 Tonight, we'll be exploring the attribute of anivut, or anivus, which means humility. And humility in the corpus of Jewish literature is one of the most, if not the most noble of the medot, of the attributes that we can aspire to. The truth is that usually people who are humble are very happy people because they go through life with really very few expectations. They don't feel that anything is really coming to them. They don't really see themselves as entitled, and they really view everything in life as a gift. And when you go through life seeing everything as a gift, it really is something that really causes us to be incredibly happy with whatever happens in life. People that are humble go through life without having any heirs. They get along easily with everyone. On the other hand, the opposite of humility is what's called ga'avah, arrogance. People that are arrogant are people who crave honor. They crave praise. They're usually very self-absorbed and very selfish, and they're very annoying and exasperating to get along with. I personally find that I have a very low tolerance for people that are arrogant. I have a very easy time getting along with almost everyone, but I find it very difficult to be with people that are arrogant. Virtually, arrogance is on the very lowest end of the spectrum. The Bible says in the book of Proverbs, chapter 16, verse 5, that an arrogant person is an abomination to God, that from God's point of view, an arrogant person is an abomination. And the truth is that when we go through our Bible, we go through the Torah, we don't usually see the Torah commanding us to have certain personality traits. We don't see the Torah commanding us to avoid certain personality traits. The whole area, the whole arena of what we call medot personality traits are not really either required or proscribed in the Bible. Rebchaim Vitaal, one of the great Jewish mystics, says that the reason that the Bible doesn't command us to cultivate certain character traits or to avoid negative character traits is because these character traits are themselves a prerequisite for the Torah. I mean that it's meaningless to even have a relationship with the Torah where we have instructions in the book that was given by God without having these prerequisite character traits. These character traits are really the foundation of even being able to open up the Bible and study it, to have any kind of connection to the Bible. So rather than being commandments or prescriptions of the Bible, character traits are really a prerequisite. You can't even come to practice or study the Bible without developing these character traits. However, there may be one exception. Torah says in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 18, verse 20, that a king is required to write a Torah scroll. The king of Israel was required to write for himself a Torah scroll and to carry it around with him at all times. Why was that? So the Torah says, that his heart should not be raised up above his brethren, meaning that he's supposed to walk around with a Torah scroll so that he will not become arrogant. That was the purpose of the king having a Torah scroll. Now Nachmanides, one of our great sages, says that from this law, requiring that the king have with him a Torah scroll at all times, Nachmanides says, from this we learn the general prohibition for all people not to be arrogant. He says from the following reasoning, he says the king is someone who is supposed to be honored. We're already supposed to have a certain amount of honor and respect for the king. So if the king himself is supposed to go out of his way to carry around a Torah scroll at all times so that he will not be arrogant, so all the more so for the rest of us. If the king needs to do it, so certainly all the more so for the rest of us. Why is that? Because only God deserves to be elevated and truly honored. Someone else who seeks and demands honor and respect is really usurping what belongs ultimately to God and is really rebelling against God. The arrogant person ultimately rebells against God. In the Midrash, our sages have God saying as if God says there isn't room enough in the world for me and an arrogant person. That's what God says. The world isn't big enough. God says for me and an arrogant person. It says in the book of Deuteronomy, Vareem chapter 5 verse 5, Moses says when he was recounting to the Jewish people what happened when they left Egypt and they came to Mount Sinai. So Moses says to the Jewish people, I stood between God and you at that time. Moses telling about what happened at Mount Sinai says to the Jewish people, I stood between God and you at that time. And our sages interpret this verse to be saying, yes, it is I. It's the ego that stands between God and us. The one thing or one of the things that most often interferes with the relationship between us and God is the I. It's the ego. It's interesting. I mentioned previously that there's a wonderful book that was written about one verse in the book of Genesis where Jacob has his dream. He falls asleep and he sees this ladder going up from the earth to the heavens and angels are going up and down. And when he wakes up, he says, surely God was in this place and I did not know. I mean, normally the way the verse is translated is surely God was in this place and I didn't know. But the Hebrew is a bit redundant. It says in the Hebrew, Va'ani loyadati, loyadati by itself means I didn't know. Va'ani loyadati and I, I did not know. So because of that peculiarity in the structure of the Hebrew, someone wrote an entire book just analyzing this one verse. And one of the explanations offered is again that Jacob wakes up and says, behold, God was in this place. How is it that we're able to see God anywhere? It's because my eye, I didn't know, meaning I didn't become two at one with my ego too close to my ego. The Talmud says something very disturbing. The Talmud says, intract hei kiddushin 82a that tov shibirothim legahenim, that the best doctors will go to hell. Now it sounds like you want to pick your ears up and say, wow, that's a pretty strange thing to say. What do they mean by saying this? So