 I don't know if I'm gonna see this hill situated. A Tony Gaskins here, got a last minute live tonight. Sitting down with my wife and relaxing. Figured I'd jump on here and do it live. You know, I try to do these as often as I can. So y'all gotta forgive me when I can't make it. Try to hop on here. The day I did a video today talking on a serious topic. So make sure you get a chance to watch that. It's one thing I've been noticing a lot lately. It's just women overlooking the red flags, ignoring it. You know, taking it for granted. We were watching a thing on Netflix last night about like all these different sports. And me and my wife started talking about how we were watching somewhere in Florence. I think it was Florence, Italy and these guys play this sport. It's kind of like rugby, soccer, football, but they literally fight bare knuckle, punch each other in the mouth, they clear away so somebody can run the ball up and score. And they do it for no money. And it was just interesting. Cause me and my wife was talking about it. I say, this is the kind of stuff I'd be trying to tell women. This is the kind of stuff men do. Fighting bare knuckle on the field, punching each other in the mouth, tackling each other is no rules. So a man can run and score a goal and they doing it for culture, for history, for tradition. And I say, you know, this really what you're dealing with in a relationship to your Henderson. God bless you now. So that's why I say, you know, you gotta, you can't ignore the red flags. Now remember to put the hashtag Q in front of your message and try to keep the chat clear, clear as possible so I could see the questions. Met this guy, was talking for a month, no kids. And he's single, lots of stipulations. Said I'm too stressful, should run. Absolutely, move on with your life. Move on with your life. T.R. God bless you now. Can you talk about sending closure letters? When I talk about closure letters, I'm really talking about something like, you know, metaphorical, not necessarily actually sending the letter, but really writing the letter for yourself to get it off your chest, to get it out, but not actually sending the letter. Hey, babe. You cut the L. Love. L'Otoya God bless you now. Just wanted to send you a blessing for being a blessing to me. After taking your certification, I started my coaching business. Just finished my first virtual seminar. Thanks Tony, your wisdom has blessed me tremendously. L'Otoya God bless you now. Oh, L'Otoya, okay. And I can tell by that, I can tell by that last name, you grind. That last name sound like the hustling grind. Last name. All right. A little strong last name. Heritage, lineage. God bless you now. When telling a guy about your past, when is it appropriate? When engaged, married, or is boyfriend stage okay? Well, I'll tell you what, don't get too caught up in telling about your past. Because when you ask him about his past, you're not really gonna get much. So your past is your past. The only thing that's relevant to him is what's going to affect him. And you have, you feel it in your spirit when you've built with him enough and he's ready. You'll be able to tell. But don't tell everything. You know, a lot of times when you wanna sit down and be an open book, listen, a man judging your book, he's not gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say, oh, wow, I'm so happy she was so open and honest, he was like, oh, okay, thank you for that. Alrighty, alright, see you later. So, you know, your past is between you and God. That's what God gonna deal with. It ain't, you're not lying to him. You ain't lying to him. It's just everything ain't for everybody. Leave your past in the past. Pretty charged, God bless you. Guy got upset when I called out. His silent treatment said he was having a bad day then accused me of not caring. Went on for me and blocked me. Why? Well, he fed up. You know, he fed up. He was having a bad day. He fed up. I gotta forgive my hydraulics and my children now. It's only God bless you. Just sending thanks again for your guidance. Bless you. So, yeah, buddy fed up. Now, when a man run off like that, you called him out and he run off, let him go on by his business. Jennifer, how did you handle a narcissist? On the wrong one to ask. You know, I do videos and sometimes people tell me that's what I'm describing. I said, no, I ain't, cause I'm not a doctor. That's a clinical term. So, you know, a doctor got to tell you that. What I talk about is grown boys. Some of it might apply, but I ain't no one to say. My boyfriend is friends with his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. They broke up almost seven years ago but still stayed in touch and acted like they were in a relationship. He even went and visited her. Well, you're gonna have an issue with your boyfriend cause he got a soul type with her. He got a soul type with her and he love her. He got love for her. So you're gonna have some issues. You really can't move forward with somebody who's still friends with their ex. It's different if they were married to that person and they have children with them and they still cordial and they keep in touch but in a situation like that, you're gonna have some issues. You know, I made sure, me and my wife got together. She won friends on Facebook with her exes and I won friend on Facebook with my exes. You got to cut all that off and move forward. Tiara, God bless you. Hey, I just got out of a 14 year relationship. He was my one and only. We never got married. I got tired of the cheating and left. I know I need to move on, but it's hard. He was my comfort zone, hell. Well, after 14 years, you're gonna need coaching. You really ain't gonna be able to get that done here after 14 years. You're gonna need about 12 sessions of coaching. So make sure you visit mymentor.life, mymentor.life, not.com, mymentor.life, and get it in your system. Tomorrow, Brown, God bless you. I never send them. I always write them. I wonder if it's weird. Thanks for replying. Nope, that's not weird. That's a release. You writing that letter, that's a release for you because it's really for you, not for them. Prize, treasure, bless you. New member, your messages, sermons have been so cleansing. Thank you, hey, bless you now, bless you. Am I being insecure about it? He says he doesn't need to cut her off with Facebook because he doesn't look her up or comment and like her post. He need to cut off. He need to cut off. He make excuses and yeah, he look up. He look up. He like and unpost when she posts, he see her posts. He trying to keep it up for a reason now. So yeah, he need to cut off. He need, if he can't unfriend his ex on Facebook, he ain't ready to move on, okay? That's come with a relationship. When you break up, you got to go on about your business. Gotta go on about your business. And if he can't do that, he ain't ready to move on. So just go on, stay friends with your ex on Facebook and you gone about your life. You gone about your life. Cause