 Anderson family I tell you Oliver you got to do something to get rid of this brother-in-law mine oh boy he eats like a horse looks like one too I don't see where it's any affair of yours Oliver oh I don't know Homer helped me get rid of Uncle Oscar didn't he and you don't like the brother-in-law no seems like a nice fellow pop you stay out of this junior don't you speak to junior that way let's visit the Anderson family well this whole thing started when Homer Meister than the next-door neighbor of the Anderson's ask Oliver to help him get rid of his brother-in-law the brother-in-law moved in bag and baggage and poor Homer's been pushed around by everyone Mary and Oliver are listening to Homer's tale of wool Mary I tell you I'm a broken man Rockwell has to go oh come now Homer he'll only be here for a short visit no nope that's what I thought at first but he brung a toothbrush and pajamas that means he's holding up for the season yeah now why don't you just tell him he's not want oh Oliver he couldn't do that yep yep Mary's right it's what I'd like to do but Marty's got such a strong personality well I'd like to see some stooge hang around here if I didn't want him to go must just how I feel why when we went to the train to meet him Marty put on a new outfit spent a whole hour on a hairdo Homer Meister being jealous of Martha's own brother take that Mary but when we at this morning we had side meat and eggs something we never have and oh boy I made a mistake mistake yep yep I tried to be polite like and I I made the mistake I pushed the platter over to him and said help yourself Rockwell and he yep he did with one swipe of his knife he took every egg in both pieces bacon yep took the whole work oh that's hardly fair Homer where his manners Mary he just ain't got any he's just like her side you know Homer if he stays on you're gonna have to go to work to get out of the house well I'm not gonna upset my home life for him I'll tell you that well why don't you have a good talk with Martha I'm sure she knew how you felt Homer why she'd do something you ain't kidding yeah if he's one of them follows and knows it all get him a job something to do well oh maybe you could help him out now wait a minute maybe mr. Thompson could find him something to do hold on wait a minute now I should lose my job just to get him work well I don't see why you would lose your job mr. Thompson could get him something to do in the shipping department you said he always put the lowest in aptitude down there Oliver if you could get him a job I'd do anything for you well I'd have to lie to get him in see who it is Oliver probably someone for junior oh it's Martha Oliver wants to meet my brother Rockwell fine come on in go on in Rockwell you've got to be careful who you talk to you know oh Martha can vouch for us come on in sit down a minute just wanted to introduce Rockwell around he's my brother you know my older brother well how do you do Rockwell oh well gosh oh my dear if I didn't know that I was gonna meet a pretty girl I don't dress up a bit I'm silly putting on shoes just for that say that other filler there have I met him you know turn well who I be now don't go raising your voice to Rockwell sure sure now I remember I know what I heard that name before I suppose you're tired out from your trip Rockwell yep yep I got picked up in Riley Springs they taken to me in there's a zoo oh me that was a good one oh he just needs his ears slapped back how long are you going to stay Rockwell well it all's according to that's fine want to work here look around Rockwell's good at most everything that's why I come over thought maybe mr. Anderson could get him on down to the store yes I got any horses there no horses no any cows nope no cows we'd be pretty lonesome for oh you get used to people in no time they might get used to you Rocky wouldn't do any harm Oliver to inquire any how I'll do it probably use them in the shipping department that's simply wonderful well come down to the store yeah well I'll be getting along to Oliver you can stay if you want Homer yeah rock well I've got so much to talk about how long since you've seen Rockwell Martha we come out here in 19 goodness it's been a long time and I hardly had a minute to talk about the folks back home well if you want Rockwell to go to work he better spend some time filling out an aptitude test for the company oh no not me no I ain't sticking no needle in my own the needle you see Mary this is going to be don't take it a lot longer than I thought I'll let me be alone with this prospect you want me to get out well yeah everyone you can see how confused he is right now that's right nice of you Oliver come on Homer don't do nothing to hurt Rockwell's chances nothing Homer does will hurt him any more oh that's so nice come on now Homer well I hope the test comes out all right Oliver well maybe if I help him he can get in the shipping department I don't know you're gonna take him down with you Oliver yeah I'm going down an hour or so I do try hard Rockwell Oliver so kind I ain't taking no needle maybe we're confusing Rockwell yeah you're right Mary him being strange to all us and everything and I want you to move your stuff out of your room Homer when we get home Rockwell can't sleep in that car I can't imagine it I ain't taking no needle look Rockwell I'm trying to help you I'm trying to