 All righty, let's watch this whole thing from the beginning and there is sound Thank you, pardon. I forgot to knock Whoa, all right It's good stuff. There's good timing there And looking at your notes here You are saying Boris and the door Okay And the agents hand grabbing his jackets Okay, okay All right, so that's what you flagged there. That's fine I like this. I like that you have the well it says in the sections you have the Pause here. I'm a big fan of that Mechanic seems cool. You got your shoulder involvement coming down and that pull pulls the chest down as well You get your finger change compression on the fingers. You can probably Squeeze this area together a bit more So if you get from this and then we feel a bit more of a squeeze in the fingers as he pulls that down and it's a Feels a bit loose there might just be because of the rotation of the cap, but Maybe it's what I'm seeing here as you get loose here A little bit of a cap movement there It's cool though. The general timing is cool Watch out. This area feels a bit wobbly Let me just turn on the sound just the time just in case here. I think you can simplify that I feel like I'm seeing a lot of Forearm back and forth wiggle in back for back forward there. It could just be part of the lighting, but I think we can just keep this into all swings like a Swinging back towards camera and then swinging forward here That makes sense Hold it in that again. I like that you have that pause and Then the opening and like that swing hold swan out Because he doesn't know he's in danger just kind of like all right. Well, let's get out of here Now you talk about the hands It's a bit loose you're right Yeah, and also intersections with the fingers totally get it and you're gonna work on that Do like the offset finger though and watch out. I think we can simplify this to a little bit Like you already have a bit of an elbow pop here Bam before this happens And then watch out your hand as your hand pops this way and then over this way If you can smooth that out and just give this a nice Move over this way and then watch out. This is a bit of a straight path Going this way. What is he doing? And then he goes up so it could be cool to do a bit of a arc like that Then he hangs here And then set a falling straight down it could be in a cookie something where it goes It doesn't have to be a crazy art could be even a little bit of a shallow arc, but you still have a bit of a Something like that and even tighter if you want to but right now it hasn't ever so slight Feel of this you can do a little bit more flourish just a bit And he is unconscious you only go too crazy, but I think a little bit will be nice You're gonna nice finger hand change. That's nice And even the other one here too as that hand comes out It feels like it's going up like that and you have a little bit of a IK hold there That seems like an IK armor. This is stuck in space and Goes at least it goes this way but same thing with this hands. I will probably do something like that In ever so slight subtle fashion, but I think that would be nice See the hits I Like the hit Let's see could we If you look at your head orientation How much I see with the ear and the nose in the face once you're here pop up pop up pop up pop pop up pop up Unless not unless until we're around here. I see a slight rotation to why but what shot for that step Down and up here. I think you can still push that orientation a bit more There's a slight feeling of this head just being locked in this pose as you go forward I see a bit of a drop down here, but maybe as we get to this As he holds on that step it could be maybe tilted this way it's it like that. It's like this Eminent on that step he gets into that again subtle, but it could be something in there. I wonder if we can simplify this shape I think I don't think it's a shot killer Is it so fast, but I'm wondering if we can have a very clear because you have a this shape this shape this shape This shit, you know where where the the mouse silhouette and the lines are Changing and I'm wondering would there be a cool moment where you have bam, and this is a very clean Shape teeth out maybe even a tooth missing flying off But you keep that shape for two three frames so that when we do this We just read that shape that makes sense because it is a repeat another change on that fast move we still have a slight read of Like everything being pushed this way and staying for a little bit until it comes back into Into that although even here. I feel like this is a bit busy. I know how much control you have over those shapes But that's that I think there But I do like that you have a slight change as you go down The only thing I would say is this feels like this is a certain scale and now you're scaling down Where this feels like an actual scale versus if this is the jaw and then it gets smaller than that I will bring the jaw up So it gets it gets smaller and thinner because it's stretching this way So it's a bit of a you know this way and then this way right now It just feels like a scale war in here without a scale out this way So the volume and mass is changing and it might also be a fun drag to have that jaw You know, maybe he just guy just broke his jaw and maybe it's completely loose now Maybe to a point where at the very end you can see a tooth You know, they're fold out this way everything is loose That could be potentially something But the rhythm is cool How you drop Yeah, it's just a matter of arcs It's cool though. I like it. Let me look at the agent here. I think it's okay I'm slightly reacting to how quickly exits here, but we want it to be clean too Maybe I'm also reacting to I don't know if that's up to you. You can let me know. I like that sudden Comes in and we have this shape and this shape for the full impact that we hold this a bit So we can read it, but I wonder if on the exit, what would it look like the couple things I think that I'm reacting to is that it feels like there's more effort on this body part to go back While that arm is still there and I know we want to read that arm But I think by the time we hear ish Between these two we're done reading it And I think what I'm reacting to is that that the body goes away and has that extension and that stretch Where I feel like would it be okay? Have it like this and as your as your arm comes back and you can see how this is a stretch going back Now it's okay to go back. So by the time we're here, this fist is already gone and it's more of a Relaxed arm. It's a horrible drawing, but imagine your arm is is in a bent pose and not stretchy extend though back Hope that makes sense. You do a fu fu straight comes back so we can read it But now he goes back and that means that your arm is bent your arm is bent And this will be actually not pointed this way but pointed down because