 Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Anderson's, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. An ancient Greek philosopher named Anonymous once gave out with the following, which we quote, There's nothing gives you a lift like a gift. There's nothing cures a rift like a gift. And duchess or peasant, you can make her more pleasant with a present. Cute, huh? On the other hand, the ancient Trojans had a warning which said, Beware the Greeks bearing gifts. Makes it sort of confusing, doesn't it? And if that isn't confusing enough, a half-hour spent with Jim Anderson and his family will get you as mixed up as a wrestler's torso, only more so, like this. Margaret! Honey, I'm home! Mom's out, Dad. Oh, hello, bud. Where'd she go? I don't know. I think she went to a PTA meeting or something. That's nice. Where are the girls? They're around someplace. Say, Dad. We're up here. Hello, Kitten. Bye. Thank you, Betty. She's been home. Say, Dad, you know what I did today? I cleaned out the garage. No. I sure did. And you know what else I did? I burned all the waste paper and I carried out the cans. All right, bud. Where is it? What? Where's the sale? What sale? On gasoline scooters. I didn't say there was a sale. I know. But where is it? At the bicycle shop. Well, what else is new? Mr. Todd Wilder says he'll give you a wonderful deal. I bet he will. And he's got one that's hardly even been used. Practically. Almost. Yes, sir. Tell me what we'll do, bud. Let's forget about it right now. And then after dinner. Yes. After dinner, we'll forget about it some more. Is this all the mail? Holy cow, Dad. I'm 15 years old. I guess this is all the mail. And how would you feel if you were 15 years old? Wait a minute, bud. What's this? What? This box. Where did it come from? I don't know. Oh, Kathy said it was on the porch. It's for you. Thank you very much. Maybe if you pay a little more attention to it. Oh, no. What's the matter, Dad? Get back. It's allowed to explode. It's what? Get back. What is it? I don't know. I think it's a necktie. A necktie? Yeah, it's a necktie, all right. How can a necktie explode? Well, I hate to do this to you, but look at it. Hey, that's beautiful. Of all the... It's what? Is that ever keen? A hand-painted tiger. In a purple jungle. Boy, what I'd give for a tie like that. Bud, are you serious? Oh, sure. Gosh, I never saw anything like that in my whole life. I don't think that anyone ever did. You mean you don't like it? That's one way of putting it. Then what did you buy it for? Buy it. I wouldn't buy a thing like this if... wasn't there a card or something with it? I don't know. Kathy brought it in. Kathy! You want me, Daddy? Yes, will you please come down here for a minute? OK. There must have been a card or a note or something. Daddy fixed it. It looks fine. Kitten, wasn't there a note with this box? I don't think so. You mean it came just like this? Oh, no. It had wrapping paper on it. I see. Well, where is it? Where's what? The wrapping paper. I'd like to know where it came from. Well? I don't know. You don't know what? Where it is. Boy, what a not-head. Never mind, Bud. You keep out of this. Yes, sir. Kathy, in the first place, you had no right to open a package that wasn't meant for you. But I needed the paper to design doll dresses. Well, we won't worry about it now. What happened to the paper? I made doll dresses out of it. Well, go get them. Betty threw them away. Good grief. I didn't do it, Daddy. Betty said I was getting the room all messed up. I don't know, Betty. Yes, Father? Where did you throw Kathy's doll dresses? What? Where did you throw? Will you please come down here? OK. If I told you once, I've told you a hundred times, don't open things that don't belong to you. But I didn't open it. I just took the paper off it. That's the same thing, isn't it, Bud? You told me to keep out of it. Bud. Hi, Father. What's all the shootin' for? Betty, where did you throw the wrapping paper? What wrapping paper? The paper I was making doll dresses out of. Why does Father want doll dresses? I don't want doll dresses. I want the paper. It was wrapped around the tie. What tie? This tie. Betty, stop being ridiculous. Well, how would you like it if somebody waved a tiger in front of your nose? Where is the paper? I, oh, I put it in the wastebasket in the kitchen. Well, now we're getting someplace. But I burned it. You what? I burned the paper. Remember, I told you I did all that stuff? Why do these things happen to me? I'll get it. The first time in 10 years he's done anything without being threatened, then he had to pick today. We didn't know it was important, Father. Of course not. Nothing