 You cheated on me? Okay, I'll do the Swaperoony and I will fall in love with the husband of the woman you're cheating on me with Warning royal AI is back to stay Stay till the end for a channel update, but first find out why this episode will be upsetting to cheaters I've fallen in love with the husband of the woman my husband is cheating on me with Let me begin with I'm so sorry as there are a lot of errors in my writings While I think my English is pretty awesome. It's not perfect. So apologies for any confusion This is going to be a long post. I'll do my best to make it short. I Found this sub on a podcast Maybe I can find comfort about what's been weighing me down for almost a year now I'm a female 36 and my husband is 38 years old. We've been together for 10 years We have one six-year-old daughter. She's everything to me. I Found out a year ago that my husband is sleeping with his employee being 30. She's younger than me How? Her 35-year-old husband, let's call him Jay contacted me. He was heartbroken and he thought I ought to know He provided me with the text messages and dates when they've been in hotels. I Recognized my husband's writing style and I recognized the other woman I have seen her on multiple occasions when I visited my husband's work She's been nothing but kind and pleasant towards me and she always doted on my daughter I asked Jay what he wanted to do and he said he wasn't sure yet So I requested that we should meet he agreed I told him about my life and that I'm currently not working as I lost my job during the pandemic. I Haven't had an opportunity to find a job within my field Instead, I've made sure to keep being busy and have been studying these past two years If I divorce now, I won't be able to provide for my daughter That would probably put her in my husband's custody as a primary provider. I Asked Jay if he could wait for a few months Hopefully longer therefore and to my surprise he agreed. I thanked him profusely But he told me that he didn't know what to do either so he's happy to wait Also, the other woman has three children from a previous relationship And he was worried that she would refuse him being in their lives once he confronted her because he's not the father We kept in touch, however He called me a few times a week and soon we started to talk about other things than our failed marriages and shared betrayal Afterwards we started going for walks coffee and movies. I found myself thinking about him often with a smile on my face He was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought of before going to bed For the last three to four months. We probably mentioned our spouses once or twice We talked about anything else and he always makes me laugh. He thinks I'm funny, too Two weeks ago. We were having a picnic and he just blurted out. I think that I'm in love with you When he tried to explain further I drove the point by saying that I'm also in love with him he said that at first he wasn't sure why he was feeling like this towards me and Explained it away as two jilted people finding comfort in each other But that he then realized that he wasn't broken anymore that he even believes of his wife's infidelity as a blessing Because it led him to me That was exactly how I felt, too. I Didn't know what to say. I told him that I'm terrified that these are false feelings that would go away Once we've freed ourselves from those who hurt us He just looked at me and said he was willing to take the risk just to find out He kissed my hand because we were still married and if we did something then how are we better than our cheating significant others? I don't know what to do now. I find myself daydreaming about him introducing him to my daughter Kiss him wake up next to him every morning. I still have one semester left and then I'm probably going to find a job I've already had some offers for when I'm finished with my studies I have thanked Jay so many times for being so patient with me about everything. I Appreciate that he's waiting for me to put my life in order Before we expose our spouses who aren't really seeing each other as often as they used to do He told me he's happy to help and he just wants a real kiss as a thank you when everything is over My goal now is to secure my job and leave this marriage Am I pathetic for wanting to give Jay and I a shot and see where it would go? Can two broken hearts really find happiness together when their love story started like ours? Do the Swaperoony? This is the perfect outcome. Don't overthink it go for it I would love to see both of their faces when they find out you two are together Why worry about them? They weren't worried about their significant others when they were having an affair Is it a good sign that I actually don't care what they do or how they react? I've stopped having revenge ideas in my head months ago I just want to move on and provide a good life for my daughter Because she's my world and she's been the only bright thing in my life since I found out about my husband Jay is now also a bright spot in my life, but mostly my daughter You are absolutely not pathetic and I think it's wonderful something beautiful came out of a horrible situation It's definitely complicated though and won't be easy. So I wish you luck. I hope it works out for you and your daughter The thing I dread the most is people