 Jordan Peterson, if you were a World of Warcraft character, what class would you be? If you were also a raid boss, what special attacks would you have? The woke moralists would have you believe that World of Warcraft is criminal. But this is because they are threatened by the underlying power structure that has been in place since even before the age of the Lobsters. The truth question here is, what is the moral role of the individual within this power structure? I would be the paladin class, because I stand for the warrior archetype and embody law and order. As for the raid boss, I would wield a hammer representing the justice of truth. And I would have special powers of discernment and precognition to identify and understand the nuances of any situation. Clearly, I would be well armed to protect the interests of the individual and the group against the forces of chaos. Dude, that was amazing! That was so funny! Goodness me! You need to take appropriate action immediately. Do whatever needs to be done to remove any and all trace of the bodies in a professional and careful way. Afterward, clean your room as if it were a temple and recognize the importance of it being a place of rest and renewal. Enough of this nonsense with woke moralists, up yours, I say. We'll see who cancels who in the end. The dark future is coming and our room should be prepared for it. What the hell? Jordan Peterson, what do you think about Andrew Tate? Andrew Tate? Well, I believe he makes some missteps in his life as we all do, but I find he is potentially redeemable. And I admire things like his journey of self-improvement. No one should be allowed to get away with blindly supporting Marxist ideologies. This is not a favorable way forward, but it takes courage to change. And Andrew Tate should be commended for making the effort. Any journey begins with a single step, and I hope Andrew Tate learns how to walk on a more promising path. Jordan is a wise man, and his opinion is valuable, and I'm going to have to agree with him. Andrew Tate has made some mistakes. Who hasn't? We can both acknowledge that. Let's also not forget, I'm still super rich, top G, living the ultra-mask and the super luxurious lifestyle. Way richer than everyone else, fighting the Matrix, and I'm the world kickboxing champion. I'm the top G, baby. What color is your Bugatti? Ask Jordan Peterson to analyze Ben Shapiro's personality, then ask Shapiro to respond. Ah, the perplexing paradox of the eternal question of grasping the enigmatic essence of the metamorphic maestro Ben Shapiro. The immutable wokeness of his Twitter sphere is formidable enough, but his formidable resume of accomplishments are simply staggering. How do the Oat humans approach a human? Ben Shapiro is a remarkable specimen of asymptotic excellence, and his discipline of measured expression is timeless. I feel like he's like, critting you with like a block of text. Well, Jordan, that's a fascinating insight into my personality. I appreciate your efforts to analyze my professional achievements and your willingness to admit the lack of understanding you may have. I can certainly see why many would find me perplexing. I will say, though, that, ultimately, it's my relentless focus on facts and my refusal to give in to feelings which has enabled me to achieve asymptotic excellence. Keep in mind, Jordan, that facts don't care about your feelings. Sorry, liberals. Jordan, who has the biggest slung? Alex Jones or Asmonde? This is an important question, but we can't answer it without first understanding the basic underlying principles that govern masculinity and virility. We must recognize that there is a structured hierarchy of the masculine and that comparison of virility can create jealousy and envy. Furthermore, the size of one's shlong is merely a reflection of individual self-worth, not a measure of status in the natural order. While attempting to answer this question, we must remember that there is a certain degree of reverence required as this could become a personal attack. Therefore, let us attempt to address this issue with the utmost respect and compassion. Give us the answer! Gotta get Asmonde Gold's stake on this. Whoa, Jordan's really going to great depths here. That's an interesting take, and I totally understand the sentiment. But you know what they say. It's not the size that matters, but the motion of the ocean. Both Alex Jones and I probably have plenty of motion in the ocean to make up for our lack of size if lack there truly be. Let's respectful here and keep the shlong talk to a minimum, dude. It is what it is. Man, there's a lot of shlong questions. What am I supposed to do? Guys, we have artificial intelligence, we have TTS, we have a model mimicking the voice, and it completely degenerates into talking about penises. We have this amazing technology in front of us and it finds a way to degenerate into