 Get this and get it straight. Crime is a sucker's road and those who travel it wind up in the gut of the prison of the grave There's no other end, but they never learn From the pen of Raymond Chandler outstanding author of crime fiction comes his most famous character in The Adventures of Philip Marlowe Now with Gerald Moore starred as Philip Marlowe. We bring you tonight's exciting story the uneasy head Okay, okay, everybody relax remember them all so so we'll only stand around and wait I'm calling them like I see him. Now you're trying again chump another shot. Yeah Say you slattery happen to know a guy named Sammy Archer. I was supposed to meet him here at 6. That was an hour ago Hey, you're chum another shot Just friend right wander on the side right and the little slattery. I asked you a question Listen chum. I sell whiskey. I sell gin. I sell beer pretzels. I give away, but only pretzels If you're busting with questions, try Louie Louie and a punk in the corner there the guy with the pattern of the air Louie welcomes visitors now. You want to pay with this drink? Oh wouldn't miss it for the world Mind it for me. Would you? Your name Louie. That's me. Slattery tells me you might have some information. I want could be what race Don't want any dope on ponies Louie. I'm looking for a guy a guy like Archer Sammy Archer. Do you know him? No, what's the matter? Welch on a bet? No, well, thanks anyway, Louie I got something good No luck yeah, I thought maybe Louie could help you. He knows everyone in town. Yeah well Here's the Sammy Archer guy I never met Ah Now so long chum. Yeah, yeah, don't go away mad. Oh, not a chance Slattery after all you Hey What kind of scotch was that? It tastes tastes like boiled cabbage heads Slattery, what did you had drink it was dope You know good food timing long time a Hundred years, maybe I felt good The temple was beautiful Chinese beautiful Everywhere like it would work that had the deep bottomless luster of a pigeon blood ruby And a thousand shells filled with ten thousand smiling ivory booters And the lovely streamlined dancing girl Beaming in a white silk Mandarin robe waiting my pleasure But then suddenly the hundred years ran out The like it would work was a bar the boat as lions of whiskey bottles a white silk Mandarin gown and apron the lovely dancing girl Slattery Yeah, yeah Try this bring you around. Yeah Yeah, thanks. Hey Oh, it's you a Dumb do you think I am Slattery? No way you got it wrong chum. I didn't sleep you that Mickey. Come on. Oh, lay back. You're gonna be okay Along with an out. Oh by an hour. You're in the storeroom behind the bar. I just take it slow, mr. Marlowe How do you know my name? Well, I checked your wallet when you folded chum and saw you with a big shot private dick from Hollywood That gave you my vote really. Oh, yeah Yeah, I heard all about you mr. Marlowe the time you nailed that lousy Paul Miles It was hitting all the bars for some old-time protection. Yeah, but you were you should have said to where you was Hey, Slattery got any idea who got to my drink. No, there must have been a bird next to you Ryan water on the side You know here come on help me No, no never seen him before he shoved off when you went to see Louie, but he looked like Slattery. Thank you well You smoke the cigar. Yeah, I got a red face and was wearing a camel hair overcoat. Oh, yeah Yeah, he was nervous he kept playing with a book of matches He tore him out one at a time and then he bent them up. He bent them up Yeah, you don't know his name where he hangs out. No zero chum except that Louie heard him ask someone about how to get The Palm Springs, but Mr. Marlowe, I do know about Sammy Archer. Yeah, I didn't want to talk up before mr. Marlowe because I didn't know Slattery where can I find Archer? Well, uh, you ain't putting him on the spot for someone No, no, nothing like that. He called my office today said he had some kind of a business deal with a guy He didn't trust Wanted me to meet him here at the bar get the details and play bodyguard now come on tell me Slattery Who is Archer where can I find him? He's a second story man, mr. Marlowe. He's a You mean the yeah, yeah, he knocks off fancy places Beverly Hills most of the time He's strictly a prowler. Oh fine. I could probably tag him over a 31 West Grand He's got a basement apartment there, but look you uh, you ain't gonna be careless about the dope I gave out Are you know, don't worry? I'm not gonna work for him Slattery. I still handpicked my clients Well, then why are you going there for a lead Slattery a lead on a nervous guy in a camel hair coat? You see, I also handpicked my enemies 31 West Grand Avenue was a dirty stone tenement propped up by a dirty stone stoop Crack pavement led to the basement apartment which showed a fuzzy slice of yellow light Where the door was cracked open inches So when I knocked I was ready for almost anything Just as long as it was on the seamy side But I didn't expect it to come from overhead You mean he's out. No, he was right A tinny radio led me to the basement room where I found the two Scott wicker chairs in a single end table on hand turned over Draws open and overflowing pieces of discarded clothing everywhere And in the middle of all that sprawled along the edge of a threadbare couch that was weak in the springs Sammy Archer He was facing the eyes closed and wearing a faded blue bathrobe two sizes too big for him And next to one hand that rested on the floor was an empty gin bottle sitting on a on a clipping torn out of a fashion magazine On one side an ad for a bendix automatic wash on the other a Picture of a diamond tiara a jewel