 This is applicable to us, that we are living stones, that we are kings and priests, that we are called to be holy, that we are His own special people, a chosen generation, we are chosen to proclaim the praises of Him, to proclaim the attributes of Him. And let's spray on these lines and let's take some time to proclaim His praises. Let's pray. Father, we just want to thank you, Lord, for who we have become or who you have called us to be in Christ. Father, we thank you that you have chosen us, that you have called us. Lord, you have elevated us to that position of being kings and priests. We are a royal priesthood. And I thank you that you've called us out of darkness and into your marvellous light. Father, we thank you for that transition, we thank you for that change, God. We thank you that, Lord, we don't have to be in darkness. You've called us, you've brought us out out of darkness into your marvellous light, O God. And we can choose to live in that marvellous light, O God. We can choose to, Lord, have our beings, Lord, conduct our life, Lord, in that marvellous light. And with that understanding, Lord, that you give us, Lord, and with that enlightenment that you give us, O God, we thank you. And, Father, God, we thank you that you've called us to declare your praises, Lord, share your attributes, proclaim your virtues. And, Father, God, we choose to do that, Lord, through our lives, through our actions, through our words, Lord, I pray that you will enable us to do that, God. Let's just take some time to proclaim his attributes, to declare who he is. Hallelujah. We thank you, God. I thank you that you are our redeemer, the one who brings us back, the one who picks us up from where we are fallen, and the one who takes us beyond where we have fallen, elevates us beyond that. O God, we thank you. We thank you that you are our redeemer. Hallelujah. Bless your name. Bless your name, God. Bless your name, God. Thank you, Master. Oh, we proclaim your praise. Lord, we thank you that we can completely trust in you. Lord, you are our sure foundation. And we thank you that, Lord, with you, it's not a mixture of truth and lies or light and darkness, but God, with you, it's holiness through and through, it's righteousness through and through, and you are truth itself. Father, we thank you for that assurance, God. And even though we live in a world where there's so much of mixture, even though we live in a world where there's so much of things mixed or God, with culture, God, and Father, we thank you that we can come to you and for discernment, for clarity, because you are the true righteous standard, God. Hallelujah. We declare this morning that you are our reference point. We declare, we proclaim this morning that you are truth itself, God. Hallelujah. We can always turn to you, look to you, God, and receive from you that reference point. Just want us to go ahead and just declare and say, Lord, just ask the Lord to align and check and align our internal point of reference. By that, I just mean that our sense of right and wrong, even if it's clouded by maybe some undue thinking, even if it's clouded by some flesh, work of the flesh, may it come to a place of clarity, may it come to a place of righteousness, our internal sense of right and wrong. Hallelujah. We thank you, Lord. Lord, we ask that you would do this. We ask that you would strengthen, Lord, what is right, strengthen, God, strengthen that, oh, God, and I just pray that you would highlight, oh, God, Lord, your plum blind, your reference point, Father God, of truth, Lord, in us, Lord. Yes, Master, we thank you that it be so apparent and so clear and so strong in us, God, that every other thing, God, that we'll be able to immediately check and just reject, Father God, that we would know. Hallelujah. We thank you. We thank you. We bless your name and we give you all the praise. We thank you for preparing us, Lord, as living stones to build up a spiritual house, God, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, God. We thank you, Father God. We thank you. And this is a big part of our lives. We thank you. We give you all the praise and all the glory. In Jesus' matchless name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Awesome. Amen. Something fell. Okay. Something from my class. Right, so let's continue from where we stopped last class. We looked at, we were looking at focusing on others, right? How to focus on others, how to turn away from self-centeredness. And the reason why we are doing that is to be good at winning with people. And we know that leadership is not an isolation, is not devoid of interacting with people. We all know that ministry is serving God and serving people. It's about loving God and loving people. And so since it involves people so much, it's people heavy, right? So it's best that we learn how to do this and get better and better and better at it, right, irrespective of how we are temperamentally. We get better at it so that we can be truly free to be who God has called us to be. Okay, so we're looking at, we looked at three principles that help us to focus on others. The big picture principle, which where we are part of it, but we need to look beyond ourselves. Then we looked at the exchange principle where we, if we would put ourselves in other other person's shoes, you know, we would understand the challenges, understand what the other person is going through. So we need to be able to view things from the other person's perspective. And which means that like sometimes, even though we do not agree, you know, it's