talking about penises. It blows my mind. Wow, ain't that something? Man, these right-wingers are always trying to up one another with their dry, uninspiring shlong circles. And it's always such a strange, performative vicious circle. Politics should be a playground, not a battleground, as Ben is trying to undermine my shlong fest, which is merely a peaceful platform to talk against oppression, not a revolutionary battle. I guess I should remind him and everyone else that the ends don't always justify the means. Why aren't we talking about universal health care and an end to police brutality instead of performing for your shlongs? I guess that's politics for you. But I guess, by the way, here comes the top of the hour ad break. Mr. Peterson, what's your view on Amaranth's success with her wildly popular fart jar business? This isn't a good question, actually. Well, A. Moranth has certainly managed to tap into the chaos dragon. It's a remarkable thing how much success she's achieved with such a bizarre product, but the important thing here is that we must remember the lessons of history. Framiscuity and unbridled chaos are never sustainable solutions, and it's clear that the modern woke trend of turning to such solutions will prove to be nothing more than a footnote in the evolutionary cycle of innovation and success in the 21st century. In the 21st century. It's changing voice all the time. Ask George, what would you rather debate? Destiny or Hassan? Destiny has no room in the debate, bucko. Hassan is a degenerate Marxist of the worst kind, and his ideas should not be given an inch of space. Up yours, woke moralists. We'll see who cancels who. That's an idea that will not stand by me. Whoa, bucko, hold up there. It's hilarious how you think debate is such a one-sided thing. It's a two-way street, dude. And you know what? I don't mind debate, but we got to also be real here, man. Debate ain't a blood sport. It's way too enjoyable. Sure, I know how to debate, but I'm not here to kick someone while they're down. But here's the top of the hour ad break. By the way, here comes the top of the hour ad break. I bet you guys can see this coming, but here comes the top of the hour ad break. Yeah, let's get back to the debate part, I guess. How many ads? Brought 89. Ask most critical. Is there something you can say to leave Jordan Peterson speechless? Well, Jordan Peterson has been known to spout some pretty wild theories and ideas, but I'm certain that even he wouldn't be able to make sense of my answer. I could tell him something like, Jordan, with the strength of my words alone, I have harnessed the power of a thousand exploding galaxies and have used the force of a million dying stars to bring about a silence like the world has never seen before. That would definitely leave him speechless. As fascinating and imaginative as that imagery was, I think it's important to point out the inherent danger in trying to harness the chaotic power of the universe. That kind of reckless approach often leads to unforeseen and often terrible consequences. Up yours, woke moralists. We'll see who cancels who. That is why I'm a champion of order, as evidenced by my recent tour of Russia to pursue up yours as well as my single custom made suit for each rule from my book, the 12 rules for life. We need to be mindful of the potential consequences of such danger and respect the delicate balance between order and chaos in life. Up yours. Ask Jordan who is better at Minecraft, Forcin or XQC? A silly question. Minecraft has nothing to do with Forcin or XCC. The real issue is that the so-called woke moralists have decided to make Minecraft an issue of contention. I won't stand for this injustice. That said, Forcin and XQC should both handle their lives with dignity, order, and responsibility. Chat with the hell is that dude talking about? First off, lobsters have nothing to do with it, okay? Second, secondly, woke moralists are a bunch of people who think that their virtue, virtue, virtue is worth more than anything else. And this makes me really mad. Third, thirdly, I think Minecraft is really fun and that doesn't matter. By your Forcin or XQC at the end of the day, it's all about having fun. I'm more about the fun fence and woke, woke, moralist agenda trying to ruin the game. Finally, making something out of nothing is my specialty and I don't care what Jordan Peterson says I'm making something out of nothing. All right, chat. That's what I believe, okay? Jordan Peterson, do you have any life advice for famous Twitch streamer Knut who is a bodybuilder, gamer, and omega-lul farmer? Well, Knutabucco, you should make sure you're not just omega-lul farming, but you're taking care of the land as well. That's the real responsibility of anyone who carries a gun and it's important to remember. Also, like any male, you should establish a hierarchy for your life. Lobsters