 There are two converging ideas about the college experience. One, that it is the best four years of your life, and two, that they are the most important to build your future. I really resent whoever came up with those ideas because how is a person supposed to live under those conditions? Here's the thing, if you're having too much fun, then you're not doing it right because you aren't working hard enough. But if you're working too hard, then you're also not doing it right because you're supposed to be having fun. Um, because, like, that's just a lot to think about. Like, that's just truly, like, a lot. That's a lot to cover. I don't know. Then COVID hit, and my college experience, for lack of a better word, was completely f***ed. And it was only then that I started living. So you may be wondering, how does one start living? What was I doing before? You may ask. You have been dead until now. Weird thing, weird thing about this, because usually I don't have a concrete answer. I actually, I do have a concrete answer for this video of how to start living, and it's twofold. So we're going to start with the, um, the number one fold. I cannot emphasize how little I thought about my decisions this year for me. To be honest, I was personally so overwhelmed after COVID being around people again. I was extremely anxious in crowds, or with, like, even just talking to people on a couch. I'm wearing a mask, washing my hands like crazy, and everybody has a cold. I don't have a cold. I would worry about putting my mask on, or how close I was sitting next to somebody constantly. I was constantly worried about it the first couple of months I was here. Honestly, the only thing that I could do for myself at this point was to just live through it. It wasn't going to be perfect, and I did need it to be. Because on top of all of that's pandemic stuff, I was now living in a new country, navigating a new social system, school system, culture, making new friends. I could go on. The first week I was here, I really struggled with the maps. Here, you might, for, like, two blocks of street time, it might be Fifth Avenue, but then after that second block, it'll change to, like, Pineapple Street. That should be nice, but then also the dining hall, like, it stresses me out that there's, like, no-to-go cups, like, in the dining hall. You just kind of have to, like, sit always and have coffee where I'm like, but what if I have things to do? You can drink in the street in Scotland. So in order to contextualize all this, I need to take you back to the first couple of days that I was here. I was physically alone for a few days, so didn't really, didn't barely see another human being. And then on, like, day three, I randomly met these two study abroad students. Yesterday, like, met, like, a bunch of other international students, and it's been a little bit chaotic. And they were like, hey, do you want to, like, meet some of our friends later? And I was like, yeah, sure. Do you want to meet? No, wait, I didn't have any friends at the point. Then, like, these other people messaged me on Facebook, and they were like, hey, do you want to meet for coffee? And I was like, yeah, sure, I do. And then I introduced those people to the other people, and I went to, like, a million events and then met all these other new people and then introduced the new people to the other new people. And then by the end of the week, I had met 1,400,000 people, and I needed to lie down. And that was just the week the international students arrived, okay? Because next week, it was Freshers Week. Now on top of all of this, all these new people I've met, now there's, you know, I'm living with freshmen. I am now faced with the challenge of living with 18-year-olds as a 22-year-old, and that just makes you feel like the biggest loser and imposter. And really, I could have let that stop me so easily that first week, but you know what I did? But you know what I did? I stopped. Life has been super temporary for the past, like, four years, pretty much. My first year of college, I was, like, really trying to figure everything out. And then my second year, I basically kind of had to start all over when then the pandemic hit, and then I took gap year, and now I'm here, and then next year, I'm going to have to, like, sort of start all over again. So I feel like I've had a lot of practice sort of starting over. How do I put this? I'm not saying that I said yes to everything this year, because honestly, at the beginning of this year, I said no to a lot of stuff because I wasn't ready, and I don't regret that because I was doing my best. But the more that I said yes, the more doors opened, the more open that I became. You know, I said yes to travel, to people, to try new things, to dancing, to singing in a, you know, a crowd in London at Christmas fireworks on the beach on a Scottish holiday where I barely knew anybody. I even said yes to Haggis that one time. I did. And I want to emphasize that saying yes came in all forms, even in saying no. And what I mean by this is I said yes to myself this year more than I ever have. You know, if I knew something wasn't meant for me, I, you know, not always because I'm not a perfect person, but, you know, I just, more than ever this year, I just, I simply just let things go, which I have not been very good at doing in the past. You know, a lot of the times I like sit and I ruminate over things and people. And I just, this year I was just like, I simply do not have time. You know, I just, I led with good intentions. And, you know, even if that meant saying no with good intentions, I did. I did that. And it was really good for me. And after a year, I just think that, you know, I had this attitude of like, oh, you know, this is a, this is a year. So I had to, you know, I can't play it fast and loose with what am I doing? No, I have to have to play fast and loose. I don't know. I was just like, I was trying to chill out, man. I was just trying to like, you know, just trying to vibe. And after a year of living like this, I just, I think I've just, this is now how I, this is now me. Like it was like the thing where I was like, oh, I'm gonna like, you know, just this year, I'm just gonna like be chill and like, you know, you know, make decisions for me. But like now I just think it's like, I think that's just like who I am now, which is like super cool, man. That's a, I think I'm a chill person. A kid and when you're like in college, I think we all have this mindset of like, oh, I make a friend, and they're going to be my friend for the rest of my life. And I do have friends like that, but then I think in the past couple of years, it's like, I've like lived, I've like lived a lot of different lives in the past four years. So the thing that I've learned the most this year about people is saying yes to people for a short time. You can learn a lot from them. And it doesn't have to be this super intense thing. You know, even if you know somebody for a short time and you feel like your lease is going to be up with them soon, like just say yes. You know, if you're good to people who are good to you, it's really, it's that simple it is. And I know that may sound super stupid to somebody, but like, I think a lot of people need to hear that because you know, friendship is really complicated and there's a lot of like expectations and I really let go of a lot of those expectations this year and it made my life just like, exorbitantly better. You know, for somebody who films my life, I really don't film a lot of this. But I'm pulling, I pulled, I pulled a lot of this series like from my literal, like actual diary. It's this one. I wrote on the last page like a list of all the stuff that I had done to somebody who is like an adventurous person or I don't know like a different human being than I am. Somebody might look at this list and be like, I'm not really, what are you talking about? Like, half of the stuff on here is really really stupid and to that I would say, yeah, it is. But I am still proud of myself. Like I really am. And the thing that I wrote at the top of this page was you didn't become a new person but you grew. And if I have come to any conclusions this year is that that is all that you can ask for and that is what living is about. And I love having like all these new friends this year and like I'm, I am having such a wonderful time. Like I've met so many like really wonderful people that I've missed so much. But, oh my gosh, like after I talked to her like I was in homesick.