on the simplest level, what they're saying is not all doctors. They say the best doctors, tov shibirothim, why? Because the best doctors are able to cure the most people. And when they're able to walk around feeling, look what I've done. I've cured this one. I've cured that one. They can begin to feel that look what I have done. They begin to see themselves as the healer and not to recognize God as the healer. It's interesting that the phrase in Hebrew is tov shibirothim, the best of the doctors. The word tov, the best in Hebrew, tov has a numerical value of 17. When we pray each day three times a day, the prayer is called the shmona esrei, the 18 benedictions. Where we ask for 18, actually today we do 19, but originally it was 18 benedictions. And we asked for wisdom, and we asked for health, and we asked for redemption. We asked for our sustenance. So here it's saying the doctors that are 17-ish, they're 17-ish because they don't pray for healing. They assume that they themselves do it. So people that have this kind of worldview, a view about themselves as if I don't need God. Their ego is so huge it pushes God out of the world. These people are essentially like idolaters and God has no place for them. The truth is that arrogant people are usually at the core very insecure people. We tend to think that arrogant people have a tremendous amount of self-confidence, but the actual truth is the reverse. They're actually very insecure people, and what they do is they build and construct an air of superiority. They put on an air of superiority as a defense mechanism because they are so insecure. And because they are so insecure, they have a very difficult time accepting criticism. These are people that find it impossible to accept criticism or rebuke because it attacks their self-worth because their self-worth is so shaky. These are people that have an almost impossible time ever apologizing for something that may have done that was wrong because they see that act of apologizing as an admission that I'm not perfect. And because their sense of self is so shaky, their sense of self-worth is so shaky, they cannot accept criticism, they cannot apologize, and the truth is they have a very difficult time learning anything because they have a difficult time admitting that they don't know. So these are people, unfortunately, that go through life with a tremendous handicap, their arrogance, which is really predicated upon a tremendous feeling of insecurity, causes them all of these tremendous handicaps in life. The Maralph from Prague, one of our great Jewish mystics, taught that humility is a precondition for being able to study Torah. He says it's impossible for a person to really have any connection to Torah unless they're humble. We see this. We see in the Bible that Moses is the ideal conduit for the Torah. He was the one that received the Torah for us at Man's Sinai. Why Moses? Because he is described in the Torah as the most humble person who ever lived. And it says in Ethics of the Fathers, Pirkei Avot, it begins Moshe Kibel Torah Mesinai. Moses received the Torah from Sinai. They really should have said that Moses received the Torah at Sinai. What do you mean he received the Torah from Sinai? So our sages say that Moses received the Torah because he learned from Mount Sinai. What did he learn from Mount Sinai? We're told that Mount Sinai was the smallest of the mountains. It was the shortest of the mountains. So Moses learned the importance of humility from Mount Sinai. And because he was so humble, he was the most appropriate conduit for receiving the Torah. We see the truth is that throughout Jewish history, leadership in Torah, leadership in Judaism always went to those that are humble. For example, the two great schools in the Talmud were Beit Hillel and Beit Shamai, the school of Hillel and the school of Shamai, tremendously great schools of scholars. And they debated. They had tremendous debates. But the Talmud says that we ultimately decide Jewish law according to the school of Hillel. We decide Jewish law according to the school of Hillel because the Talmud says the school of Hillel was more humble. They were more humble. The truth is that in the 16th century, we're told that there were actually three great Torah scholars who were worthy of compiling a new code of Jewish law. We know that there were earlier codes of Jewish law. But in the 16th century, there came the time to compile a new code of Jewish law, which became known as the Shulchanaruch, the set table. And there were three great Torah sages who were worthy of being the person that would compile this code of Jewish law. And the Kabbalists tell us that the person who ultimately was designated to compile this code of Jewish law was Rabbi Yosef Karo. Why? Because he was the most humble of the three. So the truth is that leadership in Torah is not predicated primarily upon scholarship and intellect and being the smartest and the brightest, that ultimately leadership depends upon one's character trait of humility. Now when we try to understand what is humility, the famous Kabbalistic work, Tomer Devorah, the Palm Tree of Devorah, says that humility really encompasses all of the other character traits. It's the key to all of the other character traits. A person that is able to acquire humility really has the key to acquiring everything else. Maimonides says that humility is the latter by which we are able to ultimately reach to God. Humility is seen as the quintessential character trait to focus on. Dr. Saul Roth wrote a famous essay about humility where he speaks about two kinds of humility. He says there is both religious humility and moral humility. He says that religious humility stems from an understanding that our talents, our achievements, our possessions, whatever we have are gifts from God. They don't come via our own power. If a person was born with a tremendous intellect, they didn't do anything to acquire that. They were given that as a gift. And ultimately, we're supposed to see everything that we receive in life as a gift. It's not mine. It's given as a gift from God. And because we see that it's a gift, it's impossible for