successful Because at the slightest moment where oh it's getting a little bit too hard at the slightest moment where it's a little bit too Difficult now. I'll just stop doing it If you want to be in that 5% if you want to be in that group of people that is at the top at that That said that that apex of that pyramid you have to be willing to fail thousands and thousands of times There's a famous quote that says success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm That's Winston Churchill That's what everything on this is about how many failed shots. Do you think an NBA player has taken in? The entire time he's played basketball We're talking thousands maybe tens of thousands how many failed reps as a bodybuilder do before he goes pro How many times do you fall before you learn to walk? When you're a baby or maybe when you're when you're rehabilitating fire gentlemen is not an option fire is a necessity Failure is something that you have to look forward to in a way You have to see failure and realize that without failure. There is no success And if you're one of the few lucky people that achieve success without failure, guess what you don't care You don't care. You don't appreciate it because you never had to work for it. There's no investment You've never had to work for it. And so you don't even notice it Anything that comes too easy you don't even care about you don't notice But for the rest of us the things that we want to do they're difficult and we have to be comfortable with this idea of failure If you aren't willing to fail a thousand times before you experience success Then you weren't willing to succeed Sun Tzu in the art of war said that victory is reserved for those willing to pay its price And the unfortunate fact is that most people aren't willing to pay its price again the five the 95 the five The 95 you must have faith in that process and you must respect the journey that they're on Most of us have worthy goals. Most of us have large goals What that means is that those are difficult goals and you have to respect the difficulty in that journey It's difficult gentlemen for a reason It's difficult because that's what makes it worth it because if it wasn't difficult you wouldn't be on it If it wasn't difficult you would already be good at it if it wasn't difficult Everyone would be good at it and it wouldn't mean anything The only reason it means something is because it's hard and because most people can't do it So again coming back to that same question. Do you have what it takes? Are you in that five or are you in that 95? Secret number three you must have direction You must know where you're going So many people will get out there and they'll get in the car and they'll drive in a direction hoping to somehow Reach their destination only they don't know what direction they're driving They don't know if they're driving towards their destination or away from the destination or laterally to the destination Now I don't have to tell you guys that if you're doing that you get in the car and you drive a random direction Your odds aren't very good that you're actually going to reach that destination in any kind of reasonable time You have to know your direction and more importantly than just knowing the map You have to have the route You have to have the GPS navigation that tells you how to get there because if you don't have that you'll run around in circles And we see that in dating we see that in finance. We see that in exercise We see that pretty much across the board people without direction don't go anywhere They drive around in circles and then eventually eventually when you drive around circles What happens you get discouraged and you quit? I didn't want to go to that party anyway. I Don't want to go to Vegas. Anyway, it's good. It's been way too long You get discouraged and you quit that's how the world works. That's how people work So if you don't want to be in that group if you don't want to get discouraged and quit then you need to have a road map You need to figure out. What is my next step just like the GPS navigation? What's my next thing to do and how do I do it and most people don't have any idea what that is Most people have the map as a whole sometimes, but they don't have that navigation I'm gonna do a quick drill All right, I need a volunteer someone say medium to beginner to intermediate skill level dating wise They're in the back. Can you go and come up? Come around