 that looks promising I think was it bright enough um hey guys what's up me Kenzie today I'm joined with a very special guest hi it's Janine Amapola we have known each other for too long too long it's been like five six years crazy yeah crazy both Texas girls so we just wanted to do a little drive with me we just film the force force the force great great great we just filmed the first portion on Janine's channel so I'll have the link down below yep it's a good time what are we talking about that video um boys marriage marriage a lot dating yeah so we're just gonna like chat and talk anyway if you guys are new here be sure to subscribe we got it dying we have the boys I mean we still have the the questions I have so much content when it comes to boys so I can never be that's the thing it was like an endless conversation isn't there's always endless problems with them endless no like literally like endless guys I'm gonna make a public announcement I saw this in Janine's video my mom also said this to me before I don't know if you guys remember but there was a point in my life when I want to get married ever I remember it very fondly then there was a point in my life where I was like I'm gonna marry her at like 30 and now I'm going down to like 25 slowly lowering and it's not gonna get any lower I know 25 so good age so it's like the greatest I think for so long I have like a really bad view on marriage without realizing I think I do that as like settling down when like it's also like I know this is sensitive but like is it also because maybe your parents got to yeah I also I've realized this too as a bond older and more so as I've been around families and so I that I've seen like really like healthy marriages it's just never because I didn't my parents like split up when I was like in fifth grade so I hadn't like seen that like I have a model to look after that was my own parents so now I'm realizing that that is like I don't think it's affected like my trust issues and like I don't fear for divorce for myself necessarily but you can always break that yeah exactly sure but yeah no now I definitely I definitely see how it made me like not excited for marriage but I think even more so like I'm just like so independent that I like didn't want to have to like like I didn't want like break my independence yeah I have to do that but you don't especially when like you find the right person like you want to be with that person you want to spend your life with them you want to do everything with them and they're there just they're there to supplement your life like they're gonna be there to better you to make you better person like so yeah it should never be viewed as like I'm settling down yeah I want to marry someone who's like really creative really big leader really cool very spiritually strong has to be just so funny that was like never we would have said before never extreme like I'm talking like extremely spiritual mature oh I totally agree and all areas though in all areas my point like period just yeah I realize that it just because someone's matured one area it doesn't mean the mature in any other areas I'm gonna tell you that now to save you some time some heartbreak some heart yeah time but yeah now I'm like okay we'll see but also I could so myself at 25 being like you think it's like one thing that like you've been learning a lot in life lately or that like God's been teaching you okay this is we kind of really talked about this but I'm reading this book called boundaries anyways my team lead at church was like you should read this and then I started reading it and it's so good and like it talks about how a lot of the time especially just like in a faith world or like whatever if you were someone who like just wants to do good in the world people you about like boundaries or something bad because they're like no look I want to do anything I can for this person or no I want to do this well and they look at boundaries bad but like really what boundaries are is like keeping the good end and keeping the bad out right it doesn't mean that you can't like when it's like later life down for your like brother or whatever like you can still do that just like with that like lose yourself in the process and it talks about it's crazy talks about like when you're younger and you've gone through like any sort of trauma and I would honestly argue that this isn't doesn't have to be like considered trauma just anything bad ever how so often like as you get older the the issues that people face is that their boundaries are flipped so they'll keep the bad in and the good out so like when you're see someone it's like oh you should date them they're really good but you're so afraid of that and you're so like your boundaries are reversed so you push them away wow push the good away and you keep the bad in and then since the bad inside you you're feeding off the bad so that's crazy that's some straight-up psychological stuff right there I know psychology 101 lesson from psychology 101 everyone I think for me lately like God's been teaching me just like rest and like just being still and trusting him a lot of times I'm trying to take everything in my own hands and control the situation do this and that and it's just like sometimes like God just slaps me in the face he's like no if you're not gonna rest I'm gonna freaking make you rest like I don't know if you saw cuz I was super sick like a week ago and God literally like made me rest where I had to I couldn't work out couldn't like do anything and then finally like I felt restored I was like my soul is restored my body is so like really just being still knowing that he is the Lord and he has gotten he has everything control is just what I've been learning a lot lately and I'm like so there's no peace and comfort in that there really is yeah huge thing for me and like learning like there's this whole thing I could literally talk about this for like three hours but like rest is holy and like also if you want things to be blessed like holy like whatever obedience like blessing comes after obedience and that is like an obedience thing I also feel like as youtubers like we are our own bosses yeah and we just work work work and we'd feel bad if we don't if we take off yeah that we feel like oh there's no there's like no one if I don't work then who's gonna do this for me nobody so I feel guilty when I take off and so that's why literally for the past two years straight every dang day just like going going going going until you finally like life just smatching the face and it's like you