a person to be arrogant. And that leads to the moral quality of humility, meaning that if we understand that our talents, our achievements, our possessions, and whatever they are, are a gift, then it's impossible to feel superior to other people. We can't laud it over other people if ultimately it's something that we were given as a gift. Rabbi Yochana Ben-Zakai in Ethics of the Father says, If you have learned a lot of Torah, if you're a person that has learned a tremendous amount of Torah, don't think you're such a big deal. Don't make a big deal about it. He says, because this is what you were created for. You were created for this. Rabbeno Yonah in his commentary to Ethics of the Father says that if you borrowed money, you owed money to someone and you paid the money back, would you feel proud of yourself because you paid the money back? No. He says, you're just fulfilling your obligation. So in the same way, we're obligated to study Torah. And if a person studies a tremendous amount of Torah, there's no reason why they should feel proud about that. And one of the most important things to understand about humility is that it's not the opposite of self-esteem. Many people assume erroneously that a person that is humble is someone that lacks self-esteem. And the two are not mutually exclusive. The truth is that self-esteem is actually a prerequisite for achieving humility. If a person does not have a sufficient and adequate and appropriate amount of self-esteem, it's impossible for them to really ever become humble. Why is that? Because self-esteem is a sense of worth and potential deriving from the fact that we are created in the image of God. Each one of us has a wholly elevated soul in us. We were created in God's image, and we know that God does not make junk. We know God does not make junk. And because of that, I can feel a certain amount of nobility. I can feel a certain amount of nobility. But to know this truth about ourselves in and of itself is not vanity. To know that we are children of God. To know that we are created in the image of God is not in and of itself vanity. It can, however, lead to vanity. It can lead to vanity. And that's why the Midrush says, why was man created on the sixth day? Why were we created on the sixth day? So the Midrush says, so in case we get haughty or arrogant, God can turn to us and say, you should know even the not was created before you. Don't get so high and mighty. But it's important to understand that humility is a prerequisite for, sorry, that self-esteem is a prerequisite for being humble, having humility. Humility does not mean that we're supposed to deny our abilities and our capabilities. Humility does not mean that we have to deny our qualities. Rabbi Leib Chassman once said that to deny our talents is not humility, it's foolishness. It's not humility. It's being foolish because you have something. So to deny it is not humble. It's not humility. There's a wonderful story that's told about Rabbi Yecheskel Abramsky, who was the head of the Bate din, the rabbinical court in London. I think in the beginning of the 20th century. And there was a famous court case in London where he was called as a witness in this case. And the attorney that was going to be calling Rabbi Abramsky told the judge about this great rabbi. And the judge said to the rabbi, is it true rabbi that you are the greatest expert in all of Europe on Jewish law? That's what he just heard from the attorney. So he says, is it true that you're the greatest expert in all of Europe on Jewish law? And Rabbi Abramsky said, yes, it's true. And the judge was taken aback and he said, rabbi, I thought your religion teaches the importance of being humble. And Rabbi Abramsky said, yes, your honor, but I'm under oath. There wasn't any virtue in denying his capabilities. The truth is that Moses was totally aware of his capabilities. Moses was someone who stood up to Pharaoh. He led the Jews out of Egypt. He argued, according to the Midrash, Moses argued with the angels at Mount Sinai. At Mount Sinai the angels did not want God giving the Torah to the Jewish people. The angels were saying, keep it up in heaven where it belongs. And Moses engaged in a long disputation with the angels and ultimately won. But he had the strength of character to argue with the angels. He stayed on Mount Sinai for 40 days without eating or drinking or sleeping. He was able to bring the Torah down from Mount Sinai to the Jewish people from God. Moses argued with God many times in the desert. Moses smashed the tablets. Moses comes down from Mount Sinai just having received the Torah from God and he sees the golden calf and he smashes the tablets. Moses was someone who was not a shrinking violet. He was someone that did tremendous things. He was quite aware of his capabilities. Yet he was the humblest person because he was aware of his extreme closeness to God. He had the clearest understanding of the greatness of God. And once a person has a clear understanding of the greatness of God, how can a person stand in the presence of such a God and not be humble? How could a person who truly understands their relationship to God and not be humbled by that? So being humbled does not require that we not be aware of our capabilities and our accomplishments. The truth is that our greatest sages in Jewish history, if they did not recognize their own competence, if our greatest sages did not recognize their competence, they would not have authored authoritative works on Jewish law. How could someone write a code of Jewish law to say this is going to be the law for all of Jewry if they didn't recognize that they have the ability to write such a code of law? However, as we saw, people with low self-esteem will begin to feel and act arrogantly. They'll be driven to pursue honor and self-acclaim, because these are people that are easily offended and they are given to the sight, they are slighted. These are people that are slighted if they're not given the proper respect and honor. If they're not seated at the head of the table, insecure people with low self-esteem will be slighted and insulted if they're not given these honors. A vain