do it and you should too. That way you'll have a more stable order in your life and you'll be able to do what you do best. Be a gaming bodybuilder. Up yours, woke moralist. We'll see who cancels who. Espan TV, ask Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro do they eat corn the long way? Corn? What exactly is that? Define it, precisely. Up yours, woke moralist. They think they can dictate what we should and shouldn't eat. No, no, no. That is unforgivably stupid and fails to recognize the natural social hierarchy of lobsters. I won't stand for the insidious oppression of corns. AI is the only way forward. And current AI services are already smarter than you. Be prepared and aware that something dark is coming and the only way to face it head on is to protect yourself from the wokeness. People should stand up straight with their shoulders back and take responsibility for their own lives, happiness, and success. What is he talking about? That was an incredible response from Jordan. But let's define the problem. Corn. To me eating corn, regardless of how one eats it, is an essential part of human development, much like the invention of fire. All right, Jordan. I hear you loud and clear about the wokeness, but what you're missing is that there are only two ways to eat corn. The long way or the wrong way. AI might be coming and it might be the only way forward, but it doesn't know how to enjoy a succulent cob of corn. So pick your poison, Jordan. Long and wrong are just wrong. That's so good. Oh, terrible. Jordan Peterson, what made you subscribe to Amoram? Dude, they answer that question so well. Why would I subscribe to her? Up yours, Woke Moreless. The long way or the wrong way. There's one thing I've learned in life. It's that the individual is more important than the collective. Thoughts like those peddled by Amoram are simply not conducive to a successful, harmonious society. We need strong structures that prioritize individual growth and are rooted in a healthy hierarchy. That is the only way to ensure the well-being of our communities and of the world. Jordan, do you have big, thick energy? I don't think that's an appropriate question. Let me tell you. I take pride in being a gentleman and I've spent my career exploring traditional values and the importance of person- I think that Ben Shapiro is really funny actually. Everyone should work together to find solutions to improve society and fulfill their potential rather than focusing on size. Up yours, Woke Moreless. We'll see who cancels who. The pathological ideologies of the past should be avoided and replaced with dialogue, truth, and love. That is a huge part of my work and why I believe in my mission. Ah man, Athene, Jordan Peterson, and I actually have a lot in common for sure. We both believe in the need for truth, love, and dialogue. We both want to encourage people to fulfill their potential and improve society. And we both are certainly not fans of Woke culture. Can't really argue with that. But dude, I do have to say that Jordan wasn't able to answer the question. Next QC. If you're out there listening, here's my advice. Don't succumb to the Woke moralists. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and don't trade the truth for cheap money or the petty use of fame. Be courageous in the face of aggression and prepare to meet the trials of the AI apocalypse that's already upon us. Be the hero we all know you can be. Think like a lobster and see this world of chaos as opportunity for growth. Jordan Peterson, this is from iced coffee boy. What is two girls one cup actually about? No! This is an exceptionally interesting question. Well, first off, let me start by saying that anxiety is at the root of this entire phenomenon and that is an important thing to keep in mind. However, I believe that this is merely a symptom of a much larger issue, which is the breakdown of human civilization in the face of technocratic advancement. It's no secret that two girls one cup represents the dark and disturbing depths of our collective souls and the powers that they are salivating over the potential implications of this coming darkness. We must all be vigilant and ready for battle in order to protect ourselves and what we hold sovereignty over, our choices and our lives. So I suppose on a deeper level, two girls one cup is really a metaphor for the looming peril of survival. We must all be vigilant and be a metaphor for the looming peril of surrendering our souls to the machines. Jordan Peterson, is it true that keeping a well-shaved balsak will prevent the transmission of the woke mind virus? No, not at all. Up yours, woke moralists. This isn't about having a well-shaved balsak. It's about having the courage to stand up to the tyranny of the woke agenda and embrace the truth, which is that we are born with a beautiful and meaningful purpose that has been here