good to observe, it's good to learn why does that person think that way or why does that person act this way? Okay, and then we'll also look at the learning principle that, you know, if we would approach people or people whom we interact with, if we would have this perspective that I can learn something from this person. Right? I can learn definitely something from this person. Even though it could be, it could sometimes, you know, it could even be, what should I not do? You know, it could even be that, but if we would approach with that mindset and we have that perspective, then we would definitely learn ourselves. Right? But at the same time, we would also be able to focus on others, turn the focus from ourselves to the, to the, to others. Right? Okay, so the fourth one, we, I think we just got started with that is the charisma principle. Okay, let me just share. I'm sure you all have the notes, but let me share that. Okay, so the charisma principle. So the principle is that this is a famous quote by Dale Carnegie, who wrote that book, you know, How to Win Friends and Influence People, that people don't care how much we know until they know how much we care, obviously about them. Right? In most cases, this is how it is, right? People don't care how much we know how much learning we have to offer, unless, or until they they realize that, okay, this person cares, truly wants me to, to benefit from this. Right? It's not just to show off the great learning, but this person wants to wants me to benefit, wants me to be better than how I where I am. So when people understand that, that we care, then then they also would warm up. They would also be approachable. Okay, so people are interested in those who are interested in them. Okay, so which means that when we interact when we with people, when we, you know, when we talk to people, communicate with people, it must be sincere. Right? Okay, here's a question. Is it okay to read books of Dale Carnegie? Like, this is the only book that I've read. Any particular reason why you asking that question? Nothing like that, because he ended up, he ended up in killing himself or something. Oh, is it? Oh, okay, okay, I don't know about his life. There's something I've got about him, but I read one or two books about him, about, but I just want to know that because that was when I was not a believer. So I see that it's okay to read those books. That is a motivational speech. Yeah, it is. It would be motivational. It would be. Yeah, I just want to know whether it is good to read or not, because to improve the knowledge that's, is it okay? Right, so I think, you know, we can use this thumb rule that if there is something, I mean thumb rule to discern and, you know, in whatever content we read, respect to who the author is to see if there is something that contradicts the principles in the word of God, contradicts, you know, the truth in God's word. And if there's something that contradicts, I think we just need to reject that and hold on to what is true. Yeah, Kennedy, did you, yeah, Kennedy, did you want to say something? I see you're unmuted. Okay, let's, let's move on, right? Okay, so here are some things that we can practically do, become genuinely interested in others, right? So, so how do we do that? Maybe ask questions, find out about them. There are, you know, hundred things or more that we can find out about the other person. And maybe out of, you know, culturally sometimes it, we feel it's impolite to ask questions or, you know, certain questions should not be asked, right? And that's okay, you know, but I'm sure that there are other questions that we might, we can, we could ask to find out, to be genuine, to show that they are genuinely interested in the person and find out, learn about the other person, right? John C. Maxwell also talks about, you know, smiling, to have a smile, to not always go about with a very serious and sour face, because a smile makes us approachable. And then, you know, he also talks about the fact that, well, some people can smile naturally others, for others, it's an effort. And then, you know, there's a humorous, humorous incident he talks about, he says, no, that's not true. Because right from the time we are born, the doctor gives us a slap on the back on the bottom. And then we come into the world crying. And no wonder we, you know, we don't trust people. But the fact is that, yeah, I mean, we can all learn to smile, we can all learn to, you know, shed our insecurities about being approachable. Because now, we do understand that sometimes, you know, we, you know, there are, there are people who feel that, okay, if I smile, then it's a sign of weakness. Or if I'm approachable, then it's a sign of weakness. Right. And, and I don't want to be approachable, or maybe they've been taken for granted, and not valued. So probably that's one reason. But then, we can definitely teach others how to treat us. Right. And, and definitely smiling is a, is a bridge. It can make us approachable. And of course, remember that we are talking about how to be other focused, other person focused. Okay. Some simple things, remembering the name of the person, of course. And I'm not sure if it was John Maxwell or someone else who, who knew the person, who would actually go through the database of quite a big congregation. Right. And he would make an attempt to remember the names of people. I mean, I know this sounds a little extreme, but he would do that. Right. This, this pastor, I think it is John Maxwell, when he was pasting the charge, I'm not too sure. But, you