 Alright guys, so I got a question here from one of my subscribers who is having a hard time dealing with colleagues at work. So he wrote, I seem to be constantly disrespected and talk shit to, which in the long run is time to irritate me. When I talk to upper management they brush it off and consider me a little bitch for having the concern. But the disrespect for nature and attitude these people are having towards me is affecting my ability to communicate with my staff as a manager. I've tried being calm and collected, as well as unforgiving and relentless. So don't take me seriously because I don't have seniority and I'm not really that intimidating of a guy. I prefer to keep quiet and do my job. When it gets to be too much and I am not in the mood to mess with, I usually fight back so they can tell that I'm not wanting to deal with their shit. At this point they just laugh in my face. I've tried to take corrective actions in the form of write ups but they just get dismissed and shrugged off from my superiors. No one is taking me seriously and I am constantly disrespected. In fact if I just ignore them they only double down. I can't find a new workplace that will pay me enough to get by as I already struggle. The only other road to get people to take me seriously would be to be physical and I do not want that as a route to go down. Thanks man. Alright Jake I'm very glad that you asked that question because it relates to dealing with people. And dealing with people is a skill that you need to have to be incredibly effective because it's one of the hardest things you're going to have to do in life and not too many people know how to do it. So let's get into your question here. First of all you need to ask yourself why are they disrespecting you? Why are they bullying you like what you say they are? Do you believe that these people want to see the business fail? Do you believe that they want to make things harder than they need to be? Or ask yourself the question if you or someone else will they be treating you the way they're treating you? Because when you're dealing with people which you have to understand Jake is that you cannot change other people or how they behave directly. The only thing you can change in your world is yourself. And once you change yourself that's when they can react differently. So right now the way they're reacting it's in response to something you're doing. It might be something very subtle that you're not aware of. It's not always obvious maybe you're not giving people acknowledgement while you're working or maybe you're kind of ignoring them while you're working or doing slight things that might piss people off. See because I don't work with you I can't tell you exactly what it is. But there's always got to be something because you have to understand. Not everybody wants to see the world burn. Some people do but most people are just normal people. If they're disrespecting you if they're bullying you there's always a reason and you can find this reason by getting yourself out of your head. Picture yourself as someone else looking at you and thinking about what traits or what qualities do you have that you can be displaying that's forcing this behavior from them. Or another option you can have is go to someone you actually trust in work and tell them I've been disrespected. This is how I'm feeling. What is it that I am doing that could be the catalyst for this behavior these people demonstrate. And if this person is honest they'll tell you and if you are not in your ego you can analyze that advice. Also you mentioned here that people are not respecting you because you don't have seniority and you know that intimidating of a guy. Which I've to understand is that seniority and intimidation doesn't invoke respect it invokes fear. They're not going to respect you because of these things. People respect you based off the merits of your character based off your value. What value do you have in the workplace. So if you are doing a good job in the workplace if you are being nice to these people if you're giving compliments and stuff like that they will most likely respect you. It's unlike human beings to reciprocate hatred when you're doing good stuff. But if you're doing these write ups like what you're saying here talking up imagined. Obviously these people are going to feel attacked. They're going to feel like you're trying to get rid of them. So even in a situation they can't respect you. They're going to see you as someone who's just bitching and whining and trying to get rid of them. What you need to do is don't worry about management. To them that's not their concern. It's a minor concern. They don't want to worry about that. They want to get rid of workers because it's difficult to get new workers in the processes. Messed up. What you have to do is deal with these people directly. And a way you could do this is starting with win-win. And that's a concept from Stephen Covey's book. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Start with win-win. You can talk to these people and say hey look this is a situation. We both want to accomplish this goal. We both want to go to work. We both want to have a cool shift where everything goes well. What you're doing is affecting me from doing this. Do you want the work process to be disrupted or do you want it to flow smoothly? And if these people are reasonable they'll understand. What you have to do is go into these conversations without ego, without malice, without hatred. Go in it with the intent of making the workplace a better place. Start with heart as they said in the book. Crucial conversations. Start with the ending mind. Don't go in there having these ego battles. Most people do it when they're in conversations with people. They're trying to defend themselves. They're trying to defend their respect. They're trying to attack the other person. It's all about winning. No. Go in there with the end goal in mind. The end goal is to create a better workplace to accomplish your goals of work and to not get into these useless little shit fights. Okay let's say you do all these things and these people still persist in acting this way. Or another thing you can do is to not give them power. See right now you're giving them a whole lot of power. Right now you're playing the victim. Right now you're talking about management. Right now you're yelling at them. You're trying all these tactics. You're giving them power. You're giving them value in your life. I always talk about it. Human beings we have the capacity to choose our response to situations. We're not animals that react in a particular programmed way. We have the capacity to pause and think and then react. Don't give them your power. Don't think about them. Don't worry about them at all. Don't let them haunt you at your house. Don't let them stay in your mind. Get rid of them. They don't need to be in your life. You can still go to work and do your job. Pay people the necessary respect that you have to while you're at work and not give them power. You can still be unaffected by this. You can choose how you conduct your life. You can choose how grounded you are. Just don't give them power. Fuck them. Also, you mentioned the fact that you can't get a different job. Yes, you can. You definitely can get a different job. Think about it. Over here I don't give excuses. I don't I don't give excuses at all. You definitely can get a different job if you really wanted to. If you really wanted to, you do necessary things to get a different job. I didn't say it's going to be easy, but you can. We can always go back to the resource, the paradigm of thinking about if I was someone else, would I be able to do it? Are you telling me it's impossible for you if you are anyone else in the world to get a different job? There's definitely options. There's always options. There's always things you can do. Life is about strategy. It's about choices. What choices do you want to make? Now, it might seem like I'm being hard on you by telling you that it's all on you, but this is the only real advice anyone can give you because we can't control other people. We can only control ourselves. So this is all on you. It's on you to change who you are or how you deal with some situations. If you want to change them, it's on you to change your job. If you really want to, because no one's going to do it. It's all on you. The choice is yours. And that's the power of this channel. I'm telling you that the choice is yours. Once you accept that, once you take 100% responsibility, accountability for your situation, that's when you can change it. So it's up to you. Anyway, that's my tip. I hope you like that. Might not be what you wanted to hear, but I give good advice because I'm giving you the real advice. And if any of you guys have questions, make sure you leave them down in the comment section below. If you want to be anonymous, you can send me an email. Anyway, have you had a hard time with colleagues at work? Leave a comment down below and let's discuss. Peace.