get you in our shipping department you have to start from there when you get advanced to a moron they'll give you another job is it hard to get to be a moron well not for you I'll let's see well I have one of those tests in the desk Oliver or swell get it will you not too busy what is it take a chance on a turkey raffle it's a benefit he says probably a benefit for the chaplain family look don't talk anymore I have to help Rockwell with a test oh your mr. Meister's brother quiet now quiet let Rockwell concentrate here Oliver aptitude test junior grade that's the low one how let's see what was your maiden name well do me before I was married the first time or second time yeah you're right now if you can't be quiet junior you'll have to leave the room second question what is the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle first time I was married or the second this has nothing to do with that we don't have to answer the first one conferences five no no six times see the conferences three and fourteen sixteen ten thousand times the diameter or pie pop read it in a book stop reading all right now I ask you to be quiet taking no need I know that I know that I'm trying to help you now question three what color is Paris green that's foreign ain't it and I don't know nothing foreign well just guess think hard now come on pull yourself together yellow no wait now look Paris green is green yeah sure I was thinking a blue bit to leave the room junior now all right but be quiet this is a tough thing we've answered all the questions now just sign right oh yeah no do I take a no need isn't any needle just sign right here and go downtown with me to see the boss so I ain't starting nothing till I read it but you see oh do I don't read so good so I'll sign it you won't need me anymore pop no and thanks for your help rock well we'll remember you welcome pop and now let's get out of the office so you can start work tomorrow I'll go over and get my jeans all right that's and hurry up oh well he's gonna work they're just pound nails and the big husky man like him doesn't have to think a place for guys like him down in the shipping department okay pop good luck yeah hey I didn't like the way you said that son Mr. Anderson I'll tell him thanks to train her when Mr. Thompson is tied up but I know he wants the money so why don't you bring it on over Mr. Anderson will be out in a minute sir thank you no needle I didn't get you fixed up rock the boss is going over your aptitude test and is he a relative of yours Mr. Anderson no he's not a relative of mine and if he were it's no business of yours don't snap my head off well it ain't the only place to work you know watch the switchboard that's all you have to do I don't know why you should be ashamed of him I'm not just a brother-in-law of a neighbor you don't have to apologize I'm not apologizing for anything or anybody rock well is joining our organization you'll more and likely start down in the shipping room why do you tell me this I'm not interested in him I don't know myself forget it sure gonna be a noisy place to work in not where you're going all you'll hear down there is pounding and sawing nice and quiet yes Mr. Thompson yes sir right away sir thank you Mr. Thompson says you'll see you now Mr. Anderson also your protege protege thank you that's probably the first thing you've done right today and look Rockwell just don't open your mouth in there and we may be able to slip this over okay bro are you taking on organization Rockwell my boy pull up a chair there well I don't mind if I do my dogs are killing me you see he's also just full of humor that's fine we need more humor in our everyday dealings with our customers tell me Rockwell have you done much selling I sold off to college heifers for the lift the breath fine fine he's husky too boss make us a good man well yeah yes now that I see him well I read your attitude test Rockwell and we can certainly use a man like you in our organization that's right no I shall give you how did he do on the test excellent in fact it's one of the best thought out test it's been my pleasure to correct he has a quick mind you know that's where he fooled me to look at you Rockwell I don't suspect a thing but from your test I know you're a good listener that's important when the time is right you step in and close him and make the sale I'm a good thinker boss there won't be a lot of selling to be done down there in the shipping department really you're quite right good heavens I couldn't put a man with his thinking in the shipping department Anderson huh you couldn't why of course not that's why I have this test appearances are sometimes deceitful but this test has never failed why do you realize that this man rated an even 90 is that above a moron considerably Anderson when you figure you got 62 on the test oh well yeah yes but you know I was tired yes you're always tired Anderson well I'm sure we'll work this thing out to everyone satisfaction including me see there Rockwell I told you he was a fair person all he had to do was work hard put the organization ahead of yourself all pulled together right right Anderson I like your spirit well I try you know I was afraid you'd feel differently about me oh I got that organization then you'll cooperate with Rockwell you'll show Rockwell where everything is filed in your office the open