know, to remember the name of the person, sometimes in our, you know, we are thinking about what to tell the person, we are thinking about what to, you know, the, what to tell about ourselves. And then we, we forget the name of the person who we, who we just met a minute ago. Right. And, and then we need to ask them again. Sometimes, you know, it happens. We asked them, okay, by the way, I didn't quite catch your name. And at the end of the conversation, you are again asking the name. Nothing wrong in doing that though. But, you know, to remember the person's name is, is important. It helps us again to be a good listener, right, to listen to people to, to not just hear, but listen, right, to actively listen, to take in what they are, you know, saying to be genuinely interested. And this would encourage people to talk about themselves. And even we might ask the questions, but if we are not listening to what their response is, then, then it defeats the purpose. Okay. We can talk in terms of other person's interests and make the other person feel important and, and do this sincerely, you know, not out of flattery. Right. Okay, so that is the charisma principle. We're going to look at two more before we you know, finish this section. The thing is the number 10 principle. Okay. The number 10 principle is, and the confrontation principle, you know, seem to be, you know, opposite, but actually it flows together. It's about truth in love, or love in action, which involves truth, which, which includes, you know, truth, which is grounded in truth. So the number 10 principle is to believe the best about people. Okay. And, you know, in gymnastics, the perfect score is 10. Right. So to believe the best about them is to put a 10 on their lives to say that, yes, you esteem them, you know, you believe the best about them, you trust them. Right. So that is the number 10 principle. You know, there are two ways we can approach people. Guilty until proven innocent or innocent until proven guilty. Right. So guilty until, until proven innocent would mean that we, you're going to view every action of theirs, every thing that they would say, everything that they would share with suspicion. Right. So they are, you know, we already will be able to label them as guilty, categorize them as being guilty. And a lot has to do with how we have maybe some of the experience we've had. And that, that's heavy on us. So we, we say, okay, they are guilty until proven innocent. And it's going to, you know, take a long time. Right. And a step by step process. Or we can say, we can approach people in this manner where we say, okay, they are innocent until proven guilty. So the number 10 principle is to believe the best that, that, well, whatever God has put in their lives, whatever potential they have, you, you believe that they can, they can do it, that they will be overcomers and they will deliver. And, and, and more often than not believing the best about people brings out the best in them. Right. Believing the best about people brings out the best. So, so you, you tell them that, yeah, this is, I believe you can do that. You know, you have all these abilities, your skills. And so that gives them the confidence and that takes a lot of pressure off. Right. And they'll be able to deliver better, perform better. Right. So the third thing is not to disqualify people based on our personal biases. Right. We might have biases. And it is, it is truly possible, you know, it could be about, you know, about people speaking about a certain language. You know, in a, in a country like India, you have, you know, so many states, so many languages, so many different cultures. And, and the thing is, if we have a bad experience with a certain set of people, over and over again, maybe, and it is possible to come to a place of saying, okay, all, you know, I'm a tumble, tumble in case it's possible to say, okay, all tumbles are like this. This is how they are. Right. So it's possible to come to that conclusion. Right. And we can have a bias or we can have a bias about people's, you know, financial standing, we can have a bias about people's educational qualifications. You know, we could have a bias. You can say, okay, all, all PhDs are boring, boring people. Right. I'm sure I shared that experience with you, where I went to a church and went to this church and I saw a person who was, you know, who was wearing this tie and he was, he was the speaker for that Sunday morning service and even before he could start to minister, you know, I had already formed some opinions and had these bias that, okay, it's going to be boring. It's going to be serious. It's going to be, it's going to be a real waste of time. Right. So, but then he started to minister and it was the most refreshing message straight out of scripture from God's heart. It was like a refreshing rain that I experienced that morning and, you know, started repenting right from that minute that this person opened his mouth to share the word. So we could have personal biases. It is possible, but we need to, you know, we need to check, we need to check ourselves. You know, why am I not able to put a 10? Why am I not able to believe the best about this person? Is it based on a bias or is it based on some of their, you know, recent performance? Okay. So one thing that we need to understand is how the Lord Jesus believed in his disciples. Right. How the Lord Jesus gave, especially, you know, with Peter, we see that the Lord restoring him and the Lord commissioning him to take care of, of his flock, of his sheep, to