 Greetings, everyone. This is James P. Madonna of Megalife21 and Progressive Discussions. And before I go on to do my next video talk show, I am stopping by from my immediate area off Route 17 South in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey, the one and only, the famous Bendiksteiner, as seen on the Jerry Seinfeld Netflix series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. That's right. It is in my close area and I love it here. Outstanding food, outstanding coffee, and I will go in soon before I go on to do my next show. Oh boy, here we are, maniacal madness. During a heatwave, we're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave. Did they say we're having any heatwaves today? Well, I leave. If it's over 90 degrees with high humidity all week, I call that a heatwave. Leave him alone, leave him alone. No, he's focusing. Plus, he always has to be right. So, have you cleaned out that very heavy purse of yours yet? A little bit, a couple of things. A couple of things. Oh my God. Only one item? More. I don't like to get ready to see this shit made. Yeah, but hoarding doesn't make sense. Hoarding doesn't make sense. If it's garbage, you throw it out. You know how much stuff I throw out? Oh my God. My grandmother used to be a hoarder, not severe. Well, you know what it is? People that grew up during the Great Depression, they tend to be hoarders and they tend to be, what's the word, kind of tight with the dollar. You know, skin flints. People that didn't have much money, right? Yeah, they become cheapskate. In the Depression, they didn't have much money, right? And then my grandfather used to say they used to eat bread and onions for dinner, but they become cheapskates or skin flints or tight wads. You know, things of that nature. But there's no excuse. There's no excuse. He heard you. How many times you've got to say it? Of course he heard you. Jimmy wasn't here yesterday. What was that all about? Jesus, Eileen, what's wrong? The amulet needs its bed. Yeah, like he doesn't prepare the fucking bed. Do you relax with the goddamn napkins? No, you like the amulet to have its bed ready. I never said that. When I took it off, you kind of scolded me that one time. No, I didn't. You're imagining like she is. Anyway, during our tropical heat wave, did anything good happen yet? I don't know. That means nothing happened. I don't know and I don't care. Eileen says she cleaned out her purse. She took two items out. That's not cleaning out your purse. An expired coupon. Jimmy took three out of his purse. You should see the garbage I throw out. Yeah, you have a big purse. I know how to distinguish that which is of value and that which has no value. I smell whiskey. Oh, good man. You tied one over. I did. It's good. It takes the edge off a life. I smell booze. It's okay if you had a shot. Oh, God, he's wound up today. Oh, no. I've got the two of you wound up now. Oh, Jesus, what do you all fucking hate me? Christ. Oh, God. Well, you're Irish. So, Eileen, are you making sure that swamp ass never occurs with you and your friends and family? You're hung up on this thing, aren't you? No, it doesn't rise you up. You're the one obsessed with it. It's kind of funny. No, it's not. Well, you don't want to talk to me about it. I mentioned it one day. Just mentioned it and you haven't let it drop. It's old hats. Old school. Do you consider the fake stones outside to be old hat too? Yes. Okay, then I won't mention it. Oh, God, what's to say about that? There are fake stones. So what? Well, it's a maniacal mad day. Look who's here. Who? Portion over there. Are you happy now that he's here today? You're happy, too, now. You were worrying yesterday. Where's Jimmy? You think he's going to show? Is it too late for Jimmy? I was occupied. He wasn't occupied. He was doing nothing. He was avoiding you. If I was really doing nothing per se, I would have been here. What were you doing so important? I was having some iced coffee with a friend. Where'd you go? Dunkin' Donuts on Main Street, Lodi. Oh, boy. I had a giant hazelnut with no sugar, just cream. Wow. Awesome. Now you're here with your other friend, and everything is beautiful. That's why I said maniacal madness. It's on the way. Oh, I need that ukulele now. Yeah, you do. Anyway, don't count on the heat wave ending the end of this week as it's not. It's going to end, I think, Sunday or something. No, he's lying to you. It's not me. It's the National Weather Bureau. Jimmy's not making it up. He's repeating what he heard on the news. Now, remember the days when he used to call a dresser a bureau? My grandmother used to do that. So it's a federal dresser of investigation? Yeah, man. Are they spelled the same? You would know that. Yeah. English language is a very odd language. You know, it's silent letters. No, I think it's the best. It confuses everybody. It's like a burrow, like the burrow of town. Like the author, Edgar Rice Burrow. Yeah. Right, Simon. Come on. We want your input, Eileen. You said you're like hearing crickets or something. She's the college graduate. She's supposed to know. Start acting like a graduate, will you? I'm a college graduate. You are a Y, Eileen. It's probably the heat wave. Y, Eileen. The lady had me out in the heat to put my medication in the pill box. Wait a minute. I took you out in the heat to put your medication in the pill box. Why do you need to go out in this weather to fill your pill box up? I couldn't do this in your apartment. She was pregnant. That's not good for her either. And her nose was pregnant. So you all went outside in the heat. And she didn't want to be in the air conditioning because it would stuff her up more. Oh, my God. He would be good. Eileen, what the hell is going on here? She wanted to be out in the heat. Tell her I don't want to be. Oh, my God. I didn't do the pill, Phil. Why didn't you? Oh, my God. I guess I should have, but I didn't. It sounds like your nursing aide needs a nursing aide for herself. She's nuts, baby. She's nuts. It wasn't the aide. It was the lady giving me my medicine. Let me ask you a question. Eileen. If you have asthma, allergies, or whatever, isn't it better to be in a nice, crisp air conditioned apartment than to be outside in 90 degrees plus humidity? Come on. You're a smart girl. What makes sense to you? Did you say anything to her when she came up here? She said I don't want to go out in the heat. I didn't say anything. She didn't