 Sweet Jesus, is that Cletus Cornwood? It is. It is Cletus Cornwood. Yeah, look at that. New apartment. Damn door. Wouldn't open. Well, you mean I'm okay? Of course I'm okay. I just moved back here. I've been gone for a few years and I gotta get my feet under me. I gotta get my bearings under me, okay? All right. Mr. K, do you need a ride? Oh, shit. What the hell happened to this city? Damn crackheads walking around. I wonder if there's a way I can like sneak into the PD. Oh, perfect. Armory. Okay. Uh-huh. Okay, everything's in order here. Yeah, I think you need to be police to be able to interact with anything. You're not caught. They wiped the server. They wiped the server and there was like a five-year time skip. It's like the lore. Dude, it's so funny that somebody left the door open. Dude, is that not the most Cornwood thing ever? To go to the PD? How do I sit? What the hell? Howdy, sir. Howdy. Can I help you? Can I help you? Captain Slacks, what am I speaking with? Captain Slacks? My name's Cleetus Cornwood. There's no way in hell you're Cleetus Cornwood. The stories I read about Cleetus Cornwood is a tall, handsome man built like a Greek statue, football player statue, built like a wall. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right. What the heck is this guy? I look at you and I'm wondering if you give me a pass of physical. You know, I used to play football. These texts is Baptist University. You know that, right? What position? Wide receiver, ran a 4240. I don't believe you. What the hell do you mean you don't believe me? First of all, you're trespassing. Get your ass over here. Let me see your ID. How the hell am I trespassing? Look, first off, this pen is a, I've tried to sign in. The damn pen don't work. It's out of ink. Number two, I come in here and there ain't nobody working. It's a dad gum travesty. Okay. I check the jail cell. There ain't no damn criminals in jail. I go, I check the damn evidence room. There ain't no damn evidence. What the hell is going on here? Well, Cletus is a lot we need to talk about. First of all, I don't believe you're Cletus Cornwood. Okay. I got to make sure I do a background check, verify that and then give you keys. Okay. Also, you need to, we need to rent to the hospital and do a physical. Okay. Well, here's my question to you. If I ain't Cletus Cornwood, then how the hell did I get in this building? That's a really good question. I'm about to know. Yeah, I'm surprised. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, Christ, Denzel, you want to tell us Cletus? What happened? Yeah, I walked in. It's my God giving a lot. No, not for me. It wasn't manifest destiny. Amen to that. Well, it's good because if you want to get on duty, there's some steps you got to take. Cletus, are you ready? Yeah, I can do that. I mean, hell, I mean, you want me to show you something? No, I need you to prove to me that you are Cletus Cornwood because I'm looking at your name on my list and he says there's a lot of quality description about you here. We've done a background check on you and that's some information I have. So I look at the information listed down here on my clipboard. I look at you. I'm wondering if I'm looking at the same person. I'll get your ass behind or over here. Climb this counter right here so we can head to the hospital and do your physical. Cornwood is back. Come on. What's your football player? Yeah, I don't want to make it numb. Look, look, listen, here's what you got to understand. I respect my area. Okay. And this damn P.D. I built this thing my own two hands. Maybe not this thing because they remodeled it a little bit. Okay. And I'm not going to disrespect this area right here and get my feet up all on the counter. My mama taught me not to do that. All right. So I'm going to go around gracefully. Hold on. You passed the first test. We should probably look this way. Cletus. This is the door. Oh, it opens only one way. Okay. That's probably what happened. Okay. All right. All right. Follow me. Come on. Let me give you a little bit of the backstory as far as what's going on. I'm not sure the Los Santos you really should remember but this one is a lot different. A lot of change. Our police department got defunded. The sheriff's office got defunded. The state troopers got defunded. Los Santos decided to focus on the LSPD as a main department they want. And then there'll be future expansion where, you know, the blank county sheriff's office will come in. That's my cop car. Well, you want me to drive? Do you remember how to drive? How could I forget? Man, this is a damn thing. You remember your ABCs, right? Yeah. Okay. Kite, get well soon. Oh, Jesus. God, you just... Hold on. All right, here, I got this. Give me one second now. Kite, is this automatic? Is this manual or automatic? This is automatic, but it's got... Oh, I'm going to drive manual here. Maybe you should drive. What do you mean you don't have to drive automatic? Well, I learned manual. What do you mean? You... You stole it. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right. Yes, sir. That makes sense. The police department, like I said, got defunded. There's going to be a lot of different ways and efforts and fundraisers we got to go through for the civilians' help. The problem is, everybody's broke. Nobody's got money. So even if we're trying to start a fundraiser, try to get more of a better equipment, and nobody donated to the police department. The whole government broke. Look at these damn homeless crack kids. Wait, are they dead or are they asleep? It could be dead or alive, I'm not sure. But it's something in the water for some reason. Oh, I tripped over his leg. I'm sorry. Sorry. He's so punched like Cleaver. Yeah, I tripped over his leg. I'm sorry. Look, hey, this... Yeah, no, it's... Look at his assholes. Like we're at the hospital. Yeah, his assholes knocked down on the ground. Holy fuck, that hurt. I was just trying to catch my balance. Now, what would you say your name was again? Was Slacks? Slack? Leo Slacks. Captain Slacks? Captain Slacks. I'm going to call him Leo. Captain Slacks. That's where they matter to me. Okay. I'm Leon. Cassidy. I didn't ask you what your name was. Okay, sorry. He punched me in the face and you don't even know my name. Slacks. I'm here for our meeting. I'm here for the meeting, but also I got Cleetus... I'm here for a physical... Any doctors for physical? Pixie would know better than we do. You need a PD physical? Yeah, for Cleetus Gord. Alright, let me go. I miss those. Wait, why'd you like doing the physical so much, ma'am? They're fun. I didn't see a doctor, too. Cleetus punched me right in the... Oh, you just got punched? This is your doctor. Oh, yes, hello. Sorry. Oh, this gentleman, okay. You look like you need more than a PD physical. Yeah, I mean, I need a uniform, too, probably. You ready to bust your ass? I'm going to put you to work. I'm going to put you through it. Well, how are you ready to bust your ass, son? Damn, okay, that's a powerful stance. You looking to become the big man again? You trying to climb? You trying to meet the captain? The sheriff and all that shit? Oh, listen, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't care about all that shit. I just care about putting criminals in jail. After I shoot him. That's a good mentality to have. Uh-huh. All right, Corwin, I want to see you do some stretches. I want to see you. I want to see how limber you are. No, I can do. I can do plenty. Get the quad for sips right here. Damn. That's good. That's solid. Solid work. Thank you. Okay. Jesus Christ. We're going to work our way back down to the floor. Yep. Even I can't do that. So that's a good sign. Pretty limber. All right, let me get a timer set up on my phone. I want you to do two laps to the top of the stairs and back down as fast as you can. Okay. Count down from five and then I'll start the timer. Okay. I'm going to get my stance with three point stance here. There, I'll count myself. You got this formwood. Three, two, one, go. You got a head start. You got a little bit of a head start, but I'm not against cheating. Oh, oh, oh, shit, oh, fuck. Peep-a-pop corn, cornwood's back. Let's go. All right, back up and back down. One more cornwood. Careful cornwood. Careful. Is that a vacuum? All right. 44 seconds cornwood. That's not bad. That's actually not bad. Thank you. I saw that. I want to see how long it takes. Yeah. Denzel, you want to run up and down? I got this. I don't need to stretch. He's being over stretched cornwood. All right, take a load off there, cornwood. I just need to... Oh, well, that doesn't count. Denzel! You know, I think I'm going to keep the timer running until I get you back on your feet. I'm going to take a look at you. Luckily, you didn't break anything on the fall, it looks like. That was a tactical roll. Well, it ain't too tactical if you're laying on the ground now. It ain't it. I got one personal thing. I'm going to run you through. I want you to box one of these officers. Well, I got you pretty good earlier, didn't I? Let's do that again, actually. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready, cornwood. I'm ready. You sure you don't? Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah. Come on, corn. Oh, fuck. Oh, oh, my, oh, you, oh, you done did my hat. Okay. Okay. All right. That's disrespectful. It's like a lot. Text. Come on, come on. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. You just my damn hat. You knock, you knock my damn hat off. That's damn disrespectful is what that is. Wait. Is he okay? Yeah, you good? For you, for money. The funniest thing you could possibly do right now is to make it. You got about, you got a bottle of water or some of the form. He smacked the King's English out your fucking mouth. I'm going to be real fucking Christ. The last thing I remember is a fucking boot coming right to my face. Well, that was your fault. Okay, thank you, Dr. Cornwood. I think that's gonna, I think that's gonna conduct, uh, clue the, uh, the PD physical here. All right. I don't know what I think, I think you're more than, more than fit for duty after what I've seen today. Absolutely. You're welcome. All right, gentlemen. Well, we can head back inside and you guys can get back to, uh, protecting the streets. Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, we gotta handle this. Leonard. We're gonna head back that he, he hit his head like really, really fucking bad on the pavement. I can't get him out there. Oh, good lord. He's like wedged in between the balls of his balls. Hey, hey. You might need to take a nap. Hey, oh, oh. Hey, relax your ass, bitch. Oh, shit. Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? Oh, shit. Come on. Oh, wait. Hey. Hey. What just happened? I got, let me take care of this guy. Oh, my God. Oh, the NPCs are going nuts. Hey, leave sort. Oh, you're gonna be sorry. No. I said it. Don't worry, Cor, but I got you. Cletus, first down a job. You were in the hospital bed? No, I'm just taking a nap. I'm fine. Okay. All right. Oh, God. I'm feeling fine. Do you see how much blood is on the floor? Has he been treated? Oh. Let me help you up, okay? What's your name, ma'am? Dr. Valentino. What's your name? Officer Cassidy. Leon Cassidy. All right. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. How are you feeling, mister? Are you okay? All right. I got to treat other patients. I'll see you later. Thank you, Dr. Valentino. No problem. My dog. How are you doing, honey? Hornwood, look under the bed. Look how much you were fucking bleeding. Okay. Let me take a look at you. Oh, my goodness. What happened? Yeah, that's, I mean, that's not my blood. There's no way that's my blood. Whose blood would it be? Let's go outside. All right. Yeah, let's go. Okay. Let's go outside. You feeling all right? Wrong way, Cornwood. That's a wall, Cornwood. Cornwood, you're going. Oh, Lord. I just had a... I was having an out-of-body experience. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know what that was. Wait, did somebody take my hat and glasses? I didn't. Oh, my Lord, here we go. I think they got knocked up. I think they got knocked up. Probably somebody picked it up. We got... That's got to... It's probably out front. Cletus, you all set? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my evaluation was satisfactory. Let's go back to Mr. Opini. Get your old sword. Get your keys. You can saw and do it. Come on. Hey, oh, you want to do this again, son? You want to do this again, son? You got two of them. Oh, God. Cletus. Take the lunch money. Take the lunch money. Come on, Cletus. I'll beat his ass. Oh, oh, sorry. Okay. Oh, no, no, no. That's all I tripped. I tripped. It was one for one. One for one. One for one. All right. Oh, Jesus. Cletus. It's all right. I was trying to give him an extra one. I tripped over his leg again. Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay. I got... It's like a hay maker. Oh, shit. Oh, what the hell is going on? Oh, what the heck? Whoa. Hey. All right. That's good work. Good God. Sir, please fuck off. Not right now. I don't know if that happens. How do I stop bleeding? Okay. I'm not... You know what? I'll be fine.