around me start thinking less of me like I'm being petty or trying to get my revenge But I'm genuinely in love with Jay and have been for months now I haven't seen him since he confessed that he also had feelings for me It felt like if we continued seeing each other it would be cheating and I don't want that But we still talk on the phone and text trying to keep it to the minimum though We both feel that waiting is the best Hi again, this is not an update Since nothing new has happened in my life, but I've been feeling so down lately and my emotions are all over the place Hopefully this post will help me sort out my feelings. I'm sorry if you find it confusing, but this is how I'm feeling right now Confusion also, I'm sorry, but it's going to be a long and bumpy ride Like my last one. I'm still busy with my studies, especially now so close to the holidays Thereafter I'm going to have a break until January 16th and the start of my last semester I have got two job offers one with unpaid internship starting in April I like this job very much since I would be working from my laptop most of the days The other one is more of an in-office job, but with better pay I don't know how the custody arrangement is going to be but I feel like a job with more flexible hours is a better fit for me The reason why I'm writing this now Is that Jay and I met yesterday If you remember my last we decided not to see each other at least not as often since the I love you talk We did good keeping that promise, but we still saw each other once since I wrote here And we continued texting and calling each other on a daily basis Yesterday we met on Jay's initiative when I got to the park to our usual meeting spot Jay was already there He had flowers coffee and cake. I love cake and he told me that we're going to have a little celebration He said that today was the day we first met a year ago Yes, it was. I remember that day very well. It was raining then too, but it was much much gloomier I remembered how broken and desperate I was the feeling that my world had ended We talked a lot about the progress we made and how much stronger we both felt now He told me he loved me and it was all he could do not to just leave everything behind and jump into his arms He is so lovely When I got home my husband had already picked up our daughter and they were just joking around and having fun I felt so much sadness and pure horror building up inside of me What am I doing? What are we doing? All of us? The guilt washed over me, seeing my daughter's happy face playing around with her food I couldn't take it. My husband and the other woman haven't texted at all this month And they haven't met either or at least as far as Jay and I know Of course they work together so we don't know if the affair had subsided Or if they just have learned to be more cautious But my husband has been more attentive at home Warmer and more present He says he loves me all the time and that he misses me I haven't been intimate with him since I found out about the affair And even the smallest touch from him irks me And any beautiful word or compliment from him sets my teeth on edge I just want to scream, liar, and I feel like I'm cheating on Jay Accepting my husband's affection and the disdain for myself becomes unbearable Make this make sense, please I looked at my husband and tried to remember what I loved about him, but I couldn't All I could see is his texts to her about how great last time was And what he wanted to do to her next All the things he once said he wanted to do and did to me That made me feel so special I tried to think harder about the love But all I saw was Jay's face I felt immense rage and hatred towards my husband But also towards myself and Jay My husband because he broke us and brought this mess upon us And myself because I felt that I wasn't trying hard enough With my heart occupied with someone else Have I just given up so easily because I love Jay and my daughter? She's the one who's going to pay the hard price of seeing her home break Because daddy is a selfish, greedy cheater And mommy isn't trying hard enough to save her marriage While she is pining for another man I couldn't control my feelings of anger and resentment and guilt So I wrote Jay a long text telling him all of this and more He tried to call me but I couldn't answer him My heart was swollen in my throat I told my husband that I wanted to sleep in my daughter's room tonight Something I've been doing a lot since this all started I cried all night watching her beautiful face so peaceful and happy This morning Jay called me again and we talked for over an hour He was very subdued and I heard the fear in his voice He told me that he respected my wishes in taking a break from each other But also to remember that even when I was at my weakest I still knew exactly what I wanted And that I chose to stay to secure a future for myself and my daughter That I'm too close now to my goal and just to stumble and fail He said he loved me and that he never felt like this before And that he will wait I cried for a good hour afterwards Already missing his voice I knew that my marriage is unsalvageable And that I am doing the right thing Leaving it even with the nagging feeling of guilt That simmering beneath the surface boiling over every now and then Waking me up at night But I need to do this