we were bent and even the relaxed hand pose Or maybe the index is out the thumb is out. So it's not in that fist. I'm just curious Was there something about punch and then how he's just Zipping back with a fist. I think this could be an interesting contrast to And then a bit more of a relaxed arm back and it will be less zippy because we're starting the arm back After this frame ish here. So you don't have that hold here So it will be this this This or even more gone hand here bent You know For arm maybe here. I don't maybe one more frame. I'm just curious That shouldn't take too long Especially given your talents and then if you want to you can just email me It doesn't have to be a submission. You can just you know Email both like the old and the new version Maybe even as like a side by side and then we can look at what feels better Unless you unless you try it and immediately feel like ah, this is not not a good idea Just let me know all right Other than that the thing that I reacted to the most actually when I was watching this for the first time Is this I feel like subjectively that's going to be hold and The amount of overshoot Coming back and then especially here this recovery Makes it a bit too loose. I don't know why this might just be me again This is not a shock killer because it's very subjective But I feel like this would be a moment of Where zips with a little bit of recovery But a very sharp hold that also works with the music right? See if I bring back the sound a bit more Because I feel like he wants to Zip in to check. Is everything okay? Okay, everything okay All right. Well now I can come in and now he relaxes and I feel like that All of that is controlled and he's checking and he's tight And he's still tense and I feel like that is too soft and it takes away from the tenseness Because he feels like he wants to hit it's attack mode checking all of that is Like it's sharp sharp sharp. I need to check now. I check. Okay. Everything is clear And relax and then he goes into his relax mode That's my that's my reasoning behind it That's cool though The look and I love the timing here Thank you. It's cool. You'll lead there with your eye Follow with the eyebrows. This could have a little bit of a eyebrow Where you know, he's done and then maybe you can start relaxing with the mouth and the brows to get into this That's all cool Coming up here. It's a bit wiggly. I wonder if you want to do a bit more of a Aren't coming out and then getting flat on that wall Just because you it feels like you have a little bit of the couple moments where like this feels like this The chest and the head all are one piece And then you extend counter And then it feels like you're almost overextending and then you pop into a bit of a bend there So just watch out for that And then watch out the spacing of this Even in real time, it's not too bad some reason I'm slightly reacting to the shapes of this Going up and then suddenly to the left Where it feels like it could be a bit of a smoother trajectory because then also elbow wise I'm seeing this Pop here pop here somewhat stay Where it's such a big move you almost want to ease in and over to the bit or or just not pop as much You know if elbow here, but then the elbow may be here where this is Even though this is a nice silhouette. I'm just looking at ways where you can soften That elbow into something like this Because to me again Now he's relaxed and is in his charming mode and witty mode and where all the body moves would be softer This just feels a bit harsh there I think Parton could be a bit bigger if I look at the shapes Beg your pardon beg your pardon. They all feel the same fears more like want want want Now get a bit more contrast in that mouth Beg maybe the bag could even have an upper shape here Beg your par so you have a bit more of a beg up and pardon down your pardon. I forgot Beg your pardon beg your pardon Beg your pardon The only other thing too is that and you look at his face just this beg your pardon There's no real change where he looks at this and then he starts Saying the line. I feel like This is like the last thing of I'm looking at this clearly. He's out Processes that Thought process that we want to see in his eyes and face Where he switches to making a witty remark If that makes sense and right now, I don't see any change there and he starts talking That would be kind of fun to do Beg your pardon I don't know if that's too much something to think about but maybe you would start with a slight Smile and maybe a softening of eyebrows Just a thought there to give it a bit more of a Of a change also as I'm framing through watch out your spacing. It's a bit messy there if you track the nose Let's smooth it out a little bit. Beg your pardon. I forgot to knock I do love this. I love that hot Forgot to knock Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock Pardon. Forgot to knock That being said if I hear the voice. Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock And forgot And he does inhale There's just something where now that it's blinded out. I almost feel like this hop is too much In terms of the height like how high he goes and how strong it is And that the voice is not quite reflecting that amount of effort, but he does inhale Pardon. Forgot to knock I think it's okay. I think it's okay. That was an initial knee jerk reaction. Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock Something for you to think about but I think it's okay, especially with the inhale it works. Forgot to knock Yeah, and then just a bit loose hair like you said. Forgot to knock I think the only other thing is I would reduce That there's a bit of a pop Not like a one-frame pop, but it feels like a very quick head move that then stops and you can see here We're purely in translates where it feels like a sudden head IK And then we pop Back here where your hands go down and the head go back at the same time. So this in real time Feels a bit too cluck cluck And I feel like your cluck cluck could be here, but a bit softer there I Like that look at the end Cool even a slight lift there. It's cool. Careful. You have a bit of a lift There and there. They're slightly tied to each other that screen the right eyelid and the left eyebrow So I would just go here But on that eye dart you can probably engage the lids a bit more So that on that up the lids both let's go up on both sides So that the eyeball has a bit more influence on the lids And then you finish with just a little bit of eyebrow raised there All right That's it. It's very very picky only because it's so awesome and I love it and that's it from me. Thank you All right, there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want You can submit whatever you want you get 16 submissions either way a like and subscribe would be awesome. All right. Thank you