say anything. So this woman's jacket. Did she tell you she made the appointment? Yeah. Dr. Rigolosa, she told me. I told her the dentist right next door got five stars. He's going to say I don't have any wax. I can hear it though. He's going to say everything's OK. Don't mention that you know me because they'll take it out on me if you want to. No. First thing you say. I'm only here because of Jimmy Madonna. That's Madonna. Like the song Lady Madonna. I'm here because of Jimmy Madonna. And what was that end of the song where they went do-do-do? The beaters went poop-poop-poop. What was that? That's where they went in the noise. That's like when a partner's family used to go follow-la-la-la. I don't know. I can't think. Well, that's if you don't have any lyrics and you have no talent. And they used to go follow-la-la-la. I wouldn't know. Anyway, yeah. Lady Madonna. I know she's happy now. Children at your feet. No, I told her about... She's happy because you're here. Dr. Moon got five stars from everyone. Who's Lou? He's a dentist. That's right next door to Dr. Rigolosa. Well, she's just happy you're here. Aren't you? Aren't you? But this is very minor. Right? Good to have company. Company. You got stuck yesterday, huh? You were telling me too, though. They kept asking you about Jimmy Eileen. Why was that Eileen? I asked about you when you're not here today. No, you don't. You asked about Jimmy Eileen. I asked you what you know about Jimmy Eileen. Eileen, why did you ask about Jimmy Eileen? Listen. Bill, why did you ask about Jimmy so much, Eileen? Listen, Chickie Pooh. When I'm not here, if I'm not here, Bill gives good advice. You should take his sound advice. Does Eileen worry a lot about my friend Jimmy Madotta when he's not here? Well, thank you for your concern. I appreciate your concern. Is Eileen overly concerned about my friend Jimmy? Uh-oh. Well, he ain't good. He's a dog. He ain't good. He's a dog. Yeah. Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing? What's he laughing about? I don't know. What's he laughing about? I don't know that too, by the way. No, I go by what she does every day when you're not here. God damn it. She goes, where's Jimmy? You think he's coming? It's too late for him to come, isn't it? I said, I don't know. I said, it's your turn. Why are you driving this poor man nuts about where I am? I said, I don't know. Are you my keeper? Yes. Yes. By the way, speaking of, what happened to the refurbished central air conditioning I didn't hear you. Yeah, I didn't feel it. No, he means the wind, he's down the street. Why don't you go tell him, could you please turn the air up a little bit? No. Remember when the owners... Why won't you do it? Remember when the owners were smiling at me from ear to ear. She's too shy. Being so friendly. That's what the carnival hucksters do before they stick it to you. Don't say hucksters, she thinks it has to do with corn. Well, that would be a shuck, a shuckster, actually. I feel like I'm being stalked. Got it? That's pretty good. K-O-R-N-E-Hawk, K-O-R-N-T-V. You felt the breeze? Do I think it's on? No, I think it's on slightly. I think it's on slightly. Got it. You don't need to squeeze your ass out. And they freak right. You can see your breath coming out of your mouth. Or as a Brazilian woman said... I can see your breath no matter what the temperature. You know what a Brazilian woman said? She couldn't pronounce a mouth. She said moosh. I said, what the hell's moosh? You like this guy, don't you? Huh? How did you get mouth from moosh? How did you get moosh? No, I'm not. I'm not lying. She likes everybody. No, she doesn't. She's a worldly person. No, she's not. She likes Jimmy. Yeah, just... I lean likes her Jimmy. This doesn't. Like the fake rocks more, please. We're getting nervous, aren't you? Because it's becoming old hat. No, it hasn't. It's just getting started. It's just getting started. Old hat, brother. No, I'm brother. But when I mention other things, you say old hat. Well, certain things are. Certain things are. Well, this is old hat. It's not old hat. You say it to me all the time. She says, no, you misinterpret. She's asking where's Jimmy. A thousand times. Yes. Well, that's obsessive, isn't it? You think? I'd like to know what's going on. Are you dividing him between you, him and Ray? Oh, my God. Nothing went on between me and Ray, Bill. Uh-huh. Why did you run out the door so fast, then? Don't give me that BS, Arlene. I went because I was bored with the thing. Yeah, yeah. You two whispering together, he leaves your lesson. 30 seconds. I know what I did. I got by. You know what got me seriously? I'm asking you to beat the bank. You said it was because I called you odd. Yeah, well... Now, whoa. I didn't even... Wait, you shut up, too. I didn't even talk to you that day. Jimmy was here. Whoa. Joe, whoa. No. Jimmy was here. You and Ray were talking the entire time. I didn't talk to you at all. He and I spoke together. All of a sudden, he gets up at least. You follow suit. I didn't talk to you. So where'd you get all this... And as you... The thing I called you odd. And as you were... No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Because one thing I don't say is the word odd. That's for that. That's one word I really don't use. No. He did not say... I'm a liar. He didn't... Whoa, whoa, whoa. He did not say any of what you said. Wait, wait, Jimmy. Why, for a minute? That day that Eileen jumped up and ran less than 30 seconds after Ray. Did I say that she was odd? You're lying. Look at this, look at this. When you... Jimmy, look at the size of that swing. Look at the size of that swing. Look at the pendulum. Look at it. He knows I didn't say you were odd. Why are you talking about everything else? You accused me of saying that. The pendulum could shake all the way, but I knew what I heard. Yeah, in your own mind, yes, you know what you heard. But in reality, in your role... When you ran out that door, our heads turn and go... Where the hell is she running to? Look how she ran into you first. She can't even say goodbye. What's this all about? Look how fast she's running out the door. Oh, you weren't looking. Remember, I said, look at that. I guess she didn't even say goodbye. You dashed and you didn't say goodbye. Nothing. Or so long. You whisper in the corner of that back seat right there. And then you accused me of saying you're odd or something. That's right. Why was Ray whispering