 Tricia Payness just opened up about self-sabotage and going to therapy and all sorts of stuff. And there's so, so, so much we can take away from this video. So let's chat about it. What is up, everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about helping you improve your mental health. Isn't that cool? So make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell, baby. But anyways, so, oh my God. Like, I never thought, I never thought in a million years that I would say this, but I am so proud of Tricia Payness. Like, I am not, I'm just not a fan of her content, like, just in general, but, you know, I just made a video the other day about her and Jason Nash and like all sorts of stuff. And like, this, this to me, this video is the best video I've ever seen of hers. Like, I cannot believe it. I didn't know what I was getting into, but like, you know, I saw the topic of her video about self-sabotage and, you know, why she keeps ruining her own relationships. I'm like, okay, let's see. So anyways, basically, Tricia talks about how, you know, she just talked to her therapist and she uses better help online therapy, this amazing, affordable online therapy app that I am supported by as well. So make sure that you go down in the comment section. And if you can relate to some of the topics that we talk about in this video, like, give therapy a try. And I don't, I don't care if it's through better help or a therapist in your area or anything like that. Tricia did a way better job marketing better help than I did, but she talks about how like, just the convenience factor of it. Like, Philip DeFranco talks about it too. Like, my girlfriend uses it and you can, you can call them, you can text them, you can video chat with them and all, and they're so readily available and they have a questionnaire that you fill out. So they link you up with the right therapist. And they're all 100% licensed as well. So if you can relate to any of this stuff, like, make sure you check out the description below, go sign up for better help. It's very cheap. They have a sliding scale. And so that basically, if you don't make that much money, they don't charge you that much money. And it's really cool. Like, just give it a try. Like, I'm so proud of Tricia for doing this. Like, I, I don't know if I've seen this kind of authenticity from her. Whenever I've seen videos by her, I'm like, ah, she seems like she's kind of full of BS. You know what I mean? But like, there's this glow about her. And it's this glow that you get by working with a therapist. And she did a great job in this video talking about the benefit of working with a therapist because we all have people who we talk to, right? Friends or family or whoever it is. But like, with a therapist, you get this completely objective point of view. Like, they don't know you. They don't know your significant other. They don't know your family or anything. It's just you too, right? Because like, it's difficult to turn to, you know, friends or family members, especially if they're enablers and they always take your side even when you screw up. I've mentioned before, I keep people around in my life who tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. And a lot of people do not have that in their life when it comes to friends, when it comes to family. So a therapist, they aren't there to knock you down, but they're there to bring some things to your attention that maybe nobody's telling you about and you might not even realize it. So Tricia talks about how that's one of the best aspects of therapy. And she's talking to them and one of the things that she mentions is something that I called in the last video, no props to me, but when I made the video about Tricia and Jason just a couple of days ago, I'll link it up in the description, is like, Jason mentioned a few times, like, we should go to therapy, we should go to therapy, we should go to therapy. And I was saying, they both have individual problems that they need to work on and then they should do couples therapy and Tricia talked about that. We just, we need help. And together we're going to go, they also offer couples counseling too. So together we're gonna try and do this, but we each individually how to work with a therapist, I think first or counselor first, to kind of know what we want and who we are and what we're feeling before we can come together. Like they're both going to be working on themselves and then they're going to do couples therapy. Like that is so, so, so huge. And it's one of the reasons I'm so happy for them. Jason Nash actually just did a video with Katie Morton who is a therapist on YouTube, one of the biggest mental health channels. And I need to check that out. But anyways, so Tricia talks about self-sabotage, right? And she talks about how, you know, she doesn't want to get hurt. Like she's guarded, she's protected. And what she'll do is when she starts to get too close to somebody, she will start self-sabotaging as a way to force them out of the relationship. So that way she doesn't get hurt. And can you relate to this? Cause I know that I can. I've done this a million times in the past. I talked to my clients about this at the treatment center I was working at. This, you know, it was part of self-seeking behavior. We do things like maybe we're a jerk to the other person to force them out of the relationship. And we have to look inside and look deeper and see why do we do this? You know what I mean? And Tricia got some clarity in like, she's afraid of getting hurt. So she's trying to push people away and stuff. But, you know, part of this too was is her therapist helped her get to a point where she realized like in her life, like in her work life where she's a YouTuber and a, you know, model and, you know, she's about to go on tour, she's in control, right? And she tries to bring that personality of hers into the relationship. And what she realizes, even though I don't think her therapist said it, but I tell this to the clients I work with, is very selfish what she was doing to Jason, right? She wasn't thinking about his situation. What she is primarily thinking about is how it affects her. And these are two different people with two different scenarios. One of the reasons my girlfriend and I work out so well is because we're constantly looking at each other's situation and trying to, you know, make that thing work. You know what I mean? Like, for example, I have a son. She doesn't, you know, and things like that. Like, but we're constantly working around that kind of stuff and she respects what I have going on in my life. I respect what's going on in her life. So this is a huge thing. So as far as self-sabotage goes, they're like, she brought up a very good point about being afraid of being hurt. So she'll purposely start acting like certain ways to push the other person away. And there's another video I can totally make about this is other people self-sabotage more because, I don't know, they're afraid of being cheated on or afraid of these other things. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy which is really interesting as well. By the way, I don't know who Trisha's therapist is, but I love her. I love Trisha's therapist. Or did she say she had a guy therapist? I don't know. That's besides the point. Doesn't matter. But anyways, what her therapist talked to her about too is, is how you can't bring baggage from your last relationships and put them on the new person like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I cannot tell you like, this is gonna go into my broken picker playlist. For those of you who didn't know, I have an entire relationship playlist. So I'm gonna put this video in there. But like, so many people do this. I know that I did this a lot. I used to do this a lot. Like, one of my first or second relationships in my life, back in high school, I was cheated on. I was hurt in one of the most you can be hurt in a relationship is when the other person cheats on you, right? And that was in high school. And I carried that kind of hurt into the next relationship, next relationship, next relationship. And then you carry that with you. And then in the next relationship, more bad stuff happens. So now you're carrying even more baggage. You bring that into the next relationship. Now you're carrying even more. You bring that into the next one. So her therapist helped her talk about like, do not punish him for things that your exes did. Like, absolutely. This is another way that people will sabotage themselves is by keeping guarded, keeping suspicious and stuff like that because of previous relationships. That's why when I talk about relationships with you guys, I keep telling you to like be more mindful of who you're dating. You know what I mean? Especially if you're looking for someone to fill the void in you, you lower your standards way too much. You know what I mean? So you are more likely to date the person who might cheat on you or talk to other men or women behind your back and stuff. So like Trisha, it was brought to Trisha's attention that she had a lot of very irrational fears. And this is a big deal. Like it's important for a therapist to tell you which of your fears are rational, which are irrational. You know what I mean? Especially for anybody who struggles with anxiety, therapy can help you out a lot because like anxiety is awesome because it keeps you safe, you know? People with anxiety have a much longer life than people who don't have anxiety. I've talked about this in other videos. But there's a point where it becomes irrational fears. Like for example, like agoraphobia where people are afraid to go outside and things like that. Social anxiety, a lot of that is based around irrational fears. So it's good to have an objective person because here's another example. Like a lot of us, I made a video about this when I was talking about James Charles, like we get defensive, you know? Like imagine your mom or your dad or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your friend telling you that your fears are irrational, right? Think about the defense that you get in. Like what? You're saying my fears are irrational? But Trisha mentioned how her therapist helped validate her feelings and that really helped her out. You know what I'm saying? Because therapists, like I'm actually in school right now to become a counselor. And like there's certain ways that, you know, we're trained to talk to people. You know what I mean? And not everybody is trained that way. But anyways, the last thing I wanna talk about is this smile Trisha has, this clarity that she has, you know, the things that she's gonna work on, that is all amazing. But I really, really hope she sticks with it for at least six months. What I see a lot of people do is they like talk to a therapist once or maybe if it's in recovery, they go to a meeting once or whatever it is and they think, oh, okay, cool, I'm done. All my problems are solved. I know enough, I know everything. Like no, it's an ongoing process. Life is changing every single day, every single hour, every single minute, life is changing. So it's important to work with a therapist for the long term and really like see how you're improving and what things that you still have. Because at least by the end of six months, and some people do it much longer than six months, at least by the end of six months, you've kind of narrowed the scope of what you need to work on. And you start to see improvements and things like that. So I'm really happy for Trisha. I'm excited to see how her and Jason's relationship changes because you can really tell when someone's actually working on themselves. You know what I mean? But anyways, let's do this down in the comments below. Are you somebody who has self-sabotaged in the past in relationships or are you somebody who brings in baggage from previous relationships into new ones? All right, let's have a discussion down below in the comments, okay? Also, and don't forget, if you can relate to anything that I was talking about in this video, go ahead and give BetterHelp online therapy a try. The link is down in the description below. I also always put it in my pinned comment. It's cheap, it's affordable, and they will match you up with a therapist who is right for you. But that's how I got for you today. So if you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you're new here, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. And if you would like to check out some sweet, rewired soul merchandise, go ahead and click or tap right there, all right? Thanks so much for watching. Quit self-sabotaging, and I'll see you next time.