 I want to just right now show you six signals or red flags that you have to pay attention to to avoid ending up with someone who is not comparable to you. The first one is when you start dating without getting over your ex. You typically are going to make a wrong decision anytime you're going into the relationship with someone and you didn't take at least 12 months for separation emotionally and with your heart to disconnect completely. One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they when the relationship ended and things didn't work out they right away look for a band-aid to put a healing on that hurting heart and they go to the next relationship in reality they're not looking for love they're looking for healing and so the person that you might be dating is actually you're not dating them you are their band-aid until they truly recover and when you recover you usually throw away the band-aids and they'll dump you the same way they dumped the other way because they needed you during the healing and you get hurt you're like man but I thought they loved me they were hurting and you were so insecure because you have nothing going on in your life so you were really like oh they need me makes me feel good your identity is not supposed to be in the fact you need it but in the fact you're loved by God come on somebody when an instrument stops playing music the strings do not get disconnected right away when the relationship ends that does not mean the strings are detached it takes minimum from six to twelve months for your emotions to bounce back most of wrong relationships I've seen and you will witness and if you've ever made a mistake you will find out this rule was broken people break up and two months later they quickly go into some other relationship instead of taking time to pause what went wrong to pause and to ponder so that their heart gets healed so they don't go into a band-aid but they go into something that God called them to do number two is when you date someone who believes in God but they don't follow Jesus Christ believing in God is not enough demons believe in God and they're still going to hell and they not only believe in God the Bible says they tremble the person you're dating don't even tremble they just believe in God so it's better to date a demon because demons at least tremble mm-hmm but you don't want to date a demon you want to date somebody that God has for you are you with me and for that to happen as a Christian you got to look not only do not only do they believe in God do they follow Jesus Christ a statistic says that a divorce is sliced in the half for those people who have these three things in common they go to the same church together they share the same theology meaning if you believe is speaking in tongues they believe is speaking in tongues because if they believe in miracles and the other one doesn't believe in miracles you're gonna have friction so they have same theology so divorce rate is completely different for those who go to the same church who believe in the same theology and thirdly they practice their faith outside of the walls of the church so they're not just Catholic on Sunday and alcoholical on Saturday but they're practicing their faith and there are many Christians who do the same thing they come on Sunday God Jesus and they do exactly same moves on the club on Friday that's not that's gonna you're gonna fall into the same statistic as the world because you're no different in the world the only difference you just put a spiritual makeup and a cover on but you're a fake Christian but when you marry a genuine believer and you are a genuine as well and these three things are in place your relationship is not gonna be like the rest of the relationship even in church because you go under the Lordship of Jesus Christ can somebody say amen how to avoid ending up with the wrong person the third one is when you ignore your gut your gut when your gut tells you to okay let's just focus on the number three then when you expect a marriage to fix the person I already kind of mentioned that how to avoid ending up with the wrong person is to don't and don't marry someone don't even date someone that you're hoping will change after you get married and guys can be such a liars I will change I'll stop dealing drugs just get married to me listen if they never stop dealing drugs because of Christ you are not Jesus they'll never stop do it stop doing anything for you the only reason I'm looking at porn is because I don't have intimacy in my life but when we get married I promise porn will be out of the window the reason why you look at porn is because you're looking at porn period although the only reason why I'm still doing this I'm hanging out with my old friends is because I'm doing no no no never marry someone who promises to change after you get married a side note marriage don't change people marriage reveals people if the person you are with has a messy car they can only change temporarily so that you will go on a date with them but when you marry the car will be more messy than you ever seen in your life they would drive worse than they ever drove in their life because now they got you they don't have to they don't have to pursue you they can relax and be who they are whom you thought they'll change are you with me number four when your God tells you this is not right when you are in a relationship and you have no peace about it and your God says run not after them from them and there's one thing about your peace there's no one thing about your heart and your consciousness you can shut people down you can block people on your phone you can never go to your parents house because they're reminding you that you're making wrong decisions you can switch churches because you know that the pastor doesn't approve that you're doing what you're doing you can do whatever you can run from everyone you can run from yourself and see and God uses your spirit and your conscience as a communication