 Rejection is just part of the game. I know I'm going to get rejected. I'm going to get rejected a lot. It's a numbers game. They don't try to control. Well, maybe if I can just try to get this positive, no. 60-40 principle, they know without even thinking about it. They know. Sometimes they're going to get good reactions. Sometimes girls are going to be in good moods. Sometimes girls are going to be having a good day. Sometimes girls are going to be ovulating. And sometimes girls are going to be not so good of a mood. Sometimes girls are going to be having a bad day. Sometimes girls are going to be menstruating. They're not sitting there trying to rack their brain over how they can increase their odds. No, they know that the vast majority of it has nothing to do with them whatsoever. So instead of wasting their time trying to figure out some perfect thing to say, they're just throwing out as many opportunities as they possibly can. And you look at this entire industry, not this entire industry, excuse me, so much of this industry is predicated on that promise. You're like, I don't try to control everything. This industry is predicated on the promise. I'm going to give you what to say. Sign up for this, take that, and I'll give you that line so that you never get rejected. It's been playing off men's insecurities. It's been telling us it's more complicated than it actually is. Is it, do you really have to win her over with some complex thing? No. She knows in the first five to 10 seconds whether she wants to sleep with you or not. It's coming, this elaborate thing that you can hope to concoct in order to win her over. It's not going to change that. It's just going to waste both of your time. Maybe she's polite, maybe she's not, but the girls that liked you and were into you at the end of that were the same girls who were going to like you and were into you before that, despite that. The guys who are good with women, well, I like to change the verbiage, excuse me, I like to change the verbiage of all this because the whole idea that a lot of people have in this community of approaching is built in, these mistakes are built into it. This whole idea of going up to a girl or a group of girls with something that they have to say, that they're hoping will get a specific reaction controlling the situation, thinking that it's more than 60, 40, that they actually have more power in that than they actually do. They think of what to say, they walk up, they deliver it, and then they stand there waiting to either be accepted or rejected. This whole idea of approaching is just riddled with error and it's no wonder why something's been broken for so long. We keep trying, we get better and better, but there's still a big gaping hole and we can't figure out why. I don't like to think of it as, I stopped using the term approaching just because of how we generally think of it when we think of approaching. Because when myself or guys who are good with girls, they don't think of it as like, okay, so approach. Hey guys, I gotta get back to my friends. They don't think of it as this like big thing they do. Sometimes they're gonna be around girls, they're gonna try to position themselves around girls, and then usually it's just something they shout over their shoulder. Then it's usually, hey, by the way, this and that. They're not trying to put an effort trying to get a good reaction, they're just simply getting their attention because they know more than anyone else that sometimes you're gonna get a positive reaction, sometimes you're gonna get a negative reaction. Remember I said that there are things that play into what you do? Are you smiling? Are you looking them in the eyes? Can they hear you? On the approach, that's essentially it. The rest of it, it's up to them. Really, try it. I stopped using the terms approach and I just started using the term dropping a hook. Dropping a hook because when fishermen are fishing, right, and they stick their lines in the water and the fish aren't biting that day, they don't say, oh, I'm a shitty fisherman. They say sometimes the fish just aren't biting. That's just the way fish are sometimes. Maybe I'll try a little different bait, maybe I'll go check out a different fishing hole, sometimes the fish bite, sometimes they don't. And I'm not going up with this whole thing trying to do it, I'm just dropping a hook. I can go to the bar, drop a hook over my shoulder. I can bump into some girl behind me, look at her and say excuse me, oh, I just dropped a hook. Sometimes she's gonna be like, oh yeah, don't worry about it. Sometimes she's gonna be like, oh, it's no problem, T. I'm gonna say, oh, that's a cool headband thing you're wearing. She's gonna be like, either she's gonna be like, thanks. Or she's gonna be like, oh, thanks, right? You've all seen either one of these reactions before. You know how it happens, but natural human tendency to over complicate, build up these big structures of what's going to happen when it's so freaking basic. The only thing that makes this complicated, all of this stuff. The only thing that makes it complicated is this thing right here. It's so, but freaking simple. The only thing that makes it complicated is your doubt, your insecurity that wants to make it more complicated to make you feel like you can't do it. It's freaking simple. I promised myself I wouldn't swear. I made that promise in years past, but freaking just sounds weird. Drop hooks. Drop