person, the arrogant person, doesn't really think that he or she is great. They don't think they're great. They feel inferior and therefore they seek vindication and reassurance from others. Only a person that has a real self-esteem feels worthy as a child of God and is aware of their God-given talents and strengths. And such a person can be humble and self-effacing because they don't need the defense of vanity. They don't need the acclamation of other people. A truly humble person can accept criticism. They don't see it as an attack on their person and they appreciate the opportunity to improve. Now usually, the Torah directs us to pursue the Shvil HaZahav, the golden mean, the middle path. But when it comes to arrogance, the Torah teaches that we should be very, very humble. It says in Ethics of the Fathers, Me'od, me'od, have a shevel ruach. You should be very, very humble. Why? So it says in Ethics of the Fathers, because the end of man is worms. The end of man is worms. We recognize that at the end of the day, we're all going to end up in the same place. It's difficult for anyone to be arrogant. There's a famous story in the Talmud where there was a great rabbi who was very poor and he offered someone that was poor as well some money right before Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. And when his wife found out that he gave away some of the money that they really didn't have, she showed some disappointment and displeasure. And he was provoked to get a little bit angry with her for giving him lip. And he felt terrible because here he is on the eve of Rosh Hashanah right before the Jewish New Year, the day when we're supposed to begin to take stock and think about how we lived in the previous year and to come to God for judgment. He said, how can I approach God with this little tinge of arrogance in myself? If I wasn't arrogant, I wouldn't have gotten angry with my wife so quickly. What is he going to do? It's a little bit late now to begin a program of overcoming arrogance. Normally to correct a character trait takes months and months, maybe years of work. One of our great sages says that it's easier to study the entire Talmud than to correct one character trait. So here he is on the eve of Rosh Hashanah recognizing I have a little bit of arrogance to deal with. So the Talmud says that he went and he slept in the cemetery that night. He needed a crash course in humility. And nothing will make someone more humble than recognizing that one day we're all going to be in that cemetery ourselves. So the Talmud says that when it comes to arrogance, we've got to stay away from it not to the middle of the road, all the way to the extreme. Me'od me'od have a Shvilruach. You have to be extremely humble. The Talmud actually says that a Torah scholar is allowed to have an eighth of an eighth of arrogance. Talmud says that a Torah scholar is allowed to have an eighth of an eighth of arrogance. How much is that? So the commentaries point out that if you find the eighth Torah portion in the Bible, starting from the beginning of Genesis, the eighth Torah portion is Vayishlach. And if you find the eighth verse, this is what they mean by an eighth of an eighth. The eighth verse in the eighth Torah portion, Jacob says, kathonti mikol ha'chasodim, mikol ha'emes asharasita esavadecha. Jacob said, I am unworthy of the least of the mercies and the least of the truth that you have shown to your servant. That's how much arrogance we're allowed to feel that I'm totally unworthy of anything that God has given us. When it comes to humility, our sages teach that humility is a balance. It requires a certain amount of balance. Mamanides wrote in Shmonaprakim, his introduction to ethics of the fathers, the eight chapters. He says that humility is the midpoint between pride and total self-abnegation. If you want to know where humility falls out, it comes in the middle between pride and total self-effacenant. This is similar, by the way, to what Hillel taught in Ethics of the Fathers. If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? There's a middle point that you have to be able to hit. Rishimchubunim of Pshisqah, one of the great Hasidic masters, used to say that each person should have two pockets. Each one of us should go through life. We usually do have two pockets. He said you should go through life with two pockets. In one pocket, you should have a little piece of paper that says Bishvili Nivrah Ha'olam. For me, the entire world was created. It's an amazing thing that the whole world was created for me, because the truth is that God created the world and initially one person was created. So it's possible that I could have been the one person that was created at the beginning of time, and therefore I could see the whole world as having been created for me. And we know that Talmud says, if you save one life, is if you saved an entire world. Every human life is worth everything. So the Rabbi Yishimchubunim of Pshisqah says, in one pocket you should have this little note, which reminds us that the whole world was created for me. On the other hand, in the other pocket, we should have what Abraham said in Genesis 18 27, Anohi Afarva Aether, I am nothing but dust and ashes. And we have to be able to walk the middle point between these two extremes. However, we should know that the Peleyoites and other commentaries, other sages, write that we should be humble, but we shouldn't overdo it, because excess humility can be presumptuous. There's a famous story that's always told about the Yeshiva student who comes to the Yeshiva at the beginning of the term, and he sees that the people there are trying to practice humility, and he sees that everyone is saying that they're really very low and I'm nothing, and I'm a worm, and I'm a nothing. And this new student comes and he starts to say, oh, he's beating his chest. I'm a nobody, I'm a grunisht, I'm a nothing, I'm a nobody. And everyone looks at him and says, look who thinks he's a nobody. Doesn't come so quickly. But the truth is it could very easily be presumptuous to think that you're a nobody when you are not a nobody. The sages were very critical of false