that belongs to me is ever important. Well, that sounds natural. Mommy! I'll take the packages, Mom. Thank you, dear. Margaret, do you know what these children have done? Not yet, dear, but I'm sure it was perfectly horrible. Take the packages into the kitchen, Bud, like a good boy. OK, Mom. No. What's the latest tragedy? I didn't do it on purpose, Mommy. She never does anything on purpose. She took the paper off this box, and now I don't know where it came from. Where what came from? This. Oh, dear. Isn't it awful, Mother? Well, it's certainly different. Who said it? Margaret, that's what I've been trying to tell you. I don't know. Kathy threw the wrappings away. I didn't, Daddy. Betty did. I didn't burn them. That's right. Blame the whole thing on me. Well, it isn't very important, is it, dear? Of course it is. Somebody sent me a present, and now I can't even thank them. For that? Betty, it's the spirit behind the gift that counts. And if somebody thinks enough of me to send me a present, isn't that a miserable-looking thing? Jim, don't you have any idea who could have said it? Not the slightest. Maybe it was Mr. Swanson. Who's Mr. Swanson? He's the janitor at our school. He's colorblind. Why would Mr. Swanson send father a tie? I don't know. If I could only think of somebody who had a reason. Have you had a fight with anybody lately? Betty, really? Maybe they're trying to get even. Maybe you made a bet with somebody. And you lost. Betty, if you don't stop that, you may go to your room. I'm trying to help. Maybe. No, that's ridiculous. What is, dear? Last winter, Austin Sherman was stuck in the snow, and I pulled him out. But he wouldn't wait this long, would he? I hardly think so. That's what I figured. Jim Hathaway. Why would Jim give you a tie? Well, I let him borrow the lawnmower. Oh, that's silly. Yes, dear, it certainly is. Margaret, people don't just leave packages on your porch without a reason. They leave babies. Betty. Maybe somebody was trying to get rid of it. Go, you hot necktie. Say, how about Gribble? He's always trading neckties or sending them to people. Maybe. No, he'd never send a thing like this. I don't know what everybody's kicking about. I think it's pretty. You would. Well, I do. Jim, that's it. What is? I know exactly how you can find out. How? Well, there are probably only two people in the world who would be caught dead wearing that tie. But, and whoever sent it to you. But what's wrong with that? Never mind, bud. Go ahead, honey. So you wear the tie until somebody admires it, and he's the one. Wearing? This? You don't want to insult anyone, do you? But it might take weeks. Can you think of a better way? I suppose not. Why don't we just bury it? Kathy, do you see what you've done? Yes, Daddy. I've got to walk around with this menagerie on my neck. I've got to look at it. I'll wear it. No, dear. This is your father's little problem. Just because, Kathy, I hope this has taught you a lesson. Oh, yes, Daddy. It has. Next time, I'll save the paper and make dresses out of the tie. Margaret, I'm home. We're in the kitchen, dear. Neck ties. You walk around for years, and nobody even knows if you've got a neck. All of a sudden, everybody in the world starts to look at neck ties. A bunch of wise guys. Hi, you dad. Hi, Daddy. Hello. Hello, dear. Well, let's not look so glum. Hello, honey. That's more like it. We'll have dinner. Why, Jim, where's your tie? Right here. I mean, that isn't the one you wore this morning. No, the menagerie's gone. Holy cow. Jim, you didn't. Oh, no, I took it. Hour after hour, I took it. But I hung on to Tiger Lil. Then what happened? I found somebody who liked it. There, you see? Mother, you're a genius. Hooray for our side. Now, wait a minute. Let's not get all excited. I still don't know who sent it. But, Jim, you sent it. I said somebody liked it. Mr. Gribble. But if he liked it. He liked it so much, he offered to swap ties with me. Father, he didn't. He certainly did. Naturally, I couldn't refuse him. You know how touchy he is. And now it's gone. That's right. And I'll never find out who sent it. Oh, dear. Probably a client who will never talk to me again. Daddy, I'm awfully sorry. I know, kitten. It was just one of those things. Well. Margaret, yoo-hoo. Good grief. Lend-lease Annie. It's Ms. Woody. I know, dear. Come on in, Dorothy. Don't say anything to her about the necktie or she'll spread it all over town. Jim, please. I'll only be a second so everybody keep right on doing what you're doing. Hello. Hi, Dorothy. Margaret, you know how I hate to do this, but could you let me have half a cup of sugar? Of course. Betty, I brought the cup. That was thoughtful. Go