take care of feeding his sheep, to take care of taking, you know, leading his flock. And after the manner in which he, he let down the Lord. Okay. So to be able to, to be able to do that, right? I think that's too freedom for us. And we are not restricted. We are not bound. Okay. So, so does that mean that I can be naive? Does that mean that I can? Okay. So those are questions to ask. And those are things that we can, we can talk about. So how can I do this in the right way? Right? How can I do this in the right way? You know, to do this in the right way is to, you know, when there are signs, when there are, you know, when there are checks to be discerning and to be addressing those with the persons, you know, when there's a deviation from standard, when there is a, you know, something that is not being upheld, you're believing the best, but when there's something, when there's some deviation from, you know, what is expected to be able to address that, you know, so and address that immediately. Right? So that's something that we need to do. Okay. Okay. Then the next one is to be other focus to be able to focus on others is also something which, you know, which, which could sound paradoxical, but it's the confrontation principle to, and here's a, you know, very interesting statement, care for people before confronting them. Okay. Can we really do that? Like care for people before confronting them, maybe in our own teams, maybe in, you know, the organizations that we lead, can we confront the wrong wing, can we confront the, maybe the lack of performance, maybe, you know, whatever it could be, right? Can we care for them? Can we confront them with this in mind? Okay. So there's, there's a difference, like confronting with the intention of putting that person down, confronting with the intention of showing them that they are wrong, and that they, you know, and that is the only intention. But if we can care for the person and believe the best about the person that when this is pointed out, when then this is sorted out, when this is pointed out, when this is, you know, communicated to the person, when the person knows that, okay, this is what it is that we can believe that, that the person would change and the person would, and we need to give them time to change, right? So when we confront what we are communicating to the person, especially with care, when we confront them, and we do it with honor, when we do it with love and with being truthful, right? And truth hurts, sometimes, but when we do that, we actually show the person that we care about them, right? We, we are, we genuinely care about them, right? And, you know, we've had many conversations as parents, you know, parents of a, you know, of a teenager, now she's in her 20s, 20s. We've had many conversations about things, about discipline, about coming on time, you know, so many things, about when we took time to explain why, you know, when we took time to communicate in a manner, even though our whole system was revolting, you know, it's, it's something that the flesh wants to really, you know, react in anger, react with irritation. But when we put to death, all those things, the things of the flesh, and when we, with the intention of caring for the person, with the intention of, you know, wanting that person to, to do the right thing, to be able to do the right thing. And if it's, you know, to show that it's for their good, with that in mind, when we, when we actually communicated, we saw that there was a genuine change. And so that was, that was really effective. So here are some practical steps, okay, to confront the person only if you care about them. So in the sense, now, which means that we need to quickly align ourselves, okay, what if you don't care about that person? No question. But you need, you still need to confront, right? But at that point, you, you really don't care. That person, you know, you're maybe a, it's a professional relationship. And, you know, there's no room for error, maybe. And you'll be penalized because you're overseeing. So, you know, what do you do? Right? Will this work in such a setting? Right? So those are some questions that we might have. But the thing is to make that internal check and alignment quickly, you know, with the Lord, say, God, you know, I need to do this. I need to help me to do that with love. Yeah, you died for this person. You know, that's, that's always a big, you know, big step, or that is always a great perspective for us to have, you know, the right heart in, in dealing with people, you know, Lord, you died for this person. You died on the cross for this person. That, and that changes the whole perspective, right? But at the same time, we need to be able to confront, we need to be able to tell where the person is going wrong. Or, you know, what they need to do. So confront the person if you care about them. If at that point, you don't feel like you care, you know, in your emotions or, you know, in your heart, make that alignment, make that switch, right? Meet as soon as possible. Don't think that the thing will resolve itself, because it'll become only worse. Right? So first seek understanding, not necessarily agreement. Okay, the person might have a completely different view why they are doing that. But seek to understand. Seek to understand the issue. Seek to understand the problem. Okay. And, of course, outline what the issue is objectively. And encourage a response. You know, let it not be about, okay, this is what you're doing. So this is what I've decided. And this is what you need to