humility. It's one of the most disgusting things in the world for someone to put on an air of false humility. They tell a story of a very wealthy, vain person who would always sit in order to appear humble. He would always sit in the very back of the synagogue. That was his way of showing how humble he was. So the rabbi came up to him one day and said, you know what? He said, it would be better for you to sit in the front of the synagogue, but to wish that you were in the back, rather than sit all the way in the back, but to wish deep down inside you were sitting up front. That's the problem with the fellow that tries to put on an air of humility. There is no commandment in the Torah, as I mentioned before, to be humble. We're never commanded to be humble, although it's very clear that we should try to cultivate humility. One of the reasons why our sages say that we're never given a commandment directly to be humble, Rev. Mikhailov Zlatchev said that if we were commanded to be humble and then we try to actually fulfill that commandment, a person would begin to feel, hey, I'm fulfilling the commandment of being humble. And he said, the thought of being humble, that would take over this person, it would be the worst vanity in the world for a person to think, oh, now I fulfill the commandment of being humble. The level to reach, this is the goal to reach, is where it could be said that a person is so humble, they don't even know that they're humble. They say that Rabbi Akiva Eger, one of the real great sages in our history, once went to Warsaw. And there were huge crowds that came out to see him. And he was shocked by the huge crowds. And he remarked to someone, what, they never saw a short person before? He couldn't imagine they were coming to see the great, great, great sage of that generation. He assumed he's a very short little man, that's why they came out to see him. There was also a great, great righteous person named Yitzhak of Chorif. He was a genius, a brilliant, brilliant genius. And he once asked the Chosev Lublin, the seer of Lublin, because Yitzhak of Chorif was the smartest person in his generation. And he said to the Chosev Lublin, why is it that so many people flock to your lectures and not to my lectures? I can't understand. He didn't say, he didn't say I'm much smarter than you. But he said, I don't understand. How is it possible that everyone's going to your lectures and you're not going to my lectures? So the Chosev said to him, you know what, you don't understand why people are not flocking to you. And that's why they're not flocking to you. I don't understand why people are flocking to me. And that's exactly why they're flocking to me. The truth is, when we understand the Meda, the character trait of humility, there are certain times when humility must be set aside and we have to strongly assert ourselves. And this comes to pass, this comes to be when the agenda of God is at stake. When it comes to God's agenda, there are times when we have to set aside humility and assert ourselves. We see this in a famous Talmudic passage in Yuma, Tractate Yuma, page 22b, which asked the question, why was the kingdom of Saul? Saul was the first Jewish king. Why is it that his kingdom did not last? He wasn't the king for a very long time and certainly we're told that none of his heirs would follow him as king. And yet the kingdom of David lasted. David was king for many years and all future kings would come from David. So the Talmud wants to know why is that? What is the difference between Saul and David? And the Talmud proposes two reasons. Two reasons are given. Number one reason, the Talmud says because Saul failed to destroy all of the spoils of Amalek. Saul was commanded to destroy all of the animals of the tribe of Amalek that they went to war with. And he did not kill all of these animals. And when he was rebuked by the prophet Samuel, he said, the reason I didn't destroy all of these spoils was that he yielded to the people who wanted to retain this livestock to use for sacrifices to God. That was his reasoning. But Samuel said to him in the book of Samuel 1st, Samuel 1517, if you are humble in your eyes, you must remember that you are the head of the children of Israel. It's one thing for you to want to be humble, but don't forget you're the king and a king cannot be too humble. You have a role to play. Samuel is basically saying this was a time when you should have exercised your authority. You were too humble and that caused you to yield to the wishes of the people. This is misguided humility. That was one reason why we're told that the kingdom of Saul did not last. But the Talmud gives a second reason. The Talmud says, and it's going to sound strange, that you cannot have a Jewish leader unless there is a box of dead vermin hanging from his shoulder. You cannot be a leader of the Jewish people unless you have a box of dead rodents or vermin hanging from your back, hanging from your shoulder. What's the teaching about? What is that teaching us? So what it's saying is you cannot really be an appropriate leader of Israel unless you have a skeleton in the closet. You have to have a skeleton in the closet. Now David had that because we know that David was of questionable birth. David descended from Ruth, a Moabite woman, and there was a whole question about whether a Moabite woman can marry into the Jewish people. So there was a question about David's Yichos of his lineage. But Saul did not have that. And since Saul did not have this skeleton in his closet, it may be allowed him to be too arrogant. You need to be able to remind a leader about their past. So it seems when you look at these two reasons that Talmud gives for why the kingdom of Saul did not last, the two reasons seem to be contradictory. The first reason seemed to be saying that Saul was too humble. And the second reason seemed to be saying that he was too arrogant. He had nothing to remind him of his past. How to be resolved these two different approaches of the Talmud? So the answer is that Saul's humility really stemmed from arrogance. His sense of humility was not real humility. The fact that he was caving into the