 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as The Great Gildersleeve. The Great Gildersleeve is brought to you by The Kraft Foods Company. Makers of Miracle Whip, the salad dressing that's so delicious, it's America's favorite, outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Miracle Whip has a wonderful, lively, teasing flavor, and yet it's not a bit too sharp. It's a flavor most folks call just exactly right. Make your salads taste better than ever with America's favorite salad dressing, delicious Miracle Whip. Last week, The Great Gildersleeve's niece, Marjorie, became the mother of twins. Yep, a boy and a girl. Of course, Marjorie and the twins are still in the hospital, but Leroy, Bertie, and the proud water commissioner are happily discussing the wonderful new family. Yeah, I can't get over it, Bertie. Twin. Yes, sir. Yeah, I can't wait for him to come home. They'll do a lot for this house. They've done a lot for me already. Yeah, what's this, Leroy? I've been elected president of my class. You have? Ain't that nice? Yeah, the kids all look up to me because I'm the uncle of twins. No other kid in school can make that statement. Yeah, I wonder if they've grown any since I saw them this afternoon. We'll know when Mr. Bronco gets home from the hospital. He'd measure them if they'd let him get behind that glass. They sure are particular with them. What's the use of having babies if you can't play with them? Well, you don't play with them right away, my boy. The first couple of weeks, you just look at them. They sure are cute. The minute the nurse held on for me to look at, I said to myself, now that's something cute. Yeah, I agree, Bertie. The little girl looks just like Miss Marjorie. Well, more like Marjorie's mother, I think. Yeah? I think she looks like me. As an infant, of course. Well... And that little boy, Mr. Gil Sleeve, he favors your side of the family, too. You think so? Yes, sir. When I look at that little boy, I can just see you. Yeah, thank you, Bertie. Right, George, I'm going to have a photographer over the minute they can stand the lights. Bertie. Yes, sir? What is there about the little boy that reminds you of me? Well, for one thing, he's got your nose. I think his nose is more like mine. Leroy, both babies can't look like you. Why not? They're twins. But the boy resembles me. Bertie isn't the first one who noticed it. I noticed it myself. I know how we can settle it, Aunt. When the baby comes home, I'll pay the mustache on him to see if he looks like you. Leroy, you will not. Only kidding. Bad boy. Well, Bronco's home. Oh-ho, folks. Hi. Hello, Bronco. How'd you leave Marjorie and the babies? Oh, they're just fine, Mr. Gillesleve. What a family. Yeah, we were just talking about them. Mr. Bronco, how are you and Miss Marjorie coming on with the names for the babies? Well, the twins threw us a curve, Bertie. Right now it's all up in the air. Yeah, we ought to get that settled right away, Bronco. Yeah, I know. Mr. Gillesleve, we've even looked through the telephone book. Do you have any suggestions? Boy, is he leaving himself wide open. Well, Bronco, you understand this is just a suggestion. Oh, sure. Since almost everybody thinks the twins look like my side of the family, it wouldn't be a bad idea to give both the boy and girl Gillesleve names. Oh. You mean, like, Gillesleve and Gillesleveette? Oh, brother. No, Leroy, I mean first names. Oh. Well, then how about naming one of them Leroy? Are you serious, Leroy? Sure. No, Leroy, why don't you run up to bed? I'll handle this. If Bronco's really open to suggestions. Oh, yes. We haven't decided anything, Mr. Gillesleve. Well, don't you worry about it, Bronco. I'll go see Judge Hooker first thing in the morning and check through some names. Judge Hooker? Mm, Judge has the family tree under lock and key. What's the matter? Are we ashamed of it? Leroy, up to bed. Hey, George, I like good ol' family names. Yeah, I'll get Judge Hooker to look through the records. He knows more about the family than anybody, being Marjorie's godfather. Yeah, I hope he's in. Yeah, he's in. Good morning, Horace. Oh, what brings you to my legal layer this fine morning? Judge, I want you to get out our family tree. Why, Gillesleve, can't you remember which branch you're swinging from? Horace, all right. Yeah, I'm looking for suitable family names for Marjorie's twin. A