if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn't be cool with you being friends with your ex on Facebook. And if he is cool with it, they'll let you know he gonna be cheating on you with his ex anyways. Point blank period. People try to holler about insecurity, this insecurity know it's human nature. You let a human play with fire, they gonna get burned. You rolling mud, you gonna get up dirty. Point blank period. Ain't no if ands and buts about it. Britney, guy of eight months. Guy of eight months is known for being in the spotlight. The ladies man, he responds and talks to other women via messages as if he wants to get to know them. He says some guys fish for fun, but I'm enough for him, your thoughts. Well, his mouth saying one thing and it legs doing another. So, and fingers doing another. So he lying, okay? If he responding to women in the DM, then he fishing for fun. So what he accused the other guys of doing, and that's what he doing, if I read that right. Amen, Adams, God bless you now. He pushed me away. After five months texting me questions, how am I and I didn't respond and he texted again. What could he be looking for? High ego. Well, yeah, he bored. He bored, he wanna come on by and get it hold me down. He just bored, keep it moving. Keep moving with your life. Coco J. God bless you. Told my ex that he has to marry me within six to nine months. Like you said in the video, he said, why even stay around if I plan to leave if we aren't married? Was I wrong for telling him my timeframe? Yeah, you was wrong for telling him your timeframe and you told it to your ex. So you told your ex y'all not even together. So don't be putting that on me, Coco. You need to listen back to the video cause I ain't tell you to tell your ex no six to nine months. All that right doesn't, I need to listen. You listen back to that. And then if you did tell him that and he say why you even staying around or why you even stay around if I plan to leave if we aren't married, he basically telling you, listen, I'm just coming back to have me a little fun just to keep you stuck so you can't move on just to get me a love. You hear me? Get me a little bit of this here. Ain't nobody coming back to marry you. So once you get that vibe, you get that feeling going about your business gone by your business. Now you're wasting all your time and your timeline is for you. It's not for the man. Cause when you give a man a timeline you showing is you showing your hand and you could be playing yourself cause he may say, oh, you think you tough. You think you want to give a timeline? All right, watch this. I'm gonna marry you, cheat on you, dog you out, divorce you. Ah ha, I got the last laugh. Your timeline is for you. Tall girls rock God bless you. He emotionally cheated and we aren't together right now. He is my husband though. How much time should I give it before getting back together? On emotional cheating, you supposed to be doing the 72 hour rule. That's three days. Woman's influence. Unless the emotional cheating is so bad and you just gonna leave. So a later comment, a later said, if y'all would just read a woman's influence all these questions would be answered. That's the problem. I heard somebody say one time if you want to keep something from a black person put it in a book. I ain't say it. I said I heard it said. If you want to keep something from a black person put it in a book. I ain't say it. So it's a thing. All y'all on here. Five of you read the book. Feed the woman's influence. Then come ask me a follow up question. Tonya, I read a woman's influence. You said this, what did you mean by? You see what I'm saying? We won't answer, but we won't do the work. You know what I mean? But we won't do the work. That's what you got to do. The work, because the work ain't gonna do itself. Brittany, God bless you. Been dating a Christian man. Very frugal. Didn't even buy me a $2 drink. I told him I don't see a future with him because he is so frugal. Retired from the Coast Guard and owns Airbnb. Too cheap to date. Well, you know, that's a personal choice. That's a personal choice. You know, that's how you define a man and that's what you know how you define him. And that's what makes you think he is less than a man than that's a personal choice. One thing I'm gonna tell you about this right here is players spend money. Players spend money. Dogs spend money. Womanizers spend money. If a man bold enough to be frugal with you, when he know women, most women get turned on by a man spending money. When a man bold enough to be frugal with you, that's when you know he authentic. That's when you know you're real. And you gotta be able to appreciate frugality because that lets you know you're never gonna be broke. And it also means you ain't nobody to him. He just met you. So if he goes spending all his money on every woman he meet, he ain't gonna have no retirement. You see what I mean? So you gotta look at it different. You can't just, that's why it's good to come in with your own so that you not even expected nothing from nobody but conversation and love. And when a man love you and he care for you, now he gonna do for you cause that's what you do when you in love. But a lot of men, especially old school men like that, they really just ain't gonna be spending money on every woman they meet. So, but women y'all really get caught up in that and it honestly means nothing. It means nothing. Because men who spend a whole lot of money, they'll be the same men that you're gonna be broke, busted and disgusted with. That you're gonna go broke with then you'll have no retirement fund with. And you'll be like, okay, yeah, I got all these nice bags but now we're in our old age and we both got to go bag groceries at the grocery store till the day we die. Got carpal tunnel from bagging groceries because I'm with a man who want to wine and dine. And trick off. You see what I mean? So you got to look at it different way. It's like, how does he talk to you? How does he spend time with you? What's his energy like? What's his character like? You know, don't just base it solely off money. Don't base it solely off money cause that's when you're gonna end up missing somebody. Cause some men ain't gonna try you like that too. To see if you got a little gold dig in you. Still a God blessing nine but y'all don't wanna hear that nine. That's the one thing y'all don't wanna hear. But hey, y'all don't want all the truth now. Y'all want the truth that feel good to you. You want the truth that sit with your narrative that make you feel good. But I'm telling as a man from the other side. Hey, listen. Stella, God bless you. What do you think of promise rings? My friend proposed to his girlfriend and she bought him a promise ring and told him to plan the wedding himself. Should he have run? Y'all don't know about that one right there Stella. So you don't have to tell your friend to come on here. I don't know. They never heard that. Never heard that. Nobody heard that Stella. I lean, God