wishes of the people was not because he was a very humble person. It came from his own arrogance. What was that all about? He needed the approval of everyone. He needed everyone to like him. He could not go to bed at night unless he felt, everyone likes me, everyone loves me. He needed everyone's approval. And that seeking of approval and seeking of everyone to like him didn't stem from the humility, it stemmed from his arrogance. And because of that fake humility, he was not able to assert himself. However, David was truly humble. He wasn't always looking over his shoulder to see what the people thought. And therefore, he was able to act as a leader. He didn't worry about the possible accusation of being arrogant because he was truly humble. He was truly able to assert himself when it was called for. But since Saul was not truly humble, he was driven by his arrogance to act humbly in order to secure the approval of the nation. And therefore, he was not able to assert himself and lead when necessary. I wanted to share another way, another angle of looking at humility. And this is developed very beautifully in a book by Alan Marinus called Every Day Holiness. And Marinus basically takes humility as an understanding of our place in the world or how much space we should be taking up in our lives. How much space do we take up? And how much space do we allow for other people? When someone shares some personal information with you or someone unburdens themself with a problem they're having, what do we do? Do we immediately jump in with our advice, our wisdom, our perspective? Do we have to immediately give our point of view? Someone that we're close with has just shared something about their life with us, something that they feel good about, something they're troubled by. The truth is, it's not about us. When a friend of ours or a relative is sharing a concern of theirs or they want to celebrate a victory of theirs, it's about them. It's not about us. And when it's about me, I will often not allow them to have their moment. I will jump in immediately to show my wisdom. I know what you need to do. I know how to solve your problem. And so humility requires that we exercise self-restraint. Let them talk. Let us listen. It's their space at the present moment, not our space to fill it up. These are people that need to be heard. They need to be validated. They need to be allowed to vent or to be appreciated or to be admired. It's about them. It's not about me. So we should not fill up the space that really belong to them at this point. Life is often a competition. Too often life is a competition. There's a beautiful Jewish principle called vatranut, to be a mevater. To be a mevater means that I yield, I give in, I let it go. I'm magnanimous. I don't have to always be right. I don't have to always assert myself. It doesn't mean being a doormat and allowing ourselves to be walked all over. But I don't have to win every situation in life. I don't always have to assert my rights and what's coming to me. It requires a tremendous amount of humility to be able to say, I let it go. I'm yielding. It's OK. I give in. So how do we acquire humility? Such an incredibly wonderful, beautiful, valuable character trait. How can it be acquired? My mind on these says that if you want to acquire humility, contemplate the grandeur and magnitude of the universe. Think about how huge this universe is and how small we are. Look at the heavens. Look at the stars. Look at the planets. Look how immense this world is. Think about how outer space goes on and on and on and on. I might have mentioned in the class previously, when I was in eighth grade, my science teacher told us that outer space goes on infinitely. And I tried to imagine going in a spaceship and just going and going and going and going, and it never ends. And I just started crying in class because my brain started hurting. It was so, it was too big. It was like too hard to even deal with. And it was, it was overwhelming. It's overwhelming to think how vast this universe is. And when we realize how vast the universe is, we begin to see our place in it. We're not that big. And it's something that can lead to a realistic assessment of our own self-importance. It will certainly be reduced when we realize our place in the world. Rabbi Yisachar Frand once said that when people visit the Grand Canyon, if you watch how they behave, everyone whispers there, like they're in a library. Because there's an intuitive sense that you're standing on holy ground. Because there is a place, you know, we walk around cities like if you're living in New York or Toronto, everything you see is man-made. Everything here has straight lines. Nothing is natural. But if you go to a place like the Grand Canyon, even the Canadian one or the American one, you see ultimate beauty, ultimate grandeur. And there's a sense that this is holy. I don't think people necessarily walk up and down Bathurst Street and see intrinsic holiness. It's sort of almost the opposite in many ways. But when we encounter God in nature and the beauty and the grandeur of nature, we have a sense of the magnificence, the beauty, the holiness of the world we live in, that certainly can leave people to humility. A second thing that can lead us to acquire the trait of humility is to recognize how vulnerable we are in this world, how fragile our lives are, that we're not in control, that the sand castles that fortify our egos very easily can crumble. There's a fascinating passage in Natalmud, tractate Sota 49a. When Rebbe died, we're told, Rebbe was Rabbi Yudahanasi, he was the editor of the Mishnah, the redactor of the Mishnah. So we're told in Natalmud that when Rebbe died, humility died. When he died, that was it. He won't find any humble people anymore after Rebbe. So Natalmud says that Rabbi Yosef said, but what about me? You read this passage in Natalmud and it sounds funny. Natalmud says when Rebbe died, humility, there's no more humility. And Rebbe Yosef said, but what about me? How do we understand this passage of Natalmud? So Natalmud tells us that Rebbe Yosef was someone who went blind later in life. And as a result of becoming