 bring up these four questions in the book as a way to unpack what's going on in these conversations. So I'd love to walk through them. The first one is desires. If you think about a difficult conversation or a strong opinion you have, stop and ask yourself, what am I looking for? What do I want here? Because we have desires that are so, again, so automatic for us, who are so embedded in our thinking that we forget to surface them. So desires can be great, goals can be great, because they inspire us to do things and get things done. But we also have desires that are unrealistic, that don't line up with reality. By just asking ourselves, what do I want? If we can say, oh, I want, what I want is X, but Y is happening. And so that tension between reality, Y is what's happening. X is what I want. You're never going to get X out of this because Y already happens. So you're like in a battle with reality, and that's a good definition of insanity. Desires are a good thing, but they're also a trap. You know, I want that person to be different. I want my spouse to do it my way, not her way. Or I want my leader to behave this way and not that way. And you might find yourself in a position where you don't like, you don't have a standard, or you don't like what your leader is doing or what he's trying, his goals are. But you don't have authority. Then one of the other questions is, you don't have the authority to change him. He gets to make the call. Like it or not, the reality is he makes the call. And so desires are tricky things. It was in Buddhism that our desires are where our suffering comes from. The flip side of that is then also looking at the position of authority and saying, well, what are their desires? Right? And how can I better align the two? Because oftentimes we're acting from an internal desire. And as you said, it's subconscious. It's hardwired into a lot of our behavior patterns. And because of that, we will often ascribe similar desires on others because it feels so strongly internally in our own. But if you actually take a beat, take a step back and go, well, what are the authority's desires? Was the desire to really build the pink car or was the desire to have a joke in a light moment with the group? Right? Have a laugh. And if we're not thinking through our own desires and in tune with our own desires, it then becomes even more difficult to tune into the desires of others around us. And when we're thinking about where do we want to end up if it's in desires and certainly with a lot of our clients, when they're talking about being that much better socially, they tend to think about the most social person they know and start desiring those outcomes, which they're they're not familiar with the steps that took to get to that outcome. So this yes, and so we have this compare and contrast issue. And a lot of times when we break that down, we begin to find out that, okay, well, that's a great desire. That's a great goal. And we can start working there. The last time you went out, how many people did you speak to? And they're like, well, I didn't speak to anybody. Okay, well, we're going to start with one. And we're going to we're going to start working our way up by asking those questions, get a little bit more clarity on that. You're like, Oh, perhaps my those desires aren't so realistic.