 At the end of every relationship, the narcissist does this, they devalue you, they bring up all of your flaws and infections, your false mistakes, whether real or imagined, and up until that point of the discard, they've already been talking to people about you, they've been smearing your name and they've just set up in the situation in a way where everyone's going to look down on you, they're going to see it as though you did something to them or you abandoned them because everyone you know and everyone they know has already been preconditioned by the narcissist to view you in a certain way. So anything you say about how you were victimized by the narcissist, they're not going to take you seriously and many of the people that the narcissist involves themselves with are also highly narcissistic as well so even if they do believe you they're really not going to care, it's not going to interest them in any way. At the end of every relationship the narcissist has, they just throw you under the bus, they treat you with contempt, they disrespect you. The person you see at the end of the relationship that's who they really are but you just wish that the person you saw before was real, it's like if only that person was real it would change everything but it was a facade that wasn't really them you just wish that it was and that's what fills you with so much grief at the end of the relationship but they almost always discard people in the same way they bring in the flying monkeys, the smear campaign, they assassinate your character, they try and sabotage your life and then they just seek out another source, they go looking for someone else, someone else to groom, someone else to exploit, they just do the same thing all over again, they do the same thing at the end of every relationship but the narcissist may not be able to change, they may be stuck and unable to get out of that loop, that cycle but you can, you can heal from this, you don't have to keep running into narcissist or if you do at least you will know how to deal with them and you can just surround yourself with people who are good for you, something that narcissists cannot do, if they do find a good person it's only through the use of manipulation and it's only a matter of time until people figure them out and they know that the dealing with someone who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy, two things that make it impossible for anyone to have a happy successful relationship with them, so keep that in mind, all they can do is keep replaying the same event again and again just with a different person but you, you can get out of this, leave them behind in the past and just forget about them but it is very important for you to focus on your healing, after the narcissist is gone don't just blindly move through this life, time will part you by, the years will just disappear and nothing may change, you may look at yourself one day and think it's been five, 10 years since I was with the narcissist and I've made no progress at all, you may feel that you still feel emotionally attached to them, you still believe in the lies and the illusion and that's why it's so important to work through this, many people they take these traumas with them to the grave because rather than doing the work they just want a quick fix, they don't really want to heal those wounds because it takes such a long time and they don't really see any benefits in the beginning but then all of these acts of escapism like alcohol, drugs, whatever it may be that you do to escape, it's only prolonged in your healing, it's not helping you, what will help you is to go within, go to those places in your mind that you really don't want to go to, you know when you have those thoughts about something you experience with the narcissist but then it's so painful it makes you feel emotional so you just push it away, you don't want anything to do with it but you should want everything to do with that because that's your trauma and the reason why it keeps popping up in your mind is because your brain is trying to tell you give attention to this, look at it, feel it, let it become a part of you so that you can then let it go, just let that sink in for a moment and that's really one of the main things that will help you heal from this is when you just go to that place in your mind, you remember those events no matter how painful they may have been and of course I totally understand and respect that this may be painful for some of you, it was very painful for me and you may not want to deal with it, you may prefer to just forget about it, you know a lot of us maybe we just want to have a drink or smoke weed, play video games or do whatever it is that helps us to just push it away and just act like it never happened or never bothered us so we've already overcome it and deep down you know the reason why it keeps popping up again and again is because your brain is begging you to just give it attention, resolve it, let it become a part of you only so you can then let it go but of course I understand it's very painful to do that and you might not want to which is why I do recommend that you work through these past traumatic events with a therapist or a coach just someone you can talk to, someone who gets it whether it's me or someone else just talk to someone, someone who understands because that will really help you more than anything, that's what's going to help you heal from this and that's why it's so important for you to take the time and give attention to it, don't just try and distract yourself from it, don't prolong your healing because it will only hurt you in the end when one day you get older and you look back and you think if only I had dealt with this before because what we thought is just by trying to distract ourselves and find another ways to cope although it may seem like it's helping in the beginning that actually becomes the cause of the problem and that's why it's so important to just just home in on that, focus on healing your traumas so that you can become stronger and healthier and just become the best version of you which I know that you are all capable of the saddest thing is when people have so much potential but they're just around the wrong people or they're not around the right people who can help them to see that potential and it's like so many people in those kind of situations their life just passes them by, they die with all of the potential that they never used which could have inspired and helped so many people because the truth is not everyone out there appreciates that, some people do get envious and jealous, some people don't even recognize the value of it but I do these videos, I do them because I recognize the value that they have to people and I recognize the value of my viewers even though narcissists may not recognize our value they can't see any value in us because they don't see the value in themselves how they treat us is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves always remember that because a happy person feels no need to put anyone down or hurt them or just discard them in the way that they do but when someone's having a bad day or a bad year there's no telling what they might do, have you ever had a bad day and it was so bad and maybe someone just comes and talks to you and maybe they just ask you if you're okay and you just snap, you just lash out at them even though they didn't do anything wrong to you, it was just your emotions and something that you had experienced and you just have to let it out and sometimes it comes out on people who didn't deserve it but at the time you just couldn't help it, now imagine with a narcissist it's like that but it's like a hundred times worse they're just like these loose cannons walking around ready to explode at any given moment and that's why they do all these horrible things because there's so much stress and tension they're so insecure they feel completely worthless when someone feels good they have no intention of hurting anyone regardless of what that person has done to them when you get to a place you raise your vibration and you feel so good every day you don't even care about everything that the narcissist did to you you don't even want revenge you don't hold grudges there's no resentment you just let it all go because you're happy you're enjoying your life and when your vibe is so high you can forgive and it's like you don't even wish bad on them anymore you might even wish the best for them unfortunately that's a level that no narcissist is ever going to achieve they're always going to be in the lower vibrations i think it was buddha who said attachment is the root of all suffering really what this comes down to it's the attachment whenever you attach to anything any past experience it's going to cause you suffering in the present moment and that's why they're constantly suffering because they can't let these things go they either can't deal with the shame or they just can't hold themselves accountable for their actions because they think that's protecting them and the reality is that's the one thing that is destroying them that's the one thing that is preventing them from healing and being happy these are my thoughts on this topic i went on a bit there but i hope that was helpful for you of course this is a discussion video so i would like to hear from you as well please share your thoughts on this topic the narcissist does this at the end of every relationship what did the narcissist do at the end of your relationship i would like to know so please let me know down below god's favor says so hard to break the attachment but it can be done with the determination definitely i mean you know what's helped me is just to to identify that attachment is the root of all suffering and not only that but we suffer when we assume that someone or something is a part of us we identify with them when we need to look at it as though even if this person has moved on it doesn't matter you're still you you're still whole and complete you do not need another person to complete you you do not need another person to make you happy and when you understand that it's so much easier to break that attachment sherrydon forward said says said the worst things i have been told in my life and try to take my money that's often what they will do they want a souvenir when they leave they want a part of you to take with them darlene says they try to destroy what my passion is life happy man says silent treatment that's right they will often go silent if they know they can't get anything out of you and especially if things are going well for them they might just avoid you they might just avoid you because they're embarrassed about the state of their lives especially if they know that you're doing better without them anyway i don't want to stay too long on here i'd like to thank you all for joining this live discussion video i'm very grateful to have you here so that's all for this video i look forward to talking with you in another one very soon