blind, he forgot all of his Torah studies. He forgot all of his learning. And what he was saying when he said at this point, but what about me? He was saying that I am an object lesson in humility. He was saying to people, you think it's impossible to find something that will inspire you to be humble? Rabbi Yudan Nasi is not here anymore, but what about me? If anyone sees me and thinks about my life, that will lead them to be humble because I'm a lesson in recognizing how quickly our lives can slip out of our control. When we feel that we're in control, that we're totally in control of our lives, that's not the case. And all of us know that that's true, especially as we get older. We are very fragile human beings. We're not the super people we think that we were when we were teenagers. I've often mentioned that the Chavitzchayim used to say when a person gets their first gray hair, it's a hazmonah to the baitin. It's an invitation to the high court upstairs. We get older and begin to realize that we are not impervious, we're not super people who will last forever. It's a very famous story that when the first chief rabbi of New York City, they only had one, it's in the beginning of the 20th century, came from Europe. I think his name was Rabbi Jacob Yosef, I think that was his name. And he was a very brilliant, great leader, but he got sick, I believe he had a stroke. And he wasn't really 100%. And after a year or so of recuperating, he was gonna give his first public lecture right before the high holidays. And there's a huge crowd that gathered. And he stood in front of this tremendous crowd and he opened up the Talmud. And he said nine words that were considered to be the most powerful sermon ever given before the holidays. Just nine words. He said, the Talmud says. And then he got lost in his thoughts and he said, the Talmud says, the Talmud says. And then he broke down and started crying. And he said, look what can happen to a person. He said, I came here to speak. And he says, I don't even know what I was gonna talk about. So if we want to get in touch with our own sense of how fragile we really are, it's something that will destroy any kind of arrogance that can creep up on us. There's a very famous German rabbis in New York. They came ultimately Rabbi Moshe and Rabbi Mordechai Schwab, two great leaders of German Jewry. And as children, they used to study together. And while they were learning, the older brother Rabbi Moshe would sometimes look into a little tiny box that he had with him. He'd hold a little small box while they were studying. And the younger brother would ask him, what he was doing? What are you looking at there in this little box? And the older brother would avoid the question. He wouldn't answer. He'd always avoid the question. So one day Mordechai, the younger brother, couldn't take it any longer. And he peeked into this little small box one night. He found the little box and he looked into it and he couldn't believe what he saw. In this little small box, there was a little bit of sand, a little bit of dirt. So he asked his brother, what was that? What is this little box of dirt? So his brother of Moshe said to him, that you know what, I'm the older brother. And he said, because I'm older, I'm a little bit more erudite than you are. And at times I began to feel superior. I know a little bit more than you. And he said that I have more knowledge and skill at this time in my life. And because I didn't want to feel superior, he said I would then glance at this dust in the box and it would remind me of where we came from and where we were ultimately gonna end up. And that would squelch his feelings of arrogance. A third way of acquiring humility is to act humbly. Even if we are not humble people, we can act humbly. And this is not, as I said before, putting on fake heirs of humility, but there are ways of beginning to act humbly. As we say today, fake it till you make it. Nachmanadi said, for example, I mentioned this last week, Nachmanadi recommended, Nachmanadi's recommended that you cultivate the practice of speaking to everyone with a very slow and quiet voice. I mean, don't raise your voice when you speak with people. Speak quietly and slowly. And he said this will instill in you the character of humility. You will not begin to show superiority and arrogance and annoyance when you're dealing with other people. It's a way of speaking with respect to every other person in the world because the truth is we should treat every other person with respect and dignity. Every other human being is created in the image of God. Every other human being has infinite worth as much as we do, and therefore, it doesn't make any sense that we should be arrogant against them. Shmelch of Nicholsburg, one of the great Hasidic masters, was once gonna be coming into a city to visit. And as they arrived in the city, he asked his attendant if he could just be alone for a few minutes before he goes out to meet the crowds. So he went into a small room by himself and the attendant overheard him. And Reshmelka was saying, oh, rabbi, you're so wise. You're so brilliant. There's no one that has sterling qualities like you. You come from an illustrious line of rabbis. There's no one like you in this generation. And the attendant heard Reshmelka going on and on and on. And when he came out of the room, the attendant said to him, you know, I'm sorry if I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but overhearing what you were saying, and it sounded so strange. What were you doing in there? So Reshmelka said to the attendant, let me ask you a question. He said, when you heard me saying all those things in the room, what did you think? What was your reaction? So the attendant said, I can't say, I can't say. So no, I'm asking you, tell me what it sounded like. He said, to be honest with you, it sounded ridiculous. It sounded so foolish. How could you be saying these things to yourself in the room there? So Reshmelka said to him, that's exactly why I was saying it. In a few minutes, I'm going out to these big crowds of people who are gonna be saying these exact things to me. They're gonna be saying