 J. E. Alphel. Oh! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with Shall We Dance. Whether it's a large dinner party or just a regular family meal, whatever the size of the gathering, everybody is sure to enjoy Jell-O for dessert. Jell-O is so festive and colorful that it graces the most formal party. And it's so easy to make, it's a pleasure to serve it often for family dinners. Jell-O is so popular, it can easily be explained. Jell-O has that extra rich fruit flavor, flavor that comes from true sun-ripened fruit, refreshing and truly delicious, whether you choose strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, or lime. But bear this in mind that only in Jell-O do you get Jell-O's extra rich fruit flavor. So always get genuine Jell-O. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. That was Shall We Dance from the picture of the same name. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Jack Benny. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking. And Don, I must say that was the stingiest introduction you've ever given me. Why, I snub people with more words than that. Well, to tell you the truth, Jack, it's getting toward the end of the season and I'm running out of adjectives. Yes, I know how you feel, Don, and I don't blame you. We only have six more broadcasts and believe me, I'm looking forward to your vacation. Where are you planning to go? Well, Don, I've decided to go to the Orients this year. Japan and China. You know, I've always wanted to see rice without old shoes. Well, that'll be a lovely trip, Jack, and you can make it in about eight or ten weeks. Yes, yes. Say, Don, how much would a trip like that cost? I mean, including the boat fare and everything. Oh, you can do it easily for about six or seven thousand dollars. Not bad, is it? No. Not at all. About, you say, about six or seven thousand. Yes, roughly, but it'll be worth every penny of it. Oh, no doubt. But look, Don, doesn't it get awfully hot in China this time of year? No, not at all. Not even around stoves? Well, that's silly. Say, Jack, why don't you take a trip to Europe this summer? Have you ever been there? No, I haven't. I would make a nice vacation. Of course, they don't grow rice there, but I'll bet you can. Say, Jack, why don't you take a trip to Europe this summer? Have you ever been there? No, I haven't. Have you ever been there? No, I haven't, Phil. See, a boat trip to Europe would make a nice vacation. Of course, they don't grow rice there, but I'll bet you can get it. It's going to be ideal, Jack. It sure would. Say, Phil, does a trip like that, I mean, are the, well, is it the... Oh, the whole thing wouldn't cost you more than three or four thousand dollars. Including tips? You'll probably pick some up. I'm leaving my violin home. You say that trip would cost about three or four thousand dollars. Yes, and that's with your boat trip first class. Well, that's reasonable, isn't it? Yes, first class, too. But of course, Phil, so many of my friends tell me it's much more fun going over second class. I know they say it's more enjoyable. It's cheaper, too. Oh, isn't it? Well, I heard there's very little difference between first and second class. Now, wait a minute, Jack, that's wrong. For one thing, second class has no swimming pools. Well, good heavens, Phil. Who needs a swimming pool? You've got the whole ocean. That's ridiculous. I was saying. Regis? Hello, Jack. Hello, Mary. What are you laughing at? Nothing, I just want to get it over with. Oh, I see. What are you talking about? My vacation. You know, I was thinking of going to the Orient, but it's so hot there in July, and then Phil suggested Europe, but it's cold there. Gee, I don't know what to do. Why don't you take a shower? That's hot and cold. It's a fine way to spend a vacation taking a bath. Well, you want to change, don't you? Well, yes, but not so radical. Is that so? Oh, hello, Kenny. Hello, Jack. Gee, you look all tired out. Well, why shouldn't I? I've just been all around the world. You were? I was a coronation. Oh, keep still. Gosh, I only ask a foolish question and you get mad. My error, Kenny, just excuse me. Say, Jack, I just thought of something, you know? I know where you can go for a swell vacation. Where, Don? Santa Barbara. It's only 90 miles from here, and there's a beautiful hotel right on the ocean. Say, that's a thought. I understand it's nice and quiet there. I mean, I can get a real rest. And what a luxurious hotel. You'll love it. Oh, that's the spot. Don, are the, uh, I mean, would it... Oh, you can get a beautiful room there for $20 a day. Oh? I mean, oh... Say, $20 a day. That includes your meals. But, Don, I'm not hungry. Besides, I hear it gets pretty chilly there on the ocean. You see, I'm susceptible. What's the matter, Jack? He's got a cold in his pocketbook. He must have opened it in a draft. You mean, during the draft, and that was in 1917, folks? Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Phil, you've got the wrong idea. I just don't know where to spend the summer. You'll spend it at home if you don't spend some money. I'm not worried about the money. I'm not worried about anything. I just want to take a vacation. That's all. A vacation. Well, you can take one right now. I'm going to sing. Well, go ahead. And for two cents, I'd go to Ocean Park. You must think you're a latter. Oh, thank you. As the desert breeze, I may wonder where I flee. Yet I keep on longing just the rest of us. We thought tender all takes the place of land and sky. The one alone from the desert song sung by Kenny Baker and Kenny, that was very, very good. Very, very thanks. Isn't he silly, Mary? Very, very. And you will find the jello is very, very tempting, with its six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lime, and a lime and berry. He needs about four more years of that. Don, can you do anything with the big red letters? Yes, look for them on each and every box. Wow! Now, Don, that was clever. And now, ladies and gentlemen, going from the berry to the sublimate, we are going to present, as our feature attraction this evening, the play which you have been waiting for. In fact, the one that you selected by an overwhelming majority of votes as your favorite, our new version of Eugene O'Neill's Ah, Wilderness. You see? Now, I will play the part of the stern old father. Mary will be the stern old mother, and Kenny will be our son who has always stern up trouble. That's good. See, I had lived that one. I got it in my script, too. Copy, Cap. I had it, too, but I rubbed it out. Kenny, don't be so hypercritical. Never mind, let's go on with our play. Where's Andy Devine? I rubbed him out, too. Kenny, don't be so hypercritical. Kenny, don't be so hypercritical. He didn't have to live that one. Never mind, let's go on with our play. Where's Andy Devine? I rubbed him out, too. Oh, hey, Andy! Here I am bucking a rare indigo! That's fine. Now, Andy... Andy, you can play the role of Kenny's uncle. Oh, gee whiz, ain't you got no kissing part? No. Shucks, and I got my lips all puckered up! Well, that takes care of the lips, of the cat. I'm sorry, I haven't a part for you, Don. Oh, that's all right. I'll just sit around. You don't feel hurt about it, do you? No, I'm just terribly wounded. Oh, well, I'm sorry. You got a right to kick after that first plug you gave me. Now, this play will go on. Hey, hey, what about me? Am I in this thing or not? No, Phil, you threw spitballs at me last week, and this is your punishment. So I haven't got a part in the play, huh? No, you haven't. Well, if you hear a knock on the door, watch out. Now listen, Phil, we're attempting real art tonight, and if you do one single thing to detract from, or mob his drama, as sure as there is a sky above us, I will crush you to within an inch of your orchestra. Don't get that close or they'll slug you. Well, anyway, folks, immediately after the next number, we will take you to that little town of Drop Stitch, Connecticut, and present our modest little masterpiece, Our Wilderness. Uh, say, Jack. What? Do I have to be Kenny's mother? Yes, I have to be his father, don't I? That's what I'm complaining about. Oh. The bug will bite you if you don't watch out played by Phil Harrison as orchestra, and now we bring you our version of Our Wilderness by that great American playwright Eugene R. Neal. Uh, the locale is a small town in New England not far from Boston and not near from here, yet quite a ways from Portland, which is certainly close to Huffa. The funniest thing I've said yet. The, uh, and certainly got nothing. The, uh, the opening scene, the opening scene is the home of our young hero where we find his distracted parents waiting for their wayward son, Curtin, music. Yes, Treza? I'm