point the spirit of a man is a lamp of the Lord means if God wants to get the message across he troubles you he gives you no peace he creates tension that's why I tell single people pay attention to your tension because it's the way God might protect you it's the way that God might guide you in your relationship don't ignore your conscience don't ignore the fact that you don't have peace about it but everything looks right but it feels wrong and the women especially they got that feeling worked up so good if a woman says that you can expect trouble I would I would encourage every woman here follow your intuition if your intuition is submitted to the Holy Spirit now if your intuition is not submitted to the Holy Spirit then submit it to the Holy Spirit because if you follow your God but your God doesn't follow your God then you will end up in a rut are you with me the Bible says don't follow your heart why because our heart has to be submitted to God we follow God but God uses sometimes our heart to communicate to us I know all process that you have to follow your heart my God tells us to follow the Lord and because I'm following the Lord he's able to communicate to me by taking away my peace so that I could pause and ponder and see could it be a different way that I might go are you with me number five how to avoid ending up with the wrong person is that when your mentors don't support you in this now there are mentors in your life and there are tour mentors in your life I'm not talking about the haters right now I'm talking about the people who love you people who genuinely care for you and you meet with them or people that you respect people that are are not just gonna be like you know whoever says they will agree with popular opinion but they'll tell you the truth even if you don't like it they're not winning your approval they know that they already want that and they will give you the feedback they won't reject you for that they were just simply saying you know I don't know why I just I just if they say I just this is the time to go praying fast this is the time to simply saying you know what God that's it because they might be seeing something you don't they might be seeing something you will only see six months after you get married and you realize maybe it's too late you gotta pay attention the Bible says in the multitude of counselors there is safety I know some people here you watch too much of Romeo and Juliet and so we have this thing where in our culture where the more people are against this the more romantic it is the more sexy it is because we watch so much Hollywood it's like yeah everybody's against they're awesome this is where the real love is let me tell you something about relationships that everyone is against when everybody starts being for it is when you lose the love because that love is not based on each other it's only based on the fact you are in a position to everyone and that's where that love is I've seen relationships where they die the day everyone stopped being against them because the only to defend that love is the fact that you had to fight against the world and the moment you don't have to fight against the world you begin to fight against each other a gentleman that was getting married here won't mention his name and he when he was a teenager he had few infatuations with some people that his mentors were not supporting well the Lord wasn't supporting his mentors were not supporting he wasn't even in support of that he just was a little bit infatuated and but he was obedient to the Lord and he didn't pursue any of those relationships they were not good for him and then finally a time came he finished his education and he fell in love and he was pursuing this person and they were about to get married and I remember he told me something that stuck with me he said this feels weird and I said how so I was like are you getting cold feet he said no no no no he said nobody's against me I was like it's because you're not in high school I was like because you're not you're not trying to go against the world he's like it is this normal that like the pastor is for it that the parents are for it the circumstances are falling into place and I said this is the right way and whatever you were doing in high school was not a right way come on somebody are you with me and number six when there is no mutual attraction it might be a wrong relationship for you if you're not mutually attracted to each other attraction is not the most important but it's important I know in some cultures attraction doesn't matter Isaac married Rebecca never even seen her never even had a chance to like her he saw her for the first time he was she was introduced as his wife he's like well it is what it is and the Bible says he loved her for most of us we don't live in the culture where parents choose marriage for you based on how the businesses will go you have a chance to choose someone based on your attraction that you have for them it's very important that you don't choose someone based just on their education based just on their appearance or based on how the kids will turn out you know how girls do that they're like they're ready a fourth dimension is like well our kids will look like this and stuff yeah he's the pick I don't like him but we'll have good kids they'll make up the kids will make up for the the fact we don't have no flow here if a lady gets married to a guy and she knows he has no attraction for her it causes her insecurities to go through the roof when a guy gets married to a lady and he doesn't have the attraction the lust that he already fights with it becomes a lot harder to overcome and so I challenge people that if you are in a dating relationship and there is no attraction listen turn it to the friendship and and don't pursue any further because attraction is very important if you don't have it now the chances of that having later sometimes god does miracles but it's better to lead those miracles to someone else