ahead, Betty. Get Mrs. Woody a cup of sugar. She said half a cup. Well, a good half a cup. Margaret, I'm so upset I could spit. Now what's wrong? All that garment's department store. Imagine, tell me they delivered it. Delivered what? Well, Sam's birthday present. And I picked it out so carefully, too. All hand-painted and everything. Hand-painted? Yes. And I said to them, don't tell me it was delivered. I know when a thing's delivered. And they said, maybe one of the neighbors snitched it. Can you imagine that, Dorothy? And I said, I've known my neighbors longer than you have, and I trust them with a lot more than a $25 present. $25? That's what I told them. Here's your sugar, Ms. Woody. The nerve of them telling me it was delivered. Thanks, Betty. You're welcome. Well, I got to go. Thanks for the sugar, Margaret. That makes it two cups and an egg. Jim, do you suppose? $25. It isn't our fault, is it, Daddy? Kathy, when are you going to do anything right? I thought it was on our porch. $25? You see, I said it was pretty. Well, now, is that hand-painted tie a beauty or a monstrosity? Who's right, father or bud? The answer seems to be that it's simply a matter of opinion. On some matters, though, you'll find practically unanimous agreement. For example, I think you'll agree with me that the enjoyment of truly good coffee is one of the most satisfying pleasures of everyday life. That's why it seems ashamed to settle for less than coffee with the most in flavor, the wonderful good to the last drop flavor of Maxwell House coffee, bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand at any price. Now, only Maxwell House has that superb flavor, and there's a good reason why. You see, there are all kinds and grades of coffee beans growing all over the world. But Maxwell House insists on the choice extra flavor coffees, the kind that are grown on mile high plateaus in Latin America. Of these, the Maxwell House people select fancy Manizales coffees for fragrant mellowness, superb medallions for extra richness, and choice Bucaramangas coffees for fine full body. Then these choice vintage coffees are blended in just the right proportions to produce that one and only good to the last drop flavor. No other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no coffee is made like Maxwell House. So do this. Pour yourself one cup of our Maxwell House coffee. Enjoy that true taste of contentment. I'm sure you'll say that man was so right. Maxwell House is the one, the only coffee that's always good to the last drop. On Saturday in the city of Springfield, retail stores like Gorman's open for business at 9 o'clock. At 9.01, therefore, we find our friend Jim Anderson on the phone. He's talking to a clerk in the haberdashery department. And you can bet they aren't discussing the hunting season in northern Somaliland. Or are they? No, I said tiger, T-I-G-E-R, tiger on a tie. No, a tiger on a tie. Look, will you please give me the manager of the department? Oh, you are. Well, don't you know what kind of neckties you have? It's sort of a sick purple with a large tiger in the middle. Hand-painted. I don't want sea horses. I want an orange tiger with green stripes. Well, it's got to have some color stripes, doesn't it? This one happened to be green. Look, I don't care where you wouldn't wear it. I just want. No, all I want is a purple tie with. But all I want is. But thank you very much. Now what am I going to do? Are they going to send it out, dear? The man said they never had a tie with a hand-painted tiger. Oh, dear, I'll bet it was a special order. Leave it to Dorothy. She couldn't pick out a simple thing to have delivered to the wrong place. She has to have special orders. Did you get the tie, daddy? No, I didn't get the tie, daddy. Jim, please. Well, why does she have to sound so happy about it? I didn't do anything today. Well, it's still early. Did they have one, father? Oh. Betty, why don't you and Kathy finish the breakfast dishes? We did. What did we do now? Nothing, Betty. It's just that I'm a little upset this morning. You'll have to be patient with me. He's getting old. Oh, she here. Jim, let's concentrate on the top. Well, what right does she have to? You know, maybe I am getting old. I don't seem to be able to take these things like I used to. You never could? But, honey, other people have children in homes and neighbors, and they don't get mixed up in things like this. I know, dear. Nobody else in the whole world gets mixed up with orange tigers and Dorothy Woody. Maybe we're just lucky. Oh, sure. Father, have you thought of asking Mr. Gribble to give the tie back? I've thought of everything up to and including