Wilderness. He ain't home yet. Last night he got in late two and told me he was out playing pool. Was he? But then he had red chalk on his lips. Wonder what time it is. Here it is 17 minutes and nine. And that son of ours still gallivanting around. Well, don't worry, Paul. He's a good boy and smart, too. He got the biggest marks in school and stood at the head of the class. Where he got the marks, he had a stand. I tell you, Treza, I don't know what this younger generation is coming to. The way home tonight, I actually saw a young couple holding hands before it got dark. What's the matter with that? When I was young, boys never thought of doing the things they do today. That's why they didn't do them. I never thought of that. You know, Paul, I've been thinking, you really got to talk to Wilderness and tell him the facts alive. He's going on 29. When I was his age, I was wearing long pants. About time he had him pressed. Well, I guess you're right, Maul. That boy of ours ain't a child anymore. Has he got a shaven mug? Yep, but he never shaves it. You know, Paul, I had suspicion for a long time he's raising the beard. Well, if we can trick him into washing his face, we'll find out. I wonder what time it is. 9.14 and he ain't home yet. I put a lamp in the window. The window was clean. Confound that boy. Mr. Cummins! That was over a hundred years ago. I told my horse that, but he poked me out of it. He must be riding Tom Poon. Well, Freeze, you better get the bid. I'll wait up and talk to Wilderness. I'll wait up, too. We may have to gang up on him. That's right. What is it, Uncle Furncliffe? I got bad news for you. You know that Thompson Gal who wears high heels and puts ketchup on her fingernails? You mean Annabelle Thompson? That's the Philly! Well, what about her? What about her? She's been writing her letters. My son writing her letters? I don't believe it. That's Ripley's worry. Quiet! Be careful what you say, Furncliffe. I found one of them letters, and here it is. You did, eh? Well, read it. Read it. It says dear Annabelle. Wait! I can tell from them words. This ain't gonna be pit for no woman's ear. Leave the room, Freeze. Give me that letter, and you leave the room. Listen, Uncle Furncliffe. I've got to know... It says... I've got to know what's in it. Well, it says dear Annabelle, roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. Yours truly, wild or nuts. My son wrote that. Let me see that letter, Furncliffe. Here you be. I wouldn't have minded it so much except for those last four words. And so are you. That's a going too far. Now, don't be too hasty for us. Maybe he wasn't himself when he wrote it. He must have been. Every word is misspelled. Yeah! Yeah, he's only got one G and sugar. Ah, Father. Ah, Mother. Ah, Wilderness. That's the title of the play, folks. Shut up. Wilderness, do you realize what time it is? 9.36. Exactly. You had your mother all upset. Why, she wasn't walking up and down in her bare feet with tears in her eyes. And why? There were cats on the floor. What heavens is there a cat on that food? Wilderness, Uncle Furncliffe found a love letter you wrote to Annabelle Thompson. What do you say to that? Oh, gingerbread. What's your language, son? Did you have a drink before you came home? Yes, Father, a molded milk. A molded milk, eh? Was there an egg in it? Well, I... I... Answer me, son! What's there an egg in it? Yes, Father. Oh. Florence. Control yourself. That's the last straw. But I couldn't help it, Father. I couldn't help it. I was driven to it. I don't care how you got there. There's no excuse. Oh, Pa, you don't know the aches of a lonely heart. I asked Annabelle for her hand and she told me to go jump in the lake. Did your son? Yes, but it wasn't fair. Better be careful, my boy. I knew many gals when I was a young man. Ah, but your mother was different. Yeah, she got hooked. I know how you feel, son. When I first proposed to your mall, she turned me down. Then I felt so bad I drank a glass of iodine. Was there an egg in it? Leave the room, Trisa. I'm going to have a talk with Wilderness about the facts of life. I hope you learned something. Come here, son. You're going on 29 and approaching Manwood. And there are a few things you ought to know. What is it, Dad? Wait a minute. Pern Cliff locked the door, shut the window, and closed the transom. Okay, shall I turn off the