hooks. Sometimes they're gonna, oh, sometimes they're not. You lose nothing whatsoever. What have you lost right there? You're not taking it personally. And yet because you're not like wasting all of your time, 10 minutes trying to like dig out, like finally dig out a good reaction which never would have came anyway when you could have dropped 10 more. And you're not thinking about it. It's like big script and this big thing you have to run up and do. What are my hooks? How's it going? What are you girls up to? I like that. Look, you did right there. That was cute. Do that again. Sometimes she's gonna be like eh. Sometimes she's gonna be like this, look. What have I just lost there? Nothing. All you can ever do is gain information. That's it. Stop approaching girls and just start dropping hooks everywhere you go. The more you drop, the more girls you're gonna talk to. It doesn't have to be fancy. Guys, well what hook? You know what my favorite hook in the world is? It's really, really simple. Did you see that I'm communicating with you? Did you see that right there? Who did not see that? Oh yeah? Did you notice that I was doing something towards you? Did I get your attention? Did you see it? Now, some girls either gonna be like or some girls gonna be like I just dropped the hook right there. All it is is finding out what's this girl's deal. That's all I wanna do. I just wanna know. And the only way you can tell is to say something. I used to teach differently. I used to say well look at them and see if they're really friendly. Well then go approach them. If they look really like pissed off, don't approach them. I mean in general, I'm still gonna operate under that. But if I'm coaching, you never know. Cause I've had girls that look most friendly and they've just been cold. And I've had girls that look like they wanna punch somebody, actually be really sweet. And they were just kinda shy and nervous before. You never know, unless you check. So why not? Why wouldn't you? Dropping hooks, man. I literally, every single day, I live in New York side, walk past a shit ton of people all the time. Every single day, I literally will consciously try to make eye contact with each and every single person I pass. Practice. All it is is practice. And sometimes girls are gonna smile back. Sometimes though, you know what my favorite response is when I'm like giving? I'll just bore into people's heads. If they don't see me, I will just stare until I get something. That's another thing. Stare at people's heads. That's a hook. If they don't see you, never counted. You weren't staring, what are you talking about? Wait until their eyes meet. As soon as their eyes meet, you're gonna know whether they're into you or not. Either they're gonna smile back, either they're gonna be like, or my favorite response, which I was about to say, my favorite response, which most guys don't think of as a positive response. But when I look at a girl boldly, and she looks away really fast, when she looks down, oh, I love that response so much, because I know, just like when a, maybe in times past, obviously not nowadays. But I know when a girl's made me nervous when she's looked at me, I've had that same reaction. So when a girl does that, I just get this smile on my face because I know what I just did to her inside of her body. I just know, right? Right? Here's how you know you're doing it right. And I say the same thing about escalation. You know how you're doing it right? You know how you're doing it just enough? Because it feels really weird on the inside. You feel awkward, you feel funny. If you're not stepping outside of that comfort zone, if you're not making your own self feeling, oh, with the amount of eye contact you're making, you're not making enough. If you're not feeling really, really awkward about how far you're pushing the interaction, you're not doing it enough, I promise you. Because if you were, you'd be having a lot different results than you've already been having. And if you just keep doing what you've always done, you're gonna keep getting what you've always gotten. So you have to take different actions. It's really what it comes down to. It's so simple. I mean, we could break this down conversation. I mean, I talked about conversations last year. I talked about buffering. I talked about not talking too much. It's never about the secrets. The thing about conversation that's so funny, it's based on the same principle. Guys always say, oh, let's think about it in the same way. Like, what do I say? Like, what's the thing that I'm gonna be able to say to get her to like me? The ultimate fallacy, the ultimate lie of this industry, the ultimate lie of yourself down in your insecurity. You're not good enough as you are. She would not like you just for being the person who you are standing in front of her. You have to say something to get her to like you. She's up here, you're down here. And either she's gotta come down a couple pegs, or you've gotta say something that's gonna bring you up. The ultimate fucking lie of the industry. And they didn't come up with it. You've been telling yourself that long before they ever came up and made money off of that insecurity. It's bullshit. In the meantime, she's sitting there wondering, why the hell is this guy talking so much? I liked him, I was actually into him. Why is he trying to act like he needs to win me over? Actually, now I don't like him anymore. What the hell is he trying to make up for?