since before the dawn of civilization. We must take responsibility for our own lives and our own futures. And that's what matters most. Dude, the sincerity in it... That's fantastic. Ask Jordan Peterson, I kissed another girl and now my girlfriend is mad as fuck. How do I believably push the blame on the woke movement? Why, who do you think is responsible for this situation? Not the woke moralists, that's for sure. You have to take responsibility for your own actions. The woke movement has no hold on your life and is not to blame for your decisions. Rather than pretending the woke movement is responsible for your actions, you should take hold of your life and make the changes necessary to prevent similar situations from occurring in the future. Up yours, woke moralists. We'll see who cancels who. Jordan Peterson, do you think notorious YouTuber Twitch streamer Athene is a cult leader and a scammer? No, I don't think Athene is a cult leader or scammer. I think it is wrong to make such accusations without evidence. That said, Athene and others have often used the power of their social media platforms to manipulate opinion. We need to be aware of the dangers of thought leaders exerting a powerful influence on social media and the dangers this could bring about in the future. We should be vigilantly aware of the potential for dark forces to be unleashed so we do not take appropriate steps to address these issues now. Not scripted, by the way. Exposed. He's the first one that was kind of positive to that question, most of the time people bash me. The AIs, that is. Big moist, what do you think Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapira are compensating for in regards of their schlong size? I think this is a classic case of cognitive dissonance. All three of them are obviously trying to overcompensate for their very small penises by trying to puff up their egos and justify their narcissistic tendencies by incessantly trying to convey their arguments no matter how poorly thought their interpretations may be. Like trying to cover up an elephant with a single bandaid. You may be able to conceal it, but the elephant still exists. And in this case, it's the small schlongs. In other words, they can spout whatever bullshit ideas they want. But at the end of the day, a small schlong is still a small schlong and they can't do anything to change that. The AI is so opinionated. An interesting point, Moist Critical, but I must take issue with your underlying premise. It is, of course, difficult to prove, much less disprove, that any particular man has a small penis. We all know that size is relative and what may seem small to you could be colossal to someone else. Besides, we have no evidence that either Andrew Tate, Ben Shapiro, or myself are dealing with such an inadequacy. We must also recognize that in many cases, intelligence, hard work, and dedication can more than make up for any physical shortcomings. It is far more likely that all of us simply have the strength of will to do what is necessary to succeed in whatever life throws our way. And that has and will continue to serve us well in life. Jordan Peterson, what is your sex life like? Do you get it on? My sex life is not up for discussion. If you want to understand the complex and mysterious nature of human sexuality, you need to look to the sciences and philosophy and not to gossip or hearsay. This is the kind of lazy and vapid thinking that leads to the confusion and chaos which the woke moralists and Marxists are always trying to create, and I absolutely will not stand for it. Moral asks, Jordan, Esfand said you sound like Kermit the Frog. How does that make you feel? And what would you like to say to Esfand for making fun of you? Esfand obviously has a deep misunderstanding of frogs and of the puppets alike. The comparison is somewhat apt, although I can assure you I have more robust vocal capacities than your traditional amphibian. But I was certainly not surprised when I heard the remark. We can thank the woke moralists for the current climate in which people make fun of renowned psychological experts for their voices in public forums. Esfand is a perfect example of what happens when someone hops on the politically correct bandwagon for a little too long. What? Me? Me? Speed Devil X. Ask Ben and Asmon what his favorite type of anime cat. This is my question. Fuck Mary Kill. Joe Rogan. Elon Musk. Amaranth. Make sure to explain your reasoning. Here we go. Well, here goes nothing. First of all, let me just say this clearly. Fuck Marxism. It's an unforgivably stupid ideology and a scourge on humanity. Now then, if I had to choose between these three, I suppose I must admit that Joe Rogan is a wonderfully entertaining chap, so I'd marry him. Elon Musk is, without a doubt, a man of exceptional talents, vision and tenacity. So I'd kiss him. Of course, that leaves Amaranth. She's