bless you. He wants to marry me but he also told me how his ex wife invited him to vacation with their daughter to visit their oldest son in Italy. I wasn't comfortable with all that. Am I being too jealous and not trusting? Well, I mean, you got a reason not to trust because you really don't know his ex-wife. You don't know if she's gonna, if she trying to get him over there, she want to get by with him. You don't know if she's gonna drive it like a hot, hot pocket, a loose booted nine or one. You really don't know what his wife got going on so he might be over there in some cheeks. Splack a belly. So he might, you don't know what's going on but the key is, is this what you're dealing with? So this what come with a man who was married with kids cause they still wanna, he's still their daddy. And so if she going over there with the daughter to see the son, she gonna invite him. So cause once a person married, they always married. Even in divorce, you're still married. That's why the Bible say what it say about adultery. Because even in divorce, you still married. Even if you go remarried, you still married cause marriage is until death do us part. So she always gonna have that. She always gonna have that connection with him. So you got to ask yourself, is this what I want? And if you can't handle it, then that mean you need to get with a man who either doesn't have kids or, and or has never been married. And that's a lot of women, that's some women standard. Toya B. God bless you. Now following up on your book Mrs. Right, I think now I'm too hard noticing the red flags. I still keep the faith on marriage and kids, but these jokers don't last a month or for even, or even a date help. Hey, that's good. That's good, Toya. Because you got to realize seven billion people in the world. Probably, you know, about three, two, three billion of men. So it's a lot of men to go through. So if you get cut quick, all right. Got to go. Got to go. Go on about your business, but don't worry about that now. Don't play the fool. When you get knowledge, that helps you to do better. So you know better, you do better. Cammy, God bless you. What does it mean when a man wear an earring? My child's father. You know, I don't know. I don't know, Cammy. I don't think it means much. A lot of men wear earring. I don't got no earring just because when I got ready to get an earring, two of my homeboys who I felt like was cool was, you know, real original OGs. They didn't have earring. So I was like, oh, two homies that I look up to don't have no earring. Then that must be soft, you know, that must be. So it's a lot that go with it, but typically it's just a man trying to be cool, trying to be pretty for a woman. That's typically what it is. He thinks cool. Cammy got another question here. Was debating with a man. He said, single moms are damaged and imprinted by a man already that they're not worth it. What do you think? I can take the truth. For a lot of them, it's true. Not all of them, but probably if he's dealt with 10, probably eight of them were that way. So that's what he draws that conclusion. But I would have to agree with them on average. There are some women, but it's a much smaller percentage that are unbothered, unfazed, emotionally intelligent, and they don't wear it like the scarlet letter A and they move on with their life and they expect love and they feel worthy. But for the most part, single moms do kind of beat themselves up and wonder, will another man want me? Will he love my child like his own? Will he think I'm loose? Will he think I'm worn out? Will he think that I'm damaged goods? A lot of women do question themselves. And so he just going off what he's experienced. Does marriage last, Ms. J. Bleshnaw, does marriage last when he waits 10 years to marry you? Now from my studies, no. From my studies, no. The longer man, when a man wait 10 years to marry you, he didn't want you. And so he married you just out of exhaustion. He married you just because of last thing to do. You last glass of water in the desert. And so it's like, okay, what the heck? Been here 10 years, might as well get married. Now I got to get married at 10 years to buy me another few years because I can't keep saying I'm gonna marry you as soon as it's been 10 years. So a lot of times when people wait 10 years to get married, they end up on a coaching call with me after three to seven years of marriage, getting ready to go through a divorce. And then I asked him, well, how long were y'all together? Oh, we were together 10 years before we got married. I said, okay, that's what it was. Cause see the thing about it is a man not gonna have you waiting 10 years if he wanna marry you. If a man love you and feel like you the one, he's not gonna have you waiting 10 years because men territorial, so he gonna feel like another man gonna swoop in and get you. So he gonna have you waiting 10 years. Now I'm looking for these. Now we have, y'all keep the chat clear. Only put questions in the chat. I'm looking for a question, but it's so many deleted messages. I can't find a question. What is the proper way of handling running into an ex? Do you say hi, keep walking? Say hi and keep walking. Say hi and keep walking. Now, if you absolutely, absolutely could get away with pretending like you've never seen them, then do that. But if you can't, y'all got to walk past them. Smile and nod. Whatever face you make, smile and nod. Don't look awkward. Say, hey, how you doing? Thank you, see you tomorrow. You know, don't be awkward the way you get caught off guard, but smile and nod, keep it going. Cause sometimes you see them, they see you see them and then you try to break your neck like you didn't see them. Not that that says to them, oh, she still hurt. Still got a place in her heart. She still love me. Still got a soul tie. But when you cool and keep on going, oh wow, she doing good. She heal. Blast and holly favor, smile at me. And they feel nothing, just smiling, kept going. Like she riding on the wings of angels. So that's how you want to be really. And I believe God bless you. If a man tells you on multiple occasions, people always say they love me and I'm a great person to be around. He is not close to these people. Why does he feel the need to tell me what they say? He's just insecure. He's insecure and he needs some love and he wants you to think that he trying to convince you of that. Queen heart, God bless you now. Ties, your wisdom has truly changed my life and helped me to level up. I am now operating based on my word and stop settling for what is familiar. Able to peep game and hold myself accountable. Queen heart, God bless you now. God bless you, Shamika Evans, bless you. Met this guy very early on. He became sick. I took him to the ER. I nursed him day and night for seven days. As soon as he was well, he stopped communicating. What? Well, I'll be honest with you. It didn't have anything to do with you. And he probably used that sickness as a calling card to go back