need to just rest and it's like a kind of a pride thing we're almost you're like oh no no no I can't take a day off I have to grind up to work I'm my own boss but in the end like it's not healthy for you mentally at all I think the whole idea of like grinding and working yourself to death is so toxic dude yes and I also think that's striving and like that's a whole other thing but like striving is not the move so yeah I know that's really good yeah I kind of like a whole video of like talking kind of about like what does it look like to take care of yourself mentally and like physically and spiritually because like really if you have physically spiritually mentally all those like in a line then like you can be kind of like a perfect triangle that's like whole and wholesome and like be a whole person yeah a whole person like you need to have this all in alignment and I would love to do a video just kind of like discussing that what can you do steps to take because I think it's really important that's really good boys and how they suck we've already discussed this plenty of times you know like we're talking about this earlier and I'm like I really like genuinely just wish that I knew who I was gonna marry so I could put all this to rest yeah I just I don't let the whole dating process yeah we talked about that at lunch rash like dating process absolutely sucks because you could be potentially wasting six months a year with someone that you don't even marry and then you break up and then you're like now I have to start this all over again you know what I like really have just been like not struggling with like just thinking about is like I cannot tell you the amount of couples that I like look up to and I really love and they'll tell you the story of how they like started dating whatever and like the beginning was like rough or like they did stuff that I was just like wait what like yeah things that I wouldn't put up with now necessarily so then I'm like and then I'm taught to not put up with that but then I'm like but wait but you did in the new yeah what if it does work but then when you're in the process everyone's like stay away from him don't yeah break up don't be together it's like but like what if we are meant to be yeah and like what if like such a risk you always take I don't like that that's something else I'm learning right now okay staying in the moment this is something that I am so bad at but I cannot like I literally cannot stay in the moment to save my life not like I can be present that's different but staying in the moment okay so like if I let's say I'm like talking to a boy right if this is just there's so much more than talking to a boy this is just the easiest way to explain it but I went there from my directors last week is really good anyways um let's say I'm talking to a boy and then I'm like oh I don't really like how he's treating me well okay that's like a good excuse but like I'm like oh I just don't really know where this is going what is this gonna be like a year from now or whatever so instead of just like staying in the moment and seeing what happened I'm like you know what no I'm gonna protect myself and I'm gonna dip out yeah have you trying to guard yourself yeah and it's like it's literally you're crazy cuz then I'm like you're never gonna happen yeah they're gonna happen life is so unexpected so you're not staying in the moment you're removing yourself from something that could be like a miracle or could be like the best thing never happened to you but because I'm so like fearful of what could possibly go wrong yeah I pull myself out of it it's bad I think but it's good to not lead by feelings but it's also good to lead by like wisdom and counsel yeah and just also like does the situation bring me peace or does this bring me more confusion and like I think ultimately because like I was go back to the verse like God is not the author of confusion like in a moment when you're evaluating this boy or whatever you're doing like does this bring me peace and is there a blessing in this is their fruit coming from the situation and from this person yeah we can't talk about that a little bit earlier but I think that's really just like applicable and a good way to tell if it's really from God or not or if it's beneficial or not that's haha don't check in our questions online so all of my faith is like why can't you ask me other things dude same I don't all like Texas and faith yeah God bless Texas everyone yeah we love what made you start a YouTube channel like Megan Parkin Megan Parkin was like my I loved her she was my hero yeah I literally worshiped Megan Parkin yeah I'm Megan if you're watching this like I love her God no I know she would you comment on my Instagram post like still is that I'm like she's honestly so sweet though like she's like the nicest person ever she really really isn't like I watched one of her recent videos about like the fakeness or like the um and basically she was talking about how like all these youtubers jumped on the trends train made all these fake over saturated videos and then they all started becoming irrelevant I was like sounds familiar like can't relate even though I totally can and so I watched me yeah like I know you're talking as a whole about all that and she's totally right that like she was freaking spot on that video that like I haven't talked to Megan in so long and I actually texted her being like girl I know we haven't talked in a while but I should let you know that video freaking spoke to me you were straight preaching remember I like her videos like her ex-wife and Justin I was like waiting by my computer screen for her to post a video and it's funny cuz like YouTube wasn't really big then like not like what it was now and people like in my like everyone knew who Megan Park it was yeah have you taken an Instagram test do you remember we were with Alicia and Nikki and they were like take it and it's the numbers I don't think I ever took it okay you have to take it I took it yesterday okay so I remember the achiever I'm the exact same personality type of Alicia and Taylor and then wow which is the supporter but it's crazy if you guys have taken them let us know like what you are down below I need to do it no I did like a bunch of compatibility is like I did my car I did mine with Taylor's mine with Joseph's mine with Joseph is spot on like to the point where it's like weird even last night like he read half of it and I was like wait have you I was like do you think that I'm like this and this and then he was just like uh yeah and I was like