to you while he was sitting there? What was that all about? What was he whispering? Why did he need to whisper? Look at the look on your face now. I know what he probably said. Well, you should be mad for lying to your friends. Come on. Do you think Ray... If I knew how to relive... I'm not lying about it. Was Ray saying... Was Ray saying I have a new king size memory phone mattress that I'd like to show you, Eileen? Was he saying that? He wasn't saying any of that. Oh, okay. Lady... Does Eileen have a wild imagination? You know Jimmy? No, you got that song stuck in my head. Lady Madonna. Oh, my God. I never said you're odd, Eileen. That's wrong. I thought about that the other day. I said, wait a minute. I didn't even talk to you. You were so busy with Ray. Listen, sometimes me and Billy... But I have to stand up for him. He did not say odd, strange, bizarre, or anything of any... We didn't even mention anything about you. No. He said verbatim. Look at her. Look how fast she's... I said, look at this. You didn't even say goodbye. She just ran out the door after Ray said it. Ran out the door? Yeah. After... You were scuttled. You were... And you were... I am. Like you were like... And now you're mad because we tell you the truth. Like you wanted to jump on Ray like he was... Like he was a prime rib of beef. Wait, wait, wait. Our friend Eileen, if she mad at Jimmy and I because we're telling the truth. Like he was prime rib. Look at how big that goes right into her yet. Look at that. You ran behind him like he was rib-eye steak, like he was certified black Angus age rib-eye steak with him. I know what I saw and I know what he said. And he did not say... Then you accused me of saying you were odd. I mean... It doesn't matter. The point is you said that I said you were. And I did... I'm not odd. I'm just an average person. You're missing the point. Maybe I can't do things that other people... She's missing Jimmy. I can't get through. I'm missing the point. But that's not the point. That's not the point. Why? The point is you accused me of saying you were odd. But I'm just like everybody else. That's not the point. That's not the point. The point... I didn't shut up. Jesus Christ. The point I'm making is you said that I accused your being odd and I never said that's the point. I'm gonna have a big glass of cream sherry when I get home. Eileen, you're just right. Like right now you just threw it at me. Eileen. I never said you were odd and you're saying I'm... That's the point. You accused me of it and I didn't do it. You have a cause... You have a cause to grieve. Why do you have the need to save so much literal junk in your purse? Why don't you... Why did you only throw out two things? Oh, sure. What did you throw out? Can we ask for that? One... You know, one... Woo! An expired coupon. But the thing weighs a ton. I picked it up one time. I bet you still have Jimmy's phone number in there, don't you? I don't. You want it? You want it? No, no, no. Yeah, she has my phone number. A million... A million cards. That's why it weighs so heavy, right? Listen. You want his number? You gotta... You gotta use your college education to determine what is junk and what is not junk. And then throw out the junk. I'm... I... That trade's not gonna move. Don't worry. Keep looking at it. I'm junk. No. It's just quality. This is what you need. No, no, no. Just don't start that crap. She does need you. Cut it out. She does. Oh, you can have the perfect ten go-go dancers that come in here, but I have to have... Yes. That's how it goes. No, it's not how life goes, sir. Oh, yes it is. Yes, it is. Shake it not, sir. Mr. All-In-Line. Shake it not, sir. Mr. Jesus. Mr. What? Internet. Yeah, but I don't... I look for red flags, my friend. Don't get a stop and don't worry about it. She's a nut job. Don't... She's a wacko out there. Oh, God. Come on, man. No. Well, I... Yeah, I... I tell you the truth. I listen to you when you give sound advice. I always give sound advice. And your father taught you very well. You know. I don't ride a bull. I kid a lot, but I don't... Because, you know, he's like... He was like the Doseki's man. He was a worldly person. He was worldly and brilliant. But he was a man of the word. Well, I would have grabbed your whole purse and lit it on fire. I would get... I would give him the matches. Oh. Why are you... You wouldn't try to hatch that thing or what? Yeah. What's in it? What is that? Grab it, grab it. What's in there? A dinosaur? What do you have? A dinosaur egg in there? I need a blanket too. I... I always have to be versed in with my... With my sheet of blanket or something like that. I need something. You mean a baby blanket? We all have blankets. You can say we know. I don't know. Why would it or something like that? This is gonna be a long... I think I gave you that quilt. Did I? That queen size quilt? That big fluff... Oh, no. I'm sorry. I confuse you with one of my mother's caregivers. No. No, I'm sorry. Probably Eileen is a Christmas gift. You probably gave it to you as a Christmas gift. I lie there if you would tell me. Believe me, if you had that much of value in there... I don't think it would be in there. I don't think it'll be anywhere. I got gift cards in here. Well, they probably expired too. Oh, okay. You know, Bob the Account, he used to have expired coupons in his wallet. He would love Eileen. Did you get him in here? He had rubber bands around his wallet like George Costanza of Seinfeld. He had rubber bands, not just vertically, but horizontally. Yeah, so it really held everything together. He had held all the garbage. He knew all about shrinkage too. He would tell you all about that. Triggers? Yes, triggers. You know my grandfather, my grandfather who grew up in the Depression had rubber bands around his wallet. God rest his soul. I think there's a pattern here. I think when bands are only good for shooting people. You like that purse, don't you? Look how she hugs it like a... Boyle, would you sleep with that? You don't. Wait a minute. You could be a spy. You could have a nuclear device in that purse. We don't know. How do we know you from... Hey, how do we... You're packing a gun, aren't you? I'm what? You heard me. You heard me. AR7. Oh, see, then you heard the gun. You just, what? Oh, I have a gun, you say? I said you're packing a gun, aren't you? Now, Billy... You don't have to go on. You don't have to go on and on. I quickly to the point. I