to his ex. So that probably was now he went back to his ex to soul tie because he feel like, hey, I had me a near death experience. It's good enough to where I can get, thank you Tamika tell your mom I said, hey, this good enough I can get some attention from my ex. So I would just kinda, it's nothing to do with you. Hey, you done racked up some extra bread, basket in heaven. Just take it in stride, learn from it. And maybe that's what the Lord reason, season or lifetime, maybe that's the reason you were sending his life. So just look at that like you the good Samaritan and move on by your life. My ex and I broke up eight months ago. He met a woman three months ago and got married. From my understanding, she has a secure job, et cetera. The quick marriages last. If he there for the money and security, then he gonna stay there for that money and that security. So it ain't, it's not a formula to it. Typically when a man get married that fast, he married for the wrong reason. He married out of, he marrying out of hurt and pain, lost and confused. So I wouldn't worry about it. You know, when you worrying about their marriage and how quick it happened and if they're going to fail, that's the quickest way for your life to fail. You see what I mean? And so when you ask questions about that, don't ask that question no more to nobody else. Cause when you ask questions about that, you manifest your own failure because you focusing on him and his failure. So you blocking your blessings. So just say, hey, God bless him. All right, cool. You know, more blessings to you. Friend thinks guy I talked to for one year ain't doing enough. All right, that meant, okay. Never met mom, two-year-old. Never met mom, two-year-old. He, yeah, says, and your question a little long. All he have abbreviations. He died of two kids with him, moved close to him for a job. I'm doing too much. Yeah, you need a co-decession, and you need a co-decession. You trying to fit that novel in that little box. You trying to fit that novel in, you need a co-decession, and if y'all question, go to getting more than two sentences, you need a co-decession. My ex says he still loves me. Apologize, and wants us to work things out. Two kids together, but I'm not going to do it because of his still toxic ways, even though he says he's changed. Keep going about your business. If you don't feel it in your heart, that's your ex, and you don't feel convinced, then I'm not gonna be convinced. Why do some men lie so much? Cause you got a tongue. I'm friends with a group of girls who talk about multiple dudes. They talk to having relations with drinking, but nothing really of substance. I'm not into that. Should I cut off, or am I judging? You'll be like what you be around. Birds of a feather flock together. So your husband, if your husband know, your friend, Loose Booty 901, Loose Booty 404, Loose Booty 305, and he see you, and then you think you finna be Loose Booty 832, or you think you finna be Pure Booty, 832, he gonna look at you up. She Loose. You know what I mean? It's just like if you see me hanging with all dope boys, you be like what Tony got going on on the side? What Tony on the line preaching this and that? What Tony's still in the street swanging? You know what I mean? You gonna be like what you be around. Birds of a feather flock together, all right? Don't let your good be evil spoken of. Don't be a hindrance to your brethren. Don't be a hindrance to your sister, and you know what I mean? So if you wanna minister to them, minister to them in private, but you ain't gotta be hanging out and going out and all that be around them, cause eventually your clean soup don't get dirty if they got on dirty soups. New God bless you. If a God takes you on a date, and the next day his friend asks you out, and you tell him, and he says he doesn't care if you go, am I wrong for thinking that's rude? No, you ain't wrong, you ain't wrong, but he do care, it could just be a test. Could be testing him, cause his friend probably got the okay from him. The test to see if you loose. Friendly soul, God bless you Tony. I am looking for some clarity. A soul tie is powerful, but even though it's strong, a man can still leave a woman whom he has a tie with. Can you explain this? Was that man never in love? Well see, what you gotta realize is a soul tie and love are not one and the same. A soul tie and love are not synonymous either. So what you have to understand is that you could have a soul tie with no love, and you can get over a soul tie or mask a soul tie or forget about a soul tie by creating another soul tie. And not in the literal sense of getting over it, but you're masking the pain. So it's kind of like, you know, when somebody, you see it on the army movies, somebody break their leg, and then they are going break their finger while they doing surgery on the leg and take their mind off of the other thing. And it's like, okay, you just broke another bone to take their mind off the gunshot wound. But it's just, that's what a man looks like when he trying to hide a soul tie. He goes and gets with another woman because he's over you, he done with you. And so now instead of healing, he goes, H-O-N. So that's what you got to realize. A soul tie is not be all end all, it don't just cripple everybody. You know, it's different levels to it. And you could feel a soul tie stronger than somebody else, especially if you just got a certain spirit. You're an empath or, you know, nurturer, caregiver type person. You could feel a soul tie much stronger than someone who was raised cold and don't know how to be warm. Melissa, God bless you. Do men want to get married as much as women do? I know, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Men fear marriage, men scared of marriage, men dread marriage. And the reason being is because of that ticking in them. And that's what let me know men and women not the same. Because if a woman, as a woman, if you desire marriage, that means your sexual urge to just sleep with whatever you see is not as strong as it is in a man. Cause I see with men, they feel so many urges that they fear, especially if they don't know God. See, I was able to settle down cause I know God. I was able to renew my heart and my spirit because I know my creator. I'm in touch with my creator. But without that, a man feels so much, he like a leaf in the wind. So it scares him to think about selling down with one woman. Whereas a woman, most women wanna settle down with one man. And that's why the argument to say men and women got the same type of drive is untrue. It's true for some women, but that's the minority of women. And I know that because I'm a man who's been dealing with women, okay? Since I was knee high to a grasshopper. And so I know that urge different in a woman. As morell of God blesses, boyfriend's ex of five years wants to meet before I'm around his son, around son, he's three. Boyfriend's ex of five years wants to meet before I'm around son, he's three. I told him no because she came onto my IG and wished me a happy B-day. I felt it was passive, aggressive thoughts. Well, Edmund Reler, now Edmund Reler, you still ain't signed up for no session. And I see you in here every night with different variation. A you and your boyfriend, baby mama drama. All right, Edmund Reler, need your session. Okay, you gonna sacrifice, you just swipe that Chase credit card and get your session. Now listen, go ahead and meet the woman because if this your man, you wanna be with him and that's his child and that's his child's mother just because she can't wish you have a birthday. Okay, that was passive, aggressive. But now if you don't meet her, now she the real killer and you not. So you need to be able to go up and meet her. Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you, I'm Esmeralda Bono. Thank you, yeah, it's all right. Yeah, it's great to meet you, yeah. Okay, yeah, thank you for the birthday wishes too, girl. That was so nice of you. You said, I mean, you got to be able to up her. Now when you go and you like, no, I don't wanna meet her. She like, okay, I got her, boom. Now she the pit bull and you the little Yorkie. You said, I mean, because you running scared. If that's your man and you wanna be with him and y'all gonna get married, go ahead and meet her. And you gotta do that, but shake a hand, shake a hand with your glove on your hand sometimes. Oh, let me see, Jackie M. God bless you now. Engaged for six years, intuition made me not marry. Lived with him last year and realized I was the human teddy bear. I held him accountable and he left. Was it too late to hold him accountable? Was I never his wife since he left me? You 100% right, Jackie, you're absolutely right. You was never his wife, he was never your husband. Anytime you engage for six years, that's a dead giveaway. Alrighty, that was the first sign. Okay, when you going to year number two of engagement. Alrighty, check please. When you get the year two of the, check please. You know what I mean? So just be thankful that it's over. Gone about your business. Nelson, God bless you now. Tony, thank you so much, brother, for answering your calling and your life. You have been a tremendous help to my life. God bless your brother and thank you once again. Hey, Nelson, God bless you now. I'll be seeing Nelson. I think Nelson, the last man standing. That's the only man I'll be seeing in the comment. God bless you, Nelson. Lord, got something for you. Keep working on your now. Keep working on your life and come on over here and be a life coaching join me now. Sinquat, Wilts, God bless you now. Tony, what's one of your books I can read to help me focus on my purpose? I want to pause on dating for some time and just focus and build on my three B's. I have a book called The Dream Chaser. It's on audio as well. And it's in print and e-book. It's called The Dream Chaser. So make sure you get that book. It's gonna bless you. Alyssa, God bless you. Thanks, Tony, for the session last week. I had a mental breakthrough. I now have clarity looking to take classes. Thank you, God bless you and the family. Alyssa, God bless you now. Okay, we had a session last week. All right, bless you. I remember your name now. Angela, God bless you. How to schedule a, how to schedule the $25 session? You have been a blessing to me, trying to break a soul tie. Visit mymentor.life. Now see $25, that's not a session with me, but we have coaches on mymentor.life that is $25 on there. So it's, you know, not.com is mymentor.life. Caramel Kisses might put the link in here. And some of the moderators are coaches on mymentor.life. Okay, Caramel Kisses already put it, mymentor.life for coaching sessions. We broke up, but talk daily. Speech is healthy, but should I entertain? Date it for six months. Well, you a little late on that question. Y'all talk daily, you already entertaining. You know, you already entertaining. You got the whole Maddenay popcorn, soda water, y'all talk daily. That's entertainment. So you might be a little too late for that. So you might have, you might have to bike tripe cause you, you entertaining. You talking every day. So yeah, you gonna have to think twice about that now. Aaron, God bless you. What does it mean when a guy deletes you on Facebook and then adds you back two weeks later? I dealt with him two years ago. He wanted to come over a little after 12 a.m. Well, typically what that means is he trying to get your attention again. He let you go and now he trying to friend you again and get your attention again. If it was intentional, it could have been an accident. He could have just been deleting everybody and realized he deleted you and came to add you back. You know, you can't read too much into those things social media can't read too much in the social media from a person that you're not with. See a person that you with what they do on social media says a lot and it means a lot. But if you're not with that person you can't read too deep into it. My fiancee and I are very happy. I thank God for it. He told me, I'm that woman, all smiles. What does that mean? Okay, y'all happy. I don't know if you asked me what all smiles mean or you saying you all smiles. Well, if you asked me, he told me, I'm that woman. But I'll tell you what it mean. You heard that? That's what it mean. Not okay. So that what it mean. Nothing. So the volume ain't go out. I just was letting you know that's what you got to hear from a man. When that's what it mean. Nothing. Don't mean nothing. When you get a rain and you get walked down the aisle and you got faithfulness and you got love and peace in your household after the honeymoon phase didn't mean something. But for right now, this what it mean. Right. Shakita Harris, God bless you now, bless you now. So I'm gonna tell y'all this. What a man says means absolutely nothing. What a man does mean absolutely everything. A male friend was in an open, long distance relationship with a woman. And she's trying to get him to commit exclusively. Six years total. Four years in, they went through a messy phase with other women. Do you think it'll work? No, that ain't gonna work. Yeah, absolutely ain't gonna work. You wasting your brain, cells, thinking about it. What's your opinion on dating a frat brother? You regarded this a bit in your last book. Listening. Well, it ain't nothing wrong with, it's not anything wrong with frat brothers per se. My point in my book was that, you know, men do things sometimes for the wrong reasons, for acceptance, or to look good to a woman. And so I was talking about the influence of a woman and how a man, almost everything a man does is for a woman. And in college, a lot of men join a frat to be in the end crowd in the cool group because they know that all other college girls like frat brothers because they're seen as cool and somebody on campus, it means something. So like, if you're not in college, the equivalent would be the dudes that's in the bloods of the crypts. Because they in this game, they run the streets, they mean something. On a college campus, the bloods in the crypts is the cues and the alphas and the sigmas and all of this here, they demand. You outside of that then, you really gotta have some mean swagger. And so typically me not being a frat brother. When I met the old guys, it was kind of like nine out of 10. Now you got a couple of them that, you know what I'm saying? I felt that swag, but nine out of 10. Bro, you lame. But y'all boy lame. Bro, I gotta go. Hey, hey, bro, I'm a high legend. I gotta go. You're not finna be spinning my mouth, slapping me in my chest, hollering about do the Greek alphabet. Is you crazy, bro? How much you want from me to be your friend? 