mayhem. Who's she? She is what I'm liable to commit if you do anything like this again. Oh, I didn't. What? How about asking Mr. Gribble? I can't. Dear, maybe if you explain to him. But, honey, he made such a fuss over the tie. I had to take it off right in the middle of the restaurant. I know, but maybe if you explain. He wouldn't do the least bit of good. That old skin friend can smell a bargain three miles away. He knew what he was doing. Well. Dad. Now what? Dad, hey, Dad. Bud, what is it? Dad, I saw him. All right, Bud, take it easy. You saw who? Mr. Davis, I saw him. He was mowing the lawn. Oh, for a Pete's sake. Jumping creepers. You'd think something happened. But he's right there with the tie. What? Wait a minute, please. Bud, what are you talking about? Mr. Davis, he's got the tie. I saw him. Are you sure? Now let's keep calm. Let's not get excited. But are you sure it's our tie? Sure, I'm sure. Because I remember the tiger was cock-eyed. Bud. Well? I want to go see. No, Kathy, wait. What? This is going to take a little diplomacy. And you'd better stay here, all of you. Jim, won't it be easier if you just tell Ed the truth? And have him hold it over me the rest of my life? Don't worry, honey. I'm an old hand at this horse trading business. I'll do all right. Can't I go with you, Dad? I found the tie. Bud, please. I'll handle it better if I'm alone. Holy cow. I don't know, dear. I still think. Margaret, will you please stop worrying? We're practically in. All right, Jim. I just hope you know what you're doing. Good luck, Father. So long, Daddy. I'll only be a few minutes. Yes, sir. Everything's going to be all right. Yes, indeed. Hello there, Ed. Ed. What? You say something, Jim? I said hello. Oh, hello. Hold it a second, will you, Ed? I want to talk to you. Jim, I've got to get the lawn mowed, or I can't play golf. So would you please make it snappy? All right. I guess this will be about the last time. We'll be cutting the grass this year, won't it? Just about. Yes, sir. Just about the last time. Is that all you wanted to tell me? Oh, no. Well, you see, I... Look, you figure it out, and I'll catch you the next time around. No, no, wait a minute. I say that's quite a tie. Yeah, that's a dove, isn't it? Hey, you got a cigarette? You bet. There you are, pal. Thanks. Keep them all. I just want... Go ahead, keep them. I've got a whole carton inside. OK, thanks a lot. Yes, sir, that's quite a tie. What's on your mind, Jim? Why, nothing. Ed, I just haven't seen you all week, and I thought maybe we ought to have a little chat. That's all. Oh, nothing in particular, though. No, nothing in particular. Fine, I'll see you later. Ed, wait a second. About that tie... Well, what about it? How'd you like to swap? Oh, no. What do you mean, oh, no? Just what I said, I don't want to swap. Now, look, Ed, it's... You have to, it's the code. Who said so? I said so. If somebody offers to trade ties, well, how can you say no? Well, it's easy. Ed, will you please listen to me? What for? You aren't saying anything. Look, Ed, we've been friends and neighbors for a long time, and... I don't want to swap neckties. Now, will you please let me cut the grass? Why don't you want to swap neckties? Because I like this one. But it doesn't suit your personality. You're too kind to wear a tiger. Jim, I know what you're up to, and it won't work. Well, Ed, you sound as though you don't trust me. You know I got this tie in a swap with Gribble, and I'm not trading it for any two-bit necktie you've got on. Two-bit? This is the tie I got. It's a very expensive tie. Okay, you keep it, and I'll keep this one. But... You know, Ed, you drive a very hard bargain. I'll give you this tie and two bucks. I don't want a bargain. I just want to keep the tie. I've got it. How about five bucks? What's the matter with you? Nothing's the matter with me. Will you take 750? I don't want... How about 10? It's a deal. Oh, no, wait a minute. It's a deal. You said you'd take 10. Well... Okay, as soon as I... Here's mine. Now, let me have yours. Well, what's a big rush? We made a deal, and... Come on, Ed, please hurry. Okay. Here. Thanks, Ed. I'll see you later. And don't forget, you owe me 10 bucks. You bet, pal. What a character. 