said you're packing a gun. Billy knows about Secret Service. You might be an agent. This all might be an act. My cousin was a Secret Service agent. This she was. Little Annie was tiny, two, five, three. She was a Secret Service agent. Well, they want you to blend into population. Annie, you know, beautiful girl. She'd confiscate that purse. I said, Annie, take her purse away. Let's go to the bathroom and go through it. Yeah, right. Like we're going to find gold bullion, gold bars in there. They'll find your folder. I don't even think Fort Knox even has the gold bars that they used to have. I'd like to know, I don't know what they have anymore. I bet they transferred it and nobody... Well, what's down here in this mint? Yeah, nobody knows. You going to read? Well, when I worked... You'll leave your purse? I'm bringing it with me. You don't trust us, do you? Oh my God, look at this. I don't trust us, do you? All that junk that... All that junk that she has in there and she took it with her. Well, when I had a... I thought about that the other day. So anyway, she used me to say she was odd. You never said that. She was busy with Ray on the fucking corner. You and I talked. They jumped up and ran out. When did I say you were odd? I never heard you say that. Never. That's not what it was. I used it, you know. You don't put down... No, but you don't put down people that might be challenged. What is up with that? Oh, what I was going to say. I had a temporary assignment from Mellon Bank. You know, I think they're out of Pittsburgh. Richfield, New Jersey. They had a vault that was thicker than the one on Get Smart. You know what they had in the vault? They were the... What's the word? The custodian of common stocks. Millions and millions of dollars of common stocks. You know that? Yeah, you told me. You know the Mellons. No, I'm related to the Mellon family. On your mother's side of the family. Mom explained to me one day, and I don't remember. I just find out. It's a big bank, right? Did I... Just explain to me one time. Am I related to the incredibly wealthy Mellon family out of Pittsburgh? Yeah, I believe you. Probably. Mom, what do you want? No, no. I mean, I don't... I just don't remember. Yeah. Now, is the word custodian of common stock certificates the right word? No, he didn't carry a pail and a moth. Okay. Why don't you go in the bathroom? She's okay. Yeah, yeah, that... I'll get the door, though. That'll really... No, I'll get the door, she will do it. That'll really... I mean, Jimmy's coming in. I might as well commit suicide. I'm... I rather... For me to do that, I might as well swallow a cyan outcome. Hey, Joseph. Jimmy wants to talk science with you. Jimmy wants to talk science with you. It looks like him, doesn't it? I know, doesn't it? He does, that's why. Oh, you know... You know what would aggrav... Wait a minute. He's really... He made us. That is true. I think that's him. You know what would aggravate him? If we asked him if he was a Chinese spy from mainland China. Espionage. You gotta hear what he's saying about you. What's that? Espionage. What's that? Are you guilty? Are you a spy from Russia? Are you faking this American act? This common American... I'm being funny now. This common American... This is a feeble attempted humor? It's sarcasm. It's not working too well, isn't it? Yeah, it's really bad. Sorry. Do you know what you've done? He don't want nothing from us. His back is turned to us. Oh, my God. Well, this is a secret. It's big. Talking about... Oh, jeez. God. I'm talking about... Your back... Your back is turned. You gotta go with it. You know, your back is turned. Actually, you're actually facing that way. You didn't know that? Have you heard of the band's assistant twister? It's a band. Oh, my God. Very famous rock band. Not a rubber band. Rock band. You know, I always wonder why that rock was so smooth out there. It was a little too smooth. Came out of your head with it. I know your tricks. Now, where did you go? The men's room or the girl's room? In your living room, do you have a tree stump for a coffee table? What kind of... I can't imagine you having normal furniture. The guy that makes $80,000 a year? Oh, he does make $80,000. Wait a minute. You said... Wait a minute. First, you said $80,000. Then you said $50,000. Then you said $40,000. You mean to the... No way. No way. No way does the government take out that much from your paycheck. From $80,000, it became $40,000? He just came out of the blue and told you that? Why do you think that? Who said that? They don't... They don't take... Yeah, that's Jimmy. They don't take 50% out of you. Jimmy's the one you like. Now she says she doesn't know how much. Before she said they take 50% out of you. Does Eileen's brother make $50,000 a year? He tells you about $80,000. He likes $80,000. Bye, Eileen. He's out of the blue. Does Eileen's brother make $50,000 a year? Oh, my God. Well, then why do you say this? Why do you make $80,000? I don't know how much he made, but he makes... Whatever a conductor makes, that's a good money. Conductor? What is he? Choo-choo Charlie? What symphony? Conductor? Oh, train. Like good and plenty. Choo-choo Charlie. Remember that stupid commission? Oh, yeah, yeah. She says one store... You kissed a Barney stone, man. Move for Eileen. Secluded rendezvous across the avenue? You don't know Eileen? Secluded rendezvous. She's in the mood for Ray. Simply because... Because they run fast. Oh, look at her go after his ass. She's in the mood for Ray. That's sure for Ray, man, right, usually? Well, in his case, it might be Stingray. Football, man. Oh, football. I said it hasn't even started. You know, I think the only professional team named after an insect is the Charlotte Hornets. Nobody named a team after a nat or a mosquito or a fly. I think there was a college team called the Nats. The Nats? Was Nat King Cole a partial owner? Yes. Okay. But no, he don't spell it that way. He's by N-A-T. No, but his name is spelled G-N-A-T. G-N-A-T, okay. The G is silent, by the way, in Nat. How do you spell your name? E-I-L-E-N? E-I-L-E-N. Four E's? Not the same thing. After what? After the L. Why do you do it that way? They just say. Well, that's wrong. I shouldn't do that. You're not supposed to do that. That's not the way it's... That should be illegal. You know what? I agree 100%. Names that were originally created back in the day in ancient times should not be... The spelling