400 dollars a month. Bro, you'll get out of here with that mess. I walked out on them boys. I'm like, but y'all boy lost. Okay. So I'm just telling you as a man, nine out of 10 of them, they're a love. But you got some of them who, you know, they cool. Coco God bless you. Are we supposed to help me and change their character flaws, like smoking, cursing, listening to rap? Should they already be a kingdom man? No, you're not supposed to help them. Now you can encourage them. You can tell them, look, that's unacceptable. I really don't roll like that. And if he really likes you, he's really into you. He may let those things go because he may be ready to let them go because he know it's not right. And so, you know, he lets it go. But that's not your job. He should be, you know, a man. Or at least real close to it. So really it's something that you express. And if he gets with it, he gets with it. If he doesn't, go on about your business. Debbie care, God bless you. Hi Tony, is it okay for me to give a guy dated for six weeks, a second chance as friends after we broke up because of his grown boy behavior of flirting with women on media? Yes, it's okay. It's okay. If you're gonna be friends, it needs to be friends with the intention of getting back together. Can't just be friends because if y'all were trying to be romantic and you let him come back as friends, he's bringing that same energy when y'all were trying to be romantic interests. So he's gonna block your blessings. He gonna block the man that's for you. So if you're gonna let him come back, it need to be with the intention of y'all rekindling or getting back together. And the reason why I say he could come back is because every man gonna make a mistake, every man gonna test you, every man gonna do something crazy. And so you got to look at what it is, what the offense is, not he. All right, run and never come back if he got like that. If he said something, you know, you might wanna run and never come back. But doing something like that, social media, you know, what have you, six weeks in. It's typically when you have to leave a man after the 12 month mark. If you have to leave him after the 12 month mark, that's when it's like, okay, keep going about your business because he had too long now. He know what to do and not to do. But six weeks, y'all still learning each other. He don't know if you wanna be entanglement. You know what I mean? He trying to feel you out. So he test you like that to see if you cool with entanglement. You let him know you ain't cool with entanglement. Then he's like, oh, okay, all right, all right. So it's a cool, all right. Let me get another chance and I'll do right this time. I ain't know if you was down with the entangles. Stephanie, God bless you. We're buying a house solo, sending the wrong message to the man you've been with for six months. Not buying until 2021, but we aren't engaged. So I don't know, I'm 28. Yeah, he's gonna send the wrong message now. But the other thing is, is why buy a house? You know what I mean? Still buying a house by your investment property. And you could rent somewhere and let that double pay your rent. You see what I mean? So if you get qualified for a house, then get qualified a little house and rent it out. The mortgage 800 you charged in 1750. Now you paying your rent, like if you plan on getting married, you shouldn't buy a house if you plan on getting married. Buying a house is what you do with your spouse. It makes no sense to go buy a house when you're gonna have to either invite somebody into your house as a woman, which he could be marrying you just because you got a house and you can't tell the difference because y'all don't know the game like that. And two, you got the, or you're gonna have to be selling your house to move into his house or so that y'all could buy a house together. So now you just took chance, you probably lost equity, you could buy a house, the market could go down. Now you done lost all this money when you try to sell it, you know what I mean? It's nothing wrong with renting. I know people Instagram try to make y'all think it's something wrong with renting. You rent in here anyway, you passing through anyway, this ain't eternity. So don't get caught up thinking that it's something wrong with you renting until you stay with you 28 years old. You see what I mean? Like you plan to live to 90 or 100, you gonna have to buy a house at 28. That ain't the house you're gonna want at 40. That ain't the house you're gonna want at 30. You know what I mean? Cause what you could get at 28, you gonna be looking at that house angry in 10 years. Sunshine, ready God bless you. If men think about intimacy that often, how do you men get anything done? As a woman, I truly cannot understand. Also, can you explain freaking the sheets meaning as even a God fearing man still desires that? Well, sunshine, we can't really go in all that on YouTube. All right, that's a little x-rated. We have to wait that I raise the money for Tony too, okay? Cause came in and all that. But that energy that is ticking inside of a man is actually what motivates him and pushes him to get stuff done. That's actually his driving force when he's working. And so that's what you got to realize. A minister using prescribed marijuana for epilepsy and seizure, is that okay? Well, I mean, yeah, that's what he needed for. I mean, it come from the earth. And if it's prescribed, the Bible says obey the laws of the land. So if it's illegal, then he's not obeying the laws of the land. If you're not obeying the laws of the land, you in sin. If it's legal and it's prescribed, then that's it's being used for its intended purposes, which is to medicate. See, it ain't just to get how people use it. And for recreation, it's medication. So if it's prescribed as medication and he got the card for it, not me personally, what I wanna see is him catch a little seizure a little bit, you know, one time just so that I know, oh, okay, yeah, it is for the seizure cause he had a little bit of a seizure and I had to bring him, you know, the joint. But if he, if you sense that he lying about that and he just smoke or he wanna smoke and he saying he got those two issues, now that's a red flag. But if he literally do sometimes have a seizure and, you know, and