alone now I want to look back with no regrets The guilt is probably never going to go away entirely But at least it won't have Jay's face Now that he's not in the picture anymore So that's what's been up with my life I told you that it wasn't an update really And I'm sorry that it is long and confusing But that's all I have right now I'm not staying in my marriage I don't know if my English is this bad Or people don't bother reading my long boring rants I apologize for both But I'm floored because of the amount of comments and attacks on me As a person and a mother For staying with my cheating husband Please tell me Where did I say I was staying? I broke it off with Jay Yes, but it wasn't because I'm going back to my cheating husband Again, where did I write that I was staying with my husband? Do you think it would benefit you in telling your husband How you're feeling and looking to get out of the marriage? And then seeing what he does with that information Do you think it would be worth it? Hi everyone I know I had a dramatic episode last time I was here And swore not to update again But I'm a woman I can change my mind if I want to, right? Last time I was overwhelmed by the amount of comments And messages about me being a bad mother And I just couldn't take it So I freaked out on you But today I have a little update It's not about me It's about Jay Jay's mom is sick She lives in another city about seven or eight hours drive away Jay went to visit her and he texted me before going He apologized for texting me Because we weren't supposed to keep in touch anymore But he wanted me to know he was out of town I drove over there on Thursday because it sounded like it was serious I arrived at the hospital around noon He looked miserable His mother isn't even old She's only 58 My heart is breaking I could only stay for an hour before heading back home I feel so guilty leaving him alone His sisters live across the world And they won't be able to fly home before Christmas On Friday, Jay came home and broke off his marriage I don't know all the details But he didn't mention to her that he knew about her infidelity Just that he wasn't happy anymore Didn't want to be married to her He texted me and thanked me for visiting him and his mother And told me about him filing for divorce from his cheating wife He's moving back to his hometown to be with his mother He left yesterday But he will be back once more to get the rest of his stuff Even though I understand him And even if I wasn't seeing him anymore The city feels empty and gloomy without him Hi again I'm sorry I deleted my account I am very new to this And I just couldn't handle the criticism I was getting So I deleted my account I have understood now that the internet doesn't owe me politeness And people will say their opinion because I put myself out there And that makes it, I guess, okay for people to say hurtful things Because I chose to share my story I have learned that I could deactivate all private communication So if you have something nasty to say Be brave and put it in the comments instead Although I'm hoping for less amount of negative comments this time Since people were mainly angry that I was taking my time to leave my husband Thankfully, while my account is deleted I still, with some digging, found my original posts I have included them here for those who haven't followed my story I'm still going strong with my studies And as I said, I have secured a job in April With decent salary that will increase with 30% Once I graduate two months later I have also signed a lease on an apartment That is a few blocks away from my daughter's school I can't re-imagine the happiness I felt when I found the apartment But most importantly, that they accepted my bad credit Having not had income for over two years now My new job contract and reference was enough And I have to pay for three months ahead I get the keys April 1st too I still need to talk to a lawyer I just don't want to throw my money at anything before it's getting closer And I need the help I have found a non-profit organization for women That I could call and ask for information and advice I'm not really in an abusive marriage But they have experience of all sorts of marital and divorce problems As I stated, since I found out that my husband was cheating on me Our bed life crippled to nothing In the beginning, my husband didn't seem bothered about it Probably, no certainly Because he had someone else, someone new But with time, it had been over a year now And God, it has been the longest and yet shortest year of my life With time, he started to show me affection again Trying to get intimate with me I avoided him, like the plague He never pressured me, but he was getting upset And I felt him getting frustrated I think his affair had died out by then Or maybe it wasn't as fun and exciting for them anymore I don't know I'm not an expert on affairs and dishonest spouses For over two months now He's been trying to open the subject of our non-existent bed life But I don't entertain it much And just told him that I didn't have a drive Or that I was busy This being my last year of my studies I have been able to keep him at bay And while my explanation and excuses weren't making him happy They were good enough to keep him away That until about a week ago When he wanted to discuss this seriously I