accounts in the prospect file and show him everything he should know about your job about my job that's right I'm not letting you out Anderson you've been with us too long oh worried for a minute oh nothing to worry about at all you'll report to Palmer right after lunch and get a time card from him we need a man with organization spirit in the shipping department I'll back to the Anderson family well Oliver has taken a brother-in-law of Homer Meisters down to his shop in order to get him a job Rockwell the brother-in-law had to fill out an aptitude test he knew absolutely none of the questions and Oliver himself didn't know too many but juniors sat in on the discussion and his answers made a grade of 90 for Rockwell to show how good a grade this was the boss put Rockwell and Oliver's job and put Oliver to work in the shipping department or right now Mary is calling at Tupp's Thompson and Torrance office to see Oliver about a dentist appointment there's pops office over there mom let's go on in no dear the lady will fall gee pops a pretty important guy around here mom he's worked hard for it darling that's what I've always tried to tell you you only get promotion through hard work yeah honest mom I wouldn't want this to get back to pop but he didn't know half those questions on that test well that's understandable as you grow older you forget many things you learned when you were young because you're busy learning new things and that Rockwell mom he's stupid junior not so loud that's no way to talk about a person I'm sorry gee I wonder what's keeping pop I'll find out just sit still I'll be right back to you Tupp's Thompson and Torrance yes mr. Jones hmm well now don't get tough with me brother I didn't order anything from you take it up with Thompson direct and he ain't talking to nobody this afternoon pardon me is it all right for me to go in Mr. Anderson's office I'm Mrs. Anderson Mrs. Anderson gee you're nice thank you nothing like him at all how do you stand him I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about I'm sorry I'll go in if you don't mind of course not come on junior we're going in okay mom oh it's Rockwell I'm kind of busy now what you want busy well I'm Mrs. Anderson you remember then you'd be looking for mr. Anderson that's right well I'll show you where he is where he is isn't this his office not no more it ain't mine now gee pop did better for you than he expected I already thanked him I'm provided you well you just follow me you can see him I know how you feel about this but I got a schedule to keep up and that means hit the ball all of us drive that nail pull that wire do our best that's the motto of the shipping room and now come come settle down and just keep plugging back oh brother this is tough now you can talk while you're nailing I can hear you but these blisters in a couple of weeks you'll be used to it now let's get on with that new stack there four nails to a board eight boards to a box now set an example for the men around yeah Mary what are you doing here well I'll tell you tonight I can't talk please don't keep mr. Anderson from his work you can talk to him as long as you want after working hours it's a rule of the organization drive that nail pull that wire oh Oliver what's happened you heard what the men said no Anderson the only hit that nail pull that one more on and get out of my sight gosh he ain't got no humor at all what happened dear plenty junior answers so many those questions right on that test that the boss gave rock will my job and put me down here oh I'll not stand for it I'll go right up and see mr. Tom oh no no no not that I've been a fool now let me take it she mom pops got two thumbs so well shut up I have not got two thumbs that's a blister over this is what you get for trying to help people you try to help him I wanted no part of it maybe mom and me ought to talk to mr. Thompson pop he likes me now wait a minute I'll do my own talking I'll see you at home not go on I don't want to lose this job too come in come in sit down junior to my my other boy is growing Mr. Thompson you've made a terrible mistake I have how Mary this rock well oh yes rock well a good man Mary mighty good highest test I've ever corrected but I have to excuse me Mary hello Thompson speaking oh yes hello Bert you're what oh excellent you're bringing the 10,000 over from the bank wonderful how I need that loan for this carload of washers thanks 10,000 wow was that tough to get from that bank Mary no one knows what that 10,000 means to me right now it's my life's blood now about Oliver do we have to talk about him yes we do there's something you should know well he's had 11 years to show me and I haven't seen it yet haven't seen what that necessary spark wasn't that what you were going to tell me that he'd make good if given a chance I had no in such intentions I wanted to explain about that there's really nothing to explain Mary good grief if one man gets a 62 in a test and another man gets 90 who would you hire if he wasn't your husband that's beside the point oh you know Mary I'm far too happy over that 10,000 dollars the man is bringing bringing it to me personally mind you well I'm glad you've got the money of course excuse me Mary yes Thompson speaking who now wait a minute Jones I never told you I take that $10,000 worth of spikes although I didn't oh you're gonna get