that's our compatibility said I knew it like it's I need to do that no it's like actually insane I'm here I sort of do that now it's crazy and apparently there's like a podcast you can listen to them yeah it's unreal so I'm a three am I winged to like regret in life like you now and you're like the only thing that I would really regret is if I've like poorly handled a situation and I feel like I used to react really emotionally like quickly so and just in any situation where I like reacted emotionally but now you're so unfazed no I'm so so like it takes a lot to get me like really like brought up about something like I think it's cool but I like I had to work I'm not naturally like that like naturally I'm like okay yeah like I couldn't really tell you the last time that I was like mad or would even like I just don't like I just don't want no I definitely like I still feel the emotions I just don't react to them yeah like my somewhat like this person that I love no no your feelings are real but they're not always true so just because you do feel that but that does not mean they're true yeah so like I found just so often to like if I just sleep on something I wake up the next morning I don't even care so then I'm like mmm you know pretty cool quality that you have though but that guy that definitely takes a lot of like no it is a plan to get up to that it was a lot of that what I need to make sure she needs to make her own car Alexa take me to the freaking mall and she just drives you there and you don't do anything now we're really not yeah that's the future right there is a little partner like alongside with you because I'm nice you know I think that a lot in order to like enter into a relationship though like you have to be like very secure you know being okay with yourself yeah alone being alone and yourself in your calling like you have to be extremely secure yeah because you don't want to codependent relationship yeah like that that is like what I think like scares me but I've been one of those before like been there like that I don't know I feel like something that actually like really does scare me is that I don't want to like date someone and then like think that I'm gonna marry them and then like not marry them and then have to like start over so yes so like I just seriously I just like need someone to just tell me who I'm gonna like marry what's like your old stuff like like what are like some deal breakers for you and a guy like I don't mind I have mine now they recently changed okay they recently change again in the next three months so I switch them up all right she's wisely yeah no no someone who knows what they want that doesn't mean that they have to be like crazy successful right now but knows what they want in regards of like a relationship so they're not just like stringing me along who knows what they want like for themselves for their lives whatever it doesn't mean that they have to be like making those money like doing whatever it just means they like have and they have ambitions they have ambition and they're driven and they like they're out there at least try exactly so important so important someone who's secure uh-huh so secure themselves and they're calling and also it is so hard when you do something like we do with guys who are insecure because it's like they get they're super weird about it they're super like oh yeah they can not handle it some guys just can't I've had so many guys tell me that yeah I don't know about this whole YouTube thing I'm like all right then bye yeah literally it's just like it's really frustrating and if you can't if you're not secure then like you can't be happy for me or like whatever like I want to only like build up the person that I'm with mm-hmm and like if they're doing better than me that's awesome I would rather them do better than me I don't want us to be like capped out like we should know everyone should be both striving to be doing more better yeah I want the best for them even that's better than I'm doing like I don't know I just don't understand that and then someone who is very like humble so someone who is like humility how's humility is quick to like own up to something is quick to make something right quick to like not hold on to a fence stuff like that so those are your makers but what what about like deal breakers I've never really thought about that straight I don't want your deal breaker I don't know if I have all I don't know what I would say for me like I just cannot stand as super cocky guy like if he's always checking himself out if you post shirtless selfies if he knows it looks good and he's always just in himself himself only once talk about himself doesn't like I went on this one date oh my gosh I want this date like last year and this guy was the one who's like hey let's go get coffee and I was like okay cool only talked about himself the whole time I would be in the middle of a sentence who cut me off and talk about himself I was like like I was so taken back I was like so we're here to talk about you we're not even here to talk about like me and you or anything of like he was not interested in what I had to say it was only about what he wanted I thought that was so you're unattractable unattractable unattractable unattractable over it over it we're over it yeah I think mine would be someone who's selfish too that even now like I'll notice things in someone and I'm like we're back the battery died we're back we're back we're back okay I think my deal breaker though is insecurity and then selfishness because also like if you're more confident in the guy that he's always gonna be insecure that like you're gonna go out like maybe you're just like out with your friends and then like a guy approaches you and they're like did you talk to him like they're gonna be super insecure that you like leave them for someone like better because they're not confident who they are even though like you would never do that but that's like out of their own insecurity you know yes I'm just like protecting on you I think too somebody's like just secure and like where you stand with them yeah just like oh they are intentional that's like the word like every Christian intentional don't even get me started dude but it really is true I would look loop at some point sure let's go with Canyon okay wait I was gonna end this because the camera the camera is dying love you guys so much with another video engineers channel check it out check it out we talked there more subscribe Instagram link down below all that jazz love you guys so much thanks for watching