told him again that I was busy And that my drive is very low It is He said it wasn't about that alone Repeating that it wasn't just about not sleeping with him We had no more intimacy He barely is allowed to be near me I never talk to him anymore Like I don't make an effort at all I asked him if we could just wait until after the holidays Because I'm too busy And I didn't want to ruin it for our daughter who loves Christmas He then said something that triggered every nerve in my body Something like It was not healthy for a marriage when one partner neglects the other Because then You start looking somewhere else I just said That isn't true Because you started sleeping with her name Way before I started neglecting you He was in total shock First he asked me to repeat Followed by wanting to know more Maybe he misheard Then he started to deny it Then made excuses Then started apologizing Then he started asking for more details And what my plans were When I told him about me getting a job in an apartment He started pleading, trying to hold me Now this past week he's trying to talk to me every day And I have been calm with him He had so many questions Why didn't I tell him before? At least he could have explained She meant nothing to him Yada yada The relationship ended He had no feelings for her It was just physical He loved me and nobody else He even dropped the guilt strategy By demanding I should think about our daughter He regretted what he did And that's why he ended it Why was I not more upset? I told him that I had mourned us for a year And that I'm over it now He still thought it was unfair Because this was all new to him I told him about my job My new place And I asked him to be patient with me And to think about our daughter And put her first in whatever is coming He was so angry That I switched it back on him That he told me that If I thought about our daughter for a second I would have confronted him then and there He asked me to be honest That we could have tried to fix it with therapy And some effort Because he never loved anyone like he does me And he would drop everything else To try and make it right with me But I chose secrecy Plotting and planning my life without him While pretending everything was fine Did I though? I started crying and begged him That however angry he was with me Not to take it out in a way That would affect our daughter I told him that I did all this For her I didn't want her to see us fight I didn't want to leave without having the means To offer her a good life But now he knows everything And it slapped his lies to crumbles Now he's a different person Angry with me all the time He barely looks my way He's still sweet with our daughter though And that is comforting I sleep in my daughter's room most nights I never meant for it to blow up this soon But you can spend your whole time Planning and preparing the perfect exit But life has never been predictable I don't regret my outburst Maybe it was time anyway I will continue communicating with him About the importance of staying civil to each other He is angry now And he feels cheated and deceived And I get that But I need him to put aside his hurt And think of our daughter Just like I did before And just like I did He will get over the pain in time Sorry again for the long post And for the grammar Also Jay's still in the process of divorce too He has moved back to his hometown Because his mother is still very ill I'm afraid His sisters live in Australia They have both come home So it feels good that he and his mother are not alone I have visited them three times Since I heard the sad news But he lives far away So I haven't been able to stay For long periods to support them We talk over the phone every morning though He is devastated No I haven't told my husband about Jay Nor am I gonna If by any chance Jay and I end up together Then everyone will know Including my husband But we are not willing to tell my husband Or anybody about how Jay and I met We've decided that long ago When we were dreaming About our future plans together That we wouldn't tell our cheating exes How we met It is for the best for everyone involved I'm keeping this promise It's nobody's business but ours We don't know what the future holds Jay lives in another town Eight hours drive away We haven't talked about us in ages We have a lot going on in our lives Separately All I care about now Is his mom doing better Or at least not suffering You were secretive while he was What open about cheating on you I'm glad you were getting out of this soon His audacity of putting the blame On you is mind boggling Facts The boy is acting like he didn't have an affair In the first place Many women in my culture always say Men don't like being left They want to be the one leaving And that's what is happening here His low character ruined his marriage And now he wants his cake too His ego hurts Now she isn't begging to work on a relationship That he destroyed in the first place That she is moving on This isn't recognizing he loves her He had the whole year long affair to remember this And simply didn't care He's manipulating you with the Darvo tactic It's exactly what he's doing to you It means deny attack Reverse victim and offender Basically It shifts the focus away from the offender And onto the victim Don't feel sorry for him Tell him he fricked around