crown which the caption said belonged to Mrs. Bessie Dunn's Muir Palm Springs California's most celebrated hostess Now it was a good time to awaken mine host by shaking well Hey, Sammy Archer. Come on. Pull yourself together. I should have known better You can't wake a dead man by shaking him Especially when he's got a knife buried in the middle of his back Fill Marlowe remedy Tribune got time for a few questions Skinny guy with a golf ball complexion in the name Sammy Archer have you heard of him? Say tell me Tony what is he? Hey, wait a minute remedy. What did you just say about Dunn's Muir? Oh No They tag anyone for it God now, huh? Well, let's serve this Christy roach. What's he look like? Thanks now, I'm really getting someplace Two feet from the corpse remedy. There's a textbook on gardening 31 West Grand Avenue where somebody stabbed Sammy Archer to death Now listen remedy if you sit on this a while I think I may be able to wrap it all up for you after a quick trip to Palm Springs Very personal one kid like what like a Mickey that shredded the lining of my stomach. I don't like that kind of treatment It's bad for the ego. I'll call you later. Goodbye The trip to Palm Springs was two and a half hours of hard driving through sterile wasteland And there was plenty of time for me to add what always came out to the same thing Sammy Archer posing as a gardener swiped the Dunn's Muir tiara to pedal through Christy Roach and we feared but Roach had double-crossed him in a Permanent sort of way taking care of me and then headed for Palm Springs Yeah, but there I got stopped each time Why Palm Springs? Well, of course Archer's apartment turned inside out meant that the tiara was still hidden someplace in the desert Hamlet Yeah, that really would make it a cinch to find I'd like to see Mrs. Bessie Dunn's Muir, please. My name is Philip Marlowe. These are gentlemen of the press are no longer welcome Good evening, sir steady chiefs. I have information about the tiara Now tell that to your mistress so you'll only be able to look down that long nose through one eye This way sir if you please the interior of the Dunn's Muir shanty was strictly colossal From a foyer the size and shape of the Union Station to a plush leather-lined den that was about as cozy as a Is a parking lot Mrs. Bessie Dunn's Muir herself fitted perfectly Because as the renowned party giver glided into the room. I saw enough jewelry on her arms ears and neck to match Tiffany carrot for carrot She listened intently while I brought her up to date After that she ushered me to an uncomfortable chair rang for long nose and then asked a sensible question Mr. Marlowe this semi-archer what did he look like? Well, he was thin Mrs. Dunn's Muir and sandy hair Does that fit your ex-gardener precisely now perhaps we're actually going to make some progress the police here haven't done Come in Martin No, no, thanks This is Dunn's Muir did you ever notice a red-faced man who smokes cigars hanging around talking to watch it perhaps No, I never did. Did you Martin? No madam. I don't believe I did Excuse me, madam One moment sir. I'm mr. Endicott madam. Endicott. I don't seem to know any endicott Hello, I'm sorry mr. Endicott, but I don't seem to recollect What? You well Yes Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight here Goodbye What's wrong with this? Just some more trouble over the estate Ever since my husband passed on three years ago. We've had a mountain of trouble with his investments I see well about the tiara Mrs. Marlowe Do what you can about locating it. You'll be rewarded handsomely by the insurance company of your successful I'm sure they stand to lose a hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, but can't you tell me anything about archer? I'm afraid not I don't believe I ever said more than two words to him now excuse me mr. Marlowe And thank you for your interest Martin, please show the gentleman out Outside I chalk the Dunsbury or interview off at face value Proof positive that Sammy archer and the sticky-fingered ex-god number one in the same And I headed for town in the first public phone, which was at a mobile gas station There I swapped a $10 bill for a pocket full of quarters and started calling people back in LA who might know more about Christie Roach The kind of connections he could have in Palm Springs But after four near mrs. I quit and stepped aside to let a big man with a beefy face that belonged on an English bulldog take his turn However, he had other ideas and he pointed them out bluntly with a shiny automatic I wonder if you could help me sonny I'm looking for a diamond tiara. You gotta be kidding. I wear a fedora besides it right there I have news for you sonny While you were gabbing into the tube there the station attendant left closed shop went into the bar next door Out of ear shot so so we're alone and that means I'm going to Stay right there Marlowe well Christie Roach red face cigar and all glad to shut up Come on we're getting out of here without our buddy there. Don't worry about him. I'll he'll keep that way maybe a lot longer than you In just a moment the second act of Philip Marlowe, but first Every Wednesday night CBS the network of the stars brings you Groucho marks in his dizzy quiz You bet your life be sure to hear you bet your life starring Groucho marks this Wednesday night on most of these same CBS stations as well as dr. Christian and that bright new musical show the ABCs of music Now with our star Gerald Moore the second act of Philip Marlowe and tonight's story the uneasy head The way Christie Roach had brought his gun barrel down on the Bulldogs