splendid idea. I have all the family records in the safe. Now, let me see if I can remember the combination. Yeah, then don't you have it written down someplace? No, no, no, no. I'm for the money. Six to make ready. Then open the door. Oh, my goodness. Sounds like inner sanctum. Let me see now. I should be able to put my hand right on it. What a safe. I wouldn't put my hand in there for the love of their money. Judge, why do you have a shoe box in your safe? That contains my fig bar coupons from the health store, Gilda. Oh? Five hundred more and I get a folding card table. Wee, hush, that's a lot of figs, Judge. Yeah, but I like them. Those documents are here someplace. Oh, go and jump out. A mouse? No, Gilda, no. That's my curl. We're cut off when I was seven. An old goat with mouse-colored curls. Here we are, Gilda. Seven generations of names for you to pick from. Well, thank you, Judge. I want to take this along to Marjorie at the hospital. We'll find a couple of suitable names for the twins. You mean you're naming both of them for your side of the family, Gilda? Why not, Judge? What about the father's family, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson? Well, Mr. Thompson's so absent-minded he can't remember his own name. He won't care if I pick them. I see. What about Mrs. Thompson? Mrs. Thompson? If I know Mrs. Thompson, Gildy, she won't stand idly by why you name her grandchildren. Well, that's right, Judge. But before she knows what's going on, Marjorie and I will pick out two fine names. That could be easier said than done, Gildy. You just leave it to me, Judge. You just lock your safe before somebody steals your curl. This is a fine maternity ward. Hello, Miss Faulkner. Yeah, all the nurses know me now. It's 3-0-2. This is Marjorie's room. Glad I thought to bring those snap-dragons. Marjorie. It's your old uncle. Oh, come in, Uncle Maura. Yeah, thank you. Well, sitting up. You look lovely, my dear. Oh, I feel wonderful. I'm so anxious to take the babies home. Well, we're anxious to have you home. How are the twins? Oh, they're fine. Great. Oh, almost forgot, snap-dragons. Oh, thank you, Anki. They're lovely. Do you have a little vase I can put them in? Well, I'll have the nurse attend to it later. Just put them over there with the others. The others? Mrs. Thompson brought the basket of American beauties. She did? I'd better work fast. Marjorie. Yes, Anki? I thought we might decide on names for the babies this morning. Oh, that's a coincidence. Mrs. Thompson had the same idea. Yo. Is she and Mr. Thompson just left? You know, I hope she didn't talk you into anything, Marjorie. You know how Bronco's mother is. She wants to run the whole show. No, Anki. I thought you and Mother Thompson would get along better after the stork came. You'll take more than a stork to make me get along with an old crow. Oh, she's a very nice woman. Sure. If you don't let her tell you what to name the babies. I'm closer to you than she is. But I wouldn't try to influence you. And by the way, I brought you the Gildersleeve family tree. Oh, thank you, Uncle Mort. Put it on the table with the other one. The other one? Mrs. Thompson brought hers when she brought the roses. Oh, my goodness. Pushey in laws. No, Anki. Well, Marjorie, if I see Mrs. Thompson, I'm afraid I'll have to be firm about this. The twins resemble our side of the family, and they should have our names. Well, let's not make it a problem. Oh, no, I won't. Yeah, I'd better get out and see the twins. Their little Gildersleeve faces might suggest names to me. Goodbye. Da-da, my dear. Gildersleeve, you're smooth. You've got my drone vodka on your side. Now your only obstacle is Mrs. Thompson. Oop, there she is. She and her foggy husband. They sneak back around the corner before they see me. You made it. Mr. Gildersleeve? Trapped. Hello, Mrs. Thompson. Were you sneaking around the corner, Mr. Gildersleeve? Well, tip-telling. You're supposed to be quiet in the hospital, you know. Hello, Mr. Thompson. Hello. Who is this fellow, Martha? Why, Edward, it's Mr. Gildersleeve, Marjorie's uncle. Oh, I remember now. What a memory. Gildersleeve, how is Marjorie? Edward, we just left Marjorie. She's fine. Oh, yes. Gildersleeve, Marjorie's going to have a baby. Good heaven. Mr. Thompson, in case you haven't heard. They're waiting to see some babies now. They hold them up on the other side of