tough about her you're what you'll punch who and whose nose okay if that's the way you feel come on over and try it no it wasn't the man from the bank now hurry go on out and come back later there's gonna be fireworks and I may have to clean up the office with this don't worry about it now now you get that straight Rockwell I'm leaving you in my office the man comes in he's going to make me take some nails I never ordered well I'm going out for a while now if he doesn't get out when you tell him use your own judgment I don't care what you do to him get that I sure like that I know just what to do good then you just use your own judgment now I'm leaving handle it anyway you like you wanted to talk to me Anderson yes sir well keep nailing I can hear you what is it well I have to see Mr. Thompson it's against the rules of the organization Anderson don't care if it is I have to see him very well you're new in the department now how long do you think it'll take about ten minutes now let's see just 431 I'll deduct ten minutes off your time and you're to be back at 441 no later and don't dilly-dally on the way thank you sir I appreciate this very much Thompson and Torrance now no I'm sorry we don't handle that line at all look Sadie do something for me oh you startled me Mr. Anderson all that saw that's done your whiskers I'm sorry but what I'm working you can't help getting some on you I don't think that's new guys gonna work up Mr. Anderson honest don't know from nothing he's trying to talk Mr. Thompson into carrying a line of harnesses for horses imagine is Thompson in his office no I'm sorry he just meet out the back door probably his wife or some jammies in again oh he's gone yeah but Rockwell's in his office Rockwell taking over the boss's office oh no not that he's just sitting in there is all oh well that's different your wife said she'd be right back why don't you wait for her I can't only have ten minutes I've got a lot to talk about why don't you just go in and keep Rockwell company look I don't want ever to hear that name again well you brought him in didn't you against my best judgment yes I was just down in the shipping room Mr. Palmer I know he said I had 10 minutes until 441 you didn't quit did you pop no I'm waiting to see Mr. Thompson well he's standing on the fire escape with his hands over his ears fire escape yeah I spoke to him and he said I don't want anyone to know I'm out here oh hiding out so he doesn't have to see me huh pardon me I have something for Mr. Thompson he's waiting to see me where's his office right over there the big one but he's we're all right thank you I know he'll be glad to see me isn't that Mr. Traynor from the bank yeah he doesn't remember me I guess I wonder what he where's Thompson oh now he don't want to see you about nothing so you'll get on out oh he'll see me all right I have something for him he don't want it and he told you so now look here my good man oh I ain't a good man I'm Rockwell and I'm here to protect Mr. Thompson and I can do it too he said I could do anything to you I wanted oh come now surely you must be needling take your hands off me he's a gentleman that ain't what Thompson said that's what Thompson says behind my back very well he'll hear me from this what's going on I'll ask your bouncer Thompson I've been assaulted and you'll pay dearly for this it's all a mistake Bert as for you Rockwell get out of here well gosh I done what you told me I don't you know such thing now clear out of here get out of my sight you're fired yeah but boss and so are you oh come now Anderson's been with you a long time Thompson it's not like you to be so nervous my goodness maybe our money isn't safe I'm all right Bert just had a bad night is all leave the money I'll just make this all up to you I'm so sorry I could just crawl it's it's humiliating well it's a good thing that you're surrounded yourself with good men like Anderson or we'd not take a risk on such a nearer to understand why Anderson is part of us here Bert well couldn't get along without him right hand man right here and I'll leave oh thank you Bert thank you thank you and see that your reception committee is a little more gentle the next time you want to know yes sir Anderson I've been a fool take your job back and forget this whole thing I must have been out of my mind oh well it was an experiment oh run on take the rest of the day off well I believe there's still a half hour to go thank goodness everything's over gee that's fine there's something I have to say to make a pommer in the shipping room good heavens Oliver what's going on it's all over Mary I'm back in my old job she didn't have to beat him up to get it I did no such thing the boss is okay again and from now on things will be normal he said so himself where's this Thompson Boyd oh well he's in his office who's calling he don't need no introduction to me but I'm off for the afternoon the Anderson family is written by Howard Swart directed by Herb Litten and features Dick Lane as Oliver Louise Arthur as Mary Walter Tetley as Junior and Herbert Rawlinson as Homer others in the cast were Doug Young as Rockwell Jack Willing DeWitt Paul Theodore Jenny Johnson and George Peroni music by Gordon Kibbe sound effects by Ray Erlenborn and your announcer is Ken Peters the Anderson family is a Hollywood broadcasters production transcribed from Hollywood