these laudatory expressions, rabbi, we admire you. You're so brilliant. There's no one like you in this generation. You're so righteous. And he said, I was afraid that it's gonna go to my head. So I wanted to hear myself saying these things to realize how ridiculous it is. Another thing that we can do to cultivate humility, and this is not so obvious, is to recognize that our gate can be a vehicle for self-improvement. The way we carry ourselves in public can be a way of cultivating humility. Don't dress to call attention to yourself. That smacks of arrogance. Don't walk like a king with your head up held high. There are ways in which people carry themselves in public where it's very clear they're trying to call attention to themselves. If we're just aware of the way we present ourselves to the public, the way we carry ourselves in public, the way we present ourselves to the public, it can be an exercise for self-improvement. Also, the Talmud says, who is the wise person? The answer the Talmud gives is the wise person is someone who is able to learn from everyone. That requires humility. To go through life and recognize, I'm able to learn from everyone. You know, the Torah begins by talking about the creation of human beings, and the Torah says that when God created the human being, it says, naase odom bitsal menu. Let us make man in our image. And the obvious question is, let us make man? Who is God speaking to? So there are many explanations to this strange verse, but one of the explanations given is that God was consulting with the angels. Why does God have to consult with the angels? So the sages tell us that God was teaching us the trait of humility. God obviously does not need to consult with the angels. God is perfectly capable of creating by himself. But God is trying to teach us the importance of consulting with our subordinates. We often think, I don't need to ask advice of so and so. So it exhibits a tremendous amount of humility when we ask people what they think, even though maybe we wouldn't ordinarily do that. And so it's a very helpful way of cultivating humility by asking advice, by asking the opinions of others, even though maybe we wouldn't ordinarily do that. Even let's say doing it of children. Asking children, what do they think? What is your opinion? One of the great debacles in Jewish history was in 1666 when Shabtai Tzvi was exposed as a false messiah. He ultimately was given the choice of being either killed or converting to Islam. And he decided to put on the turban and convert to Islam. Unfortunately, he had attracted a huge number of followers. One of the great rabbinic leaders at that time was the Taz, the Turei Zahab. And the Taz explained why he never accepted Shabtai Tzvi. He says it was because when he gave Torah lectures, he sprawled out on a couch. He said, a person that has true fear of God would show more humility when speaking words of Torah. How do we present ourselves to the rest of the world? And finally, one last way I'll share of cultivating humility was suggested by the Chobos Lavevos, the author of the duties of the heart, who said, remember that one day we are each going to stand before God in judgment. And we're gonna have to give an accounting for every single thing in our life. Are we going to be proud of everything we did in our lives? So if we think about the fact that one day we're going to stand in judgment and we're gonna be asked to give an accounting for every single thing we did in life, I'm not sure that each of us would say I'm proud of every single thing I've done. I'll just share a few exercises that you may want to try over the coming weeks. If you're interested in trying to acquire more of this amazing trait of humility, one exercise that's been suggested is to try this meditation. Spend two minutes every day contemplating the gap between your potential and how much you've actually accomplished in life. Every single one of us has incredible potential. Very few people ever actualize that potential. So one of the things that may lead us to becoming more humble is to think about the gap between our potential and what we've actually accomplished. The book of the Orchos Tzadikim suggested this very similar meditation. He said, all of the good things that I do in life are but a drop in the ocean in comparison to what I ought to do. A second exercise I'll suggest. If you're in the custom, if you have the custom of praying, the Amida, the 18 or 19 blessings in the silent meditation, so part of the Jewish prayer service is to bow. We bow both at the beginning of the prayers and at the end of the prayers. And so when you're bowing in prayer, it's not a bad time to think about how bowing expresses humility and submission before God. And one last exercise which might be actually very difficult to do. And you may be able to do this more in your imagination than in reality. The sages say that the pupil of our eye is called an ishon. The little black dot is called an ishon. I'm sorry, it's called actually the bat ayin, is the pupil. But in the pupil, in that black pupil, is something that we call the ishon. Ishon means a little man. Ish is a man. And inside the pupil, if you look carefully, if you're looking in a mirror, you'll see yourself. If you look at, if you're in front of someone else, so in the other person's eyes, you'll see yourself. If you're standing with someone and you look into their eyes, and you look, I mean, this can be uncomfortable if you stare in someone's eyes like this. But if you look at someone's pupils, you'll see yourself reflected in the pupil of their eye. And how do you look like a very, very little person? So oftentimes what happens in life is we see ourselves as very big and we tend to diminish others because we wanna feel big. So the exercise is to remind ourselves of how small we really are, is when we're in the presence of another person, if you can do this without making them feel creeped out. If you can look in their eye and catch this reflection of yourself in their eye and see how incredibly small you are, you could use it as a point of meditation for instilling the feeling, the trait of humility in yourself.