this glass. Yeah, I know, Mr. Thompson. Oh, here comes the nurse with the babies now. Oh, look at the little darlings. Oh, aren't they cunning? They're cute. Two of them. Say, I wonder if they're twins. Edward, they're Marjorie's and Bronco's twins. Already? Things happen fast, don't they? Only a moment ago, we saw Marjorie up on the third floor. Quiet, Edwards. Oh, yes, yes, baby. Look at the little rascals kicking at the blankets. Hello, children. Mrs. Thompson, you're going to make them cry. The one that looks like me is clouding up. Mr. Gildersleeve, I don't see how you can possibly say one of these adorable children looks like you. For your information, Mrs. Thompson, everyone says both babies resemble our side of the family. Mr. Gildersleeve, how ridiculous can you be? Why, this little girl is the image of me and should be named Martha. Please, that's the little boy. And he looks like me. That's strange. They're all our grandchildren, Gildersleeve. You're their mind, too, and they're going to have Gildersleeve names. Well, we'll see about that. Where do we go to see about it? You'll see. It was going to be harder than I thought. Sleeve returns in a moment. Now, I don't have to tell you, homemakers, how hard it is to come by an idea for a luncheon main dish that's easy, delicious, and different. So I think you'll be interested in this idea for wonderful crab meat rolls. All you do is mix crab meat, diced celery, and chopped hard-cooked eggs together with miracle whip salad dressing. Then just cut slices from the tops of the hard rolls, scoop out part of the centers, and stuff those crispy rolls with your delicious crab meat salad. Mmm, they're wonderful. And just the thing for those party lunches you have to plan now and then. And so they'll be at their delicious best be sure you make them with miracle whip salad dressing. Miracle whip has a flavor that's neither too sharp nor too mild. It's a grand peppy flavor that millions of folks call just exactly right. And it's a truly different flavor, because miracle whip is actually a different kind of salad dressing. It's made from a secret craft recipe that combines the best qualities of old-fashioned boil dressing and fine mayonnaise. And delicious miracle whip is mixed a special craft way so it's smooth as smooth can be. No wonder miracle whip is America's favorite salad dressing. Enjoy it on your salads, whether they're meat or fish combinations, colorful vegetable salads, or shimmering gelatin molds. You'll enjoy your salads more with the one and only miracle whip. Well, let's get back to the great Gilderslee. He's having a little trouble getting Marjorie's twins named after his side of the family. Bronco's mother, Mrs. Thompson, has some pretty definite ideas on the subject, too. And when an irresistible force like the water commissioner meets an immovable object like Mrs. Thompson, something has to give. Right, George, I won't give an inch. Oh, Mr. Gilderslee, what can I do for you today? I don't know. Coke? Cigars? I don't need cigars to smoke. Don't you? Having trouble with Marjorie's in-laws, Pee-Pee. That's new? Well, it's a new kind of trouble. Mrs. Thompson is trying to tell me what to name Marjorie's baby. I bet you're not going to let her get away with that. Not if I can help it. She's used to having her way. What do you think I should do, Pee-Pee? You're the water commissioner. You can turn off her water. No. No, Pee-Pee. I guess I'll just have to battle it out with her. Mr. Gilderslee, there's an old saying, nothing attracts bees like a little honey. Pee-Pee, I'm not attracting bees. I'm arguing nose to nose with a hornet. Well, it even pays to be nice to a hornet. I recall a disagreement Mrs. Pee-Pee and I had about naming a baby. Yeah? Mrs. Pee-Pee's sister's child. I wanted to call the lad Quincy. It's my middle name. I was wondering what the cue stood for. Yeah, that's it, Quincy. Mrs. Pee-Pee, on the other hand, wanted to name the boy after her great-grandfather. What was his name, Pee-Pee? Loot. So I made quite a point at catering to Mrs. Pee-Pee to get my way and she was so impressed she insisted we named the boy Quincy. That's my middle name. Yeah, I know Pee-Pee. Mr. Gilderslee, I have an idea for you. You about a name? My family never did use Loot. You have twins, you could call a boy Loot and a girl Flute. Pee-Pee, you're not serious. Well, they're musical names. Pee-Pee, that's the silliest suggestion I ever heard. Well, you don't have to take it. I guess you'd like to name the boy Snockmorton. Well, they could do worse. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Oh, my goodness. He's a pretty shrewd campaigner. Yeah, I think I'll take his advice and play up to Mrs. Thompson. I might even invite her over for dinner. No, not now, my boy. I want a phone, Mrs. Thompson. You want a phone, Mrs. Thompson? Of course, Leroy. I want her to come to dinner. To come to dinner? Yes. It's been much too long since Mr. and Mrs. Thompson have been to our house for a pleasant evening. That's a pleasant evening? Boy, go outside and kick your football. I want to hear you invite Mrs. Thompson. Leroy. I'm going. What a character. And a shrewd character, too. I'll get her over here, hand out a little fried chicken and flattery and win her over. You've got to know how to handle women. Mother, there's a phone. Can I take it? I think I'd better, Edward. Hello. And so have I. Say, Mr. Gilderslee, this is very nice of you. Yeah. 7H30? Well, I suppose you may. Yes, yes, you may. Yeah, good. Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Gilderslee. Thank you. Who was it, Mother? Mr. Gilderslee, you remember him. He's Marjorie's uncle. Oh, of course. She's the one who's married to our son, Bronco. Yeah. Yes. Mr. Gilderslee wants us to come to dinner tomorrow night and I want to go. You want to go? Yes, yes, Edward. And I think the new twins will be given names from our side of the family. Mother, at times I don't understand what you're talking about. Well, Mr. Gilderslee is such an egotistical man. I think a little flattery will win him over. I thought we were going over there. We are. Yes. Yes, tomorrow night and I'll set up trap for that big water buffalo. Trap a buffalo? But, Mother, I thought we were going to Gildersleeve's for dinner. Oh, what a challenge. Nice tonight, Bertie. Thank you, sir. How's the chicken coming? Okay. I put the wings and necks back in the refrigerator like you said. Yeah, good. We're serving the Thompson's nothing but the choice pieces. Well, that's the idea, Bertie. Mr. Gildersleeve, why are the Thompson's getting all the choice pieces? Well, I've decided we ought to be more congenial now that the twins are here. Yes, sir. And they still haven't been named, you know? No, sir. After a good dinner, when we're all contented and happy, we may get around to choosing names. Yes, sir. It's pretty hard to bite the hand that just fed you. Oh, Bertie, I'm not trying to influence anybody unduly. No, sir. It's not up to me to name Marjorie's twins. No, sir. It isn't up to Mrs. Thompson, either. No, sir. Of course, I have ideas about it. Yes, sir. And so is Mrs. Thompson. Yes, sir. So, we'll see if we can't get together after dinner. Yes, yes. I wonder if Mrs. Thompson is as smart as Bertie. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Good evening, Bronco. What's in the box on the piano? That's a corsage. I thought I'd pin it on your mother when she comes over. You bought a corsage for mother? Uh-huh. Mr. Gildersleeve, do you feel all right? Never better. Bronco, after dinner, do you think we could ask your mother to play the piano and sing? Yeah, sure. I want Mrs. Thompson to enjoy the evening. Mr. Thompson, too. Oh, there they are. Better slip on my coat and welcome them. Where's Leroy? He's not putting on a tie, like you told him. Oh, yes. Coming! Mrs. Thompson, come right in. Hello, Gildersleeve. Bronco, your parents are here. Oh, hello, mother. Dad? Let me take your coat. Bronco, you take your father's coat. I'll help Mrs. Thompson out of her. Well, thank you, Mr. Gildersleeve. You're always such a gentleman. Thank you. And I have something here for a very lovely lady. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. Yep, a corsage. Oh! Oh, it's beautiful. Beauty deserves the beautiful. I always say. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. I'm in. Oh, I have something for you, too. Bill? Edward, give dear Mr. Gildersleeve my cigars. Oh, oh, yes. Gildersleeve, a box of cigars. Smokes for the smoker. Thank you. I wonder if they're loaded. Well, that's everybody's sit-down. Yeah, it is, Mother Thompson. You sit here with me. Thank you. Well, it certainly is nice to see the two families together. Yes, isn't it? Well, are we going to argue about naming the baby? Yes. Please, Mr. Thompson. I didn't think we'd discuss that until after we'd eaten some chicken. Yeah, I mean... Well, after all, there isn't much to talk about. There isn't? Gildersleeve, Mother says it's decided. Yes. No, wait a minute. I have something to say about this. But Gildersleeve, Mother gave you cigars. Well, I gave her a corsage. Mr. Gildersleeve, if you're trying to bribe me, you can have the corsage back. Bribe you? Me? No, Mrs. Thompson. You didn't bring me a box of cigars because you found them. No, I didn't. You're just trying to get me to let you name the twins. That's all. I thought we weren't going to talk about names until after chicken. Edward, you say out of this. Yes, Mother. Now, wait a minute, Mother. You say out of it too, Bronco. Now, you listen to me, Mr. Gildersleeve. I had the floor, Mrs. Thompson. I will not stay out of it. I'm sorry, Mother, but I've stood by as long as I can. Whose twins are these, anyway? Whose twins... Well... Marge and I know you both mean well, and we've looked over both family trees. Well, what did you think of them? Some very funny names. Now, Marge and I are taking over. We've given a lot of thought to naming our babies, and we've got news for you. You have? What are you going to name them, Bronco? We don't know. Oh, my goodness. But we'll make the final decisions, and thank you very much. Well... Yeah, I guess you were right, Bronco. Yes, perhaps we were meddling, son. My arm. Mrs. Dawson. Oh, thank you, Mr. Gildersleeve. Yes, let's eat chicken. Then we can argue about naming the baby. We will. Gildersleeve will be right back. You good cooks know that tomato stuffed with chicken salad is probably not a new idea, but it's still a good one. And if you want to make it extra good, just make your chicken salad with margarine, just make your chicken salad with Miracle Whip salad dressing, because Miracle Whip has such a wonderful flavor, lively and teasing, peppy and yet not a bit too sharp. It's a flavor that's just exactly right. And it's a different flavor, one you won't find in any other salad dressing. Get a jar tomorrow and make your salads taste extra delicious with the one and only Miracle Whip. This is Gildersleeve again, folks. We're having a dickens of a time naming those twins, aren't we? But I have an idea, a real good one. You'll hear all about it next week. And now, before we go, I'd like to take just a moment to remind you that next week is National 4-H Club Week. Last year, nearly 2 million young people all over America participated in 4-H Club work. And you know what they did? We'll just listen to this. 4-H Club members last year and that's a lot of vegetables. You know how many head of livestock they raised? One million. They put up frozen food, too. Three million pounds of it. And that's only the beginning. I tell you, 4-H Club work isn't all turnips and beans. No, sir. These young people are learning to take their places as capable citizens in the homes, the communities, and the world of tomorrow. Bye, George. Have a great night, folks. The Great Gilda Sleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by Paul West, John Ellion, and Andy White, with music by Robert Armbrister. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary-Nee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Dick Brenna, Herb Butterfield, Isabel Randolph, Earl Ross, and Dick LeGrand. This is John Easton saying good night for The Craft Foods Company, makers of those famous craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday. The Great Gilda Sleeve will have great news for you. Here's a thrifty secret for making economy meals come to life. Next time you serve cold meats, sandwiches, or leftovers, don't forget the mustard. For when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Every bite tastes better. And the mustard to add is craft's prepared mustard. There are two kinds, you know. Craft's salad mustard, mild and delicately spiced. Craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both on hand for different tastes, different uses. And remember, when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Get craft's prepared mustard. Hear the Falcon every Sunday over this station. Check your newspaper for time of broadcast and listen next Sunday as the Falcon solves the case of the gangster's girl. You'll bet your life it's Groucho Marx. On NBC.