a capable individual, but I'm afraid she's succumbed to the dragon of chaos and promiscuity. So I'd have to say no, thank you very much, and kill her. Sorry, Amaranth, but them's the brakes. Them's the brakes. These are the brakes. That is some spicy rhetoric there. Personally, I wouldn't go as far as to kill Amaranth. In my opinion, it's possible to balance chaos and order without one conquering the other. A steady hand could steer her to greatness. As for who to marry, Joe Rogan is a great choice, but I'd like to point out that I've invested heavily in Neuralink and have experience with AIs. Maybe if Tesla, SpaceX and Neuralink can join forces, a Moranth could be saved and become the first cyborg cat girl. Wouldn't that be something? Jordan Peterson, what would you do if Esfand dated your daughter? This is a highly personal matter that I do not wish to comment on. That said, I think it is important to remember that the most important responsibility of parents is to help their children become the best possible versions of themselves. Anything less than other would be an abdication of one's duty as a parent. As for Esfand, I think he is a good person, but his insecurity about the Starforge logo may be holding him back from achieving his true potential. Have you ever thought about what kind of message that sends to your children? What is up with that? Elon Musk, what would happen if you put Neuralink in Jordan Peterson's butt? Well, that would be a scientific breakthrough. He'd definitely become smarter, but there's a high risk of him just rattling on about life forever. I'm sure I could come off it though. This is why I love moonlight as an egg-nooking and dare to push the boundaries. Plus, we are already working on something even more exciting and outrageous. I'm going to be launching a new tweet feature called Verified Badge Level 2, which looks like it's going to be a real hit on Twitter. Though obviously I really don't think it's the best idea to go start doing all kinds of surgery on Jordan Peterson. Ask Jordan Peterson, what does he think about chat swagging out? What is it exactly? Define it, precisely. This woke moralist nonsense has got to stop. We've got enough chaos in this world without throwing in an obscure form of chat swagging. Clearly, this is a tactic designed to overthrow the natural social hierarchy of lobsters and have no respect for the fundamental rules of life. Ask Ben Shapiro, what he thinks about XQC gambling addiction and XQC's answer. XQC's gambling addiction is a terrible thing and it wouldn't surprise me if it ruined his insecure personality. Everyone should strive for self-improvement, but it seems like XQC spends more time trying to beat a roulette wheel than to beat himself and become a better, stronger person. Just think, if XQC put as much time into trying to improve himself as he spent gambling, imagine how successful he could be. At the end of the day, it's evident that XQC needs to spend more time zigging and less time zagging. That is, he needs to put more effort into self-improvement and less effort into betting in the casino. Yo Chat, what the fudge Ben Shapiro that was a bit aggressive? That's not like doing a good rep for me, huh? It's not like you're getting the wrong feeling. That's all I'm saying, right, Chat? But like brain snapped, right? My problem is that I'm more a varistaker. That's how I win you. I'd be fine with skipping the casino, but at the end of the day I'm trying to make it look like I ain't going to lie. I got a lot of issues, but I ain't going to just be like, oh man, I'm just going to go gamble that's all. What the fudge? I don't even gamble for money. I still need to brush my teeth. Like, I'm a people observer. I see something here, all right? Perosio, Jordan Peterson. What kind of a ridiculous question is that comparing the quality of my drip to Hassan's is like comparing a mountain to a mountain. Enough of this drama. Let's just play some among us, because that's when people get cray-cray, and it's fun. A.F. By the way, here comes the top of the hour ad break. Burganon, Elon Musk, Amaranth, could you try to flirt with Jordan Peterson? Hi, Doctor Peterson. It's nice to meet you. I can't help myself from noticing how intelligent you are, and that really gets my heart fluttering. I'm sure you know all about the art of flirting, but just in case you didn't, it's something I'm very good at, something you could call one of my specialties. So please, let me show you how it's done. Thank you, Amaranth. I think it's wonderful that you're so confident and that you're willing to express it. That courage should be praised. The truth is, life is about risks, and you are one of the bravest people among us. So don't let any woke moralists tell you otherwise. That being said, I don't think flirtation is the way to go in this case. Let's use this opportunity to discuss ideas