scalp I know he met it when he jammed the same gun into the small of my back and marched me to my car He didn't relax and so we were driving down a dark side street toward the center of town Well kids you jump right out of the frying pan into the fire you should have taken that first hint. I tossed you the Mickey Yeah, that was that was real cute. It was too subtle Christie. I didn't really peg you till I found Sammy Archer It's too bad about Sammy that was more or less of a mistake. Oh, sure You only intended to carve your initials the knife slipped. No, no, no no slips kid At the time I thought Sammy you tried to pull a fast foot on me, but I found out later He was just stupid He had a great thing and he was just too dumb to see it As for you turnies the first chance you get and don't run any stop signs, you understand Where we going? Oh, no place in particular just so it's nice and quiet You know, you don't know when to quit Marlowe. So now you're just one of the loose ends I've got a tuck in before I clean up my business here Take it easy on the corners. You told me to turnies the first chance. I also told you to mind your man Busting my wrist isn't gonna help my driving much. It'll be worse the next time I've got a lot of ground to cover yet tonight. I want it smooth. That's too bad This is a bump coming up fast right now. We picked up a tail. Take a look Cops. Yeah cops call it laughing boy. You're the skipper. We race them out of town. Or do I pull over over? I don't know what that beef is but play it straight kid because if it comes to shooting you'll be the first to drop Can't you read buddy? You're in a one-way street. You're telling me. Yeah, only you're going the wrong way Yeah, I know. Well, you see my friend What about him? Well, he's in a hurry up sir. I was taking him as far as the corner there He said it was okay to come this way. I didn't I'm a stranger here. Uh-huh. Also, you're a big boy now You should make up your own mind. You're so right. You're a Mac if you're in a hurry you can go but you better get out and walk Thank you. Your friend here is gonna be tied up for quite a spell. All right. Let me see your license Maybe the limb of the law and I should have nailed him right then and there But there were still too many loose ends and I wanted Christy Roach to clear them up for me So I watched him walk out of sight while I listened with half an ear to a lecture on blind drivers Well, it was a small enough price to pay for the service rendered So I thank the officer for the ticket and then Headed back to the filling station and a bulldog with a headache who might be in a mood to talk When I got there, I found he hadn't waited around After that I checked the neighborhood and was 15 minutes getting to first base which turned out to be the bar of a French restaurant across the street Run by one. Monsieur Jean Coré a high octane number who apparently had overheard a phone call earlier Immediately notified the police Nothing they say believe me my friends the lolliest gendarmes in Paris would have more sense Throw away an important clue never Mr. Coré can I see you a minute? I But of course, monsieur. What is it? Well, it better be in private, huh? It's about the Dunsmuir case No, no, no, no step this way. All right Naturally now look, I understand you overheard a phone call. Oh, yes about an hour ago a Suspicious man called the dance music place from here. What do you look like? I am desolated. Monsieur. I do not know You said it was an important clue. I assume it was important in a case as big as this Anything may be important this small. Yeah, you made your point. You made your point Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, no, he made an appointment. I only overheard monsieur The telephone is back this way in the alcohol out of sight. Yeah, I was passing by right here When I heard the man asked for the dance beer residence He talked to his party and made an appointment. I I couldn't hear where or when so I went on about my business but suddenly a Memory exploded like a bomb in my head They see Dunsmuir the owner of the stolen tiara. I rushed like this But he was gone monsieur I called the police at once the rest I can fill in now Tell me something else. Mr. Corey. Did you happen to notice a man with a cut on his head around here a while ago? Yeah, well, yes one who looked as ugly as Satan himself. I saw such a one in the washroom. Ah You mean you suspect well, not exactly nobody's connected. Where can I find him? You asked me as you he was sick. I tried to help him, but he refused that left. You have no idea where he went No, but wherever it was. I'll wager. He was too wobbly to get there monsieur. All right in that case I better make a quick call I can't imagine how she keeps up that elaborate front of her. Why do you know? What madam hang up the telephone at once I insist I beg your pardon in the name of the police Monsieur is a detective. I demand you clear the line. I've paid my nickel. I never mind skip it But I would like to know about those bent matches on the floor. What do they mean? Better skip the call and get going fast. Oh, you've been a big help. Corey. Maybe I can get you the quarter gear The bent matches that lived at the floor under the phone meant that the man who had made an appointment to meet with Bessie Dunn's Mule had been the fence Christy Roach and to top it off. She'd lied about it Didn't make any sense But I added it to the rest of the question marks and made a beeline for Bessie's mansion I parked a block away from the place walked back and let myself in for an iron gate at the side wound up in front of a car half