that's what he needs it for, you know, I can't judge him for that. Kaya Lee, God bless her. Baby father texts me that he's ready to play his part in taking care of his daughter. But don't address what his wife says. Don't address what his wife says. He doesn't care about her. Should I allow him to? Yeah, if you trust him, let him, you know, let him do that. He the man of his household. So if his wife, he probably calling shots over there. So if his wife, you know, if he's saying he wanna do that and he wanna be there for a child and his wife probably don't care. And he, he probably not already took care of that. So you can't worry about that, you know. You can't worry about what he doing in his house and how he running things. If he wanna be there for his daughter and he's a good guy. Watch Amber God, bless her now. Do you think men would watch a channel where a woman speaks on our perspective on dating and relationships and mixed signals? Do men care? Yeah, they care and yeah, they gonna watch it cause it's free. If you charge and then no, but they gonna watch it cause it's free yet they absolutely gonna watch it. And they gonna give you a hard time. So now you're gonna get stressed out and they gonna be calling your name and they gonna be arguing with you and you gonna feel like quitting and giving up but just stay the course. But definitely by all means need that. Esmeralda, God bless you now. I actually did do a session. Just wanted your opinion. All right now, you must use a different name. I don't remember Esmeralda now. I gotta look that up. I did go to her IG first. Well, their sons because my boyfriend sent me the link to view their IG story. So I did. She came back a month later saying happy B-day. Liking back. I think he went, he want to upset. All right, Esmeralda, you gonna need another session. And let me know that you the Esmeralda from the Q&A cause you know, sometimes I could have been zoned out unless you did a session with somebody else. You might, unless you did a session with somebody else. LaTosia, God bless you now. Hi, Tony, when did you tell your wife you loved her for the first time? Well, precious, see, I was a player back then. I was a player. So every woman I met, I told him I loved him in the first two weeks. You know, so for me it really was a little different. When did I actually love her, love her? It probably was in the second year, you know, when did I actually fall, fall in love? We probably had been married for about two years. So I had a lot of healing to do, a lot of growing to do. I had been a womanizer. So me with love, I was looking for it and I wanted a wife, but I was savage hearted. I was a doll. And so I had a lot of growing to do. You know, I used to write poems and I used to regurgitate them. And my wife teased me about that. Sometime early on when she met me, I gave her a poem and I think she came over to my apartment one night and found the same poem with somebody else's name on it. And, yeah, I used to be, you know, but we kind of laughed it off and I just let her know a listen. I wrote that, but you really was the inspiration on that. It just happened to have somebody else's name on that one now, but you, you really fit this. I ain't trying to lie on this. Now her, her name on there, I was exaggerating, but you, you fit this. So, you know, we laughed it off and I wasn't perfect, but I ain't really put my wife through none. I ain't trial. And then when I finally did try, try to test her, she left because she wasn't with the games. Somebody says, yoga, sin, core into the Bible. I really don't know to be honest with you because a yoga one need men in the Bible. Okay. And to me, it depends on what kind of yoga you doing. Now the deep, deep, deep yoga. Yeah, that might be a little sacrilegious, but what we doing here in America, we ain't doing no real yoga. We ain't doing no real yoga in America. You stretching. Yoga in America, you stretching. Okay, you ain't doing no yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama, yama. You just downward dog. All right, scratch, try not to pass gas. So a lot of times, like I tell y'all Christians, don't be so heavily minded that you know earthly good. Don't get that good stretch in. And while you doing the yoga, while you stretching, basically you stretching, you could be praying. Talk to God. Talk to God. You know, if you feel like something wrong with stretching, talk to God. Pray. Long as you ain't doing no chance to no graven image or to no other God, then no. You can't get caught up in all that. Boyfriend went to the ER for breaking his man part. Sweet T-22 God, bless you, nine. Okay, now somebody sent you on here to troll. Boyfriend went to ER for breaking his man part. Said it happened from Angela. I didn't believe him, am I wrong? I've been at his house helping him recover, but I don't believe him. Now somebody sent you on here to play. Play around, cause I don't believe you. But hey, I don't believe him either. So I'll tell you that. I don't know what the world he was doing. Well, who the world he was looking at on that phone? The world? No, he is, somebody probably broke it for him, called him cheating, called him talking to you and tried to snap it in half. Probably what happened. Little T-22 God, bless you, how long should I wait for a man to ask me out after well past the 10 hours of getting to know each other, to start dating? And how far should I go with flirting until then? You shouldn't go far with flirting at all, ever, period. Cause when you starting to ask how far should you go with flirting, it's a little toy to sound like y'all trying to get a little nasty on that phone. So stay away from the nasty on the phone, stay away from the nasty pictures, and y'all just talk about life and what's going on. Now, a man ought to ask you on a date in the first 30 days of y'all talking. Glove J, God bless you. So in the first 30 days of y'all talking, he don't ask no question. Moderators, y'all could take a break, y'all could rest, y'all working well, y'all leading them as fast, but I'm about to get off at an hour. The Lord only called me to an hour tonight. The Lord only called me to an hour tonight cause I wasn't going to do this tonight. I wasn't going to do this tonight. And I'm missing my wife. I just want to sit down and just hear her talk. Hear her talk. Tony, why should a man propose at the one year mark, even though he doesn't fall in love then? Joy, that's a good question. He should propose because he knows that's where he's gone. He knows that's where he's moving to. He can't really control his heart cause he didn't create his heart. So he can't really control that his heart hasn't caught up with his head, but he is letting you know, I'm taking you off the market, sister. Hey, baby, you mine now. I'm waiting on the Lord to soften my heart cause he created me for war. He created me to kill. He created me to, you see what I mean? That's what men do. So somebody who do this, somebody who do this, somebody who created