and found out And to get over it Hold up you kidding me He's mad at her for choosing secrecy and plotting And now he's pouting and playing the victim I burst out laughing at the If you only told me that you knew I was cheating I would have stopped And the Think about our daughter Are you freaking kidding me This dude checks every single box On the discovered cheater bingo card He's just upset that he lost his chance To manipulate her response to it from the beginning By keeping her knowledge a secret She's stripped him of any power In the situation Such that his attempt to turn the tables And reclaim it is just pathetic at this point We all know he's About to use their daughter to mess with her Now that he's backed into a corner though It's what people of low character do He's a worm Whether the relationship with Jay pans out or not I'm glad the cheating Led to her leaving this world class joke There's no way That he magically became so vile overnight She had to have been ignoring His personality flaws Before this whole thing started Otherwise this very fortunately Revealed them to her Either way she needs to go thank his affair partner For inadvertently pushing the issue Wait, I'm totally Kidding about thanking the affair partner I just feel an enormous sense of relief That OP is well past the disillusionment stage And is truly done with this fart Hi everyone I hope you're doing well I was here about a year ago with my story Two years ago I found out that my husband was having an affair With one of his employees Who was married at the time A year ago I was in a different place I deleted my posts But I found them all gathered in one post When I googled myself I will include my old story on my bio To anyone who doesn't remember Or know my story Also the usual disclaimer that my English Will disappoint and my posts Will be long and ranty I have had the hardest year of my life Even if not everything Has been negative I have a great job now with a great company And even better and supportive co-workers I'm so thankful for that I live in my own apartment now That's where the greatness ends Because it doesn't matter how long You have known a person How much you have trusted and loved them Or how much you thought they loved And valued you You don't really know them before you hit rock bottom With them And for my ex-husband I'm so sorry Because he is still refusing to sign Any papers He has shown nothing but cruelty And vindictiveness towards me And at times towards our daughter Making me question why I have chosen to rock the boat I thought I was doing all this For my baby I wanted to give her a dignified life And a strong role model in me A happy and content mother To be her hero She was the one who suffered the most During this time When I told my husband about my plans to leave him He was in denial at first Which was bad But it was nothing Compared to when he realized I was telling the truth He used every means possible to break me And dissuade me from leaving He started with Threats about taking full custody Then he took all my assets from me At first he got primary custody Of our daughter and would refuse me to see her He filed a motion claiming I was too broke And suffered from a mental illness It was rough because he actually Had proof of his claims As I have been treated for depression And PTSD I'm lucky the court made the assessment That I was fit to have shared custody I couldn't see my daughter For eight weeks because of bureaucracy And I thought I was going mad because of that Even contemplating Just getting back together with him To get my daughter back When I finally saw her I was awarded shared custody the same day She was so angry and broken Telling me how much she hated me And how much she wanted to be With her daddy He told me that our daughter hated me Because I'm a bad mother While I knew he was poisoning her mind Even when we shared custody And she started to warm up to me again She still had a hard time loving me Every time she would be different the first day When I got her for the week After she'd been with her father She softens up as the days go by But just when she seems her normal Happy self at the end of the week She's going back to his place And the vicious cycle starts over He tried everything to not to Divide our assets according to the prenup But that wasn't any priority of mine Even if I had to start from scratch I was willing to give him anything Not to make him angrier Not to make him angrier with me So he would take it out on our baby Once he came with the golden suggestion That I could leave him the assets Sign my rights to it away And he would give me full custody It felt like I was blessed And my prayers were answered from above I think he wasn't expecting my reaction As he changed his mind on the spot And told me to forget about it Later I received the message That he would be suing For full custody Again, he was playing with me During this whole ordeal I was feeling doubts and resentment Towards myself For not just complying and obeying him And stay with him until our daughter is older The self-doubt And fear were almost paralyzing And one day In the beginning of summer I wrote a very long letter to him Reminding him of his love for his daughter And I wrote a very long letter to him Reminding him of his love for his daughter And the promise he made to her when