25 bucks for a cockeyed tiger. So help me, some people ought to have their brains examined. I got it! Jim, what's the matter with you? You get to tell me who it was, but leave it alone. You'll tear it. Jim, you can't give it back like that. Why not? Look at it. It's all wrinkled. Well, naturally, everybody in town's been wearing it. Father, I think it's got a spot on it. With this tie, how can you tell? It does have a spot, Jim. See? Where? Right there. Oh, who noticed a little thing like that? Maybe we can get it out, Mother. Well, we'll try. Let's go into the kitchen. I think it'd look better if he got the tiger out, too. What do you know about ties? I was the one who knew it was valuable. Honey, do you suppose you can get some of the wrinkles out? I think so, dear. But will you get the ironing board out for me like a good boy? You bet. I'll help you, bud. Never mind. I can do it alone. Margaret! Oh, my gosh. Jim, put the tie away. Where? Anywhere. Margaret, why don't you see what I got? It's the most beautiful. Why? Nothing. We're just standing here. Aren't we, kids? Sure, Daddy. You look so pale. Well, what do you think of this? It's beautiful, isn't it? Oh, yes. Yeah. What is it? It's a hand-painted pipe rack. I got it for Sam's birthday. Isn't it gorgeous? Pipe rack? But you said? And believe me, I gave that Gorman's a piece of my mind. This work was delivered. It was on the truck all the time. Imagine. Oh, Jim. Wait a minute. Dorothy, look. What about this necktie? Oh, did you get one of those, too? What do you mean, too? They've been throwing those on portraits all over the neighborhood. Father. Throwing them on $25 necktie? Oh, no, it's that new mail order house on Spring Street. If you don't like the tie, you send it back. Or you can keep it and send them $1.29. It's all written on the wrapper. But I told Sam that we'd have that mail. When you buy coffee, above all, you're looking for flavor. Isn't that so? Rich, tempting, full-bodied flavor. And that's the reason more people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than any other brand at any price, for it's wonderful good to the last drop flavor. That's why I say start serving our Maxwell House to your family. Watch their happy response to that truly satisfying taste of contentment in every fragrant steaming cup of our coffee. Then just count all the cups of really good coffee you get from each pound. You'll know Maxwell House is your best coffee buy. This weekend, then, for the most in flavor, in value, look for the big white cup and drop on the familiar blue tin. Take home Maxwell House, the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. It's breakfast time again in the White Frame House on Maple Street, and a very unusual breakfast it is. Everything's peaceful and calm, and there isn't a single problem in sight like this. You better hurry, Kathy, or we'll be late for church. I'll be finished in a minute, mommy. Do you suppose there'll be time for me to have another cup of coffee? I wouldn't be a bit surprised. There you are, dear. Thank you. May I have the cream and sugar, please? Go ahead, Thai expert. Pass the cream and sugar to father. Dad, make her stop picking on me. Thai expert. Betty, leave him alone. He's, well, leave him alone. Nobody ever leaves me alone. Why should they leave him alone? You drink your milk. Yes, daddy. Jim, you know, I've been thinking. Today is Sam Woody's birthday. Congratulations. Well, what I mean is we've known Sam a long time, and I just wondered if we shouldn't get him some little things. I've already taken care of it, dear. Jim, you didn't. Father, did you give him the tiger? Well, Mr. Gribble liked it, and Mr. Davis liked it, and it cost me $11.29. Oh, Jim. Was he happy, daddy? What'd he say? Well, it was very strange. He said, Jim, you shouldn't have done it. And you know, I had a feeling he meant it. Wow, look at that shape. Huh? Where? That mold of fruit rich jello. Terrific, so colorful and shimmery. Tastes even better. Here, have some. Fruit rich is ripe. All six jello flavors remind me of the orchard and the berry patch. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. All easy, easy to fix, and thrifty, thrifty to buy. That's jello for red-letter desserts. Ladies and gentlemen, nearly 4 million young drivers are now members of the Robert Young Good Drivers Club. By signing a man-to-man or dad-to-daughter agreement with their parents, they have pledged themselves to observe eight basic safety rules. If you've not already sent for your copy of the agreement form and club card, we invite you to join in this important campaign to improve our nation's safety record. Write to Robert Young in care of this NBC station. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best. Starring Robert Young is Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy and the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast for Gene Vanderpile is Margaret, Rhoda Williams, Ted Donaldson, Norma Jean-Dillson, Marie Blake, Barney Phillips, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jane. Join Mr. Keen, Tracer of Lost Persons, tonight on NBC.