steam? That's my asthma. How did they shut that off? Now, First Wilderness, I'm going to read you that letter you wrote to Annabelle Thompson. Oh, Dad. Here, Annabelle, roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. Gosh, did I write that? It wasn't you, Gene O'Neill. I'll handle this, Pern Cliff. Ah, Wilderness, tell me, how would you feel if you got a letter like that? I don't know, Dad, but I can find out. How? I'm going to sit right down and write myself a letter. Write yourself a letter, son. And make believe it came from you. Can't you hear me calling when the leaves are gently falling? I'm going to say things go so sweet. Yeah, man. That will knock me off my feet. Where's my dad? With kisses at the bottom. Gene, I'm glad I got... I hope you're feeling better. You're a fascinating baby. And close with love the way you do. And jello too. I'm going to sit right down and write myself a letter. Ready, baby? Are you going to take an encore, son? No, Father. And sit down while I tell you the facts of life. Do you mind if I leave for us? I heard them. You can go, Ferncliff. Wilderness, you listen to your pappy and stay away from gals like that Annabelle Thompson. She ain't fit for a nice boy like you. Goodbye. Your Uncle Ferncliff is right, Willard. She ain't your type. She'll do to my type comes along. Wilderness, you must forget that, gals. I know it ain't going to be easy at first, but someday you're going to thank me. But I love her, Father. Oh, Pasha. There are plenty of other pebbles on the beach. Gee, how can you neck a pebble? Anyway, Father, I love Annabelle. And if I can't marry her, I don't want to live. I'll kiss myself. That's kill, you dope. Calm down, son. Do you really feel that way about Annabelle? Yes, Father, I do. And you can't live without her? No, Peter. I ain't a goner standing the way. I may be wrong about Annabelle, but if she is the gal you dream, go to her, my boy. Go to her. But I fear it's too late. It's never too late. I'll fix it up for you, son. I'll call her on the telephone right now. What's her number, my boy? Spruce, tree, tree, tree. Did you hear that, operator? Well, get it. Don't worry, son. I'll arrange everything. And I ain't going to stand in the way of your happiness. Hello? Hello, is this Annabelle Thompson's house? Sure is. Hiya, buck! Why, Uncle Furncliffe, what are you doing at Annabelle's house? She ain't your gal. I told her that, but she took me out of it! Aw! Everybody young and old enjoys desserts, and here's a dessert that will make a tremendous hit. It's ice cream, rich, delicious ice cream made with Jell-O ice cream powder, and made more easily and more economically, too. For when you use Jell-O ice cream powder, you actually use less cream and get more ice cream. All you do is combine a package of Jell-O ice cream powder, some sugar, milk, and cream, and you make it right in the freezing trays of your refrigerator. In just a short time, you'll have a quarter-and-a-half of extra-delicious Mellow Ice Cream, the old-fashioned creamy kind. And if you prefer, you can use an ordinary hand-freezer and get the same delicious results. Jell-O ice cream powder comes in five luscious flavors. You'll like all of them. And Jell-O ice cream powder makes more ice cream than most other ice cream preparations you can buy. So tomorrow, ask your grocer for Jell-O ice cream powder. Last number of the 33rd program in the new Jell-O series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. I hope you all liked our play, Aw, Wilderness. Jack, I must compliment you. You did a wonderful job of acting. You really surprised me. Well, Don, I really surprised myself. I hope some picture producers were listening in. If they were, they heard a remarkable performance. I didn't like it. Now, I knew you wouldn't, Phil. You're just jealous because you weren't in it. I was in it, and I'm not jealous. Well, Kenny, you gave a sterling performance. Is that so? I was as mediocre as you were. Well, never mind. Oh, Jack. What? A wire just came in from Eugene O'Neill. Oh, what does he say? It's Jack Benny, NBC Studio Hollywood. Just heard your version of my play, Aw, Wilderness. Aw, me. Well, that's the last time I'll ever do one of his plays. That's in the wire, too. Mmm, good night, Phil. J-E-L-L-O. The Jello Program comes to you from Hollywood over the red network of the National Broadcasting Company.