she was born He promised to do anything to protect her I reminded him that I am Just a woman And he could replace me any time But that his daughter Is his daughter I begged him not to use her To hurt someone who is replaceable Don't use a valuable treasure as a weapon To destroy a cheap target A target you easily replaced Once before He didn't answer me But he stopped texting And calling me for other purposes Than our daughter She has been happier too And she says she loves me And she loves her daddy I don't know if it was my letter But he stopped all his attempts to hurt me Once when he dropped her off And he apologized for everything he did Back to cheating on me in the first place And said that he loved us And promised not to hurt us anymore He has since kept his promise I forgot to mention that during all this time Since the update before this one in January And when I still lived with him He's been having an on and off again Girlfriend She's 25 I'm okay with that Because during those times I got to see my daughter more And now I even get her on his weeks Whenever they break off again I find myself hoping for them To get back together So I can have my daughter with me In a stable home I don't know what the future holds And I hope my daughter forgives us For what we have put her through Most of the time I regret Asking for divorce when she was so little And wish that I would have waited Until she was old enough to understand But it still feels like It was the right decision anyway Of course As for Jay, he still lives In his hometown near his mother She is very sick and no chemo More procedure works now I have visited them as much as I have been able to He has been great support Throughout this ordeal which always Made me feel guilty Given what he is going through But he always said he is happy to listen And wants to know We call and text each other every day Last month when my husband Had my daughter on a trip with his family Jay showed up at my door He said he just wanted to see me And he had booked a hotel room That he ended up not using He spent the weekend with me In my apartment and it was the first time I have allowed myself to be with him He was everything I imagined And more He said he loved me and it was all I could do Not to start bawling pathetically I didn't know it was possible To love someone this much Jay's divorce is finalized But we have decided Not to make our relationship public Until my life is in order We have waited for two years What are a few more months? I am so much happier now And I am hopeful for the future Not just for me But for my daughter too I am taking her to a professional psychologist I want her to deal with our situation In a healthy way I hope we can all move on And be happy Also not going to prove Reid as it's exhausting Sorry Wow you are a true role model You didn't compromise your worth And used eloquence to talk your ex Out of mentally damaging your daughter You modeled to your daughter That self-respect is paramount To a happy life You fought for her Made your cheating ex realize how he's hurting her And have build a new life for yourself and her You're a superhero Well done I wish you every happiness I didn't see your first post But reading this You are one hell of a strong person You made the right decision for you And for your daughter Maybe one day she will understand it But that is not important for now Important right now Is just that you made it Remember this It helps me at least There will always be sunrise Even after the darkest of nights Bless you What happened to Jay's ex-wife Like the cheating wife You never mentioned her in your updates Well She hasn't been on my mind to be honest I don't think she's a good person though Aside from being a cheater When Jay asked for divorce She didn't seem to care much From Jay's perspective it's because Well he doesn't make enough money in her eyes The main reason I think she's a bad person Is because she told him That he wasn't allowed to be In her children's lives again He hasn't seen them since the separation And it is one of the things I know is hurting him deeply She probably thought she and my ex-husband Had a shot But my ex is seeing another woman now I think she and my husband Had a fallout or a big fight In February because she actually Texted me She was going on about introducing herself As the woman who my husband Has a relationship with Clearly not knowing that we were already separated I left her message on read And just blocked her A few months ago She reached out to Jay trying For reconciliation She doesn't work at my ex-husband's company anymore That brings us to the end of this story The ultimate update We'll be hearing about the cheaters finding out Their betrayed spouses Are into a committed relationship together But for that one We will have to wait When it comes out I will add it to the comments down below Now for the interesting part What would you advise OP? Let us know in the comments Don't forget to smack the like button Into oblivion If you have a good story You're willing to share Email it to contact royalai At gmail.com Before wrapping this up I want to thank you all for your patience And I'm going to be uploading more frequently again If you have any story suggestions Feel free to mail these to The longer the better I read everything that comes in See you in the next one