should never be altered. Tradition is very important. Your name should be Charlie. My name should be Charlie? No, the guy next to you should be Charlie. Now, let me ask you a question. Speaking of Nat, they pester people. They come out at night. They're nocturnal. They pester you, but they don't bite you. What do they eat? What do Gannats eat? I'm asking you. You have a higher... She has height. I don't have a college degree. You're the one with a college degree. I think she's global Joseph. You know, it's an insect, a tiny. They come out with the moths at night. You know, they hang around your outdoor lamp. We had football practice this about 30 years ago. We were down there practicing. You know, the gnats always come in that swarming ball. Yes. They were only around my friend, one of my white receivers, Kirk. They weren't bothering Jimmy and I and all the other guys. And Kirk was, why are the gnats all around me? Why are they all around me? Jimmy goes, I remember this. He goes, they're fag bats. That's funny. That's freaking funny now. You should be laughing up the storm from that. And she's not. You're saying that or what? No. Oh my God. Oh, we were just kidding with him. Oh, Jesus. No. You know what? I dedicate to this maniacal madness day to the gnats. Here's to the gnats. Here, here. I don't have... I think they should name a bug the Eileen. Swarm of Eileen. Yeah, but they'd be flying backwards. Oh, easily. I'm in a moose for gnats. And they'd be near you obviously because they want their Jimmy. No, they do bother me. How did you know? They're Eileen gnats. And mosquitoes. You know... They're Eileen gnats. You know, Eileen, the mosquitoes never bit my grandfather, even if he sat outside in the middle of the night on a lawn chair. They never bit him, but they attacked me and my grandmother. Like this. I have no idea. Now, you know that the female is silent. The female mosquito is the one that will bite you, suck your blood, but doesn't buzz. The male mosquito is the one that buzzes. Isn't that fascinating? Wait a minute. She buzzes. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, yeah. Well, then she proves the mosquito theory wrong. She's in the moose for rage. Are you old enough to operate that machine? Huh? Did you just get home? I wasn't down there. Isn't this brutal? Oh, my, my. Where'd he go? He was with Amtrak. They go in there in the tunnels and everywhere. And it's just fine. Hey, when are we going to get high speed electromagnetic model rails? I was, I was speed sarcastic. I know. It's all politics, right? It's too built up. Yeah. Where are you going to go? Right? Well, look, even mainland China has those bullet trains now. Yeah. You know, but they do reverse engineering. They take ideas from other countries and they, they dice it. And then when you tell them you have a patent on it, they give you the raspberry. Where are you going tonight? Out by the pool? Yeah. It's not that crowded today either. It would be nice for you, man. Yeah, it's probably like bath water. It doesn't matter. That's what happened in Carbosan. You don't care at much point. When I was in Carbosan, Lucas, it was bath water. The end of Baja, it was hot. It was hot water. Yeah. Good to see you, bud. You got it, my friend. Thank you. It's not very pleasant to, to take a, to jump in a pool during very hot weather when the pool itself is like a bathtub. I lead. Well, you know, if Eileen was nearby, I'd jump right next to her and I'd kiss. Well, that's what they do in public. Kiss. They do that in public. Kiss. Right in your area. Well, in Spanish. IP. In Spanish, the swimming pool is. IP. Right in your zone. In Spanish, the swimming pool. You know what? Take the water like this. In Spanish. I would. In Spanish, the swimming pool is called PCNA, but in a public pool, it's called PPCNA. Get it? PPCNA. Hey, should we go swimming? On purpose. I think you can feel it when somebody's. On purpose. Whizzing, bud. I can hear her now. She's hearing another person. The water just got very warm. She's in a mood. She's in a mood for rain. You got me in a singing mood. Please. You're nervous. You're snapping all over. What's the matter? Because all this humor just. What's your wire? What's wrong? I don't know. Oh, they raised the price of the medium coffee. Oh, so what? Who cares? I call them. Go complain. I told them. You're greedy capitalist. Not to him. It's not his fault. Tell them this is. Harming you're taking your woman out for an item of town. Right, Eileen? Come on. Let's go swimming. Yeah. Yeah. In Halloween? No. Marriott. Because we don't check it in. The guy. It might be just that, Eileen. Because I'm getting the urge to know. The guy that does, the guy that does the fitness seminars, Rick Brown from Southern California. He calls me and I told him. He says, where are you? I says, I'm in a liquor store buying beers. He says to me, you're becoming an alcoholic. I go, what? That's ridiculous. I says, just because I'm buying beers or wine. That doesn't. What do you want to ask me? But what do you want to ask about Rick Brown? Does Rick drink and not tell me? No, that's no question. No, I'm trying to find out. He's like a man, bitch. He's overly critical of those who drink. Things like that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Come on, man. Is he a man? Is Rick Brown being a man, bitch? Where's he from? He's from Southern California. His friend of Jim and Madonna is Rick Brown out of Southern California. Is he overly critical about anybody who drinks? Look how it jumped right into that. But Rick Brown, Rick Brown told me, Amulet, that he goes, that he loves the belching beaver brewery. Well, that doesn't matter what he loves. Yeah, but if you drink, you don't criticize others for drinking. You know, it's been a hypocrite. Is he just a critical person who picks on everything everybody else does? That Amulet is accurate. Get you in the pool. Empty my damn bladder. Come here, Ali. And I know all the tricks about how to go undetected having sex in a pool at night. No, there's a way to do it. Oh, he doesn't know. You can't even write. Well, you know, I don't write a book. Actually, I can blog on the Internet about it. Writing books is old-fashioned. Books are old-fashioned. People don't read books anymore. Then why are they publishing them? You got a point. Where do you get all this stuff that two of you... Because they're becoming old hats. Whether or not they're coming