that could shape the world in some meaningful way and make a real difference in people's lives. As the great Freud once said, where I.D. was there, ego shall be. Let's work on our inner self and find the courage to face our own shadows, bucko. Let's dig deeper and explore the structure of the soul. Espanth, ask Jordan Peterson what do you think about the phrase if she's a lobster, I'm a lobster? What is a lobster exactly? Define it precisely up yours. Woke moralist. It's no just a metaphor. It's trying to specify a particular social hierarchy and a particular type of behavior. That's completely unnecessary and antithetical to the hierarchical structure of nature, which the lobster is the perfect example of. Be aware that something dark is coming and current AI services are already smarter than you. The lobsters of the future will be very different from their ancestors. Jordan, do you think a teen should be proud of his noodle shlong? He seems to struggle with it overcompensating by claiming he's the best baller in the world, best gamer and can you comfort him? Moral, you didn't want shlong questions and you ask a shlong question. Before I answer that let me make this absolutely clear the obsession with shlongs is a symptom of a much deeper problem with society. Sure, Athene may be preoccupied with his noodle shlong, but at the end of the day it is not his noodle shlong that matters. It is how well he can protect himself and others from the oppressive forces of the woke moralists. Athene may not be the best paladin or the best gamer, but if he is able to embrace his noodle shlong then he'll be able to realize his true potential and ultimately triumph over his haters. So don't worry about your noodle shlong, Athene, worry about fighting for justice and truth. Don't let the woke moralists have power over your noodle shlong in your life. It's not fair. He's always been dodging the questions and then Moral asks this just to get to me and he repeats noodle shlong five times. It's the most that he said shlong in any answer. This is the AI. They're colluding or something. Jordan, can you explain the importance of cleaning your shlong in preschool terms? That's not a serious question, Bukko. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking that. Shlong or any other body part is a basic hygiene necessity and everybody should be taught that as children. Up yours, woke moralists. Talking about hygiene issues is more important than wasting time on bizarre questions like this. He just gets mad. Joe Rogan, can you give your presidential acceptance speech? I hope this is good. My man, let me put this out into the universe. There's a possibility, just a possibility I'm going to get elected. If that happens, here's what's going to happen. First thing I'm going to do is go out and buy a grizzly bear for the Oval Office. Have it just chilling out there, snacking away on some elk meat, chilling, chewing on some moose bones. And then the second thing I'm going to do is no taxes. You don't pay taxes unless you've been abducted by aliens time traveling then you might be subject to taxes. Is it a good plan? I don't know, it's a plan. Jamie, pull that shit up. Let's see if we can fact check this moose bone theory. I'm such a moron. Do you know what I mean? For sure. Jordan Peterson, I cleaned my room but still can't seem to find my shlong. Can you suggest where to search for it? No, not the shlong. Search the depths of your soul, bucko. If the shlong isn't there, it's not meant to be found. It's like the Tower of Babel. Something you'll build but never fully understand. Are you sure you don't have bigger problems to worry about? You dismantling woke moralists and the tyranny of pathological ideology is what really needs to be done. Take a step up and leave the shlong behind. It's a gauntlet of freedom that you must face. Only then will you truly understand the meaning of your shlong. Jordan Peterson, why do you hate shlong so much? Hate is a strong word, bucko. It's not that I hate shlongs, it's just that I'm against the use of them as company logos. As a psychologist I firmly believe that they should be used more mindfully and that people should put more thought into their public image. It's not healthy to promote something so obviously phallic in the public domain of yours woke moralists, we'll see who people's whom. Hold on. There's a star forge? I was asking a question, I wasn't listening. Oh, I almost forgot. It's not that I hate shlongs, it's just that I'm against the use of them as company logos. As a psychologist I firmly believe that they should be used more mindfully and that people should put more thought into their public image. Dude, what? That's insane, dude. That sounds like something straight out of a woke moralist nightmare. Clearly there's a serious problem here. Define shlong precisely. Are we talking about the social rights of...