to do that, they heart going to be a little slower. But what he's doing by asking you to be his wife is saying, I love you. I'm moving in the right direction. I'm trusting God to order my steps. You're going to be my wife. I'm going to be your husband until death do us part. I'm going to be faithful and I'm leaning and trusting in God to help me do it. That's all he's doing. That's all he's doing. Everything ain't going to make sense though. Rubell, God bless you. I see somebody still hollering about that yoga. Hey, everything is sin. Let y'all tell it. Now me personally, I don't do yoga because my body just don't scratch like that. Okay, I am and if it's a sin, maybe that's why the Lord don't let me scratch like that. I know my wife and did it and ain't come back, ain't lose no blessings because see God know your heart. God know you ain't in the praying to know other God. God know you ain't, you don't know what you're doing in there. God know your heart. So y'all read an article, it's like, who told you that? The yoga ain't even in the Bible. Who told you that? You read an article and all of a sudden you all know it, all righteous. God fell out the heaven and spoke to you about yoga, but they ain't speak to you by that mouth to baton. Oh, your yoga sin, but you get the nasty toys. Okay, yoga sin, all right, but you're still in gluttony. Yoga sin, but you're still in lust. You see what I'm saying? We try to pick and chew. Yoga is a workout. And so because it's such a workout and because it got you sweating and got your, your ligaments bought the pop. Oh, child, yoga sin. I can't do it. Yoga is a sin. Why? Because it's working you and you burning calories and losing weight and you sweating too hard and your lead stretching too far. I can't be in there with all that sin. You go right on head. I ain't got the time because I love Lord. Let me go get my toy. And then at night, and the Lord looking at you like, now she didn't want to go do a hot stretch, but she in there with that toy and looking at more chestnut on the TV screen, but didn't want to go do a hot stretch. You see what I'm saying? Y'all be confusing the Lord. Erica Godbless, I have a master's and my licensed professional counselor and I'm thinking about becoming a coach. Do I need to complete the training? Also, thank you so much. Well, if you're a counselor and you've done sessions and if you have a, you know, like a degree or like a certificate, like that you could take a picture of and put in a JPEG or a PDF file, then you don't need to take the coaching course. But this is my thing. If you didn't spend all that money to get a master's, what's 800 more dollars? You see what I mean? To learn the coaching industry. So coaching what you do in the model certification course on tonicassesacademy.com, it's gonna teach you about the industry. It's gonna teach you about how to build your brand. It's gonna teach you business wisdom as well. It's not teaching you how to coach. It's teaching you how to build a brand, what the industry is. And so if you don't spend 50, 60, 70, 80, 90,000 dollars to get that master's, what's that other 800 dollars gonna hurt you? You see what I mean? That's my thing. Miss Grace, for God bless you. All right, now I got to go. Pass our hour, all right. Moderators, thank y'all so much. Y'all get a moderate round of applause. I really appreciate y'all helping me with the chat. Miss Grace, for Tony, I read your book. What would you say is a key factor in keeping a marriage so healthy to the point you miss your wife even when y'all in the same home even after y'all have been together for so long? Now, I'll be honest with you. For me, my key factor is my relationship with God. So because I fear God, because I love and respect and reverence the Lord, I honor His word. His word tells me to be faithful to my wife and to love my wife as Christ loved the church and to present her blemish and spark free. So because of my relationship, that's how I love my wife. And so when you completely committed to somebody and you love them, and you love them with all your heart and you completely faithful, it makes you fall deeper and deeper in love. The reason why a lot of men don't feel the way I feel about my wife is because they're not faithful. They're Instagram, they DM cheating. They're emotionally cheating. So it make them despise their wife because they can't cheat in peace because she keep coming up wanna talk and have a conversation and he trying to get a nasty text off. So he getting frustrated. What? I'm stressed from work. I'm just trying to read lights. What do you want? It ain't got nothing to do with work. He ain't stressed at all from work. He trying to get that nasty text off and now he can't cheat in peace so he frustrated with her. So now he frustrated with her. That make her sad, that make her hurt. Now she frustrated. Now the kid confused and it just everything rolled downhill. But with me being 100% faithful to my wife, it allows my heart to be conditioned for love and for me to fall deeply in love. So I just wanna be in her presence. I just wanna be around her. You know, she watch stuff on TV and stuff she watch, it give me a headache. But I sit there and I just enjoy the headache and I try to get into it. And I realize now if I put something on I wanna watch she might be like, I don't wanna watch this. But we watching this later now named McGee. Her name McGee. Style by McGee or McGee, M-C-G-E-E. But she an interior designer in Colorado or somewhere. And we watching my wife like watching them. So I sit there, watch that expensive furniture and it's all right. And then yesterday we watched something else. Another lady do some, we watch her little daughter shows and I just sit there and enjoy the headache. Because I'm in her presence. And that's cause I love her. And I try to exemplify that love. And I look at it and I say, you know what? If I wanna watch a documentary she might not care to watch that documentary. But instead of me saying, hey, I don't wanna watch this. Let me exemplify love and go above and beyond. So that's what it is. A man really just gotta connect with his creator and his purpose. Hey, God bless y'all I got to get going so I can get on off of here. Spending my last little cup of hours up the night with the queen. I really appreciate everybody for being a member of the Blast Tribe. And I really thank you. Precious God bless your precious. She was in tears tonight. Hilarious is all, all right. Now you got a good spirit cause I wasn't telling no jokes so y'all need to listen back to this. I was dead serious as I'm always is but for those of you who get your laugh that mean your spirit in the right place. Keep doing what you're doing. To all the moderators, Sharon, Tubella and Glenn Rocks and Caramel Kisses and Mama Tish and anybody else I'm forgetting. I thank y'all for helping me with the chat. I really appreciate you. God bless you. For the person who sent me that cash out. Bless you. I really appreciate you. And we'll.