back bigger and more and more. Like, LPs are being printed more than ever again, too. Where do you get all this stuff? LPs. Big time. They're making turntables. Big time all over again. You know, Vern used to tell me that vinyl... LPs making a huge, huge comeback. You know what Vern said? That the quality of sound is actually superior on a vinyl album. You didn't know that? No, I couldn't understand why. Because it's all technology. So anything new is better? What you're saying? Well, engineers and scientists are supposed to make it. Am I right when I say in many ways the old ways are best? Does new technology always mean better? Okay. The amulet is saying no. New technology is not... I said, where did you get this stuff from? It's not necessary. Why do you figure... No, you don't figure. Engineers and scientists... They try too hard and they can't get done. You can't do something in many ways the old ways are best. Did you know that a CD and a DVD actually has a shelf life? That eventually... They said it would last forever. Even if a CD is clean, it still skips sometimes. Dust. So that was bullshit. But I love CDs. So when I saw my grandfather's record collection... CDs? How many, Eileen? How many is not too many, Eileen? Oh, God. There's nothing but thieves in your neighborhood. There we go. People took them. You know, I hate them. They used to unravel. Especially my favorite ones. They would unravel. The tape just... You go and pull it out. It's true. It was always my favorite one. Eileen, you think everybody rips you off? How could everybody rip you off? Especially when you're a hoarder. You got junk in that purse. According to Eileen, she's getting ripped off a lot. It's not true. Saying no. Make no. Yeah, it's wrong. It's wrong about Raymond, too. I don't think it is. Eileen claims that you are wrong about she and... Jimmy plays it and it's right. And the wrong guy rings it. The guy, Raymond. Eileen claims you're wrong about her and Raymond. Is that true? Is that true? When you're on mine, you do. Look at this. I drive a car. Your mind is working. I drive a car. I drive a car. I'm a college graduate. Wait a minute. You drive a car, but you ran into a telephone pole because you were looking for... That was a mistake. You're not supposed to look at the floor of your car while you're driving, Eileen. Are Jimmy... Are Jimmy and I trying hard our best to get through to Eileen? You know, one time in Lodi, I saw a flatbed tow truck towing another flatbed... flatbed tow truck. Of course, I took a video of it, but, you know... Yeah, it was funny. It was a flatbed towing a flatbed. It's like a fire truck putting out another fire truck that's on fire. I don't know. I don't know. It's just funny. Which just means nothing. Really, it's... It's whimsical. No, it's just nothing. That means funny, right? No, it's just nothing. It's not whimsical. It's whimsical. Oh, whimsical. It's like saying applicable instead of applicable. Eileen, you're in love. No, it's not what Jimmy was looking at. I'll give you one of this. He was looking at you. Yeah, sure. She's in a mood for rain. Oh, Raymond. Because Raymond is going to be mine. Yeah. Now, what I try to explain to Rick is if you drink in moderation, it takes the edge off of life. It helps with stress. It's none of his business. To make judgments and say I'm an alcoholic. What's his name, Rick Brown? Yeah. This friend of Jimmy Madan is out in California. He's Rick Brown. He does seminars. Is he somewhat of a whack job? He's kind of established. I wouldn't go that far. Are you establishing a whack job? No, not really. No. Please stop that. No, he does seminars. I'm not into hero worship, but he does a lot of seminars. Because he does seminars as Rick Brown. Does that make him smart? Jimmy Madan, it says it does. Is Jimmy right? I'm wrong. Okay. In other words, you never know who's wacky, regardless of how successful they are. You know, I've been a very good... Am I an incredibly great judge of people? Ba, ba, ba, room, as they say. Well, go ahead, Charles. Let me see you do something. Ba, ba, ba, room. Excuse me, ma'am, can I dance for you? Oh, that will get her excited. I think she had no underwear on. You can see the cheeks over here, man. There are no cheeks over here. You mean her in the cracks. You mean the gluteus maximus? No. The ass. Yeah. Well, that's actually the... I know. Oh. Remember, you're a man of science. Yes. We've got to go to Ben Dijkstein. It's my treat. Well, she can't take her eyes off you. We've got to go to... It's over here. Conellingus. What's the name of it? You said Ben Dijkstein or it's over here. Yeah, I know. It's over here. Gabriel. Gabriela's. Or... I'll even... I'll drive it to... Blackjack Mulligan's. Drive it back. You know, it's boring for me to sit and eat by myself. I'd rather, you know, sit with somebody. No. I'm gonna play the ukulele, man. She wouldn't talk. She'd be stuffing her face. Oh, yeah, but especially if somebody else is buying, right? You were a... How the French fries should be set. You were crying about the dollar seven, and then you took out this Warren Buffett a lot of money at that time. What are you crying about, a dollar seven? About telling me, come on, why don't you buy her a friggin' ice cream cone? Yeah. What have you bought her? Take a Warren Buffett, or he was like this thick. Yeah. Full of cash. How many ice creams have I bought you? How many things have I bought you? Deep, would you like an ice cream, sir? No, burgers, fries, ice cream. Listen. Other people you don't even know. Listen. What have you bought her? I've offered to buy you lunch at three places. When? In a recent pat, very recent pat. You have. Blackjack Mulligan's. Irish sports box. You said it will go there. You didn't say you'll buy lunch. Bennigan's, not Bennigan's. Bennigan's. Benny Hunt, I'll buy it. You said will go there. No, I said I'll treat, I'll pick you up in case you want to drink. Or Gab... Am I right? I bought you things all the time. Or Gabrielle, I'm not being cheap. They're at Myron Ice Cream. Yeah but she's not, man guys. Myron Ice Cream? I don't want... You know what's fun money on you? No, I don't want her to get the wrong idea. Oh you stop What a nice cream in the world Listen you really Hey, your purse is open. You better be careful. I'll be back when you get her fry. You better be careful. You better see she zips it I'll get her fry Get her me help you Bill. Oh, that's okay, Jerry