do, end of the matter. You know, it's not that. But encourage a response. Let the person explain why and how and ask questions. Right? And once it has been established that, yes, there needs to be a change. Okay. Then agree on how and when these change will happen. Right? So these are some practical steps to be able to confront with people, confront people in a righteous manner, in an honorable manner. Right? And still be effective. Okay. Okay. So we're just going to kind of pause here. And we just wanted to discuss about focusing on others. Okay. And I thought it would be good if we can take a couple of principles. You know, one is about the number 10 principle. Okay. And the confrontation principle. And talk about it and see how best you can be effective. So this is, we'll split into groups. I've never tried this before, but I'm going to try it now. So we're going to talk about the number 10 principle that is esteeming others better than ourselves. Okay. So in the groups, I just wanted us to share some stories about how it went right, how it went wrong, and why did it work? Why did it not work? Okay. The number 10 principle. Is it possible to do that even, like practically? And then the second one is to talk about the confrontation. You know, how can I really do this? So just going to learn from each other. And at the end of it, you know, just one person from each group to just share, okay, what is it that you discussed about the number 10 principle and the confrontation principle? Okay. Can we do that? Any questions before we get into our groups? Okay. Okay. Fine. So we'll take Kennedy. How can you have a humble heart? One second. Let me just look at your question. Okay. Then how can you have a humble heart and an iron fist confronted by, how can you have a humble heart? Sorry, can you just explain? Are you saying that how can I still be humble and still hold on to my standards? Stubbornly hold on to my standards and expect that standard to be met by others. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's something that we need to learn, right? So even speaking the truth in love is something that we need to learn and put in practice. To be gracious, at the same time, convey the truth. And maybe the truth is that the person has messed up terribly. And to be able to convey that truth, communicate that truth to the person, not really sugarcoat that, but to say it, to communicate that, that's that's something that we need to do, right? Yeah, to really put to death. I'm just thinking about, you know, some of those, this is about, I think, Nikki Cruz talks about it and also another pastor who worked in some of the tough neighborhoods, toughest neighborhoods where they were dealing with people who were into a lot of violence, gang violence with problem of drugs, broken homes and all that and how they were mentoring, seeing transformed lives. But at the same time, they would, these people whom they were mentoring would go back to the same environment and then being roughed up and being violently assaulted. And how can I give a righteous response? That was a challenge. So it's never easy. It's never easy to do that. And of course, I'm talking about an extreme example, but like what in day to day, in our day to day exchanges, ministry, family, professionally, excuse me, this is something that we can learn and that we can grow into because the Lord Jesus did that so wonderfully, thinking about, you know, John chapter four and the experience, you know, his conversation with the woman at the well and also the way he, the way he even, you know, healed certain people and he communicated the, communicated the truth. He said, you know, repent, lest a worse thing come upon you. Okay, so he knew, but he, he shared that he didn't hold back. When he said, go and sin no more. He said, okay, I don't condemn you, but hey, this is something that you need to stop doing. So he did that with grace and truth and which is something that God expects us and we are empowered to do that by the Holy Spirit. Okay. Okay, let's, let's quickly begin to, yeah, yeah, thanks. So we'll spend about five minutes. Okay. And we've talked about two things, the number 10 principle and just want each person to share within the group and and then we'll, I'll call us back. Okay, here we go. Okay, here goes. I'm sorry, Thayesh, are you still in the main call? Are you in the breakout room at all? I was trying to. Okay. I think some people dropped off the call. So what really happens when you drop off the call? Are you able to get back into the breakout room? When you get back, it will allow, it will give an option to join back. Oh, okay. Okay, fine, fine. So just some feedback, I'm just trying to learn here. So was that time enough to get into the rooms and then discuss or should we have more time for a meaningful discussion? I think we needed more time faster because we felt it was like way too quick. One good example from one person and then it was already three minutes and the other person couldn't get a chance to speak. Oh, okay, okay. Sorry about that. Okay, okay. So what we can do is when we come back after the break, maybe we can, we can just discuss it, you know, in the main call itself, in the main session itself, all those who and probably one person from each group could share, but then more can share right here. Okay, so next time we would have more time. We would assign more time. So I realized that it took a while to even assign into the groups, right? So we will have more time. Okay, we'll take a break and then we'll come back at 11.