hidden in a clump of hibiscus bushes a Man was leaning in the open door with a match in his hand reading the registration on the steering post It was the bulldog. I'd seen first of the gas station When he saw me his hand dived under his jacket for a gun, but I was on him before he could get it out Yeah, do for another dose of the same buster unless I get some fast answers The time for games is over and even a private detective can run out of patience Yeah I don't get it This guy belongs to the guy who helped you a fence Christy Roach And if he's inside I don't didn't help me and you've got to do nothing till I find out about you. Who are you? temple front temple Ambulance insurance company. Oh, no, we're covering the missing tiara Only something's a wire an insurance investigator. Yeah. Yeah I'm not gonna make it fella My head it You better get in there and stop When he passed out he sagged against me like a sack of wet wash I Stretched him out on the grass and after one look knew there was nothing more I could do I Went over to the house and quietly tried locked doors all the way around until I came to an open one in the butler's quarters A bed lamp was on so I braced myself for another meeting with Martin When he came to the door Was in his night shirt as soon as enough of his chin was showing I swung It was a distinct pleasure I Stepped over him and went through his rooms and on up the long hall of the main part of the house I finally located Bessie in the leather lined den She was alone with judging from the rate. She was burning up the jittery cigarette in her hand She expected trouble at any moment Why are you here just checking up on a lie Bessie I don't know what you're talking about your late day tonight Incidentally, he's due any second now his car is outside on my ground. Yeah. Yeah surprised What's so important about that? Now look you better tell me all about it Bessie. No get out of here get out later Right now this setup is so full of holes even the truth is leaking out First roach the fence figuring Sammy out to the guy who swiped your tiara was pulling a fast one And he changed his mind and got a new angle Second you brushed me off because actually you're afraid of finding the tiara and third the insurance company that's covering your loss is suspicious Yeah, it's screwy, but it can only add one way like the tiara that was stolen from me yesterday is worthless Are you insane? It was famous fabulous worth a king's ransom. Yeah, the original maybe Not the cheap duplicate Maybe fuzzy on the details, but the big pitch is easy You dismantled the original and sold it probably quite a while ago But not before you made a duplicate to keep up appearances so gossips wouldn't know you were going broke Also, you kept up the insurance on it for the same reason and the duplicate was stolen People knew you'd been robbed so you were forced to claim the insurance But you knew that if the fake was recovered legally you'd be prosecuted by the insurance company and disgraced Sure Christy roach knows that too. He's coming here for blackmail, isn't he? Why else? Come on Bessie. You might as well you Might as well What are you looking at? The cigar butt there on the floor. Oh, it's burned a hole in your rug What happened to make roads drop a cigar Bessie? Where is he? I don't know what you stay away from that desk I mean it Bessie next time. It's for keeps now stay back. Where is he? Closet there. I didn't know what else to do You're right about the blackmail about everything. I had to kill him. He'd have wrecked my life Just your way of life That was top-heavy anyway, I guess so But I thought I had to have it that way Well At least I'll give them all a big laugh on the way out Bessie Dunn's mure is a great entertainer As he done smear the world's greatest hostess invited the police and reporters out herself The fake tiara was found in the back of Rocha's car And she wore it cocked over one eye for the benefit of the press the photographers and her friends By the time that party was over it was almost dawn Bessie was right the papers came out and the giggles began But Fred Temple drinking coffee under a head full of bandages didn't see much to laugh at. It's pathetic Something awful said this someplace Marlowe. I agreed an easy lies their head that wears a crown even a phony one The adventures of Philip Marlowe bringing you Raymond Chandler's most famous character star Gerald Moore are Produced and directed by Norman McDonald and are written for radio by Robert Mitchell and Gene Levitt Featured in the cast were Verna Felton Wally mayor Lou Krugman Ben Wright John Daner Edgar Barrier and Charlotte Lawrence the special music is composed and conducted by Richard Orant now a special announcement for Philip Marlowe fans Next week Philip Marlowe will be heard Wednesday night at 10 p.m. Eastern Daylight savings time Be sure and be with us again next week on Wednesday evening when Philip Marlowe says This time there was an innocent aboard a noisy corpse and a quiet killer But before I knew which was which I'd mixed with all three while going 70 miles an hour That warm weather's here many of us will be doing more driving and more walking It's the duty of every motorist in every pedestrian to take every precaution So that we may cut down on the terrible injury and death toll Exacted by traffic accidents These accidents don't just happen. They're man-made somebody causes them Make sure that you're not responsible for a traffic accident walk and drive carefully The life you save Maybe your own This is CBS where Philip Marlowe will come to you on Wednesday night the Columbia broadcasting system