You want the seven cents I Contribute the seven cents the current as route as Ed Norton used to say on the honeymoon is the current Oh Off the oil Yes No, not you not you not you but he does William William is a recently converted Democrat, but he was always a Republican and Republicans are usually extremely tight with the dollar They're very frugal In other words, they're skin plants cheap bastards And he but he keeps his money a secret until I've seen the big thick water money come out of his pocket We're talking about William H. Morrow the third The longer time goes by the more rackets develop everything's a racket Racket is a person who runs a racket is called a racketeer Somebody in other words could there you go bingo corruption a crook A carnival snake oil huckster or charlatan. How many times you're gonna say crook? Yeah What you want to marry a crook would you say? Yeah crooks I Put it I'll put it in layman's terms crook Yes Or you could say politics politician Taking a bribe, you know, I could say that if you want. Oh Man, they're just to get one small French writer sure taking a long time. Oh, he's can he's conversing That He gets so upset when I when I danced outside. I did the Irish jigs I Did the Irish jigs one time for him outside? He got so upset. Oh, yeah, I jaked. I I jigged up a Well, I'm not I'm not like the River dancers, you know You know, it's a good program you haven't had a Celtic women Celtic women They play the the violin they they sing They're all pretty, you know No, I don't know how to do the professional. I I know what you mean They all They're like choreographers. They all work together when they dance No, no, I just it's a crazy leprechaun dance. I have a black thorn chalet at home Good luck. I could bring it in Then they might think I'm gonna crack somebody over the head with it No, I'm sure they wouldn't but but it's very hard wood if you whack yourself with it, you'll get hurt Your father had a chalet yeah, yeah, but that's that's dangerous You can't yeah, you can't spank a child with that That's that's like Yeah, I'm on the handle. Well, some do some do. Yeah Oh, he had the walking stick one I have the shorter one Well, who what happened to it Somebody Somebody kept your father's chalet you should have got it you shouldn't You mean somebody somebody stole the chalet they kept it throw it away, you know how much they cost They cost like a couple hundred bucks or more They are a good one a good one get it in now She's not gonna talk anymore. What's she stuck in the face? She says her father's chalet. He was Stolen by someone. What's a chalet? Everything in her family stolen. It's a it's a made from black thorn walking stick You know leprechaun When you say they you mean you're okay. You mean you're it's like a cane, but so her father's cane was stolen An expensive type of cane Well, who's But who's day my lean's father was a story Yeah, the black thorn chalet No, it was just a cane. No, it wasn't no one. No, no, you can't compare it cheap I was given away. Was it given away? No, it wasn't Well, I don't know you brought I guess up while I was over there at the top of the two of you Why did that come up? Because she said her father. She's trying to raise her father used to spank her with a belt and and I said well Did your father have a chalet Lee? I it's a popular Irish king Your Irish, you know what the buddy, why do you look Jewish? That's good. Yeah from your eyebrows Because of all the junk she hides in her purse She's good quiet stuff in her face now You can't talk to me can you Give this habit of one fry at a time, don't you Just trying to stretch it out a time. It's like a time-release vitamin C cup See how she's one Friday time. I like what she has sex with me. I mean they really go slow Hey, you're so deep right Yeah, his brain is maybe deep right Oh my goodness gracious it's got to be something it's got to be It's got to be a Silver lining on the cloud, you know Oh too. Oh my god. Oh, she's branching out now Lot better when you take more than one either Well, she's um, she's obviously busy Four I told her I said grab more one at a time grab a whole handful We're really brown should branch in on highly big gal have fun Unless except she knows Katie except for drinking because then others call you know, although she just chugs Oh her she'll chug it. Oh, she'll chill down a martini like two seconds. That's a lot of sugar. Are you not a holocaust? Strawberry daiquiri That's nothing but a margarita. We're rummaging it to be honest with you What do you think about it? Said it's a killer they put around that might be true. I think it might be No, I could tell by his it is his torso his head His yeah, him a 10. Oh, that's it me turns out 10 million other training. He's great. He's salt and pepper here No, it's him. He just has all his face from last day He just turned his head just a shave either. She won't throw out more than to expire coupon So, you know, are you gonna come up for air? I think he's easy to espionage She's coming up for air No, she was not she's not even stopping. She's getting she breathing. Oh Eileen, you know the the old the all the Italian festivals in our area are starting I think as of August 14th, you know, I'll be right because Labor Day weekend is the big really the big Oh You're up, you know, same thing. He don't say anything because he doesn't want to give you anything Because he's a he's a cheap ass, maybe But all their money you believe that Is I mean Getting enough to eat at home. It's your damn brother are an extremely cheap ass. Oh, yeah without a doubt You know, is he a he won't help her with her food at all, Willie? hmm Is Eileen's brother afraid of his wife like my brother is Eileen's brother afraid of his own wife That's it. She's the boss She wears the pantalones in the family. Your brother's a wimp. I mean He's like I wouldn't talk, you know, my personal I'd say when somebody tried that with me Who's that guy's named Carl the one that was raised? Oh, God, yeah, Carl. It's a great guy. Well, he's a great guy, but he you know, Ray too and look what they ended up with Hey, I bet you know, I tried to look for Ray the Sanctus on Facebook. I or an online He's nowhere not everything is on the online Julie, but I bet I bet his wife is online But doesn't allow him to be here. I think online is just total bullshit. How do you like? Look at his play get a fine somebody You don't let people know you want privacy. Why don't you because you want people to leave you alone? Why do you have to brag and tell everybody here's my lunch? Here's what I had for dinner No, no, that's stupid. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I'm talking about somebody I don't find someone that they like that. Maybe she's maybe she's maybe people don't want to be bothered Maybe she's hot looking maybe people don't want to be bothered about getting stooked people don't want to be bothered Stop with the sex thing. Not everything is sex Jimmy. No, I don't know you got to stop it This you mean Madonna have an incredible problem with sex Well, it feels so door going good How would you know? He's trying to tell me I never had it Your hand doesn't count. No, come on silly stop it. I'm on silly goose It's overkill would you mean a sex crap, isn't it? Amulet is celibacy boring Amulet Jimmy said wants to know is celibacy Boring. Oh, maybe not for a nun or for a monk And some people have sexual problems Yeah, be being left alone probably and equates to a celibate like that gets boring Many times that my friends had cold up make fake excuses are you got with the guys? I didn't want to be with a girl. I got bored It gets higher as because you party my doctor said when I went to him as I couldn't maintain an erection You're worn out. You are tired. Yeah, he goes stop it. Well, you probably party like like go crazy Like you wouldn't believe from the time you went to college. I said I just don't want to be bothered 1960s I was never desperate to come I had the prettiest girl in high school Judy Well from high school to college to the nightclubs when I met Judy to the nightclubs Yeah, my girl Judy in the high school. She's the prettiest girl in high school. Was she a cheerleader? And she wanted me so bad She never showed interest to be the head cheerleader for the football The pushing me the whole way. Well, you want a football team in high school. Yeah, I Remember the day we met her family wonderful family and my parents over everybody. Oh, wow Beautiful. Oh, well, I first saw her choose my Spanish place. I didn't know her but everybody knew I just thought Unfortunately When people women get married, I don't know why they This happens, but a lot of a lot of times they get fat They get portly Are you a port you're porking up before marriage You ever see something they get down right fat No, it's cool getting too comfortable Yeah, no they get too comfortable with their Oh, no, they get popbellies more than that they lose their hair, too. Yeah You ever see the it's like when Archie Bunker used to sit in the chair with his belly hanging out eat it Get me a beer, you know, I mean Did Ray Pollinate you well, that's a nice way of putting it pollination Nothing forget it Joseph's coming over to talk to you Let's see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we barely barely said he barely like this Okay, you couldn't lift his hand say But you know they're that way to their own kind in China just cold they're cold She's Asian You've got Asian. No, she's friendly. No, she's got Asian Turning Japanese. I really think so. I mean, that's so oh there we look at him. He's getting a potbelly actually his shirt his polo shirt is Always leave quiet now. Oh, he's leaving You know the kids do the same thing At Burger King the Dollar Tree here. They loiter with their skateboards and bikes They've got to be sloppy they loiter and they're slob, but what the bad thing is with the Dollar Tree to have the automatic Door that slides open and all the air conditioning goes right out because they they park their bikes and skateboards right by the door Even adults keep the shopping cart there was like her apartment She's sliding to her policy. I Thought it was a revolving door. Well, that's it. Do you have a revolving front door? You know, it's called bakery Eileen's bakery. He's got his suit with him. Eileen's bakery. Take a number That's pretty funny Why is he got he's got a polo shirt and it's in a black suit with him in 90 degrees Well, this is this is a big speech coming up Tonight be big I have eight people I guess he felt at one time that he couldn't Get what he wanted out of me and you so he stopped talking to us I think he should have interviewed Eileen Looks like a camera He's on that side because I think it's this cool on the right side up a right side look I think it's this cool. Okay, so therefore he doesn't want to run into us because he knows we part on the other side And he's gonna leave and Eileen's gonna run out of the door to go meet him Aren't you know? He's a professor. He you you can have college caliber conversation Yeah, you won't understand anything he said, you know what the heck I See he don't want to run into any of us. That's why he's the finger. That's why he parks on that side Race track the track No, there's today let you use the one in Hasbro kites around the football field No, it's over here. I mean, it's not really safe weather be doing the exercise. It's not safe to be exercising You're not even listening are you I leave you're not listening. You're gonna collapse. It's over 90. It's not safe whether wait a day or two They've got warnings that all of a sudden now with the extreme heat of the year you want to go out and run Does that make any sense? Even walk is just not saying during the heat wave you're gonna do this Warnings all over TV Can we get through here and listen don't fill your pill case outside in the heat Should our friend Eileen be going out and walking around attracting some incredible heat right now that woman is crazy. No Counterclockwise and that woman's nuts to make you fill your pill case outside Should I lean wait until for a number of days until it cools down a good deal I think we're trying to get through to you, but it's just it's hard. I don't I don't understand I don't know what else it comes back to my dad. You can't get through to me and Try to tell them and teach them something so they won't let's and learn to throw out junk Please clean that damn thing out start with Jimmy grab him by the arm take him over to the trash thing Stuff him in there Okay You're right What do you mean it's not too cool in here? You think you are my air conditions blasting to Does your mouth? Well, thankfully I'm here to make you remember wait a minute. Where's your tray? I didn't get her tray Okay, never mind forget about This has been a mega live 21 production